


Don't fall

by Hikikomori_Ho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: 2won, DONT READ TAGS IF YOU DONT WANT SPOILERS ON THE RELATIONSHIPS, Fluff, Gen, JooHyuk, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, Past Relationships, Patient Wonho, Somehow HYUNGWON became the main character as well hehe, Wonhyuk - Freeform, a little smut sometimes, celebrity wonho, dancer hyungwon, doctor hyungwon, hyungwonho cuz it's my religion, psychiatric hospital, sassy but soft hearted wonho, wonho is the main character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-07-12 20:18:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 100
Words: 231,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16002545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikikomori_Ho/pseuds/Hikikomori_Ho
Summary: " names are meaningless. words don't mean anything. and this place? well, i like it here. it's better than being among brainless people out there. at least the ones here have gone crazy from thinking too much. somehow. "





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> What if we dream of a red rose and when we wake up, we're holding that rose in our hand?
> 
>  
> 
> Hi Hello Anneyeong!
> 
> have you read Veronika wants to die? cause this story kindda sorta has those vibes? well, i guess you'll find out by reading it ey?  
> There will be relationships ( either in past memories or present ones) but i won't put the tags above cuz i don't want them to be spoiled.  
> Also, i'm a fan of many groups but the main one here would be my precious Monsta X ( who da X?)  
> i don't know how long this story will be but i hope you enjoy it. imma update frequently so ,,, let's get it!

      

 

[ from left to right: wonho, himchan, hyungwon]

 

{ edit: the POV will change to third person in the next couple of chapters. idk why i started writing in this style lmao }  

 

( Wonho's POV) 

After a big fight with my parents and manager, well former manager, they decided to send me to a psychiatric hospital for a while to as they said and i quote " get my shit together and get that personality fixed. " so here i am. in the head-doctor's room. waiting for your majesty to come. i mean is it not a hospital for crazy people? doesn't making a patient wait for almost 20 minutes now push them to the edge and make them lose control? the mischievous part of me wants to act like the crazy person i was supposed to be due to the many speeches people around have given me and start throwing things around to teach the oh so high and mighty doctor a lesson, never to make me wait for his ass this long again. but i decide it's better to sit tight and behave for now. you never know what the other might have up on his sleeve. maybe he'll hold a grudge and start electrocuting me or something. i mean mental hospital's doctors are pretty mental themselves. that's what i've found out from the many movies with this plot i've watched. 

i look at my watch, two more minutes and it'll be exactly 23 minutes waiting for this asshole. i stand up going back and forth from side to side in the room. 

" calm your ass and sit back down." my father says

" i can't calm my ass! we've been waiting for 23 minutes. 24 now. am i supposed to get better in this place? i'm already getting worse. i wanna clash everything. " feeling frustrated as fuck i keep looking around till my eyes catch a book in the shelf. " If only by Lili Smith" i take out the book, the cover is a mixture of light and dark colors. gives you all kinds of mixed and confused feelings. i open a random page ' as i was laying down on my bed looking at the ceiling, i felt fresh air hitting my skin. there are no windows in my room. but then again, i have gotten used to this without knowing the reason. the phone keeps vibrating as someone doesn't wanna give up calling again and again and again. should i just turn it off? should i just turn myself off? ' i was deep in thought when the door finally opened and a man came in.

" Sorry for being late and thank you for waiting for me. hi, my name is Himchan. Kim Himchan. " he says and shakes my father's hand while smiling ridiculously wide.

he stretches his hand towards me but i just walk past him and jump on the couch. " well it's not we had any other choice but to wait! now my blood is boiling. what's your solution doc? " i say as i keep my gaze on him. he looks back straight into my eyes, with a happy face " i'm really sorry ... " he looks at the file on his desk for a second and looks back at me again " wonho, that's a very nice name may i say? i had to deal with an emergency. i hate being late myself. " 

" well then we have something in common. " i say and look away outside the window. it has a nice view. shows almost all of the yard area.

" i have to admit i didn't expect a mental hospital to be this lively. the yard is full of trees and flowers. you got yourself a nice view." i say without looking at him

" i prefer the term psychiatric hospital. mental is not a very nice word to use. most people here are quite ok. " 

" tomato tomaaato. it's all means the same. only the design is different. " 

" i see you found one of my favorite books. a fan ? " he points at the book i didn't know i still held in my hand

" oh, this? no i just found it while waiting 'so patiently' for you to come. it seems interesting though. i read half a page and i can tell i wanna read the rest." 

" keep it then. as an apology for being late. " he smiles again. he smiles too much but somehow it's contagious. if i wasn't mad at him, i'd probably smile back. he looks in my file again.

" so, wonho, i see you have overdosed, three times? is it right? did you do this as an attempt to commit suicide or your calculation went wrong? " he says the last part teasingly. i roll my eyes at him and smirk " the second part. " " all three times? " " yes. when you're drunk or high as fuck and you decide to do drugs, you really can't calculate accordingly doc. " he hums. " well, i can' really say anything to that. i've never gotten high or drunk as fuck. " 

" you should try it sometimes. it's fun." 

" i'm sure i can live well without the experience wonho " he smiles again and turns to my father " mr. shin we're going to keep wonho here for at least 3 months. we will help him stop doing the drugs, in addition to taking care of his condition. you don't have anything to be worried about. we're gonna take good care of him here. with his help, he's gonna be able to go back to his career in no time. " 

" thank you doctor. i really want him to go back to being the sweet lovely boy he was before all the drugs and drinking and... overdosing. his mother nearly died each time they informed us. " the two kept talking like i was not there. " hello?! i'm right here and i'm not some 2 year old. don't talk like that in front of me. " my father sighs and stands up " i put my trust in you then doctor kim. oh i almost forgot, can we come visit? " " ofcourse you can, once a week on sundays you can. " dad leaves the room but not before patting my head like a cat.

" Hyungwon, come in please. " doc calls out and a very prety, doll like guy comes in, wearing the same white uniform. " yes dr.? " " hyungwon, this is wonho, you'll take care of him from now on. show him around and guide him to his room. " he turns his look to me " i hope we can get along well wonho. tell me what you think about the book when you finish it. " 

" hi wonho, my name is hyungwon. come, let's show you around." he smiles and stretches out his hand towards me. 

" so it this how it's gonna be? treating me like some ill person? thank you, i can stand up and walk well by myself. " i say furiously and walk out of the room. 

hyungwon follows with a folder in his hand. " so tell me about yourself." 

" everything you need to know is in that folder in your hands. " i say before looking at him. " aren't you a little too young to be a doctor?!" 

he laughs shortly " i guess i am but i finished early. i'm kind of a genius." 

" well then you wasted your brain's capacity. " i comment

" how come? " he asks eyes widened

" you could become and astronaut or a brain surgeon or whatever but you decided to become what? mental people's doctor? " i mock him 

he doesn't show anything at first but then he smiles again " i decided to become a psychiatrist because of personal reasons but it doesn't mean i wasted my brain. communicating with all these people and coming up with things to say to make them feel better is not exactly an easy thing to do wonho. and please, don't call them mental. do you consider yourself mental cause you're here? " i don't reply and just continue walking.

 


	2. Two

       

 

[ from left to right: yongguk, taehyung, kai]

 

( Wonho's POV)

hyungwon has been showing me around for the past thirty minutes or so. the halls, the medic's room, the very scary area where i saw a poor soul being dragged to. the dining room, huge and full of tables and chairs but somehow empty at the same time. the room with so many couches and a big tv. bookshelves with so many books. and paintings on the walls. i have to look at them closely when i have the chance. and then the yard. it's not that huge but it's very nice. a fountain with a statue of some kind of a greek goddess maybe in the middle of it. i'm looking around, fascinated by all the flowers when something catches my eyes. a girl sitting alone, back against the wall, eyes closed. she looks somehow different from all the people i've seen so far during this short tour. hyungwon looks to the direction i'm looking at and says " don't try to get close to her. she won't let you. if she is interested in you at all, she'll come around herself. come on, let me show you your room." he drags me while i'm still looking at her. she has very short hair, maybe even shorter than mine and it's lilac. it's very eye-catching. while i'm appreciating the peaceful sleeping figure, she suddenly opens her eyes, staring right at me. i keep my eyes on her but she closes her eyes again after a two or three second. i give up and follow hyungwon. we walk up the first set of steps where it divides to two different paths, followed by another set of stairs on each side. hyungwon goes right and i just follow. " here we are. " he turns his head to look at me. " this is your room. you have two roommates. they are nice people. harmless and no need to worry about them at all." he smiles again

" do all the employee here smile all the time or is it just the two of you?" i ask hyungwon and he looks like he is taken aback. " does smiling bother you? " he asks " if it's meant to somehow force the positive feelings and shit under my skin then yes it annoys me. i hate being treated like a kid or some stupid person. " 

" it doesn't mean to do anything wonho. smiling is contagious. i smile, you smile. eventually. and smiling proves mental health. " 

" ugh, if you weren't so pretty i'd kick you in the nuts. this is my room right? can you leave me alone now? " i really wanna be alone

hyungwon smiles again " sure, just come find me if you need anything. nurses here are nice people too so you can also go to them. " he turns around to leave but then stops and looks at me " and wonho? don't push the members to the edge, please. remember, everyone is dealing with their own demons." 

he walks away and i enter the room. it has three beds. i see my backpack and suitcase on the side of one so i assume that's my bed. there's someone lying on the bed to the right corner, sleeping. and then there's this other guy sitting by the window, looking outside. i sigh " and here i was, thinking i could be alone at last." the guy by the window turns to look at me but doesn't say anything and goes back to whatever he was looking at. i take my stuff out and arrange them, thinking how much of a shitshow this'll be. i'm already feeling pain all over my body. i haven't taken anything for over a day now and i really need something. anything.

" you're new." i hear someone saying. i turn around to see the boy who was asleep, now awake obviously, sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes. he comes near me and stretches out his hand. " i'm taehyung, and you are? " i shake his hand. " wonho. " he nods and points to the man sitting by the window. " that's yungguk. he doesn't talk much. but answers when you talk to him." i look at the guy mentioned. he seems like he's deep in thought. before i can ask anything about this place, a shock runs through my body. and i start trembling badly. taehyung grabs my shoulders " what's wrong? " he askes with a calm voice. " i need drugs. i haven't taken any in so long. " i'm really losing my mind. those assholes didn't let me take any before sending me to this stupid place. " i'll go take Kai." a deep voice says. i look and realize it was the man by the window who is now walking out the room. why is his voice so deep? why are taehyung's hands so heavy? it's like they're burning my shoulders where they touch. i'm losing control, big time. i need a shot or pills or anything. god i hate those who brought me here so much. some minutes pass by slower than they're supposed to and finally yungguk comes back with a tall strong looking guy by his side. he kneels in front of me and makes taehyung let go of my shoulders which is a relief. " wonho, i'm gonna inject you now. don't move." he does and i immediately calm down. not too much cuz the dose was not enough, not even close but it helped with the edge a little. i lean back against the drawer and close my eyes. " i'm gonna inject you with calculated doses from now on until your body is used to it before we completely cut you from it. " 

" sure. do as you want. i'm gonna behave as long as i'm here. you're gonna have to let me out sometime eventually. and i can go back to do things my way. " i say with my eyes still closed. breathing heavily.

" hmmm, i'm thrilled to hear you're not gonna cause me any trouble while being here. you can continue ruining your life when you're discharged. " he says and i'm taken aback. usually, doctors and nurses are supposed to scold the patient for such words. ' the patients ' awesome! now i'm referring to myself as a patient. good job wonho. bravo. i open my eyes and look at him. " you're different from the smiley doctors. i like it." i smirk. " yeah, i don't care about your condition. if you try to cause drama, i'll kick your ass. i don't care about the 'being nice at all times' policy." he says while gathering his stuff. " my name is Kai by the way. i'll be around if you need anything." he says and smiles. i smile back. " i have a feeling i'm gonna need you alot kai. since you're the one with the goodies. " " i'm not gonna give any to you out of the order wonho. you ask for extra or try to get your hands on any, you'll pay for it the hard way. " he says with a straight face. " the hard way? what's that?!" i can't help but wonder, it gives me the creeps. " it's to help make you behave. " he smirks devilishly. this guy is the exact opposite of the doctors and here hyungwon was, telling me how nice the nurses are! nice my ass. this Kai dude seems very intimidating. " well then i'll get going. get some rest. dinner's in two hours." kai says and smiles brightly. wow is he bipolar or something?! my head keeps getting heavier by second and i lie down and soon i'm deep drowning in the dreamland.


	3. Three

 

{ lee Jooheon } 

 

(Wonho POV)

" hyung. hyuuuung. wake up, hm? come on. you've been in your room for three days now. at least come eat something." 

" i'm not hungry jooheon-ah." i said while still lying in bed with my eyes closed.

" how can you not be hungry? when was the last time you ate? or drank? or showered? you stink you know." jooheon ran his fingers through my hair, combing them up.

" i don't know. i just don't have any appetite. can i be alone please?" i said as i pushed jooheon's hand away gently.

" no. you've been alone enough already. look how skinny you've become. do you think he'd want to see you in this condition?" 

" he won't be seeing me in any condition jooheon, that's the whole fucking point." i yelled at him opening my eyes, looking straight in his eyes. " i won't be seeing him anymore. cuz he left. he left and i'm here and i don't care if i stink or if i'm skinny. you all need to leave me the fuck alone." i closed my eyes again and a tear rolled down my face.

 

i felt someone shaking my body. " leave me alone jooheon. i don't wanna eat." i said feeling irritated.

" who's jooheon? it's dinner time. so you're not gonna eat?" a voice said.

i opened my eyes and felt confused before i remembered where i am. the hospital. with this blond dude hovering over me, trying to wake me up. i pushed him away " you know, there's no need to hover over me in order to wake me up. you could've just called my name." 

" i did. you didn't move an inch. also..." he reached out and rubbed my cheek with his thumb. " you cried in your sleep." taehyung said while smiling brightly.

" and why are you so happy i cried in my sleep?" i raised an eyebrow trying to figure this guy out.

" because! feelings! they're beautiful!" he said lively.

i sighed for the nth time that day " fuck my life." taehyung tilted his head in confusion. he opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by the deep voice " let's get going taehyung." yongguk then turned looking at me " you coming or not?" i nodded and got up, following them to the dining room.

 

There was only one empty table at the dining room when we got there. the room was filled with people. men and women of all ages. the three of us got our food and sat around the lonely table by the window. it was sunset and the sky was an angry red. ' blood has been shed.' said a familiar voice in my head and suddenly i lost my appetite again. pushing the food aside, i noticed a smiling hyungwon coming our way with his food tray in hand. " mind if i join you?" 

" i'm new and i don't care. they're the ones you should be asking." i pointed at the two who were sitting across me.

" please, sit hyungwon." yongguk said smiling. i looked at him and noticed his dimples. they were similar to kihyun's. he looked very soft smiling like this. so much unlike the vibe his cave voice gives out. yongguk looked around the room as if looking for someone. hyungwon must've known who he was looking for " she's not here hyung." his voice was so low, like he didn't wanna hear his own voice saying that sentence. in that moment he looked genuinely down.

" is she eating at all?" yongguk asked, concern written all over his face. " i bring her food to her room. that way she eats a little." yongguk and hyungwon kept looking at eachother for a short while as if they were talking without words when a shouting taehyung shocked all of us. " WONHO IS THAT YOU?" he was pointing at somewhere behind me. i turned around to look where he was pointing at and saw myself on TV. it was one of my music videos that was filmed in one of the concerts. " you're a singer? that was NOT in your file! " hyungwon said, obviously surprised.

" being a singer is irrelevant to my current situation so it was not accurate to mention it. besides, i'm rather famous and i'm actually hurt you don't know me!" i said the second part teasingly.

" but...!! " hyungwon was looking at me with widened eyes. it was really cute. not like the doctor figure he tried so hard to pull off.  " hm? but what? " i said while tilting my head and looking into his eyes. he blinked and got his professional persona back on. " but! i've been in this place 24/7 and i haven't had the time to check out pop music really."  " well then, it's a shame." i replied while standing up. " you haven't eaten anything!" hyungwon said . " not hungry." 

 

the yard was empty when i went outside and it was dark now. somehow all the noise from the dining room was replaced by the unlimited silence out here, only to be disturbed by the sound of water coming down from the fountain. i stood there looking at the statue figure, trying to remember the name. i was interested in Greek mythology when i was a kid and i knew all the gods' names by heart but somewhere along the shitty road of growing up i forgot all of it. 

" beautiful, isn't it? " i heard someone saying. i looked to the right to see the girl with lilac hair, coming closer with slow steps.

" yeah, i'm trying to remember the name but so far..." i gestured with my hands and shrugged my shoulders. she smiled shortly and sat in front of the fountain on a stone, merely one meter away from me. i did the same and grabbed a leaf that had fallen from a nearby tree, playing with it.

" do you like it in here?" i asked, trying to start a conversation. was stupid tho! who can possibly like being in such a place! 

" like? what does that imply?" she asked calmly. i didn't know what to say. how was i supposed to explain the word ' like ' in the term of being used for a mental hospital?

" i... don't know. like do you like being here? with all these people? being treated and stuff? i don't know how to explain a word. what's your name by the way? " i tried to change the subject. she looked at me with a numb expression. i couldn't figure out what she was thinking at all. after a while she turned to look at the fountain again. 

" names are meaningless. words don't mean anything. and this place? well, i like it here. it's better than being among brainless people out there. at least the ones here have gone crazy from thinking too much. somehow." she closed her eyes after that and breathed in deeply before standing up and leaving without another word. i looked at her disappearing in the darkness of the yard as i kept thinking about her words. ' names are meaningless.' maybe they are. maybe that's why i can't remember this goddess's. after all names are just one of the many labels that are stuck to our forehead right after being born. but i can't imagine liking being here. i wanna be at my house. alone and preferably high so i can shut the voice in my head down. i need to go search for kai.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo Anniyeong!
> 
> i'm gonna switch to third person point of view cuz i like this style more? hehe...

 

" LOOK! the sky is RED! do you know what that means?"  wonho looked at him with widened eyes " what does it mean?" he deepened his voice and gestured his hands towards the sky " BLOOD HAS BEEN SHED" 

wonho tried to keep himself from laughing but failed. " what century are you living at? what blood you idiot?" he pouted and wonho's heart melted. " you're no fun" he said while elbowing won's side. " ok ok blood has been shed. that's why the sky is red. good? now come here." wonho hugged him and he rested his head on won's shoulder. " when will you leave?" he whispered. " tomorrow morning." silence. he didn't say another word.

 

" wonho? wonho can you hear me? come on wonho." he felt heavy hands slapping his face. his whole body was in so much pain like he had been beaten up. he groaned in pain and moved to the side and curled up in a ball. " oh thank god" he heard a voice saying. 

" just keep an eye on him to prevent something like this from happening again. kai, you should've known better." doctor himchan scolded the nurse before leaving the room.

" what happened?" wonho asked with a hoarse voice, with his eyes half open, still feeling in pain.

" you stole drugs and had a semi-overdose, that's what happened. honestly, are you that bad in math? or do you wanna kill yourself? if it's the second, tell me so i can kill you myself. i thought you said you're going to behave while being here?" kai was injecting him with something while talking with an annoyed tone.

" feel free to kill me anytime you want. it's not like i have anything left to live for anyway." kai slapped my arm. " ouch! is that a way to treat a patient?"  " you are saner than anyone here if you can pass through a high-security room and steal drugs like that." wonho giggled.

" thanks kai, i'll take it from here." hyungwon closed the door when kai left. after a few seconds of looking at wonho, he smiled and sat beside the bed. " why did you do it?"  " i.... just needed his voice to vanish."  " whose?"  wonho didn't answer. hyungwon shifted in his seat and held wonho's hand in his. " it's ok wonho. you're gonna have to let it out in order to be able to deal with the pain." 

" that's pure bullshit hyungwon. as soon as i put this, this feeling into words, it'll all come back to me full force and i will be ruined."   " yeah but you're here so we can repair you. i'm not forcing you to talk right now but you're gonna have to eventually."

 

" come in." himchan said after hearing the knocking.

" come sit here hyungwon." hyungwon sat beside kai in front of himchan's desk.

" as i was telling kai, wonho's case is a rather sensitive one. he might not have a major disease label but we can't just go easy on him. what happened today was a surprise to me as well as he didn't show any signs beforehand." himchan said

" well, he was rahter uneasy at the dinner." hyungwon said

" explain" 

" he kept looking at the sky and then left without eating anything. i don't know, he just wasn't as hype as i saw him the first time." 

himchan sighed. " i put you and kai in charge for this because i needed him to be fully focused on. but seems like both of you had failed this. how did he even get in the medic's room kai?" 

" i wish i knew! there were no sign of breaking in, seems as if he just entered the passcode and went inside! is he a genius or something?" kai gestured with his hands.

" well you could say that." himchan rotated his laptop so that the two could see the screen.

" as i figured, you two have been too busy to have the time to check out his profile. this guy can easily pull of the title of a 'genius'. he was a programmer before becoming a singer. well this was his career queue: programmer, dancer, singer and producer." 

kai and hyungwon kept looking at the profile with their mouths wide open in shock.

" how did he end up being a drug addict with no sense of math then? he always fucking miscalculates!" kai asked

" as his father explained to me, he tends to lose himself before using the drugs. you know, the cases that the person doesn't know his surroundings and just focuses on getting what he needs and doesn't understand how much he's taking."

" he mentioned earlier that he wanted a person's voice to vanish. i asked whose but he didn't answer." hyungwon said

" he kept saying a word, maybe a name over and over again when he was unconscious." kai added.

" in any case, please keep a close eye on him and make sure to double and triple the security of the med's room. kai you can go now. hyungwon you stay." 

" okay, i'm gonna go check on him then. later docs." kai waved his hands and left the room.

himchan stood up and walked towards hyungwon, sitting beside him.

" has she said anything recently?" himchan asked

" no, nothing new i mean. she just asks about my day and some patients and my opinion on the books she gives me to read. nothing out of the ordinary. but she's been rather calm." 

" it's the quiet before the storm hyungwon. keep her under observation." himchan stood up and walked towards his desk. " you can go now." hyungwon stood up as well and was about to leave the room when himchan talked again " oh and i saw her talking to wonho last night. not for long though." 

hyungwon nodded and left the room. how come she talks to a new person as easy as that? sure there is something about wonho that makes you feel at ease and intimidated at the same time but it's very unusual for her to come up to a stranger like that. it remained at the back of his head as a tingling feeling. 

 


	5. Five

   

 

{ Jung Daehyun, Yeontan } 

~~~~~~~

 

 

' no one understands the intensity of the black dog's company unless they've experienced it themselves at some point. i can't tell anyone that i cried for an hour today because there was a lizard in my house and i was alone so i stood there looking at it's direction, unable to move because i could neither kill it nor ignore it. the crying wasn't even because of the creature. it was because all of a sudden i felt alone. and the lizard was like a symbol for all the problems i had and had to deal with without any source of help. i wanted to kill myself at that moment. the reason of my suicide? a lizard in the corner of the room. now that would make a hit article. fortunately, it decided to hide so i could pretend it wasn't there in the first place and moved everything i needed to my bed, hoping it wouldn't be able to climb up. the art of pretending that i've become a professional in, became handy at last. why pretend you ask? because it's easier to deal with stuff that way. the irony is i hate pretenders. maybe that's why i hate myself?'

wonho closed the book with the sound of the doorknob opening. " oh wonho, have you been waiting for too long?" 

" it's ok doc, i've gotten used to you being late all the time." himchan giggled and fixed his glasses. 

" nice glasses by the way." wonho spread his legs and shrunk deeper in the armchair, getting more comfy.

" thanks, honestly you're the first one who noticed." 

" is that so? well then shows how much of sanity i have and it implies i'm okay enough so you can let me go already." wonho said in a worn out voice. he was feeling down without knowing the reason all day.

" nice try but we don't want you to feel ' okay enough', we want you to feel great. and free of drugs. speaking of, you've been doing very well for the past week." 

" i don't want kai on my ass so i choose to behave and take what he gives me.  the dude gives me the chills." wonho laughed at his own nonsense. it wasn't because of the poor nurse. he went along with their plan in hopes to be discharged sooner. the sooner the better.

himchan looked at him closely, observing his facial features and hummed. he looked down at his folder and then looked at his watch. " you have visitors today. go see them and we'll talk later again." 

wonho raised an eyebrow " honestly himchan! i never get the point of our talks, you never seem to ask any important stuff or anything. just a quick conversation and then getting rid of me as soon as possible." 

" i get all the information i need in that short time tho." 

" yeah? well then what did you find out from this 5 minute session that i waited 15 minutes for?" wonho started playing with the cover of the book in his hands. himchan looked at him for a moment, his gaze soft but intimidating.

" i wanted to know the reason of you being a good boy unlike your reputation in this folder i'm holding." 

" good boy? that's kinky doc. and did you find out anything?" 

himchan laughed " of course i did. but let me tell you something, acting as if you're doing good won't result in me discharging you earlier than the due date." himchan started going through the pile of documents on his desk. " that's all for today, you can go now." he said to an open-mouthed, wide-eyed wonho. the patient blinked a couple of times, before closing his mouth and standing up, living the room with quiet steps.

 

wonho was about to enter his shared room when he heard his roommates talking. he decided to wait for their conversation to end before going inside. 

 

" hyung, please? i don't wanna see them but i miss Tan so much. can't you just bring him up here?" taehyung was begging yongguk at this point.

" i said no tae, you should face them some time. if you miss tan so much, just go and see him yourself." 

taehyung pouted and sat on his bed. " i hate you. i'll just escape from here, pick tan up from that hell house and run away from all of you." 

yongguk just sighed and didn't say anything. wonho waited a couple of minutes to see if they're done before entering the room. as soon as he entered, taehyung jumped up and circled his hands around his bicep. " wonho hyung, will you do me a favor? i'll do anything if you do this for me. please please please??" wonho looked at yongguk and then looked at taehyung, knowing what the younger was about to ask him. 

" go on." 

" my family are coming to visit today and they're bringing my dog with them. can you bring her up here so i can see her? please?" 

there was so much going on in taehyung's eyes that made wonho lose to him. taehyung was a precious human being and in all honesty wonho couldn't imagine what would his parents have done for him to not want to see them so bad. but he knew the feeling of wanting to meet a certain someone so bad that he gave in to tae's request.

" alright. i'll ask them but if they don't let me, it's not my fault." upon hearing that taehyung hugged him tightly while saying thank you a hundred times and ran out of the room.

" you shouldn't have agreed." yongguk said while fixing his bed.

" why not?" 

" he needs to meet his parents." 

" and why do you think you have the right to decide for him hyung?" yongguk just looked at him and didn't say anything further.

 

 

it was 4 o'clock which meant he had to go down to get tan up and see who had come to visit. probably his parents. taehyung had shown him a picture of Tan so it wasn't hard to find her in the mass of people. he approached the woman who had the puppy in her hands. 

" hello, i'm taehyung's roommate. he asked me to bring tan to him. would you be kind and let me? he really wanted to see her." wonho said softly with a smile on his face.

the woman looked uncomfortable and somewhat disappointed but handed him the puppy anyway. he smiled again and ran towards their room to give his dongsaeng the fluffy puppy.

" taehyung look. someone has come to visit you." wonho said to the boy who was curled up inside his blanket on bed. upon hearing that, taehyung jumped up and hugged tan, kissing her nonstop.

" I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D GIVE HER TO YOU. THANK YOU HYUNG. YOU'RE THE BEST." wonho had grown very fund of the younger boy the past 10 days of being here so seeing a hype taehyung was his favorite. he walked back to the visiting area and looked around for his parents.  only that they were not alone. 

" so i guess there's something going on with the company?" wonho said while sitting down in front of the three people who came to visit him. 

" hello to you too my son! you have gained some color back so i guess this place is working." his father said

" i'm still pale as fuck but the color is because all i can do in the prison you've put me in is hanging out at the yard."

" language wonho." his mother said while shifting uncomfortably in her seat looking at the third company. wonho looked at the guy " spill daehyun. we don't have all day. what's up my loyal lawyer?"

deahyun seemed to calculate his words before talking. " he wants to buy your shares at the company." 

wonho lost his color at the mention of the person. " is he back to work? has he fully recovered?" 

his parents sighed. " he is back to work, yes but his situation's still the same. you should let go already wonho. you're just torturing yourself this way." 

wonho looked down at his hands for a moment before gulping down some water " sell it then. do as he wishes."

" but son, it's your company as well. how many of the major ideas were yours through the years? he can't just take it away from you like that." his mother said

" it's his company mom, i just sponsored at the beginning and then shared the ideas that came to my mind. plus i'm no longer in the position for objecting. do as he wants daehyun. i don't even need the money. just transfer the shares to him." 

his mother grabbed his hands " enough of this. tell me about this place. how are the people in here?" 

" i.... they are.... i need to go." wonho stood up and walked out of the area the fastest he could. he ran and hid in the deepest and darkest corner of the hospital. crying his eyes out and thinking this was really it. he had really cut all the ties this time in order to not see the singer anymore. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry guys. i don't know if Tan is a she or he. i just assumed is a She. so forgive me if the cutie is a He. hihi
> 
> B.A.B.Y z, please keep supporting B.A.P
> 
> Monbebe z, please stream Livin' it up and Jhoney's mixtape.
> 
> Army, well ... you guys don't need instructions haha.


	6. Six

 

 

wonho hadn't slept in almost three days now. just a quick nap here and there. with very visible dark circles surrounding his eyes, he pressed the last key on the keyboard of his laptop to see if the program runs without any problems. " fucking finally." he whispered when he was sure the program worked perfectly.  a cup of hot milk and honey was placed next to his laptop on the desk, following by warm but short kisses on his temple. arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind, a voice whispering in his ear " well done my love. i'm proud of you. drink that and head to bed. i'll take care of the rest." and then the figure disappeared into thin air. he didn't think much about it and tried to pick up the cup of warm liquid. taking a sip of it, he noticed the strange taste. he looked down at the cup, inside of it filled with blood. he panicked and threw the cup away while jumping up and causing the chair to fall backward. his breathing pattern was a mess, a million questions in his head and his hands covered with blood. his whole body was trembling. he shut his eyes, wishing for someone to come rescue him from this nightmare. when he opened his eyes mere seconds later he wasn't there anymore. he was in a shared room with two other males. the hospital. ' aaah another nightmare' he thought to himself and wiped the sweat on his face away using his sleeves and looked around. yongguk wasn't in his bed. he knew he couldn't sleep anymore so he put on his slippers to go have a walk in the yard. it was 3 AM.

 

as he was walking down the stairs quietly, he noticed a pair making out by the big window of the hall in the dim light of the moon. he had to pass them in order to be able to enter the yard so he decided to nonchalantly walk by them. only when he got closer, in one look he recognized the pair. one was yongguk and the other was the mystery girl. some questions popped in his head but he decided to just ignore them and continue his path only to be met by the gaze of the lilac haired girl. she looked at him while making out with yongguk and that made wonho freeze on his spot. a few moments later, the girl opened her left arm toward wonho, gesturing for him to get closer. when wonho was a few inches away, yongguk pulled back and looked at him but wonho didn't have time to catch the expression on the elder's face cuz the girl had pulled him in and they were now kissing. it was slow but had a strange kind of warmth and calm to it. after what felt like several minutes, the girl pulled back, wiping the corner of her mouth by her thumb, looking at them both. wonho was speechless. it was the strangest make out session of his entire life. his roommate standing there like it was the most normal thing ever.

" i'm tired now. you guys can continue without me." said the girl before walking away slowly at first but then fastening her steps.

wonho looked at yongguk with question marks written all over his face. " what? you don't wanna make out now, do you?" yongguk said with a smirk. his gums showing and his voice teasing. it was the first time wonho was seeing the other like that. almost as if he was happy. the elder continued " it's her thing. don't worry, it's not because you're a bad kisser." 

yongguk went in the yard and sat by the fountain. playing with the little stones by his feet. wonho sat next to him. " another nightmare?" wonho's eyes widened at the question. " how do you know i have those?" " you talk in your sleep sometimes." then gestured toward his soaked tshirt " and you sweat." 

wonho sighed. it was not like he could hide it. " just a memory mixed with a very bad symbol of another memory." 

" you know i don't talk much but i have ears. you can talk to me whenever you want." wonho smiled and nodded.

" can i ask why you're here? you look very normal and sane to me." 

" same goes for you. what could a famous celebrity do in this place having nightmares almost every night?" yongguk threw a stone in the water. " i have some fears. i... i was actually doing fine but my dongsaengs, they need me to be a hundred percent and when they put lili here, i couldn't help but follow. maybe we can both heal?" yongguk giggled sarcastically and looked to the opposite side.

" lili?" wonho asked " yeah, the girl with the lilac hair, lili"  " oh so that's her name. but , i mean, weren't you upset when she kissed me?"   youngguk laughed shortly, his face turned into a sad expression " we're not really together wonho, so she can do what she wants. i don't own her." 

 

 

" no taehyung, you can't feed dog food to birds. why would you even wanna do that?" 

" well what if that's all that's left to eat? what then? are we supposed to just let them die?" 

kai was ready to skin himself alive inch by inch because of all the irrelevant questions the younger kept asking him.

" they'll probably die either way so why not let them die with a non-upset stomach?" 

" pRoBably? then you can't say for sure. hmmmm" taehyung hummed and moved his head, looking deep in though.

kai facepalmed. " come here wonho, the sooner i inject you with your goodies, the sooner i'm able to flee."

" OH MY GOD" taehyung screamed and everyone jumped out of their flesh. " what if the dogs went crazy from all the starvation and ate the birds? oh my god the poor birds!" 

" relax taehyung, weren't there supposed to be lots of dog food in store? so the dogs wouldn't even starve in the first place." kai answered him trying to remain calm.

" looking like you're having fun kai." hyungwon said with a wide smile on his face while entering the room. " yeah, i'm having the time of my life."   hyungwon laughed. wonho couldn't help but laugh as well.

" hyung, zelo will come to get you today. try and have some fun while you're out please?" hyungwon said to yongguk.  " i will hyungwonnie, we're going to the arcade on sunday, wanna tag along?" a smily yongguk answered. " really? of course! the last time was when we all went together i guess. feels like a million years ago." he handed a piece of paper to yongguk. " make sure to bring the medics with you and don't lose that paper."   " i know kiddo, don't boss me around. i practically raised you!" hyungwon laughed some more. today was a good day. the mood was bright.

" i wanna go to the arcade too..." said a whiny taehyung. 

" can't you bring him with you that day? it'll be a few hours only." yongguk asked the doctor.

" i'll ask himchan." hyungwon replied and looked at wonho. " want me to ask for your permission as well?"   " i can't go around as i wish hyungwonnie." wonho smirked at the mention of the nickname. waiting to see hyungwon's reaction. to his surprise, the doctor seemed to get a tiny bit shy because of it. he cleared his throat " i keep forgetting you're an all mighty celebrity. not my fault though. you refuse to sing for us." wonho's mood was ruined as easy as that. a sad smile forming on his face while looking at kai who was struggling with god knows what. 

" what's wrong? was it something i said?" hyungwon asked carefully

" hm? no no, it's ok. the junk is kicking in."  when he gets discharged from the hospital, he needs to start making a whole bunch of new songs, cause he's never gonna be able to sing the old songs again. they're all mixed with every moment of his life spent with the only one he ever loved. the only one who doesn't wanna see him anymore.


	7. Seven

It was late night on Sunday when hyungwon arrived for his shift after having spent a day with yongguk and some friends at the arcade. he was worn out but still had to do his shift in addition to bringing back taehyung to the hospital. himchan was kind enough to let the boy go for a few hours and tae hadn't caused any problem while outside. It was around 2 in the morning when he noticed a sound coming from a room in the basement. someone was playing the piano. he knew where the instrument was. he also knew that the door had been locked for quite some time now. was one of the staff playing?

when he arrived at the doorframe, the room was too dark to recognize the player, but when the clouds moved away, a muscular figure was visible behind the old grand piano, playing and lost in his own world. It was wonho. the melody he was playing was plain sad. like the soul was being tortured nonstop, torn into a billion pieces just to be put back by the softer parts of the melody, before getting torn again. hyungwon moved closer silently, not to interrupt the older guy. he noticed the tears on wonho's cheeks when a spotlight by moonlight was set on him. he recalled wonho smiling in his morning visit on him before he left. he seemed to be in a good mood so what could have changed it during the few hours he was away? suddenly a thought came to the doctor's mind. in the reports of the evening, he read that someone had come to visit wonho despite it not being a visiting day. now he needed to talk about this with the singer. as his doctor. not that he was genuinely worried or curious or anything.

wonho finished playing and then grabbed a notebook from above the piano and turned towards the doorframe when he noticed hyungwon. he didn't react much, just looked at the latter for a mere second. before heading out towards the yard. he opened the notebook and started writing something down. hyungwon just watched him, as the other was focused on what he was doing and not paying any attention to the doctor's gaze on him. after what seemed like 30-40 minutes he threw the notebook away furiously and hid his face in his hands. his breathing pattern unsteady. hyungwon hurried to his side and sat beside him, hugging his shoulders and pressing wonho's head on his chest, stroking his hair.  the action seemed to have calmed the patient down a little as he lowered his hands on his lap and breathed in deeply. " i'm trash, aren't i? i ruined everything. i ruined it all by my own hands and now i can't even write a goddamn song anymore." wonho leaned back from the doctor's embrace and looked at the fountain.

" does it have anything to do with the person who visited you today?" hyungwon asked carefully.

" no? yes? i don't know. i mean, it's not like he can do anything about it." he sighed

" who was he? was he the voice you wanted to get rid of?" hyungwon looked at the other's facial features closely and noticed how his face turned dark and sad at the mention of that.

" you know, i was never really capable of loving someone. i never felt anything special, not even towards my family. but then he came along and i started feeling and doing things i always laughed about when i saw others doing. i never got the point of kissing until it was him i kissed. he loved me unconditionally although i put him through hell by always being away at the times he needed me to be by his side. he was having it rough but not once did he complain about it. and now i wish he had. i wish he would yell at me and punch me and just ... i wish he'd told me how hard it was for him, before..." wonho stopped himself from talking when he couldn't stop his voice shaking from holding back the tears. 

" before what? you can cry wonho, it's ok." 

" he and i, we... we had a company together. well it is his and i just invested in it at the beginning. he had asked my lawyer to buy my shares cuz otherwise i'd have to go to the company meetings every once in a while and he really doesn't want to see me anymore. i told daehyun, my lawyer, to just transfer them without selling, and today..." wonho took a deep breath " today he came here all angry, saying how he didn't need the pitty and made me sign the papers while he transferred the money on the spot cuz i refused to do so via daehyun." 

" but didn't you say he loved you unconditionally? how can he not want to even lay eyes on you now?" hyungwon was confused.

"  it's funny how an incident and a few little changes in a human's body can change everything in just a day." wonho laughed bitterly. 

hyungwon felt like he needed to change the subject, maybe brighten the mood a little. he pointed at the notebook. " were you writing lyrics?" 

" trying to, not writing, that is just complete garbage." 

" mind if i take a look?" 

" go ahead, i don't care." 

hyungwon walked over and picked the notebook up and walked back to his seat. he was amazed by what he was reading. " but this is amazing, with a killing melody this would be a hit song wonho!" 

" it's garbage hyungwon. don't try to flatter me." wonho stood up and disappeared behind the doors to the hallway. hyungwon sat there reading the lyrics again 

 

_Break up, after it, when we go to the place from that day_

_will you be looking at me?_

_there's no way, there's no way_

_i_ _know it for sure when_ _i_ _close my eyes_

_it feels like you'll be standing next to me_

_if_ _i_ _stand here a little longer here will_ _i_ _meet you?_

_I'll close my eyes and save my breath a little_

_and without resistance, can_ _i_ _cry a little?_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics mentioned at the end were from ' If Only' by Monsta X. my lovely bunny Wonho had made the song. please listen to it alot. <3


	8. Eight

Kai has called sick to work and himchan knew he wouldn't unless he was on death bed. The only problem was the fact that kai had changed the medic's room password after wonho's incident and now no-one other than him knew it. himchan had called kai several times but the latter hadn't answered. probably dead asleep because of all the painkiller.

Himchan and Hyungwon were standing in front of the medic's room, trying to figure out what the password could be. but they knew if they entered it wrong one more time, it would send out alarms and they didn't want to cause panic for the patients. so they just stood there hopeless. that was until hyungwon saw wonho coming down the stairs. he looked like he had just woken up, hair messy and face pouty. hyungwon's face lit up and he ran toward wonho and dragged a confused sleepy boy to the medic's room.

" woah hyungwon, it's too early for a marathon." wonho said trying to free his hand from the doctor's.

" wonho, open this door" hyungwon said straight forward. wonho was literally confused at this point. " huh?!" 

" you opened it last time, you opened the room to the grand piano, i know you can." 

" i know i can too, it's actually a piece of cake but why? is it some kind of a test? i swear i hadn't stolen anything!" wonho was gesturing with his hands, a littld because he thought he was in trouble for something he hadn't done.

" wonho, kai is the only one with the pass and he isn't here today. that's why we're asking you to open it. we have a full hospital to feed with medications. would you do it please?" himchan explained calmly, actually curious to see the process.

" wait here, i'll be back." wonho ran upstairs and came back with his phone and a cable. he attached it to the digital lock and entered lines upon lines on his phone terminal. and then within 2 minutes the door was open. he detached the cable, rubbing his eyes " can i go now?" 

both doctors had their jaws dropped to the ground. who was wonho? a singer? a hacker? a drug addict? just who is this guy?

wonho looked at the two men in front of him who were just looking at him like he was some kind of a new discovery or a freak show. he rolled his eyes and walked away.

 

 

" when did he go to the grand piano room?" himchan asked hyungwon when they were back at his office.

" three-four nights ago? when was sunday? he went there sunday night." 

" and you didn't tell me about it because?" himchan was questioning him

" i'm sorry doctor, i forgot. with yongguk gone, lili is spending all day in her room and even refuses to talk more than 5 words. my mind has been pretty occupied." 

" hyungwon i know how you feel about her but you're a doctor. you have many responsibilities. one of them being wonho. the guy hadn't made any major progress since he came here except for not using drugs. he has to go back soon. he is a celebrity. we can't keep him here for too long. now tell me all that happened. and later on, file a report as well." 

hyungwon nodded and did as he was asked. he told himchan about all the things wonho had told him. not really making any sense cause he couldn't connect the dots. when he was done, himchan hummed and appeared to be deep in thought.

" do you still have the notebook?" 

" no. i put it back on his bed the next day."  himchan nodded. " ok. we're gonna have to make him open up to us. i'll call him here later. that's all for now. go check on your patients." 

 

 

hyungwon didn't expect to see that scene when he walked inside lili's room. there she was, lying on her bed with her upper body leaned over the headboard. and with wonho next to her. they were watching something on her laptop through headphones and both smiling from ear to ear.

lili was the first one to notice hyungwon's presence. " oh wonnie, have you seen this hottie performing? he's really good." wonho looked at him and he noticed he had never seen wonho smiling that brightly. not to mention it's been a long time since he'd seen lili as happy as now. these two were feeling at ease in eachother's company and that was something very unique for the both of them. he knew lili, how she hides and locks herself up not to be around other people, refusing to make new friends. and in wonho's case, he'd noticed the latter would put distance between himself and others although he hangs out in the yard and other places filled with people.

" no, no performances. i've just listened to some of his songs." he replied. wonho's eyes widened  " you've listened to my songs? which ones?" 

" yeah well i had to see what your voice sounds like singing. i was dying outta curiosity." he made his way towards the bed. " i don't remember all of the titles as i listened to a lot of them at once and haven't had the time to listen again but there was this one song that i really loved and i've actually been listening to on a daily basis." wonho's eyebrows were lifted up and his lips were pouty, his facial feature showing he wanted to know the song the doctor was talking about. cute.

" from zero. that song really relaxes me. i love your voice by the way." 

wonho frowned and turned his head towards the screen. " thank you" he'd said it in such a low voice that if hyungwon weren't close enough he would've missed it.

" can i watch with you guys? i'm on a break." 

" sure, climb up the bed turtle." lili teased him. hyungwon crawled up beside wonho and watched as the guy performed a very lit song. the more he watched the more he was amazed. wonho was a great dancer. and how the hell can he sing while moving around so much? after three or four songs he finally looked over to the latter to say something but forgot as soon as he saw lili's head resting on wonho's shoulder. he coughed and stood up, telling them he has to go back to his shift. hyungwon didn't really know how he felt about the two getting close to eachother. but he couldn't really do anything about it. he just had to wait and see. but there was some annoying noise at the back of his head. he didn't know what it was about. he just knew that he felt uneasy. 


	9. Nine

_' and then_ _i_ _found myself at that place again with the person inside me who wanted to tear through my skin and free itself._ _i_ _haven't figured out if it's a he or she but whatever it is, it's not satisfied with being locked inside my body, or mind? you know how everyone has a name, an ID and some family members?_ _i_ _have them too but_ _i_ _don't feel like any of them are mine._ _i_ _don't feel at home living with people_ _i_ _grew up with,_ _i_ _don't get the point of all the labels, being a country name, religion title or other stuff that_ _are_ _printed on my ID, and_ _i_ _most definitely don't feel like my name is actually mine. during one of my breakdowns,_ _i_ _told my parents_ _i_ _felt alone, that_ _i_ _didn't belong and they just didn't get it._ _no-ne_ _does. am_ _i_ _really crazy? uh..._ _i_ _don't know anything anymore._ _i'm_ _not even sure if_ _i'm_ _really alive or_ _i_ _died some four years ago and it's all been a punishment of the suicide? is there really a punishment though? isn't living in this world enough misery?_ _i_ _guess we'll never until we die the final death.'_

 

wonho looked at his watch. it was around 4AM again. he was getting ready to go back to his room when he saw Lili coming. she sat beside him and looked briefly at the book in his hands. she took a deep breath and closed her eyes shortly. " the weather is starting to get cold. i like it. it's refreshing." she said with a smile.

" it's freezing and makes your mouth and nose dry!" wonho disagreed. lili giggled.

" that's the complicity of the human's nature or as they call it the 'beauty' of it."

" you don't think it's nice to be different?" 

" everybody loves being different. like you. you have that unique hair color because you wanna be different. am i wrong?"

" then that implies to you as well." wonho pointed at Lili's hair.

" of course it does. i hate being like the brainless. i'm not sure what or who i am but... i just have to change the things i'm able to change. otherwise i'll lose my mind." 

" how can you not know who you are? everybody and everything has a status to itself. " 

" there are no certain facts in this world. there's just examined statements. this or that, truth or lie, you can never truly tell. you can never be a hundred percent sure." 

wonho tried to repeat her words in his mind to try and catch up. he understood what she was saying but sometimes it was hard to imply it to himself. like now. he thinks he's always known who he was and what he wanted and therefore went for it until he achieved his goal.

" Lili, why are you here? you're a very intelligent person." 

" i'm not intelligent. i don't know anything about anything. i just tend to think, well 'overthink' as himchan and other doctors put it. i just don't get the point of the world running as it does and that's why i'm here." 

" overthinking?! then two third of the population should be in the psychiatric hospital!" Lili laughed. 

" they should! but most of the people think so highly of life that they don't want to waste their precious lifetime in a place like this. you know i asked to be here. wanna know something funny?" wonho nodded.

" my last psychologist put a schizophrenia label on me. said it could only be that because i told him about how i think the world should be. when i came here, they said it was just severe depression mainly caused by my own dna or something. my body wasn't my friend from the very start." she laughed bitterly.

" huh? dna is able to carry depression genes?!" wonho was surprised to hear it.

" don't know. didn't care enough to look it up." lili shrugged. wonho looked at her. she was really beautiful and unique. inside and out. he wondered if she knew how beautiful she was. if anyone had ever told her that.

" lili, have you ever been in love?" she seemed to be surprised by his sudden question.

" yeah, i love my dog, i love yongguk and hyungwon. i'm even starting to love you." 

wonho wasn't sure if she knew what he really meant. but then he understood he had been looking at her weridly and she laughed out loud.

" no wonho, i haven't loved anyone like that because i don't even love myself." lili stood up, stretched her limbs and took another deep breath before turning the other way. after a few steps she turned to wonho again.

"by the way you're wasting your time on that book." she said

" why? the author has a very unique way of thinking. i like it." 

" the author is a mess and doesn't even know what's what herself." 

" and how do you know that?"

" because i'm the author. and take it from me when i tell you to throw that into the garbage can." 

 

 

wonho had been thinking about what lili said the whole day. yongguk and him had both kissed her. there is clearly more than just kissing going on between her and yongguk. and then she mentioned hyungwon. had they kissed too? he didn't know why it was somehow important to him in the first place. he was playing with his food, not really eating anything when a tray of food was put in front of him on the other side of the small table. he looked up and it was the doctor in all his glory. his hair had grown longer while wonho had been there and it gave him a softer look.

" what are you thinking so deeply about genius?" hyungwon asked him with a smile on his face. wonho raised an eyebrow not being sure if it was an insult.

" i'm not sure how i should feel about the nickname." 

" you're a genius. what's there to not be sure about?" 

" eh,,,  whatever."  wonho knew himself that he had achieved more things in the short years he has lived than many other people. if that implied of him being a 'genius' then so be it. but he wasn't gonna be cocky about it.

" so? wanna share your thought?" hyungwon insisted

" did you just come here to get information outta me pretty boy?" 

" oh my god, was it THAT obvious?" hyungwon overreacted, putting one of his hands on his chest and the other on his cheek. wonho giggled smiled at the doctor's crackhead attitude.

" hyungwon, can i ask you something personal?" 

" hm, go on." he replied while chewing on a piece of meat.

" what's your relationship with Lili?" hyungwon seemed taken aback by the question but tried to act nonchalant.

" why do you ask?" 

" just curious. she has mentioned you a few times and you came to her room that time... and.... forget it. i'm just being nosy." wonho shook his hands to show he didn't need to answer.

" she's my sister." hyungwon replied looking at his food tray and still chewing.

" huh? but she's.." 

" white? i know. she was adopted." hyungwon cut him off.

" oh..." wonho felt at wrong for asking in the first place.

" it's ok. it's better to not bring this up in front of her though."

" i won't. promise." hyungwon nodded. wonho looked at him while he separated all the vegetables from his food.

" what kind of a doctor doesn't eat vegetables seriously?" wonho asked teasingly.

" the kind that hates the mentioned species with all his gut?" wonho couldn't help but laugh at the disgusted look on hyungwon's face.

" you're like minhyuk. he would kill you if you even mentioned the word ' cucumber' in front of him." he said without realizing himself.

" minhyuk? well he is a very intellectual being then." 

" he is."  wonho gulped down a glass of water and started stuffing his mouth with food.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... i mean i couldn't NOT mention the love(hate) minmin has for cucumbers! forgive me for i have sinned :p


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola amigos! this chapter has some song refrences in it. so for better imagination of the script, listen to the songs beforehand. i hope you enjoy them <3
> 
> SVRCINA - Meet Me On The Battlefield
> 
> Luca Fogale - I Don't Want to Lose You

 

 

 

_' I was friends with that piano at the back of the house everyone seemed to have forgotten about. I can't play more than a few chords, you can't really call it playing but it was nice to be a creator. but then they sold the piano and_ _i_ _became lonely again. they sold my only friend. why would they do that? though you can't blame them,_ _i_ _told them to._ _i_ _hated that thing. '_

" you can play piano? you never told me that!" wonho stopped reading and looked at Lili approaching him.  
" but i believe i told you to throw that book away." she was about to sit down when wonho grabbed her hand and dragged her with him.

" where are you taking me?" 

" you're gonna play for me." 

" there are no pianos here wonho!"

" yes there is." they arrived at the room with the grand piano. wonho entered the password he had memorized from the few times he had come while never letting go of Lili's hand, afraid she'd escape.

he made her sit behind the instrument and pointed at the keys. " play." he paused for a second then added " please." 

" wonho! if you read that page,you should know very well i can't play that much."

" play what you can then. it's not like i'm Lang Lang. come on." Lili sighed. she knew once wonho set his mind on something, there was no escaping it.

" ok. to protect my non-existent pride, i'm gonna play you something, kind of a song i wrote back then. but it's not good so don't get your hopes up." wonho smiled wide and nodded. waiting for lili to start and when she did, her fingers flew so smoothly on the keys and then she started singing. wonho knew her voice was a sweet tone but it was nothing compared to how she sounded when singing. her voice was like vanilla, warming your heart. at first he didn't pay much attention to the lyrics because he was mesmerized by the performance itself but then slowly the lyrics caught up to him.

 

 _' We're standing face-to-face_  
With our own human race  
We commit the sins again and our sons and daughters pay  
Our tainted history  
Is playing on repeat  
But we could change it if we stand up strong and take the lead  
  
When I was younger, I was named  
A generation unafraid  
For the heirs to come, be brave  
  
And meet me on the battlefield  
Even on the darkest night  
I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage  
And you will be mine  
Echoes of the shots ring out  
We may be the first to fall  
Everything can stay the same or we could change it all  
Meet me on the battlefield ' 

 

wonho was left completely speechless. literally. Lili had left the room after playing. her voice and the melody was still replaying again and again in his head. he knew it was already too late to catch up to her so he just gave up and sat behind the piano himself. he just played freestyle for a while and to his surprise, Lili came back. with two glasses in her hands. she handed one to wonho. it was hot chocolate. he raised an eyebrow to Lili as to why she was handing him beverage all of a sudden.

" i needed some chocolate in me to cool my nerves down. don't judge." she said while taking a sip.

" not judging."

" your turn. play something." 

wonho smiled and put his mug down on top of the piano. he then started playing something, an old melody that he never wrote down. and then some lyrics came to his mind. he decided to sing them. it was only fair to sing back.

 

 _' there's a darkness in the way you sing_  
And something curious in how you walk as if you got a broken wing  
That makes me wanna help you find a way to throw your shadow  
We can even sing songs about your past loves at my piano  
Cause I don't wanna lose you now, or ever  
No, I don't wanna lose you now, or- ' 

 

wonho didn't get the chance to sing for long, just a few lines before someone interrupted their moment. kai. that heartless nurse. ( not really heartless, but dude, did you really have to come in THAT moment?) " all your night meetings and piano playing sessions have made other patients annoyed. care to tone it down a little?" 

" it should be a lullaby to them though. just saying." wonho shrugged sassily.

" you're so confident with your voice i see." kai teased him

" i'm so confident with everything about me nini" 

" dafuq is nini supposed to mean?" 

" it's your nickname given to you by me. you should feel so honored right now." wonho smirked at the nurse, loving their little arguments.

" oh how can i ever thank you? come on, time to go back to your rooms." kai said while stretching his hands towards wonho.

" oh but i'm not sleepy yet mom." wonho pouted and slapped kai's hands away." lili doesn't wanna go yet either, right lili?" wonho turned to her when there was no reply. she had her head on her hands, laying on the piano stool, asleep. kai giggled " your partner in crime has betrayed you so harshly, i literally feel bad for you now. let's get her to bed." 

kai gathered the mugs and wonho carried her bridal style to her room. after putting her on her bed, he was too tired to go all the way to his room, knowing of all the stairs he had to climb up and down. he decided to just crash on the couch, he would explain it to lili later, he knew she would be ok.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Eleven

  

{ from left to right: The Bang family( youngguk, natasha, yongnam), zelo, zelo } 

 

 

hyungwon was a bit late today as he spent last night partying with his friends after a very long time. he had a slight headache, he didn't drink much but still, it was enough to get a hangover. as he made his way to the hospital's entrance he saw yongguk getting out of his sister's car. Natasha, youngguk's sister, slid out of her car after noticing hyungwon. she waved yongguk off while holding hyungwon back. when yongguk entered the building, natasha turned to hyungwon.

" wonnie, we should get him out of the hospital. we are in desperate need of his management skills at the company. everything's a mess."

" but noona, he should complete his treatment first or he'll end up the same after a short time . besides, yongnam hyung is back to the company right?" 

" he is but none of us are as good as guk. from what i've seen these past few days, he's doing really good." she felt unsure about what she wanted to say next. " you know, don't get me wrong, but i think he's only staying here for Lili." 

hyungwon lowered his head, looking at his feet " i know." he looked at natasha " i'll talk to dr. himchan and yongguk hyung. i really want him back in the outside world as well."

 

 

hyungwon made his way in his office, changed into his white doctor thing he never understood why he had to wear, cuz he wasn't a surgeon or anything. he was just not in a good mood today you could say. grabbing two cups of coffee he headed to Lili's room only to find yongguk sitting a few meters away from the door on a stair.

" why are you standing here?" hyungwon asked

" did something happen between lili and wonho while i was out?" 

" huh? why do you ask?" 

" go take a look inside." yongguk said and stood up, walking past him and down the stairs. hyungwon followed him leaving with his eyes and then looked at the closed door, not knowing was he was on about. he opened the door with his elbow and looked toward lili's bed. she was lying there peacefully. everything was normal so what gave the idea to yongguk? he turned to the other side to put the mugs down on a table, when his eyes caught a figure sleeping on the couch. wonho. he didn't know what to do. he decided to let them be and left the room, bringing the two mugs with him.

he saw yongguk in the hall in his way back to his office. hyungwon paused beside his hyung and handed him one of the mugs. " they've been hanging out in the yard at nights but i don't think anything else has happened between them. even now he was sleeping on the couch. you know lili would never let anyone get close that much." 

yongguk seemed in though. after a while " yeah but have you seen her opening up so much to someone so soon before? it's like she feels just as comfortable around him as with us." 

yongguk sighed " not that i'm protesting against it. i want her to open up but i don't know the guy, you know? i don't want her to get hurt in any way." 

hyungwon smiled. once again yongguk has shown him the reason why he loved this hyung wholeheartedly.  " i'll keep an eye on them hyung. you need to focus on your own dish right now." hyungwon looked closely at the guy next to him. 

" natasha noona told me they really need you at the company." yongguk hummed.

" how much longer are you planning on staying here? i lied to her saying your treatment isn't over yet but i doubt she bought it. you know you've been here longer than needed." 

" i can't leave her. i'll go insane if anything happens to her again." 

" well you were gone for a week and she pulled through. she needs to get out too and maybe you moving out helps her get the courage as well. you know how attached she is to you." 

yongguk sighed again, this time a deeper one. " i don't know hyungwon. the company is a real mess. yongnam and zelo are doing their best but it's not enough. and then there's me, i'm afraid of facing all the pressure again. what if i screw everything up like the last time? you know i still remember the time zelo called to tell me they have filed a court case against the company and we had to stop the whole product line for a while. it was 4:44 AM and i didn't even know whether it's a dream or reality." yongguk paused shortly. " and then there's you and your sister worrying the shit out of me." 

" what have i done to worry you!!" hyungwon said shocked

" you basically live as a robot who travels between this place and your tiny apartment. do you even talk to anyone who is not under the influence of celexa?" 

" i'm talking to you so that gotta count as something!" hyungwon winked

" uhhh my dear dongsaeng. you'll never find love like this. and life is nothing without love. even if you can't have the person completely to yourself." 

 

 

after knocking two times in a row and hearing the allowance, hyungwon entered himchan's office. 

" oh hyungwon, i was just about to call you in."  himchan smiled at him, hyungwon returned the smile and stood across the table.

" is yongguk back yet?" 

" yeah, he just came back this morning." 

" good. hyungwon, i'm thinking about kicking him out of here. it's been too long and i can't make up excuses for the upper hands anymore. they want free spots for new patients." 

" but we have empty rooms! " 

" we do but you know these people. no matter how much we sincerely care about our patients here, they just want the money. did you know i had to literally fight them to not publish an article about wonho being here?" 

" why would they want to do something like that?!" 

" because the public's attention would be drawn to the hospital! and that means more money for them!" 

hyungwon sighed. he hated the owners of this building.

" Anywho, yongguk is really fine and his treatment has been over for a while now. i think it's only best if he gets out to the outside world again. what do you think?" 

" i think the same. actually i was just talking with him about this. he said he's scared of failing again and well, because of lili." himchan hummed. i'll have a talk with him later. let's hope he agrees easily. he's scary when he doesn't wanna do something."  himchan laughed shortly. 

" oh i almost forgot, would you tell wonho to come to my office at 11 please? someone's coming to meet him." 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't listened to Bang YongGuk's 4:44 AM yet, please do!
> 
> and yes! i put two picz of zelo! cuz he is my favorite maknae in the whole wide world. he is toooo cuuuuuuute UWU


	12. Twelve

  

   

{ Moon JongUp } 

 

wonho looked at his watch and jumped up the bed, remembering hyungwon had told him to go to himchan's at 11. he was late already, too caught up in the board game he was playing with taehyung.

upon arriving at the doctor's office, he knocked and went inside, assuming the doctor wasn't even there yet cuz let's be honest himchan was always late! but to his surprise not only the doctor was there, but so was hyungwon and some other guy he didn't know. he made his way to the armchair and let himself sink into it. he observed the guy from head to toe intensely, pulling his intimidating gaze. tilting his head he asked " and who might you be?" 

" i'm jongup, your new manager." 

" what happened to my old manager?" 

" he got tired of your ass."

" he never got my ass in the first place." wonho winked at this Jongup guy. he was small, but he sure as hell had a scary gaze to him. 

the new manager sighed, going through some papers " i see you are just like i heard."

" what did you hear?" wonho asked enthusiastically

" sure you wanna know?" jongup raised an eyebrow. wonho nodded in response and jongup smirked.

" angled face asshole. that's the nickname they gave you. i'll skip the details as we don't have much time." 

" ouch! " wonho laughed and waited for the guy to continue.

" your last manager was actually fired for not being careful enough." jongup put some pictures in front of him. it was of him in the visiting room of the hospital. wonho picked up one of the photos, suddenly panicking. " have these been published? " 

" Fortunately no. the company took action just in time. i arranged it with dr. kim. you can have visitors in one of the rooms privately from now on. we don't want the public to know you're in a psychiatric hospital." wonho was brushing his hand in his hair continuously and tapping his foot on the ground. himchan was observing it all without interrupting.

jongup gathered the photos, putting them back in the folder. " have you written anything new?"  wonho's body movements stopped altogether. he looked at him for several moments, holding his breath. " wonho?" jongup called his name, making him come back to rality. " hm? i.... i've written some stuff but they're all plain shit."

" can i have a look? " wonho was hesitant but he knew he had no choice but to show them to his new manager. " wait here. i'll go get the notebook." 

" you write on paper? old school!" 

" i love the old days better okay? do you wanna see them or not?" 

" yes." wonho quickly went to his room, found the notebook under a pile of shirts and pants and ran back.

" how out of shape are you to be panting like this after running like 10 meters?" jongup teased him.

" i'm given some shitty ass drugs, or as they call it 'medicine' every single fucking day and those make me sleep most of the time. don't question my body or we won't get along." wonho warned him seriously.

" fine, calm your muscular titties." jongup said and focused on the content of the notebook. erading through the pages concentrated, he looked up straightly at wonho with sparkly eyes. wonho looked at him questionably.

" they told me you're a genius but i didn't expect THIS!" jongup gestured toward the notebook.

" they sure talk a lot of things behind my back!" he sat up in the armchair. " but what are you even talking about? those are not good. at all." 

" shut up they're great. this is a whole ass billboard chart worthy album here." 

wonho rest his head on his palm. " whatever man. you can have it all. it's not like i'll be making any songs anytime soon." he sighed. he missed beign on stage, really.

" what are even on about! you have your laptop right? i'm gonna need you to start working on some songs from now. you're gonna be back at the studio as soon as you're discharged which is in two months." jongup showed him a page " and make sure to come up with a killing melody and harmony for this one. i want this to be on the next album." wonho ripped the notebook out of jongup's hand, angry at the guy as to why he insisted on the shit on these papers being album worthy. jongup looked at him with a soft expression all of a sudden. it was like he was a totally different person now. " wonho, i know you can do this. you're a genius when it comes to music. you're a genius in general actually. i was a fan of yours from the beginning. believe in yourself and let's make a hit album. we will even work on the choreograohies together. " 

" thanks." wonho giggles, starting to like this two-sided guy. " you can dance?" 

" i was a dancer for many years. went by the name moon yeup." wonho's eyes widened in shock.

" hold the fuck up!" he almost shouted. " you are moon yeup? THE MOON YEUP? how? why?" 

jongup laughed shyly " yeah.... long story. so anyway get to work okay? i have to go now." jongup shook wonho's hand while the latter was still obviously in shock, then thanked the two doctors and left. wonho didn't move from his seat. hyungwon came and sat across him where jongup was seated.

" how can that legend end up being a manager though?" hyungwon asked wonho who was taken aback yet once again

" you know him?" 

" of course i know him! he is mr.moon! the greatest B-Boy of his time." wonho wanted to say something but didn't. he just picked the notebook up and ran outside the office. he needed to get to his laptop ASAP. Moon Yeup was now his manager and he did not intend to let this guy down. not in a million years. he was one of the dancers wonho always looked up to and even covered so many choreos of. now he felt stupid because of not realizing it was him.

 

 

in the office, himchan only said one sentence to hyungwon about this whole situation, that " our celebrity friend really loves his job." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some music recommendation no-one asked for: 
> 
> Zelo-no title
> 
> Son Hyunwoo-Now i know
> 
> B.A.P-Coma
> 
> Monsta X-Lost in a dream


	13. Thirteen

 

It's been two weeks since Moon jongup had visited and since then wonho had shown a rollercoaster of emotions. he would lock himself in the piano room ( which he got permission from himchan properly this time), he would throw everything around once he's not satisfied, he would finish a beat, listen to it a few times and then delete the whole thing cause he just didn't like it. he would fall asleep behind the piano or just let the tears roll down his eyes quietly while leaning his head against it. and hyungwon knew these because kai and himself checked on the latter on a regular basis. with the arrival of a couple of new patients, everyone especially the nurses had more to do and that left hyungwon to do the most check-ups on the singer. sometimes wonho would ask for his opinion on some parts, sometimes he would just enjoy a good cup of coffee with him. he wasn't sure if this was a healthy attitude. wonho seemed to be enjoying what he was doing but the number of mood swings was definitely not on a healthy rate.

wonho would still go to the yard and have his midnight conversations with lili, he played her too many piano-based songs already, making her sing along. at first, she refused but then she began singing along on her own when he played a song she knew.

himchan had talked with yongguk and he had agreed to finally get discharged after seeing lili being comfortable around wonho. he knew she wouldn't lock herself in her room as long as the blond and blue haired guy was here. lili had hugged him for a good twenty minutes, refusing to let go and then she suddenly did, running to her room and not coming out. yongguk didn't wanna leave her. he wanted to stay or to take her with him but he knew he couldn't do either. the company needed him desperately so he had no choice. his other concern was taehyung. he had grown to care so much for this boy that he didn't want to even think about not being there for him when another breakdown hit him again. he had repeated so many times to kai and hyungwon to always keep their eyes on tae.

 

It was 10 AM when wonho opened his eyes. few sun rays coming through the small window of the room in the basement were shining on a face right next to his. they had fallen asleep like that, with their heads on the piano fallboard after talking for a long time. wonho always enjoyed listening to lili's opinions and what she thought about various aspects of life. she told him how she wanted to be a singer herself, loving the stage but she couldn't because she was too afraid of the crowd and the mass of people that had to be around backstage. wonho thought she would make a great singer and people would fall in love with her voice. that's why he had tried to convince her to sing a very short part for one of his songs but she refused. she was beautiful, even while sleeping and that's why wonho had been staring at her for a long time and only had to break the gaze when the door opened. wonho sat up quickly, bringing his index finger to his lip, showing whoever it was to remain quiet. it was the handsome brother, hyungwon and his hair wasn't the same. it was P!Nk. wonho's eyes widened as he stood up from the stool and walked over to the tall guy. looking at his hair and then on his big eyes that now stood up more he smiled sheepishly " are you going for a Natsu look?" 

" honestly i'm glad you said natsu instead of Sakura." hyungwon whispered, smiling slightly.

" what's wrong with Sakura?"

" i never liked that girl. she always just stood there and cried for sasuke, it was stupid." wonho giggled, enjoying the anime referenced conversation.

" lili should dye her hair scarlet so you could be natsu and erza."

" if you extended the blue to the rest of your hair, then we could be natsu and jellal." hyungwon replied leaning against the wall, pointing at wonho's hair.

" i'd much rather remove the blue and be a white-haired kaneki." wonho smiled wide and hyungwon giggled.

 

{ a pink haired HyungWon } 

 

wonho got startled when he heard lili laughing quietly. he turned around to see her having her head on her palm, elbow resting on the piano and looking at them. " what are you two even talking about this early in the morning?" she said while laughing. wonho felt guilty for waking her up.

" how long have you been awake?" wonho asked while walking toward her. standing right infront of her. lili had to look up to see his face " since you got mesmerized enough by my brother's hair color to stand up and walked to him."  " well the pink really suits his face, what do you expect?" wonho looked over his shoulder at the doctor and he noticed a slight blush on his cheeks.

" come on you two, it's time for breakfast." hyungwon said and left the room.

wonho and lili looked at eachother and laughed out loud for no reason at all.

 

 

wonho was going through his suitcase, there was some clothing that he hadn't bothered unpacking when he first got here. he searched through various pieces, wondering why he had brought so many clothes in the first place until he found what he was looking for. " found it" he whispered to himself and looked behind his back at hyungwon who was arguing about some irrelevant thing with taehyung. he walked over to him and tunred the tall guy to face himself. he started putting the scarf he had in his hands around hyungwon's neck. " there. now you are really a Natsu." he looked at the pink haired guy, enjoying what he was seeing.

" why did you even have a natsu style scarf with you here?" hyungwon's eyes widened loosening the scarf around his neck and looking at it.

" i have no idea." wonho laughed. " you can continue with your conversation now." he was about to leave when hyungwon grabbed his wrist, stopping him on his track.   
" could you help me convince taehyung that chickens don't have tails?" hyungwon plead. wonho looked back and forth between a very sulky tae and a desperate hyungwon.

" hyuuuung, roosters have tails so the chickens should have it too. they are like nephews or something." taehyung whined bouncing on his bed. wonho got surprised by the very intelligent reason tae had come up with. wonho looked at hyungwon " i mean roosters do have tails so... why not just agree on the fact that they do indeed have tails?" hyungwon gave up and sighed deeply. wonho smiled at him, patted his hand and left the room.

 

 

wonho had been tiptoeing around this one lyric both hyungwon and jongup said was so good. he had a melody in his mind but he just didn't like the idea of actually making it. it was too personal, more than his other songs and he couldn't imagine himself singing it on stage. he knew he would break into tears if he tried to do so. but he decided to just give it a go. just to show both of them he was right and the lyrics was indeed trash. he practically lived in the piano room for 5 days before finishing the whole song and recording it by his headphones.

he sat back and decided to listen to it now that it was done. he didn't understand the concept of time or his surroundings as soon as the song started playing. all the memories he had and all the feelings he had put in the lyrics came rushing back at him and he started crying hard without realizing. when the song finished he ripped the headphones out of his ears and threw the phone to the other side of the room. it hit the wall and made a crashing sound. he put his head on his palms and cried hard, not really able to stop himself. soon it was like his throat had been blocked and he wasn't able to get any air inside. he was completely out of it, trying hard to get at least a little air in. the struggle made him fall down on his knees, bending in half while grabbing his shirt on his chest, inhaling roughly and still crying. he heard fast footsteps reaching him. the figure sat in front of him and grabbed his face, making him look up. his lips moved but he couldn't hear anything. he didn't even know who this person was. someone else ran toward him, straightening his hand and injecting him with something and soon he was out. endless darkness surrounding him.

when he opened his eyes again, he didn't know what had happened and why his hands and legs were tied to the bed. he wasn't even in his room. a nurse noticed he was awake, told him to lie still while she got the doctor. he finished the song, he copied the mp3 format to his phone, he started listening to the song and then what? he didn't remember anything. few minutes later himchan and hyungwon came.

" how are you feeling?" himchan asked with a folder in his hand

" why am i tied up?" himchan frowned. 

" you had a severe breakdown. do you remember anything?" 

" no. can you open these please? i'm in desperate need to move my limbs." wonho tried to move his hand to prove his point. himchan gestured to hyungwon toward the ties and the tall doctor started to open the ties.

" have this ever happened before?" himchan asked again

" what? i don't even know what happened. i was listening to this song and the next thing i know im tied up to a bed bdsm style." wonho was getting annoyed by all the questions.

" then let me explain it to you. when kai and hyungwon found you, you were having a panic attack, not being able to breathe. they injected you to calm you down. but then you seemed to have a terrible nightmare, shaking harshly and when they succeeded in waking you up, you became aggressive. shouting and throwing yourself around. that's when they had to inject you with haloperidol and that's what we rarely use on patients here." 

wonho's face lost it's color. had he really done all of that?

himchan started talking again " wonho, i think it's time for you to open up at last. something's eating you up and you need to tell us so we can help you." 

wonho kept quiet for a while, frowning and looking down at his hands. " and i think you should go screw yourself." he looked around the room, avoiding the doctors' eyes. " can i go to my room now?" himchan sighed deeply and said yes. wonho walked fast, not looking anywhere but at his feet. when he reached his room he went straight to taehyung who was lying on his bed, hugged the boy from behind, resting his head on tae's shoulder and closed his eyes, falling asleep soon after. 


	14. Fourteen

{ Lee MinHyuk } 

 

( 8 years ago )

Wonho woke up by the sound of his alarm. he cursed when he realized he had snoozed it during his sleep and ran towards the bathroom, quickly taking a shower and getting ready. it was the day. his first day working at the big IT company as a programmer. he had just moved to this city a few days ago after receiving a job offer he couldn't believe was real at first. sure he was into programming from a very young age and won competitions several times but still, this was a big step. he never felt attached to anyone or anything so leaving all he was familiar with wasn't a big deal to him. well, the fact that his best friend Jooheon was coming with him to the new city, finding a job there himself, was actually very comforting. they got a house together. it wasn't big but it was enough for them. upon seeing his friend running back and forth in the apartment, jooheon started laughing " late for the first day of work shin?" 

" why didn't you wake me up evil dimples?" wonho shouted while fixing his tie. finally getting ready he got his motorcycle's keys, waved at jooheon and left the house.

jooheon walked around, picking the pieces of clothing wonho had spread all over in the past 10 minutes, putting them neatly on his bed. he was younger but there were times when he felt like his best friend was a little kid. just like now, leaving a path behind himself on the whole floor. he chuckled to himself. knowing that his friend would be home before him, he wrote a note and pinned it to the mirror in the hallway. ' gym 10 PM , i made the drinks, don't forget to bring them. ' 

 

wonho got to the company just on time by riding as fast as he could. he had been told to not wear very formal and just be casual but he was a fashionista thoroughly and couldn't help trying to match everything with everything. just now, he was wearing a black silk shirt with black ripped jeans and a scarlet tie under his buttoned down shirt. walking in, he felt the eyes of people on him. was it because he was new or was it because he literally overdressed judging by how freaking casual other people's outfits were. nevertheless, he walked to the elevator. finally getting to his floor, he went to his supervisor's office and then walked to the desk that was now his. putting his stuff down, he sank in the chair, looking into the project he was assigned to immediately. he was 19 and he got this perfect job with the perfect salary, you couldn't really blame him for being this excited. he was deeply concentrated when someone knocked on his desk, making him look up from the monitor. he was met with a white-haired boy with a bright smile on his face. ironically enough, as soon as he looked up the sun decided to shine with full force from the window walls behind the said guy and wonho had to close his eyes for a split second to be able to focus on the latter. moving his chair a little to get the sun rays out of his eyes, he looked at the angel-faced boy in front of him. literally though. he had white hair, he had this huge smile. just like an angel's. but then wonho called everyone angel who had a nice smile so you shouldn't really rely on his preference.

" you are hot. i'm Lee Minhyuk. we'll be working on this project together." the said guy stretched his hand towards him. wonho shook his hand, returning the smile with his own " i'm shin wonho. and you too."   " me too?"   " you are hot too." they both laughed. minhyuk grabbed a chair and sat next to him, facing the monitor. 

" this project is a quite big and sensitive one. i don't know if they had told you yet but we need to finish it by the end of the month. so you won't really have time to adapt to the environment first." he chuckled and looked downwards to what wonho could only think was his thighs?! this guy was staring at his thighs!  before he could do anything minhyuk pointed at the said thighs " are you really comfortable in those jeans? they look really illegally tight!"  wonho chuckled, a little uneasy by all the staring, " i've worn these kinds of outfits my whole life, they're practically like my own skin to me." minhyuk tilted his head at him with a small smile on his face. then he suddenly stood up tapping his own thighs " well then chop chop, we have a lot to do. i'll send you a list of what each of us will have to do." 

" you could just tell me now. i have a good memory." 

" yeah but where's the fun in that?" minhyuk said and sat behind his own desk which was like 3 meters away from his. they worked all day. he didn't really know how late it was before his phone started ringing and a very angry jooheon yelled at him telling him where the hell he was.

" YAH! i told you to be here at 10 wonho. where the fuck are you?" 

" what? no you didn't. i'm at the company." 

" STILL? do you know what time it is? it's 10:30 ! are you gonna work that late from day 1? did you forget our practice? are you leaving me behind shin wonho?" 

" woah woah joo chill my man. i'm gonna leave now. i'm gonna head straight to the gym.i'll be there in 5. love you."

" yeah yeah whatever. get your ass here fast." he hung up.

minhyuk was looking at him " how do you even have the energy to go to the gym at this hour?" he laughed

" well i have to. my friend and i have to practice." 

" practice? like martial arts and stuff?" 

" no. choreographies. we are dancers." wonho said while picking up his stuff. minhyuk stopped him by grabbing his bicep. " hold on, you dance? how good are you though? me and my friends need two dancers to complete our crew but so far we haven't found anyone good enough." 

" YOU dance too?" wonho looked at minhyuk from head to toe. this guy didn't look like a dancer at all. 

" should i be offended?" minhyuk frowned a bit .

" no, god no, i'm sorry, you're just too baby faced so i have difficulty imagining you in dope facial expressions and stuff." 

" well,,, can i come with you? see how you dance and all? i'll tell you all about my crew and maybe we can hook up?" wonho laughed slightly at the boy's choice of word. " sure, let's go." 

 


	15. Fifteen

   

 

{ from left to right: Shownu, Changkyun, Kihyun }

 

" look what i found, a giant bunny plushie. it looks like you. i'm gonna buy it. " 

" what do you even want a plushie for?" wonho asked while laughing at the enthusiastic person in front of him.

" someone has to keep me company while you're gone." he frowned but then hid it behind another wide smile " i'm gonna name it wontokki." wonho felt his heart was in someone's fist, getting smashed. it hurt so much but there was nothing he could do about it.

 

he was currently staring at a little girl's rabbit toy in the hallway. he didn't even know what that little girl was doing there in the middle of a mental hospital. just yesterday someone had attempted to kill a ghost with a knife. A KNIFE. i mean salt would be a better choice but knife!!!! wonho sighed to himself. just because of some addiction he had to be here. well it wasn't 'just' for addiction. he did have awful nightmares and breakdowns and he did attempt to end everything although he told everyone he just miscalculated and they somehow believed it but still he felt like he didn't need to be kept in here. he wanted to dance, wanted to be in his studio, eat ramen there and sleep on his favorite couch in the corner. the one he bought for wonho. " if you don't have enough time to drive home, at least you should have something decent to sleep on instead of that neck breaking chair."  he had said. he should have made the time. it didn't matter if he had to postpone the release date of his album, making millions of fans angry, he just should have made the time for him.

 

he hadn't been able to see Lili for days now, hyungwon said she had a breakdown and she didn't want to see anyone. well, except for yongguk apparently. he had visited a couple of times and spent a few hours with lili in her room. so the night conversations were non-existent unless hyungwon was on a shift. wonho had grown quite fond of the young doctor. they would talk about this and that but he always loves it when hyungwon tells him memories of when he was a kid. one time wonho had asked about how long do they know eachother? yongguk and the siblings. hyungwon said from childhood, they had been neighbors from the very beginning. he said yongguk took care of them like a big brother and then fell in love with lili from a very young age.

a tap on his shoulder ripped him out of his thoughts. " come on, you have visitors waiting for you in hyungwon's office." kai said. wonho nodded and smiled in response and made his way to the room.

upon opening the room he was met with his little brother changkyun and his two friends kihyun and shownu. they all hugged him one after the other. asking him how he is.

" so? i heard you're working on some songs. that moon jongup is really something else for making you work even in here." shownu said.

" aah yeah, he can be quite intimidating but OH my god! i could never complain as far as i get to keep him as my manager!" wonho was excited like a kid, smiling stupidly wide. his friends laughed at him so hard.

" have you finished anything so far? can we listen? " kihyun asked. wonho hesitated.

" ... not really. i'm working on a few songs but they're all super emotional and sad, and definitely not good enough to have an audience." he added " yet." 

" oooooooh, sassy wonho back at it again. i live for the confidence you have in your music making." kihyun teased him. they all became quiet for a long moment. wonho was playing with his fingers, looking down all of a sudden. " have you talked to him recently? " he asked to no-one in particular

shownu was the one who answered carefully " of course we have, we are his friends too..." wonho nodded in understanding.

" how is he? i mean... has he recovered completely? " he asked raising his head looking back and forth to his two friends.

" he is fine wonho. shouldn't you be more worried about yourself? i mean look where they're keeping you!" kihyun frowned at him. " it's time to move on. you know it pains me so much, having to see my good friends being apart but it's just how it is. you should just accept it and move the fuck on." 

wonho didn't reply. dead silent. then he mumbled " it was all my fault." no-one heard or if they did, they didn't react. to freshen the mood, he faced his brother who had been quiet the whole time " why so quiet kyunnie? bad grades got you down again?" he tried to cheer up his little bro but he only frowned at him.

" do you know how it is at home? mom doesn't eat much. dad has to comfort her. and i can't focus on my studies cuz all i think about is what if some maniac tried to kill you in your sleep with a knife or something." upon hearing the last sentence wonho burst out laughing. holding his stomach he managed to let some words ut between all the laughing " this place is not as bad as ya'll think." trying to sit straight again and not laugh anymore he said " it's funny you mentioned the knife cuz someone DID try to kill some invisible ghost by a knife today but it's mostly a quiet place in here. i mean the rooms are on the second floor and the crazy doesn't go up till there. the very ill ones are kept in the first floor so you guys really don't have to worry about anything. tell the parents that too." 

" the parents? you mean YOUR parents? " changkyun snapped at him. wonho just looked at him. " so what? then i must be 'the brother' as well instead of your brother, ha?" 

" kyunnie, don't do this. you know i love you." he tried to grab kyun's hand but he just didn't let him.

" no i don't! no-one knows cuz you're always busy doing your thing. first it was the obsession with programming and dancing. then it became dancing to an unhealthy level. and then when we thought you're finally done, you said you wanted to be a singer and locked yourself in the studio. what did mom ever do to you to make you want to be away from home all the time?" wonho wasn't surprised at his brother's outburst, he had experienced it before. people yelling at him to be around more was what he was used to. he inhaled harshly.

" so if i studied something for atleast four years to get a stupid 9 to 5 job at some office and then went back home after having achieved nothing would all of you be happy? i need to be productive. i get tired of doing the same thing, i'm sorry but i only get to live once, i won't live by other people's rules." 

" family wanting you to spend some time with them is not a rule, asshole. it's an expectation. " 

" that's why i always tell you to not have those. expectations can only hurt you in the end." 

" like you hurt him in the end?" changkyun said and wonho froze. not able to move and gaze fixed only at his brother. he didn't know whether to be sad or angry or did he even have the right to feel those?

" changkyun! i told you not to come if you wanted to pick a fight." shownu's voice was strict.

" i'm not saying anything untrue hyung. it's all facts." 

" enough! go wait in the car." shownu threw him his car keys and gestured him to leave. changkyun looked at his brother for a moment, huffed and then left. wonho couldn't help the lump in his throat. 

" don't listen to him. he's still a kid." shownu said

" is he right tho? " wonho looked at his friends with pleading eyes. " is wanting to live a full life that wrong? i did all i could, well maybe not all, but i did everything i could think of for him. i know it wasn't enough but... " he couldn't continue anymore. he just hung his head low.

" hyung, not every relationship is meant to last. it doesn't matter how many years two people are together, when it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be. that's why i'm telling you to move on already." kihyun tried to calm him. " and if it helps, he's already seeing someone." wonho raised his head in the speed of light. his eyes wide and not believing what he heard. " who? " was the only thing he could say. " who the fuck is he seeing?" he was yelling to get some answers.

" woah, chill. i forgot his name cuz he only saw him like twice but he is from the analysis department of the company." wonho hid his face in his hands and whined. kihyun's phone rang and he went out of the room to answer it. a moment later hyungwon came in. " is everything ok? i heard shouting." 

" just peachy." wonho mumbled in his palms.

" shownu hyung? what are the odds? how are you?" hyungwon sounded so excited. wonho raised his head from his palms and looked at the two hugging figures with their smily faces.

" you two know eachother?" 

" yeah! he was my dance teacher in school." hyungwon replied

" you DANCE?! why the fuck haven't i been told? " wonho felt attacked.

" it just never came up. why being so salty about it!" hyungwon just asnwered nonchalantly. wonho groaned in annoyance and just hid his face his palms again.

" how have you been wonnie? i didn't believe it when they said you quit the school." 

" yeah... i had a change of heart." 

" your passion was nothing that could change that easily though." shownu paused. " so you're a psycologist now? who would've thought!" 

" yeah well! " hyungwon gestured towards his white gown.

" out of the legendary trio, only one of you continued the path. the other brat followed that caved voice dude's tail in his company as well. do you guys hang out still?" shownu asked

" who ? zelo ? " hyungwon laughed out. " if you're talking about zelo, then yes, we do hang out. but if you're talking about hoseok, no. i haven't really heard from him. i just come upon his videos from time to time." shownu hummed but before he could say anything kihyun hurried back in the room . " we should go. there's a problem in the school and they need you there." shownu nodded and put his hand on wonho's shoulder, squeezing a bit. " don't let kyun's words get to you and get well soon. we miss you out there going wild stripping on stage." wonho chuckled. hugging them goodbye, he sat back down looking at the doctor who was walking to his desk. catching the older's stare, hyungwon raised his eyebrow " what? " he asked calmly. 

" why didn't you tell me you're a dancer?" 

" i just told you, it never came up." hyungwon was going through some papers, looking for something.

" don't try to turn me around the subject hyungwon! we talked about my dance moves many times so it did come up."

hyungwon didn't answer, just kept looking for some unknown object. wonho looked at him closely. the doctor was uncomfortable and it was written all over his face. he stood up from his seat and made his way to the doctor's desk. grabbing his hand with his, he put the index finger of his free hand under hyungwon's chin, making him look up he said " it's ok. you don't have to abuse your hands going through all these papers just to escape answering." they kept staring for a few more seconds when wonho let go of him and stretched his arms above his head, " aaaah i'm so tired. i'll go sleep now. i hope my pillow taehyung will be there." he giggled and left the room without looking back. something felt weird. 

 

 

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:  ok but have you seen how adorable hyung line are together? the UWU overflow! 

 


	16. Sixteen

 

it was 5:14 and wonho couldn't sleep. tossing and turning, he thought of going to the yard but it was cold tonight and he was shivering under two blankets so going out wasn't a clever option. he grabbed his phone, going through his instagram feed and getting bored soon after. he thought of going to Lili's room but then again, he didn't wanna make her uncomfortable. he thought of just texting her but she hadn't even responded to his previous texts so what was the point even. a message notification popped up showing the doctor's name. well, the name he had saved him by.

 

**_hot_ ** **_pinku_ **

why are you awake again? btw, the jealousy stage was LIT! i was watching it and i had to replay three times 

 

_**wonho**_

why are you not asleep yourself? you didn't do weird things while watching my stage, did you? ;)

 

_**hot** _ _**pinku** _

nice try but no! one has to do much more than just strip to get to me

do you come up with choreos yourself?

 

_ **wonho** _

not always. the choreos always go through shownu in the end and he tends to change a thing or two.

nice job changing the topic tho :)

 

_**hot** _ _**pinku** _

i knew i saw a touch of shownu hyung's moves in that stage! ha! 

 

_ **wonho** _

hyungwon!

 

_**hot** _ _**pinku** _

?

 

_**wonho** _

it's 6 AM. don't you have to be here at 11? sleep already. you can gosh over my stages later. 

 

_**hot** _ _**pinku** _

*rolls eyes*

ok mom

 

_**wonho** _

did you just ..

nevermind.

shoo.

 

_**hot** _ _**pinku** _

wow. some people really don't know how to behave towards their doctor

 

_**wonho** _

shut up you're younger than me. i won't reply anymore. sleep. bye pinkwon.

 

 

hyungwon stared at his phone screen for a couple of seconds. what the fuck is 'pinkwon'? did wonho just give him a nickname?! shaking the thought out of his head he locked his phone and put it away. trying to go to sleep as he was told. he really needed to sleep.

 

 

it was 11:30 when hyungwon got to the hospital having overslept. rushing to his office, he threw his jacket on the chair and quickly put on his gown. kai knocked on his door which was open and walked towards him, handing him a folder.

" everyone's meds for the morning had been given, except for tae and wonho's room. i was just about to go to them but you're here now and i have to leave as i'm already late so you will kindly take care of this for me. " kai winked at him and left. hyungwon put his jacket on the backrest of his chair, picked the folder up and made his way to the second floor. opening the door, he saw taehyung and one of other patients playing cards. after giving taehyung's medication and chatting with him a bit he asked if he knew where wonho was but taehyung said he hadn't seen him since last night and he wasn't there when he had woken up this morning. hyungwon thought he must've gone to the piano room in the basement so he decided to check on Lili first before going all those stairs down to the basement.

opening the door to lili's room quietly, his eyes widened to their limit when he saw his sister and wonho sleeping on her bed with lili cuddling on wonho's body. he frowned without recognizing and moved his was to the bed. shaking wonho's leg, he called their names to wake them up. wonho was the only one who reacted, opening one of his eyes slowly to get used to the light, he looked at hyungwon.

" oh hyungwon, when did you come?" wonho asked while rubbing his eye and trying to sit up but failing because lili's body was on his hand.

" just now." hyungwon asnwered shortly. " take this." handing the pills to the latter he took a glance of his sister's sleeping figure.

" why are you frowning so hard? rough morning?" wonho asked still trying to slowly set his hand free without waking lili up. hyungwon moved his way to the other side of the bed where lili was, bent down and shook lili. " lili, wake up." he had to repeat the action 4 times to finally succeed. lili opened her eyes and moved away from wonho's body while curling her hands around hyungwon's shoulders, making him sit on the bed and lower his upper body so that his sister could hug him like she wanted.

" won, i don't wanna wake up." she whined

" you have to take your medication and you can't do it on empty stomach." freeing himself from her hands he pointed at the two of them " get up, wash your faces and go to the dining room. both of you."

" you're bossy." wonho said teasingly. hyungwon raised his eyebrow at him. wonho smirked and got out of bed and out of the room. hyungwon turned to lili " why was he here?" 

" i asked him to come. i couldn't sleep and i felt alone." 

" you never feel alone!" 

" now that guk's gone, there's no-one i know here. i miss him." she pouted.

" wonho's not a replacement lili, what if he gets attached by all this?" 

lili groaned " relax won! he's gay! besides, i told him i just needed to cuddle with someone." 

" fine, whatever, go wash up, you really need to eat, there's no color on your face." 

 

 

when they arrived at the dining room, wonho was already leaving with a sandwich in his hand. he just smiled at him while walking fast out of the door. hyungwon wasn't ok with what he saw. he was happy that his sister had opened up to someone new but he knew that wonho was leaving in less than a month and that would only hurt her more. but then did her sister really give that much fucks about wonho to be hurt by him not being there? and why did he not want wonho to be in his sister's bed? well it was indeed forbidden for patients to get into physical attractions in the hospital. wonho being gay doesn't mean he can't be actually bi and he just can't imagine her sister sleeping with him and ugh why is he thinking about all this stuff in the first place? he made sure lili ate before walking her back to her room and maing himself busy with all the work he had to do.


	17. Seventeen

 

( 8 years ago ) 

" yo joo you ready? let's go, we're gonna be late." wonho told a sleepy jooheon

" why are we doing this again? i thought it was you and i against the world?" jooheon said in a sassy tone

" woaw calm your dimples. it's better to dance in a group with more members. just like back then in our highschool days. besides, min says they're lovely and we're gonna love them." wonho explained excitedly

" the one who should calm thy dimples is you though you're sadly not blessed with them. ok let's go and see if they can make us fall in love." jooheon sighed and put on his shoes.

 

 

" what took you so long? i thought you changed your mind." minhyuk said whike shaking their hands energetically

" joo overslept. i didn't have the heart to wake him up, same old same old." wonho replied putting his hand on jooheon's shoulder, leaning on him. min nodded and gestured towards his friends. " well these two are my crew. this is shownu and this shorty is kihyun." the shorty, kihyun, punched minhyuk's bicep and stretched his hands towards the two. " hi. nice to meet you." shownu did the same. after a small chat, they decided to see each other dance so they each chose a song and the feast started.

" i can't believe your style is so similar to us!" minhyuk shouted which made jooheon flinch. wonho could only laugh at his friend's annoyed expression.

" yeah min, i was surprised too. we could make one hell of a gang." wonho replied with a wide smile.

" not just any gang though. we would be the GUCCI gang." min gestured with his hands in the air like that one Spongebob meme. finally jooheon laughed. " so what? we're a crew now?" 

" we could be. but there's something we need to talk about first." shownu spoke. " you see, we want to participate in the World Of Dance competition. so we're gonna have to practice alot and then when we're ready we have to go to the states." 

" hold up! world of dance as in NBC's world of dance? are you for real?!"  jooheon asked shocked

" yeah." 

jooheon looked at wonho with wide eyes, searching in his friend's eyes if he was buying any of this.

" we're gonna need a LOT of practice. that program is no joke." wonho said

" wait, so you're already in for it?" jooheon asked

" yeah. it'll be amazing. think about all the stuff we'd experience. " wonho replied. " so you in or nah? you know i can't be apart from you. if you don't want this then we won't join them." jooheon seemed in thought for a couple of minutes " fuck it i'm in, let's get it." they all put their hands together and with a 'hoo' everything was started. all of them had other jobs except for shownu whose job was actually being a dance teacher at  Starship dance school. at 10PM everyone would gather there and they'd practice until 3-4 AM. Min and wonho were programmers. Jooheon was a music producer and kihyun worked as a chef assistant at a very popular restaurant. sure they would be tired as hell but their passion towards dancing was the strongest. they practiced everyday for two years before they were finally ready. when the day for online auditions came, they recorded their best choreography and sent it to WOD. a week later they received their invitation to the competition and within another week they had their tickets in their hands while taking a six-month leave from their jobs. four months later, they won the competition. wonho should've felt happy whole-heartedly but he didn't. he was happy that they had made it this far. that they had won. that they still had two months before they had to go back. but his heart wasn't at ease. he had fallen for his friend during the process and it was not ok. not when that very same friend fanboyed over a member of one of the girl group dancers. and not when he had kissed that girl on one of their nights out in a drunken state. wonho was not ok and he didn't know what to do about it.

 

 

 


	18. Eighteen

 

{ jimin }

 

" wonho, this is amazing. i'm gonna send it to the production crew and we're gonna record it as soon as you're out. if others agree, i think we'll make this the title song of the album." jongup was currently paying a visit to the hospital to check on wonho's process.

" will he be discharged as previously planned dr.? " himchan shifted in his seat a little. 

" well, he has made a lot of progress. he is completely clean and haven't had a break down for over two weeks now. but i don't know what happens once we cut him from the medication. i would prefer to keep him a little while longer but it's his choice at this point. he'll have to come by often though cuz we still need to observe his condition while minimizing the pills." jongup turned to wonho who had been sitting there quietly for the past 30 minutes or so while he checked his songs and talked with the doctor.

" what do you think? do you wanna stay? if not, you'll be out next week." there was something soft in his voice, like he was talking to a kid. wonho wanted to point out that he was half his size but didn't say anything. he just shook his head. jongup nodded in understanding. 

" we're thinking about a concert when you get out. your fans miss you dearly and it would be a good way to reunite." wonho didn't hesitate to semi-shout "NO" 

jongup and himchan were taken aback by his sudden outburst. " why not!?" 

wonho wanted to make up an excuse so it took him a little longer to answer " i... i ... " not being able to come up with any excuse as his mind went blank he sighed " fine." he should have just said the truth, that he didn't think he would be able to sing those songs again but he just gave up. his fans loved them and he knew he just couldn't ignore them forever.

 

 

"  i heard you'll leave us soon." kai said walking in their room. taehyung looked at him and then at wonho in horror. " WHAT? you're leaving hyung? no, no no no. not you too." wonho was feeling sorry for his friend.

" yes he is and you should try to get well soon so you can leave too taehyungie. do you know how long you've been here?" kai said sitting down next to tae.

" NO. i don't wanna leave. ever." he pouted

" but your family misses you. your friends miss you. do you know how many visitors you have each week that you decide not to show up?" 

" i hate my family. and the one i want to see never visits so i have no reason to see anyone." kai looked at him with sad eyes, clearly feeling bad for the boy. wonho had been here for almost three months but taehyung always refused to talk about his family and why he was here. kai caressed the younger boys hair for a while teasing him and tickling him before he left the room. as soon as there was only the two of them taehyung crawled in wonho's bed and cuddled with him tightly. " please don't leave hyung. not you too." wonho caressed his hair softly and looked at his eyes.  " i have no choice tae tae. they're gonna discharge me. it's not my choice really. and i have to go back to my career. " he paused. " who had left you? who had left our taehyungie?  " 

" everyone leaves. my best friends at high school left me. my parents abandoned me and jimin left me too." 

" jimin? you've never mentioned him before. was he your friend?" taehyung hummed playing with wonho's shirt buttons.

" i loved him so much but my parents scared him away." wonho had just found out taehyung was gay but he was more curious about why his parents did that. he didn't know if he should ask him cuz he didn't wanna make him sad.

" did jimin love you too? what did he look like?" 

" hmm, he loved me too. he was so cute. he had this puffy lips and his cheeks were just so so cute. he hated them, said he looked chubby but it was so beautiful. he would just crawl on me when i was reading in bed and beg me to go out with him cuz he was bored. he always mocked me about my nickname though. said i should've picked more alphabets cuz my work deserved more."

" he must've been very beautiful from what you explained. what was your nickname?" taehyung smiled. like he remembered jimin and that made him smile. 

" V. my nickname was V." wonho's eyes widened to the point of jumping out of his scalp. he knew a V. but taehyung could not be the V he had heard of, right?! raising his head from the pillow and sitting up on bed he asked " taehyung, what did you do before coming here? what was your job?" 

taehyung looked at him confused " i was a music producer. is something wrong? are you in pain? why are your eyes so big?" taehyung sat up in front of him. wonho couldn't believe it and also couldn't close his opened jaw. " so you're telling me that you are V? the V? the person who made singularity and stagima? for real? how! how the fuck did you end up here?" 

taehyung smiled a crooked smile. " yeah.... this ... this is my parents gift to me." he gestured around at the room.

" what do you mean? did they put you here? but why? you were legendary with the songs you made and then one day when i finally got your number to offer a collaboration, someone said you no longer worked." 

taehyung was playing with his sleeves looking down. wonho recognized he had just bombed the poor boy with a million questions and felt bad immediately. moving closer, he took his hands in his and made him look up " it's ok tae. if you don't wanna talk about it i understand. it's just that you were a genius in what you did." taehyung's eyes were glossy. " i moved out as soon as i was 18. i moved to another city cuz i wanted to be away from my parents and the people i used to call friends. i became friends with jimin through namjoon who i learnt producing from. and when my parents found out about jimin and the fact that i was gay, they...." taehyung looked to the side, clearly not comfortable with the topic. wonho squeezed his hands to reassure him it was okay. with a deep breath he continued " one day they told me we're going to see someone, and i just followed them like a fool. i fell asleep the whole ride and when i woke up i was in a place that looked like a hospital but not like this place at all. there was screaming all over the place and i swear i saw a priest once. they told me i was ill and they were gonna fix me. i was there for a long time. when they finally let me go, i went to the studio, but i couldn't find jimin. namjoon said he left. he said he told him he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. after that i couldn't make even a beat. namjoon said i had become clumsy and asked why i looked so different. he said i used to have a strong personality and now i was just like a baby who didn't know his way around. i ... i can't remember how i used to be. i can't remember many things but i never forgot jimin. in time, i started having breakdowns and my parents took me home with them. a little while after there was news of this hospital that had homophobics running it, basically torturing gays in order to make them straight and that's when my parents knew they had screwed up. feeling sorry they searched and found this place. the heaven for crazy people like me and that's how my story ends."

wonho had forgotten how to breath. listening to the younger boy's story he wanted to go and beat the shit out of his parents, tell them tae wasn't ill in the fucking first place. he noticed how taehyung's voice and personality had changed while talking about his past. it was like he was a different person, an actual adult and not his usual clingy pouty self. after clearing his thoughts he noticed that taehyung had started crying queitly while having his head hanging low. wonho moved even closer and took him in his embrace. hugging him tightly and wiping his tears, he placed a kiss on his head " it's okay. it's gonna be ok." after a while tae fell asleep in wonho's arms and wonho couldn't help but wonder what had actually happened to this jimin guy? did he really leave tae like that? he had t ofind out when he was out of this place.

 

 


	19. Nineteen

 

 

" hyungwon, can i come in?" wonho asked standing by the door frame.

" sure, do you ever sleep at night?" hyungwon chuckled.  
" not really. " he replied after sitting on the couch

" so? why are you here instead of infront of the fountain in the yard?" 

" it's too cold. i can't stand cold weather." wonho shivered just by the thought of being out there. hyungwon laughed and stood up to come sit next to him. 

" you're leaving in two days. how do you feel? are you ready?" wonho turned his head to the right to look at the pink haired doctor. " i can't wait to be out. i miss my studio too much." 

" but you don't look like someone who's so happy. there's a sadness behind your eyes." hyungwon watched him close.

" i'm... scared." 

" why?" 

" of running into him? you know we have mutual favorite places and so many mutual friends. our lives are just linked in so many ways. i... after the breakup and before coming here it was easy cuz i'd just get high or wasted but now... i don't think i can handle this in a sober way." 

" please don't tell me you're planning to go back when you're out! you didn't go through so much pain just to go back to drugs wonho. i'm warning you." wonho laughed shortly. 

" i'm not planning on it hyungwon. relax." they were silent for a while until wonho spoke again.

" how much longer is lili staying here? i mean, will you ever let her out or ..." 

" she can go whenever she wants. we're not forcing anyone to stay here unless their situation is severe."

" wow, you are too much into your role as a doctor. couldn't you just explain that in a more friendly way other than ' we're not forcing anyone to stay' ?" he laughed in hyungwon's face, making the latter frown.

" for the past 3 years this place is all i've known. this is basically my second home. i guess i've forgotten how to talk in a friendly way." he smiled bitterly before clearing hsi throat " why did you ask though? suddenly interested in my sister?" hyungwon tried to joke

" it's not sudden. i've grown very fond of lili. she's a very unique human." 

" oh.." hyungwon paused " yes, yes she is."

" you know i read her book twice and i can read it again. i don't know why she hates it so much." wonho said

" it's rather normal for her. she does something, she hates doing it right after. says things need to be perfect and she can't ever achieve that perfection."

" huh..."  wonho looked at hyungwon and noticed his mood had changed from a few minutes ago " are you ok? did i make you upset? do you want me to leave?" he said while standing halfway, ready to leave by the doctor's demand. hyungwon just pushed him back down on the couch and rest his head on the back. " stay." several minutes passed with just the two of them being there, hyungwon's eyes closed while wonho just stared at nothing.

" you know i'm gonna miss our little talks in the middle of the night." hyungwon said out of the blue.

" i'll call you instead. it's not like i'm gonna die." wonho teased him. hyungwon just hummed.

 

 

" taehyungie, have you seen my headphones? the pink ones?" a currently wandering wonho asked a pouty boy following his movement with his eyes eagerly.

" no."  the answer was too short to have come from taehyung. the normally talkative person. wonho stopped and made his way to the latter's bed. sitting down on the edge and hugging the boy, he caressed his hair gently " come on tae, we talked about this. i'm gonna visit. they'll even let me up here so you wouldn't have to come down there. i'm even gonna bring you your favorite snaks. i promise i won't leave you." 

" guk hyung said he'd visit too. but if it wasn't for lili, he wouldn't come. you're just like him. you'll come for lili, not me." 

" guk is in love with lili so of course she is his first priority."

" you're in love with her too." wonho was surprised by his answer, he loosened his arms and made him look up, looking straight in his eyes " what do you mean i'm in love with her? i'm not!" 

" yes you are! have you seen the way you look at her? there's literally hearts pouring out of your eyes." 

wonho looked at him in awe. did he really look like that while looking at lili? he adored her sure but that was just pure adoration and nothing more. he was gay, right?! but then, he did kiss lili just because she stretched her arms at her as an invitation and he did enjoy it. his head started hurting so he just hugged taehyung tightly again and breathed, trying to shoot the thought far away to the back of his mind.

" i love you all tae. you, hyungwon and lili. even kai is someone i wanna come to visit. so it's not just you or lili. i wanna come see you all." taehyung hugged him back for the first time and he felt he had achieved a big goal in his life. he had used taehyung as a pillow you hug when you sleep or just cuddled with him a lot but tae had never hugged back until now. it felt so good that the younger had finally opened up to him like that. ' oh please wonho! it's just a hug, why are you making such a big deal out of it! he probably thinks it's the last time he's seeing you so he's emotional.' the thought came to his mind. his mind just wouldn't shut up today. taehyung's voice ripped him out of his thought " under the bed." 

" hm?" 

" your pink hadphones. they're under the bed." 

" ah, rally? how could i not see them? i already looked there!" he said. let go of taehyung and went to his bed to grab the headphones. then he hurried out of the room. 

 

" hyungwon" wonho called after him upon seeing him in the hallway. the latter raised his head slowly, his eyes red from the lack of sleep.

" your headphones are ruined, right?" hyungwon nodded with a straight face.

" well then here." he grabbed hyungwon's hand and put the headphone case in his. hyungwon looked at the case in his hand and then at him and raised his eyebrow in question. he really didn't seem to want to speak a word today.

" changkyun, my brother, buys me headphones all the time. i have no idea why but he's in love with the object. so i'm giving you a pair. since you don't have time to go and buy one. it's pink so it matches with your hair perfectly." 

hyungwon just looked at him for a second before saying a very quiet 'thanks' and a very forced smile. wonho wanted to ask what was wrong but someone called hyungwon and he left immediately.

 

wonho looked at his watch. he had to leave in two hours. he hurried back to his room to continue packing.


	20. Twenty

 

Hyungwon was currently watching wonho’s performance in one of the awards shows that was broadcasted live. In fact, they were all watching it while eating dinner at the dining room. It had been around ten days since wonho had left. The latter had kept his promise and called him three four times, texting when he had time but mostly he had been busy to death. The very day he got discharged, jongup had picked him up to go to the recording studio. He hadn’t visited yet but he had an appointment two days from now and they would test his blood and everything to see if he had stayed clean. Hyungwon wished dearly that he had but he had his doubts. The performance was over and wonho had killed it, the whole stadium singing along whether they were his fans or not. By the end of the night, he had won two awards, best concert and best solo singer. He was smiling one of his genuine gummy smiles receiving the awards and hyungwon couldn’t help but feel happy about the rare real smile on the singer’s face.   
“Yas! He deserved those awards so bad. He is a killer.” Lili screamed next to him. She was overexcited somehow today. Hyungwon looked at her in amusement and laughed “ yeah. He does. “  
“ i can’t believe that fucker didn’t sing even one sentence for us while he was here.” Kai said in an irritated voice.  
“ sometimes i wonder how you got this job with that tongue of your kai.” Himchan teased him. And kai just shrugged before breaking into a smile. Taehyung smiled too looking at the nurse. “ i think i should give him the last song i made. I really want someone to sing it.” Taehyung said suddenly, shocking everyone around cuz not many people knew what he did before.  
“ you should talk about it with him when he visits tae. I’m sure he’ll love it.” Lili told him. Taehyung nodded.

 

Hyungwon had gotten home an hour ago and was now lying on the bed after taking a shower. He unlocked his phone and went through his messages. There weren’t many but he replied to them quickly and switched to his instagram feed. Rolling down he saw wonho had uploaded a new post. The caption was ‘ thank you wonbebe for these beautiful awards. I love you all, you know that,right? ❤️ p.s. : who’s ready for comeback?  #wonbebe ‘   
Hyungwon commented a quick ‘ congrats. ‘ and rolled through the rest of his feed. Getting bored and deciding to sleep, he put his phone on the stand. As soon as he closed his eyes a notification sound buzzed. Taking his phone he saw an unknown number.  
“how was i? Did you enjoy it?”

‘ ah... who is this? ‘ 

“Oh shit, sorry, it’s wonho. This is my other number.” 

‘ oh hey wonho. You were amazing, we all watched it.’

“ yeah? Lili too? Wow she really came out of her room?”

‘Yes lili too.’

“ thanks for the comment btw. Sorry i can’t follow you back.”

‘Nah it’s fine. I forgive you :D ‘ 

“ can’t you just use the damn emoji instead of a : and D ?! “

‘No -_- ‘

" stubborn! listen i gotta go now. sweet dreams pinkwon ❤️ " 

' night night wonho.' 

 

The next morning hyungwon woke up to videos of last night's after party of the award show and his heart skipped a bit after watching this one specific one. wonho and this other guy having a beer drinking contest. hyungwon didn't know how he was supposed to feel but he knew he felt angry. he had told him to not take anything and here he was inhaling an inhumane amount of beer as soon as he set foot out of the hospital. well now he knew how his blood test was gonna be like. 

 

today was the day, wonho was supposed to come to the hospital but it was already 4PM and he was supposed to be there at 2 so they all assumed he just wouldn't come. but when the clock showed 4:01 two men entered the hospital. one of them an old man and the other wonho with glasses on. they went straight to himchan's office. himchan paged hyungwon and when he entered the room, the atmosphere was so heavy, it could be cut with a knife. wonho was just sinking in one of the farthest chairs at the corner of the room, with no emotions on his face wearing a pair of very dark glasses.

" hi mr. shin. long time no see." he greeted wonho's father. the old man smiled and shook his hand.

" i aplogize. i've been too busy with work. plus it's not like this boy would let me come here often." 

hyungwon looked at wonho but the guy was just looking out of the window. something felt terribly wrong.

himchan was the one to break the silence. " so have you been wonho?" wonho didn't move or react at all. just let out a simple " good " while staring at something outside.

" have you experienced any breakdown or severe sadness? " 

" no." 

" have you taken anything? "

" no." hyungwon's blood started boiling upon remembering that video and the fact that wonho was lying right now.

himchan was about to ask something more when mr. shin interrupted him " why did you discharge him so soon doctor? he hasn't been treated fully yet." 

" his treatment period was up and he wanted to be discharged. his mental health has been improved greatly." 

" i'm sorry but i can't see any difference. to me and his mother, he is just the same as before." 

wonho chuckled and shifted in his seat, starting to play with his fingers. hyungwon walked over to him and sat on the armchair, putting his palm on wonho's shoulder. maybe helping him relax a little.

" can you tell my why you think he's the same? " himchan asked kindly.

" well... he is as ignorant as he was and he still has his short temper. his brother had to make him visit last night after almost 12 days of being discharged and he started a fight after only being there 20 minutes." 

" can you stop talking about me like i'm not there? if you have anything to say, just say it to me. these people are not here to listen to your complains." wonho spoke fast but in a low voice, looking at his father.

" didn't you run out of the house last night when i tried to talk to you though? this is the only place i can talk because you can't escape from here." 

wonho chuckled sarcastically. " these people have a rule stick, up their asses. they know they can't stop me if i walk out of this door right this instant." 

" thank you for referring to us like that wonho but why don't you wanna talk with your father?" himchan asked in a soft voice. wonho inhaled harshly and looked outside again " because all they do is complain." 

" why is it so much to ask for you to come home every once in a while and to not act like a completely ignorant asshole 24/7? you always run away and as your father i want you to be there." 

" you're not my father." wonho said in a low but firm tone and stood up, walking to the door " do you want that blood test or not? come on hyungwon. " he left the room and with himchan's approval hyungwon followed him. hyungwon walked silently behind wonho until they reached his office and wonho sat on the couch.  hyungwon was looking at him while getting the stuff he needed for the blood test ready.

" why the glasses?" 

" i'm hangover. light hurts." 

" huh" wonho raised his head from the backrest and looked at him. " what's 'huh' supposed to mean?" 

" it means you started drinking the minute you were out. so huh." hyungwon said walking and sitting next to him. wonho followed him with his eyes.

" i haven't taken any drugs. but i couldn't help the alcohol.  sorry."

" what are you sorry for?"

" for disappointing you." after this wonho hung his head low, looking at his thighs silently. hyungwon was taken aback by the reply so he just stared at the latter for a while before getting to his job. he took the blood without any problem, labeled it and put it in it's place on the small desk next to the couch. 

" you shouldn't be sorry for disappointing others wonho. you should be sorry for not treating yourself well. why did you even feel the need to drink? what was the trigger?"

" oh please don't go all doctor-ish on me hyungwon. what was the trigger? life outside was the fucking trigger. you don't know cuz you've locked yourself in this place and can only talk heavenly quotes of a perfect world that doesn't exist." wonho paused as if surprised by his own sudden outburst and loud tone. " sorry. fuck, i'm sorry." he said while taking hyungwon's hand and squeezing it. he took off his glasses and frowned upon the lights hurting his eyes but looked at hyungwon intently. " i didn't mean to say that. i'm really sorry." 

" you didn't mean what you said to your father as well or did you? do you see what the alcohol is doing to you already? you weren't like this while being clean no matter how angry you were." 

" that's ... that's a totally different story. i meant what i said, but maybe not in that much of a harsh tone. he is a good person but-" 

" he's not your father." hyungwon completed his sentence. wonho stared at him and nodded shortly. still holding on to hyungwon's hand tightly.

" wanna talk about it?" he asked carefully. wonho looked around the office, searching for a distraction and finding nothing.

" there's nothing to talk about. he's not my father and that's that." he stood up, letting go of the doctor's hand, before leaving the room he turned around " tell him to wait while i visit tae and lili please." 

 

 

it's been an hour since wonho had gone to the second floor and himchan had told hyungwon to go get him down. hyungwon went to Lili's room first by it was empty so he headed to the latter's old room. when he entered the room, the first thing he did was to take his phone out and take a picture cuz it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. wonho was in the middle of the other two, lili on his right and taehyung on his left. they were asleep but a movie was playing on the laptop on the bottom of the bed. wonho was sitting with his back against the headrest. lili had her head on his shoulder and his right hand in hers and taehyung had his head on wonho's lap while wonho's left hand was in tae's hair. hyungwon wanted to just look at them forever like that cuz the three of them had the most peaceful faces when being asleep. none of the usual sadness was on their visuals and it was a beautiful sight to see. but he had to wake him up cuz wonho had to go back. he called wonho's name in a low voice cuz he knew the other two weren't light sleepers and with enough hope wonho could get out of bed without waking them up. as he thought wonho opened his eyes after a small shake on his leg and looked at the doctor in question. hyungwon mouthed ' time to go' to him. wonho tried to move but was caged by two limbs around his body. hyungwon noticed how wonho laughed quietly seeing how he had two koalas attached to him. with much effort and hyungwon's help, wonho was free. making the two sleeping properly on the bed and turning off the laptop, wonho placed a kiss on each of their foreheads and gestured to hyungwon to leave.

" what a lovely love triangle. i even have it on tape." hyungwon showed his phone screen to wonho shortly. wonho's eyes widened before a mischevious smirk appeared on his face. " you were missing though. we could have been a love square. "

" ugh that was as bad as a dad joke wonho!" hyungwon teased him.

" did taehyung tell you about his song?" 

" yeah, i transferred the file to my phone. gonna listen to it tonight. he is a genius. such a waste." 

" yeah.... well, the time has come for us to part again. be gone. " hyungwon teased him again and placed him arm on wonho's shoulder who was now standing in front of him with a pouty face.

" your lips say one thing and your body says another though." he pointed at the arm who was heavily put on his shoulder.

" lips are a part of the body though." hyungwon noticed how wonho's eyes focused on his lips after he mentioned them. looking away after a short moment and blinking a few times, the latter cleared his throat and looked at him again " so, guess i'll see you around then." he took hyungwon's arm down from his shoulder, taking the hand in his, squeezing shortly before letting go and heading outside to where he spotted his father/ not father's car with the man standing next to it.

hyungwon was feeling strange. did wonho just stare at his lips and panick afterwards? but why!?


	21. Twenty One

{ Jackson } 

 

 

(5 years ago) 

" yah! won! wake up! please wake up!" 

" five more minutes joo." he whined, hiding his face in the pillow.

" why do you tell me to wake you up if you never actually get out of bed?" jooheon hit him with a pillow hard

" ow! evil dimples!" wonho screamed in pretentious pain.

" yeah yeah as if a pillow could hurt that mass of muscles. get your ass out of bed. minhyuk and the guys are gonna be here soon."  wonho rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. they've been back for a month now and he still didn't know what to do with all the feelings he had. should he tell his friend? should he keep it to himself? is the other guy even gay? or bisexul? ugh humans should have a bracelet or something that says which sex they're interested at.that would solve a whole lot of problems.

the bell rang and jooheon went to open the door, still nagging at how wonho was still lying in bed. he wasn't to blame, it was Saturday and he was allowed to be lazy. like a broken doll. a lazy broken doll. fucking great. "where is wonho? " a voice asked

" muscles is curled up in his blankets like a sleepy bunny. " jooheon replied pointing at his bedroom.

wonho opened his eyes wide open, yelping in pain, real this time, when a body crashed on him. apparently, minhyuk thought it was okay to jump on him with his full body weight. 

" ow ow ow min, please, it hurts. get off me." he struggled to first get his hands out of the many layers of blanket before curling his hands around minhyuk and rolling him to the other side of the bed and off himself. this friend was laughing his ass off at his misery. wonho glared at him. " are you laughing at my pain?" 

" isn't is obvious ?" he laughed some more. " btw, congrats on your promotion!" 

" what promotion?!" minhyuk looked at him confused " the promotion you got at work yesterday?! you're the head of section 4 now?! " wonho blinked at him several times. this was new information to him.

" i haven't heard of this min. you must be wrong." 

" no, i'm not. it was emailed to everyone at the company." 

" ha... i haven't checked my email since thursday." minhyuk stared at him 

" ha? that's all? why are you NOT happy about this? do you know how much more money are we talking about here?" wonho shifted in bed. " about that..." he then sat up, looking at minhyuk's face as he was still lying down. " i'm going to quit." 

" WHAT?!" wonho jumped at how loud minhyuk had yelled. 

" what sh sh!! you're gonna wake the entire neighborhood up! " he gestured a yelling minhyuk to tone it down.

" I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! WHY WOULD YOU QUIT?" 

" BECAUSE! ... because i'm really really bored and -" 

" and what? so what are you gonna do? " 

" i'll tell you if you don't interrupt me while screaming! calm down jesus! i really enjoyed the 4 months we performed on stage. the audience, their applause, it was all euphoric." 

" so you're gonna continue dance profession?" wonho shook his head 

" no, i've already checked dancing. i'm gonna take a step forward." minhyuk raised an eyebrow confused.

" i'm gonna be a singer min!"   minhyuk just looked at him. then shouted jooheon's name. " JOOHEONIE, COME HERE FAST." 

jooheon ran to the room thinking someone had died from all the drama that was in minhyuk's tone.

" what is it?"  minhyuk looked at wonho frowning. " i think wonho has gone mad. his wires must have burnt or something. " jooheon didn't understand a thing. with an irritated face he said " would you tell me what this is about or should i just leave? i'm in the middle of a game for fuck's sake." 

" Jooheon! this guy says he wants to quit the company and become a singer!" jooheon's jaw dropped turning his head to wonho who was looking at the two silently. jooheon closed his mouth after a few moments " well i mean he did dance to Michael Jackson's songs with a bowl on his head when he was a kid so... " 

" i didn't know you guys were friends for that long!" minhyuk said surprised

" we were together for two years in elementary school, then again in high school. so yeah i know his dirtly little secrets." jooheon smirked and looked at wonho mischievously.

" don't you fucking dare joo! i'll skin you!" wonho pinched his arm

" oh please, you can't hurt a bee." 

" yeah i can't hurt you honey bee." wonho winked at him playfully.

" Ewwwwww, get a room you two. ew ew ew" minhyuk cringed and got off the bed, leaving the bedroom. wonho and jooheon laughed out loud and followed him to the living room.

" you guys i have BREAKING NEWS. wonho wants to quit his job and become a singer."  minhyuk told the other two as soon as he spot them.

" for real? " kihyun asked looking surprised at wonho who had a jooheon dangling from his shoulders.

" yeah" 

" cool." shownu said and smiled.

" see min? that's how friends are supposed to be. SUPPORTIVE." wonho teased minhyuk.

" but you're gonna risk everything. your position is so good now. and being as good and as smart as you are you're gonna be the head of the company one day!" 

" you're smart too. smarter than me even when it comes to programming. i'm gonna make a sacrifice and give you my chair." minhyuk rolled his eyes. " david is gonna murder you. good luck telling him you wanna quit right after he made you the head of your section." 

with that the three of them trned to look at wonho and yelled " WHAT?" " you got promoted?" jooheon asked 

" apparantely! i didn't know about it myself. the crazy puppy just informed me about it." 

" and you're still gonna quit?" kihyun asked. wonho hummed.

" well, if you didn't make it, you can always join me at the dance school i'm opening." shownu said

" thank you hyung. you're the best. that dolphin should learn from you." 

" make up your mind goD! how many animals are you gonna name me?" minhyuk nagged

" you're a whole zoo sunshine." 

" what's with all the nicknames?" jooheon asked letting go of him and going to the kitchen. " go wash up. breakfast's gonna be ready soon. chef kiki is cooking today." 

 

 

( the present day) 

wonho was remembering all kinds of stuff these days. from the tiniest memories to the most important ones. he was currently sitting at his studio, editing some parts of the song he was working on. he wasn't gonna sing it himself. he had just written the lyrics down last night and immediately wrote a beat and then he called the first person he thought the song would be a good match to. his phone rang, it was hyungwon.

" what's gives me the pleasure doc?" he answred his phone teasingly. hyungwon giggled at the other end.  " where are you?" 

" at the studio. why? wanna come over? " 

" yeah." 

" really?!" 

" lili and tae cooked today. asked me to bring you some."

" what?! they cooked?!"

" it's a long story. don't even ask. send me the address? "

" ok. i'm gonna send it to you right away. see ya." 

as soon as wonho pressed send, someone entered his studio. he looked up and his jaw dropped 

" JACKSON my man! blonds suits you really well!!!" jackson smiled wide at him and spread his hands. the hugged and wonho leaned back looking at jackson's hair again.

" thanks hyung. you should go blond too. i'm tired of your style. you've had it for too long." wonho brushed his hair with his finger " have i? not blond though. blond is gonna be your signature color from now on. man you're really hot like this!" jackson laughed and took off his hoodie. a thing he always does when he feels hot due to the compliments.

" so? what was this song you were talking about?" the blond asked

" listen, it's a really sad song. it's ok if you don't wanna sing it. i don't wanna push it on you okay?" 

" just play it already hyung! " 

wonho played the song with the lead he had recorded. jackson was completely focused. when the song finished jackson started talking without hesitation " i want it on my album. i'm gonna add it to the track list. but we're gonna record it soon, like today cuz the album is gonna be out in 12 days." 

" woah woah easy tiger! i know the song's good but it's not that good! " 

" yes it is and i want it. i'm gonna call my manager and tell him about this. he's gonna arrange everything. " jackson paused and looked worried a little " but hyung.... how are you holding up? i heard what happened and i was really worried. did you overdose on purpose or was it really an accident?" 

wonho's eyes widened " how do you know about it?!" 

" we have a mutual friend, remember?" 

" ah.... right. it was an accident." he lied yet again.

" don't let those accidents happen again or i'm killing you myself. you can't die on me hyung."  wonho looked at jackson's eyes intently. this blond had one of the purest souls and he loved it about him. 

 

 

 

hyungwon had said no to the duo's request of taking a piece of the cake they had baked for his favorite person but then they looked at him with puppy eyes and he couldn't say no anymore. he arrived at the address. it was a huge building with so many security guards. he wondered if he could just go through the doors like that. he approached the door to the lobby and asked one of the security guards which way the elevator was. he just wanted to know if they were gonna let him in easily or was he gonna get punched because of casually entering a celebrity company building. to his surprise, the security just showed him the way and smiled. hyungwon thanked him and smiled back.

he reached the 10th floor and made his way to door number 514. he was about to knock when the door opened and a blond boy rushed out of the room. this guy had red eyes and swollen lips. he checked the door number to see if he was at the right place again and was sure when he saw wonho coming out of the exact room. he flinched upon seeing the doctor " oh hey! go inside. i'm gonna be back right away." 

he then ran after the blond guy, calling his name ' jackson' . hyungwon's mood was ruined just like that. he went inside and sat on a chair, looking around the studio. there was a giant monitor with a keyboard( pc)  and then two keyboards( instrument) one on his desk and one under the glass surface. there was also a laptop and several types of microphones and speakers. there was also so many weird toys. hyungwon had seen those. they were quite expensive and this guy had this many of them! and then there was the awards he had won and so many monster drinks. at one corner there was a chair, one of those you can basically live on cuz they are too comfy. there was a box full of letters, supposedly from the fans and then his eyes caught something on one of the shelves. a pack. a pack of cigarettes. he picked the pack up in his hand and opened it, it was nearly empty. and then wonho rushed back inside. closing the door behind him and entering the passcode from the inside. he turned to hyungwon, seeing him standing there with the pack in his hands and a judging look on his face. " sorry for making you wait. those are'nt mine. i don't smoke." he paused . hyungwon threw the pack back were it was and sank down on the comfy chair in the corner.

" did i interrupt something?" he asked. wonho looked at him in question. " what?" 

" the guy. the blond guy, em , jackson? were you guys making out or something?" 

wonho burst out laughing " what gave you that idea?!" 

" his lips were really swollen! " hyungwon shrugged. wonho laughed again.

" he's allergic. and he's having it the worst now that the season's changing."

hyungwon nodded and smiled. " here, they nearly killed me for this." 

wonho reached out and took the container " they really baked this?!"  hyungwon nodded.

before long. the blond guy was back with another man. an older one. he had entered the passcode as if it was his own studio and come in. 

" yo wonho! good to see you back in business man! we missed your sassy ass around here." wonho hugged the guy laughing " do i have to kick some butts hyung? did anyone bully your round tummy while i was'nt around?" 

" the only one who bullies my round tummy is you won. kick your own butt." to hyungwon's surprise wonho did spank himself teasingly and blew a kiss to the said guy. and then he turned to him. 

" hyungwon, we're gonna record. do you wanna stay around and see how a song is born?" 

" i'd love to if i'm not a burden." he replied looking at the other two. jackson gestured a 'nah' and stretched his hand towards him " i'm jackson. a rapper. and you are?" 

" hyungwon." jackson nodded before letting go of his hand and going in the small recording room.

" i've never seen you before. your new boyfriend won?" wonho chocked onthe water he was drinking. 

" oh god no hyung! he is my doctor. and a friend." he then turned to the blond guy " you ready? do you have the lyrics?" jackson showed a piece of paper and   with that the recording started.

it took a long time, nearly 4 hours to record the whole song. hyungwon had learnt that wonho was the one who made it all in just one day but gave it to jackson to sing as it was supposed to be a rap song. but the lyrics were so intense, showed how much wonho still cared and loved. the more he listened the more his heart ached for the man in front of him.

 

_' you were the type who hugged me_

_and said_ _i_ _wasn't a cold and quiet person_

_when my hands were so cold that you didn't let go all night_

_i_ _miss it,_ _i_ _feel so frustrated today_

_you'll sometimes smile while thinking of me_

_the words we said to each_ _other,_ _because we were too comfortable_

_i_ _will bury myself in my bed and hide again_

_because a night without you is too lonely for me_

_i'm_ _sick of putting on a strong face_ _everyday_

_because like the love songs_ _i_ _made for you_

_the scent of my bed is only of you_

_the traces can't be erased, it can't be done_

_tonight,_ _i_ _wanna go to you_

_just in my dream  
_

_saying that i'll forget you is easy_

_i hate myself for trying to forget you_

_so much_ _babe_ _'_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is DRUNKENNESS from BANG YONGGUK. just listen and melt into it ^-^


	22. Twenty Two

 

 

Since the day wonho had been discharged, he had been busy 24/7. he really liked the song taehyung gave him but it was just music with no lyrics and he didn't wanna be the one to write for it. so he talked to himchan if he could take taehyung a few times to his studio to maybe help him write the lyrics for the song he made himself. himchan was hesitant at first but had agreed later on, wishing this would help the latter get better somehow. so today he had picked up tae from the hospital and now they were there at his studio.

" i told you i can't. nothing comes to my mind." tae said for the nth time.

" and i told you, it's not possible. you just need a little push." taehyung rolled his eyes and whined like a baby. 

" come on tae,you don't have to start now. today you're just gonna be around while i work. i'm recording the title track so you can even tell me your opinion and comments, ok? you don't have to write anything today." 

" your album is due in 16 days and you still haven't recorded the title track?! what the fuck?!" 

" i haven't had the time between the hospital sessions and the concerts and awards and fan meetings. i'm recording the whole album this week. don't look at me like that. " he threw one of the stuffed toys at tae. he caught it and showed him his tongue in return.

wonho went in the recording area and a guy pressed the buttons and the recording began. wonho didn't tell taehyung that he wanted to add his song on his soon-to-be-released album cuz he didn't wanna put any kind of pressure on him but he hoped the latter would finally be able to write something, just for the sake of having written it. he wanted taehyung to be back at his feet even if it didn't mean he would be standing strong. for a whole week, he picked tae up daily and took him back after 5-6 hours. it was Friday when he had a session with himchan and then he was gonna leave with tae as usual.

 

" how are you doing wonho?" himchan asked

" busy. i don't even have time to think about anything so we're good for now." himchan smiled and nodded.

" i think it's time for us to start cutting you off of medication. you don't seem to need it anymore that much." the doctor wrote him a new routine for the medication, decreasing the doses he had to take.

" how is taehyung doing? have you noticed any change? " himchan asked sounding really curious

wonho thought about tae's behavior " not much but while recording, he did give some very good opinions. you know the ones only professionals can give. i was really fascinated."  himchan seemed surprised. " really? interesting." 

" wonho, can you-" he fixed his glasses " can you take him to your house for a few days? i want to see if he shows any change if he's surrounded in a musical environment again." 

" i mean sure, i can but i move from one place to another the whole day. wouldn't it be tiring for him? i'm afraid whether it will make him worse as well." 

" it's a risk i'm willing to take. he's been here for a long time, i think he needs a push and i think maybe you are the help i needed all along." 

" woah doc! you're talking as if i'm some kind of a hero." 

" if you end up helping taehyung, you are." he smiled and paged kai. 

" kai, could you help taehyung pack his stuff for a week ? i'm gonna send him to wonho's house." 

" ok.... but why?!" 

" we're testing if it'll change anything." kai nodded and went out.

" i need to ask for one more favor. actually, i think it's better if hyungwon's there at nights when you're home to keep a close eye on taehyung." 

" i'm cool with it. you can send ten more people there and i would still be ok with it." wonho smiled

" thank you wonho. really." wonho nodded and gestured a 'nah' with his hands.

 

 

so here hyungwon was. he was gonna spend the nights at wonho's house for a week with taehyung. he parked his car in the parking area of the huge luxurious building. he could live in the elevator of this building and it would still be fancier than his whole apartment. he wasn't poor but this building was just too expensive.

 {the elevator }

he reached the 21st floor and the elevator doors opened, two doors on each side of the hallway. he went to the left one as he was told and rang the bell. he was met with a loud ' door is open ' from the other side so he went inside and was met with a very well designed living room. everything was in a white and gray shade. and then to his left was a glass wall, giving a very mesmerizing night view to the whole city. hyungwon had always loved the night view from a top floor. the space wasn't stuffed with too many items just the things that were needed but still everything was screaming ' I'M EXPENSIVE' 

there was a huge mirror not far from the sofa which was in front of the huge TV and there was 'The Kiss' painting on the wall. hyungwon had also always loved this painting and had one in his own apartment as well. it was the most expensive thing he had ever bought. 

  { like this but erase the dining table } 

on the other side of the door was the kitchen and then next to the mirror was a short hallway leading to three stairs and then a door on each side. wonho came out of the left room and greeted him with a gigantic smile on his face and only wearing sweatpants. his hair was wet meaning he had just come out of the shower.

  { the kitchen } 

 " what are you doing standing there like that! come in! " hyungwon was ripped out of his thoughts and blinked a few times at wonho.

" cats or dogs?" hyungwon suddenly asked

" huh?!" wonho was like a human question mark

" cats? or dogs?" 

" ah... both?! why?!" 

" then i'll be born as a dog in my next life, please adopt me so i can live here." wonho burst out laughing and actually having tears in his eyes

" you're so silly oh my god" and then he laughed some more. " come on, taehyung is in the studio." 

" you have a studio in your house?" hyungwon was utterly shocked

" it's not what you think. it's just a mic and a computer and a keyboard but i still like to call it a studio." he guided the younger boy up the stairs and to the right door. hyungwon noticed there were picture frames on the upper part of the hallway walls on both sides but there were gaps in between them. like some of them had been taken out and the spots were now empty. going inside, he was met with a grand piano in front of him. 

 { the piano } 

his eyes widened pointing at the piano " that's-" 

" same color as lili's hair, right? i thought of my piano the first time i saw her." wonho giggled and turned left. this room wasn't that big and was actually stuffed with all kinds of things. from a bookshelf with so many books to a chair you could also sleep on. and then there was the desk with the big monitor and a mic and the keyboard. then there was another shelf filled with so many papers and documents and albums. and there was also a gramophone with so many discs beside it. so many music sheets all over the piano and so many stuffed toys and letters and banners on one corner. this room was a mess but so amusing to look at. he finally stopped looking around and turned to taehyung who was staring at a piece of paper. he wanted to say something but wonho put his index finger on his own lips and gestured him to come out. going down the stairs and in the kitchen he asked " why didn't you let me say hi at least? " 

" i think he's writing something. i didn't wanna interrupt him. he didn't even notice you in there." hyungwon's mouth opened in shock at knowing taehyung was finally begining to actually write lyrics.

" so? did you find this place easy?" wonho asked placing a glass of wine in front of him. and sitting on the chair next to him behind the counter. 

" yeah... one can find this building from ten miles away. but honestly i thought it would be bigger somehow." 

" hm? the house? there are bigger ones in the building but it's enough for me. i don't like huge spaces." he took a sip of his wine. " wanna take a shower? you look really tired. " 

" yeah , that would be nice. i can literally fall asleep right here." wonho smiled and took the glass from hyungwon's hand. placing it on the counter. " follow me." 

" i was drinking that you know." 

" i know. now follow me." hyungwon gave up and followed the latter to the left door and entered the room.  now this room was a whole different story. first of all it was neat and very very big unlike the other one and the colors was nothing like the living room. it was all in a wooden theme. everything was so luxurious that hyungwon's jaw was just hanging open while looking around. next to the bed there was a glass door open but hyungwon couldn't see inside. and then across the bed, there was a small door leading to a cloth room. 

      

{ the cloth room is also wooden themed} 

" you can drop your bag anywhere and the shower is that way. there are extra towels and toothbrush inside." wonho pointed at the glass door. hyungwon nodded and put his bag down, walking to the glass door. he wasn't even surprised anymore when he was met with the most beautiful bathroom he had ever seen. 

 

he took off his clothes and put them next to the sink and entered the shower. it took him around 5 minutes to figure out how to turn on the water and he was supposed to be smart. he took a quick shower, taking a big towel out and putting it around his waist, it covered till a little under his knees and then he put a smaller one over his head. heading out of the shower, he was met with a pair of fluffy white slippers on the ground. wonho must have put them there for him. smiling at the action, he put them on and went to the living room. wonho was on the phone while putting plates on the counter. when he spotted hyungwon, he just paused what he was doing, and looked at hyungwon from head to toe quickly and then stealing his gaze away. it seemed like he was having a disagreement with the person on the other line cuz a slight anger was shown on his face. he put the glass of wine he had taken from hyungwon earlier on the counter gesturing for hyungwon to take it. the latter walked there, sitting on the chair and sipping on the wine, looking at wonho while he was talking and looking out of the small window. after a while taehyung came out of the room and ran to him when he saw hyungwon was there. hugging him from behind and standing there, he put his head on the doctor's shoulder " when did you arrive?"  hyungwon ruffled his hair " a little while back. were you writing something? " he pointed at the piece of paper in the latter's hand. taehyung nodded happily. 

" i think he'll like it. i'm satisfied with it." 

" can i see?" 

" no, he has to see first."  they stayed like that for a short while till wonho hung up with a calm ' i don't give a fuck about their opinion. i'm doing it my way.' and turned around. looking them the way they were, hyungwon with a towel on his head and pink hair covering his eyes, bare chest and a koala taehyung, made him chuckle. he took his phone and snapped a quick picture of them without announcing. 

" i ordered some food. it should be here soon. you may want to get dressed before it does."  hyungwon nodded and stood up, going to the room to get dressed.

" hyung, i wrote something. tell me what you think." taehyung handed the paper to wonho. 

wonho's eyes widened upon reading the lyrics, when he was done he looked up at taehyung with sad eyes. he swallowed a couple of times and smiled crookedly. " it's...." he paused and looked at the younger boy again. " it's really good tae. you've done a great job." wonho put the piece of paper on the counter, went around it to the other side and hugged taehyung tightly. he wanted to kill the young boy's parents for doing this to their own son. the lyrics he wrote carried all the pain he had in his heart. wonho tried very hard in order not to cry. taehyung hesitated but hugged back after a short while. wonho didn't wanna let him go, ever but the bell rang showing their food was there and he had no choice but to get it.

hyungwon came out of the room and picked up the paper, reading the lyrics and feeling how his eyes were beginning to water 

 

_' One day_

_i_ _wrote a long, long letter to the moon_

_it would not be brighter than you_

_but_ _i_ _lit a small candle_

_at a dusty park_

_a nameless bird that sings_

_where are you?_

_oh you_

_why are you crying?_

_you and_ _i_ _are the only ones here_

_me and you_

_oh you_

_following into the deep night_

_the sound of you singing_

_brings the red morning_

_a step and another step_

_the dawn passes_

_and when that moon falls asleep_

_the blue shade that stayed with me disappears '_

 

 

 

 

 

{ apparantly the shower image doesn't open, this is the link: https://i.ytimg.com/vi/2IF0hQ-8NGI/maxresdefault.jpg 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! the lyrics are from 4 o'clock by Taehyung and RM


	23. Twenty Three

 

 

 

it was the third night hyungwon was spending at wonho's house and he was utterly impressed and fascinated by how much effort the man put into his work. he was always busy, not having a second to himself, even working at home after he and taehyung both had fallen asleep. wonho had told them to sleep on his king sized bed from day1. he had opposed but the latter told him he wasn't gonna be able to sleep that much anyway and the little amount of time he had to sleep, would be on the chair in his studio cuz it had a massaging system as well so it helped him relax a bit. 

right now, it was 2 AM and there were company staff there at the house. arranging this and that about the upcoming album. wonho looked like a zombie, literally. he was really tired but still went along. 

" so these are the concepts we have settled for. tomorrow we're going to shoot the music video and then you'll have a few days to rest before the album release. " jongup said. wonho nodded and sat back , sinking in the sofa.

" ah... i forgot to ask" wonho spoke, rubbing his eye " was the song i gave Jackson well received?"

the staff laughed at him. " haven't you checked the charts?" one of them said still laughing

" i haven't had the time to blink." 

" it's been #1 ever since the release wonho!" jongup said

" really? that's a relief." wonho said sounding like he was talking in sleep

" do you want coffee? " hyungwon asked him upon seeing his state. wonho nodded. he stood up and went to the kitchen, pouring coffee in one of the mugs. when he came back wonho had already fallen asleep. he looked at jongup in question.

" leave him be. we're done here." they stood up " oh and don't wake him up. he won't be able to sleep if you do. just let him sleep here." and then they left. hyungwon felt bad for letting the man sleep in that position but it was better than not sleeping at all so he just put a blanket on him and went to sleep next to an already asleep taehyung in the most comfortable fluffy bed he had ever felt under his body.

 

when he woke up the next morning, wonho was already gone. he saw a note on the fridge " tell taehyung to call jongup when he wakes up. they'll send someone to pick him up. also i ordered soup, warm it up before eating."

hyungwon wasn't the type who ate breakfast, like ever but he had been eating for the past 4 days cuz wonho kept forcing him himself or just ordered and made him eat cuz otherwise he'd feel guilty for not eating the food the other had ordered for them.

 

hyungwon ended up bringing taehyung to the hospital with himself cuz the younger told him he missed lili and kai. when they went home ( wonho's ) that night, at 9 pm , they found wonho deep in sleep on the sofa with the outfit he probably wore when he had left in the morning. he was basically one with the sofa. they just showered quietly and went to bed themselves. hyungwon had a day off tomorrow so they'd all be at home if nothing came up. 

 

wonho was asleep until 1 pm the next day. only waking up to his phone ringing nonstop. hyungwon and taehyung had woken up at 8 and just stayed quiet so that the singer could get some good rest. wonho searched for hsi phone, which was on the carpet, with closed eyes, picking it up and placing it on his ear without sliding the green circle on the screen and then when the ringing hadn't stopped he whined " why are you still ringing?" it was obvious that he was still half asleep. hyungwon chuckled, taking the phone from his hand, sliding the answer icon and placing it on wonho's ear, keeping it there.

" hm?" 

" yeah, why?"

" ok. see ya." he answered and turned his way the other way, pushing his face further into the cushions. his voice was so beautifully hoarse that hyungwon had secretly wished for the call to last longer.

he had ended the call with a ' see ya' but he had gone back to the dreamland. hyungwon didn't know whether he had to make him wake up or not but decided to let him be cuz he had learned if something important was up, the latter would act super responsible towards it. so it must have been a casual thing.

one hour later the bell rang and wonho didn't even flinch. hyungwon opened the door and was met with three guys. the exact ones that had visited him at the hospita;.

" hyungwon? what are you doing here?"  shownu asked while walking inside

" i'm staying here for a week. long story." shownu nodded.

" where is the bunny?" hyungwon raised his eyebrow at the nickname kihyun had used but decided to not comment on it. " asleep. actually more like passed out." 

" that sounds just like him. tiring himself to the point of actual death." kihyun said before walking in the living room and the sofa.

changkyun just said a quick hi, looked at him with an unreadable expression and followed the other two inside.

" wonie , wake up." kihyun said nicely. wonho still didn't flinch. 

" wonho come on, i have gin tonic with me." shownu tried to trick him.

" you don't even know what a gin tonic is." a very sleepy hoarse voice said, still not moving an inch.

" aish hyung wake up already. i ditched my class to be able to see your stupid face today." a whining changkyun said while spanking his brother hard. wonho yelped at the hit but remained the same.

" i want to but i can't move my body. it doesn't listen to me." 

" that's what you get for not taking proper care of it. you'll die out of exhaustion at this point." kihyun said . " shownu help him stand up and take him to take a shower please while i cook something." 

shownu took wonho's body and made him stand up in one go, actually carrying his whole weight while grabbing him by the shoulder and leading him to the bathroom. 

" does this happen often?" hyungwon asked after sitting down on the kitchen chair. changkyun went to the bedroom after the two.  kihyun looked at the direction of the bedroom " yeah... he always overworks himself. he actually had a near death experience due to it. min found him cold on the ground of his studio. thank god he doesn't have the company's work on his shoulders anymore." 

" min? as in minhyuk? the one who hates cucumbers?" kihyun looked at him surprised 

" how do you know that?!" 

" he told me once. i have a good memory so..." 

" yeah the one who hates cucumbers." he chuckled. " he can give some parts of the job to others in order to have some time to rest but he likes to do it all himself. it's not perfect otherwise he says." the chef continued.

taehyung came out of the studio due to the new voices he was hearing. he earned himself a questioning look from kihyun but the latter didn't say anything about it.

that was when shownu rushed to the kitchen, taking a glass filling it with water and taking a medicine out of one of the cabins. while he was at it kihyun asked in a panicked voice " what's going on? " 

" he threw up." shownu replied and ran back to the bedroom. hyungwon and taehyung were shocked. they didn't know what was going on and hyungwon couldn't recall anything related to this in wonho's folder. so they rushed to the bathroom. changkyun had closed the curtains but they could hear wonho throwing up again and again and coughing roughly in between.

shownu kept rubbing his back and when he was not throwing up anymore he gave him the pill. after washing up, shownu and changkyun carried him out and helped him lie down on bed, covering him with three blankets as he was visibly shivering and paler than ever. the two were panicking not knowing what was this all about. 

" he has an allergic stomach. the stomach flu? he gets it upon eating something he shouldn't or when he exhausts his body beyond its limit. he'll be up in a couple of hours. let's give him some space for now." shownu explained. hyungwon looked at the shivering figure with worried eyes and left the room, taking tae with him.

changkyun came out later than everyone and closed the door quietly behind himself.

" i'll swear to god, we'll have to break his legs to make him take some proper rest some day." he said huffing

" chill kyun. you know how he is." shownu said patting the spot next to him for changkyun to sit.

" i know but still pisses me off. does he have to really die to fianlly see what he's doing to himself?" he sighed deeply, letting himself fall down on the sofa.

" what are you two doing here? who are you even?" he then asked while pointing at taehyung. taehyung hid himself behind hyungwon a bit, grabbing his shirt a little but still looking at the faces in front of them from hyungwon's shoulder.

" you know me, hyungwon, and this is taehyung. your brother's roommate from the hospital. he's staying here for a week and i'm here to ... observe the changes." he didn't wanna say he was there to ' keep an eye on taehyung' so he changed it to that. 

" i'm not gonna bite you taehyung. i'm probably even younger than you." changkyun said while approaching them, stopping a meter away and stretching his hand towards taehyung. the latter watched him and his hand closely before detaching himself from hyungwon's back. he took changkyun's hand and shook it while smiling brightly, showing his teeth, looking as adorable as ever. something changed in changkyun's facial expression as he too smiled widely. he put his hand over tae's shoulder and took him to the sofa. " do you like my hyung?" 

" hm, he's a very good person." changkyun hummed but frowned as well. " he is but he also can be such an asshole." taehyung only laughed.

" wanna see some embarrassing things he's done that we have on tape?" he asked the blond guy with a smirk. taehyung nodded repeatedly like a kid.

" you should go watch those too. you're gonna end up laughing your ass off. h can be such a stupid bunny sometimes." kihyun told hyungwon while cooking. the doctor took the advice and sat beside them. changkyun connected him phone to the tv via wifi and started playing all kinds of videos they had recorded from ages back to the ones wonho had the same color as now in. kihyun wasn't wrong. hyungwon had laughed so hard he literally shed tears cuz he couldn't laugh out loud. this singer was really something else. there was this video of him trying to high-five a crab at the beach and ended up getting his finger stuck or the one he cried loudly cuz he was too scared of the height when they had come out of the cabin on top of the mountain.there were too other people in addition to the ones here in those videos. one was the minhyuk he had heard of and the other was called jooheon or as they called him honey?! they all looked really happy together and all of them were really touchy with each other. and then this video played which made hyungwon's heart melt at how much of a softie wonho was. they had played a game and jooheon had lost, so they all had to hit his arm with two fingures. wonho didn't hit him and at the end of the video when they had changed the punishment to a finger-flick and minhyuk had lost, screaming ' i'm scared, i'm scared ' wonho had hugged the boy and caressed his hair gently. 

it was the middle of one of the videos with all of them in it when the bedroom door opened and wonho came out. hyungwon noticed how they had turned the video off quickly, trying to look nonchalant. wonho just looked at them without saying anything and went to the fridge. he looked a little bit refreshed. taking out the orange juice box and taking a sip, he noticed everyone was looking at him. he looked silly, standing there looking back at them while blinking with pouty lips and having a juice box in his hand. " what?!" he finally asked

" YOU MOTHERFUCKER! " changkyun shouted out of nowhere and rushed towards him, stopping right in front of his brother.

" Try scaring us one more time and i'll make sure to kill you myself." wonho started laughing softly, taking changkyun's head down and locking him with his arm to his side and ruffling his hair harshly with his other hand " oh smol kkukkung is angry at me. i love you too little brother." changkyun successfully freed himself after struggling for a moment ( or rather wonho let him go) and punched the older's bicep. " i'm serious hyung." 

" and i'm Dumbledore. nice to meet you." 

" not funny, like at all." changkyun rolled his eyes and rubbed his neck, probably sore from what wonho did.

" come on guys, food's ready. let's eat." kihyun called them

they all sat or stood around the counter eating the delicious food the chef had made for them. hyungwon couldn't help but be curious as to why the other two he saw in the video had never visited wonho. not in the hospital, not now. was one of them his ex? if yes, then why the other one wasn't there? 


	24. Twenty Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry i'm updating too fast. i just have to get it off my mind soon or i'll go insane!

 

 

it's true that wonho had been given a few days off but he just couldn't sit still. he had taken taehyung to the studio, making him make some beats or chords or whatever. he had taken him to the mall and bought him a few things and a lot of food and ice cream. he had even bought him a dream catcher in a hope of the item to work and take away the young boys' nightmares away. ' why don't you buy yourself one as well then? ' was what he thought. he was a master at having nightmares after all, convincing hyungwon that he wanted to sleep on the chair because it was ' relaxing' while the truth was that he didn't want the pink-haired beauty to see him shaking and sweating in his sleep. sure taehyung has seen it all but still he didn't want the doctor to know it as he had never mentioned anything about his nightmares.

hyungwon told him he's gonna be home late and that they shouldn't wait for him for dinner. he and tae ate while watching a movie and after taking his medicine, the younger drifted to dreamland on the sofa. knowing how he would panick if he was moved in his sleep, wonho let him sleep there and went to lie on his bed. when he put his head on the pillow he felt something strange. something was not right. he looked around and shifted, searching for what his mind was trying to tell him. and it finally hit him. his scent, the one he had dearly held on to, was gone. there were no signs of the scent of his cologne or his body anymore. it was replaced by another. taehyung never used anything. he just didn't like to have a scent under his nose all the time so that left hyungwon. his bed was now smelling like hyungwon. he didn't know how he felt about it. he was happy because he thought now that even the scent was gone maybe just maybe he could move on but sad because well,,, the scent of his lover was gone. rolling around he looked at his watch. it was 11 pm. ' why doesn't hyungwon come already? he left really early this morning. ' he decided to make a nice bubble bath with the pink bath bombs he had. so he did and he was so satisfied with the color it gave the water. it was so similar to the doctor's hair. he just loved his hair like that so much. it suit him the best. 

 

when the clock hit 12 AM the door finally opened, revealing an extremely exhausted frame. hyungwon looked like he was hardly carrying his weight. wonho took the bag from his hand and handed him a banana after the latter said he didn't want food. he just ate quietly before heading to the bedroom. 

" i made you a bubble bath. just stay there and let your body relax for a while. your muscles are so tense." 

" what muscles!" was the only thing the tall boy said before disappearing in the bathroom. he came out after an hour, having just a towel around his hips. not bothering with the water drops from his wet hair. wonho jumped up at the scene, taking a towel and putting it on hyungwon's head and drying his hair all the while the latter sat on the edge of the bed, half asleep.

" the water was pink!" he said after being quiet all night and giggled. " it was beautiful" 

" it was just like your hair color, right? i bought it cuz it looked the same." wonho laughed shortly remembering how he had only picked a dozen pink bath bombs because they were the same color. he caught hyungwon staring at him from under his bangs that were covering his big eyes. lips slightly parted. he looked beautiful. he always did but like this, half naked, wet skin, with wet hair , while sitting down on wonho's bed and wonho drying his hair with a towel, he was just unbelievably hot in addition to ridiculously beautiful. he didn't look seductive at all, he just looked incredibly innocent, pure. wonho found himself leaning in, lie hyungwon was the source of gravity, making him come closer and closer. only when a hot breath left hyungwon's mouth he realized what he was doing and stood straight again. looking around the room awkwardly he went into the bathroom with the excuse of putting the towel in the basket. ' what te fuck are you doing? ' was all he could think while looking at his reflection in the mirror. walking out he saw hyungwon fully dressed and lying on bed with his phone in his hand, clearly scrolling through something. wonho went there and lied down next to him " why haven't you slept yet? can't you see how tired you are?"  he asked trying to catch the phone from the younger's hands but the other was fast at reacting and not letting him succeed.

" that was one long process of putting a towel in a basket" hyungwon spoke still looking straight at his screen. wonho tried to analyze the tone of the other's voice, see what he meant or felt but it was just unreadable.

" i needed some time to put myself in place." 

" why?" the latter casually asked, voice incredibly calm

" cuz i would kiss you otherwise." he decided to be honest. hyungwon locked his phone putting it next to him and looked at wonho. 

" you don't want to?" he asked calmly yet again. like it was the most casual conversation ever. it was so unlike him. he was rather shy when it came to stuff like this usually. even when wonho teased him, he'd get blush all over his face but now he was too calm. 

" i would be insane if i didn't want to. your lips are gorgeous." he couldn't stop staring at those plump lips.

" then what's the problem? " hyungwon was looking at him. gaze jumping from his eyes to his lips, his hair and back to the lips.

" the problem is i can't just go around kissing whoever i want meaning using them for my own desires." he spoke in a breathy tone.  hyungwon was staring at him at this point. there they were , lying in one bed facing each other, less than half a meter gap between them and staring. that was until hyungwon held himself up on one elbow, closing the distance and putting his lips on wonho's. wonho was taken aback by the action, closing his eyes after a mere moment, he tried to kiss back. it was just a touch, smooth but so so relaxing. after what could have been both a short and a long time, hyungwon ditached his lips and leaned back a bit. their faces were extremely close, each feeling the other's breath on his skin while staring deep in the other's soul, searching for something. and then hyungwon leaned all the way back, turning around such that his back was towards wonho and whispered ' good night '  wonho licked his lips, trying to if he could taste hyungwon on his lips and whispered ' night pinkwon' back. he also turned around looking at the wall. they slept like that. their backs facing each other after having kissed for the first time.


	25. Twenty Five

 

 

Hyungwon was having a very busy and rough day, dealing with a new patient who had a very severe case and then lili was acting strange again and he was worried as fuck and to top all that, he had kissed wonho last night. he still didn't know what got into him and what made him move closer and kiss the guy, something he had wanted to do for a while now, but he knew that he had no idea how to confront wonho again. he wasn't sure if he could look the other in the eye anymore. he felt like he had ruined their little friendship or whatever it was they had between them. plus he was really confused. why did wonho lean in, in the first place? why did he say he wanted to kiss him? was it all because he had ' gorgeous lips'? his head hurt from all the thoughts flowing around his brain and he groaned hiding his head in his palms. tonight was the last night of him staying there, he would take taehyung back to the hospital with him tomorrow morning and he felt bad? cuz he had fucking kissed the first person he kind of felt genuinely attracted to and now it felt like it was gonna be a mess. how would wonho react tonight? he had no idea.

asking lili over and over again if anything was wrong but getting no proper reply was making him insane. he knew something was up but she just refused to talk. he had called yongguk to visit and he came quickly but even the latter couldn't get anything out of his sister. 'maybe i should ask wonho to talk to her? ' the thought crossed his mind but he shook his head to get rid of it. there was no way he could ask such a thing from the man right now.

so that's what lead to his current situation, sitting on sofa of wonho's house, with a plate in his hand, not eating and just playing with the food while being deep in thought he even didn't understand what taehyung was saying.

 

" hyungwon" 

" hyungwon?!"

" HYUNGWON" wonho had to call him three times in order to snap out of it.

" hm? what? what is it? " 

" what's wrong?" wonho asked while chewing.

" nothing." he sighed playing with his food again.

" i know something's up so spill. come on." wonho gestured with his hand

" i told you, nothing." wonho looked at him for a moment before he put his plate down, stood up, walked over and took his plate from his hand. 

" tae tae, would you mind if we go to the room for a short while?" wonho asked kindly and tae shook his head smiling and turning back to the tv. wonho grabbed hyungwon's wrist, making him stand up and took him to the bedroom. he felt like a powerless kid when wonho just lead him to the bed, turned him around by his wrist and pushed his shoulders down so he could sit on the edge of the bed and then sitting next to him. he was still looking at the doctor and there was worry in his eyes.

" what's going on? is it lili? "

" partly yes... she's ..." hyungwon sighed deeply " she's being really weird again. just like the last time. i'm worried sick." 

" the last time? " 

" she tried to kill herself once a long time ago and the behavioral pattern is the same again." wonho was shocked to hear that. he kind of knew it had happened in the past but still wasn't sure but now he did. the thought of hyungwon having to deal with it broke his heart. the boy in front of him was really a mess right now. he seemed so sad and lost. he wanted to do something to make him feel better. anything.

" is there anything i can do? maybe talk to her? take her out? anything? " he asked carefully looking the latter intently.

hyungwon simply shrugged while looking down at his own fingers, playing with the skin. " i don't know. my brain can't function right now." the singer's heart literally skipped a beat when he saw how broken the pink-haired boy sounded. he grabbed hyungwon's face with his hands on each side of his face, making him look at him. 

" hey, look at me. we're gonna go to the hospital together and i'm gonna talk to her. maybe she'll tell me what's wrong, ok? please don't be like this. i can't take seeing you in this state." 

something about what wonho said and the way he said it, made hyungwon break into tears. there were suddenly a flow of tears on his cheeks and he tried to free his head from the latter's hand and look down or maybe hide in the bathroom and cry but wonho didn't let him. instead, he hugged his head to his chest, caressing his hair gently, talking soothing words in his ear while placing a kiss or two on his head.hyungwon cried for a while and then wonho tugged him under the blankets, told him to sleep.

 

wonho did as promised. they all went to the hospital by hyungwon's car and wonho went straight for lili's room. after three knocks and a barely visible ' come on ' he entered the room. it was dark. all the curtains closed and no lights on. lili was lying on bed not doing anything in particular.

" hey lili " he said while sitting on the edge of the bed.

" hey won. i missed you." lili sat up and hugged him closely. wonho hugged her back, rubbing her back gently.

" i missed you too. why is it so dark in here? did you have a fight with the sun and now you're angry at her?" 

lili laughed shortly before letting go and lying back down. wonho lied down next to her, hugging her close and petting her hair.

" your jokes are still awful. but yeah, i guess we did have a fight. i can't stand any light right now. my eyes would hurt."  wonho looked down at her. 

" your eyes? have you seen an osteopathic doctor ?" 

" my eyes are ok. technically. i just can't stand light from time to time." she replied while playing with the fabric of his shirt.

" did hyungwon ask you to come?"  she asked hesitantly.

" no. but he told me about your condition. he's really worried lili. he cried for half an hour last night." he said in a calm low voice.

" i'm always sorry towards him. i stole away his dreams." she sounded utterly sad.

" he loves you so much." he placed a kiss on lili's head, smelling the nice perfume lili always used.

" so? wanna tell me what's going on in your head? what are you thinking about right now?" 

a few seconds passed before lili finally started talking " i'm tired of being here... i mean i'm safe here. especially with having my brother around but.. i miss yongguk and you and from what i see taehyung is doing a great job since you've come here. he'll leave soon and then there would be me. and with each day passing, i feel more and more horrible for doing this to hyungwon. he only became a psychologist because of me. he wanted to know why i am the way i am and help me get well. i wish i could just become like everyone else so he could move on with his life, doing what he likes instead of walking these halls everyday." she sighed, grabbing the shirt harder. " he used to go to the nature all the time or to the dance school. he was always out and now he's living like a robot, all because of having a sister like me. i hate myself. i hate myself in general but the first reason is because of doing this to him. i wish i wasn't adopted by our parents." her body was trembling and wonho checked to see if she was crying but there were no tears. so he just hugged her closer and caressed her back and head.

" but you being like this, hating yourself and all, makes him feel worse. he feels like he's useless when it comes to you." 

" i know... i don't know what to do. i can't even think of going back out there. people scare me. they are very violent and i hate them." she snuggled her head deeper in wonho's chest.

" is there anything i can do? " he whispered in her ear

" take care of him for me, would you? he really likes you. and i kindda think you like him too. even if you don't get close to him like that, would you be his friend and stay by his side?" lili was looking at him with eyes like of a puppy. pupils blown and eyes a little glassy.

" i promise. " he placed another kiss on lili's forehead, making her put her hair back on his chest.

 " but you have to do your part as well. you have to get better. my house has only one bedroom but i can always buy another one in the building so you can live there close to me, maybe with hyungwon by your side. or we can just send you to yongguk in a present box and have the two of you walking towards the sun hand in hand." 

" i told you i don't have a good relationship with that bitch." 

" ok then, towards the moon. you ok with the moon?" lili nodded " i love the moon." 

" ok then, we'll have you walk towards the moon hand in hand living happily ever after." there was silence before lili broke it.

" there is no happily ever after, those stories just haven't finished yet. everything ends ugly." 

" some don't. what about those who live a full life and die happily knowing they've fulfilled their dreams? it's rare but there are still a few people like that."

" you don't get it. it's ugly cuz after everything someone has to go through, all that's left in the end is just a sack of meat and blood. there's nothing more disgusting than a corpse. just an empty shell that will rot in a few days. i feel sick even thinking about it and then i wanna throw up when i think of being trapped inside one myself. i don't know who or what i am but i know for sure i'm not this disgusting needy body that just demands without giving anything back. so sure it's better if someone lives a happy life and dies a happy death but in the end, it's all pointless and no-one knows for sure what had made the body function in the first place or where that functioning system disappears to after the body dies. we are pathetic beings. not knowing anything about our very own existence."  wonho could only listen and think about what she was saying. she always put so many questions in his head that he wasn't sure he wanted to think about cuz they were confusing and depressing as hell. not knowing where you come from and where you'll go to? sure as fuck one of the things he never ever wanted to think about cuz there was no answer to it. and what was the point even? maybe he would find out everything after he'd die but he didn't wanna say that to lili cuz he was afraid it would encourage the girl to end her life and he did not want that. not for her. not for hyungwon.

after talking for a long time, lili fell asleep. he looked at his watch and he realized he had to go in about 30 minutes. so he slowly let go of lili and left her room. first he went to his old room, seeing tae playing with his phone and some new dude lying on the other bed that used to be yongguk's. he didn't pay attention to the guy and sat beside tae. 

" taehyungie, how did you like the past week? " he asked kindly

" i loved it hyung. thank you so much." 

" do you know how much my company loved the song you made while being with me in the studio? they want to master it even. " 

" for real?! " taehyung jumped on bed.

" yeah. don't you think it's time to come back? you can live with me. or i can get you a place." 

taehyung laughed shortly " i can afford a place myself hyung thank you. but... i don't know. honestly i've been thinking about it myself. let me sleep on it some more, ok?" 

wonho nodded squeezing tae's hand in his, giving him a reassuring smile.

 

" hyungwon, can i come in?" 

" sure, how did it go?" 

" basically she's feeling guilty for holding you back in here. saying she's the reason you're not going after your dreams, which i'm gonna ask about later, but for now, her most concern is you and she's having a fight with the sun, and she hates the neey human body and ... " wonho rubbed his chin " i think i've mentioned it all." he smiled and closed the distance between them, taking hyungwon's hands in his and looking into his eyes. the boy just stood there looking at him as well without a single word.

" listen, starting from exactly 45 minutes from now, i'm gonna be super busy. i'll be recording music videos and practice the dance and everything else and then when the album releases, i'm gonna be promoting it nonstop for about two months. i'll have little to no time to visit but you can visit me if you ever felt like it ok? also, call me if anything happened. no, just call me whenever you want. i'll pick up if i'm able to. if not, leave a message and i'll call you when i can. i'm sorry i can't stay longer or be there for you and lili and tae at this situation. " he rubbed the back of hyungwon's hands with his thumbs. the doctor was just looking at him in awe. he blinked a couple of times and nodded hesitantly while swallowing. he looked super cute like that and wonho's heart was melting. but why? sure hyungwon was beyond beautiful. he was a mixture of beautiful, sexy and cute but he was still in love with the only person he ever dated. what was this feeling of adoration that he was feeling for hyungwon? he couldn't pin it down. with one last squeeze of the hand and then ruffling the pink hair, he said goodbye, leaving the tall boy speechless in his office.


	26. Twenty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone~  
> you may wanna watch these music videos before reading this chapter :  
> Monsta X - Stuck  
> JJY band - OMG  
> Monsta X - If only
> 
> we're gonna assume JYJ's song is one of wonho's in this story along with some other songs i'll mention later. i hope you enjoy it <3

 

Wonho wasn't lying about being super busy. he was out of reach for a whole week, and he had only managed to text back a couple of times before passing out somewhere in the studio or the practice room. hyungwon was worried whether he was having one of those stomach issues again due to the overwork but he didn't wanna make wonho uncomfortable by asking about it. so he could only wish the latter was doing good. today his title track's music video would be played on tv and tonight the album would be released. hyungwon had heard the melody to most of the songs but never heard the lyrics, only the one wonho himself seemed to hate. it was near 4 o'clock and the five of them, meaning lili, taehyung, kai, himachan and him, were gathering in himchan's room, in front of the tv, waiting for the mv to be played. and whet it did, their jaws had dropped all the way to the ground. 

the song, the melody, the lyrics, the dance were all on point. and wonho was super sexy and he had blond hair. b.l.o.n.d hair! 

  {consider the rest of MX being dancers hehe }

" well,,, that was interesting." himchan said when the mv ended.

" that was AWESOME. " lili and tae screamed together.

" that boy can dance damn!! " was kai's comment.

hyungwon had a blush on his face and was the first one to excuse himself out of the office. 

 

hyungwon stopped at a music shop and bought wonho's new album on it's way home. he was already in love with the cover. it was a mixture of black and dark green. when he got home, he wasted no time in putting the dvd inside the laptop and pressing the play button. he listened to the songs while looking at the album jackets thoroughly. wonho was really hot with blond hair.

{ the album tracklist: 

Stuck

If only

omg

X

lost in the dream

black swan

4 o'clock

5:14

in time } 

 

he didn't know which song was his favorite cuz he simply loved it all. the song tae had made was amazing and wonho had sang it beautifully, but song after song, he felt more pain in his heart by listening to the lyrics...

 

 _' I miss you so I drew you_  
_I’ll fold it nicely and let the wind take it away_  
_If you receive the warmth that was us_  
_I hope that you’re full of what it was then_  
_Am I selfish or am I not_  
_If you’re the same as me, then please tell me_  
_It’s okay if we’re different, just_  
_I want to hear your voice calling me_

 _Can I cut away today_  
_So that tomorrow can’t come_  
_It hurts so stay still like we were yesterday_  
_Can we talk when we’re there   - if only '_

 

 

 

 _' Every night I search for you in the same dream_  
_I want to stop but I can’t escape it_  
_When the moon rises, it starts_  
_The nights always repeat the same_

_Like I’m plunging, I fall into this deeply penetrating dream_

_call me, you hold me, you_  
_I burn_ in _this moment_  
_Can’t ever wake from this dream_  
_Call me you, hold me even if it’s a fantasy_

 _This may be really a prophetic dream_  
_Every time it repeats, my wishes in one hundred days of dreaming_  
_The sharp crescent moon, there’s wolf cries in my ears_  
_At the same_ time _it starts again, your voice is searching for me   - lost in a dream '_

 

 

 _' We gotta slow it down_  
_Remember this moment_

 _These days, I can’t fall asleep_  
_I’m just tossing and turning every day_  
_Time just keeps ticking_  
_Everyone’s probably asleep, maybe_  
_I_ imagine, _if our story was a book_  
_What would the ending be like?_  
_It’s 5:14_ AM, _when everyone else is asleep_  
_On that last page   - 5:14 '_

 

 

 

 _' When I feel that the memories are foolish_  
_When I think about feeling those moments_  
_As they become happiness_  
_I bite my lower lips_  
_And wrote down the emotions in many notebooks_

 _In time, time please stop_  
_So I can see that beautiful light_  
_In time, so in this time and place_  
_You can come into my arms_  
_Wait for me_

 _Time is telling me_  
_January, February to December_

 _I’m looking around me_  
_Now erase all those numbers   - in time '_

 

 

Wonho must have really loved this guy wholeheartedly was what hyungwon thought to himself and actually felt envious cuz no-one ever loved him like that and he never loved anyone like that either. 

hyungwon woke up to the news of the album doing an ALL KILL on the charts after three days of being released and it was even #1 on billboard. he wrote a message to wonho cuz he didn't wanna pussibly wake him up by calling. ' hey, congratulations on the All Kill. the album deserves it all. it is a masterpiece. ' 

it was lunch time and everyone was in the dining room with the big tv on the news channel. when the pop culture section came on, the mc announced that they had wonho in the studio for an exclusive interview. 

 

   { what he was wearing, aslo his hair and makeup } 

" today we have one of the most successful solo artists in the industry with us. his new album has been been number one on the charts ever since the release. let's greet the one and only Wonho. "

the camera showed a very well styled wonho in all his glory and people at the dining room started clapping their hands and saying how handsome he was out loud.

" Thank you for being with us here today. "

" it's my pleasure. thanks for having me here." 

" so i've heard you wrote this album in less than two months. is that true? how can that be even possible?" 

wonho smiled shyly " yes, i was given some sort of a deadline and i was kind of overflowing with emotions, also surrounded by supportive friends and it all made the album happen." 

" but it's so good. every track has it's own story to tell. the powerful beats in stuck, omg, black swan and X are just unbelievable and you can't help but dance along whereas the emotional songs can make you cry."

" thank you." wonho bowed his head smiling one of those gummy smiles when it made his eyes the shape of the moon.

" how did you feel while writing the lyrics to the emotional ones? are they personal or are they stories from otther people? cuz we heard you had recently broken up..." 

wonho shifted in his chair a little, thinking about his answer before talking " it was personal. i went through a tough time the past few months and i wrote the lyrics while i was looking back at my actions and memories so yeah, it's pretty personal. although i made it so that people can also relate to what i was trying to say. " 

the mc nodded at every sentence, she couldn't get her eyes off of the singer!

" there's this one song, X , that has a different vibe. you know the songs are either hype and energetic or really emotional, but this one also seems to be a personal song, at least to me, but with a special kind of swag in it." the mc laughed out loud gesturing a dab and wonho laughed too, also doinga a dab after her. nodding he replied " yeah, X is actually a respond to the ones who like talking behind my back somehow. i don't like the diss tracks so i kind of mixed what i wanted to tell them with other things and that lead to X as it is. i'm impressed you figured it out." 

the mc blushed so hard it was visible even through the tv screen. 

" what are your plans now? are we expecting a world tour? "

" definitely. the album promotions will be up for two months and after that we're planning on a world tour and some other scheduals i can't talk about right now." 

" there was a track which you didn't make yourself. 4 o'clock. many people where surprised when they saw V's name there cuz he hadn't been working for a long time now."

wonho inhaled, his chest rising and falling before answering " V is a very dear friend of mine and i can't talk any further. but i hope he gets back to the industry very soon." 

" alright, thank you for being here. i hope you the best of luck on your upcoming scheduals. wonho ladies and gentlemen." 

and with that the interview finished.

 

 

not a long while after hyungwon's phone rang. it was wonho.

" hey hyungwon, sorry i couldn't call you earlier. i saw your message. thanks." 

" it's ok. you were really handsome at the interview by the way."

" oh you watched it? thanks." wonho giggled on the other end

" yeah, everyone did basically. it was the lunch time." 

" oh hahahaha i'm glad then. how's everything? how's lili? " 

" she's better, finally back to letting the light in." 

" oh, that's great. how's tae? has he decided anything yet?" 

" not yet... but i think he will soon. he's been writing some stuff." 

" wow! this is really the best day of my life." he paused " last but not least, how are you? "

" well... i'm fine i guess. apart from the fact that one of the nurses asked me out and i had to reject. it was a really awkward situation."

" REALLY? " he laughed out loud " who was it? omg so cuuute . i would die to see your face in that situation. you must have been as red as a tomato." he laughed some more. hyungwon huffed into the phone.   
" it was mary. hey don't make fun of me asshole bunny." 

" bunny?! where did you learn that nickname from?! " 

" kihyun."

" aaaaaaah..." he giggled but hey, don't call me asshole. everyone else can but not you." 

hyungwon was about to say something when he heard some loud screaming, assuming fans, on the other end of the line and then wonho semi-shouted into the phone " i have to go now. thanks again. take care pinkwon." and then there was silence. 

 

 

in the following week, two more music videos have been released and one of them had caused so many articles. people had been devided to two groups. one that loved it as it was a concept singers rarely touched and the other pissed off at the not so suitable footage. 

hyungwon himself was shocked after seeing the music video of the song OMG. how there was alcohol, girls and smoke all over the place. even the scene with wonho where he was in bed with two girls at once. he just didn't know whether he liked it or not but decided that it was really interesting to watch while he wanted to punch the guy for drinking so much alcohol and actually smoking something in the video. so many people had attacked wonho that the company had to speak up and tell people that it had a +19 warning at the beginning of the video and they could simply not watch if they were sensitive to such content. of course the fire didn't disappear but the fans somehow shut the negative comments down and flooded wonho with supportive messages all over the media. wonho had been silent during this whole thing and had only updated his instagram after the fans showed their support and told him they liked the music video. 

the other music video was just wonho walking around spain, singing If Only. and until then, hyungwon had no idea when wonho had left korea to film this mv.

 

{ wonho's update: ( the hair is blonde ) }

**WonHo**

**1,068,453 likes       12598 comments**

#wonbebe is it over? can i come out? kkkk thank you for supporting me. you have my whole heart forever. saranghae <3


	27. Twenty Seven

 

 

Two months have gone by fast for wonho while he was promoting his album.  between the showcases, the concerts and the fanmeetings and traveling here and there occasionally and not having time to even sleep properly, he wasn't really able to have a phone call that lasted more than 2 minutes.

but now the promotion was done with, and he had 10 days before going on the world tour. he still had schedules in the meantime but he was free for most of it. coming home from his last fanmeeting, he took a shower and collapsed on his bed, sleeping for 22 hours straight.

wonho was lying on his stomach with his head deep in the pillows, he was awake but still didn't wanna wake up. he heard digits and then the sound that resembled his front door opening. there were only three people who had his passcode, no wait- four. he had given it to hyungwon as well. he assumed it's changkyun since he was the only person who knew he's back from his Singapore fanmeeting so he simply didn't move an inch. a few seconds later, he heard footsteps getting closer and then someone laid beside him. turning his head to see who it is, he saw a face he had missed dearly. before he knew, there were tears in his eyes, drops landing on the pillow under his head. the latter came closer and put his hand around wonho's shoulder while wiping a few of his tears. they stayed like that, looking at eachother for a long time. wonho was the first one to break the silence when the tears finally stopped.

" you're back?" he was replied with a hum and a hand brushing his hair out of his face repeatedly.

" you've lost so much weight. where are my muscles? " 

wonho chuckled bitterly " i haven't had the motivation to work out that hard really. " 

the latter just smiled at him and moved closer, hugging wonho's head to his chest while caressing his hair. wonho hugged him back and fell asleep soon after cuz the scent and the hand in his hair was like a sleeping pill to him. 

 

 

he had just come out of the shower when his bell rang. opening his door, he was met with the trio. he started joking around and bullying changkyun as usual, smiling widely and laughing at every dad joke shownu was saying. basically, he was on the fucking cloud nine.

" you're in a good mood! " kihyun stated

" hell yeah i am." he answered while having changkyun locked between his legs to prevent him from getting his hands on the remote.

kihyun laughed at them " something happened or what? " 

" jooheon was here. " he replied and the room fell silent.  even changkyun stopped trying to free himself and turned to look at him. " he's back?" 

wonho nodded repeatedly and smiling like a fool. the other three just exchanged looks between themselves and didn't leave any comments on that.

 

 

hyungwon felt his phone buzzing in his pocket but he was in a middle of a counseling session and had to ignore it. the vibration didn't continue for long but then he got a short buzz which indicated that he had a message.

after the session finished, he took his phone out and saw wonho's name, both on the missed call and the message notification.

" hey won, are you free tonight? the guys are here, so come here and bring tae and lili with you if you can. if you can't bring them, just come yourself. i have someone to introduce to you as well."

he started typing " i'm free after 10. would that be ok? also, lili is with yongguk but i'll see if i can bring tae."  soon after he received the reply " yeah, the guys are coming around that time as well since they all have jobs and i'm the only couch potato here." 

" you've worked your ass off for the past three months, i think you're allowed to be a potato for now. " hyungwon replied. ' this guy!!! the first day of his resting time and he feels like he's a couch potato. ' he thought to himself. he knew wonho was someone who had to be doing something all the time, even when he was here he always made himself busy with something but he didn't know it was this serious. the guy was feeling guilty for resting!! and he had worked 25/8 nonstop for the past three months.

the doctor for the next shift came a little bit sooner so he was able to leave at 9 with taehyung.

they arrived there at 9:45 flat. ringing the bell, he was met with a very happy looking wonho, greeting them and hugging them both tightly.

" come in, come in. god i've missed you guys so much." hyungwon couldn't help but laugh at how hype wonho was. he had never seen him like this. he was supposed to be tired as hell with big dark circles under his eyes or something but here he was with his face as bright as the sun itself.

tae didn't waste anytime and attached himself to wonho, hugging his neck from behind and following him like that to the kitchen. the singer handed a glass of wine to hyungwon and was about to pour some orange juice for tae when the koala on his back whined " i'm not a kid hyung. i can handle my wine you know." wonho looked at the doctor for permission and he was answered with a nod so he gave tae a glass of wine as well.

hyungwon sat on a chair while sipping on the wine. " so the promotion is finally finished?" 

wonho was playing with taehyung's hair, teasing him and poking his cheek while giggling. he answered without looking at hyungwon " yeah. kindda. i'll still have interviews and stuff." 

taehyung was ready to fight back,so he took wonho's hand and bit him. not hard but it still left his teeth mark on the pale skin. wonho was fake screaming cuz let's face it! taehyung didn't have the heart to hurt him with a full-force bite and then someone came out of the bedroom with a towel around his hips and one on his head, drying his hair furiously. upon seeing them in the kitchen, the latter stopped, looking a little bit shocked with his eyes narrowed and lips a little parted letting a short ' oh ' out. and then he continued walking towards wonho and poured himself a glass of wine, looking at hyungwon and taehyung enthusiastically. taehyung didn't know him and because he had come too close to wonho ( and he was still dangling from wonho's back ) , he detached himself from the singer and went to hyungwon's side, sitting there quietly.

" so are you gonna introduce us or nah? " the latter poked wonho by his elbow and gestured with his head.

" oh! right!" wonho giggled. he was being really hype! " the pinkie is hyungwon. my doctor from the hospital and the blondie is taehyung. dude, i forgot to tell you. he is V. the V!! " the latter's eyes widened and he choked on his wine, coughing roughly. wonho started laughing out loud and patting the guy's back rapidly, looking at tae with heart-shaped eyes. the guys finally stopped coughing and stretched his hand toward tae and bowed his head a little. taehyung shook his hand and smiled crookedly. and then the guy stretched his hand towards hyungwon " this guy forgets his own name when he's this hype so i'm gonna introduce me myself. i'm jooheon. nice to meet you both."  jooheon, right. the guy in the videos hyungwon had watched a couple of months back.

jooheon circled his arm around wonho's shoulder while being really close to him and having mere centimeters between their faces " i see you still have the eyes for making friends with beautiful people." he clearly teased the singer which earned himself a spank " yah! you'll make me look bad if you say it like that." wonho replied with pouty lips. that, the pouty face, hyungwon hadn't seen before either. 

" ok ok got it. put your lips back where it belongs or we'll step on them while walking." jooheon moved his head up and down while talking with narrowed eyes and put his index fingure on wonho's bottom lip, pushing it up. wonho didn't react at first but then he slapped his hand away and poked a dimple on jooheon's face " go get dressed dimples. the guys will be here soon." 

hyungwon and taehyung were just sitting there. both in awe but different kinds of awe. taehyung was genuinely enjoying the scene while hyungwon felt like there were butterflies in his stomach. gulping down the rest of his wine, he went to the living room and turned on the tv. wonho must've noticed the change in his facial expression when he asked " is something wrong? " while walking towards him. hyungwon shook his head looking at him. wonho was still halfway in the living room when jooheon called him from the bedroom and he turned around going to that direction instead.

they could hear their conversation perfectly well in the living room cuz they were being so loud.  
" yah! where are my favorite sweatpants? " 

" which ones? "

" HOW MANY FAVORITE SWEATPANTS DO I HAVE? THE DARK GREEN ONES ." 

 " ouch, that hurtttt. there must be somewhere in there. i didn't throw it away." 

" well i can't find it." 

" didn't you take it with you when you were leaving? " 

" ha? i don't think so. " pause " i'll just wear something else for now but remember, this is NOT over." 

the bell rang again and wonho rushed to open it. jooheon rushed out as well and changkyun literally jumped him, locking his legs around the dimple guy and not willing to let go.  
" hyung, i missed you soooo much. he's not wrong for calling you evil dimples. you're evil for leaving like that." shownu made changkyun let go and hugged jooheon firmly, patting his back and letting go " welcome back honey." he smiled and wrinkles were shaped at the corners of his eyes. the last one to get close and hug the apparently recently back from god knows where, was kihyun. he was happy but there were also signs of cautiousness in his eyes. " so you're back to stay or ...? " 

" i'm back to stay ki. " 

" wow. you completely forgot about me here. you haven't seen me in two months as well." wonho said crossing his arms on his chest and leaning against the wall.

" we see your stupid face on tv all the time. but come here, cuz i've missed you so much." changkyun said before basically suffocating his brother in the tight hug.

after all that, they finally noticed the presence of hyungwon and taehyung in the living room. 

" hey you two. " kihyun greet them. " let's eat first guys cuz the food i brought would be no good if it gets cold." 

 

gathering around the counter as usual, hyungwon, taehyung, kihyun and changkyun seated and the other three standing, taehyung shouted all of a sudden " I JUST REMEMBERED! " they all stared at him. " JOOHEON! i've been thinking where i heard that name before. are you Lee Jooheon? the producer of white love ? " jooheon's dimples appeared due to smiling " yeah, i kindda got disappointed when you didn't recognize me." 

" i've never seen your face!! but i love the music you make. wow. " taehyung smiled widely. hyungwon caught wonho's eyes staring at him but lowered his eyes to his plate immediately. still, he could feel wonho's eyes on him throughout the whole night. 

they were all gonna sleep there that night. hyungwon didn't know they were supposed to be staying there beforehand so he didn't have any clothes with him. or for taehyung. so he told wonho that he'll take tae to his apartment with him but all of the guys who overheard this , shouted and said they had to stay.

taehyung had become really comfortable around the guys, especially changkyun and they kept fooling around earning a few scolds from kihyun here and there while jooheon laughed and encouraged them.

" hyungwon, don't you wanna take a shower? " wonho asked him at some point while the other guys were playing video games.

" why? do i stink? " he said with a straight face. wonho frowned shortly.

" no. but you're getting sleepy and you always wash before bed so i think it's time you took a shower." hyungwon assumed that jooheon overheard them cuz he gave wonho a quick glance but couldn't keep it for long due to the game he was playing.

hyungwon walked to the shower and noticed the toothbrush he used while being here, was still there. so was taehyung's. and now there was one more. he just took his and brushed his teeth before taking a quick shower and coming out with a towel around him. wonho walked into the room as he walked out of the bathroom.

" why didn't you wash your hair?" he asked while going to the cloth room, searching for something.

" it's not dirty." wonho came out with tshirt and sweatpants in his hand and handed them to hyungwon. " wear these and then sleep if you want. the guys are gonna keep playing the whole night probably." he paused and looked at him intently " hyungwon, what's wong? you're not being yourself." 

" nothing's wrong. i'm just a bit tired." 

" i've seen you tired before so don't lie to me. is something wrong with lili again?"

" should lili be the only reason for me feeling bad all the time? " he said before knowing the harsh tone he had used.

" so you are feeling bad. " wonho took his hands and lead him to the bed, making him seat and then kneeling in front of him, looking up into his eyes. " what is it ? you can tell me."  his voice was so gentle and he kept rubbing hyungwon's hands that he was still holding, with his thumbs.

" it's.... nothing. " wonho just kept examining his facial features. 

" you know i.... i really missed you. i so wanted to hug you more than just three seconds when you arrive tonight but you're being really distant. have i done something that made you upset?" 

hyungwon just kept looking at the eyes that were looking back into his. so soft yet having a strong gaze to them. he couldn't hold the eye contact for more than 40 seconds and he looked away. 

" so that's a yes. " wonho grabbed hyungwon's chin and made him look at him, his hand still in place. " tell me what i did to make you look like that. " 

" i....  " he paused, thinking about what he wanted to say " i'm just really tired. could you close the door behind you so that i can sleep in quiet? " he said taking wonho's hand off his chin and freeing his other hand from the latter's in an attempt to standing up. " sure." was all wonho said before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. hyungwon was happy that he was successful at turning the subject around but also felt bad cuz wonho had left. he kind of wished he had stayed more. maybe asked him one more time what was wrong but then he knew he still wouldn't be able to tell the truth. not while the singer was all touchy with jooheon guy. 

 


	28. Twenty Eight

 

 

wonho couldn't stop thinking about hyungwon's behavior for the past two days. he had left early when they woke up the next morning, leaving him a message to take taehyung back himself when he woke up. and wonho did. he took tae to the hospital after asking him whether he had thought about going back to the business or not but tae said he was still thinking. he asked for hyungwon but they said neither hyungwon nor lili were at the hospital.

the first thing he did was to call hyungwon. dialing his number he was met with ' the number your dialing is out of reach. ' 

so he called lili but her phone was turned off. being desperate, he dialed yongguk's number and pressed the call button. a few rings and the older picked up.

" hyung! thank god you answered. is lili with you? " 

" wonho?! hmm.. she was but heyungwon picked her up this morning. " 

" oh... so they're ok. " 

" yeah, they're fine, why? did something happen? hyungwon was acting strange. "

" i don't know what's wrong but i noticed it too. anyway, thanks. take care. " 

he was about to hang up when yongguk called his name into the phone 

" wonho, wait, do you ,,, ah... do you have feelings for lili or hyungwon? " 

" WHAT?! no, of course not! " 

" are you sure? you spent half the time you were in the hospital talking and cuddling with lili, the other half talking with hyungwon and cuddling with taehyung. but let's just leave tae out of this cuz everyone loves him. " 

wonho was quiet for a couple of seconds " i adore the siblings hyung, just like i adore taehyung. i just show my feelings without filter so i'm sorry if that had lead to misunderstanding. i'm not in love with lili, you can be sure of that." 

" sure wonho, call me if something was up. "

 

 

another four days have passed without any sign of hyungwon answering his calls or texting back. deciding enough is enough, he called kai and asked when hyungwon shift would be over. grabbing a jacket and calling a cab, cuz he had given his car to jooheon for the day, he left his house. he arrived just in time as the doctor was walking out of the hospital and to his car.

" hyungwon " he shouted loud enough to be heard. hyungwon's eyes widened upon seeing him, but that was the only reaction as the latter just continued putting his stuff on the backseat. 

" why are you ignoring me? " 

" i'm not ignoring you. " hyungwon closed the door and started walking to the other side of the car when wonho grabbed his arm. 

" yes you are. even now you're running away. " hyungwon sighed. " i'm not running away wonho. i'm having a terrible headache so i can barely stand. i just wanna get home as fast as possible and clash on my bed." 

" ok then, give me the keys." hyungwon lifted an eyebrow at him, wonho wasted no time in stealing the keys out of his hand, opening the passenger seat door and forcing hyungwon inside. he got in the car himself and fastened his belt.

" the address." hyungwon had his head on the window and just looked at him in question. he really looked out of it.

" give me the address to your house hyungwon. or do you wanna come to my house? whatever you choose. " hyungwon simply pushed a button on the navigator and a path appeared before leaning back and closing his eyes. when they arrived, he parked at a free spot, not sure if it was hyungwon's and got out. turning around the car, he opened the passenger seat's door.

" we're here hyugwon. let's go. " hyungwon didn't flinch. his eyes were closed so wonho assumed he was asleep. only when he bent down to wake him up, did he notice the sweat and shiver of the latter's body. he unfastened his belt fast and put a hand on his forehead. he was having a fever. a very bad one, he was burning. he slapped hyungwon's cheeks gently a couple of times, calling his name until the latter whined and turned his head the other way. 

" hyungwon, hyungwon, can you hear me? where does it hurt? " upon getting no response, he installed the belt again and got in the car, driving to the nearest hospital. hugging him bridal style and taking him inside, he was met with curious stares. that's when he realized he didn't even have a mask on but he really couldn't care less right now.

the nurses told him to put hyungwon down on a bed while a doctor examined him.

they gave him a pill and injected him with IV and told wonho he could be discharged when IV was finished. so he just sat there by his bed and held his hand, occasionally brushing the hair that kept falling on his face, away. after half an hour, hyungwon opened his eyes. looking around and at wonho in confusion, he asked " why am i here? " he sat up and moved the hand that had the IV in, which made it misplace a little and so he hissed because of the pain.

" BEcareful, what are you doing" wonho looked at the needle to see if there was any blood but it looked okay. he sighed in relief. " you were having a terrible fever." he placed his hand on hyungwon's forehead " which you still do but it's way better now. you were completely unconscious." 

hyungwon looked at him for a couple of seconds before he suddenly looked down with his head hanging as low as possible. wonho didn't think much of it until he saw tears dropping on the younger's hand. panicking, he stood up, cupped hyungwon's face and made the latter look at him " what is it? are you hurt? why are you crying? " his heart was beating so fast, he couldn't take the latter looking like that.

" lili..." was all hyungwon could say before bursting out into tears and staring desperately at the guy in front of him. wonho sat on the edge of the bed as close to hyungwon as possible and pulled him into a hug. pressing the guy's head to his chest and stroking his hair he tried to ask carefully " what about lili? talk to me hyungwon." 

hyungwon was sobbing loudly " she... she left hyung. i can't - i can't find her. "

wonho froze. what did he mean she left? she left where? 

" what... do you mean hyungwon? " he didn't wanna worsen the sobs of the boy in his arms but he had to know where lili was.

" she texted me to pick her up after you left the room that night and i did. she told me to bring her to a shack we used to go when we were kids and the next morning when i woke up, she was just gone. all she left was a note saying i shouldn't look for her anymore and i should start living fo or myself at last. i checked everywhere. every station, every airport and hotel but she's just- she's just gone. " his whole body was trembling and the tears were like a waterfall. wonho felt completely helpless. he didn't have anything to say to help calm down the crying boy and he didn't know what to assume lili meant by not looking for her. so he just continued letting the boy cry his heart out while all he could do was caressing his hair and rubbing his back smoothly. after around another half an hour, a nurse came in and was surprised by the scene in front of her as hyungwon still hadn't stopped crying. she didn't comment on it and just checked on the IV. it was finished so she announced she was gonna remove the needle kindly and took hyungwon's hand which the latter didn't react to and kept his head buried in wonho's chest, probably refusing to show his tears to the nurse and get embarrassed because of it.

" you can go home now but make sure he gets enough rest and eats well. his body is really weak. " she said smiling and leaving them soon after. wonho made hyungwon look at him by lifting his face using a little force cuz the guy didn't wanna look up as it seemed.

" you heard her. i'm taking you home. you're gonna eat, shower and sleep. then we're gonna look for lili together from tomorrow. ok? " hyungwon sobbed again but nodded anyway. wonho wiped the tears again but it was no use as they kept falling one after the other. it hurt him physically to see the younger like that.

 

when hyungwon noticed they were going to wonho's house, not his he opposed. saying he wanted to go to his.

" knowing you, you probably have no decent food apart from tons of snack in your house and i can't leave you in the car to get some groceries. besides i'm waiting for a few calls and emails and i'm not gonna leave you alone like this, so we're going to my house. now please stop crying. you're gonna be seriously dehydrated at this point." he said while wiping the tears away yet again.

hyungwon rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand like little kids do " sorry, i can't help it. i just held them back until i cracked after seeing you." wonho grabbed his hand and squeezed it and just kept it there for the rest of the ride.

when they arrived he made hyungwon a bubble bath and told him to get in there and relax a bit while he made him some food. after cooking, he went to check on hyungwon. calling his name a few times and getting no reply, he panicked and walked in to see hyungwon in the bathtub with closed eyes. the panic didn't go away and he knelt down beside the tub and checked his forehead. the fever was going high again and hyungwon appeared to be asleep. now wonho knew hyungwon was a heavy sleeper and with the addition of the sleeping pills he was given on their way out of the hospital, there was no way he could wake this person up. he couldn't leave him in the tub either, he would have tons of water under his skin by the time he would wake up so he had no choice but to get him out. fortunately, hyungwon had washed up before sitting in the tub so all he had to do was to rinse his skin from the bubble products. he looked at hyungwon, not knowing how the latter would feel when he realizes he had seen him naked but decided to just let go of that thought for now. still, he called hyungwon 5-6 times, slapping his cheeks softly but as he predicted, the other didn't even flinch.

putting a hand around his shoulder and another one under his knees, wonho picked hyungwon up and out of the bathtub. the action made a big amount of water fall on him but he just didn't care about that at the moment. turning the shower on and sitting on a chair with hyungwon in his arms, he tried rinsing his skin while moving one of the shower heads along his body. he knew this wasn't the appropriate situation and he shouldn't be feeling like this at that moment, and especially with having an unconscious hyungwon in his arms, looking innocent and pure and all of that, but he couldn't help feeling fascinated by how gorgeous he was. his skin tone was just heavenly. it was like gold, the kind of light-tan people would kill themselves for. in addition to that, he had lean limbs. so beautiful that wonho found himself staring at him and not moving the shower head as he was supposed to. and to his surprise it was the face he was staring at, not the parts hyungwon would be deadly embarrassed when he'd find out about this. after hours of crying and biting his lips, he had swollen everything. eyes, face, lips. aaah those lips. wonho had been craving to kiss him ever since that night hyungwon had put their lips together, barely touching but he wanted to kiss him, really and passionately. for a long time. he shook his head to snap out of it and not taking advantage of the sleeping beauty in his embrace. so he turned off the shower with hyungwon in his hands and took a huge fluffy towel out of the shelf and wrapped hyungwon with it. coming out of the shower and putting hyungwon on the bed, he covered him with a blanket and left him like that to go change his wet clothes. 

only when he turned around he saw jooheon at the doorframe, with an unreadable expression on his face.

" so, half a year was enough for you to fall in love with someone else? " 


	29. Twenty Nine

 

" so, half a year was enough for you to fall in love with someone else?"

wonho walked to jooheon, took his hand and guided him out of the room, closing the door behind him and walking them both to the living room.

" what are you talking about? " he let go of jooheon's hand once they were next to the glass wall.

" really wonho? you're gonna deny it? really? " jooheon looked mad

" i'm not in love with hyungwon! " wonho said while laughing crookedly and gesturing with his hands.

" whatever helps you sleep at night. " jooheon let himself fall down on the sofa and put his head on the backrest, looking at the ceiling. wonho sat next to him doing the same. jooheon broke the silence " i'm sorry for leaving like that. i didn't mean the things i said. " 

" it's ok. i deserved it all. " wonho answered in low voice.

" you partially did but it's not like the situation wasn't clear from the start. it was obvious that you would be busy most of the time. maybe if i had stepped up sooner this whole mess wouldn't even happen in the first place. " 

wonho took his hand in his and squeezed it " i'm just happy you're back. that's all that matters to me right now. you have no idea how much i missed you. " he paused " you're my best friend jooheon. you've always been and you'll always be. i'm sorry i put you in a situation like that. " 

jooheon smiled back at him and changed his position so he could put his head on wonho's lap and turned the tv on while wonho stroked his hair. 

 

 

hyungwon woke up to the sound of coffee machine. looking around, he remembered why he was here and then panicked when he saw the time, cuz it was 11 and he was supposed to be at the hospital at 8. jumping up, he felt funny and when he saw himself being naked, only with a towel around his hips, he laid back and pulled the blanket over his head. he didn't wanna believe the plot his head was coming up with but he really didn't remember anything after going into the tub. did wonho really see him naked? most importantly, did he actually wash his?!  ' way to go hyungwon, way to go. ' he scolded himself repeatedly until the bedroom door opened with a small click. hyungwon didn't move. pretending to be asleep was the only choice he had.

he heard footsteps getting farther and then closer, paused and then getting farther again. 

" hyungwon, get dressed and come out to eat. " then he left and closed the door again. hyungwon pulled down the blanket a little to look if he was alone again and when he saw he was, he sighed relieved. how could he face wonho anymore? would he make fun of him? would he tell others about it? probably not but still, he had seen him asleep in all his naked glory and shit it was embarrassing. after a while of punching himself mentally, he decided he had no choice but to go out at some point so he just gave up and got dressed.

opening the door, he was met with the scent of coffee and waffles.

" good morning sleeping beauty. " wonho smiled at him sweetly. how can he be this hot in the morning?! ' he's always hot hyungwon but don't stare too much. you're supposed to feel embarrassed. ' looking down on his feet, he sat on a chair quietly.

" i called himchan and told him you're not feeling well. he gave you three days off. " hyungwon lifted his head and looked at him in surprise. 

"why? i'm fine. " 

" first, no you're not. you cried for like two hours last night and " he put his hand on the latter's forehead " you're still a little hot. second, we're going to look for lili. remember? " 

hyungwon felt the world crash on him at the mention of his sister's name. he had forgotten the whole situation out of being so embarrassed in front of wonho. wonho shoved a fork in his hand and made him grab it by putting his fingers around it. " now eat. you look like a zombie. " 

hyungwon couldn't deny it. he was starving so he basically inhaled everything wonho put in front of him and then drank the coffee. hyungwon could feel wonho's eyes on him while eating but just didn't dare looking up. he saw wonho leaving the kitchen and to the living room.

" jooheon, wake up. it's 11;30. time to go. " he heard a groan and his heart started beating fast. jooheon was here? for how long? had he seen the whole situation? he wanted the ground to just open so he could jump in and hid himself there forever. 

" 5 more minutes. " a sulky voice answered

" no, you don't have 5 more minutes. i gave you an extra 30 minutes now wake up. " and then there was a sound of a hit. hyungwon bet it was another spank as the two seemed to enjoy doing to one another. he just felt so out of place at that moment. a hand suddenly landed on his shoulder, making him yelp and slightly choke on his coffee. 

" hyungwon, have you told yongguk about this? " wonho asked him with soft looking eyes. hyungwon shook his head slowly.

" i think we should call him first. who knows? maybe he even knows where lili is. " hyungwon's eyes widened. why hadn't he thought of that?! all he could think was how heartbroken yongguk would be upon hearing that lili just disappeared. just like that.

" you're right. i'm gonna call him right now. " taking his phone and dialing yongguk's number, he waited and after s many beeps, yongguk finally answered.

" hey hyungwon. " 

" h-hey hyung... lili.... she .... " he didn't know how to tell him and he felt how wonho squeezed his shoulder again to show him support. but he felt his eyes tearing up a little and that's when his phone was ripped out of his hand by wonho and he put it on speaker.

" hey hyung, it's wonho. "

" hey wonho. is everything ok? " 

" listen, remember the day i called you and you said lili left with hyungwon?" he was answered with a hum. " well, they went to a ... shack? that they used to go when they were kids? " 

" i know where it is." yongguk said

" ok then, lili,,, she kind of left hyungwon there, leaving only a note that says not to look for her. "

there was only silence on the other side of the line. 

" you still there? " wonho asked carefully, starting to worry about yongguk.

" yeah... hyungwon are you listening to this? " 

" yes." 

" i think you should come to my house. i have something to show you. " 

 

 

hyungwon was quiet the whole ride to yongguk's house which was not that long, cuz they both lived in the most expensive part of te city. it wasn't even about being luxurious but the security in this part was amazing and what people like him and yongguk needed. hyungwon was stressed out, it was written all over his face so when they got out of the car and in the elevator, wonho held his hand in his tightly and the action seemed to have calmed the younger down a bit.

ringing the bell, they were told to come in by a soft smile on yongguk's face. he told them to sit in front of the tv as he turned it on. but before playing he took a glance over at hyungwon with worried and sad eyes. the video started playing. it was lili. talking straight to the camera.

" hey hyungwon. i knew you wouldn't simply let go so i recorded this and asked guk to save it for when you came to him. " she paused and looked down at her hands . " i'm sorry , i'm really sorry for all the years i took away from you and for all the things i put you through. i know i've said these a million times but it's never enough. " she slowly looked back at the camera " i... i can't go on like this anymore wonnie, i'm too tired. i know i'm selfish for leaving just like that but try and look at it from my point of view as well, hm?  what's the point of living the way i do? eating, taking pills that never do anything and sleep, then repeat. i don't have anything i wanna do. i don't have any place i wanna be. i thought about just moving in with guk but then that would be cruel to him as well cuz i can't give him what he deserves. i want you to be happy. i want you all to be happy and think i was never there or think of me as a good memory in your past. i don't know ... i don't know where i'll go but i wanna just roam in the nature for a while before putting a final end to it all. i know you're crying by now so please don't. stop. you're so precious to me and i love you so so so much. it kills me to see you put on that white gown every day when you should be dancing on the stage instead. i wrote a letter for mom and dad, so please send it to them after watching this. i'm really sorry for putting you through this. i hope you'll be able to forgive and forget me. do yourself a favor and go after the things you like from now on please. start living. i wasn't built for it from the start but you have so much love and passion to give so do it. you even have wonho now. he's the sweetest guy, i'm sure he'll help you with this. i love you baby. i'm sorry. " 

and then the video ended. no-one dared to speak a word for a long while and then hyungwon turned to look at yongguk with teary angry eyes.

" you knew about this? " the latter yelled at yongguk. 

" yeah " he answered looking sad. hyungwon stood up and rushed to him, grabbing him by the collar " why the fuck didn't you stop her? why did you let her leave? why didn't you fucking warn me ?" tears were flowing down his eyes and wonho didn't know what to do. yongguk put his arms around hyungwon and hugged him tightly.

" i'm sorry won, she begged me not to tell. you should have seen her while making that decision. she was struggling with it for over a year until she decided it was time."  hyungwon loosened the grip on the collar and put his head on yongguk's shoulder, sobbing. 

" she could've talked to me. i don't hate my job. she always thought she took my life away. she didn't. " hyungwon talked with a broken voice while yongguk stroked his hair.

" you were not the only reason won. she basically felt like living in hell everyday. she didn't wanna be like that anymore. it's her life. i know it's hard, believe me, i love her with all my heart and i always will, but it was her decision. "  hyungwon lifted his head and pushed yongguk away full force shouting again " she's gonna kill herself. she's gonna die being alone in god knows where and we won't even have her body. you're an asshole. i don't ever wanna see you again."  and he ran out of the house, wonho following him quickly. 

calling hyungwon's name a couple of times, the latter didn't stop so wonho had to speed up and grab him by the arms to make him stop running. looking at him being like that, shivering and crying desperately, broke his heart.

" let's get in the car and go home. ok? we'll figure it out together. hm? " wiping the current tears away, he lead hyungwon to the car, not letting go of him one second. he opened the passenger's door and made him go inside before bending down and fastening the latter's belt cuz he seemed too out of it to do it himslef. he drove back to his house, praying to whatever god out there that jooheon had left already and he was relieved when the house was empty. he took hyungwon to the sink and washed his face and lead him to the sofa afterwards. hyungwon was being like a doll, doing whatever or rather letting him do whatever, taking him around with no objection while being dead silent. he was starting to really get worried cuz this behavior wasn't normal at all. he wanted to call himchan and ask what he should do but he thought maybe hyungwon didn't want his boss to know about this. so he just sat here, on his knees, in front on hyungwon. wiping the tears occasionally and holding his hands.

" what are you thinking? " he whispered softly after a while. hyungwon shook his head. that meant he was at least still aware of his surroundings and that was a good thing.

" talk to me hyungwon. please. i can't see you like this. " he said while lowering his head and placing a kiss on hyungwon's hand without realizing himself doing it and rubbing his thumbs on the hands afterwards.

" how am i supposed to live now? she is all i ever lived for. my only wish was to treat her but i just failed. i let her down. " hyungwon said, voice steady and low, face emotionless but tears still falling.

" like she said, you're gonna start living for you. " he paused, not sure whether he should say what was on his mind or not after the way hyungwon had yelled at yongguk. he didn't want hyungwon to look at him the way he looked at the elder guy.

" do you think yongguk's right? that we should just respect her decision? just like that? " he asked while still looking down at their hands on his lap.

" you fought for her for a long time hyungwon. if she could get better, she would have by now. i'm not saying you should be okay with this situation, not at all. i've known lili for like 5 months and i would be punching things by now if it wasn't for you but ... but it is her life at the end of the line. " 

hyungwon lifted his head slowly and looked at him with red eyes for a few seconds .

" kiss me. " 

" kiss me. please. make me forget. it really hurts. " 

wonho didn't need another word after that as he leaned in, putting a hand behind hyungwon's head and making him come closer as well, putting his lips on the vulnerable boy on his sofa.

he just barely touched the younger's lips at first before he pressed his lips on his and starting to kiss him. slow and soft at first but getting more and more heated as the seconds passed. when he needed to have the younger closer to him, he broke the kiss and stood up only to sit down on the sofa next to him and grab him, make him sit on his lap with each thigh on either side of his. wonho tilted his head back and locked the fingers of his right hand in hyungwon's hair while the left one kept caressing his back, his neck, his cheek that still had tears running down on them and his sides. hyungwon had lost himself in the action, kissing back hungrily and looking completely delirious while grabbing a fist full of wonho's hair on one hand and cupping his face with the other. they kissed for a very long time, ravishing each other's mouths with their tongues and exploring the other's body by caressing their hands on the clothes. wonho knew this was going too far as he felt his body react to hyungwon in a way it shouldn't and he tried to stop.

" hyungwon, let's put you in a cold shower so you can relax a bit, what do you say? " he suggested while rubbing his thumb on the beautiful boy's cheek.

" i say stop this bullshit and take me. now. " hyungwon clashed his lips on wonho's, kissing him desperately while breathing loudly through his nose. wonho found himself wanting to rip every piece of clothing from the younger boy's body but at the same time, he didn't want to be that person. the one who would go all out when someone's in a depressive mood. he didn't wanna be hyungwon's tomorrow's regret. so with so much hardness, he broke the kiss again

" i don't wanna do this hyungwon. you'll regret it later. "

" you don't wanna have sex with me? i'm... not your type?  " 

" god no, you're gorgeous. " 

" so what's the problem then? " something was different in hyungwon's eyes. wonho wasn't sure if it was hurt or confusion or both.

" you're being emotional right now. thinking having sex will solve it all. it won't. you'll wake up later regretting it all. " he paused. " and i don't wanna lose you because of that." 

hyungwon chuckled crookedly. " i'm a psychiatrist wonho. i know what i'm doing and this is what i wanna do apart from that emotional state you mentioned. i won't regret it. i'm functioning enough to know that. " he stroked wonho's hair while talking. and then stopped " but i can't force this on you either. " he stood up, walking to the kitchen counter. the tears had finally stopped and he didn't seem to shiver anymore. seeing that made wonho lose his mind as he walked towards him in fast steps, turned him around and clashed their lips together rougher than before. hyungwon was fast to follow, curling his arms around his neck and kissing back by the same intensity. wonho moved his hand under hyungwon's shirt, moving up and down the latter's back, feeling the soft skin under his fingertips. and then in one quick motion, he pulled it over his head and let it land on the ground. grabbing the lean thighs, he picked him up and put him on the counter. he let go of the beautifully plump lips that were now blood red due to the intense kissing and attached his lips to hyungwon's neck, nibbling on it hard. he moved his way down on hyungwon's chest, placing feather like kisses on every patch of skin his lips could find before taking one of his nipples in his mouth and sucking on it. hyungwon moaned for the first time and it sounded beautiful. so beautiful that wonho wanted to hear more. a lot more. letting go of the bud and going for the lips again, hyungwon beat him to the action by catching his bottom lips with his teeth and nibbling on it, while trying to take his shirt off. letting go of wonho's lip, hyungwon pulled the tight t-shirt over the muscular man's head and was fascinated by all the lines that separated each part of muscles on the body. feeling impatient he put his legs around the other's hips, pulling him as close as possible, leaning in and whispering in his ear. " take me wonho. take me now. "

wonho grabbed his thighs and picked him up, walking to the bedroom and placing him down on the silky bedsheets gently and hovering over him, capturing those delicious lips again while his hand was busy undoing the zipper of the pink-haired boy's jeans.

 

 

 

hyungwon woke up, feeling something heavy on him. he looked down and say it was a hand and his back was in fact pressed on wonho's chest while the latter was asleep. he slowly turned around to be able to look at him. he was beautiful, even in his sleep with his lips partly open and his face in peace. his bare chest caught hyungwon's attention again and he let his index finger run on the lines of his muscles gently, barely touching. he stopped when wonho's body reacted and the latter changed his position a bit, pulling him flush against his chest. hyungwon let his head rest in the crook of wonho's neck and inhaled his scent. he smelt like the woods, fresh and deep. it was funny how the other man had attempted to stop because he was scared of him leaving afterwards when all he wanted right now, was to be in this position forever and more. before he knew it, he had fallen asleep again. in the arms of the man he had secretly loved for months now.


	30. Thirty

 

Wonho woke up to a beautiful person in his arms. hyungwon was still asleep, his hands between their chests and head a little upward. wonho noticed the hickeys he had left on his neck and all over his body. he loved leaving marks on others' bodies, always but he couldn't afford having those where they could be seen and from the way they went at it, he was sure he had at least two on his neck and so many on his chest. he was just thankful he wasn't having any concerts or shows for a few days. placing a kiss on his head, he got out of bed to take a shower.

when he came out, hyungwon had woke up, sitting on bed, with the blanket around him, rubbing his eye with a puffy face. it was so adorable that wonho wanted to squish him so bad but he didn't cuz he didn't know how was the other feeling about all this. hell, he didn't even know how he felt. all he knew, was the fact that he kept dreaming about the same dream all the while he had hyungwon in his arms, sleeping.

" good... night? i think it's around 10! we slept too much! take a shower while i order something. what do you wanna eat? " he said while walking to the cloth room and only taking a quick glance at the burrito hyungwon looking like a fucking cute kitten.  ' yeah, before it was a puppy, now a kitten! make up your mind. cats or dogs? ' he laughed at his own thoughts and pulled a pair of sweatpants over his legs. coming back to the room, hyungwon hadn't moved an inch. he made his way to bed , standing next to hyungwon's side. 

" why? anything wrong? wanna sleep some more? " he asked softly. hyungwon looked up at him with pouty lips and puppy eyes. 

" do you often have nightmares? " he asked in his low hoarse voice. wonho's eyes widened at the question. did he have a nightmare while they were asleep? but he didn't remember anything. he would've woken up all panting and sweating but he didn't remember anything like that. 

" why do you ask? " 

" you were having one. and it seemed to be really bad. i called you and shook you but you didn't wake so i just hugged you as tight as i could and then you finally started to calm down. you-.... you even had a few tears rolling down on your face. " and then he looked back at the pillows, maybe checking if the tears had left any marks on the material.

" i'm sorry you had to see that. i sometimes have them. not a big deal though. come on now, get up and take a shower. your hair is sticking out in all the possible ways." he chuckled pointing at the younger's hair. hyungwon frowned at him and pressed his lips together, observing him somehow.

" you didn't mention anything about nightmares in your sessions. why? " he asked with a serious tone.

" really hyungwon? you're gonna go pro on me while being naked on my bed? please! " he grabbed hyungwon and picked him up, making him stand on his feet on the floor and then patted his back, moving him a little forward to the bathroom door. 

" i'll get dressed and then we'll talk about this. you can't escape this hyung. " wonho couldn't help laughing. " sure, but first you better make up your mind whether you wanna call me by wonho or hyung. i mean i love them both but it's confusing going back and forth. personally i loved the hyung more. "  wonho winked and smirked at him before asking again " what do you wanna eat?" 

upon realizing what wonho was really referring to, hyungwon became as red as a tomato. he kept calling him hyung at times last night and then came by calling his name. so sure the tease that was wonho would comment on that and make him blush to death. turning around quickly to hide the burning face while holding on the blanket with all the strength he had , he whispered jajangmion and disappeared in the bathroom. he heard wonho's chuckle as he left the room.

their food arrived just as hyungwon got out of the bedroom, completely dressed and everything. smiling, wonho put a bowl of mixed jajangmion in front of him and they started eating. they just ate without saying a word. wonho was the first one to start talking. " so how are you feeling? " he asked while sipping on his coffee and leaning back against the sink.

" i still wanna beat the shit out of guk hyung but i guess it won't change anything. i wanna search for her but i know it won't change the way she feels. i don't know what to do. i'm really lost." he sighed holding the mug in his hand tightly. wonho hummed quietly.

" hyungwon, do... do you regret what we did? i mean to me you were just bursting with all kinds of emotions so... " he said slowly, calculating his every word.

" no hyung. i don't. i'm not the regretting type." he smiled at the muscular man in front of him who right now, seemed like a lost kid. wonho smiled back and was about to take another sip when the door opened and jooheon walked in. looking at the two of them back and forth, his face became angrier and angrier. he breathed harshly and looked at wonho with a death gaze 

" min has been unconscious for the past 12 hours. why the fuck don't you pick up your fucking phone? " he shouted and wonho put the mug down almost immediately, all color fading from his skin and face showing frustration.

" what happened? " was all he could ask while his whole body started trembling.

" he had just fainted out of nowhere and he hasn't woken up since. he's lying there while you... " he looked at the two of them with something similar to disgust in his eyes. " i hope you had fun at least." he spat and was about to walk out when wonho ran and grabbed his hand 

" wait, joo, wait, take me there. let me put on something. just wait here. " in a matter of seconds, wonho was dressed in the first outfit he had found, nothing like the usual matching style but just whatever he could get his hands on faster. running to the door, he paused shortly and ran back to hyungwon who was just sitting there like a fool, not having any idea what the hell was going on. he squeezed his hand shortly saying " i'm so sorry. " and then rushed out of the door, leaving hyungwon alone in his house.

hyungwon didn't know what to do, so he just washed the dishes, not himself, cuz the singer had a machine for that and cleaned up a bit. then he decided to watch tv for one more hour while waiting and then leave if wonho wasn't back by then. a little while after that, the front door opened and kihyun came in, getting shocked upon seeing hyungwon there.

" does everyone has his passcode or what? " he asked curiously.

" he overdosed three times and had passed out a couple of times, what do you expect? " kihyun replied while going to the bedroom and taking something out of one of the drawers. 

" if you're waiting for him, i don't think he'll come back soon. " 

" kihyun, what's exactly going on? his soul left his body when he heard about min." kihyun looked at him and then noticed the hickeys on his neck, frowning and sighing at the same time, he made hyungwon sit down on the sofa.

" listen hyungwon, i think you have feelings for wonho and from the evidence you've already slept together but what you need to know, is that wonho's still in love with his ex. and if it's not love, knowing him, he's gonna feel guilt and regret and so many other things for a long time. so i'd like to advise you to get yourself out before you're in too deep. cuz i doubt he'll ever feel the same way you feel about him. the guilt won't let him. " 

" but why does he feel guilty? i know it's fucked up, now that jooheon is back and everything and i don't know why he even agreed to sleep with me when his ex is here but- " 

" jooheon's not his ex! " kihyun interrupted him. " minhyuk is. " 

 


	31. Thirty One

 

 

" what do you mean minhyuk is his ex?! then why you all asked jooheon if he was really back?" a dumbfounded hyungwon asked.

" he and wonho had a major fight and he ... well he kindda went out of the country for a while to be away from it all. " kihyun answered him. hyungwon groaned. 

" and here i was feeling like shit for sleeping with him while he's ex was back. " kihyun chuckled and poked his cheek. 

" hey! lighten up! the problem right now is not the sex but the feelings. from what i saw earlier, he's a complete mess. go home for now. i'll tell you when he's doing better and then i think you two should have a talk. " 

 

 

 

it's been three days since hyungwon las saw wonho and it was when he had rushed out of the house. kihyun had told him he'd call when the singer was feeling better but he still had no news whatsoever and he was starting to get worried. without much hesitation, he called shownu.

" hello? " 

" shownu hyung, it's me. do you have any news on wonho? " 

" ah.... he's at home but he told us to leave him be. " 

" oh... i see... well, how is minhyuk? is he ok? " 

" yeah, he's up and he's back to word. nothing to worry about. " 

" but... why did he faint then?! " 

" he just overworked himself and his body is not in the best shape right now so it just gave up a little. "

" good then. "

" hyungwon? "

" yes? " 

" could you go check on wonho? he won't let us in but maybe he'll talk to you? "

hyungwon was hesitant to answer. he didn't wanna go where he wasn't welcome, however he knew wonho was sensitive when it came to his ex and right now he began to worry about his unhealthy habits , like drugs for example. 

" i'm gonna leave now. bye hyung. "

 

 

 

after two times of entering the passcode and getting rejected, hyungwon figured wonho had changed it. now he had only one more chance and he started thinking about what the new passcode could be. that's when he remembered wonho's lock on his phone. he had told him the password once he had thrown him his phone from afar without unlocking it. the password had been so stupidly easy and obvious that hyungwon had wondered why the older even bothered with a lock in the first place. ' because it's so obvious that no-one ever tries it. ' 

recalling that, he hesitantly entered four zeros ( 0000 ) and pressed ok in hope that the door would actually open and it did. he sighed in relief and walked inside. the place was quiet, so quiet he thought wonho must've been out. he quietly walked to the bedroom, taking a quick glance and seeing no-one, he came out and opened the door to the other room, the one wonho called studio.

there he was, the blond singer, with a face paler than ever, curled up in the comfortable chair in the corner of the room, hugging a bunny plushie. hyungwon walked closer and saw the many bottles on the ground next to the chair. he turned the light on and wonho immediately hid his face with the plushie, mumbling something and curling up some more.hyungwon frowned and pressed his lips together. he didn't know the other's alcohol tolerance, but the amount of empty bottles would be enough to kill even the strongest ones. turning off the light and kneeling down, he slowly moved the plushie away the other's face. he seemed to be asleep but his face was so sad, so unlike the peaceful expression he had seen before. shaking his shoulder gently and calling his name, he was met with a whimper again.

" wonho, come on, open your eyes." he whispered softly.

" go away. " he said without moving.

" i'm not going anywhere until you wake up and take a shower. " no reaction. 

" come on bunny. wake up. "  and suddenly his eyes were wide open, looking at hyungwon in shock. and then his features turned sad again, putting his head back down on the backrest.

" don't call me that. " he said in his low voice quietly and hugged the plushie tighter.

" listen, either you wake up and take a shower or i'll bring the shower to you. all it needs is a big bowl of water and tissues. " wonho opened his eyes again, looking at him. he looked annoyed somehow. standing up slowly and throwing the plushie away, he walked to the bedroom and before hyungwon could follow, the other had closed and locked the door. then he heard him say " leave hyungwon. " 

" ok i will but please take a shower and eat something. there's no color on you." he didn't get a reply but left anyway.

 

 

 

when wonho had arrived at the hospital, all of their friends were there. upon seeing him there' the atmosphere became a little tense. he wanted to make sure minhyuk was okay but he also didn't know if he should go to his room or not. would he be mad if he did? would he be sad if he didn't, thinking wonho never actually cared like he once told him? he felt lost so he just scooted down in the middle of the hallway and grabbed his head in his hands. changkyun was the first one to rush to him and make him stand up and sit on a chair next to the wall.

" how is he? is he awake? " jooheon asked the others.

" not yet but the doctor just told us it's nothing serious, nothing that's related to the injuries anyway. he's just worked out his body. " kihyun sighed " honestly, sometimes i wonder if it didn't work between you two cuz you're both just so similar. look at this situation! we should always have you two unconscious on a hospital bed for overworking your stupid asses. " 

" so- so it has nothing to do with his brain condition? are you sure? you're not lying, are you?" wonho asked, looking at shownu cuz the latter was uncapable of lying.

" it's the truth won, with the new branch and everything, he has so much work to do and now that he's bought your shares and has to do your part as well, it all somehow doubles his work if not more. it's really got nothing to do with his condition. he doesn't even HAVE a condition anymore. " ahownu replied while sitting by his side and hugging him by the shoulder.

" well, he still hates me so... " 

" he hates you regardless of that. you know how min is, it's either love or hate for him. there's no in between. not really. " kihyun's tone was like he was trying to convince a two year old.

" i probably know him better than all of you ki, don't talk to me like i'm some kid. he's a fucking ball of sunshine. the only person he hates is me. " he chuckled " well, that and cucumber." the smile remained on his face upon remembering the first time he handed minhyuk a cucumber while eating one himself. he had become furious, grabbing his nose not to smell it and slapping it out of his hand while glaring at him angrily.

making sure minhyuk was ok and awaken through the guys, he left the hospital after being there for more than 24 hours. it was only when he entered his house that he remembered about the pink-haired boy he had left here. he wished him to be there and not be there at the same time. he wanted to go back to the hospital and actually visit minhyuk while he wanted to lock himself in here, never to let anyone in ever again as well. he wanted to be alone but he also wanted his friends, especially jooheon to be there with him. all the dualities was making him insane and he knew only one way to just shut his fucking brain up. well two actually, but he was too worn out to go get any drugs, plus he had promised the siblings not to do them anymore, so it left only alcohol. taking a bottle with him to the bedroom, he slid down the wall and just drank. he drank the whole bottle until he felt his stomach turn. so he rushed to the bathroom and threw it all up. feeling nauseous, he turned the shower on and just sat there, fully clothed, crying for a long time. and that was how he had spent his time ever since, drinking everything he could find, throwing it all up, sleeping a while and then drinking again. it was a loop he didn't seem to be able to escape.

 

 

when he heard digits entering and failing, he felt relieved that he had changed the passcode cuz he really wasn't in the mood of his friends' loud voices nagging at him. they had called enough times already and he had told them to leave him be before turning it off and throwing it somewhere he didn't even remember. but then the door opened and light footsteps searched all around the house before entering the studio. 

" wonho. come on. open your eyes. " he didn't even know who it was cuz he was feeling really dizzy and the hand on his shoulder felt strangely heavy. all he could say was ' go away. ' 

and then upon hearing the nickname, he gained his consciousness back, realizing it was hyungwon. the latter kept talking and telling him to take a shower. he knew he was whispering but even that was very loud to wonho. he could only think of one way to make him leave so he locked himself in his bedroom and told the doctor to leave. ' sure, drive everyone who cares away and then sit and cry about why no-one sticks by your side ' his brain screamed at him but he just ignored it. how could he know they truly cared? like genuinely? there was no way and like lili once told him, people mostly care and help others to make themselves feel good and useful. he knew it wasn't a hundred percent true as he also recalled her saying ' there are no certain facts.' but he couldn't help doubting everyone's affection for him. he had learned abandonment in early age and it had just left him traumatized. 

 

two more days passed like that. with him not eating and only drinking the alcohol he was going to throw up later but was worth it cuz some of it went to his blood and made his brain numb after all. he was currently drinking the last drops of the last bottle he had and going insane at the thought of not having any more. throwing the bottle at a wall and making it shatter all around, he sank down and groaned in frustration. he had to go get more or he had to call someone to bring him some. he didn't want anyone around so he decided it was best if he bought it himself. wearing clothes was never so hard, he barely had the energy to stand up straight but he managed somehow. walking out of the door and to the elevator, he leaned against the wall, waiting for it to open, while he struggled to keep his eyes from closing. ' what if someone takes a picture of you like this? you'll be on every article. ' he couldn't find any fucks left in him to give so he just shook his head again and looked at the number on the screen. it was one more floor until the door would open. only when it did, he wished he had never come out in the first place. in the elevator, there was jongup, hyungwon and changkyun. all of them staring at him when they saw him in front of them. he sighed knowing exactly what was about to happen and just leaned off the wall, walking back to his apartment, knowing they'd follow.walking inside and sinking on the sofa, he threw his arm over his eyes, not wanting to see anyone or be seen. this was gonna be a shitshow.

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Thirty Two

 

 

Following wonho inside his house, jongup and hyungwon were met with a heartbreaking view. there were bottles everywhere, a pair of sweatpants on the ground next to the bedroom door and ... yes, shattered pieces of what must have been a bottle all over the floor. none of this was as bad as how wonho looked himself. when the two saw him at the elevator, he could barely hold himself up and he had come back to the apartment by the help of the walls he put his hand on in order not to collapse there and then. even jongup's sassy attitude was no where to be found at this moment as he could only feel sympathy for the broken singer who had been sitting there quietly, hiding his face with a hand over his eyes and lips parted, breathing path somewhat unsteady. 

hyungwon moved closer to him, as he saw wonho's chest beginning to rise and fall more and more and he saw sweat glittering his very pale skin. before he could do or say anything, wonho sat up, pushing him out of his way and ran to the bathroom and from what the sound, he knew he was throwing up. again. hyungwon rushed to the shelf he remembered shownu getting the medicine from and took out the pills, going to the direction of the bathroom with a glass of water and careful not to step on the glasses on the floor.

wonho was lying there on the bathroom floor when he got there, he just seemed lifeless, the only thing that showed he was actually still alive, was the fast and harsh breathing. hyungwon sat down beside him and tried to pick his upper body up but his body was really limp thus it had become really heavy, regardless of the big amount of weight the latter have lost in just three days. 

" open your mouth. you have to take your pill. " the breathing was becoming more desperate and the sweating more visible. his shirt was beginning to soak. 

" it's- not- that. " wonho said with much effort in a breathy voice and clutched onto his chest.

" does it hurt wonho? " the latter nodded shortly 

" my heart, it's beating really fast. " he said and swallowed hard. jongup must've come there a while ago cuz upon hearing that he said " i'm gonna call an ambulance." 

 

9 minutes later and two nurses have rushed in the bathroom where wonho was still lying, curled up in a ball and wincing in pain that the two men didn't know the source of. they took him away immediately and the two followed by jongup's car.

a stressful hour passed while his friends arrived at the hospital one by one after hyungwon called shownu to inform him and he must've told others. they all sat there thinking he must've just overdosed again or something. they wanted to kill him as much as they were worried about him.

after a long devastating wait, the doctor came out of the room. they all stood up and circled the doctor immediately. 

" we had to do a gastric lavage on him but he's good now." 

" but he said he's heart was aching? " hyungwon questioned

" he hadn't been eating for days and probably only drinking alcohol which his body refused so he must've been throwing up constantly and amount of alcohol and the pressure the stomach was going through, put the body in shock. that's why his lungs and heart began overworking. but as i said, he's good now. he just needs to eat properly and to rest a bit. he'll be able to go out tomorrow if nothing goes wrong. he's asleep but you can see him. " 

 

" we should've just broken his door and kick his fucking ass and made sure he was at least eating instead of letting him be. " kihyun said sighing

" this is my fault. i got angry at him and made him feel more guilty than he already did. i'm so stupid. " jooheon cried while hiding his face in his palms. shownu patted his back 

" it's not anyone's fault. you three keep passing this guilt ball to each other while it's really none of yours in the first place. the accident wasn't won's fault. the overdoses weren't min's fault and this, right now is not your fault joo. come on guys, let's go see him. " 

hyungwon couldn't help but get curious about the accident they were talking about. why did wonho feel guilty because of it? 

like the doctor had said, wonho was asleep but his body was a little warmer in comparison to the cold temerature before. they couldn't staye for long as a nurse told them that only one person can stay and changkyun called his name and said he'll stay first so they had no choice but to leave. they could visit tomorrow at the visiting hour.

 

hyungwon was getting ready to give his shift to the next doctor and go to the hospital to visit wonho when he received a text. 

' hyungwon, they discharged him. we're going home, come there. -changkyun '

 

when he arrived, there were only three inside. wonho, changkyun and jongup. changkyun looked very angry and was just sitting there glaring at jongup for some reason while the other two where watching something on an ipad.

" ok then, just make sure to change the style of the harness. i really don't like the one the stylist gave me last time. it felt like it burnt through my skin. " wonho was telling jongup without noticing hyungwon's arrival in a very tired and low tone.

" you're going to perform? when? " hyungwon found himself asking. wonho lifted his head and looked at him with an empty gaze. his whole facial expression was just... empty.

" yeah, i'm having a world tour, remember? " hyungwon felt his blood boil from the disbelief

" what the fuck? have you seen the state you're at? " he turned to jongup " how is he gonna perform like this jongup?! " he pointed at wonho with his veins popped out at his temples.

" we don't have a choice here. the tour starts in a week and all the tickets have been sold out. plus we have already booked all the concert halls all around the globe. " 

" so then fucking cancel them. he can't even stand on his feet, how is he supposed to dance ? " he was kind of shouting at this rate.

" we can't afford to cancel the tour, hyungwon. you're not familiar with this stuff." 

" give it up hyungwon. they'll do whatever they want. i just hope you regret the things you're doing after you're finally dead from all this hyung. " changkyun was looking at wonho with teary eyes and then left the room. 

when others arrived and heard about this, they all went crazy. kihyun just kept himself busy cooking while nagging at wonho ocassionally and jooheon went all out screaming at wonho. and the singer just remained quiet listening to them all until they were done.

" don't you have anything to say? " was the last thing jooheon had said and then the hoouse fell silent.

" thank you for being worried about me but i just wanna get on stage as soon as possible and forget about it all. " 

 " you don't wanna get on stage. you wanna tired yourself to death and run away like you always do. if you weren't so weak right now, i would beat you up. " jooheon said with a disgusted look on his face and rushed out of the house.

 

 

hyungwon sat beside shownu who was just going through his phone.

" do they always bicker so much? " hyungwon asked.

" who? won and joo? yeah they kindda do since a few months back." 

" can i ask why? aren't they supposed to be best friends or something? " changkyun who overheard them while sitting down next to hyungwon answered " you know those cliche movies when two best friends fall in love with the same person and it breaks them apart? that's what happened here. " 

" changkyun. " shownu gave a look to the young boy.

" what? he's one of us now. he's gonna find out sooner or later. " he shrugged

" my stupid brother fell in love with minhyuk while they were at the WOD competition but didn't confess until after he quit his programmer job. it was all fun and games until he started being busy most of the time which led to minhyuk spending time with jooheon more often at the shared apartment they used to have back then. slowly honey started falling for him but kept it to himself. actually, that wouldn't be the whole truth cuz honey had a crush on him maybe way before the two started dating but he was just scared to admit to his gay side! and after that it was already too late. anyway, my bro began to be away for months and minhyuk was becoming more desperate and lonely so jooheon was there to comfort him and then on a drunken night, they... slept together which they regretted later on but it was already done and it shattered minhyuk cuz he hated cheaters and now he was one of them. so he just ate himself up from the inside and kept his distance from all of us, thus becoming lonelier, the things he hates most and changing all the unconditional love he felt towards won to pure hate cuz he was the reason he had done what he hated the most. sure we kept telling him they were drunk and stupid, but it didn't change anything. after wonho came back from a Europe tour last year, they had a big fight and min said he wanted to break up. and then the accident happened and then min left him for real and then honey and my brother had a super big fight which lead to honey leaving the fucking country to stay away. it was a complete shit show."

" wow. " hyungwon's head felt light because of all the info he got at once and the amount of drama in it.

" yeah, exactly. i'm sure if i wrote it down, it would make a well-rated tv drama." changkyun chuckled bitterly.

 


	33. Thirty Three

( 5 years ago ) 

" so you really quit? " jooheon asked him as he sat down on the couch next to him and minhyuk.

" yeop. " wonho clapped his hands smiling wide. minhyuk laughed at his childish act and jumped on him, hitting him everywhere lightly.

" ouch, ouch, why are you beating me? " he tried to defend himself but letting minhyuk do his thing anyway.

" because!! what are you gonna do now? just going from company to company trying to sign a contract? what if no-one accepts you? what then?? i wanna kill you so bad bunny. " he hit him again, this much a little harder on the bicep. it hurt so wonho grabbed his wrists and kept him still, half-way on his lap.

" i already signed a contract puppy. " both minhyun and jooheon shouted a WHAT at him which made him laugh really hard as he pushed minhyuk off himself and let go of his wrists.

" when the fuck did you sign a contract and why the fuck did you not tell me about it? am i not your best friend? what have i done to deserve this disrespect? " jooheon became sulky in a matter of seconds. wonho just laughed harder.

" let's give him a chance to explain joo, if we're not satisfied we'll show him who's the boss around here." minhyuk said sassily, glaring at wonho.

" and who might that be? i can beat both of you up if i want to. i just happen to let you have your ways. " he smirked at min's direction. the latter just rolled his eyes and gestured his hand for him to start explaining.

" well, i kindda sortta might have... " just spill already! GOOD GOD!! " jooheon screamed at him. 

" fineeeee! i went to an audition right after we came back and they accepted me! can you believe it?! my schedules start from Wednesday! " he giggled.

" wednesday? as in two days from now?! " wonho nodded. " you fucker! " minhyuk exhaled.

" well, i wanna punch you for not telling me before but i'm also happy for you. i know you've always loved performing. " jooheon smiled at him and his dimples appeared. wonho couldn't help but poke one as he usually did. minhyuk slapped his hand away " but how did they accept you like that? i heard companies are pretty strict about training and stuff. " he asked him with a frown.

" well, i had a fucking win from WOD on my resume, duh! plus, i've been playing piano my whole life and i used to sing along when i played something with lyrics and my voice automatically found it's pitch. and i got the looks! what else do they need!! " 

" you and your confident ass. " minhyuk snorted.

" you love my confident ass though. " wonho winked at him.

" you bet i do." min replied and grabbed his ass firmly.

 

 

 

 

wonho was looking at the monthly schedule that had been given to him. it was packed. so packed he was sure he had to sleep at the practice room at times. but he couldn't stop thinking about min and how much he just wanted to kiss him. at least once. he had to know how it would feel like kissing someone you love with all your heart. the very feeling was new to him as he had never loved anyone before. except for jooheon but that was different. but he needed to know if the kiss would be different like they say. he had to confess to minhyuk, whatever the consequences. he just couldn't hold it in anymore. he decided to ask him out and just tell him straight forward.

' hey min, you free tonight? ' he texted.

' yeah '

' yes, can i come to your house? there's something i wanna tell you. ' 

' sure. i'll be home at 8. come whenever. '

' i'll be there around 9. '

 

 

he got home at 7 and took a shower. when he got out he noticed jooheon had come too.

" yo joo, can you come sit a bit? i have something to tell you. "

" sure bro, what's up?  "

" i... i'm gonna ask minhyuk out." jooheon.exe stopped working upon hearing that.

" hello? earth to jooheon! did you hear what i said? " wonho waved his hand in front of him.

" yeah yeah... so you like him?! " 

" i love him man! i'm so madly in love with him! i just don't know what i'll do if he rejects me." 

" well, i hope he won't . he's touchy with everyone so i can't really tell if he likes you back or not. " 

" yeah....... about that! i HATE IT WHEN HE DOES IT TO OTHERS. " 

" woah dude! being jealous and possessive already?! " jooheon teased him. wonho pouted and crossed his arms on his chest. 

 

 

 

 

wonho was at minhyuk's door at 8:30 but didn't dare to ring the bell until around 9. after finally gathering his courage and following a smily and welcoming minhyuk inside, he sat them both on the comfy sofa, looking directly into minhyuk’s eyes.

“ why are you looking at me like that?! “ minhyuk said looking nervous which was so unlike him but wonho didn’t look away.

“ min, you know i love you right? you’re very dear to me and i… “ he paused, not sure how to say it. he had never confessed before.

“ you what?! “ min asked him with a curious and concerned look.

“ before i say that, i want you to promise me something.” wonho said grabbing minhyuk’s hands snd squeezing them

“ o….k….”

“ i’m gonna ask you something. you have to promise me to answer after thinking it through and if it’s no, it won’t ruin what we have.”

“ you’re scaring me. “ minhyuk frowned “ but ok, i promise to both of them. “ and he squeezed wonho’s hands back.

“ min, i said i love you right? i don’t love you as just a friend. i’m in love with you. i’m madly and deeply in love with you and i’d be happy if you-“

“ WHAT? “ min screamed letting go of his hands and jumping up.

“ what?!” wonho panicked and asked back.

“ you’re in .. love with me? like, really in love? with me? “ wonho nodded in confusion.

“ since when?! “

“ um, since going to the competition? “ wonho didn’t know where this was going and he was scared.literally.

“ what the fuck man?! i’ve been in love with you for as long as i can remember and have been trying hard to hide it or surpass it and now you’re telling me you’ve felt the same all this time? are we fucking stupid or something?! “ minhyuk said with his jaw open, laughing in the middle of his talk nervously.

they both looked at each other in silence for a few moments before bursting out into laughter at what they both had just found out. this was how dynamic they were. always a crazy situation, always hyper and always adventurous. in one word, it was always FUN.

wonho didn’t know at what point he had stood up and pulled minhyuk in for a kiss but he only realised it after they had separated and were staring at each other with wont’s hands on minhyuk’s waste and his brushing wont’s strands out of his face.

“ so, will you be my boyfriend mr. lee minhyuk? “

“ of course mr. shin. would be my honour. “ wonho kissed him again shortly but wanted to stop before things get complicated. by things he meant his boy downstairs who were aching for minhyuk’s attention. but he didn’t wanna jump into sex just after their confession, because he didn’t want to make min uncomfortable. just as he was about to put some distance between them, minhyuk grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him flush against his body.

“ where do you think you’re going?! i’ve been waiting for this for too long. i’m afraid you’re gonna have to fuck me tonight mr. shin.” minhyuk said playfully and licked his lips. wonho looked at him in awe and soon that turned into pure lust as he picked minhyuk up by his thighs and pressed him against the wall.

“ my pleasure mr. sunshine. how would you like it to be ? i could do anything you want since you’ve been fantasising about it enough already. “ wonho smirked at the boy in his hold.

minhyuk let a low moan out of his mouth at the friction between their crotches and bit on his lower lip.

“ i’ll let you decide it for now and then i’ll decide whether it lives up to my fantasies or not.”

minhyuk was sassy. just like wonho. sometimes even more. and he was a hell of a tease. again, just like wonho. together they were like fire and ice. both able to destroy the other by their choice of words and actions but atthe same time, melting into each other.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ so you guys are dating now?! how did we not notice this before?” kihyun asked surprised when the new couple announced their relationship to their friends.

“ they both are always touchy and throw nicknames at everyone, how would we know?! “ changkyun said

wonho snorted “ please! we’re all always touchy and throw nicknames at each other. don’t try to Bold us. “

“ he’s not wrong. “ shownu stated. “ and i kinda knew. “

“ WHAT?! “ they all screamed including the couple

“ how?! how can YOU notice !! “ kihyun mocked him and shown lifted an eyebrow at him and smiled.

“ well they both were always throwing weird looks at each other while the other was’t looking. it was kind of obvious. i’ve been waiting for this to happen for a long time now. “

kihyun sighed “we’re really doomed if you have noticed and we haven’t. you’re supposed to be the ignorant one.”

“ hyung is actually very observant and intelligent thank you very much. don’t blame him for your own stupidity.” jooheon said

“ oh? and did you, the oh so smart best friend, know about this? i mean before he tells you.” kihyun spat back and jooheon became sulky and went back to his game with changkyun.

 

 

 

 

 


	34. Thirty Four

( 2 years ago )

 

three years in their relationship and they had grown to love each and everything about each other. well, except for the fact that wonho had to be away most of the time and when he was at home, minhyuk would be super busy at the company.

The company came into picture a year and a half after wonho debuted as a solo artist and in the meantime, minhyuk had decided to gather up his courage and do what he had always dreamt of. to have his own IT company. he sure had the knowledge but he was short on money. wonho, however, had earned a ridiculous amount of it during the short time of his singing career. so he offered his boyfriend the money he needed and minhyuk had made him a member of the board of directors. also, he had asked him to help in some projects cuz wonho was better at certain topics and he had gladly accepted.

that’s how he ended up, working days of his free time on programming projects with dangerous deadlines at the beginning without sleep. minhyuk as well was working his ass off for the company to earn it’s place in the business and be known and with selecting professionals, they soon made sure of their company’s name being mentioned in important events.

but all and all, minhyuk was never as busy as wonho. atlas he was home overnight. sleeping in a bed his boyfriend used to be at before he went popular all of a sudden with the very first song the company had let Him compose instead of giving ready songs to him to just sing, although they didn’t fit wonho’s style at all. and from that point on, he had always made the songs himself. meaning he had to spend more time in the studio, making beats and melodies and writing lyrics and recording and practicing the choreos. wonho was the one who introduced shown to the company and they accepted him as a choreographer an after a year, shownu was able to open his own dance school and lend some money to kihyun so the guy could open his own restaurant which was now a success. everyone was winning at their lives when it came to their jobs. all of them, even jooheon was a known producer these days, the songs he produced went head to head with wonho’s and they would chase each other on the charts but it never affected their friendship. after a while, wonho had asked jooheon if he wanted to move to his company cuz the CEO of their company was interested in his style and jooheon had said yes. so atleast he would see wonho, while they both were making songs.

 

it was all good, just that minhyuk was fucking lonely and miserable. he missed wonho. he loved him too much. too much he felt like he would die if another day went by without him seeing his boyfriend. it was 3 AM when he decided to video call him.he wasn’t at the same country so it would be daytime. when he picked up and he smiled at the screen, minhyuk immediately felt better but burst into tears.

“ min? baby are you crying? what’s wrong? “ wonho’s voice soothed his aching heart but it wasn’t enough. he wanted him to be there. he wanted him to hold him. to touch him.

“ i miss you. “ he said while his voice cracked and more tears followed. wonho had tears in his eyes, threatening to fall at any second but he was surrounded by people.

“ wait baby, let me find somewhere quiet.” walking for a while with the phone in his hand , he finally walked into an empty room and sat down, looking at the camera again.

“ mini, my puppy, i miss you so much, you can’t even imagine. “ he tried to smile to hide the glassy eyes and be the strong one in the relationship but minhyuk knew him too damn well to be fooled like that.

“ why aren’t you here then if you miss me so bad? can’t you just have fewer concerts?you had a concert there like a month ago and now you’re having one at the exact same fucking city. your fans see you more than me. “

wonho just listened to him silently while wiping the tears that finally fell down, looking down cuz he didn’t dare to look at minhyuk’s eyes.

“ i’m really sorry mini, i really am. but the company sorts these schedules and there’s nothing i can do. i promise i’ll make it up to you, ok? “

minhyuk knew nothing would change, that wonho would only grow more famous that one meant more busy and less time with him but he wanted to let himself believe that at some point it would all be ok. he would be back or he himself would be able to deal with all the distance.

 

 

 

 

 

( 1 year ago )

wonho had just come back from a japan tour before going on a europe tour right after and having only two days to rest in which he mostly had been unconscious due to the amount of tiredness. sure they had a mind blowing sex and they had cuddled while wonho had told him all the crazy things that had happened behind the cameras while on tour and sure they were fucking amusing to listen to while being in the arms of the man you loved the most on earth but the knowledge that he would be gone again for another two months was eating him up. it’s been 4 years and he was just reaching his limit.

wonho loved him so much, he was sure of it but he always loved his career just like minhyuk himself but he didn’t realize why he had to go on so many tours on and on. why couldn’t he be one of those solo artists that were only touring around their own country, singing ballad songs? why did he have to become the first ever solo artist that had become this famous all over the globe? it was his right to want his boyfriend to himself, at least a whole weekend, being able to walk hand in hand in a mall without being attacked by crazy fans. he just hated celebrity life and he was drowned in it more each day. even his name and a picture was out in so many articles a year ago when the paparazzi had caught them kissing in an alley.

and then two days later, after a hundred kisses and sincere apologies wonho had left again. leaving him there at the door frame of their shared apartment as he fell to the ground, crying for a long time until jooheon came. he said that wonho had called him and told him to go check on him as he was worried. minhyuk cried for a long time in jooheon’s embrace until he fell asleep.

from that day on, they started spending more time together. jooheon would pick movies and they would just watch and cheer for different characters. jooheon for superhero, minhyuk for the villains. the would nearly always end up bickering but at the end of the movie, they would give each other a bro hug and laugh it off.

and then after a month of spending nearly every second day together, at a night when minhyuk was alone at home, drinking beyond his limit and crying his eyes off again after a video call with his beloved boyfriend, jooheon gave him a surprise visit. upon seeing him like that, he had hugged the older guy tightly. they had drunk more unitl they both were wasted and in a crazy situation, without much thought, they had started making out. one thing lead to another and they ended up in bed, the bed he was supposed to share with wonho, and having sex.

the next morning when minhyuk woke up and saw a naked jooheon sleeping next to his own naked body, he felt his stomach turn and he wanted to throw up. not because of the man next to him but because of himself. because of what he had done. because he had cheated on who he loved with all his heart. he left his own apartment before jooheon would wake up and left a message for him to please leave and not visit him for a while.

of course, he knew jooheon would be hurt but he was hating himself so much, that he didn’t wanna see anyone. not going home and staying at a hotel or the company as he couldn’t dare to go to his shared place,he started hating wonho for not being there for him. for having pushed him so far that something like this had happened. he didn’t answer the singer’s calls anymore or others’.

 

 

 

when wonho came back from the tour, he was devastated. minhyuk haven’t answered his calls or messages for a whole month and no-one knew anything. and to add to that, jooheon had avoided and ignored him as well. as soon as he landed, he went directly to the company and found minhyuk thinner than ever drowned in a mountain of paper work he usually gave others to deal with. he went to the office without bothering to knock as he was a little bit angry as to why he was being treated like that.

“ why aren’t you answering my calls? “ he asked trying to hide his gaze and slightly angry tone. minhyuk only looked up for a mere second without any reaction before going back to the papers.

“ oh you’re back. “ wonho narrowed his eyes and walked to the table. grabbing minhyuk’s jaw a little too tightly and turning his head upwards so he would be looking at him “ you didn’t answer me. i asked why are you ignoring my calls? “

pushing wonho’s hand away from his jaw and standing up mere centimeters from the muscular man’s body, he looked straight in his eyes.

“ i don’t want to answer that as this relationship was never built on pleasing the needs of the other person. “ wonho’s features changed from tense to sad in a matter of seconds and he pulled his boyfriend in for a tight hug

“ i’m so sorry min, i swear there’s nothing i can do. if i wanna spend more time with you, i should quit my job cuz i won’t be able to otherwise. “

“ then quit. “ minhyuk said coldly and it made wonho move a little backwards to look at his face. “ what?! “

“ you say you love me right? then just quit. how can you love me and be able to stay away from me all the time? “

“ what are you talking about? are you seriously asking me to quit my career?! “ wonho couldn’t believe his ears.

“ yes, i am, time to choose tiger. me or the stage? no, i should ask it like this, me or your beloved fans? “ wonho had his mouth open, not believing the situation at all. after a couple of seconds, he let go of minhyuk and took a few steps backwards.

“ you know i love my job so much. how can you ask me to do something like that? “ he asked in disbelief.

“ you know you love ME so much as well. how can YOU leave me all alone like that? “ minhyuk fired back with an empty expression.

wonho took a look around the office and inhaled deeply to calm himself down a bit.

“ what is this about? this had been going on for 4 years, you’ve never been like this. what’s happened? jooheon’s been ignoring me too. “ he asked with a softer tone this time. minhyuk sat down on his chair again and crossed his legs.

“ exactly, it’s been 4 years of you leaving me behind to go greet them fans and receive their ‘love’ and ‘support’ . i can’t help thinking my love should have never been enough for you. “

“ what the fuck are you even talking about min! that’s pure bullshit. you know i love you. more than anyone else. i don’t perform to receive ‘love’. i perform because i love performing. i can’t believe you think that way about me. “

minhyuk shrugged and lifted an eyebrow “ either way, my offer still stands. if you want us to continue, you should quit. i can’t have this celebrity life thingie anymore. “

“ are you saying you’d break up with me if i don’t quit? “ wonho felt how his heart started beating fast, panicking at what he had just heard and his body going cold. minhyuk stared at him for a while before saying a strong “ yes. “

wonho chuckled nervously as a tear rolled down his cheek.

“ does this have anything to do with joo? “ he heard himself asking, not believing that he was finally mouthing his deepest darkest thoughts of his best friend and boyfriend having something between them. he had started suspecting when they both ignored him and now he was becoming sure when minhyuk told him he wanted to break up.

minhyuk frowned upon hearing jooheon’s name and bit hard on his lip. standing up and rushing to wonho, he punched the latter in the face, hard. wonho didn’t fall down but a little blood did frame at the corner of his lip as he was holding to his face, shocked at the action. when he looked at minhyuk, he saw the man crying, clutching his teeth and his whole body trembling with anger.

“ i hate you, you know that? i hate the person you made me become. i needed you. i needed you and you weren’t there. you’re never there. what about me? huh? am i not worthy of your time? why the fuck did you not just toss me into the trash can if you wanted to be away all the freaking time then? do you know what i did? i slept with jooheon. i slept with him in our bed and i could smell your scent when i woke up the next morning with him next to me. i hate you so fucking much i want to just tear you to shreds right now. i don’t think i’d be able to look at you again even if you actually did quit that fucking job of yours. i hate you. leave. don’t even come near me again. “ minhyuk pushed him out of the office and closed the door on his face and locked it. wonho just stood there, in shock of all the outburst and the fact that he and his best friend both had cheated on him. he left eventually, not being able to deal with it in his current condition.

wonho knew it was hard for min, but the other had never told him he hated it this much so how could he know? right now, he didn’t know whether he should’ve felt angry because of the betrayal or guilty because of leading him into this but he was sure about something. he wanted to punch jooheon so bad.


	35. Thirty Five

Ever since wonho had been discharged, they all took turns in staying with him and making sure he ate his meals properly and stayed away from alcohol. he had told them he didn’t need babysitters and that they should just let him be but they couldn’t risk it again. today was hyungwon’s turn. As he arrived at wonho’s doorstep, just before he could ring the bell, the door was opened by a very good looking man that he remembered from somewhere. the man got shocked upon seeing him right in front of himself and stared at him for a couple of seconds before leaving quietly but with fast steps. hyungwon looked at the man walking away, thinking where he has seen him before and suddenly it came to his mind. he was Minhyuk. Wonho’s ex, minhyuk. feeling uneasy and worried about the singer, he walked in cautiously but he only saw jooheon in the living room, sitting with his head thrown back, staring at the ceiling.

“ jooheon? was that minhyuk?! “ he asked while putting his backpack and jacket on the kitchen counter. jooheon’s body jerked as he still hadn’t realized hyungwon had come and looked at him with widened eyes before relaxing his features again and sitting up.

“ yeah…” he sighed and looked to the other side and then put his hands on his knees, pushing himself up. “ now that you’re here, i’ll get going.” he paused on his way to the door. “ oh and ah… don’t push him now, he’s… he’s not in a good condition. “ hyungwon nodded. he already knew he wonho wouldn’t be in a good condition as soon as he saw minhyuk walking out of his place. after jooheon left, he walked to the bedroom in slow steps as there was no sound coming from there.

 

looking inside, he saw wonho lying in bed. he thought he was asleep so he turned on his heels to get out but then the latter called his name. he made his way to bed and sat on the edge, looking down at a red-eyed wonho. had he cried? as soon as their eyes met, wonho smiled at him. one of those smiles that were genuine and warm not the fake ones he threw at people sometimes. hyungwon could tell the difference easily.

 

wonho’s eyes were on hyungwon’s but they moved to the latter’s hair that was beautifully parted, the nose, the cheeks and the lips. and then he sat up.

“ do you wanna go somewhere? “ hyungwon was taken aback by the sudden offer.

“ do you have a place in mind? “ wonho thought about it for a second and exhaled and then nodded.

“ the arcade, let’s go to the arcade. “

“ but won’t people recognize you? “

“ i’ll wear a hat and a mask. come on.” patting hyungwon’s thigh and jumping out of the bed, he went to change his clothes. hyungwon just sat there and watched him as he changed.

 

 

after four hours of constant playing and fooling around and screaming like kids whether they had won or lost, they were sitting on a bench in a park, eating ice-cream. wonho was quiet. to quiet and hyungwon didn’t like it. he knew something was wrong from the way the elder had escaped to the land of games to escape thinking but he didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it. hyungwon’s doctor instinct told him that he needed to get it out of him cuz it’s never healthy to keep it in.

“ so… wanna tell me what happened today? “ wonho looked at him from the side of his eyes and seemed surprised, he probably didn’t know hyungwon saw minhyun leaving.

“ come on hyung. i saw minhyun at the door. you can talk to me. i won’t tell.”

wonho looked at him and laughed. “ you are you gonna tell silly! “and then the smile changed to sadness and disappeared.

“ he told me that i should move on. that… that the accident wasn’t my fault and i shouldn’t blame myself for it anymore. he said he let me blame myself in the past months cuz he wanted me to be in pain for the things i put him through but he couldn’t take it anymore. to tell you in a nutshell, he doesn’t hate me that much anymore, but that’s only because he’s an angel, not because what i did could be easily forgiven … “ wonho’s voice cracked and hyungwon immediately put his hand on his shoulder for emotional support. 

“ will you tell me about this accident you mention so often? does it have anything to do with your constant nightmares? “ hyungwon felt how the older’s muscles tensed under his palm and he gasped, holding his breath.

“ when i came back from my last tour, i went to min’s office and he broke up with me that day. but i didn’t wanna let it go without a fight. you know, i wanted to try fixing it if possible. i told him we had to talk and that i’d pick him up from his place. i had a whole love confession planned with lots of flowers and everything at a restaurant out of town. and on our way there, we got hit by another car. it hit us in min’s side. “ wonho bit hard on his lip several times. “ i wasn’t even scratched, it didn’t appear to be a fatal accident but then when i looked at min, he was…” he exhaled roughly while a tear or two dropped from his eyes. “ his whole face was covered in blood and he didn’t answer me. “ wonho paused as he wasn’t able to talk with all the sobbing. hyungwon moved closer to him and put his arm over his shoulder while wonho cried with his head low and tears dropping on the ground.

“ he was … he was in the coma for two weeks. his body wasn’t injured. only his brain cuz he had hit a fatal part. and because i had a tour, i had to leave him there like that. there was nothing i could do. i tried everything to stay but they wouldn’t let me. i left him there like that. and then when he woke up, i flew back to see him but he didn’t want that. he told the guys to not let me in. so i never saw him again until today. “ wonho wiped his tears away and chuckled “ aah you really are a psychiatrist. you made me talk just like that. “

hyungwon watched him as he looked to the sky and tried to blink the tears away but a few of them still found their way down on the temples and disappeared in his hair.

“ but why would you blame yourself for the accident? “

“ if i hadn’t picked him up that day, none of it would’ve happened. and i took a root that no-one really uses cuz the accident ratio is rather high. i guess i just wanted to arrive there faster, taking the shorter root. “ wonho suddenly stood up and stretched his body. “ come on, let’s go home. i’ll drive. “

 

hyungwon had fallen asleep on their way home. wonho was glad about it as he actually wished the younger wouldn’t be able to notice the place the place they were headed to. when they arrived at the parking lot, he shook the boy to wake him up. hyungwon woke up rather quickly unlike usual. looking around with slept eyes, his eyes widened a little when he realized they were in fact in his own apartment’s parking lot.

“ why are we here? i thought you said we’re going home. “

“ yes. we are. this is your home. “ wonho got out of the car and opened the door for hyungwon as the younger boy followed him out with a question mark on his face.

wonho walked to the entry of the building and then stopped, turning around and waiting for a hesitant hyungwon to arrive there. the latter stopped in front of him, looking at him with a slight frown.

“ why are we here hyung? are you saying you wanna stay in my house for a change? “ wonho smiled and shook his head.

“ i’m saying you should stay in your house for a change. have you seen yourself in the mirror hyungwon? you look like a zombie. you’re thinner than ever. you tell me to talk but have you talked to anyone about lili? you don’t even bring her up, have you noticed? you don’t need to take care of me. you’re not responsible for that. i’m good and i’m leaving tonight for tour. “

“ tonight?! but, but jongup said- “

“ jongup wanted to cancel the first city but i didn’t let him. hyungwon, i … i know how you feel about me. it’s written all over your face. and i like you, i really do but you shouldn’t be waiting for me. this is my life. i’m always on the road. i’m always gonna choose the stage first. i can’t let it go. at least not now and i don’t wanna ruin another person like i did with minhyuk ever again. i’m better off alone. You are better off with someone who can be there for you. i didn’t even bother to ask you how you were doing after everything, that’s how much of a self-centered person i am. i don’t want you to end up like minhyuk. you know he was, he was the sunshine. the actual sunshine with how much he smiled and fooled around and now he’s just like a broken machine. i won’t call you. don’t call me either. let’s remain a good memory, ok? “ wonho talked without a pause and a with a sad smile on his face as he grabbed hyungwon’s smooth hands in his and rubbed on them throughout the whole speech. with one last squeeze and taking the sight in to carve into his memory, he let go, put the car keys in hyungwon’s hand and turned away. hyungwon didn’t follow him. he just stood there, looking at his back as he left.


	36. Thirty Six

( earlier that day ) 

 

“ won, can you come out to the living room? there’s someone here. “ jooheon said nervously. wonho put on a shirt and followed him out only to be faced with minhyuk. him standing there brought back all the memories. good and bad ones. he didn’t know for how long they were staring at each other but minhyuk was the first one to break the silence. 

“ shall we sit? “ he was the first one to sit and gestured for the two to sit as well. as soon as wonho sat down on the same sofa but with a big gap between them, minhyuk started talking in a serious tone but calmly.

“ what the fuck won? what are you trying to prove like this? “ 

“ what… are you talking about? “  wonho couldn’t take his eyes off of the man but he also didn’t dare to look at him for much longer so he just lowered his gaze. 

“ i’m talking about all this. your face. you look really fucked up. i’m not a fan of your career but how are you even gonna go on stage looking like that? “ minhyuk gestured at him from head to toe. wonho was biting on his cheek repeatedly.

“ i deserve this. “ he said it in a barely noticeable volume. minhyuk exhaled harshly.

“ at some points you do, but you also broke our relationship for your career so shouldn’t you at least be taking responsibility for that? “ wonho didn’t know what to say so he just stayed silent. 

“ the accident, it wasn’t your fault. i know you’re beating yourself up for that. you even started doing drugs. fucking drugs! i’m not gonna lie, i wanted you to suffer like i did so although i never felt like it was your fault, ever, i didn’t say it out loud. just to let you taste the sorrow a little bit. but then you went off the road. overdosing over and over, like, when did you become this stupid? you used to be good at math! “ 

“ they…. weren’t exactly miscalculations. not all of them… i mean i really didn’t know what i was doing at that point anymore but ,, yeah… “ 

“ won, i’m saying this only once so you better listen to me carefully. i’ve forgiven you. i’ve moved on. it was hard and lonely but i did. i think the more you stayed away the easier it became for me to just let go. and now it’s your turn. i don’t love you that way anymore but deep down you’re still a very dear friend to me. i don’t like seeing you ruin your body. i don’t like it that i’m the reason for you doing all that. so although i really didn’t wanna see you ever again, cuz i still want to punch you, i came to say that i forgave you. it’s time for you to forgive yourself as well. “ minhyuk looked at jooheon for a couple of seconds and smiled “ i’m happy you two made up. won, when you… when you wanna be with someone in the future, make sure you’re able to be there when they want you. loneliness can do strange things to people. look what it made me do. look what it made us do. i hope we both find love again. one that stays. “ minhyuk bit his lip a few times while looking at wonho who had his head down the whole time before standing up. as he was passing wonho, he felt a grip around his wrist. 

“ min, i… i’m really sorry. i never meant for any of this to happen. but you made me feel loved and i’ll always be thankful for that and i’ll always love you although i’m not worthy of it. “ he felt how the grip tightened on his wrist.

“ can i … can i hug you? one last time? “ wonho looked at him with pleading and teary eyes. minhyuk nodded shortly and he found himself in wonho’s strong arms in a blink of an eye. he had hugged him so tight it was hard to breathe. he felt how wonho inhaled his scent and buried his head in his neck while caressing his hair. they stood like that for several minutes. minhyuk didn’t hug back but he didn’t try to get out of the embrace either. and then at some point, wonho loosened his grip and cupped his face and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. he was pouring all of his feelings, the sadness, the regrets, the sorrow and the love into that single kiss and then he let go and took one step back while looking down at his feet. murmuring another ‘ i’m sorry ‘ while tears fell down, he rushed to the bedroom. afraid that if he stayed longer, he’d start begging him to give him another chance or something. he still loved minhyuk. he loved him so much. or maybe it was pure guilt that didn’t let him move on. it didn’t matter how much everyone kept telling him it wasn’t his fault. he could never get it inside his head. but hearing it from minhyuk, had indeed calm his thoughts a little. and he was right. he shouldn't put any other person in his position again. any other person, like hyungwon. the innocent doctor who had grown feelings towards him although he didn’t get the reasoning behind that. how could anyone fall for a mess that was him? he had never given any thought to starting anything with the latter but he needed to be responsible, like minhyuk said, and finish it. for both of them, especially for the pink-haired beauty.


	37. Thirty Seven

To say that hyungwon was broken was an understatement. he had lost his sister. he didn’t give up searching like she told him to. he kept on searching everywhere. called so many places. checked the flights and stations over and over again but there were no signs of lili anywhere. at some point, he just gave up. he hadn’t talked to yongguk, the person he had grown up with, ever since that day in his house. he still couldn’t see the other man or talk to him although the elder had called and texted him many times. he felt he could prevent this from happening if guk had told earlier. not seeing him meant not seeing their mutual friends as well and he didn’t really have friends other than his childhood ones. he had hung out a few times with kai ever since wonho had left him as well but it was only two boys eating or drinking and talking about hospital-related stuff.

with patients coming and going frequently, the only person he really felt comfortable with, the only one that had stayed there a long time, was taehyung. the latter had said he would think about leaving but it’s been months and he still refused to talk about it. he had seen wonho calling taehyung a couple times when he was at his room and he kinda wanted to rip the phone out of his hand and talk to him but he didn’t.

that night, when wonho had told him what he did and then left, he stood there for a long time. repeating what he had heard in his head over and over again. his emotional side and the doctor characteristic were in a close battle. the emotional side of him wanted to run after him, maybe even kiss him and tell him it’s ok but the professional side knew he had to give him space. time to think, to sort out his thoughts and if he wanted, he could come back to him. but the professional side also had talked to himchan about how the other man seemed to think he wasn’t worthy of receiving love and that he had a very strong blaming pattern. himchan guessed it had something to do with his childhood but he hadn’t told him further, saying he had promised the father of the singer not to say anything.

so here he was, alone, tired and bored to death. now that he didn’t have lili to take care of or wonho for that matter, he didn’t know what to do with all his free time. a thought crossed his mind and he picked his phone up and dialled a number.

“ hello? “

“ shown hyung, it’s hyungwon. “

“ i know wonnie, i have your number silly! “

“ ah… hyung, i was wondering, can i come to your school? to practice and stuff? “

“ you wanna dance again? of course you can! i’m gonna text you the address right away. wow, i can’t believe this! “

and so he went. moving and dancing to the beat again after such a long time had a strange feeling to it. of course he still danced at home from time to time but this was different. more focused, more professional and in front of others. soon he remembered how much he loved the feeling and he figured that nothing had changed, he still loved everything about dancing.

this became his routine. he ate, he went to his shift at the hospital, he went to the dance school, he slept, repeat. neither shown or himself couldn’t believe how fast his body remembered the old moves and how easy it was for him to perfect them. it was almost like he had never stopped.

Three months passed like that. he would watch wonho on his world tour on Instagram posts. somedays his eyes were sad although he had a big smile on his face and some days he looked genuinely happy. around the end of the third month, he noticed how the singer had gained a very little amount of weight, gaining back the muscles he had lost during all the drama he went through and he couldn’t help feeling happy about it.

 

hyungwon was just laying down on his bed after spending the entire day practicing and being worn out when he got a notification saying wonho had updated.

 

 

Hi #wonbebe !

Thanks for being with me during this world tour. It’s finished now. As a thanks for all the love and support you always gift me with, i have a song especially for you. i made it during the tour. Just don’t tell the company about it kkkkk. check it out on my SoundCloud. I like it, how about you? #I’ll_be_there

 

 

 

Hyungwon quickly switched to soundcloud and played the song. he knew the song was supposed to be for the fans but there was a long that caught his attention ‘ over the sea blue moonlight hangs, how about you? I’m good. ‘

It was strange how Wonho had called blue. he always said it was gray but in his song he mentioned it to be blue. It was strange because, during one of their many night talks at the hospital, they had this conversation about the moon. wonho said it’s gray and hyungwon said it’s better to call it blue. a light shade of it, that it would be prettier like that. hyungwon just shook his head a little to get rid of the thought. there was no way wonho had written a song with him and his opinions in mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned is " I'll be there " by Monsta X. Wonho made the song himself :)


	38. Thirty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is somehow all about Instagram? i love that app! 
> 
> please note that when there are pictures next to eachother, it means they were a thread. :]  
> Alsooo, MX is their group name from the World Of Dance times. Enjoy!

 

The World Tour had finished, meaning wonho was back in his hometown and for the first time in a long time, he had some free time to himself. he had a whole month until his schedules would start again. and judging by the constant uploading, the fans knew he was both being bored and having fun. but they were happy by the spam their Idol graced them with. cuz well, they loved him. And a certain hyungwon was happy to see so many photos of wonho after so long not having seen him smiling like that. just that he wished he was seeing those straight teeth in person.

 

 

  

**1,098,450 Likes        21,620 Comments**

**WonHo**

Pictures taken by #wonbebe !  I have no explanation for other two but that plushie was being a bad boy.

 

 

 

 

 

  

**2,001,300 Likes      890,102 Comments**

**WonHo**

who? me? what's kink....y.....?? 

 

 

 

 

 

**982,450 Likes      23,679 Comments**

**WonHo**

memes made by #wonbebe ! QOD: Does Wonhee love Romyon too? 

 

 

 

 

**1,823,007 Likes      68,639 Comments**

**WonHo**

No! I don't deserve you #wonbebe <3

 

 

 

 

 

**1,972,032 Likes      87,423 Comments**

**WonHo**

It's not my fault he is such a comfy chair! 

P.s. : how can he be so handsome? 

 

 

 

 

  

**2,890,920 Likes      98,248 Comments**

**WonHo**

****I'd missed these punks! #most_favorite_ppl #MX

 

 

 

 

 

**1,999,999 Likes      989,234 Comments**

**WonHo**

Selca time. Lenses or Glasses?

 

 

 

 

 

**938,530 Likes      239,493 Comments**

**WonHo**

I read all of them. Thank you #wonbebe. saranghaeyooo 

 

 

 

 

 

**1,823,984 Likes      837,348 Comments**

**WonHo**

Did i spam too much? #sorry_not_sorry

 

 

 

 

*******

After the rapid spamming, people got curious as to why wonho hadn't posted any pictures with Minhyuk like he always did. There were rumors about them breaking up but neither one of them had ever said anything so it was never confirmed. and then article after article, the media started pointing the issue out.

( one of the articles: ) 

 

 _Yesterday, the famous solo artist, Wonho, fed his fans with so many IG updates. Now we all know he is an openly gay celebrity who's been in a relationship with a former group-mate, Lee Minhyuk. They were in the MX dance group together back in the WOD times. But the question is, why didn't he post any pictures with his boyfriend? Are the rumors true? Were the songs in the latest album about the two breaking up? Tell us what you think in the comments below._ '

 

 

 

The issue got quite big and everyone were talking about it over the social media, so the company decided to make an announcement that the two had indeed broken up but they're in good terms with each other as it's been many months after the incident already. 

 

 

 


	39. Thirty Nine

It was friday night and they were gonna have a party at shown us’ dance school for Halloween. Hyungwon didn’t know what to wear. he wasn’t the dressing up kind and had never wore a costume in his whole life. so he just decided to go in his usual clothing. he wore ripped skinny jeans, a silk loose black shirt and to just add something out of ordinary to appeal to the halloween thingie just a little bit, he were a ribbon in a shape of a bow tie around his neck and turned it so the bow tie was on the back of his neck. he looked in the mirror and decided it was enough so left to the party.

He knew it was gonna be a big party but he did not expect this many people to be there. there was so many people dancing, drinking, laughing in all kinds of customs. Hyungwon was just looking around when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was changkyun.

“ hyung! long time no see! we missed you. “ the younger said cheerfully

“ thanks cyan. are others here too? “ he pat changkyun’s back once before the younger lead them both to the bar. and yes, minhyuk was there as well. in a vampire custom. upon seeing him minhyuk frowned for a second before a wide smile appeared on his face. 

“ i remember you. i saw you at wonho’s house. hyungwon, right? “ he stretched his hand towards hyungwon. honestly, he didn’t have anything against the guy and he loved his vibe so he shook his hand gently an smiled.

“ yeah and you’re minhyuk. it’s nice to finally meet you after having heard so much. “ 

“ good things i hope. “ minhyuk chuckled before looking at him from head to toe. “ what are you supposed to be though? a present? “ a nasty grin appeared on his face.

“ ah.. no. i just didn’t have or want to have a custom so i just wore this and then added the bow tie so that it wasn’t too empty. “  minhyuk looked at him with a look of adoration in his eyes all the while he was explaining his outfit slowly. and when he was done talking, min came closer and poked his cheek.

“ you’re so cute! thanks for the explanation. but! it’s a halloween party and i’m not gonna let you go around looking like that.” 

“ what’s wrong with this? “ hyungwon looked at himself.

“ you look too hot! and too soft! so we need to add something a little intimidating. there are so many big bad wolves around here. we don’t them laying a hand on someone else’s present now, do we? “ hyungwon lifted an eyebrow as he hadn’t really understood one word that had left the other man’s mouth but he didn’t say anything and watched as minhyuk grabbed something, a red liquid?, and started putting some on the corner of his lip and the liquid started sliding down to his chin. 

“ there! now you’re a scary vampire who had just ate. “ he smiled again,showing his teeth. now he could understand what wonho meant by saying minhyuk is a sunshine and if this is supposed to be the more laid-back version of him, then he must have been jumping around all over the place before everything happening.

and then suddenly kihyun appeared and put a pair of fluffy cat ears on his hair and then he got hit by minhyuk.

“ oi! why are you putting cat ears on a vampire? “ 

“ shut up, he looks good with them. where’s shown for fuck’s sake? “ 

“ my workaholic brother said he wanted to stay at the studio instead of coming here so he and too went to drag his ass here.” 

“ wonho’s coming?! “ hyungwon found himself asking it in a higher voice that he had intended. minhyuk looked at him before chuckling.

“ i didn’t know he was into innocent ones.” and then he was dragged to the dance floor by changkyun. hyungwon did not know what that meant either so he just leaned against the bar, sipping on his gin and looking at them dance.

“ how have you been? we kinda missed having you around. “ kihyun said standing next to him.

“ i… didn’t know i was supposed to hang out. i mean, wonho is the connection between me and you guys so, with him gone…” 

“ you can always hang out with us hyungwon. do you wanna dance? “ 

“ you go first, i’ll join in a bit. “ 

and then after 3 gins, wasted as fuck but not knowing it himself he joined the other three at the dance floor. they were all dancing together and somehow he had ended up dancing face to face with minhyuk. and he didn’t mind it at all. maybe because he was drunk?

the song finished and the DJ decided it was time for a mellow rhythm so hyungwon went back to the bar to drink some more. as he was about to take the glass a hand grabbed his wrist and stopped him. looking to the source of the person who had dared to stop him from drinking the delicious liquid, he was faced with wonho in all his glory. he was looking at him intently, taking in every detail of his face and outfit. hyungwon looked at him too. he wasn’t wearing a custom either. he was just wearing whatever, thinking he would be working and not partying. still, he looked hot as fuck with how the long-sleeve shirt hugged his biceps and the messy hair.

“ i think you’ve drunk enough already. “ hyungwon spotted a slight frown on the older’s face along with a look of worry. wonho made him move his hand away from the glass.

“ your dancing skills are a killer. i forgot breathing while watching you. “ 

“ are you sure it wasn’t because of the person in front of me? “ he found himself asking, surprised that such a thing left his mouth himself. unlike him, wonho smiled slightly and shook his head.

“ no, i was looking at you. min has another person looking at him now. “ he turned his head to the dance floor and hyungwon did the same, spotting jooheon and minhyuk dancing together.

“ are they- “ hyungwon was asking with widened eyes but he was cut by wonho.

“ yeah, they are. they deserve this. both of them. “ hyungwon turned to look at wonho. he was worried sick at this moment. how are you supposed to feel when your ex-boyfriend gets together with your best friend? the best friend who he had cheated on him? he didn’t know.

“ are you okay? “ wonho took his gaze away from the dancing couple and looked at him.

“ yeah, it’s a casual scene between us to see these two being close to each other like that. min’s very touchy. and… the relationship part, i’m getting used to it little by little. as i said, they deserve this. “ 

“ and what about you? what do you deserve? “ hyungwon’s eyes were moving back and forth between the blonde’s facial features. his cheeks were a bit fuller than what he remembered and that was a good sign, besides he looked so softer like this.

“ i, deserve a dance. would you dance with me please? “ he knew the latter had escaped the question but didn’t point it out and simply walked towards the dance floor, standing in the middle of it, turning around and waiting for wonho to come. the latter stood there, scanning him from head to toe before making his way to him and then they danced. they danced for a very long time until they couldn’t really feel their legs anymore and until when hyungwon could feel his head throbbing a bit. 

walking to the set-up bar, he let himself fall into a chair and put his head down on his hands. his head was really starting to going at it.

a pill and a glass of water was placed in front of him by no other than wonho. 

“ why did you drink so much? you know you’re a lightweight! “ hyungwon took the pill and gulped down the water.

“ i didn’t know how to interact with you while being sober.” his straightforward answer shocked wonho a bit but then again he was used to the doctor’s straight answers. “ how do you know i’m a lightweight anyway! “ 

“ you lived in my house for a whole week and then stayed occasionally, remember? i know so many things about you.” wonho said while frowning and pressing his lips together, looking at his lips? 

he felt wonho’s thumb rubbing his chin as if trying to get something off of his skin.

“ why did you put this on your face? it’s becoming messy and it’s not getting off.” the latter said while still trying to erase the red liquid that min ha put on him earlier.

“ minhyuk. said i looked too soft and something about big bad wolves around here and i don’t even know what he meant by all that.” hyungwon put his elbow on the counter and rest his head on his palm while wonho was still trying hard to clean the mess on his face.

“ aish, it’s not getting off. it’s messing with my head. do you have kleenex or something? “hyungwon just mumbled a lazy no. wonho asked the guy behind the counter but he said no as well.

“ i’m sorry won but i really need to get this off or i’m losing my sanity.” then without realising what was happening, hyungwon felt wonho’s lips on his chin and in less than a second, he felt the warm tongue running on his chin to get the colour off. hyungwon was frozen. just sitting there with his head still on his hand for wonho to do as he wished. he couldn’t get himself to move even if he wanted to. after wonho thought he got it all, he leaned back and wiped the wetness off with his sleeve from the wide-eyed hyungwon.

“ there, now you’re good. you’re better looking like a kitty instead of a kitty-vampire hybrid. “ hyungwon struggled to know what he was saying before he remembered the cat ears. he had completely forgotten about them. his hand made it’s way to take them off but wonho slapped it away.

“ why? “ hyungwon pouted

“ why do you wanna take it off? it looks really good on you. “ wonho pouted back.

they heard a loud laughter next to them and they saw their group of friends approaching them.

“ why the pouty lips kids? “ shown teased them and poked wonho’s lips. wonho gave him a death stare before laughing.

“ he wanted to take those off. “ he pointed at the fluffy cat ears.

“ he slapped my hand! “ hyungwon whined and everyone laughed at the two stupids some more.

“ i have such silly kids, even god can’t help me. “ shownu sighed

“ don’t bring god in this conversation hyung or i’ll drag you to the church on sunday.” changkyun warned him

“ ugh you and your deep faithfulness. “ kihyun shook his head.

“ why did you wipe the vampireness away you bitch? “ minhyuk screamed at him

“ it was spreading all over you monster! why would you do that to his face anyway? “ wonho defended himself.

“ because he was standing there being a fucking present and i wanted to add a little hands-off to it. you wouldn’t like it if someone touched him eh? “  wonho groaned and looked again with pouty lips again. 

“ what was the pill you gave me though? it’s not working. my head is killing me. “ hyungwon whined massaging his temples.

“ take him home won. it’s too loud and crowded in here.” kihyun said and wonho stood up immediately. 

“ let’s go.” 

 

 

 

after saying no to wonho taking him to his house for ten times, there they were. at the parking lot of his own place. the exact same spot wonho had told him to not contact him. he still didn’t know what wonho was doing being all friendly and everything but his head hurt too much for that right now so he decided to think or ask about it later.

“ wanna come up? “ 

“ i have to get you in your apartment safely anyway. “ 

and they made their way to the elevator and up to hyungwon’s floor. opening the door, he threw his key on a table next to the door and went to the kitchen.

 “ coffee? tea? juice? “ he asked while pouring himself a glass of water and taking another painkiller.

“ i don’t want anything, thanks.” wonho replied while looking around the place. it was a little messy. well, a lot messy. clothes everywhere as he didn’t have time to go to the laundry the past week and books all over the floor. he had lots of books so at some point the shelves had become full. his blanket was on the sofa in front of the tv and so so many empty beer bottles.

“ sorry, it’s not as nice as your house.” wonho turned to him immediately. “ i have a cleaning lady. if i didn’t, my place would look ten times worse.” he gestured a ‘nah’ with his hand as well before going to the kitchen where hyungwon was. standing in front of him, he looked at his eyes.

“ your eyes are really red and you have deep red blush all over your face. how much did you drink exactly!!!?” 

“ more than usual i guess.” hyungwon said and cupped his own face between his palms, making his lips to get pouty a little with the force he used. he noticed wonho was staring at his lips and he let go of his face slowly, still looking at wonho’s face to see his reaction. to his surprise, wonho licked his lips unconsciously before coming back to his senses and breaking his stare to look around the kitchen nervously. hyungwon knew he wanted him just the same. he had missed the feeling of the pink curved lips on his own and he was having none of wonho’s self-control bullshit at the moment. grabbing the older by the collar and pulling him close with a strength he didn’t know he had, he cupped wonho’s face and locked their lips together. wonho was hesitant at first but then started kissing back while taking a deep breath and wrapping his hands around hyungwon’s waist. it wasn’t a rushed kiss. it was just a kiss to remember how it felt. 

“ stay. “ hyungwon said when they broke the kiss to gain their breaths. wonho looked at him thoroughly and let his thumb slide on the younger’s lower lip while biting his lip.

“ okay. “ he smiled warmly at the pink-haired beauty who still had those cat ears on his head. taking it off gently and putting it on the counter, he grabbed hyungwon’s wrist and lead him to the way he assumed was the bedroom. he was right. seeing hyungwon sleepy and dizzy as he was, he knew there was no point in making the latter brush his teeth or take a shower so he just tucked him under the blankets and watched him as he fell asleep within a few seconds. 


	40. Forty

Hyungwon was at the hospital, taking care of a few reports and being bored as hell. somehow the hospital wasn’t the place he preferred to be when he woke up anymore.

It’s been four days since he had last seen wonho. which was at his own house after the halloween party. When he had woke up the next morning, wonho wasn’t there but a made coffee and a note that said, sorry i had to go to a company meeting was there. he couldn’t help feeling sad and disappointed but he was strong enough not to contact the other first. it wasn’t because of pride, it was simply because he didn’t wanna push himself on wonho, although he loved the guy so much.

His phone started ringing and the singer’s name was shown on the screen.

“ hello? “

“ hey hyungwon. whats up?

“ nothing, just the usual. “

“ listen, how’s taehyung’s condition? is he stable? “

“ yeah…. why? “

“ is himchan there? “

“ yes, why are you asking? “

“ i’ll be there in a bit. i’ll tell you when i get there.” 

and so he was left with all the curiosity in the world.

 

he was walking along the hallway when someone entered. he was looking at the person from the corner of his eyes. the body seemed familiar but something wasn’t right. turning to the person he nearly shouted with how  shocked he was “ YOUR HAIR IS BLACK “ 

wonho got taken aback by his outburst and his body jerked at his tone but then he chuckled cutely. “ yours is still pink. is himchan at his office? “ 

“ yeah, why did you dye it black? blond looked so good on you.” hyungwon hadn’t had the chance to appreciate the blonde hair up close as much as he wanted so he was really really pouty and annoyed at the change of colour. so annoyed that he didn’t even look closely to see if it suit the singer or not. walking fast toward himchan’s office, wonho knocked twice and opened the door without waiting for an allowance. somehow he liked provoking the doctor and it had become obvious by then.

“ hey doc. “ 

“ wonho! long time no see. what gives me the honour? “ 

“ you should thank taehyung for the pleasure of seeing me right now.” he chuckled and sat down.

“ taehyung? what about him? “ 

“ hmm,,, you know about jimin, right? “  himchan was surprised at the name mentioned 

“ he told you about jimin? really? “ wonho nodded.

“ yeah, well, the whole thing sounded a little fishy to me so i’ve been looking around for him and now i’ve finally found him. he’s actually in the car. so if taehyung is stable i think it’s best if we let them meet.” 

himchan and hyugwon both were looking at him with their jaws dropped open. the singer cared more than they thoughts he wa capable of.

“ hyungwon, go get taehyung. “ hyungwon nodded and ran out. “ we need to talk to him and prepare him first though. did he tell you why he left? “ 

“ i think it’s better if you hear it from him. “ 

“ how are you though? have you visited your parents? “ wonho was tapping his fingers on the table next to him repeatedly and looking around from spot to spot.

“ why are you so stressed out wonho? “ as if the question had made wonho come back to his senses, he stopped all his movements all of a sudden and stared at himchan as if he hadn’t understood the question fully.

“ ah,,, just some work stuff. why is it taking him so long? “ and then he started taping his feet. himchan looked at him closely, there was something wrong. he was so stressed that he couldn’t sit still but knowing him, he wasn’t gonna talk unless he wanted to. 

the door opened and taehyung ran to wonho, hugging him tightly.

“ hyung ! you promised to visit! how many months has it been? “ he whined

“ sorry tae, i was on tour, you know that. we still talked, right? “ 

“ yeah, i’m happy you’re here now. will you stay a bit? “ 

“ actually, i really gotta go but there’s someone here who wants to see you. “ 

“ who?” taehyung let wonho go as if he knew something was up.

“ tae, would you like to see jimmy again? like what would you do if he came in through that door right now? “ 

taehyung was quiet, he just kept looking at wonho with a frown. after a minute or two of no replying, wonho grabbed taehyung’s shoulders and squeezed them while looking at his eyes

“ listen tae, he didn’t leave you. not the way you believe he did. i searched for him. i found him. he’s in my car outside right now. he really wants to see you. he thought you were sent to Australia. your parents lied to him.” wonho looked at his watch and frowned “ tae i don’t have much time. i really have to go. should i tell him to come inside? “ taehyung had a few tears in his eyes when he nodded slowly and hesitantly. wonho nodded back and left after caressing tae’s hair for a second and saying a brief goodbye to the doctors, not really looking at hyungwon the whole time he was there.

 

the door opened shortly after wonho left and a very handsome lost-looking boy came in. he froze when he saw taehyung standing in the middle of the office, as shocked as he himself. after what seemed like several minutes, jimmy started walking towards taehyung who was still frozen on his spot.

“ taehyungie, what have they done to you? “ he broke into tears and hugged taehyug as tight as he could. the latter was hesitant at first but then hugged back with the same intensity and started crying as well.

“ why… why did you leave me? “ he asked between the sobs. jimin loosened his grip and leaned back so he could look at taehyung’s eyes.

“ i didn’t. i thought you left me. one day while i was working at the studio, a middle aged guy came there and told me someone wanted to see me. it turned out to be your parents. they told me i had to leave you and that you were sick and you had told them to tell me you didn’t wanna see me again. they said you left to Australia to both live and get treatment. i called you a million times and went to your place and asked everyone i knew, but no-one knew anything. so i…” he exhaled sharply “ after months of nothing, i decided i had to go where you were and search for you there so i went to Australia and searched every hospital. if only i knew what they meant by being sick. i didn’t even think of checking mental hospitals or none of this would’ve happened. i’m so sorry baby. i’m really really sorry i wasn’t there for you.” 

taehyung stood there listening to jimin as he talked. somewhere along the way the tears had stopped. when the handsome guy finished his last sentence, taehyung turned his face to himchan. he looked serious. unlike always. 

“ you still think i should try and forgive my parents? i’ll hate you if you do. i wanna leave. and i don’t want you to tell them where i’ll go or that jimin was here. do the paper work. i’ll be with jimin in my room. “

taehyung grabbed jimin’s wrist and lead him out of the office. he was totally different from the taehyung they knew. this taehyung appeared very manly unlike the childish one they had grown accustomed to. was he like this before everything? 

 

“ are you gonna let him go? “ hyungwon asked himchan

“ if he wants to leave, we should let him. he doesn’t even take that many pills anymore. he could leave many months ago. “

“ i know but, is it safe to let him go just like that? “ 

“ hyungwon, you saw his face. there’s no way we can keep him here anymore. i should really thank wonho for this. by the way, do you know what was up with him? he was really stressed. “ hyungwon shook his head while chewing on his cheek. why was wonho in such a hurry? 


	41. Forty One

Wonho was losing his mind. So many things had happened in the previous week and he didn’t know what to deal with all of it anymore. why did all of them have to just come down on him at the same time? they weren’t hard occasions, not that bad, but when they all collided together, they had created a storm in wonho’s mind. one he couldn’t handle foe much longer.

first, he had gotten a call from the company the morning after the party while he was staying at hyungwon’s house. going there, he had found out that they wanted him to be involved in a scandal with an actress. an ACTRESS! the reason? publicity! they wanted some articles concerning the singer. he had refused as he never ever wanted to date a girl, not even in his dreams and he wasn’t gonna be in a scandal with one now. he didn’t wanna be a liar. he loved his fans and his honesty too much for that. eventually, they had started a fight and wonho had said he would leave the company if they push him further and had rushed out of the building. 

Jongup had called him many times, saying he had no idea the ceo had such plans or he could try and stop them but that didn’t change wonho’s mind. he wasn’t gonna do it. he could easily change his label. he was famous and so many companies wanted to work with him already. but there was a fee to pay in case of breaking the contract, a huge one and he didn’t wanna pay the company for what They did.

And then there was the other company, minhyuk’s. one of the big projects that he had worked on in the past was in a big trouble and the company’s reputation was at risk. some newbie had messed a program up and now they didn’t seem to be able to solve it easily. he had heard it from jooheon cuz minhyuk still didn’t wanna have him around that much and he himself didn’t wanna be around his ex because of the emotions he was still trying to get rid of but in the end he had decided to call minhyuk and offer help and because of the sensitivity of the situation he had gladly accepted and even thanked wonho for it. so the day the person who wonho had put to search for jimin had called, he was in the middle of a re-programming and because he cared too much for taehyung, he took a few hours to take his long-lost lover back to him.

he even had to dye his hair because he had to have meetings with government personas and he couldn’t be looking like a playboy for it. not if he wanted his word to have enough impact. so he did it black after years of having colourful hair. and it had worked as they had given them a chance to solve the problems instead of taking the rights from them. 

working with minhyuk had indeed brought back so many memories and thoughts. and he could not take a certain conversation they had during the past week out of his head. 

they were just solved a major bug in the program after three days of nonstop working, basically solving most of the problem they were dealing with and they decided to take a break. sinking down on the sofa in the office with beers in hand they started talking.

 “ so… you and hyungwon, huh? “ minhyuk had been the one to break the ice. sure, jooheon had told him with much concern that he had got together with minhyuk and asked him if he was ok, and he said he was, but he still wasn’t that okay with the whole situation but he didn’t own them. they could do as they wished. he had just kept his conversations on minimal with jooheon somehow without even realising it himself and ignored minhyuk completely although they had seen each other a few times during the party and his working at the company these past days.

“ there’s nothing between us.” he replied with a cold voice. he was tired. he had got back from tour to lock himself in the studio, not to face jooheon, minhyuk or hyungwon just to be dragged to a party with all of them there and later on under pressure from two companies for different reasons. he felt like dying being that close to his first love. sometimes he wanted to just jump and kiss him and at that exact moment he could see a pink-haired hyungwon in front of his eyes.

“oh please won! i saw the way you looked at him. and the way he looks at you! he’s totally into you. plus, he’s a good kid.” 

“ exactly.”  wonho said while taking a sip.

“ huh?” 

“ he’s a good kid. he’s too good and has an innocent soul. it’s like you said min, i can’t ruin anyone else. the plot is still the same. i like him, very much but i can’t do this to him. “

minhyuk looked at him in awe  “you don’t like him you idiot. you love him! you’re head over heels for him, look at you! “ minhyuk slapped his bicep but wonho didn’t react and took another sip.

“ come on, let’s finish this so i can go deal with the other company.” 

he stood up and went to the laptop and sat behind it. minhyuk looked at him for a couple of seconds and did the same.

“ i know the plot is the same but he is already in love won. you’re gonna hurt him like this as well. at least talk to him. not facing the problem, won’t solve it.”

“ i know. that’s why this project is having difficulty right now.” he pointed at the laptop and the program he was fixing. minhyuk snorted and shook his head.

“ cheesy as ever.” and then they were drowned in their own heads with lines over lines of programming.

 

 

 

hyungwon was dancing at the school with shownu. the older guy had asked him to work on a chore with him, something they had to perform at a show later on and he had agreed cuz he had nothing against it.while they were taking a break, jooheon came by.

“ so is the ceo insisting on the scandal still?” shown asked as they sat to have a drink.

“ yeah, i don’t even know where this whole thing suddenly came from. they never forced scandals on the idols before. man you should’ve seen won. he was as angry as when he found out about me and min. and you know he rarely gets that angry.” jooheon answered while gesturing with his hands.

“ what did wonho get angry for?” hyungwon asked upon hearing his name.

“ the scandal? “ jooheon lifted an eyebrow at him.

“ what scandal? “ hyungwon felt dumbfounded.

“ really? you didn’t know about it? “ shownu asked surprised.  “ won’s company is forcing him to be involved with an actress in a fake scandal. “ 

“ WHAT?! why would they want that? “ hyungwon’s blood was boiling.

“ dunno, but he says he won’t do it and he’s actually this close to leaving the company. if he leaves, i’ll leave with him. the new ceo can be a piece of shit sometimes. he even had me editing the rookie’s songs for fucking free! “ jooheon paused “ but you really didn’t know? i thought you guys were close.” 

“ apparently not! “ hyungwon’s tone was bitter. shownu patted his shoulder.

“ he’s just having a rough week hyungwon. he’ll come around. he tends to lock himself away when he’s stressed. you should know him by now.” 

 

 

hyungwon couldn’t help getting slightly worried. the singer didn’t have a good reputation while staying at home alone so he decided to check on him. when he got there, he rang the bell but no-one answered. he rang it a couple more times but nothing happened. he got worried but didn’t want to just enter the passcode so he decided to call him first. as soon as he dialled the number, the elevator door opened and wonho came out of it, holding his phone in his hand, looking at the screen. his phone was ringing and he was about to answer when he saw the person who was calling him standing in front of his door. there was a middle-aged woman behind him as well but hyungwon thought she’s just from the other suit.

“ why didn’t you go inside? i haven’t changed the passcode.” wonho told him in a low voice and entered the pass, going inside immediately without looking behind once. hyungwon watched as the woman went inside after smiling at him. the house was dark, all the curtains were closed unlike the usual when you could see the whole city from the glass wall. no-one talked so the silence added to the darkness and it formed a very thick atmosphere.

wonho threw his car keys on the counter and went to the bedroom. taking his coat off and throwing it on a chair, he started undoing the buttons of his shirt. he was dressed in very formal clothes and that was a first for hyungwon to see the other like that. after changing into a t-shirt and sweatpants, he walked to the kitchen and turned the coffee machine on. tapping his fingers on the counter while waiting for the cups to fill. while he was at it the woman started talking all of a sudden.

“ all i’m asking is for you to visit at least once a month. i think i’m entitled to ask that much as your mother. “ wonho frowned but remained silent, looking at the machine.

“ i … think it’s best if i go. i’ll come back later.” hyungwon felt like he shouldn’t be there and so he stood up to leave.

“ sit back down. “ wonho said without lifting his head or any other movement. his voice was low and demanding. it was a little bit intimidating so hyungwon decided not to annoy the already angry wonho further and sat back down. wonho put a cup in front if him on the counter and then handed one to the lady sitting on the sofa. he then opened the curtains and stood there, looking at the view while sipping on his drink. hyungwon had never seen him do that before.

“ don’t you wanna talk? for how long are you gonna keep quiet and not respond when i ask you why you don’t visit? “ the lady looked nice. she sounded like she really cared and was hurt by the fact that his son wouldn’t visit him.

“ i don’t wanna talk about it.” wonho said calmly in a deep voice.

“ why not? “ the latter turned his head to look at his mother upon that question. his face showed real anger with how the veins were showing but he was holding it in. drinking the last sip, he made his way to the kitchen and placed the empty cup on the counter and leaned on it. they were a mere meter away from each other now.

“ i doubt you really wanna know. i mean sure, you’re this heartbroken mother who just wants his son to visit but nah! you just like to feel miserable. you don’t really care.” this kind of anger was the worst kind in hyungwon’s mind. the kind that you were so angry that you appeared to be calm. it was the scariest type and hyungwon had decided at that moment, that he never wants to be at the receiving end of that.

“ i’m your mother. of course, i care! “ 

“ oh you do? “ wonho chuckled. “ hm, thanks for telling me that. i’m so relieved. can you leave now? i’m really tired and wanna sleep. “

“ i didn’t raise you to be like this wonho. you are being very disrespectful. towards me and towards your father. “ this seemed to be the last straw for wonho as he raised his voice this time “ he is NOT my father.  “ he exhaled harshly “ i don’t have a father. i never had one. i thought i had a mother but that changed over time. i don’t have a family. i only have people who can decide to leave me at any second they want. don’t act all innocent. it disgusts me. “  the lady seemed so shocked at his son’s outburst. all hyungwon could do was to just sit there without moving an inch, pretending as if he wasn’t there.

“ what did i ever do to you to hate me that much? “ 

“ i don’t hate you! i just, i just don’t feel anything. your husband’s a good guy. but i don’t trust him. i don’t trust anyone so i can’t, i can’t visit you as often as you want. “ 

“ why don’t you trust him! he has done nothing wrong to you. he really cares for you. like a real father. he thinks of you the same as changkyun although all you do is ignoring us. “

 “ ignoring you is my last attempt at staying respectful and not saying all the things that are eating me up. i told you, it’s not just him that i don’t trust. it’s everyone. “ 

“ you call this being respectful? you know i could just dump you on your father like so many other people? but i didn’t. because i loved you.” hyungwon’s head got blown up at that. it was such a wrong thing to say. he turned his face to look at wonho immediately, to see his expression.

“ yeah… you’ve told me that many times already. thanks for kindly giving me a home to sleep at. “ 

“ your tongue can only throw venom. why don’t you ever talk like a decent human being? you just turn the people to ash. “ 

“ would you listen if i talked to you? or would you go into your defense mode because of all your ego? “ he paused and swallowed hard “ please leave mom. i’m too tired for having this conversation right now. “ his mother shook her head and made her way towards him, standing right in front of him and slapping him hard. the voice echoed in the whole place. hyungwon’s eyes were widened as he froze and wonho had just no emotions on his face. 

“ feeling better that you’ve finally hit me? you can’t hold the ‘ i’ve never hit you in your life’ card anymore. “ 

“ i’ve never hit you because i don’t wanna hurt you.” the lady screamed at him.

 “ you have hurt me so much, this little slap doesn’t even count!” he chuckled bitterly 

“ you hurt me when you didn’t do anything when you saw that bastard being touchy with your kid. you hurt me when you didn’t even bother to ask what the fuck he was actually doing while you walked in on us. you hurt me when you dated a man who had a wife and kids and your excuse was his wife wasn’t a good person! you hurt me when you didn’t ask how i was although you saw me breaking down. until this day, you haven’t asked how i am feeling, not once. your beloved husband asks more than you. he got me to that hospital. if it was up to you, i’d just die in my own misery while you would sit in a corner and cry silently as to why you have such a son without doing anything about it. all you ever did was pretending and lying. you lied and lied until you took the ability to trust completely away from me. and yes, you said you did me a favor by keeping me, but isn’t that what mothers do? if you asked me, i never wanted to be born. but you made me and then you put me through hell. so much that i had to learn something professionally, be good enough so that i could escape and go far away. you care. i don’t question that. but you care to create situations that you’d feel most self-pity at. like right now. go mom. my friend here has heard enough ugly things for one day. “ 

“ after everything i did for you to have a roof above your head, this is how i’m rewarded. “ and then she left. 

 

hyungwon didn’t know what to do. wonho had told him to order something while he took a shower. he wanted to bring it up but he knew wonho wouldn’t talk unless he wanted but still needed to be asked. ordering their favorite dishes, he wanted for the older to come out.


	42. Forty Two

After wonho’s shower, the both of them sat behind the counter to eat the food that hyungwon had ordered. the younger couldn’t help taking glances at the now black-haired man in front of him. his hair was still wet and now that he was actually paying attention, it matched with the pale skin really well. they didn’t say one word during dinner. wonho must have felt his gaze on him and as soon as he opened his mouth to ask the things he wanted to ask he was cut by wonho.

“ tomorrow. i’ll tell you whatever you wanna know tomorrow. right now i’m too tired and just wanna sleep. “ hyungwon nodded quietly. 

“ i’ll get going then. i just wanted to make sure you’re ok.” 

“ i’m not. can you stay?” wonho asked him with saddened eyes.

“ sure. let’g get you to bed. “ for some reason, wonho seemed vulnerable at the moment. taking the older’s hand in his, they moved to the bedroom and laid down. there was half a meter between them but they were facing each other, both looking at the other without saying anything. hyungwon found himself brushing the wet black bangs away from wonho’s face gently and massaging his scalp a little in the process. wonho closed his eyes at the action shortly before opening them again. 

“ black hair suits you so much. i don’t even miss the blond anymore. “ a small smile appeared on wonho’s face before his eyes closed and he fell asleep fast.

 

wonho woke up early in the morning after a usual nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep. staring at the sleeping figure next to him, he thought of the look on the boy’s face last night. he didn’t wanna make him worried by saying those things in front of him but he also didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable by telling him to leave. plus, he really wanted hyungwon, someone, anyone to be by his side. he kinda wished he could use the presence of another person to get rid of his mother sooner and it had worked. so he kinda felt bad for using hyungwon as his hidden weapon but the boy was kind enough to gift him with that. hyungwon always slept so beautifully. wonho couldn’t believe anyone could be that beautiful while asleep. ‘ but minhyuk was beautiful while asleep as well. ‘ the thought crossed his mind and he tried to get rid of it, shaking his head and covering his ears as if it would make the voices in his head stop.

he had to get out of bed when jongup called and told him he was on his way to his house. he got a quick shower and changed into clothes as soon as he got out, making his t-shirt wet with the drops that kept falling from his hair. he just didn’t feel like drying it so he let it be. looking at hyungwon’s peaceful face one last time, he got out of bedroom and closed the door behind him, not wanting to disturb the boy when his manager arrived.

 

“ why are your clothes so wet? you know how easy it is for you to get sick.” was the first thing jongup said coming inside the house.

“ it’s ok. with things going the way they are, i won’t be having a performance in a while so doesn’t matter. “ wonho shrugged.

“ wonho!” he warned him  “ sit down. we need to talk. “ sitting down across his manager, he started sipping on the coffee he had made for both of them.

 “ i talked with other managers of the company, and the producers. no-one is happy about this new CEO. he’s giving a hard time to everyone in the company so we decided to take the matters in hand and report this to the court. but it may influence everyone’s schedules for a while. so the managers have been sent to talk to their artists about it. you all could go on becoming a slave to this maniac or we could stand against him and throw him out of the company. what do you think? “ 

“ honestly! i think i could use a break. plus, i wouldn’t stay if he would remain as the ceo. so i’m in. i’ll do whatever you tell me to. “ jongup nodded.

“ but, why are you so upset? i mean, is anything else bothering you? “ 

“ me? nah! it’s all peachy! just that i had to work with my ex for a whole week, day and night and then my mom wouldn’t leave me alone and i have a boy in my bed right now that i don’t know how i’m supposed to stay away from. my life couldn’t get any easier you see! “ jongup lifted an eyebrow.

“ hyungwon stayed over again? “ wonho hummed.

“ well, i’m not a relationship expert but maybe you should just talk to him? i don’t know.” 

“ everyone keeps saying that” 

“ ok, so i’ll get going now. look out for the news articles very soon and don’t appear too much in the public for a few days. “ 

why?! i’ve done nothing wrong! “ wonho didn’t get why he had to hide when he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“ i know. but we’re gonna be careful. just in case.”  wonho frowned. there was something jongup wasn’t telling him and he wasn’t in the mood to ask about it so he just let it go for now. 

as soon as jongup left, the bedroom door opened and a sleepy hyungwon walked out.

“ everything okay? “ he asked rubbing his eyes

“ yeah. slept well? “ hyungwon hummed. 

“ wash up, i’ll make you coffee. “ 

 

 

 

 

hyungwon woke up due to the bell that rang throughout the house but he was too lazy to get out of bed. plus, it wasn’t his place so he didn’t really have to. he could hear the conversation pretty well and by the end of it, his heart fell and broke just a little bit. 

“ just that i had to work with my ex for a whole week, day and night and then my mom wouldn’t leave me alone and i have a boy in my bed right now that i don’t know how i’m supposed to stay away from. “

this kept repeating itself in hyungwon’s head. why did wonho want to stay away from him? was it still because of him having to be abroad all the time? or was it because of something else? did something happen during the last week between wonho and minhyuk? there were a hundred questions in his head but he didn’t know how to get the answers because he didn’t wanna put the other in an uncomfortable situation.

 

 

hyungwon taking a shower at wonho’s place was almost a natural thing by now but he still got amazed by the great design and he was absolutely in love with the fluffy towels the latter had. putting one of the bigger ones around his waist and one on his head he walked to the living room. wonho was watching tv. he noticed that he had never seen him watch tv on his own before. he was always on his computer working and stuff. he poured himself a mug full of coffee mixed with a little milk and went to sit next to the black haired guy on the sofa. he noticed that wonho had zoned out and wan’t really paying any attention to what was shown on the tv. 

“ hey. “ wonho flinched a bit probably not having noticed hyungwon’s presence.

“ hey.” he said with a kind smile. “ i wanted to order something but didn’t know what you want.” 

“ it’s ok. i don’t really eat breakfast unless you force me to.” hyungwon chuckled remembering all the times wonho had basically threatened him to eat while they stayed here with taehyung. wonho chuckled as well and then groaned, rubbing his face by his palms.

 

 “ man i’ve been so busy i forgot to call taehyung. how is he? i gotta call him later.” 

“ he … actually left the exact same day you came with jimin. he didn’t tell us where he’d go.” wonho’s eyes widened 

“ WHAT?! and you let him go just like THAT ?what if he gets injured or i don’t know, what if he becomes unstable again? “ hyungwon laughed shortly

“ it’s ok wonho! we gave our numbers to jimin so he’d give us a call if anything happened. but i think he’s good. you should’ve seen his face when he saw jimin. he was a completely different person.” 

“ i… couldn’t really stay much longer. sorry for just appearing and disappearing all the time.” 

“ it’s ok.” and then they fell into an awkward silence.

“ so, what’s this scandal about? i mean, why would they want you to have it in the first place? and with a girl?! everyone knows your sexual preferences.” 

wonho huffed. “ t’s not they, it’s a he. a single bastard who had made every single member of the company go insane. in my case, it’s because he’s a homophobe AND an attention seeker so he wants to do both in one shot. i’m not gonna do it though. i’m not a lier.” hyungwon looked at him thoroughly. this person had always surprised him with his behaviour. he was willing to risk it all just because he didn’t wanna lie. even if it was a temporary lie. he wanted to ask about yesterday. about his mother. about what he had said. and about minhyuk but he just didn’t know if it was okay to ask. he didn’t wanna be a burden by asking all those questions from wonho. as if the latter had read his mind, he gave him a lifted eyebrow.

“ you’re gonna burn holes in my face if you keep staring like that.” he grinned “ come on, ask. i know you want to. i said i would answer everything today so shoot.”

“ i don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.” 

“ i won’t answer if i’m uncomfortable.” 

 


	43. Forty Three

“ go on. ask what you want while i’m still in the mood of opening up.” 

hyungwon looked at wonho but he didn’t know what he wanted to ask first. there were a thousand questions in his mind but before he knew this flew out of his mouth

“ are you ok? “ wonho lifted his eyebrows and scratched his chin

“ isn’t that a little too broad? gotta be more specific.” 

“  considering it all, how are you feeling? “

“ are you kidding me? “ wonho chuckled “ i feel like shit.” he took a sip of the coffee and sank into the sofa, leaning his head back.

“ your mother, you said you can’t trust people because of her. what was the cause? what makes you feel that way about her? “  wonho didn’t look at him and kept on staring at the ceiling. he exhaled harshly before answering.

“ my father, the biological one, he left when i was 9. there was only my mom and i and we kinda had to live with my grandparents. we couldn’t afford anything on our own. but they weren’t the most easy people to live with. as a kid, i was in denial most of the time. that nothing was wrong. that my life was just like everyone else’s. my grandfather, he… he had a very harsh personality. i was 9 and i didn’t know anything but they all expected me to act according to the rules. i never had the possibility to be a kid. i had to grow up fast to just know the rules, figure them out so that i wouldn’t make anyone upset. so that they wouldn’t tell me that i was a scum just like my father. i really hate that man for telling me these things. it may sound like i’m spoiled because of holding the grudge but i was a kid. i didn’t deserve being compared to the man who had left me. “ wonho paused and took a deep shaky breath before continuing.

“ one time after a big fight, i cried for the whole evening, i had no personal space, no room of my own, so i just sat at the corner, and cried while no-one cared enough to ask if i was ok. and then my aunt and mom came back from work at night, my aunt gave me a death glare when i told my mom to please get a house and move out. she said they didn’t have to keep me there. that it wasn’t their responsibility. that night was when my mom lied to me for the first time and i still remember the hurt. she said, she said not to worry, that she’s gonna get a house as soon as possible and we would be free from this torturous home. two days after that, i asked her when we’ll be leaving and she laughed at me and said , are you stupid? i can’t afford a house. i felt so disappointed and then it continued. them crashing me without asking why i was shy as fuck and overtime, she would promise me a better day. and she would always, always break her promise. she would build my hopes up to crash them to a million pieces. and because i loved her so much, i believed her each time. and then came along the man who had a family but my mom started going out with him. he would pay for a few things and he got us a house so we were able to finally live separately. and again she lied to her own family about having a good job that pays enough so that she could have these things. i hated that. i hated that i knew the truth but had to cover for her when they called and asked where she was. she made me lie. and then after a while, they broke up. i don’t know the reason cuz i wasn’t home much. i started working at 12. i would just do anything to earn a little bit of money for myself and i would join every club at school to learn stuff. that’s how i got into programming and the piano. and then mr.shin came along. he’s a good man. he really is. they got married and they changed my last name to his. and then they got changkyun. “ wonho smiled at the mention of his brother’s name.

“ but why do you not like visiting them? you said he’s a good man. why don’t you call him father? “ wonho hummed

“ that’s a bit hard to answer. i don’t really know how to put it into words.” he paused and chewed on his cheek

“ my life hasn’t been easy really. i’ve been abused on so many occasions and because no-one ever told me the boundaries that i had to put on people, the way the treated me, i had to learn it the hard way. and by learning them on my own i started to hate the people i knew as family for not warning me beforehand. i don’t like visiting cuz as i said last night, i hate the fact that she never asked how i am. and when i look at her, all i see is the things she put me through and i don’t wanna hate her. she’s my mom and i can’t hate her so i keep my distance. and in his case, i can never call anyone father. because the person who was supposed to be there left and although he was an asshole, no-one can replace his role. i’m happy he left but i don’t really wanna have a replacement.” 

hyungwon didn’t know how far he could dig but he wanted to know and he wanted to make wonho pour it all out as he was somehow sure he had never talked about these before. he just wanted to make him put it out.

“ you… were abused? like, sexually? or-?” he asked carefully

“ i wasn’t raped if that’s what you’re wondering.” wonho cut him off. he got off the sofa and grabbed his mug, heading to the kitchen.

 “ i actually told you more than you asked for. so i guess that’s enough therapy for today. hm?” 

“ i’m happy you decided to share. i’ll always be happy if you shared more. letting it out is a good way of letting it go.” 

“ i think i told you i hated the doctoral conversations hyungwon.” wonho’s gaze was intimidating, so much that it made hyungwon look away and scratch the back of his neck.

“ you don’t have to go to the hospital today? “ wonho asked walking back to the sofa

“ no, i have a day off.”  wonho hummed and sat right next to him, leaving no space between them.

“ do you want me to leave? it’s ok if you-“ 

“ shut up hyungwon, let’s watch a movie, shall we? “ hyungwon’s eyes widened at his words and nodded hesitantly. wonho put his hand on his thigh and squeezed it once before letting go and grabbing the remote.

“ what do you wanna watch? and nothing scary please!” that made hyungwon laugh and the somehow tense atmosphere changed into a friendly one again.

“ hmmm, what about hangover? i’ll never get tired of that movie.” 

“ 1,2 or 3? “ 

“ how about we binge watch all of it?” 

“ cool. “ wonho smiled showing his teeth and played the first movie. hangover 1.

they laughed together and hyungwon would yell at the screen sometimes to make the actors somehow obey what he was saying. it was hilarious and wonho dared to say he laughed more at hyungwon than at the comedy they were watching. the boy was so active when he was watching a movie.

about half way through the second movie, hyungwon laid his head on wonho’s shoulder and later on it landed on his chest as he began to sink in the sofa further to be more comfortable. he could put his hand on the backrest but he liked it when he was in contact with hyungwon so he put his right hand on hyungwon’s waist as he was half way lying on his chest over his lap. it seemed too nostalgic, minhyuk did something similar but he would have his head on his lap not his chest. wonho found himself drowning in their memories. these two even had the same habit of yelling at the screen, only hyungwon was way more gentler. minhyuk would practically throw things at tv if he didn’t like the plot. he found himself comparing the two unwillingly. minhyuk was as sassy and as dominant as he was. sometimes he had wondered how he was a bottom but then he figured that he was a switch so everything clicked in his mind. hyungwon on the other hand, was a pure and innocent soul who had sacrificed his dreams for his sister and was now here to take care of him although they haven’t known each other for long. something rushed through his head and he almost hated himself at the moment. he had never talked about lili with him. he was just like his mother. he pretended to care while he had never actually bothered to ask the boy who was taking care of him so whole-heartedly about losing his sister. that made him jump up, making hyungwon shocked and sit up when he grabbed his wrist a little too tightly.

“ hyungwon! “ 

“ what? what’s wrong? “ the boy’s eyes showed pure concern as he was looking at the older. wonho frowned, too disgusted with himself at the moment and not knowing how to look at the other person’s eyes without feeling ashamed. they were right when they said you’ll end up being like your parents no matter how much you hate them. he was always away like his father and he was as ignorant as his mother. so he did the one thing he could think of. he pulled hyungwon in his arms as fast and as tight as he could. wrapping one arm around the younger boy’s mid-waist and putting the other on his hair, he started caressing his hair gently.

“ i’m sorry.” he whispered.

“ why? what happened? “ 

“ i… i just realised that, i never asked YOU how you feel and whether you’re okay.” 

hyungwon’s tense body relaxed at the realisation and he wrapped his arms around wonho’s waist.

“ i’m fine. it’s hard and i miss her so much but i lived with her my whole life. i have to believe she’s doing better now, doing what she wants. so i ,,, i have to be fine to be able to continue.” wonho continued stroking his hair as hyungwon let more of his weight rest on the older’s body.

“ i’m sorry i didn’t ask before. i’m just a self centred piece of shit. i’m really sorry.” 

“ it’s ok. you have enough on your shoulders.” hyungwon replied as he started rubbing a hand on wonho’s back.

“ no, that’s just an excuse and not even a good one. you’re here for me whenever i need you and yet i failed to be there for you when you needed me. i’m really really sorry.” 

“ stop apologising already. i said it’s ok and i don’t like lying either. so you have to believe me.” with that hyungwon placed a soft kiss on wonho’s neck. his body reacted as if it had missed the touch and acted before his brain could tell him to stop. he made hyungwon pull back a little just enough for them to be able to look at each other and then he leaned in and let their lips touch. hyungwon didn’t hesitate and started kissing back. they kissed while sitting in front of each other for a while with wonho’s hand at the back of the other’s head, fingers tangled in his soft pink hair and massaging his scalp. hyungwon grabbed his t-shirt and pulled him forward while he himself lied back on the sofa, making wonho get on top of him. once again wonho’s body acted on it’s own as he rubbed the younger’s thigh up and down before he grabbed it and put it around his hip. hyungwon followed the movement and wrapped his other leg around the older as well, crossing them behind his hack while melting in to the kiss that was getting deeper and more heated by second. wonho let his hand get under the beautiful man’s shirt, roaming on his golden skin as he began sucking on his neck harshly but in a way that made hyungwon feel so much pleasure. it made him moan and wonho reacted to the sound, getting a little rougher as his hands removed the shirt from the boy under him, looking at him so beautifully with those big eyes and those full lips that were slightly parted due to the panting.

his brain told him to stop but his body didn’t seem to follow as he leaned down, and started sucking and biting on the skin, down to his torso. the pink haired boy sounded so beautiful that he wanted to hear more. he was greedy like that. still fully dressed, he opened the zipper of the younger’s jeans and took it off along with his briefs. leaning down again and placing kisses and biting on the inner thighs, he felt how hyungwon’s hand grabbed his hair tightly while moaning a little bit louder. he knew he wanted to make him feel as good as possible. maybe as a means to thank him for all he did. or maybe just because he loved being close to him.


	44. Forty Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Hello Anniyeong~
> 
> babes please vote for Monsta X on Mwave for the category of " the comeback you're excited for." 
> 
> vote everyday and PLEAAAASE stream when the Musiv Video is out on Youtube and stream the album on Spotify. 
> 
> Also, what do you think about JingleBall? I'm so excited for them!!!!!!!!! can you believe this? OMG *_*
> 
> \+ our boys are recording Idol Room today. Is hyungwon gonna make history again? ( remember kpop genre? lol ) 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> luv y'all

“ hyungwon, pinkwonnieee, wake up. it’s almost noon” hyungwon felt warm lips touching the skin of his forehead. he whined in return, pulling the blanket over his head.

“ you’re gonna be like that? you know i can easily pick you up, right?” wonho sneaked his hands under the blanket and tickled the sensitive spot of hyungwon’s ribs that always made his body jerk immediately.

he sat up with pouty lips, while still being wrapped by the blanket and rubbed his eye.

“ why don’t you ever let me sleep in peace?” he nagged. wonho laughed in disbelief.

“ you slept for like 10 hours. you’re basically a koala in human form.” he grabbed the blanket and yanked it away before making hyungwon stand up in one move.

“ see? standing on your feet after not using them for so long is good.”

“ ey. i have a good reason for not wanting to be standing on my feet you know. and you’re the cause of it. you should be responsible for your actions.” hyungwon fake frowned while crossing his hands on his chest.

“ you’re cute.” wonho pinched his cheek. “ i know. that’s why i made you a bath with lots of bubbles and stuff. wash up and i’ll order something.” wonho pushed him towards the bathroom by spanking him lightly.

“ you know, one of these days, you’re gonna have to go to the hospital. i can’t understand how himchan is letting you have all these days off.” he said while hyungwon was turning on the shower. the younger tensed for a second, thinking of an answer to give but to his relief wonho didn’t wait for a reply. he left the room after saying that.

 

 

after that day of getting a little information out of wonho, hyungwon had stayed at his place. it’s been around 5 days already and they’ve had a sweet and relaxing time with each other.

hyungwon had tried to get him to talk and open up, but to no avail. wonho turned the subject around each time and it usually ended up with them having sex. hyungwon wasn’t complaining about the bodily contact cuz he wanted to be close to the older and feel him but a voice at the back of his head didn’t let him be. he knew wonho had some feelings for him, he was sure of it but every time minhyuk or jooheon’s name was mentioned, his mood would drop almost immediately. during his stay, the usual group of wonho’s friends had come twice but jooheon hadn’t come. he hadn’t called either. weren’t they supposed to be best friends?

to top it all, he didn’t know what he wanted to do anymore. he didn’t feel like going to the hospital and he didn’t have the energy to go to the dance school or maybe he just wanted to be with wonho while he still had the chance and time before the guy would go away for god knows how long. but he still had a life of his own to lead so why didn’t he seem to be able to think about what he wanted to do? even shownu had scolded him for being absent at the school for near a week.

overall, he just wasn’t in a good mood today cuz his head was full of different thoughts and pictures of his sister at the back of his eyes wouldn’t leave him. he washed his body furiously and let himself sink in the bathtub, getting a little bit relaxed by all the bubbles and the pink water that wonho had made for him.

he was still at the bathtub when wonho knocked on the glass door and called him.

“ hyungwon, i have to go out a bit. make sure to order something to eat, ok?”

“ where are you going?” he found himself asking as soon as he turned around to see wonho.

“ i have a few things to take care of.” he smiled and left. hyungwon sighed. it’s not like the other had to tell him his every move or something but why waking him up if he wanted to leave? he would just be numb and in dreamland while the latter was outside. he groaned and went under water, holding his breath for as long as he could. this would always make his mind clear a bit.

 

getting dressed and going through the messages on his phone, he decided he was absolutely not in the mood of replying to anyone. so he just locked it again and put it on the counter, grabbing the menu of the restaurant they always ordered from. he sat there and looked at the menu for what felt like an eternity before throwing it away and deciding he didn’t have the appetite after all. ‘ what’s wrong with me today? ‘ he remembered having a dream last night. a dream about his childhood. when he, lili and their parents had gone camping. he was scared to death from the noises at night but lili had hugged him throughout the whole darkness, whispering relaxing things and rubbing his back. that was the first time he genuinely felt thankful to have an older sister who he could rely on. lili had always taken care of him before she started getting worse and then he knew he had to return all the love he had received throughout the years.

he was deep in his memories and tears had gathered in his eyes without him noticing. if wonho was here and saw him like this, he would hug him tightly, caressing his hair, reminding him that it was lili’s decision to make and forcing him to talk about her. that’s what has been going on the last 5 days. him telling about his memories with his lost sister to wonho and wonho refusing to talk about the things that haunted him, making him have nightmares every single night.

he was ripped out of his thoughts by the sound of the doorbell. looking through the peep, he saw a figure he wasn’t expecting to see there at all.

“ hey! so you two decided to be together after all.” minhyuk said while being a little taken aback by seeing him there.

“ we’re not together. but do come in.” hyungwon felt annoyed at the fact that he himself didn’t know what they were supposed to be.

“ where’s the bunny?” min said while looking around.

“ he’s not here. you should’ve called him beforehand.” the latter hummed and went by the glass wall, looking at the view and calling someone on his phone.

“ he’s not picking up. do you have any idea when he’ll be back?” hyungwon shook his head while leaning on the kitchen counter. minhyuk frowned.

“ what’s wrong with you? you seem to be upset.”

hyungwon sighed. “ just…. my head is busy thinking about this and that.”

the older sat down on the sofa and tapped the place next to him, telling him to sit down beside him. hyungwon did as asked.

“ are you okay?” minhyuk asked with a friendly tone.

“ yeah. “

“ you don’t seem okay though. did our stupid celebrity friend upset you? it’s kind of one of his specialties.” hyungwon looked at him. his eyes, nose, lips. minhyuk was beautiful. he had such delicate features and this was the first time hyungwon had looked at him while actually paying attention. a word rang in his ear. ‘our’ . ‘ our stupid celebrity friend’ . minhyuk seemed to feel better about wonho these days. it’s not like they had met a lot, maybe two or three times tops but he could tell that the latter didn’t seem to want to kill wonho anymore. they wouldn’t talk more than two three sentences but they seemed to be okay. well, minhyuk seemed to be okay while hyungwon was sure wonho just acted like it.

“ hello? earth to hyungwon! do you want aglass of water or something? you look really pale.”

“ a glass of water doesn’t help with low blood pressure minhyuk.” he found himself saying with a chuckle.

“ gosh! no need to slap me with your doctoral degree.” he laughed.

“ you two are just so alike.” hyungwon said while chewing on his cheek.

“ hm?” the latter looked dumbfounded.

“ you, and wonho. you’re just so alike. and you both don’t like the doctoral side of me.” he chuckled again bitterly and sat back, leaning his head on the backrest.

“ well,,, i guess we have some similarities. by the way, i was just kidding about the doctor thing. but really do you want me to get you anything?”

“ i’m fine. thanks though.” they fell into silence for a few seconds. hyungwon felt a hand on his shoulder.

“ hyungwon, i know i’m probably not someone you wanna talk to but i’m a good listener. and i can keep secrets. if i want to that is. otherwise, the whole town would know the info in two hours or something.”

“ yah! you’re doing it wrong. you won’t convince me like that!” the pink haired boy found himself laughing at the older boy. minhyuk raised his eyebrows and pouted his lips while talking

“ i mean! you can talk to me! i won’t tell anyone! why you gotta be so mean?” he dramatically held his hand on his heart showing he was hurt. it didn’t fail to make hyungwon laugh again and he sat up.

“ i don’t know minhyuk. there’s just so much in my mind. it’s like i’m lost and i can’t seem to find any direction you know. i don’t see a path. i don’t know what i’m supposed to do or feel or_” he sighed and the hand on his shoulder squeezed him a bit.

“ have you talked to won about all this? i mean, he should know about your struggles better than others, or am i wrong?”

“ no, i mean only about my sister but other things, no, he has enough of his own shit to deal with. i don’t wanna be a burden.”

“ god hyungwon! you’re not a burden. you guys are together and you should share your problems, okay? wonho is somehow bad at assuming things and unless you tell him, he won’t know you’re struggling. you should always put your thoughts into words for him or he won’t notice.”

“ i told you, we’re not together.” the latter sighed.

“ sure, you basically live here and you have all those hickeys, but sure you’re not together.”

“ we do have sex but that doesn’t imply anything.” he exhaled roughly “ god can we not talk about this? my head is gonna explode.” he rubbed his palms on his face and then brushed his hair back furiously. “ why are you here though? i doubt he’ll be back anytime soon.”

“ well, the idiot won’t pick honey’s calls up and won’t reply to his texts. the poor piglet is frustrated. i decided to come and put some senses back into his stupid brain.”

“ you guys sure use A LOT of nicknames for each other.”

“ what? won hasn’t given you one? that’s unusual! and yeah! nicknames are nice.” minhyuk seemed really surprised.

“ he has. he gave me one when i dyed my hair pink back when he was at the hospital.”at the mention of the hospital, hyungwon noticed how minhyuk’s facial expression tensed and he bit his lip and frowned, removing the hand on his shoulder.

“ did he …. did he suffer a lot? i mean at the hospital… “ he was playing with his fingers while hesitantly talking the words.

“ it wasn’t easy. he went through a lot of pain for about three weeks, cutting his drug usage and all.”

“ i still can’t believe he started doing drugs, that idiot.” the older huffed.

“ minhyuk, it wasn’t your fault. you just did what was best for the two of you. and most importantly, you had to do it to be able to be happy.” there was something confusing about the way the older laughed bitterly, hyungwon could not pinpoint the meaning behind it. but he didn’t like it nevertheless.

“ and you? are you doing the things that makes you happy?” he was a bit taken aback by the man’s question. it suddenly rushed through his mind. ‘ being happy ‘ . what was he supposed to do to be happy? he opened his mouth but closed it again cuz he didn’t have an answer. so much for that doctoral degree he spent so much of his energy and brain cells for.

minhyuk got a call from the company a little while after and had to leave. so then, there hyungwon was again. alone, while thinking about minhyuk’s question over and over.


	45. Forty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10M+ views guys! thank you Monbebe! keep streaming and don't forget to vote babes. saranghae~

wonho had woken hyungwon up after watching him sleeping for about ten minutes, admiring the delicate and ethereal face of the pink-haired boy in his bed. he had made him a bubble bath cuz he had somehow gone rough on the boy last night and he kind of felt guilty although hyungwon had seemed to enjoy it. a lot.

he wanted to order some food cuz even asleep, hyungwon looked a little pale.the younger hadn’t eaten much the past few days and he seemed to eat less and less by each day passing. wonho was worried, really worried.

of course, hyungwon was a psychiatrist but the poor boy had lost the only person close to him and his goal in life along with her so all the psychology theories and lessons didn’t seem to work on the doctor himself. to wonho, he seemed like a vulnerable innocent lost human being. one he wanted to embrace tightly and protect from the world. and that’s what made him confused the most. he knew he liked hyungwon from the start. from when he gave the nickname ‘pinkwon’ to him. but he thought it was just the kind of like he felt for a friend. and in time, the wish to feel those plump lips had been created in his mind. he had wanted to know how it would feel to have those beautiful lips pressed against his own. to feel the heat and have a taste of the other man. he knew it was crazy and that he shouldn’t do it cuz he wouldn’t want to put anyone in minhyuk’s position ever again but he couldn’t resist it. the fact that he knew hyungwon liked him, not in a bro way, didn’t help him either. the doctor’s eyes would show everything. it was like he was wearing his heart on his sleeve, screaming what he was feeling by showing the beautiful pink hue on his cheeks everytime wonho got a little bit too close to him. and at first, it was fun doing it. getting close and teasing him, throwing a few flirty words at him to see the cute reaction of the doctor. he genuinely enjoyed the night conversation they had back at the hospital. he thought once he was out, hyungwon could move on. as the time passed though, he knew he couldn’t shut the boy out of his life. that he needed to talk to him even for 30 seconds every two or three days. and he was now blaming himself for being once again a greedy asshole.

he couldn’t help but feel guilty. guilty for making the young man in his bed fall for him. sure he hadn’t actually “ made “ him but he could not flirt or keep his distance or be the asshole everyone at the company called him. that would have been much easier for both of them in the end. especially for hyungwon. if it wasn’t for the sensitive situation at the company at the moment, he wouldn’t be able to spend all this time with hyungwon cuz he would be at his studio making music for his next album although it wouldn’t be in the next three four months. he was also feeling guilty for not being able to help him. not being able to give lili back to him somehow. of course it wasn’t something anyone could do but he couldn’t help but feel useless at this situation. hyungwon was devastated and there was nothing he could do except for hugging him and telling him it’s all gonna be okay in the end, although he doubted it himself pretty much so.

he wanted to confess to hyungwon. to tell him how much he liked him. everything about him. from the way his cheeks would be a little puffy at the morning to the way he rubbed his eye by the side of his index finger unlike anyone else who would do the action by bending the finger. the way he talked, smooth and a bit slower than what he was used to. the sound of his laugh, so unlike his talking voice, being higher on note. the way he would laugh at every silly joke he would say even if no-one else found it funny. he wanted to tell him how he loved his body so much although the other was sometimes self-conscious about it. to him it seemed ridiculous cuz he was absolutely gorgeous. he wanted to say he wanted him to be his boyfriend but then, what about the times he had to go away? with his fame rising day by day, he would have to go on more tours, meaning less time being at home, therefore less time to spend with the doctor. he didn’t wanna do that to him. he didn’t wanna ruin him like he ruined minhyuk. and he was also afraid of losing hyungwon in the end just like he had lost minhyuk.

minhyuk, yes, sure he had said he had forgiven him and that the accident wasn’t his fault and everything, but they could never be the way they were before. they were best friends for two whole years before wonho started to grow this stupid crush on the latter. if he hadn’t, or if he had waited more so that jooheon would be the first one to confess to min, none of this would’ve happened. they’d all still be together and he didn’t have to carry this shattered heart in his chest all the time. he was hurt. he was genuinely hurt. it would be okay if minhyuk had broken up with him and then slept with jooheon at the exact same day but the way it turned out was not okay. it had never been okay but he had never said what he thought about it cuz what was the point? what’s done is done and there was nothing he could do about it. he had lost his boyfriend and his best friend at the same time. he was hurt cuz like he said to his mother he didn’t have anyone really. he was only surrounded by people who could leave him any time they wanted. he couldn’t trust anyone to stay forever. maybe that’s why he had always tip-toed around minhyuk. trying to stay away most of the time so he wouldn’t grow more attached to him than he already was. his own father had left him, he didn’t expect anything from anyone. he couldn’t make people stay if they didn’t want to and that was that. among the both of jooheon and minhyuk, he didn’t know which one of them had hurt him more.

jooheon was his best friend who had fallen for his boyfriend but he was okay with this part cuz love wasn’t something you could control but when he had decided to betray their friendship and trust and act on it, it had torn wonho to million pieces. yes he had told him this the one time they had this big fight after the break up with minhyuk but he never said it again. simply cuz he still loved jooheon too much to let this ruin everything they had between them.

minhyuk was his boyfriend who had decided to sleep with his best friend cuz he wasn’t there when he needed him while still being in a relationship with him. sure, just like minhyuk had said, he didn’t have the right to be upset about it but it was cheating nevertheless. their friends kept telling them it was the fault of the alcohol but wonho knew better. you would never do anything under the influence of alcohol unless you had had the thought beforehand. that’s why he couldn’t contact the new couple these days or answer jooheon’s calls or texts. every time he thought of the two in a relationship, although he was glad they both had the person who could make them happy now, he would feel hurt by their betrayal of his trust. he had trusted jooheon in keeping minhyuk’s company when he had called him to go to their house when he left for his tour back then. it killed him to know minhyuk had grown feelings or attractions towards jooheon while he was away on tour, missing the hell out of them both. wishing to have minhyuk in his arms and talking music with joo at the studio. it all killed him little by little every day but he didn’t wanna say it out loud. he didn’t wanna fight. he hated fighting. he wanted to keep what they had, even if it was somehow already ruined a bit.

that’s the kind of person he really was. he would rather keep it all in while keeping his distance in order not to cause any pain or frustration for the other person. that’s why he didn’t visit his family, that’s why he didn’t go to their friends’ party that week and that’s why he didn’t answer jooheon.

 

looking at hyungwon’s peaceful features he decided he had stared at the younger man enough already so he shook him calling his name in an attempt to wake him up. he couldn’t help but brush his hair out of his face and place a gentle kiss on the latter’s forehead. he had such a beautiful forehead but it was almost always hidden under the beautiful pink hair. he wanted to die from hyungwon’s cuteness when he whined about how he couldn’t stand on his feet and how it was his fault.

he sent the taller boy to the shower and he was about to call the restaurant when his phone started ringing. it was jongup and he knew he had to answer.

“ hey. “ he simply said, knowing it could not be a good sign if he had called him in the morning all of a sudden.

“ hey, wonho, you should come to the company soon. come quick.” and then he hung up.

exhaling roughly and seriously thinking of letting everything go and pick hyungwon up and escape to a faraway isolated island with him and live there peacefully for the rest of their lives ( with enough pink dyeing hair color for hyungwon to be able to re-dye his hair cuz wonho loved it this way), he walked to the shower and watched how hyungwon sat in the bathtub quietly with his head resting on the tub, a little to the side and hands in the water probably resting on his lap. they had sex a few times but hyungwon always seemed shy when it came to showering so they haven’t showered together yet. shaking his head he called hyungwon and told him he had to go.

 

 

when he arrived at the company every manager and artist was there, gathering at the big conference hall. the company had grown quite big thanks to wonho and this other girl group who had become really popular. and there he was, the new fucker of a CEO in all his non-existent glory. wonho just looked at him briefly before walking up to jongup and ignoring jooheon’s eyes on him, pretending he hadn’t noticed him there. it was childish but he didn’t have the brain cells to deal with his best friend now.

“ what’s this about? why is everyone here?” he whispered, standing next to jongup.

“ apparently he had figured out about the lawsuit we were going to form against him and he had asked everyone to come here. he said he wanted to make a fresh start or something.” wonho wanted to ask some more but the ceo started talking in the mic and everyone else went quiet so he just didn’t.

“ now that everyone’s here let’s start. i’m sorry for causing so much trouble the past month. i had a few ideas of improving the popularity of the company and artists but as it seems i was wrong about the theme of this company. as you all know i worked at GX company before becoming the ceo here and this was the way we did things there so i thought i’d keep doing the same here as it had worked there quite well. but if everyone is against it, i can’t do anything but to let you have your own way. there will still be changes but i won’t force the artists to be involved in scandals or to wear things they don’t feel comfortable with. as for the producers and other staff, we will have meetings separately to come to an agreement together so that we can all work in a peaceful environment and grow our company. i have always loved this company so i don’t want it to be involved with any kind of lawsuit and most definitely i don’t wanna be the cause of it. so let’s just have a fresh start from this moment and forget about the things that happened. anyone has any objections?” the ceo looked around the hall but no-one said anything. everyone seemed in thought. “ alright then. i think we’re done for now. i will ask the staff to meetings later on and i will have meetings with the artists and their managers separately. for now you are all dismissed except for wonho and jongup. please come to my office after this.”

everyone were looking at each other by the sudden turn of events. they all had thought they had to go through a tiring court case and all but now it seemed that the crazy ceo had come to his senses.

entering the eco’s office, they sat on the sofa next to each other while the ceo sat on the one across from them.

“ so wonho, uhh, i’m kind of sorry for forcing a scandal on you. as i said, it’s how we did things at the GX.”

“ but why would you do that really? and how did the artists accept such a thing?!” the ceo shrugged

“ publicity. and the artists were mostly willing to do it cuz it meant more articles and more popularity so..”he paused “ anyways, as you have ended yet another successful world tour, and you’ve been resting for a while, i had fixed you a schedule for the next half of the year. you will be appearing on tv shows and will perform on the award shows by the end of the year. also you should start working on a new mini-album. i had sent your resume out to a few directors, i’m waiting for their reply. i want to cast you in a drama. but we will talk about whether you wanna do it or not once i hear back from the directors i have sent your profile to.”

“d-drama?! but… but i’m not good at acting!” wonho stuttered a bit feeling perplexed.

“ you are good enough and if they decide to cast you, we’ll put you in acting classes.”

“ why wasn’t i told about this though? am i not his manager?” jongup said sarcastically.

“ of course you are. i just wanted to leave a good impression after everything. i don’t want us to have a bad relationship with each other. i want the company to be friendly just like it’s always been.” jongup smiled and nodded.

“ ok then, i have sent you two an email of the set schedules. you’ll start the day after tomorrow. you can go now if you don’t have any questions.”

 

looking at the schedule and getting dizzy at how busy and crazy it looked, a thought crossed his mind. two days. he had two days to spend with hyungwon before getting busy and being away again. and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. on one hand he loved busy schedules cuz it meant he wasn’t wasting his time like he was doing the past week by doing absolutely nothing productive but on the other hand it meant he had to leave hyungwon and only see him when he washable to which he wasn’t sure it would be much. right now, he just wanted to go home and cuddle with hyungwon to death.


	46. Forty Six

wonho came back shortly after minhyuk had left. if the latter had stayed merely 20 more minutes, he would catch the person he had come for. as soon as he step foot in the apartment, he stopped and looked around.

“ what? “ hyungwon asked from the spot he was sitting at, watching tv. wonho had a question mark on his face.

“ was… was minhyuk here?” he asked hesitantly

“ yeah. how did you know?!” 

“ well, i can smell his cologne. what did he want?” he said walking to the bedroom and taking his jacket off. hyungwon was amazed by the man’s smelling sense. it also meant how well he knew minhyuk to even know the cologne he uses by heart. getting lost in his thoughts again, he forgot to answer the older boy as he disappeared from his sight. after a few minutes, he came back in comfortable clothes. looking at the sink and back at hyungwon he frowned.

“ you haven’t eaten anything yet, have you?” 

“ i… wasn’t feeling hungry.” 

“ if you wait to feel hungry to eat you’re gonna end up dead without noticing it yourself hyungwon. i told you to order something. how long has it been since i left?!”  he scolded him.

“ why are you yelling at me?” he pouted unintentionally.

“ i’m sorry, it’s just, you need to eat. have you seen how skinny you’ve become?” 

“ i’m always skinny.” 

“ true but not this much. you won’t eat unless i shove the food down your throat. it’s not healthy and you’re supposed to be the doctor here.”  hyungwon rolled his eyes and sat back, crossing his arms and looking out the glass window. wonho called the restaurant and ordered a shit load of food and came to sit down next to him after, facing the latter.

“ hyungwon.” 

“ hm?”

“ i bumped into yongguk today. he was really worried about you. said you wouldn’t answer his calls.” it was true. he had bumped into the older on his way back home. as hyungwon didn’t seem to pay attention and continued looking out the window, wonho grabbed his chin and turned his face towards himself so that they were facing each other.

“ i know it’s hard and you think you could prevent things from happening if he had told you but it’s not like he had much of a choice himself either. lili had trusted him with the information and you know him, he could never betray her trust.” hyungwon’s eyes had tears in them, threatening to fall but he held them back. he had cried enough times already and right now he just didn’t feel like crying. upon noticing that, wonho leaned in and pressed a soft kiss on his plump lips, pausing like that for a couple of seconds before pulling back. he looked at the pink haired boy thoroughly before pulling him into a hug, pressing the younger’s head on his chest and stroking his hair.

“ just give him a call when you feel like it. he really really missed you. i could see it in his eyes.” he whispered and kissed hyungwon’s forehead.

“ speaking of not answering the calls and stuff, why are you ignoring jooheon? minhyuk said you’re not even replying his texts.”  hyungwon pulled back from the hug to be able to look at wonho’s face. the older tensed a bit and tried to stand up but hyungwon was fast enough. he grabbed his wrist and made him sit back down.

“ you’re not escaping from this again wonho. this is getting out of hand. you guys are supposed to be best friends. didn’t you say they both deserve this?” 

“ i still think the same.” wonho said while looking down.

“ so? why are you avoiding him?” hyungwon noticed how the man swallowed hard and clenched his teeth.

“ It’s just that it kind of hurts when i look at them. it reminds me of what they did. i was super happy when jooheon came back but now it’s all haunting me again and i just…” he sighed “ i just need some time away from them. i’ll call him when i’m feeling better.” hyungwon kept looking at him intently. eyes jumping between his facial features.

“ well then we’re both on the same page here. both of us need some space from people we used to be close with.” hyungwon said and came back in his embrace, resting his head on his chest again. they sat like that quietly for a couple of minutes while wonho continued stroking the pink hair he loved so much. in his head he was saving the feeling and the view he had in front of his eyes. he wanted to carve it all on a stone and keep it close to him while he had to be working and away from the beauty in his arms.

“ hyungwon “ 

“ hyung” the younger replied playfully, his finger running up and down on wonho’s abdomen as he began placing feather like kisses on the skin of his neck. wonho grabbed his hand to stop him and pulled his head back a bit away from the sinful lips. it made hyungwon pout and whine. “ whyyy?” 

“ because i basically destroyed you last night and you’re pale as fuck and have no energy to go through another round.” hyungwon used all his strength and freed his hand from wonho’s and started caressing his thigh “ but you can just let me please you. you won’t have to do anything to me.” wonho exhaled roughly at the touch but he stopped hyungwon again.

 “no hyungwon. i’m not letting you do anything while looking like that.”  hyungwon pulled back a bit with his pout growing bigger, making his lips look even plumper. wonho swallowed the desire to jump him and devour those lips roughly.

“ are you saying that i’m ugly?” the older couldn’t hold back anymore as he cupped hyungwon’s face and placed a closed mouth kiss on his lips. “ you are not able to look ugly even if you wore a potato sack and haven’t showered for a month. what i meant is you look pale. your body is even colder than usual and i’m not letting you get away with it.” he placed another kiss on the pouty lips. “ the food is gonna be here soon and i’m gonna make you eat at least three plates.” 

“ i’m gonna explode you know!” hyungwon protested while letting the weight of his head rest on the older’s palms. wonho just looked at him like that. that beautiful face cupped by his palms. it made his cheeks look a little puffy and it was very cute. he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face.

“ what?” hyungwon asked returning the smile a bit.

“ you’re adorable.” wonho simply replied and the pink shade that he loved so much appeared on the younger’s face. hyungwon tried to pull back and hide his face cuz he was feeling shy but wonho didn’t let go of him.

“ why? you didn’t like my compliment? should i say something else? like…” he pretended to think hard while hyungwon looked at him with widened eyes as his attempt to run and hide had failed. “ like how you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen? or like you look really good while you let me do what i want to you? oooor…. how beautiful those lips look around my d-“ he wasn’t able to finish his sentence as hyungwon jumped up from the couch and covered his ears “ aaaa, i can’t hear you aaaaaaa” wonho laughed out loud holding his stomach as hyungwon acted like a 12 year old virgin, so unlike the sinful things he had done during their last night sex. he was almost unconscious by the laughter when the bell rang, indicating that their food had arrived. standing up and ruffling hyungwon’s hair, he picked his wallet from the counter and went to get the food.

 


	47. Forty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii Monbebeeeeeeeee and others who are reading this ^.^
> 
> we WON today!!!! #ShootOut1win!!! YAS! and wonho broke the trophy ( honestly the trophy was weak and my boy got all nervous so i wanted to go to korea and make him calm down! ) 
> 
> let's keep up the good work and make them win other shows as well. fighting!
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy this chapter.

the continuous buzzing of his phone made him wake up. opening his eyes and reaching for his phone on the coffee table, it stopped ringing as soon as he grabbed it. looking around, he felt the lack of something. hyungwon. hyungwon wasn’t there. he remembered watching tv sitting next to each other before he had fallen asleep. maybe he was in the bathroom or something. he unlocked his phone to see who’s been stubbornly calling him. it was kihyun. he got concerned as kihyun never really called him that many times. he had 8 missed calls and it was 10PM, meaning he had slept for about 2 hours already. pressing the call button, he waited till the other picked up.

“ aaaah, fucking finally! why the fuck do you not answer your phone?”

wonho groaned while taking the phone away from his ear to lessen the sound of kihyun’s shouting.

“ i was asleep. what’s up?”

“ your boyfriend being wasted is up.”

“ what?! my boyfriend?!” he was confused. his boyfriend who?!

“ yes wonho. your boyfriend hyungwon. he is here at the Blue moon club and he is drunk as fuck. get here as fast as possible please.” he hung up.

wonho looked at his phone screen for a couple of seconds, confused, and when he finally understood what kihyun had said he jumped up the couch. calling out hyungwon’s name and searching for him, he figured he was really not in the house so he quickly changed his clothes and put a mask on, grabbed his car keys and left to the club.

he arrived in less than 10 minutes as it was in their neighbourhood. he was a VIP there so he didn’t have to wait in the line and he headed straight towards the bar where kihyun had texted him they’d be. looking around he saw the group of his friends. all of them. but there was no sign of hyungwon. approaching them with a worried look on his face he shook shownu’s hand first.

“ where’s hyungwon?” shownu pointed to the dance floor and wonho’s jaw dropped. there he was, the pink haired beauty, dancing face to face with some stranger. the stranger guy had his hand on hyungwon’s waist and wonho noticed how he started pulling the younger closer to him slowly. hyungwon had his eyes closed and his head a little fallen backwards and was just dancing to the music. wonho’s blood started boiling when the said guy started caressing hyungwon’s neck and leaning forward. he made his way to the two dancing men and yanked hyungwon away from the guy.

“ what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” the stranger said angrily

“ i think you’ve touched him enough already.” wonho tightened his grip on hyungwon’s wrist without realizing it himself. hyungwon who had opened his eyes at the shock of being pulled away suddenly, placed his hand on wonho’s as his wrist was hurting a bit due to the pressure.

“ who the fuck are you to decide who he’s touched by?” the man spat.

“ that’s none of your business.” wonho threw the man a death glare before pulling hyungwon by the grip on his wrist away with him to the bar where others were. he made hyungwon sit on a chair,still holding onto him tightly. hyungwon looked at him in the eyes as soon as he was seated and found wonho’s gaze almost scary with how intense it was. but he was a psychiatrist, he knew how to not show weakness in these situations so he just kept the eye contact while remaining quiet although he’s much rather look away from it. wonho’s gaze suddenly turned into something soft as he sighed and looked at hyungwon again.

“ are you okay?” he asked gently. hyungwon nodded.

“ did the asshole bother you in any way?” hyungwon shook his head. he couldn’t go longer as his wrist was really hurting now. he looked down and tried to free his hand from the older’s grip. wonho who got shocked by the sudden realization of how much pressure he was implying, let go of his wrist and looked at him with a worried expression.

“ are you okay? did i hurt you? does it hurt?” he kept asking as he rolled the younger’s sleeve up to see his wrist. it was a bit red where he had held. well maybe a little more than a bit cuz hyungwon had a rather delicate skin, that’s why he was always covered in hickeys.

“ oh my god hyungwon, i’m so sorry. why didn’t you say anything?” he moved his head down and placed a few kisses on the skin and rubbed it smoothly in order to sooth the annoyed skin. hyungwon just sat there looking at him intently.

 

across from them, stood their friends, looking at them in shock and joy at the same time. they knew hyungwon loved wonho, it was too obvious. but what they didn’t know was that wonho had already felt the same, if not more. they had thought wonho liked the guy but they didn’t know he was in that deep already.

“ wow, he really has a soft spot for that kid. if it was me dancing with a stranger while being touched like that, he would be yelling at me for three hours straight.” minhyuk stated nonchalantly and shrugged “ come on jooooo, let’s go dancing.” he dragged his boyfriend away from the bar to the dance floor.

“ are you by any chance jealous of his behaviour towards hyungwon?” jooheon asked carefully while dancing and holding min close by his hands on his waist.

“ what? no! i was just trying to point out the fact that won really loves him.”

“ he really loved you too but he still couldn’t help but have a small fight when things like this happened.”

“ well maybe it’s because things like this happened a little too many times when it came to me and i’m just as hot-headed as he is so it’s fun fighting between us. it always ended in angry se-“ he stopped talking as he realized he was spilling too much tea. jooheon’s eyes widened.

“ angry sex? wow why am i not even surprised! “ he chuckled“ but what do you mean it happened too many times?” minhyuk shrugged

“ well you know how i think body contact doesn’t have to mean anything and dancing with a stranger can’t do any harm as i love dancing and clubbing whereas that bun- i mean wonho doesn’t like it so i found myself dancing partners a few times and he caught me for some of it. it’s not like i was cheating or anything but he still made such a big fuss about it.”

“ sometimes i wonder how you two got along all those years.” jooheon shook his head and kissed minhyuk, both giggling. it was the same for jooheon. he didn’t mind body contact so he kind of got what minhyuk was saying.

 

 

“ hyung, how could you leave him alone in that state? what if we hadn’t found him here tonight? “ changkyun said putting his hand on his brother’s shoulder from behind as he was bending while still caressing hyungwon’s wrist and blowing on it. hyungwon had his other hand on his lap and was sitting quietly, looking at the older’s actions. wonho stopped and stood straight upon hearing that.

“ what do you mean? i thought you guys came here together?!”

“ no!! we decided to come here and we saw him sitting there while drinking shot after shot alone.” kihyun explained and wonho turned to look at hyungwon with worried eyes.

“ has something happened? did you two fight? he is too pure for your poisonous behaviour wonho! you should be nice to him.”

“ i AM nice to him thank you very much and he is stronger than you think so shut up.” he said while looking down at a hyungwon who seemed a little out of it. he bent down again, checking if the skin was less red when he felt a hand in his hair. hyungwon was stroking his hair.

“ it’s okay. it’s not hurt anymore.” the younger almost whispered. wonho sat down in front of him, holding his hand in his, rubbing the smooth skin with his thumbs.

“ why did you come here alone? you could’ve woke me up so we could come together.”he said with a soothing voice.

“ you were sleeping so beautifully. i couldn’t bring myself to wake you up. you know how little sleep you get.” the younger kept stroking his hair.

“ why did you drink so much? what’s bothering pinkwonnie so much to have him poison himself hm? “ he asked and placed a gentle kiss on the back of the latter’s hand. hyungwon smiled shortly at the nickname.

“ i wanna quit the hospital. “ he said without hesitation. wonho froze.

“ what?!” hyungwon nodded to show he was serious.

“ ok, let’s get you home so you can sober up and then we can talk about this.”he stood up and helped hyungwon stand as well. the younger’s legs felt weak so he leaned on wonho.

“ home? where’s home? we’re going to my home? “ he asked, curious like a kid with big eyes.

“ home. you know, home home. my home hyungwon. why? do you wanna go to your place instead?” hyungwon hummed.

“ hmmm, i miss my apartment.” he pouted and frowned cutely. wonho pecked his lips quickly smiling and paid for the check.

“ ok, we’ll go to your house tonight, good?” hyungwon smiled widely at the news and hugged him tightly, circling his hands around his neck. wonho was absolutely melting by the amount of cuteness hyungwon was showing. sure the boy was cute overall but he was more stiff when being sober and around others. he would even maintain a poker face most of the time if it was necessary although at the hospital he was smiling most of the time. this cute side of him though, he had just seen very few times and he loved it. he was like a kitten when he was all clingy and pouty like this.

“ ok hyungwon, let go of me so we can get going.” hyungwon shook his head rapidly.

“ noooo, i don’t wanna waaaaalk. it’s too hard. just take me there. what are all those muscles for.” he knew what this was coming from. the younger was implying that he should just hug him and get him out of there so he wouldn’t have to walk. he was too used to being carried around during their love making sessions apparently.

“ it’s a club hyungwon. everyone would be watching. you hate that kind of attention, don’t you? “ with that hyungwon quickly let go and tugged his bicep instead.

“ i hate people “ the younger said with a pout deeper than before. wonho laughed but stopped by chewing on his lips. he took out his phone and turned the camera on immediately.

“ hey hyungwon, look up.” the latter did as asked and as soon as he did, wonho captured a photo and laughed out.

“ aish, hyuuuuung. stoop!” he frowned and covered his face with his free hand, still holding onto wonho’s bicep for dear life.

“ yah! wonho! stop teasing him already and get him home or he’ll pass out any minute right here. and then you’ll really have to carry him out!” shownu said laughing as well. wonho finally managed to stop “ ok ok! see you later guys. thanks for calling me and all.” he waved his hand and turned the other way, holding hyungwon’s thin waist, helping him stand properly.

 

on their way to hyungwon’s house, he kept humming a melody that wonho didn’t know. it was somehow familiar but he couldn’t pin point it. the younger suddenly turned to him

“ hyung, can we go to the beach?” he was as excited as a kid.

“ the beach?! right now?!” wonho looked at him for a second before looking back at the road. hyungwon nodded several times with a wide smile.

“ pleeeease. “ wonho chuckled upon seeing him like that. “ got it. we’re going to the beach then.” he turned the car in the direction of the beach and hyungwon was as happy as he could be in a drunken state.


	48. Forty Eight

The sea wasn’t that far, maybe a two hour ride but hyungwon, being drunk as fuck, fell asleep after around 50 minutes of constantly looking out all excitedly like it was his first time seeing everything. he would squeak and show wonho every pet or every cute kid he’d see while they were waiting for the light to turn green and wonho would just coo over whatever the younger was pointing at. he couldn’t help but laugh at how silly the “ doctor “ was acting. not that he was complaining or anything. he loved it. he loved it all wholeheartedly.

seeing on the navigator that they were rather close to the beach, he pulled up at a drug store. looking over to a sleeping hyungwon, he pulled the jacked he had thrown over him while the other slept, a little higher and went out the car, locking it just in case. he went inside the store and quickly bought some stuff that would help with the hangover and some painkillers and got back to the car.

they arrived a mere 10 minutes later and wonho drove all the way to the shore and parked the car near the giant rocks. it was 12:40 AM and it was rather dark, only a few street lights lightning their surroundings. he looked over at hyungwon. he was sleeping so peacefully and he didn’t wanna wake him up, knowing he would probably have a headache and would probably even throw up all he had drank. but he had to cuz the other really wanted to see the sea at the calmness of the night. that’s what he had told him on their way here.

getting out of the car and going around it, he opened the passenger’s and bent down so he could be able to unfasten the belt. clicking it open, he let it go to the side carefully. wonho couldn’t help but appreciate the sight of a beautifully asleep hyungwon in pink hair for a while. he couldn’t even remember how the boy had looked with black hair. it was as if the other had always had this color. finally, he gathered his senses and pushed his thoughts to the back of his head and put his right hand gently on the latter’s cheek. caressing it lovingly and enjoying the difference of their skin tone, he called the younger’s name. but he wan’t surprised when the other didn’t show any reaction. a drunk hyungwon was the hardest hyungwon to awaken.

“ hyungwon” he whispered while still caressing his thumb on the sleeping beauty’s cheek.

“ hyungwonnie~”

“ pinkwonnie~wake up. didn’t you wanna see the beach?”

nothing. there was no reaction what so ever. that left him one option. well he had two options but he didn’t wanna startle the boy so he chose the smoother one. he leaned in and pulled the cute curvy ear of hyungwon into his mouth and bit on it gently. the latter shifted a bit and whimpered but still didn’t wake up. wonho bit again while he added sucking and licking as well. hyungwon’s ears were quite sensitive so this was the only civilised way to wake him up at the moment. a few bites on the earlobe later, the younger slowly opened his eyes.

“ what are you doing hyung? let me sleep. “ he whined trying to push the older’s face away from his abused ear. wonho let go of the now red sensitive part but didn’t move back. instead he kept close to his ear and whispered “ the sea awaits my prince.”

hyungwon’s eyes flushed open as he felt his face heat up at the new nickname. ‘ prince’? did wonho just call him prince? ‘my’ prince?! he cleared his throat and pushed wonho away using a bit more strength compared to his last failed attempt and wonho leaned back and looked into his eyes, a genuine smile on his face.

“ we’re at the beach just like you wanted. but if you’re really tired now we can go to a hotel and come again tomorrow. it’s up to you.” he said and took the younger’s hands in his, squeezing them before rolling his sleeve up for no reason. suddenly hyungwon understood why the older did that and moved his hand away form him.

“ i told you it doesn’t hurt anymore hyung. it’s not like you cut me or something.” he realized that his tone was a bit harsh, nothing like the reassuring one he had attempted to have. he immediately opened his mouth to apologise but wonho was quicker as he grabbed the hand again and placed the hundredth kiss of the night on his wrist.

“ i know. it’s just, i can’t stop feeling guilty about it. doesn’t matter that it’s okay now. i hurt you and it’s still red. i’m so sorry.”

hyungwon frowned. his head was killing him and he really felt like he was gonna throw up at any second but what bothered him the most was the man’s behaviour at the moment. it was not okay to feel that amount of guilt for a mere thing like this. he had seen this behaviour before in the older. seeing how the other felt guilty about things that were long in the past or weren’t even that big a deal and letting them eat him up from the inside nonstop. and right now, he was just kneeling there by the passenger’s seat and staring at the wrist in his hands quietly. hyungwon cursed his skin for how fucking delicate and sensitive it was. why couldn’t he have one of those types of skins that would never even get a hickey that easily? why should his skin get this irritated by a simple grip?! but then again, wonho had always loved the marks he left on him so maybe it was a good thing to have this kind of skin? he groaned loudly and grabbed the older’s hand.

“ didn’t you say the sea awaits? well the prince doesn’t want to make it wait any longer. let’s go.” he let his sassy side take over and got out of the car, making wonho stand up as well. boy he was wrong thinking he would be okay after taking that many shots. his head was throwing violently and he even got dizzy, only being able to stand straight because wonho was quick to grab him. the older helped him sit on one of the rocks before going to the car and coming back with a paper pocket and a bottle of water in his hand.

“ here, i got stuff for hangover and painkiller. take what you think helps you the best.”

hyungwon eyed the many bottles and pills in the pocket and looked up at the black haired man standing in front of him looking a bit worried.

“ when did you get these and why did you get this much? how many people were you gonna help pull through a hangover?” he teased as he took a bottle out and tried to open it but to no avail. he had no strength whatsoever. wonho sighed, took the bottle and opened it before putting it on the younger’s lips. it was hyungwon’s turn to sigh as he took back the bottle “ i’m not a kid wonho. i can drink it myself.” damn, why was he being so harsh unlike usual. the older just hummed and left him there as he started walking closer to the water quietly.

 

 

 

 

Flashback

 

hyungwon woke up first. it was no surprise at this point that they had both fell asleep during a movie. he looked over to the black-haired muscles and couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. he looked at his phone. he had a few messages from himchan and kai.

he decided to open himchan’s first.

‘ hi hyungwon. it’s been almost a week already. i can’t make others fill your shifts anymore. time for you to make up your mind. whatever you decide, know that i will respect your decision. you have till tomorrow night. ‘

he knew sooner or later he had to finally face it. the reality that he no longer liked his job. he didn’t have any reason to do it anymore. he’d always done it for one goal and one goal only. to find a way to treat his sister. but now he had nothing that could make him happy about doing what he did. sure, it felt nice helping others get better and all that buzz, but he was never the “doctor” type of person although he had got quite accustomed to the role.

he felt helpless and decided he needed some fresh air. he didn’t even try to wake the other up. cuz 1. he wanted some alone time to think. 2. he was finally sleeping and he didn’t wanna interrupt it. wonho had problems falling asleep unless he was dead tired and couldn’t really help but pass out and at the times he did, it was rather most likely that he would have nightmares. so he was quite sleep-deprived. one thing they had NOT noticed at the time of his stay at the hospital cuz they were giving him too many pills with sleeping affects that would make the latter almost unconscious at times.

grabbing a jacket and his wallet and phone, he quietly tip-toes his way to the front door and opened it carefully not to make any noise. again, the other was a very light sleeper. it seemed as if every thing was against him sleeping.

he walked and walked while thinking and he found himself across from a bar with a shiny board. he decided it wouldn’t kill to let the alcohol take the matters in hand for once. maybe it would help him realize what he really wanted to do. what he didn’t predict was wonho’s friends showing up in the middle of his drunk-decision making process. he was already shots in when they arrived and scared a very clingy flirty big man that was trying to get into hyungwon’s pants. one which, thank god, no-one told wonho about. kihyun had been the first one to have approached them and wanted the guy to let go of hyungwon. the giant guy trolled kihyun because of his height and body size which made shownu take a step in and stand face to face with the guy by grabbing his collar and actually ‘making’ him let go of hyungwon. minhyuk was the next one to push the man away while jooheon grabbed his waist to calm him down. minhyuk could be extra no matter the situation. changkyun did nothing in particular but stood next to hyungwon while putting a hand on his shoulder.

he kinda felt thankful and relieved upon them doing that cuz comparing his body size to the other man’s and how demanding he was, he would have no strength to fight him f he decided to go all hercules on him, which he thought the man was quite close to do.

“ thank you.” he simply said before emptying his shot again.

“ woo woow, take it slow man. what’s wrong?” changkyun said taking the now re-filled shot away from him. hyungwon yanked it out of his hand and emptied it again and shrugged in response.

“ are you okay won? is wonho here?”shownu asked.

hyungwon smiled. “ won? both of us have the same short-name then. i kindda like it.” he took a deep breath “ he’s at his house.” he said still not looking at any of them and only straing at the liquid in his hand.

the boys all exchanged a look between them.

“ i’ll call him.” kihyun said and took his phone out.

“ minhyuk took kihyun’s place at his side and sat down next to him. he propped his elbow on the bar and placed his head on his palm, looking at him. he eyes hyungwon’s neck and the part of his chest that he could see through the neck cut, the trails of hickeys available on his skin.

“ are you okay hyungwon? is he too rough on you? these hickeys look pretty angry.” he touched the younger’s neck where a very deep red-purple one was. hyungwon flinched a bit at the touch but relaxed at the next second.

“ i got no problem with that. besides you can just poke me and it’ll turn red so it’s not like he had gone at rough as it’s shown. he’s actually quite careful most of the time. this is from the one time he lost his composure and it’s quite new so…” hyungwon had no idea what he was talking about and why he was saying these things to wonho’s ex-boyfriend. the ex that he was kind of sure wonho still felt something towards.

“ why are you here alone though? did you two have a fight because of him having to leave or something?” jooheon said and earned him a death glare from both changkyun and minhyuk while hyungwon looked at him for the first time, confused.

“ what do you mean he has to leave? where? for how long? why didn’t he tell me about this?” he felt his blood boiling more and more by the second. it was that moment jooheon knew he had fucked up and had spilled the tea. clearing his throat nervously he looked at shownu for some sort of help which the latter only shook his head disappointedly and leaned on the bar, crossing his hands. jooheon shifted on his legs a bit before talking “ well, we kind of got along with the ceo and now the schedules are resumed and won, he’s going to Thailand for a week in two days. actually one day cuz it’s almost the end of today.”

“ when did this happen? “ hyungwon asked with a poker face and no emotions on his face. jooheon looked hesitant.

“ aaah…. today?! “

“ it’s when i came by in the morning. the guys were apparently called to the company at that time.” minhyuk explained to him and jooheon looked at him questionably, raising an eyebrow.

“ what? i went to punch some senses into him for ignoring you.” he defended himself and jooheon groaned in his palms.

“ i told you to leave him be min.” he whined and hyungwon turned back to his drink and shut down the voices of the boyfriends bickering and the loud music and everything else along with it, only focusing on the liquid and the thought of wonho leaving and him having to decide whether he wanted to quit the hospital or not.

the frustration was eating him up as he gave up on drinking after a million shots and went to the dance floor. dancing and minding his own business with his eyes closed, he felt a pair of hands touching him. he was too out of it to even care so he just let it be for now. maybe he would do something about it later if the hands went placed they shouldn’t have. and then it was sudden. a hand had grabbed his wrist and pushed him away full force. he opened his eyes to see wonho and all of his anger melted away just to be replaced by worry that he would actually kill the other guy by his scary gaze if he kept shooting those glares at him for much longer. and then he went in the denial faze. deciding to go to the beach with wonho now that he still had the chance of having the older next to him.

 

end of flashback

 

 

with the affect of alcohol drifting away, he couldn’t help but feel anger rising up again. sure, they never said they were a thing but he was sure as fuck entitled to know these things. they were close to each other so many times and had shared so many moments that he was sure he was right to feel betrayed and ignored at the moment. everyone else knew but him. just like when the ceo had changed and everything. emptying the bottle of medicine, he put it back in the pocket and left the whole thing by the rock before standing up and going after wonho who didn’t seem to want to stop walking in the water. he made his steps faster as he saw the water had now reached the waist of the older which made him actually panic. he ran the few more steps before making the latter turn around rather harshly. hyungwon put his both hands on the muscular shoulders, squeezing a bit.

“ what the fuck are you doing? do you wanna die?” he yelled with a serious face. the older seemed shocked when he looked at his eyes and back at the sea that seemed to go on forever.

“ no! i know how to swim and i was about to stop when you went all psycho on me.” he pushed hyungwon’s hands away from him.

“ i’m not suicidal doctor. no need to panic.” he said and kneeled down before lying on the surface of the water. hyungwon looked down at him rather irritated.

“ don’t ‘doctor’ me now wonho. am i only entitled to worry about you if i’m your doctor? can’t i be just hyungwon and still worry? or do we always need some kind of a title for that? is that why you haven’t told me about you leaving in a day as well? cause we don’t have any kind of title that attaches us together anymore?”

wonho opened his eyes and looked up at hyungwon’s eyes silently.

“ well? i want answers! am i just someone you’re passing your time with while you’re trying to get over your ex? some guy that has pink hair that you’re so dearly attracted to? what if i changed it? what if i shaved it all? would you still act the same way? do i even fill in the category of people you call your friends? cuz all of your friends always know stuff and i’m always finding things out through them. you just don’t care to tell me things, do you? like who you never opened up no matter how hard i tried.”

wonho just kept looking at him silently, floating on the surface as hyungwon yelled everything out of his chest. when he was sure the younger was done, he stood up and hugged hyungwon in a warm and tight embrace. it was always calming the way he had hugged him, slow and intimate. hyungwon didn’t hug back though. he was tired, sleepy, hangover and he needed answers. now.

wonho started to talk in the hug.

“ you can be just hyungwon all the time cuz that’s the person i like the most in this world. i’m sorry i said it like that. i don’t need any titles to be with you. i just want to have you near me. i wanted to tell you when i came back but you started teasing and then the food arrived and by the time we had finished eating, i was all caught up in the fear of you leaving me if you learned that i was starting schedules again. i don’t need titles hyungwon. i just like us like this. close and calm. i’ve never felt the way you make me feel with anyone. not even min. you’re a gift to me from whoever that is in charge of this world. you’re the main reason i’m able to function right now. i’m standing here clean of drugs because of the promise i made to you. i’m over min. i’ve been over him for a long time now. i still have nightmares about the accident and feel guilty about it but i don’t feel anything romantic towards him anymore. there’s only you. you’re the first thing i think of when i wake up and the last thing when i drift off to sleep. and i love the pink hair because it’s on you. any other guy could have it and i wouldn’t care the slightest. you could shave it all and i’d still love you. i’m just scared you would leave because my life style is crazy. i’ve been struggling with this for a long time now. i can’t ask you to stay because it would be so selfish of me to put you in such a hard situation and i’d never be able to get rid of the guilt, the fact that you could be with someone who could be by your side instead and then i think of letting you go and it hurts so much i can’t even think about it for more than two seconds. i can’t think of letting you go hyungwon.” his arms tightened around hyungwon’s body as he buried his head deeper in the crook of his neck. hyungwon’s heart was beating a million beats at a second.

“ y-you…you love me?!” he stuttered. wonho loosened his grip and leaned back just enough to be able to look the taller in the eye.

“ you said i could shave my hair and you’d still love me…!” hyungwon said not believing his ears. wonho blushed a bit and looked away. he grabbed a fistful of hyungwon’s jacket at his back where his hands were tugging the material and looked back into the younger’s eyes.

“ i love you hyungwon. so much. you can’t even imagine for how long i’ve been wanting to tell you but i didn’t wanna be selfish. i wanted to give you the chance of running away from me.” hyungwon’s eyes started tearing up as he pulled wonho flush against his body tightly and rested his head oh his shoulder.

“ i love you too hyung. please don’t let go. i won’t be able to breath without you.” he felt how a hand went through the strands of his hair and started stroking slowly.

“ i won’t be able to let go even if i tried to and believe me i did my best to do so. forgive me for being a selfish bastard hyungwon but i’m gonna keep you for myself. please don’t leave me. talk to me when it gets hard so i can know the problem and fix it. don’t let it pile up inside. i can’t deal with it if you ever left me. it’s been only a few months and i’m already deeply and insanely in love with you. i can’t lose you.ever.” hyungwon felt wonho’s voice shake as he gasped for air and his breathing pattern increased. he figured the older was crying. so he started doing the same, stroking his hair while his other hand drew smoothing circles on his back.

“ shshsh… it’s okay. i won’t ever leave you. we’ll make things work out. i promise. i love you so much wonho. everything about you. “ he pulled wonho’s shoulders away from his body and made him look up by putting his index finger under the older’s chin. he was right. the man he loved so dearly was crying out of the fear of him leaving him one day. he wiped the tears away. leaning in slowly while he cupped wonho’s face in his palms, he whispered against his lips “ sarang-hae “

and they shared the most passionate kiss that there was in the world. there they stood, in the sea with water up to their waists under the moonlight at the middle of the night, confessing and enjoying the tender touch of the person they loved, wishing for this moment to last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo.... wonho finally confessed!!! yay!! lol!! you guys happy now? :D 
> 
> honestly, i love this story too much that i don't wanna end it. but i kind of only have a plot in my head for like 4-5 more chapters? unless i add a series of angst or fluff or you know the long-awaited smut that i'd rather not write cuz oh my god it's super hard to write those!!!!!! what do you guys think? how much longer should i continue with this?  
> ( please comment. i really wanna know! )


	49. Forty Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****WARNING*****  
> This chapter contains a slight smut. it's not that smutty but still... so i decided to put a warning nevertheless.  
> Also, excuse any mistakes as i usually don't proof-read the chapters cuz note in macbook gives me enough headaches by auto-correcting EVERYTHING!

they had confessed. they had kissed and now they were freezing due to their wet clothes. they walked out of the water, both shivering to their very bones.

“ we are insane. who said it was a good idea to kiss for an eternity in the middle of the freaking sea in the midnight?” hyungwon said annoyingly, cold was something he was enemies with. next to him, wonho chuckled.

“ get in the car and take your clothes off. turn on the heater and wait for me.” he said as he gave the car keys to hyungwon and started running away. hyungwon stood there a bit perplexed. he didn’t like being all alone in the absolute darkness surrounding him. he quickly got in the car and locked it. he got rid of his wet clothes just like the older had said and turned the heater on to the highest level. about 20 minutes later, wonho returned and knocked on the door which practically made hyungwon’s spirit leave his body for a second.

“ god you scared me. “he said still panting and holding onto his heart as the older got in. wonho chuckled and muttered an apology.

“ here, wear these. sorry i couldn’t find anything better.” hyungwon eyed him before taking the plastic bag from his hand. taking them out, he saw two t-shirts and sweatpants.

“ where did you buy these at this hour? ”

“ i bought them from an old man’s shop. he basically sells everything from food to toys to clothes and stuff. he has a 24h convenience shop thingi. “ he replied and took a pair of sweatpants from hyungwon. undressing quickly and wearing the new dry clothes, hyungwon looked at wonho and burst out laughing. the other looked absolutely hilarious in those clothes. you see, the celebrity here was a fashionista. he would always match everything even if he was in a hurry. now however, he was wearing one of those “ i love NY” t-shirts with a big red heart and a very green sweatpants with three white lines on the sides. 

“ what?!” wonho asked him with raised eyebrows and a slight pout.

“ you look hilarious. i wanna take a photo and post it so your fans will see what their fashion god, wonho, is wearing right now. actual tears started coming out of his eyes due to the laughter.

“ well i’m sorry to disappoint you but this kind of clothing used to be my only choice when i was a kid since it’s the cheapest kind. even now i got all of it for like 10 dollars.” hyungwon calmed down a bit due to the surprise.

“ you used to wear things like this? not that i’m saying it’s not okay or anything, clothes are clothes but how?! how did you change from this to that!?”

“ i told you. we were really poor. as soon as i could afford good outfit, i ditched these. it’s a wonder the owner of the shop remembered me even after all these years.” he said and started the engine.

“ you lived here?! “ the older hummed

“ wow, i envy you. you grew up by the sea.” a wide smile grew on wonho’s face.

“ it was probably the best thing in my childhood.” hyungwon reached out for his hand on the wheel and squeezed it. he then looked out the front.

“ where are we going though? “

“ to a hotel. you’re not expecting us to sleep in the car or do you?” wonho looked at him with a judging expression.

“ i thought we were going back and i was getting ready to protest. “

“ there’s no way i’m gonna go back to the city without having a taste by the sea.” hyungwon didn’t understand at first but as soon as he did he grew as red as a tomato.

“ yah! “ he hit the older’s bicep.

“ hitting your boyfriend? tsk tsk , such a bad boy.” wonho teased the younger with an evil smirk on his face. he looked over at him and saw hyungwon blushing like crazy.

“ what? afraid i would punish you?”hyungwon narrowed his eyes.

“ i didn’t know you had such kinks.” his hand was still on the older’s bicep.

“ i do have kinks that you’re yet to know of as i have basically gone super easy on you. BUT i don’t have punishment kinks so no worries. i was just kidding.” he reached out to the younger’s thigh and squeezed it in reassurance.

“ you scared me for a moment there hyung.” he let a sigh of relief leave his lungs.

“ why? you’d leave if i had those? actually, we never really talked about it. i’m always afraid of things getting too much for you cuz you’re rather delicate in form. so,, what do you like? any special kinks?”

hyungwon looked shy. he was okay when it came to actually doing things but talking about it while not even being aroused was a no. he swallowed hard as he couldn’t even think straight, let alone form words and actually speak them. around a minute must have passed as wonho looked at him in suspicious that he had fallen asleep or something.

“ you okay there? it’s fine if you’re not comfortable talking about it. i’ll have to figure them all out myself. would be more exciting actually. but you have to promise me if things get too much for you, okay?” a few seconds passed with no replies. wonho squeezed his thigh again. “ okay?”

“ okay.” he nodded.

 

15 minutes later they were at a hotel by the sea in a room with the perfect view. wonho had especially asked for a room that had big windows to the sea. the employee had realized who he was but hadn’t said anything and had only looked at the both of them rather curiously. opening the window and letting the fresh air fill the room, hyungwon turned to wonho who was putting their wet clothes on the chairs separately so they would dry.

“ do you think she recognised you?” he was really worried.

“ who? the girl? of course she did.” the older replied as he took his shirt off.

“ won’t there be a problem?”

“ nah, it’s fine. let’s take a quick shower before bed.”

“ bed? i thought you wanted to have a taste?!” he said mischievously.

“ oh?!” wonho raised his eyebrow and smirked. closing the distance he curled his arm around the thin waist and pulled hyungwon flush against his body.

“ i was kind of considering letting you rest tonight and have my taste tomorrow but if you’re offering then…” he leaned in and put his lips on the skin of the younger’s neck. placing a hot kiss on it that lasted a few seconds.

“ but before anything, we have to take that shower cuz we are drowned in sea water. i don’t know about you but my stomach doesn’t handle that very well.”

“ okay then you go first. i’ll go right after.” wonho frowned

“ seriously hyungwon?! i’ve seen you naked how many times? and you’re still shy about shower?”

“ well………… i don’t like you watching me wash my body!”

“ i’ll wash it for ya then. come on” wonho grabbed hyungwon’s wrist and attempted to take him along but hyungwon stood rock still which made wonho turned back to him

“ THAT’S EVEN WORSE!” hyungwon panicked. wonho sighed and got close to him again. brushing the younger’s hair out of his face and playing with the loose strands after he looked into the pink haired man’s eyes intently.

“ why are you so ashamed of this? i’m gonna be washing myself in front of you as well. it’s not like it’s something weird to do. and i’ve seen you from every angle so you have nothing to be ashamed of. you do know that i have practically carried you out of the tub and rinsed you once right?” he said the last sentence teasingly and earned himself a slap on the chest that echoed in the room cuz he wasn’t wearing any shirt. it wasn’t painful though. it just sounded as if it was a strong hit.

“ no need to remind me of that you evil! it’s just…… it’s different when it comes to sex. we’re both too turned on to pay attention. I’M too turned on to think about being shy and stuff.”

“ hmmm… then should i turn you on first? hm?” he said and slid his hand down and moved it on hyungwon’s crotch. the other gasped at the touch. one thing he loved about hyungwon was that he was super sensitive and would react almost immediately. using the parted lips as an opportunity, he leaned in and attached his lips to the younger’s and sliding his tongue in at the exact moment. hyungwon melted and let a low moan escape his mouth. he kept moving his hand and kissing him as he started walking backwards towards the bathroom slowly, taking hyungwon along with him this time. once they were in, he made the younger’s back touch the cold tiles as he deepened the kiss and was now turned on himself as well. the original thought of taking a shower long forgotten. taking the shirt off of the latter he started placing wet kisses on every patch of skin he could attach to while moving downwards until he reached the waist band of the pants. he took both the pants and the underwear off without hesitation and looked up at a beautifully fucked out hyungwon. he was biting his lower lip with his eyes full of lust as he kept looking down at him. wonho sucked the skin near his hipbone and bit on it, earning himself a hiss from the sinful lips. he placed hyungwon’s right thigh over his shoulder and started biting on his inner thigh. hyungwon moaned beautifully and dug his nails in the tiles. wonho kept teasing him. he would kiss and bit on his skin, going closer to the place hyungwon wanted him to, only to go back to the now abused skin of the thighs. he felt how fingers went through his hair and fist his hair in a tight grip, guiding him to his hard member. wonho however didn’t do as the other wished. despite the hurt in his scalp by the tight grip he stood up, took his wrist and made him let go of his hair.

“ i think you’re turned on enough for the shower now.” he whispered against hyungwon’s lips and the latter groaned in frustration. having none of it, he turned on the shower and adjusted the water temperature before turning back to wonho and pressed him against the same tiles he was pressed against mere moments ago and went straight for the neck. the most sensitive part on the older’s body. he sucked on the skin hard enough to leave a mark.

“ hyungwon, stop. it’ll leave a mark. i have schedules in two days.” he managed to sort out a sentence between his moans. he did try to push the younger away from his neck but it felt too good so he was left with no fucks to give and decided to just give in and let hyungwon do what he wanted. he could always take the endless scoldings later.

“ why? don’t want others to know you’re taken? “ the latter said in between the rough bites.

“ nonsense. i’ll kiss you on the stage in front of thousands of audience if you let me.” he said and grabbed a fistful of the pink hair and made him detach his neck and clashed their lips together in a hot desperate kiss. the kisses was his favourite part. their lips and tongues moved as if they were supposed to play with each other. he grinned his hips against hyugnwon and the latter moaned a bit louder this time into the kiss. moving forward with hyungwon in his arms a bit so that they were directly under the shower. they continued kissing for a long time before wonho moved his hand down and started stroking hyungwon’s member in fast and hard strokes which made the latter gasp and moan loudly. his voice echoing in the bathroom as he threw his head backwards at first and a few strokes further, he let his head rest on the older’s shoulder, feeling his high getting closer by the moment. wonho went faster and faster until he felt hyugwon’s body weight completely on his own as the younger was basically hanging on him, unable to keep himself up any longer. a few seconds later he came with a mantra of wonho’s name on his lips. letting the water wash away the cum, he cupped hyungwon’s face away from his shoulder and kissed his half open eyes and then his nose and finally those sinful plump lips that were now swollen.

“ so? will you wash yourself or should i do it for you? “

hyungwon swallowed and tried to fully open his eyes as he was now gaining a bit of his strength back. “ i’ll do it myself.” and smiled pecking the older’s lips one last time before he leaned forward and took the shower gel from a cabinet close by the shower.

“ ok. but i’m not done yet. be prepared for round two when we get out.” 


	50. Fifty

“ ok. but i’m not done yet. be prepared for round two when we get out.” 

this was wonho’s warning from last night. and add the fact that he had told him he had gone super easy on him in bed. well, last night hyungwon had a taste of what wonho could really do to him. with a sex drive of a god, the older had made hyungwon wreck to the point of passing out. not that he was complaining. he had loved and enjoyed every second of it. he loved being manhandled and wonho was perfect at the job with how easily he could just throw and carry him around with those muscles of his.

he was awake. he had been for about half an hour but hadn’t moved. 1.cuz the older was asleep and he didn’t wanna disturb it, knowing that starting from tomorrow, he was going to cut his sleeping hours short again. 2. cuz well, he was trapped by wonho’s limbs. 

he would just remain motionless for as long as he had to for his boyfriend to wake up on his own. he could use this time to actually look at his features as he was sleeping. no wrinkles in between his eyebrows due to unpleasant dreams, only the peaceful inhale and exhales. but his plan didn’t work out as the loud sound of knocking on their hotel room made wonho’s body jerk harshly and he opened his eyes in question. the knocking was repeated and hyungwon got off the bed to open the door, hiding his naked body behind it.

he opened the door about like 10 centimetres and looked through the small gap. there was a woman, middle aged with a serious expression on her face.

“ good morning sir. i’m here to serve the breakfast you had ordered.” hyungwon was dumbfounded. they hadn’t ordered anything. 

“ sir?” hyungwon cleared his throat.

“ but we didn’t order anything.”  the woman was about to talk when hyungwon felt a hand on his shoulder.

“ it’s okay wonnie. go in the bathroom while this lovely lady serves our breakfast. cuz you know..” he pointed at his naked glory. wonho himself was dressed now. the younger blushed, nodded and ran into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

wonho opened the door, welcoming the lady inside. the woman carried the tray inside and placed it next to the table, putting the plates and drinks on it. wonho smiled at her and it made her heartbeat go fast. it was nothing new that his smiley face did wonders to people. even the serious ones!

“ thank you.” he gave her a generous amount of tip and he thanked him back before leaving the room. hyungwon had used this time to wash his face and freshen up a bit. when he came out of the bathroom wonho was reading something that appeared to be a bunny shaped gift card.

“ what’s that?” he asked walking towards the older, wearing his sweatpants now.

“ you’re honestly gonna have to get used to these stuff from now on. this, my dear boyfriend, is a gift from a fan.” he pointed at the elegant breakfast and the shook the card in his hand. hyungwon took the card from him.

‘ wonhoi oppa sarang-hae. <3 i hope you enjoy the little breakfast i told them to prepare for you. sorry i couldn’t stay longer to serve you myself.

also, oppa, your new boyfriend is really beautiful. i envy the both of you for having the other :( post his picture on ig soon please? kkk ‘

hyungwon raised his eyebrow looking at the older who had already started eating.

“ hm?” he asked while chewing

“ are your fans always this loving and supporting? like, i’ve heard fans can break bones when they find out about their idol dating?!” 

wonho chuckled “ there is all kinds of fans out there. she happened to be a dear fan of mine. there will be people who are against me dating for various reasons. as there always has been.” hyungwon zoned out and frowned, biting on the inside of his cheek nervously. upon seeing that, wonho stood up and closed the gap between them, hugging the younger tightly.

“ it’s okay hyungwonnie. i won’t let anyone lay a finger on you. i promise.”

“ it’s not what i’m worried about though. what if they attack you? like the other idol who announced he was dating a guy a few weeks ago and they had literally threatened they would kill him?” hyungwon’s voice was slightly shaking at the thought by now. wonho only tightened his hug further and started rubbing his back.

“ shshsh, it’s okay. they won’t be able to actually do anything. the company’s security is very high. they are aware of every threat. besides, i have come out a very long time ago and i’ve dealt with all those threats and stuff already. they have given my case up for a while now. only dropping a hate comment here and there from time to time.” he kissed the top of the pink hair.

“ come on. let’s eat the breakfast my lovely fan presented me and my beautiful boyfriend with.” he chuckled and hyungwon rolled his eyes at him but did as he was told cuz he had little to no energy after a wild night.

after eating in silence, they changed into their outfits from yesterday ( the wet ones that were now dry) and walked out to the beach hand in hand. they turned quite a few heads in their way out of the hotel as wonho wasn’t wearing any mask but the older seemed unbothered. hyungwon on the other hand was a bit nervous. it was his first time actually seeing wonho as a famous celebrity. one that was both loved and hated by so many people.

the hotel had it’s private beach so there weren’t many people around. they found a quiet spot by the rocks and sat on them. hyungwon was sitting between wonho’s legs, leaning back on his chest while the older played with his hair and placed a kiss on his head from time to time. he himself was playing with wonho’s other hand in his, occasionally bringing it up to place a kiss on the back or the palm or just simply licking on the digits playfully. those times, he would earn himself a hiss followed by a kiss on the cheek or a nibble on the ear from the older.

they sat there in a comfortable silence, listening to the sound of the sea smashing against the rocks fierce fully. wonho was the first one to break it and talk.

“ so… you wanna quit the hospital?” hyungwon froze. he had completely forgotten all about it. this, however, told him that he really no longer cared about his job. he could easily kiss the doctor roll goodbye any second. so he hummed in reply.

“ what are you gonna do then? have you thought it through?” the older asked in a soothing voice. low and sweet.

“ i’m gonna go back to professional dancing. shownu hyung texted me a couple of days ago about this show he is gonna perform for and asked if i wanted to be a part of it.” 

“ what did you say?” 

“ i said i’d think about it. i wasn’t yet sure about whether i wanted to really quit or not. but i’m gonna tell him i’ll accept the offer happily.” he couldn’t see it but he was sure wonho had a genuine smile on his face as he kissed his hair for the nth time. the older had a thing for kissing him endless times apparently. again, not that he was complaining. he loved the attention to the core.

“ i’m really happy you’re finally doing the thing you’re really passionate about.” 

“ well……… i did ride you last night. so yeah, i’m ‘doing’ all the things i’m passionate about.” he teased the older, turning his head upwards so he was able to peck his lips. but wonho wanted more than a small peck as he just grabbed his jaw in place and licked into his mouth in a rather long kissing session. they broke it after a dog barked while running towards them. both turning back their attention to the sea.

“ hyungwon…” 

“ stop.” 

“ what?” 

“ whatever you wanna say just don’t. i kinda feel it’s not gonna be a happy thing. i don’t wanna hear it.” wonho sighed.

“ but i have to say it. it’s now or never.” they remained silent for a few seconds until wonho spoke up again.

“ as i have confessed already you should know that i love you. whole-heartedly and i wish to keep you by my side forever. i’m fully aware of your feelings as well. but this, still is a big step in your life. one that i don’t want you to regret taking in the future. as you saw a glimpse of it today, there will be fans intruding our privacy nearly all the time. sure the gesture is nice and i personally enjoy it but you could easily get sick of it after a while like min did, and i wouldn’t blame you. celebrity life isn’t for everyone. this place has very few people around it and you saw how many eyes were on us just because i was holding hands with you. they will eventually know your face and you will have people on your tail even when you’re out alone. and don’t even get me started on the stupid things the paparazzi do. all and all, it’s not gonna be easy. i’m gonna be busy. i’ll never divide the work and give parts of it to others to do cuz then i’ll feel it’s not really ‘my’ song and i won’t feel good about it. it wouldn’t be perfect that way. meaning there will be times i won’t be able to come home for days. i’ll try and bring some of it to home but still, i won’t be able to spoil you that much at those times. it won’t mean that i love you any lesser, it means that i just need the songs to be perfect or else i’d go insane. so, after this long ass speech, all i wanna say is that you should really use the one week i’m not here to think it through. to weight it all down and see if you’re really up for this. i’m not saying i can let you go just like that if you decide you don’t want this lifestyle, it would be hell but i will respect your decision.” 

“ didn’t i tell you not to talk?” hyungwon interrupted him, body visibly tense against his chest.

“ fine, i’ll think about it. i won’t let pick up your calls or answer your texts for a whole week and will sit like that statue with my elbow on my knee and think this through. are you satisfied now? can i have my peaceful silence back please?” he huffed. annoyed at the other constantly trying to remind him how he should leave before it all gets too much. wonho had this pattern in his brain. ‘run before i get to you.’ from the way he avoided his parents and now jooheon, to the way he locked himself away whenever he was troubled with something to this situation now. hyungwon had so much fixing to do. he had to make him open up one thought at a time. he had to help the older let go of his fears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you didn't reply so i'm gonna write as many chapters as i want and i won't care if it becomes too long hehe


	51. Fifty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oi,,, i'm gonna write a bit in ig or gc style cuz why not!! let's have some fun before we move to the next step of their relationship. The group chat is created in Instagram so those are their Usernames. also, i will NOT write negative comments at the times i write them under the post cuz we have enough of those even on the "fanboard" and "fanpages" already thank you very much!

It had been five days since wonho had left to Thailand. hyungwon had said he wouldn’t contact him to sort his thoughts out. which he didn’t need to cuz he had already thought about those things a million times and he could say he was ready to cope with them and that he didn’t really mind a celebrity lifestyle. but for wonho’s ease of mind, he had agreed to what the older had offered. so five days of no connection whatsoever, he was missing him and he was going insane over it.

 

 

 

 **Ki**.HamD **created a group chat**

 **Ki**.HamD **renamed group chat to “ MX squad “**

 **Ki**.HamD **added** ShoBearNu

 **Ki**.HamD **added WonHo**

 **Ki**.HamD **added H.One**

 **Ki**.HamD **added** WhaleMin

 **Ki**.HamD **added JHoney**

 **Ki**.HamD **added** kkukkung

 

 

kkukkung: what is this? where am i? why am i here? is this heaven? have i died? 

 

ShoBearNu: typical kyunnie! 

 

kkukkung: seriously tho! and why is it named MX squad? I was not in the squad. 

 

Ki.HamD: i just couldn’t think of any other name. feel free to change it.

 

H.One: guys…. i’m not sure i should be here??

 

Ki.HamD: shut up won! i’ve already told you. you don’t need won to be around to communicate with us!

 

kkukkung: ok. but can’t we give one of them a different nickname? we can’t call them both by ‘won’ 

 

WhaleMin: who needs a new nickname when we call him bunny all the time? 

 

ShoBearNu: yea… about that… he kinda sorta told us not to call him that anymore a while back.

 

WhaleMin: oh…. i don’t care though. i’m gonna call him bunny and no-one can stop me. watch me!

 

Ki.HamD: speaking of the bunny! who has been in contact with him? hyungwon?

 

H.One: no

 

ShoBearNu: he’s fine. just has barely any time to sleep. he said he was going to too many tv programs there.

 

kkukkung: where’s dimples hyung?

 

ShoBearNu: busy making songs.

 

WhaleMin: Shown hyung!!! stop!!! i am supposed to be the one who knows everything about everything. you’re stealing my role.

 

Ki.HamD: aren’t you supposed to be busy running a whole company or something?

 

WahleMin: aren’t you supposed to be busy chopping onions or something?

 

H.One: …… alright. talk to you later guys. i’m off to practice.

 

WahleMin: you scared him OFF you evil!

 

Ki.HamD: oh shut up min. anyways, update on wonho if you got any news. it’s barely been a week and we can already feel his lack of presence around wtf

 

ShoBearNu: the company is not the same when i visit and he’s away as well. even the staff say so.

 

kkukkung: aren’t they the ones who gave the nickname ‘asshole’ to him tho?

 

JHoney: well… he can be a pain in the ass while making music and not getting what he wants, losing his temper and all so….

 

WhaleMin: DIMPLES

 

JHoney: DOLPHIN

 

Ki.HamD: * throws up * ugh, bye.

 

WhaleMin: his single ass got jealous! ahahaha!!! 

 

JHoney: :))))

 

 

 

**WonHo**

   

**1,348,934 Likes         934,002 Comments**

Shoot out.

 

OneAndOnlyHo: Shoot out? a new song??

BunBun: OMG! SEND HELP! THOSE MUSCLES!!!!!!

Ki.HamD: sleep god dammit!!!!!

WonHo: @Ki.HamD nae eomma.

WonBebeCulture: I mean... ok but WAS THAT NECESSARY OPPA????

kkukkung: hyung, it's not fair.

WonHo: @kkukkung being smol suits you the best. don't get sulky.

 

 

 

 

**MX Squad**

 

WonHo: new group? 

 

kkukkung: yep. sup bro?

 

WonHo: the usual. dead tired. won’t fall asleep. same old same old.

 

Ki.HamD: istg!!! how can you even manage to have time to go to the gym on such a packed schedule?

 

WonHo: cutting sleep of course! why do you even ask!?

 

Ki.HamD: *** sighs *** i’m gonna post an embarrassing picture of you cuz i warned you beforehand about this. it’s all your fault at this point.

 

WonHo: ki!!!

WonHo: KIHYUN! 

WonHo: YOO KI HYUN GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE AND DO NOT POST ANY PHOTOS OF ME. 

WonHo: i’m gonna kill him.

 

 

 

 

Ki.HamD

**984,932 likes          573,840 comments**

back when he knew of concepts called 'sleeping' and 'eating properly' and hadn't become as much of a gym rat as he is now. scold him #wonbebe!

 

 

**MX squad**

WonHo: ahahaha….. ki,,, don’t kill me but i had already shared that photo with them a million years ago!! 

ki.HamD: why do i even bother… i’m out for now bitches.

 

ShoBearNu: won, when will you come back?

 

WonHo: dunno. something’s come up and i might have to go to Jakarta after this for a few days but it’s not 100% yet.

 

JHoney: what?! everything okay?! 

 

WonHo: yeah…. i can’t tell you anything now. sorry.

 

ShoBearNu: but you sure you’re okay? you’re being suspicious!

 

WonHo: everything’s fine guys! geez! i have to go now. night night or day day or whatever. won out.

 

kkukkung: that…. didn’t sound right! but anyways…

kkukkung: HAVE YOU SEEN MY BRO’S MUSCLES?!

kkukkung: I AM JEALOUSY!

kkukkung: WHY DON’T I HAVE SUCH GENETICS?

 

JHoney: you’re good being smol. shut up.

 

kkukkung:  :((((

 

upon reading the chat and what wonho had said, hyungwon felt uneasy. did it mean he would have to keep his distance for more days or could he call him after the 7 days were up? also, he noticed wonho and jooheon were talking casually like nothing was wrong between them. did they make up? he groaned and threw his phone away, emptying the water bottle in his hand in one go. he had been practicing nonstop for the show they were attending.

 

the day wonho had left, hyungwon had went to the hospital to personally hand in his resignation. himchan didn’t look all that happy about it, cuz let’s face it, hyungwon was hell of a good doctor but he was supportive nevertheless. saying goodbye to the doctors and nurses there and packing his stuff from his office, he headed out to go back to his long-forgotten apartment. the one he hadn’t been to for a long time now. it took him a day to clean the place up and pack the things related to the hospital and his former work in boxes to put them away as he didn’t really need them around anymore. and from the second day he started going to the dance school. he and shownu and a few more dancers would practice until they felt like dying. sometimes, the company called and shownu had to leave for a few hours while they kept on practicing on their own. hyungwon was dead tired but he hadn’t felt that alive in a very very long time. he figured he’ll never regret quitting the hospital.


	52. Fifty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for too many updates!! i just have to! it won't leave me be if i don't put it into chapters!! anyways, this is almost about pictures again. i love photos so much! so maybe you'll enjoy them as well?

It was a certain date again. one that wonho’s fans along with their old MX squad fans from WOD times had been celebrating and congratulating them with trending hashtags and stuff for the past few years. it was their anniversary. wonho and minhyuk’s. the only difference was that now they weren’t together anymore. it all started when one of the biggest wonho’s fan pages posted a photo of won and min with a certain caption and from there, so many fans started posting their couple photos with similar captures. soon, the hashtag #WonHyukRememberWhen was trending.

 

(the first post:)

WonhoW

Remember when wonho posted this and we all lost our shit and thought they were gonna get married? i miss my parents :(

 

 

WonBeBeZ

  

Remember when we doubted if wonho was really the top... #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

WonWon

  

Remember back when they were so obsessed with each other's lips? #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

WonTo

Remember back in WOD times, minhyuk practically spanked wonho on stage on national TV?#WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

WonBun

Remember how much we wanted this to happen? I MISS MY PARENTS :'(#WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

WonMin

 

Remember when we knew what min was really talking about?.... :)) #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

WonHoi

Remember that one Halloween... #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

BunnyWon

Remember when Kihyun blessed us with this photo? #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

MinMinWonWon

   

I miss my umbrella boyfriends :( #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

 

1ho

Remember when paparazzi caught them together for the first time? #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

MasterWonho

   

Remember back in WOD times when they weren't dating yet? #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

DaddyWonho

Remember when we witnessed this at that concert Min was attending and wonho made him come on stage? #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

WonTokki

Remember when Minhyuk grabbed thy tiddy? i so wanted to be in his place :'( #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

MyWonHo

  

I'm still not over the fact thay they broke up :'( i literally cried. i shipped them so hard. i just wish they hadn't separated :((( #WonHyukRememberWhen

 

 

 

 

and thousands more.

the fans were just sobbing in the remembrance of the couple they loved for years and didn’t think it would hurt anyone. but a certain pink-haired guy was somehow sad and somewhat jealous. sad because he missed his boyfriend dearly, because he wondered when they could ever spend so much time and share so much memories together and jealous because his fans seemed to really love the wonhyuk relationship. what if they wouldn’t accept hyungwon when they found out? and what would wonho think if something like that was to happen?

 

it was the day wonho was supposed to come back. he hadn’t been active in the group chat kihyun had created. not a single word. hyungwon wanted to ask from someone how he was doing as they never talked about wonho in the gc when they were chatting. but he decided against it cuz he didn’t wanna explain the reason why they weren’t talking and he didn’t wanna be scolded by kihyun and possibly shownu at how childish they were being. he knew it himself. he was just scrolling down the feed, looking through the endless memories of the duo when his phone started ringing. ‘wonho’

“ h-hello? “ he answered hesitantly

“ hey hyungwon. how are you?” the older’s voice was tired and it seemed as if he was walking in a street or something. there was so much noise in the background.

“ i’m…good.”

“ you really didn’t call. not even a single text” it was obvious the other was sulking at the other end of the line. hyungwon chuckled to himself imagining how it looked. his lips pouty and his eyebrows upwards.

“ i wanted to show you i can perfectly stand by my promise.”

“ huuuum… so…. have you made up your mind?”

“ do you really wanna talk about it over the phone?” there was a few seconds of silence.

“ you’re right. let’s talk about it later. i actually called about something else.” he waited for the older to continue.

“ have you..um.. have you checked social media today? i didn’t know about it or i would’ve called sooner. jongup just told me what was going on in there…”

“ i did. they seem to love you two so much still although you have broken up.” he sounded bitter although he hadn’t intended on showing it.

“ wonnie, they see it all from the outside. and from their view, it’s all kisses and butterflies. that’s why they’re still not over it. you know i’m over him, right? those posts don’t mean anything to me. today has no meaning for me anymore. okay?”

“ okay” he whispered his reply.

“ i miss you.” the older said in a very quiet voice and hyungwon almost missed it.

“ i miss you too.” there was another set of silence. hyungwon opened his mouth to talk but wonho was quicker.

“ wonh-“

“ won-ah, i have to go now. just wanted to make sure you’re okay. bye pinkie.”

“ bye.”

he wanted to ask whether the other was gonna come back today or not… he really missed him and hearing his voice just now didn’t make it easier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	53. Fifty Three

Hyungwon woke up the next day, thinking wonho must have arrived already so he unlocked his phone to see if he had any notifications. there were no messages from wonho for him but there was one in the group chat. it was sent at 3:30 AM and it was still pretty early so no-one else had seen it yet.

 

WonHo: i’m gonna turn off my phone for a few days. don’t worry. everything’s fine.

 

that was the only message he had sent. something wasn’t right. why wouldn’t he tell them what exactly was up and why would he turn his phone off? deciding to try his luck he dialed the latter’s number but it was indeed out of service. so he called jongup and that’s when it got weirder. jongup’s phone was also turned off. he was starting to panic. like why would they just shut everyone down like that and disappear?

he decided to go through his feed, maybe the fan pages had some info cuz the fans always seems to know everything but to his surprise, they also were panicking. apparently, wonho hadn’t arrived at the airport when they had expected him to arrive and there was no signs of where he had actually gone to. they only knew that he was seen at the airport the night before. hyungwon remembered wonho saying something about Jakarta but he hadn’t said anything further.

 

A few minutes later he heard a notification and he jumped on his phone, hoping it was wonho.

 

***********

 

**MX squad**

 

kkukkung: wtf?

kkukkung: his phone is really off.

 

H.One: jongup’s phone is off as well.

 

K.HamD: Joo, do you know anything? can you ask the guys at the company if they have any info?

 

JHoney: already have. no-one knows where those two are. the rest of the team have come back this morning.

JHoney: they said jongup told them they had a private thing to attend to but didn’t say where.

 

ShoBearNu: he did mention Jakarta though. maybe that’s where they are.

 

K.HamD: where’s minhyuk when we need his hacking and finding skills?

 

JHoney: he went on a business trip last night.

 

K.HamD: where to? i need some ingredients he could buy me. why didn’t he tell me he was going abroad!!

 

JHoney: Jakarta

 

ShoBearNu: what the….

 

kkukkung: something’s fishy.

 

JHoney: huh?!

 

kkukkung: fact that they both went to Jakarta?!

 

K.HamD: maybe they’re together then? something related to programming and the company and stuff?

 

ShoBearNu: jongup wouldn’t go with him if it was that. it should be only coincidental. 

ShoBearNu: guys relax. he said he’s fine so let’s just wait and see.

ShoBearNu: hyungwon, you there?

 

H.One: yeah…

 

ShoBearNu: off to work kids. see you in a bit won.

 

***********

 

hyungwon was never really the jealous type. or it’s what he thought. the fact that there was a small chance of them both being at one place at the exact time, didn’t sit well with him. he just wanted wonho back in his arms asap.

“ you’re dead when you come back. “ he whispered to himself looking at one of wonho’s photos.

 

 

 

4 days later, having spent them in absolute worry, wonho called him. it was way too early in the morning and he wouldn’t have woken up if he wasn’t sleeping alarmed in case the older decided to text or something. he would jump with every notification so basically he hadn’t slept well these past few days.

 

“ hyung?” he shouted into the phone as soon as he picked up.

“ hyungwonnie. did i wake you up?” his voice was really really energyless.

“ it doesn’t even matter! where are you?” he was both happy and angry at the same time.

“ i’m on the plain to head back in half an hour. there’s this program i have to record first thing when i get there. i’ll come to you right after that, okay?” 

“ o…kay, but you have some serious explaining to do. i was worried sick. i still am. are you even okay?” 

“ i’m fine. really. could you tell the guys that i’m okay as well? there are so many messages but i’m too tired to reply.” 

“ i will. hyung?” 

“ hm?” 

“ you’re really okay,right?” 

“ yeah. i am. “ 

“ okay then. get some rest while you can. see you soon.” 

 

 

 

 

**********

**MX squad**

 

H.One: hey guys.

H.One: wonho called. he’s on his way back.

H.One: he asked me to tell you he’s okay.

 

WhaleMin: Hellooooo bitches!

WhaleMin: oh yeah, we’re on the same plain. he fell asleep right after he hung up on you.

 

JHoney: babeeee, when will you arrive? i miss youuuu

 

kkukkung: 1.ewwwwww get a room

kkukkung: 2.why are you together tho?

 

K.HamD: gathering tonight at won’s house then?

 

ShoBearNu: nah, let him rest tonight. he’ll be probably on the verge of dying by the time he’s done with his schedules.

 

K.HamD: aw you’re right. then tomorrow? 

 

ShoBearNu: Tomorrow it is. i’ll bring the drinks.

 

H.One: please. no drinks. he’s still not completely recovered.

 

kkukkung: boyfriend goals.

 

JHoney: min and i are eww but 2won are goals? why are you picking favorites? :(

 

kkukkung: well 1 of the wons is my brother and the other is my bro’s lover so of course, they’re my favorites.

 

JHoney: i feel BETRAYED?! 

JHoney: anyways, where did my boyfriend disappear to!!

 

***********

 

Hyungwon left the dance school at 9PM. he had his phone with him the whole day but there were no calls from wonho. he had only texted him, telling him to go to his house and wait cuz he wasn’t sure when he would be done. and so he did.

It was around 11 when the front door opened and a very zombie looking wonho came in. he had serious dark circles under his eyes and he was paler than ever. hyungwon rushed to the door and took his backpack from him. wonho looked up at him and smiled crookedly. “ hi” he said in a breathy voice

“ hi” hyungwon replied smiling kindly “ you look horrible. “

wonho chuckled “ thanks.” he took his shoes off and followed the younger inside. when they got to the bedroom, hyungwon placed the backpack by the wall and turned to wonho.

the latter pulled him in a loose hug slowly with how little energy he had. hyungwon felt how wonho’s body was shaking briefly and he was cold.

“ why are you so cold? let me prepare you a hot bath and something to eat.” 

“ no, i just wanna sleep now. will you sleep with me?” his voice was shaky and hoars as well.

they went to bed by hyungwon’s guide and lied there, cuddling with each other with his head on wonho’s chest. it didn’t even take a minute for the older to fall asleep, hyungwon himself dozed off listening to the calming sound of his boyfriend’s heartbeat while trying to push the thoughts he had to the back of his head.

 

 

 


	54. Fifty Four

when hyungwon woke up, wonho wasn’t in bed. panicking that he must have left already at how silent the apartment was, he jumped up and walked fast to check the living room. there wonho was, sitting on a chair by the kitchen counter, his hands flat on it and his head lying on them. by him was a glass of water and the pills he takes when his stomach flu bothers him.

hyungwon frowned and pressed his lips together. walking slowly not to make any noise he got closer to wonho.

“ hyung “ he called quietly. nothing.

“ hyuung “ this time he received a weak hum.

“ why are you sleeping here? let’s go back to bed. “ he took the older’s bicep to help him stand. wonho was cold. unusually cold.

“ are you sick? does it hurt anywhere? “ he checked his forehead and it was sweaty but cold.

“ i’m fine. “ wonho said without even looking at him and pulled his hands off of him gently. the older walked back to the bedroom with the help of walls himself and got to the bed and under the blanket, still visibly shaking and slightly sweating.

walking out of the bedroom after checking on wonho, hyungwon grabbed his jacket and phone and went out. he wanted to call jongup to ask what the hell was going on and why was wonho in that condition but he didn’t want the older to know about it.

 

“ jongup hyung. hi “ 

“ hyungwon, hey. what’s up “ 

“ hmm, hyung, do you know what’s wrong with wonho? “ 

“ uh…. what do you mean?” 

“ he looks horrible and he’s so cold and shivering.” jongup didn’t reply right away. he cleared his throat after a couple of seconds.

“ hyungwon,, give him some time. he had it rough the past week. he’ll be alright.”

“ but what happened? why is he like this?” 

“ he… i think you should ask him that. later though. he’s extremely moody now.”

 

 

after a very awkward conversation that did hyungwon no good and only made him more confused, he entered the apartment again. he wanted to wake him up and ask him why the hell he was like that but he knew it’s better to let him rest. looking at his watch, it was time for him to leave. he had to practice for the show so he called changkyun. he told him that wonho was sick and he had to leave and asked him to come there to take care of the older while he was gone. 20 minutes later a worried changkyun arrived.

 

“ is it a cold or ? “ 

“ i don’t know kyun. he didn’t talk to me. he’s just very cold so i need you to just be here in case his temperature lowers or something.” 

“ don’t worry hyung. i’ll look after him. off you go now.” 

 

 

 

 

when hyungwon left, changkyun walked in the bedroom and sat on the floor by his brother. 

“ you idiot “ he sighed and brushed wonho’s hair out of his face and just sat there looking at his brother who had a deep frown on his face while shivering still although he had three blankets on him.

a couple of hours later, he woke up and he was a bit better. he wasn’t shivering anymore and his body wasn’t as cold but still not like normal.

“ hey” 

“ what are you doing here? “ he asked while rubbing his eye and looking around. “ where’s won? “

changkyun raised an eyebrow. “ he had to practice.” 

“ hmmm,, he should’ve woke me up. we could eat breakfast together or something.” he said while sitting up.

“ why are there this many blankets on me?! “ 

changkyun was kind of panicking at that moment cuz he had seen it all before. wonho being cold as fuck and shivering and doing things he, later on, couldn’t remember at all. 

“ h-hyung…? “ he didn’t wanna ask his question. he was too afraid of the answer. the older replied with a lazy hum.

“ did… did you do drugs? “ wonho just sat there and stared at him.

“ you did? you DID? “ changkyun shouted and stood up, ruffling his own hair. “ WHAT THE FUCK HYUNG? do you really wanna go back after having suffered so much? do you wanna die??? “ he kept on shouting.

“ jesus kyun SHUT UP” wonho shouted back while covering his ears with his palms.

“ it’s not like what you think, okay? i didn’t intend on it.” he massaged his temples.

“ and it was just once and i’ve been trying to get it out of my system for a whole week.” 

there were tears running down on changkyun’s face and he couldn’t help them. the thought of hi brother over-dosing again and all the horror coming back just terrified him so much.

“ why the hell are you crying? “ wonho said in an annoyed tone

“ why? do you not see how you’re acting right now? you become this complete asshole when you use drugs.” 

“ well i’m just living up to your expectations then.” he said and got out of bed, walking to the bathroom.

coming out and going to the kitchen, he poured a glass of wine for himself. but he wasn’t able to get a sip as changkyun yanked it out of his hand and smashed it to the sink behind them.

 “ THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? “

“ the fuck do you think YOU’re doing? is this your way of getting it out? drinking on an empty stomach? “

“ for god’s sake! it’s just wine! wine’s not alcohol! “ 

changkyun really wanted to punch him. he wanted to punch him so bad. 

“ what do you think hyungwon hyung will think of this?” 

wonho went silent.

“ fine. “ he put the bottle of wine away and drank a glass of water instead. looking at his little brother again and the state he was at, all the tears and his facial expression he felt regretful for yelling at him. wonho hugged chagnkyun tightly.

“ i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have raised my voice.” 

changkyun hugged him back as he continued to sob.

“ i don’t wanna lose you hyung. please. just please don’t go back to using that stupid stuff. please.” 

“ i won’t. promise.” 

 

 

 

hyungwon came back at 8PM together with shownu. they were all supposed to gather at wonho’s place that night. it was only wonho and kyun there but the two weren’t talking or anything. changkyun was reading a book by the glass wall while wonho was working in his little studio room.

leaning on the doorframe, he greeted a very focused wonho.

“ oh hi” the latter smiled widely upon seeing him and stood up, hugging him tightly.  “ i’ve missed you so much.” 

feeling how he wasn’t shivering or cold anymore, hyungwon was relieved so he hugged back as tight. “ i’ve missed you too.” 

wonho leaned back and look at each part of his face intently with a smile on his face. “ so? did you decide whether to run away or stay yet? “ he paused “ wait, i should probably step back in case you wanna leave or…something.” he blinked a couple of times and let go of the younger so he could take a step back and listen to his answer.

hyungwon chuckled and grabbed his hand, pushing him back in his arms and he hugged him as tight as he could. “ i’m not going anywhere. sorry but you’re not single anymore.” wonho let a breath he didn’t know he was keeping in, get out of his lungs in a long sigh of relief and hugged the younger back. 

“ thanks wonnie, i hope you won’t regret it later.” 

“ well you seemed like you were the one regretting this morning.” 

wonho leaned back and loosened his arms to be able to look at the younger.

 “ what do you mean?!” 

“ you totally ignored me! i wanted to help you get back to bed and you just basically told me to fuck off with body language.” 

“ wha- … “ he couldn’t remember anything. “ i’m sorry. i was just really tired.” 

“ are you feeling better now?” 

“ now? with you close to me, i’ve never felt any better.” he pecked hyungwon’s lips.

“ ewwww that was so cheesy! “ the younger teased him and they both laughed. wonho a bit uneasy with not remembering the fuck he must have done and hyungwon with the fact that he was sure something wasn’t right but neither of them said anything. 

 


	55. Fifty Five

they were all there. all seven of them at wonho’s house. their usual gathering place. wonho never really questioned them as to why they always hanged out in his house and not anyone else’s. he liked having them there though. it was nice to know his friends chose to come to his house. it just felt good.

kihyun brought food from his restaurant as usual and they ate gratefully, loving kihyun’s cooking. everyone else drank. be it bear or wine or the vodka shownu had brought. there were two people who didn’t. wonho and minhyuk. minhyuk kinda didn’t drink much after his drunk sex with jooheon and wonho just didn’t want to. because of his brother and hyungwon. so he just sipped on his cola instead.

the whole night, changkyun didn’t talk to him one word. he could say that the younger was mad at him but he let it pass. he would make things okay once he was completely out of this mess.

wonho was sitting at the corner of the couch with hyungwon in his arms, basically leaning his weight on his chest and playing with his fingers. changkyun at the far end having his head on jooheon’s lap. kihyun and minhyuk sitting in front of the TV playing a game and shownu sitting at the chair by the glass wall, drinking his nth bear.

“ i swear to god hyung. your liver is gonna stop working at this rate. what’s with all the drinking?!” jooheon pointed out

“ what?! i love bear! “

“ anyway, when will you finally tell us about the reason of your disappearance?” shownu asked and wonho grew stiff. clearing his throat and sitting up a bit he said “ nothing important. there was this private thing we had to attend to.” changkyun gave him a death stare before looking back at the game the duo were playing. soon kihyun lost and the two turned around to face them and join the conversation as well but not before minhyuk screamed one of his dolphin screams in victory.

“ even i can say that was a lie won! just say you don’t wanna tell us if you’re not gonna say the truth.” kihyun said sipping on his wine.

“ fine then, i don’t wanna tell you.” he shrugged. kihyun rolled his eyes and huffed.

“ kiiiiiiiii! i’ll tell okay? i just wanna sort out my thoughts first.”he felt how hyungwon looked up at him in surprise but didn’t say anything and put his head on his chest again.

“ so when did you two meet each other there?” jooheon was the one who asked trying to sound nonchalant.

“ huh?!” wonho was confused. he knew the question was for him but he didn’t know what it meant.

“you and min. you were both in Jakarta.” wonho widened his eyes in surprise and turned to min.

“ you were?! “ minhyk grinned widely.

“ yeah! “ he laughed “ i didn’t know you were there though. i even saw you at the airplane. “

“ WHAT?! “ minhyul laughed some more.

“ you where on the phone and then just dozed off a second after that. i hadn’t noticed you either until i heard your voice.” wonho laughed himself as well and hyungwon? well, hyungwon was inwardly happy and relieved that the weird thought that kept swaying around in his mind wasn’t true after all. it wasn’t like he doubted wonho or anything but the thought was there nevertheless. without him noticing, he hugged wonho’s waist and placed a kiss on his clothed pec muscle. wonho was quick to run his fingers in his hair right after and kiss him on the top of his head. they didn’t really notice how everyone was looking at them with a smile on their faces.

 

the others left around 2AM and they were finally able to spend some quiet and alone time together after almost two weeks of separation.

they were lying in bed. wonho with his back against the backrest and hyungwon’s head on his lap, lying on his back and facing him.

“ why are you so quiet tonight?” wonho asked while brushing the younger’s hair out of his eyes.

“ i’m just really tired. “ he wasn’t lying. wonho looked at him in silence. all of him. his eyes. his lips, hair, forehead, everything. he couldn’t believe this beautiful human was now officially his boyfriend.

“ so… you made things up with jooheon?” he asked while drawing invisible patterns with his long fingers on wonho’s clothed stomach.

“ yeah… i can’t stay mad at dimples forever. i just love him too much.”

“ so you forgave him?”

“ there was nothing to forgive. i was just hurt for personal reasons. it was my own fault not his.”hyungwon wanted to say how jooheon was as well guilty in this but he decided not to. he didn’t wanna open the subject again. it was good this way as long as wonho was okay.

they remained silent for a few minutes until wonho spoke up. his voice low and quiet. almost like he didn’t wanna hear his own voice talking.

“ hyungwon “ the younger hummed lazily in reply.

“ i have to tell you something. i actually wanted to not tell anyone about it but i also don’t wanna lie and hide things. especially not from you. “

“ go on. “ hyungwon smiled to reassure him. wonho took a couple of deep breaths before starting to explain what had happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashback

( 8 days ago )

wonho’s concert had ended and he was gonna go back to the hotel when the sponsor caught him off guard and told him to go to the small after-party he was having. he declined at first but the sponsor being one of those rich ceo brats who always knew how to have things their way somehow convinced him and the whole crew to go.

so there he was, tired and tipsy from all the alcohol he had to drink cuz he literally had no other choice if he wanted to keep this sponsor for the rest of his little Thailand tour. he took a mental note not to let the company give this guy a sponsorship ever again. he could handle this mess only once.

these kinds of things happened sometimes. celebrities had to do things they really wouldn’t want to but sometimes they just had to. and this one was one of those situations where there was no escape from. all of his crew were happily dancing and drinking, not really minding anything except for him and jongup. well jongup was the manager so he wasn’t allowed to get drunk so they really didn’t make him drink. but in wonho’s case, he felt like he was drinking all the alcohol there is on earth. his stomach began hurting and he was about to excuse himself after three hours of putting up with this shit but that was when things got really screwed up.

someone came to them, it was a boy but the sponsor didn’t seem to know him at first. he had a tray of drinks in his hands. wonho wanted to throw up at the thought of new drinks but he faked a smile and took the glass he was given to, emptying it in one go without paying attention to what he was really drinking. and it burnt. it burnt and it made his whole body ache and he wasn’t even able to recognize who was who and where he was. he became so dizzy the world was spinning around his head. ‘ this is why i never go to the after-parties. ‘ this was his last thought before everything went black.

he woke up to a bipping sound. opening his eyes he was at a hospital room. again. he sighed deeply. how many times is he gonna wake up in a situation like this? what was it even this time?

upon noticing his open eyes, jongup rushed to his bed.

“ how are you feeling? “

“ like shit. my whole body hurts. what the fuck did they give me?”

“ coca*ne.” wonho’s eyes widened.

“ WHAT?!”

“ the last drink, there was coca*ne in it. the ceo realized it at first sip and tried to stop you from drinking but you had already drank it all. not ten seconds later you passed out. “ wonho was terrified. he was beyond terrified. he had promised hyungwon and his friends not to take drugs ever again.

“ wha… wha.. what about today’s concert?”

“ i was about to call in and cancel it. you can’t perform like this.”

“ NO DON’T “ he yanked his phone out of his hand and canceled the call.

“ what?! wonho, you’re really in no condition to perform.”

“ i am and i will. i don’t wanna make people worry by canceling it. please. let’s just get me discharged.”

jongup knew it was for the best but he was seriously worried about the younger. they did the concert anyway and wonho, despite being in terrible pain, did his best and performed like always.

when the concert finished though, he just collapsed. they had to take his unconscious self back to the hotel room and call an in-door doctor.

the rest of the week went by the same. he would take enormous doses of painkillers and some liquid that was supposed to help him get rid of the toxic inside. during this process, he told jongup how he didn’t want his friends to see him like this. jongup offered to go to Jakarta for a few days as he had a friend there and they could chill while wonho would rid the cocaine out of his system.

that’s how they ended up there. wonho was in great pain for three days as he didn’t take any painkillers either but the fourth day he was feeling a lot better so he told jongup to get tickets to go back. he missed hyungwon to the bone, he couldn’t take it any longer.

 

end of flashback

 

 

 

 

hyungwon listened to everything while looking up at him silently. no expressions on his face. when he was finished he was honestly terrified of hyungwon deciding to leave him because he had broken his promise. he kept looking at everything except for hyungwon’s face. hyungwon sat up, moved on his lap and hugged him, putting his head in the crook of his neck and caressing his black hair softly.

“ thanks for telling me. “

“ yo-you’re not mad at me?” he stuttered

“ why should i be? you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“ i promised you not to do drugs ever again…”

“ would you drink it if you knew what was inside? “

“ of course not.”

“ then you didn’t break your promise.” hyungwon shifted and hugged him closer, smelling the older’s scent.

“ it’s okay. there’s nothing to feel guilty about. everything’s okay. you’re okay.” he kept whispering next to his ear. wonho’s body shivered slightly and he finally hugged the younger back as tight as he could and he buried his head in hyungwon’s neck. before he knew it a few tears had made their way down his cheeks.

“ why are you crying? “ hyungwon kept caressing his hair and rubbed his other hand over his back smoothly while kissing the skin of his neck gently.

“ i was scared you’d leave.” wonho’s voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

“ look at me.” hyungwon leaned back and made wonho lift his head up and look at him in the eye by cupping his face.

“ hey, i’m here to stay. you wouldn’t be able to get rid of me even if you wanted to.” he smiled and wiped the tears away with his sleeve. he leaned in and pecked wonho’s lips. they tasted like tears but he continued placing short closed-mouthed kisses on his boyfriend’s lips repeatedly until he felt wonho relaxing a bit.

wonho swallowed and hugged his neck tightly, burying his head in the scent of hyungwon’s hair, smelling him.

“ thank you. i love you. i love you. i love you so much.” he repeated while nuzzling his head deeper. hyungwon chuckled cuz it felt tickle-ish.

“ i love you too. you’re like a kid like this. “

“ i’m your kid. yours only.”

“ hmmm, my akka-chan.” he smiled feeling his heart as warm as it could ever be with the man he loved the most in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't find a nickname for wonho given to him by hyungwon... bunny is off-limits... any ideas???


	56. Fifty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!!!   
> SHOOT OUT ENGLISH VERSION????? OMFG YAS PLZ!!  
> honestly, i’m proud of StarShip!!  
> AND WEEKLY IDOL? Wonho telling Hyungwon his eyes are beautiful and he needs to stop making his heart flutter? WHAT?! aaaah… my non-existent heartu~ i love these two so much even if it’s all on the screen! ( i love all 7 but my hyungwonho heart aaaaaa !! )

( A few days back )

 

wonho had just dropped hyungwon off at the younger’s place after they came back from the beach and was about to go pack his stuff. his phone rang and it showed Minhyuk’s name on the caller ID. he was hesitant to answer at first but did so anyway.

“ fucking finally! where are you? “

“ why? “

“ we need to talk. “

“ i’m busy min. “

“ i’m busier. i’ll be at your place in 40. “ he hung up.

 

they arrived together at the entrance of the building. walking inside the house in an awkward silence, wonho grabbed two crystal glasses, pouring red wine in them and handing one to minhyuk. the latter was looking out of the glass wall at the view and just stood there drinking.

 

“ why are you avoiding your friends? “ minhyuk suddenly spoke up as he turned around and leaned on the glass behind him.

“ what do you mean avoiding? “ he said calmly after taking a small sip and twirling the liquid around the glass while sitting on a chair by the kitchen counter.

“ i mean “ minhyuk leaned off and walked towards wonho, placing his glass on the coffee table and stopping a couple of steps away from the latter. “ why are you ignoring jooheon’s texts and calls? and why are you not hanging out with the guys as much? “

wonho looked at him but didn’t say anything. minhyuk closed the gap between them in fast but smooth steps and took the glass out of his hand, placing it on the counter. wonho flinched at the action and wanted to stand up and put some distance between them but decided to stay still and not show weakness. this was how it was with them. a battle to see who’ll give in first. it wasn’t always a bad thing, it was so much fun at times but other times it was just exhausting. so the only thing he did was to look away from the person standing in front of him.

 

“ wonho! answer me. didn’t you tell him you’re okay with us being together?”

wonho turned his face back to minhyuk, watching him intently.

“ i did and i am.”

“ then why on earth are you avoiding him? he’s devastated.”

wonho chuckled sarcastically. “ devastated? he didn’t seem devastated when he decided to sleep with you while we were together.”

“ what? “ minhyuk seemed really surprised. “ are you… are you still blaming him for that?”

“ am i not allowed to? “

“ wonho i thought we talked about this. and you didn’t seem to have much against him before, well, apart from the big fight you guys had after we broke up… but why are you bringing it up again now?” minhyuk was talking with much hesitation as he didn’t know what was really going on in wonho’s head. the older sighed deeply, looking down before looking at minhyuk again.

“ the fact that i don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t eat me up all the time. min, i’m really exhausted right now. i’ll call him later some time. right now, i have bigger problems to deal with.”

“ problems? so jooheon is a problem now? or is it me? then you should have talked about it when it was time except for holding it in.”

“ same goes to you though. you could have talked instead of letting it rile up and ending up sleeping with my best friend.” wonho said with a harsh tone a little louder. his gaze was intimidating but he seemed calm as well. minhyuk seemed taken aback by the sudden outburst. he spent a few seconds staring at the man in front of him with his mouth slightly open. the latter broke their eye contact and looked around the place and let his eyes stay on the book hyungwon had left on the corner of the counter.

“ you’re not wrong. but now it’s all in the past and we have agreed to not bring it up again. “

“ oh we did and i wasn’t the one who started this conversation.”

“ no but you are the one who stopped talking to joo. “ minhyuk said a bit loud. wonho didn’t even flinch, he just kept his intense gaze on him.

“ look, i know it must be hard to see us together and stuff but you have your own person now. let’s just leave it all in the past and move on. we’re all friends. you shouldn’t ignore your friend like that. you know how sensitive he is towards you.” wonho licked his lip and narrowed his eyes.

“ friends, yeah. i’ll call him later min. promise. can you leave now?”

“ do you hate me that much you can’t even stand me for two minutes? do you even have the right to?”

“ i don’t hate you. i’m just really tired and there is no point in this conversation. you did what you did and yes i don’t have the right cuz as you said i should have been there and that is what i believe as well. i should’ve been there although it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that you two were attracted to each other. don’t think i didn’t notice that.”

“ what’s that supposed to mean?”wonho shrugged.

“ it’s not supposed to mean anything. i’m gonna take a shower now. you can stay but no more talking about this. i’ll call him when i wanna call him.”

 

when wonho came out of the shower minhyuk had left. the fact that he had let the last words slip out of his mouth made him want to punch himself in the face real hard. he never mentioned noticing the little flirtings and the looks they sometimes threw at each other ever. when they were together he didn’t think of it as anything he should be cautious about. for him it was just the typical super touchy-flirty minhyuk-jooheon thingie but after finding out about them sleeping together, everything had clicked in his mind. the fact that his boyfriend and his best friend were secretly attracted to each other.

he never doubted minhyuk’s love for himself though. he knew the latter loved him madly but minhyuk was the kind of person who could love more than one at a time even though he himself hadn’t noticed his attraction towards jooheon. he was the literal sunshine, he simply had too much love within him to shower people with. basically, wonho had always known about jooheon’s crush over minhyuk. from the very start when they first kissed each other in front of him and he noticed the look on his best friend’s face. and in the last year of their relationship, he noticed how the two would spend so much time together while he wasn’t around or where just touchier than before even with him around. but he just shrugged it off, thinking it was good that the two had each other’s company, that joo was there to take care of min while he was away.

and that’s why it hurt so much. he trusted them with all he had. sure their group of friends kept insisting on the alcohol, putting all the blame on the poor liquid but he knew they knew better. there is always the thought first and the alcohol just gives you the bravery to do it.

 

but on the other hand, he had just confessed the night before. he had confessed to the most beautiful human in the whole world. one that he loved with every cell in his body. he wasn’t lying when he told hyungwon he made him feel things even minhyuk hadn’t been able to evoke in him. he knew with hyungwon, it was like they were really meant to be. he didn’t believe in such things, but with the pink-haired beauty, it was like they were the mythical soulmates.

that’s why he decided to take the next step. he decided to really leave it all in the past and focus on hyungwon with all he had. the hurt, the fights, his past relationship with minhyuk, the way his heart ached overtime he thought about jooheon, he decided to let it all go.

he loved jooheon so much. they had grown up for most of the years together. the latter had always stood by him when they were kids and was rather shy. joo would yell at kids who were bullying him as he used to have no muscles and was a really small kid compared to jooheon. he remembered this one time he was wearing a pair of shoes that was so destroyed an used, they had torn apart while he was running around and he fell to the ground in front of three of their school bullies. he was 9 at the time. he looked up feeling ashamed of his torn shoes lying on the ground and his wounded knee. he saw their eyes on him, the way they mocked him and laughed at him cuz he was poor and his shoes had just given out. he remembered how joo appeared out of nowhere and stood in front of him, yelling at the three kids to leave him alone. joo was a year younger than him but it almost felt like he was the older with the way he took his hand and helped him stand up and cleaned his wound with his small hands, telling him he shouldn’t pay attention to those brats. wonho remembered how he smiled in between the endless tears running down his cheeks.

 

and then when the high school came around and they met again, they clicked just as fast. he wasn’t the small kid anymore. he was young but he had muscles no-one else at their school had. he didn’t wanna be weak anymore. he didn’t want people to be able to laugh at him because he was poor or he didn’t have a father or whatever so he built an appearance that would scare people off although in his heart he was still the soft kid he always had been. that’s why people didn’t get how he could easily break into tears with that mass of angry muscles. and it was his turn to take care of joo when the bullies were attacking him for being gay. he had walked past them, throwing them across the hall and kissed jooheon in front of them saying “ he is my boy. whoever has any problems with that will have to face me.” he knew taekwondo so no-one really dared to mess with jooheon after that. of course they never talked about that kiss as they both knew it didn’t mean anything.

it was an endless queue of memories like this that couldn’t stop him from missing and loving jooheon. he picked up his phone and texted his best friend.

“ yo dimples. wanna grab a bite? “ and like that, it was okay between them. none of them talked about the issue or wonho ignoring him for a while. they just focused on spending a good time while eating their meal together as if nothing had happened in the first place.


	57. Fifty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERSACE ON THE FLOOR BY OT7???? I CAN DIE HAPPILY NOW! ( although i'm pissed off hyungwon didn't have a SINGLE line... ) they have surpassed legends, they are GODS! 

wonho was a moaning mess. his hand was gripping a fistful of hyungwon’s hair who was in between his legs, sucking him dry. and it didn’t take him much longer to release himself in the beautiful mouth of his boyfriend.

“ wow… what was that about? “ he asked while panting and trying to get down from his high. his body was still on fire. hyungwon crawled back up and hovered over him. he leaned down and kissed him deep and passionately.

“ i just wanted to surprise you.” he was 100% successful! wonho had woken up to the feeling of hyungwon’s gorgeous tongue around his groin. he smiled widely

“ did you like it? “ hyungwon asked while tracing his muscle lines with the tip of his fingers.

“ i loved it. i love you.” he pecked his boyfriend’s plump lips and turned them around to switch their position. hyungwon was taken aback at the sudden action.

“ geez, you should always be on top, huh? “wonho grinned and buried his face in the crook of hyungwon’s neck, kissing and smelling his scent.

“ what if i wanted to top for a change?” it was so sudden that wonho didn’t know when he had taken his head away from the gorgeous neck and was looking at the younger in disbelief.

“ you? you wanna top?! “he asked as he looked into the latter’s eyes thoroughly.

“ yeah, why not! you won’t let me? “ wonho snorted and went back to devouring the neck he was already missing. hyungwon made him look back up again.

“ i’m serious though. i wanna top. i’m tired of bottoming. you should let me if you love me.”wonho pressed his lips together.

“ you’re a bottom hyungwon. you don’t have a single top bone in your body! “ hyungwon frowned and pouted.

“ well maybe i do! we won’t know until we try! WHY won’t you LET me? “ he pinched wonho’s bicep and slapped it after.

“ ouch “ the latter winced and then smirked, looking down at him with naughty eyes.

“ sure, you’re the top. wanna do it now? let’s get to it right away. “ he said and turned them around again so that hyungwon was on top again.

hyungwon’s lips parted and he looked at him in silence with eyes as wide as they could get.

“ y-y-you’ll let me top?! i was just kidding! oh god!! “ he said and sat up on the older’s lap, holding onto his heart dramatically. wonho burst out laughing and sat up himself as well, holding onto hyungwon’s waist so that he wouldn’t slip off of his lap.

“ you’re a terrible actor kitten. or i’m just too good at reading you. either way, you should know that you can never fool me.” he winked and went for a deep and heated kiss that lasted for several minutes until the doorbell rang. he ignored it but when it repeated he groaned and let hyungwon get off of him. he put the black silk robe on and went to get the door, closing the bedroom door in case anyone felt the need to look inside.

 

“ jesus wonho. why are you NOT ready? we are already late!” a very frustrated jongup appeared.

“ what?! i don’t have anything for the morning.”

“ yes you do genius. you have to be at music bank in 30 minutes!there’s no time left. just take a quick shower, get dressed and let’s go. HURRY! “

“ what? why?! i’m performing? why was i not informed about this? “

“ i texted you last night!! you’re the special MC. now QUICK for the love of god!”

“ i don’t believe that much in god though! “

“ WONHO I SWEAR TO G- JUST HURRY THE FUCK UP.” wonho laughed out loud and ran to his bedroom to take a shower.

hyungwon was already in there which did not doing things fast any easier. it didn’t matter that they had been dating for over 7 months now, he could never get enough of hyungwon. seeing him naked under the shower? how could he not get hard? but right now he really needed to be fast so he just washed himself in 3 minutes, placed a closed-mouthed kiss on hyungwon’s lips cupping his face and ran out of the bathroom almost falling on his face.

 

 

 

 

hyungwon had gotten used to it by now. they had been dating for seven months. he had gotten used to wonho running around or suddenly leaving. it didn’t matter if it was day or night or where they were, if he got a call, he had to go. he wasn’t complaining though. sure it would be better if they could spend more time together but he loved it the way it was as well. he could tell how much effort wonho was putting into this. the older would come home or go to the dance school every chance he got. hyungwon himself visited him rapidly at the company, bringing a cup of coffee or having lunch with him. it was funny how wonho had always nagged him about not eating properly but as soon as he had started working, he was the one who would ‘forget’ his meals.

he had been away on asia and america tours during the time they had been together and it had been harder than hyungwon had imagined. they would video call everyday, wonho would text him every break he got or he would buy him things from there but it wasn’t like when they were close. some nights he found himself wearing wonho’s hoodies and smelling his scent on them while trying to sleep. he knew the latter had it difficult too. he didn’t let it show but it was obvious. he could see the guilt he felt for leaving hyungwon in his eyes. it was like it was written on his forehead.

hyungwon himself was pretty busy. he was an official member of shownu’s crew now and they would perform for many shows. they had even been backup dancers for a couple of female singers. some nights they were both so tired, they would only greet each other with a smile and go to sleep while cuddling without saying a word.

fortunately, they had been able to hide from the paparazzi till now. no-one had gotten to know about their relationship yet though the joohyuk relationship had already become public. but it was because they weren’t hiding anyway. the fans were furious at first but they had forgotten about their existence soon after.

it’s not like they were really hiding or they didn’t want anyone to know, if anything wonho had told him he wanted to post a selfie of them together countless times, but he just wanted to keep it quiet as long as they could. he was secretly so scared of the reaction they would get that he wasn’t sure if he ever wanted their relationship to be public. what if there would be too many hate comments? wonho was a sensitive soul, he didn’t wanna see the other man upset. sure he would say it didn’t matter if someone didn’t like his body or hair color or the fact that he was gay or whatever, he knew the older would get hurt deep down. any human would.

 

walking out of the shower, he stood in front of the big mirror in the living room half naked, looking at the bruise he got on his left ribs. he had successfully hidden it from wonho. it was a busy time for him and he knew he would panic if he saw this and would want to cancel everything for the next two years to just stay home and take care of him until every cell of his body was healthy. and he didn’t want that to happen so he had refused to undress the night before when they were going to bed. luckily, wonho had been in such a hurry in the morning that he hadn’t noticed it. running his hands on the big dark purple bruise, he hissed in pain. he deserved a fucking oscar for hiding the pain when wonho had grabbed his waist in the morning and the older had the audacity to say he couldn’t fool him! please!

wonho had asked him to move in in the first week of their relationship and he had agreed to cuz he had been already practically living there. hyungwon walked back to the bedroom and into the clothing room, looking at a shirt with smooth material cuz his skin was really sensitive at his current estate. picking up something and wearing it, he walked out to go to practice.

 

 

 

wonho had just finished recording when he checked his phone. 14 missed calls from shownu. shownu was not someone who would call you more than once.

“ are you free or do you have schedules?“ was the first thing the older had said as soon as he had picked up wonho’s call.

“ i’m free now. what’s going on? “

“ come to the hospital near school dance. hyungwon’s not feeling good.”

wonho’s heart fell to the ground and he didn’t realise when he started running. he ran past the many rookies and other celebrities who were greeting him, not really able to notice them as all he could think about was hyungwon. hyungwon was in the hospital and he wasn’t there with him. it all felt too familiar and he was scared.

 

 


	58. Fifty Eight

“ why did you call him hyung! i told you not to. he’s busy in the evening. it’s not like i’m dying! it’s just a bruise! “ hyungwon was constantly nagging at shownu for calling his boyfriend. though the latter didn’t seem apologetic at all.

 

he had gone to the school dance in the morning, thinking he could be just fine as he had been able to handle the pain pretty well. but not after a few minutes of warming up, he felt the pain becoming worse and he excused himself. luck was not on his side as shownu had walked in the changing room as soon as he had taken his shirt off and had seen the angry big purple area on his skin. he then had accompanied him to the hospital despite hyungwon’s protests. 

 

“ he has the right to know. you know him. i don’t wanna watch him get sulky for a year for not telling him. besides, he will kill us both if he found out about it later. you just haven’t seen him angry yet. “ shownu replied calmly. what was there to be afraid of anyway? wonho was a soft fluff ball. ‘ unless he is under the influence of drugs or too much alcohol. then he is either fucking scary or too annoying and sarcastic.’ the thought crossed hyungwon’s mind as he remembered the amount of grumpiness they had to endure the first three weeks back at the hospital while the drugs were getting out of the older’s system. it was hell. 

the door opened harshly as a panting wonho came running in eyeing him from head to toe with wide eyes. hyungwon was sitting on the bed, reading a book with shownu on the couch across the room.

 

“ what’s wrong? you were okay this morning. “ he asked, too afraid to even touch hyungwon as if it would hurt the younger if he did. the latter chuckled and took his boyfriend’s hand in his and squeezed it a bit.

“ i’m fine shin! hyung just made a big fuss out of it. how was the show? “ 

“ don’t ‘shin’ me chae. i’m not in the mood for it. now spill. what happened? where does it hurt? “ his tone was serious but the worry was pouring out of his eyes. even though hyungwon was sitting there like he was totally fine, seeing him in hospital clothes clenched his heart.

 

“ i had a minor accident yesterday. i didn’t think it was serious but today it just grew more painful so i came here to check it up. they said it’s just a spring on of the ribs and i should be careful for two weeks. it’s really nothing serious. “ he said and laughed shortly and rubbed his ear, looking down at their hands.

 

“ when did this happen? “ wonho asked after a few seconds of silence with narrowed eyes.

“ i told you. yesterday.” 

“ when exactly?” 

“ um… around noon? “ hyungwon looked into wonho’s eyes without blinking.

“ where? “ he asked without any emotion shown in his tone. his hand merely holding hyungwon’s.

“ at the alley next to the school.” 

“ what kind of accident was it? “ 

“ a car accident. “

“ a car? in the alley? “

“  i know, right? i wasn’t expecting it either and then boom, a car appeared and i managed to jump to the corner just in time or else i’d be crushed. but i did and i’m alive now.” hyungwon laughed a bit again. wonho chuckled with his eyes glued to him. he let go of hyungwon’s hand and grabbed the safety rail of the bed.

“ one more question. “ he looked back at hyungwon’s eyes.

“ why are you lying?” his eyes were dark and intense. hyungwon almost found it hard to keep the eye contact but he knew better than to let it show.

“ i’m not! why should i lie about a small bruise? “

“ i don’t know. you’re the one who’s lying, so you tell me.” wonho shrugged and looked at his coldly. hyungwon didn’t like the look at all. it was like the other didn’t have any feeling for him ever.

“ i’m not lying baby. i swea-“ he wasn’t able to finish his word cuz wonho left the room. just like that, he just left. hyungwon would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt. now that the older was here, he wanted him to stay by his side and not leave him without any word like that after looking at him with such a cold gaze.

shownu sighed deeply as he stood up and pushed his phone in his pocket. 

“ i told you you haven’t seen him angry yet. i’ll go talk to him.” 

 

 

shownu left the room and looked around for wonho. the latter was talking to a doctor. he walked over to them.

“ so it’s really just a spring? “ 

“ yes mr. shin. it’s really nothing crucial.” 

“ can you say what was the cause of it though? “

“ it seems like it was caused by a hit. actually, i asked him if he was attacked by someone but he said he had an accident. “ 

“ so you think he was beaten?! “ 

“ i can’t say for sure. it could also be caused by the accident but from my experience, it looks more like a hit. “ 

wonho gritted his teeth. he turned around furiously to head back to the room when shownu stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“ let go.” he demanded.

“ calm down won! why are you so worked up? “ 

“ because he’s lying. he’s lying to my fucking face.” 

“ how do you know he’s lying?! maybe he’s telling the truth.” 

“ i know him! the nervous laughing, rubbing his ear, looking down, not blinking, rambling on and on? he’s lying. i’m sure about it.” 

“ okay, maybe you’re right. maybe he is lying. but calm down, would you? he may not show it but he IS in pain. they had to give him morphine. “ wonho inhaled roughly.

“ i know you absolutely hate it when people lie, but try to calm down before going back inside. “ 

“ he’s not people though. he is hyungwon. he isn’t supposed to be lying to me. he’s supposed to trust me enough to be honest with me.” his body tension decreased a bit and shownu let go of him. they both sat on the chairs.

“ if you’re right and he’s lying, then he must have a reason. i’ll head back to the room. cool down and come back and ask him nicely. you won’t get it out of him with your cold scary gaze.” 

“ what cold scary gaze!?” 

“ exactly that one. “ shownu pointed at his eyes and grinned before standing up. “ look in the mirror and you’ll know what i mean.” 

 

 

around 10 minutes later, the door opened, gently this time and wonho came in with three cups of starbucks in his hand.

he handed shownu one “ hyung, you can go back now. i’ll be staying here.” 

“ alright. fill me in if anything happens.” he bid goodbye to hyungwon and left.

“ here. the doctor said no caffeine so i got you cocktail.” 

“ thanks. “ hyungwon took the cup slowly.

“ i’m sorry. i just…” he looked at the cup in his own hand and played with the straw “ why are you not telling me the truth hyungwon?” looking back up, he saw hyungwon biting on the corner of his lips harshly. it looked painful with the way it changed the color of his lips. wonho placed his cup on the table beside the bed and took the other one from hyungwon’s hand, doing the same. hyungwon didn’t reply, nor did he stop abusing his lips. wonho put his thumb on the spot he was chewing and applied a little pressure so that he had to stop chewing. “ stop. you’ll make it bleed.” hyungwon looked in his eyes as his eyes started becoming teary. upon seeing that, wonho panicked inwardly and sat on the bed, getting closer and hugging the younger carefully, not to cause him any pain. 

hyungwon circled his arms around wonho and the older could feel how a few tears made his shirt wet.

“ i’m scared.” wonho felt his soul leave his body when he heard the shaky voice of his beautiful boyfriend speak those words. what was he scared of? what had really happened? he decided to let hyungwon cry for a bit in order to calm down before he’d ask about it. he would skin anyone or anything that was the cause of his precious hyungwon’s pain.


	59. Fifty Nine

( 6 months ago ) 

 

the sound of digits being entered on the lock echoed through the silence of the house. the front door opened and a figure came in. hyungwon was lying on the sofa on his stomach, facing the hallway that lead to the entrance. he opened his eyes briefly but closed them again as he had no energy to keep them wide whatsoever.

by the sofa, was several soju bottles on the ground in a messy order. there was a book that had been clearly tossed across the room as it was on the ground with a few of it’s pages ripped off. and then there was a notebook and a pen by the pink-haired man’s hand that was dangling from the sofa.

wonho made his way to the younger as he eyed the whole situation. it was obvious that hyungwon had drunk way more than his limit. the singer had been away for 5days on a schedule overseas and he could tell that hyungwon was not feeling very well from the video calls they had. he would end conversations soon, saying he needed to go back to practice or he was sleepy or such. he knew they were all excuses but there was nothing he could do from afar so he had decided to wait until he came back.

brushing the younger’s hair out of his face, wonho put the dangling hand on the sofa gently and looked at his boyfriend for a few seconds. he stood up and went to where the poor book was. picking it up while a few more pages fell to the ground, he read the cover. ‘ if only by lili smith ‘ it was lili’s book. the one himchan had gave him. wonho gathered all the torn pages from the ground and put the whole thing on the small shelf on the wall beside the TV. he went back to the sofa and sat down, leaning his back on it. he picked the notebook up, hesitating for a second whether or not to look inside but he decided to take a quick look and if it was something personal, he would close it.

he didn’t expect what was inside to be that breathtakingly sad and beautiful. it was a poem. and it was in hyungwon’s handwriting. it was the notebook that hyungwon used when he wanted to write a few lines of a poem. wonho sat there and read it several times. the words were really sad and he knew what he wanted to do with it.

 

 

hyungwon woke up in bed, covered by the fluffy blanket and no clothes on except for his briefs. he had a terrible headache and with every inch of movement, it would only get 10 times worse. he groaned and slowly lied back again. not long after the bedroom door opened and wonho came in, sitting on the bedside. 

the younger moved his arm from his face to look at the man in front of him, only to realize he wasn’t even able to keep his eyes open cuz the light hurt like a bitch. he hated light at that moment. ‘ remember how you judged your sister for the same thing? ‘ he covered his face again and whined in pain.

“ baby, what have you done to yourself “ he heard the kind voice of his boyfriend say.

“ i’m gonna help you sit up so you can drink this thing and take a painkiller, okay? “

“ close the curtains first. “ hyungwon muttered from under his arm.

wonho looked at all the light that was coming through the big windows and looked back at hyungwon. sighing, he stood up and closed everything and made sure there was not one single ray of light anywhere. the room was nearly covered in darkness, only the light from the living room that came in through the half-open bedroom door lightning the place a bit.

“ it’s done. let’s sit up.” wonho was careful with hyungwon as he helped him sit really slowly and even with that pace the younger winced in pain and held on to his head. he wanted to ask why he had done this but he knew that every sound was too loud to the latter’s ears now so he kept quiet.

after taking the pill and everything, he put him back to bed and covered him up and left the room. he closed the door for the room to be covered in total darkness.

 

three hours later, while he was working on some music the door to his little studio room opened and showed the lazy and sleepy form of his boyfriend in a big grey hoodie that covered until his mid-thigh. he was rubbing his eye with the paws that the long sleeves had made. in all honesty, it was one of the most adorable things he had ever witnessed. 

“ why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?”  the younger asked with a hoarse voice. wonho smiled and stood up, and took hyungwon into his embrace.

“ i called. you didn’t pick up.” the latter hummed while still rubbing his eye. wonho chuckled and grabbed the hand that was abusing the beautiful eye.

“ stop, you’ll make yourself blind.” hyungwon pouted and hid himself in wonho’s hug again. 

“ i missed you. “ his voice was as sleepy as it could get despite the fact that he had slept 17 hours straight.

“ i missed you too pinkwonnie. “ he kissed his forehead and caressed the soft silky hair, enjoying the mixture he had missed dearly.

“ what do you wanna eat? “

“ shrimp.” 

“ you and your shrimp! “ he laughed shortly as he cupped hyungwon’s face, making him get out of his hiding place ( which was his own crook of neck ) and squeezed his cheeks. it made the pouty plump lips become even bigger and hyungwon frowned and whined in annoyance. 

“ wanna take a shower while i order every kind of shrimp there is? “ 

hyungwon nodded and it made wonho laugh again with how his cheeks became puffy at the action. he pecked the younger’s lips and let go of his face, smiling widely.

“ ok then, go freshen up and i’ll go get my prince’s beloved meal. “ 

“ why not order by phone?” 

“ i’m gonna go to the place you love the most. they don’t have delivery.” placing one last kiss on the gorgeous lips, he picked his car-keys and left, after he saw hyungwon entering the bathroom.

 

 

 

he had given him painkillers, food and had let him sleep enough and he was now going to start getting info out of his boyfriend who was standing by the glass wall, looking outside. 

“ wonnie “ wonho made his way to the latter and back-hugged him, kissing his neck softly.  “ wanna talk about what’s bothering you so much? “  there was no answer as the younger just sipped on the coffee in his hand. wonho let go of him and turned him around gently. hyungwon was sad, very sad and it made him look vulnerable. it made wonho feel like if he wasn’t gentle and careful enough he would break him unintentionally.

“ babe, what’s wrong? you can tell me.” he cupped hyungwon’s face and looked into his eyes. 

 

 

hyungwon placed his cup on the table nearby and hugged wonho tightly, resting his head on the elder's shoulder. he felt like someone was clenching his heart in a tight fist, applying as much pressure as possible. he let a shaky breath out as tears started to gather in his eyes.

“ mom and dad came. “ his voice was so low wonho had barely been able to hear it. it was the first time he had heard of the latter’s parents. he had never mentioned them really and wonho figured it’s best not to ask. he had asked something back at the hospital but he was left unanswered so he never tried again. the only thing he could do was to tighten his arms around his boyfriend to ensure him everything was going to be okay.

“ i haven’t really had the courage to tell them about… about lili. they didn’t know. apparently, yongguk had told them and they came here all furious. they said i didn’t take good care of her. that i should’ve been more careful, more alert. mom cried for hours and dad just kept giving me disappointed looks. “ hyungwon buried his face in wonho’s neck, grabbing a fistful of the older’s shirt tightly.

“ i know it wasn’t my fault. i did everything i could, i tried everything i had learned. if only… if only she had stayed, maybe something would work somehow. if-“ 

“ shshshsh,,, babe, she was under treatment her entire life. if she was to get better, she should have by then. let’s sit down.” he sat both of them down on the floor as he took hyungwon’s hands in his, kissing them a few times.

“ why didn’t you tell them sooner? it would’ve been better if they heard it from you.” 

“ i wanted to but then i thought maybe some news on her will come up. i thought someday she’ll come back. i wanted to save them the worry and pain.” wonho caressed the soft cheeks with his thumb as he looked at his boyfriend with sad eyes. 

“ they said what they said because they were sad, you know that right? i’m sure it’s not what they really think. i’m sure they love you and don’t really blame you for this.” 

hyungwon looked back into wonho’s eyes with such desperation. it was like he was trying his best to believe the older’s words.

“ i’m sure of it hyungwonnie. let’s just give them some time, okay? i’m sure they’ll come around.” a couple of more tears rolled down which wonho wiped away quickly and hyungwon nodded.

“ hey i…… i kinda looked at the poem you wrote. it’s … it’s really beautiful. sad, but beautiful.” 

hyungwon kept playing with his sleeves and looking down while listening.

“ will you let me use it for a song? i have this back-track that goes really well with it and-“ 

“ you wanna use my poem as lyrics for your song?” hyungwon looked up at him with wide eyes, looking like an innocent child. wonho hummed. 

“ why? “ 

“ because it’s really good. all of your poems are beautiful and i don’t know why you refuse to actually publish them but if you let me, i wanna use this one. it really deserves to be heard.” 

“ i … i wrote it for lili. “ hyungwon looked back down. “ you can use it hyung. i’m glad you liked it this much. ” he smiled for the first time since wonho had come back. 

 

 

about a week later, hyungwon’s parents came back. at first, they had thought hyungwon had just changed his apartment. but then after many hugs and kisses and apologies for blaming hyungwon and having said such things, the younger had introduced them to wonho.

to their surprise, they already knew wonho and were actually a little bit of a fan of him. wonho didn’t know whether he should be shy or proud so he just thanked them repeatedly. that night, after they left, wonho was able to see the first genuine smile on his beloved boyfriend’s face in almost two weeks and he couldn’t be happier.

 

“ wonnie, could you come here please? “ he called the latter from his studio room. hyungwon appeared with two bowls of ice-cream in his hands and a spoon dangling by his lips. 

“ but why bringing one spoon?! “ wonho asked as he saw it.

“ i’ll feed you while you work.” wonho kept staring at him in awe. he just wanted to hug and squeeze the hell out of him.

hyungwon brought the spoon near his mouth saying ‘ aaaa ‘ 

wonho grinned and opened his mouth. 

“ i had to change it a bit here and there to fit the song but i tired not to change it too much. anyway, listen and tell me what you think. “ he took the spoon from hyungwon’s hand and placed the headphones on his ears and the song began. when it finished, hyungwon could only say one sentence ' i love it ' before pulling wonho in a passionate kiss that tasted much like the cherry vanilla ice-cream.

 

 

 

 

> _‘ as soon as you talked about the end,_ _i_ _am still frozen in that time_
> 
> _the reason for my living was to cover my breath, it raises up to_ _my_ _chin_
> 
> _stay here, stay here_
> 
> _the words that_ _i_ _could not reach to_
> 
> _stay here, stay here_
> 
> _disappearing like a flood_
> 
> _are you there? are you there?_
> 
> _i_ _who am waiting for you_
> 
> _you’re my one, you’re my world, save me_
> 
> _get me out,_ _i’m_ _underwater, I’m all alone, cold_
> 
> _save me, still underwater, extend your hand, give me your breath_
> 
> _stay here, stay here_
> 
> _until you return_
> 
> _stay here, stay here_
> 
> _i’m_ _trying my best_
> 
> _are you there? are you there? the light’s disappearing_
> 
> _you’r_ _my one, you’re my world, save me_
> 
> _even if time passes, even if it’s forever,_ _i_ _can’t erase you_
> 
> _if you are still there even after the end_
> 
> _if you could save me, help me out ‘_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lyrics are from Monsta X- Underwater. the song is a bop, make sure to listen to it :)  
> i basically wrote this whole chapter for this song! This song is too good to be true! aaaaah~


	60. Sixty

  { ji-eun aka IU } 

 

 

 

**MX squad**

 

WhaleMin: tokki, how is hyungwon?

 

WonHo: better. he was in so much pain last night.

 

Ki.HamD: anything on the one who did this?

 

WonHo: jongup checked the CCTV. 

WonHo: they’re searching for him.

WonHo: i’m gonna kill the guy.

 

ShoBearNu: chill!

 

kkukkung: i’ll help you.

 

Ki.HamD: changkyun! 

 

WonHo: the CCTV footage was insane.

WonHo: the fucker just shoved him to the wall.

WonHo: won was lucky he didn’t hit his head, cuz if he did, with the force that maniac used …..

 

 

JHoney: yo man where the fuck are you! the ceo is going nuts. you are supposed to be here for the company show.

 

WonHo: seriously joo?! 

 

JHoney: yes seriously! get your ass here. and where is jongup?!

 

WonHo: he is at the police station.

WonHo: and i won’t leave won.

WonHo: so the ceo can go fuck himself.

 

ShoBearNu: i’m here as well and the man is really pissed.

ShoBearNu: he will scold you ‘bad’ later if you really don’t show up.

 

WonHo: he could fire me and i wouldn’t care.

WonHo: do you guys really not see what the situation is right now?!

 

Ki.HamD: we see won.

Ki.HamD: kyun, are you free rn?

 

kkukkung: no, i’m actually texting in class.

 

WhaleMin: tokki, i’ll head to the hospital now.

WhaleMin: you get ready to leave for that schedule you have.

WhaleMin: i’ll be with hyungwon while you’re out.

 

WonHo: you have your whole company to manage.

WonHo: it’s fine. i’ll deal with the consequences later.

WonHo: i don’t wanna leave him.

 

 

***********

 

“ i’m scared. “ the three words kept ringing in his ears as he held hyungwon in his arms and let him shed as many tears as he wanted. after a couple of minutes, he felt the sobs getting weaker as they eventually turned into only heavy breaths. 

wonho stroked over the pink silky hair in his embrace as he started talking in a soft low voice. 

“ what are you scared of wonnie? would you tell me what happened? “ he wanted to lean back to look at hyungwon but the latter tightened his grip, he decided hyungwon wanted the closeness so he stayed still.

“ promise me you won’t do anything out of anger.” wonho was hesitant and confused but he nodded anyway.  “ promise “ he whispered and placed a kiss on top of hyungwon’s hair.

“ yesterday when i came to the company and we went to the cafeteria, we were holding hands, remember?” wonho hummed, continuing his caressing over the younger’s hair and back.

“ when i left you to go back to the school, this guy ran after me in the alley next to the company building. at first i though he wanted to mug me or something but then he pushed me against the wall really harshly. and you know how i have little to no body strength….so i got hit to the wall and then when i was hitting the ground, there was this abandoned table that i landed on and that’s why i have this bruise now. “ 

wonho was both angry and confused. he wanted to kill the guy, whoever he was for doing this. “ but why did he do that if he didn’t want your money? “ hyungwon’s hands tightened more around him as he gripped his shirt in his fists. 

“ he was one of your fans hyung. after i hit the ground, he grabbed me by the collar and told me to stay away from you. apparently, he had seen us holding hands and threatened me. he said if i didn’t get away from you, he’d kill me cause you were his and not anybody else’s.” wonho froze. hyungwon was hit by a man. hyungwon was hurt by a man that claimed to be his fan. that meant, his lover was hurt because of him.

he felt how his blood started boiling and anger rose more and more at each passing second. he was beyond frustrated. he wanted to punch to death, both the guy and himself. here he was, loving yet another fragile person, hyungwon being even more fragile than minhyuk, and he was the cause of pain to his lover. again. he wanted to cry but he figured he didn’t even have the right to. he wanted to hold hyungwon closer and say how sorry he was but he felt like he didn’t have the right to. at that moment, all he could feel was that it was his fault for ever making the boy fall for him. 

 

“ but that’s not what i’m scared of.” hyungwon’s voice brought him back to his senses, saved him from the darkness that was drowning him. a few more seconds and he would leave the boy he loved alone and he would disappear to some unknown land so that the boy could be safe without being dragged into his dramatic problematic life. 

“ i’m scared for you hyung. this person was insane. he said,,, he said if i didn’t let go, and if he couldn’t have you, no-one could. i’m scared he’ll do something to you.” hyungwon’s slim body was visibly shivering. be it in fear or pain or lack of energy. wonho bit on his bottom lip hard enough to break the skin and taste the blood in his mouth. he couldn’t say anything, he just sat there silently, with hyungwon still in his arms, only his hands weren't moving in soothing patterns anymore.  

 

he watched as his boyfriend drifted off to sleep. walking out of the room, he called jongup and told him about everything. 

“ i think the management has access to the CCTVs around the building. i’m gonna go check them. please don’t do anything stupid.” 

sitting on the benches outside of the hospital in the yard, he leaned his head back on the wall behind and stared at the sky. a few people eyed him but he didn’t pay any attention. he was just thinking what he should do. he was thinking how stupid and heartless of him it was to even consider leaving the sweet dancer just because he didn’t wanna feel guilt. it had been for a mere 30 seconds or even less but the thought should have never even crossed his mind nevertheless.

‘ always feeling pity for yourself just like your mother ‘ the voices in his head began again, full force after such a long time of being silent. ‘ you know he doesn’t deserve someone like you, right? ‘ he shut his eyes tightly. ‘ you will ruin his life, just like you did with minhyuk ‘ but minhyuk was okay now with jooheon. he tried to convince the voices. ‘ he will leave you eventually, how long do you think he’ll put up with your stupid lifestyle? ‘ he bit harder on his lower lip. ‘ you’re a nothing, a no-one that constantly cause pain and discomfort to people close to you. ‘ he buried his nails in his thighs roughly. ‘ you don’t deserve any of this. ‘ he groaned and put his hands on his ears, bending down and moving his body back and forth in order to shut the voices up. it had been such a long time since the last time he had heard them, they had been silent ever since he had moved out of mr. shin’s house. but it wasn’t working. they kept repeating themselves. wonho knew only one way to make them go away. pain. he stood up and ran to some corner no-one else was at and began punching the wall. he punched and punched countless times until there was no strength left in his body. as his body was about to give out, he put his palms flat against the wall while panting. he turned around and just slid down the wall with blood running down on his fingers. ‘ great, now you’ll make hyungwon panic over your childish act. how do you think he’ll respond to your wounded knuckles? ‘ it should’ve worked. the pain should’ve shut down the damn voice but it didn’t. it was just one now, not as chaotic as before but it was still there. wonho yelled out in both pain and desperation as he held onto his ears again. ‘ please leave me alone. go away. i don’t want you back.’ he kept repeating it, begging it in his head and eventually it did. he didn’t know how much time had passed but he had finally managed to shut down the war in his head. taking a few deep breaths, he opened his eyes and looked up. there was a kid who was looking at him from a few meters away with her ice-cream melting in her tiny hands. she was obviously scared as she was frozen at her spot. soon a woman came her way and looked at what the little girl was pointing at. upon seeing wonho in that condition, the woman’s eyes widened and she ran to the singer.

she knelt down in front of him as he was still trying to catch his breath, looking at his feet that were now stretched on the ground. his whole clothes were dirty now. 

“ a-are you okay mr. shin? “ wonho looked up at her but he really hadn’t heard or understood what she had said. he couldn’t gather anything about his surroundings really. 

the woman took her scarf off of her neck and wiped the tears he didn’t know he had shed with it gently before trying to clean some of the blood from his hands. wonho just sat there and looked at her blankly. he was looking but he didn’t know what was really going on.

“ my name is ji-eun. i’m a nurse here. we’re gonna take you inside and clean these wounds, okay? “ she said while wrapping the scarf around his right hand that was in a worse condition. 

“ mr.shin? do you hear me? “ she slapped his cheeks a few times until he finally came back to reality. blinking a few times and wincing at the sudden and harsh pain that he felt in his entire body and especially his hands he looked down. when he saw all the blood his eyes widened.

“ wha-“ his mouth was open in shock. he looked around and he didn’t even know where he was. all he knew was that he was in some dark small place with bloody hands that ached so much it felt like his soul was being sucked out of the wounds, and a lady sitting in front of him, holding his right hand in hers and looking at him worriedly.

“ what happened? “ 

“ you don’t remember anything? “ wonho shook his head. the lady exhaled.

“ i found you like this. what’s the last thing you remember? “ 

“ i was sitting on the bench by the sakura tree at the hospital’s yard.” he shifted a bit with the little energy he had left. “ where am i? “ 

“ you’re still in the hospital yard and if you’re not remembering anything, i’m guessing you had some sort of a panic attack. did something happen? something that could be the trigger?” upon this question, he felt a shock running through his head as he jumped up. 

“ hyungwon. i left hyungwon alone. “ he started to walk but realized it was not a good plan as his legs gave out and he almost crashed if it wasn’t for ji-eun’s grip. 

“ is hyungwon at the hospital? “ wonho nodded as he couldn’t make any words out with the way his head was spinning. he must have used all his energy in punching the poor wall. he managed to look back and see the big red spot that decorated the gray blocks. there was so much blood on the surface that it had even run down in thin lines. he felt apologetic for making such a mess. 

“ we’ll get your wounds cleaned up and then you can go to hyungwon again, okay? “ 

trying to stand straight, he shook his head and swallowed. “ no, let’s check on hyungwon first.” 

 

 

the younger was still asleep peacefully. he stayed and looked at him for a couple more seconds from behind the small window of the door before he let ji-eun guide him to another room. she made him sit on a chair as she started cleaning up.

“ has something like this ever happened before?” 

“ what? the panic attack? “ 

“ aha “ she replied and added something on the wounds. wonho hissed at the pain and tried to pull his hand away on instinct. ji-eun held his hand in place.

“ yeah. a few times. “ 

“ have you talked to a doctor about it? “

“ what should i tell them? that i hear voices in my head? they’ll think i’m insane and try to lock me up in those stupid hospitals of theirs. “ he sighed “ anyway, it hasn’t happened for so long that i’m honestly shocked right now. i thought it had gone away.” 

“ it never goes away mr.shin. it’ll always stay unless you do something about it. “ 

“ i can’t. i’ll only make people around me worried more than they already are.” there was something intimate and calming about the nurse. he found himself telling her the things he never had told anyone before. he had not told one soul about the voices, no-one.

“ you’re right but do you think they won’t worry when they see these? “ she gestured towards his hands that were now covered but band-aids. 

“ we’re done here. you can go to hyungwon now.” wonho stood up and thanked her. as he was about to leave the room she called him.

“ mr. shin? even if you don’t wanna go to a doctor for it, talk to someone. talking always helps.” wonho smiled.

“ so i’ve been told. by the way, call me wonho. i hate my surname. “ ji-eun chuckled and nodded. 

 

 

peaking through the small window, he saw hyungwon was awake with his phone in his hand. taking a deep breath, he looked around and saw ji-eun who gestured ‘ fighting’ and smiled widely at him. he smiled back and gestured the same thing with his fists and opened the door. he hid his hands behind his back as he walked closer to the bed. hyungwon looked up at him and smiled lazily.

“i was about to call you. i thought you’d left. why are you standing like that?! “ 

“ don’t panic okay? it’s nothing serious. “ 

“ what are you talking about? are you hiding something behind you?” wonho moved his hands to his sides and hyungwon yelped in shock.

“ what the fuck have you done? “ he screamed and tried to reach out the older’s hand which resulted in him wincing in pain due to the sudden movement. 

“ hey hey hey, stay still, what are you doing? i told you, it’s nothing.” he helped hyungwon sit back in his previous position and looked at him while the pain went away from his facial expression.

“ how can this be nothing? your hands are covered in band-aids! “ he looked dead serious in his eyes “ what did you do wonho? “ a serious low-voiced hyungwon that called his name meant he was not joking and was ready to fight to get answers.

“ i might have punched a wall.” he paused “ i’m sorry. “ he looked down at their linked hands. 

hyungwon gritted his teeth and frowned. “ what are you sorry for? “ his voice was a bit less serious than before, but still it was the one that demanded answers.

“ for making you worry and causing you even more pain.” he murmured.

“ none of this is your fault baby. “ the younger rubbed his fingertips on his boyfriend’s skin. “ you’re really cold and pale. sit down.” he picked a chocolate bar from the table next to the bed and opened it as wonho was dragging a chair by the bed.

“ here, eat this.” he looked at him while he was chewing lazily. hyungwon reached out a hand and locked it in the strands of the black hair.

“ it’s not your fault that some people are maniacs. it’s not your fault that i’m hurt. do you hear me? it’s not your fault wonho.” the latter stopped chewing and looked into his eyes. they stared at each other for a few seconds before the older smiled at him and started chewing again.

“ i forgot to call shownu to fill him in like he asked to. i should probably give him a call.” 

hyungwon kept looking at his lover while he obviously escaped from their conversation and called his friend to explain what was going on. his doctor instinct told him something was off. 

 

 

the next day, the door opened and a nurse came inside as both males were talking to each other.

“ how are you feeling today mr.chae? “ they both looked at the direction.

“ ji-eun? “ 

“ oh hi wonho. how are your hands? “ wonho smiled one of his wide gummy smiles. hyungwon hadn’t seen that smile for the past two days.

“ they’re good. thanks to you.” 

“ i only did my job. so this is the hyungwon you were so worried about, huh? “ wonho returned the nurse’s smile, held hyungwon’s hand in his and hummed.

ji-eun made her way to the bed after checking the information the nurse before her had written.

“ i’m gonna check on your bruise, okay?” hyungwon nodded shortly and looked back at wonho who had stepped back a bit to give the nurse some space.

“ you two know each other? “ 

“ oh yeah, sorry. this is ji-eun. she helped me with this mess yesterday.” he held his hands up.

“ and ji-eun, this is my boyfriend hyungwon.” the nurse looked over her shoulders at him with big eyes and an ‘O’ shaped mouth before turning to look at hyungwon’s face.

“ handsome boyfriends! wow! nice to meet you hyungwon.” hyungwon laughed and relaxed.

“ nice to meet you too ji-eun. and thanks for taking care of my boyfriend’s wounds.” 

“ you’re welcome. “ she looked at him again and smiled. she was really sweet. he looked back at wonho who was looking at them both, mainly ji-eun’s hands that were observing the younger’s bruise. 

“ we’ll take another MRI today and if everything was fine, you’ll be able to go home.” she put her hand on his forehead and then measured his temperature. “ you’re having a little bit of a fever. i’ll be right back with some pills.” smiling at them both, she left the room.

wonho was quick to close the distance and kiss his forehead as his hands were no good right now due to the band-aids. he felt the hotness on the skin of his lips.

“ you’re hot won. are you in pain?” 

“ just a bit.” 

“ from 1 to 10 how much in pain are you? “ 

“ 1’s the lowest? “ wonho nodded and hyungwon chuckled.

“ hmmm,,, 6?” 

“ what the fuck? that much?! “ the older semi-shouted.

“ i’m gonna tell her to bring some painkillers too.” and he left the room. 

hyungwon watched him as he walked out and remembered the genuine smile on his boyfriend’s face. it was one of those smiles he did around people who he was most comfortable with. like himself. and they said they had just met yesterday. wonho was not someone to open up that fast. he himself hadn’t been able to make him open up about so many things yet.

the door opened again and the two of them came in, laughing at something the nurse had said. wonho looked at her with excited eyes as he whispered something to her. the room was quite big as it was a vip room( which wonho had made him transfer to ) so he couldn’t catch anything from their conversation.

“ here. it’ll help with the pain and lower your fever.” she gave him two pills and wonho gave him a glass of water. he felt like a 5-year-old kid and he frowned while drinking the water. wonho noticed this and he was about to ask what was wrong when his phone started ringing. he excused himself and walked out of the room.

“ you know…” ji-eun started talking in a sweet friendly tone “ he told me you used to be a psychiatrist.” hyungwon nodded.

“ have you noticed anything… off about him sometimes?” 

“ what do you mean? he’s perfectly fine!” he had his guard up. he didn’t know this ji-eun girl. for all they knew, she could easily give away information about wonho.

“ i know he doesn’t want you to know and i wouldn’t tell you if you weren’t a doctor, but he had a panic attack yesterday.” hyungwon froze, remembering the one time he had seen the older lose it at the hospital. “ i found him with blood pouring out of his wounds and he was completely out of it. i had to slap him several times for him to come back to his senses.” hyungwon had held his breath, he was processing what he had just heard. why would wonho experience a breakdown all of a sudden? the more he thought the less sense it all made to him. 

“ try and talk to him, okay? he was a real mess. he said he doesn’t wanna make people around him worry by talking. i really hate myself right now for telling you the things he told me but he really needs help with this and you’re a professional so…. “ ji-eun played with her sleeves.

“ i’m really ashamed for betraying his trust like this. could you maybe,.. like not tell him i told you this and try to get him to talk about it yourself? “ hyungwon smiled at her “ i promise you i won’t tell him. thank you ji-eun. thanks for telling me.” she nodded and at that moment wonho came back inside.

“ they have found the maniac.” 

 

 

 


	61. Sixty One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello annyeong!  
> ok so fancams of my main ship holding hands and then wonho being all clingy with hyungwon at the radio station... today i was WELL FED! can they PLEASE be real? Please please please?? ... hehe
> 
> the pictures are supposed to be in IG world, cuz surprise surprise! i love IG ^.^

**WonBun**

ok,so…um, guys? where is wonho?! the last we saw him was at music bank! his schedules have been canceled for this week and he didn’t even show up for the company show! i’m worried!!

 

 

 

**WonBebe**

 

one of my friends is a staff at the central hospital. she said she saw him there a few days back! she said his both hands were covered in band-aids. I'M WORRIED. #whereiswonho

 

 

 

**WonHoE**

( minus the neck tattoo, add band-aids) 

guys! omg! i had to come to the city court today and i saw wonho!!!!  but what happened to his hands :"( #wonhoisfound

 

 

 

**WonHoE**

this guy just came in and now they’re standing there talking to each other!!!!  who is he?!

 

 

 

**WonHoE**

  

ISTG! what the heck is going on?! shownu and jooheon are with them as well?!!??!? ok,,, i feel bad for spying on them. gonna delete all of this later!

 

 

 

 

**MXWonHo**

****

is it just me or does the guy @WonHoE posted about looks suspiciously like the guy shownu posted a photo with a while back?!

 

 

 

**Wontokki**

****

so, i followed wonho’s brother way before he made his account private and i’m still a follower ( guess he forgot to remove me! ) anyways, is this the guy we’re curious about?!

 

 

 

**Wontokki**

EVEN KIHYUN HAS A SELFIE WITH HIM. WHO IS THIS GUY!

 

 

 

 

**Shownu** **-Bear**

****

This the guy y’all are going crazy over? lol! he is a new member of papa bear’s dance crew! they were on the ‘ show me you can dance ‘ program for three whole months, how can ya’ll not know him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok... here are the reasons why i uploaded this chapter:  
> 1- i love photoZ!  
> 2- there was a video a few days ago showing how wonho wanted to get in the van after the fan-meeting and one f-ing fan didn't let him. guys! let celebrities LIVE! that's why i made this. as absurd as it is to spy on a celebrity and take their pictures secretly and upload their private information, i wanted to just show how ugly it is. we should respect everyone's privacy. ( i feel like a halmeoni rn!)  
> 3- taking slow steps for fans to know a hyungwon exists.


	62. Sixty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but if you haven't watched the members giving lap dances to shownu yet, idk what you're doing with your life!

hyungwon knew wonho had a fighter’s spirit. from the times they spent at the hospital, the way he fought against his own body’s desires and actually got rid of the addiction way sooner than the average do, to overcoming the many hardships of his career, he kinda worshiped the older man for his strong personality. but that didn’t mean he couldn’t break from time to time.

wonho had so many walls. to which hyungwon had not been able to break down and pass through many of them yet. the last heart to heart conversation they had was way back before they even really got together. that time when he’d last seen wonho’s mother. the only time he had seen wonho’s mother.

that morning, when ji-eun, the nurse, told him about his boyfriend having had a panic attack, all he could do was think and re-think about the possible triggers. but he was at a loss. he had made a vow to himself to help wonho get rid of all his baggage but yet here he was, 7 months later and still the older haven’t let him through. no-one could get through to him unless he himself wanted them to.

 

 

“ they have found the maniac.” wonho had said it with so much anger and disgust in his voice before looking at him dead in the eye for a few seconds, actually demanding ji-eun to keep hyungwon’s company and then he had left. had hyungwon not been under the influence of the medicine he had just gotten, he would follow the older but he had already started getting dizzy. all he could do was to call shownu and ask him to please prevent the hotheaded man from doing anything he’ll regret later.

 

“ why don’t you sleep some while he’s not here?” ji-eun had not left his side a single second after they had come back from taking the MRI. hyungwon kept staring out of the window next to his bed, waiting to see wonho’s car. no-one had called him to fill him on what’s going on. neither did they pick his calls up.

“ i’m too worried.”

“ he’s a big man. he can take care of himself. besides they’re at a police station.” the nurse tried to calm him. hyungwon turned his head and looked into the girl’s big eyes sweetly, a small smile on his lips.

“ him getting physically hurt isn’t the only thing i’m worried about. although the guy was really… powerful and crazy and just…” he sighed, chewing on his cheek.

“ there are so many things that could affect his job, you have no idea. one wrong move and his career could be ruined for good. he has already made his bosses angry at him for canceling on his schedules. i don’t want him to get in any troubles because of me.” he nearly whispered the last sentence, afraid to hear it outloud himself. ji-eun reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing it.

“ hey, it’s not your fault. if anything, you made the guy show himself and how much of a threat he is to wonho. they even got him on camera so now they’ll handle things legally. you’re hurt but in some way, it happened for the best.” that kinda made sense to him so he squeezed ji-eun’s hand back and turned to look out of the window again.

 

 

6PM. still no sign of his boyfriend.

“ hyungwon, your MRI is all good. you can go home but you should be careful not to put any kind of pressure on you ribs for at least three weeks.”  the doctor said.

“ will i be able to dance?”

“ rest for one week, then start slowly. any kind of pain and you should stop immediately.”

“ alright. thank you doctor.”

“ oh and… take it easy in sex for a while. it’s not a serious injury but putting any kind of pressure on the ribs and they might crack and get worse so just be careful.” hyungwon blushed and nodded silently.

the moment the doctor walked out, changkyun came in. walking slowly to the bed where hyungwon was.

“ hey hyung.”

“ kyun, where’s wonho?” his eyes looked at the door cautiously. changkyun’s facial expressions were not giving him good vibes.

“ yeah, they kinda kept him at the station… jongup and daehyun are doing the formalities to get him out.”

“ w-w-what?! what the hell happened?! why would they not let him out?” he found he had raised his voice as soon as he finished, his heart beating so fast in his ears.

changkyun sighed deeply and looked down at his feet. he bit on his lip before started explaining.

“ we were cautious, shownu and i, ready to just grab him if he wanted to jump the madman as soon as we walked in. but he was surprisingly calm. it was the kind of calm that i knew would only end in him bursting. but during the investigation and stuff, we got too distracted and the fucker kept provoking him. saying how he shouldn’t be with a twi- “ he stopped himself from repeating the words and cleared his voice. “ anyways, at some point, wonho lost it. one second we were all sitting and the next he was on top of the guy punching the shit out of him. and then the next second, three policemen had held him down.” changkyun buried his face in his palms as he exhaled roughly. “ it was a whole mess. after that, he just sat there without saying a thing and before they put them both in different cells, he told me to come to you.”

“ did he get hurt?”

“ huh?”

“ the guy, did he hurt wonho?”

“ no! have you seen my brother’s muscles?! the guy didn’t stand a chance.” changkyun closed the distance and put a hand on hyungwon’s trembling shoulder.

“ it’s all okay now hyung. they’ll get him out in a couple of hours. and we filed a lawsuit against the guy so the case will be sent to the court tomorrow. he’ll be sent to jail for some years daehyun said. you have nothing to be worried about now.”

“ daehyun, who’s daehyun again?” hyungwon asked in between his thousand thoughts.

“ how do you not know your boyfriend’s lawyer!”

“ there are a lot of things that i don’t know.” he took a couple of deep breaths. “ anyways, they discharged me so we should just pay the hospital and go home.”

“ i already paid.” he waved a credit card in the air “ got my bro’s card. wanna go shopping?! “ changkyun wiggled his eyebrows and earned himself a slap on the butt.

“ your brother is in jail and you’re trying to have a feast with his credit card?! brother of the year you are!” they both laughed, forgetting the mess of a situation for a minute.

 

 

 

 

hyungwon was at a state between being asleep and awake. he was dreaming but he could hear the voices surrounding him. which weren’t much. only the sound of TV that was coming from the living room. but then he heard the familiar digits and then the voice he’d been waiting for. he started fighting to wake up fully but the pills were doing an amazing job to keep him dizzy.

“ how is he?”

“ he’s fine. everything okay on your side? will he be able to file a lawsuit against you?”

“ i don’t know.” sound of water being poured into the glass.

“ i’ll get going then. um,,, calm completely down before going to him. he’s really worried and seeing you in this state only makes him panic more.”

“ alright. thanks kyun.”

wake up, wake up. damn these pills can paralyze you. he managed to open his eyes finally.sitting up was a struggle, his body wasn’t really listening to him and he was definitely gonna see what the hell was in those pills later. the bedroom door opened and wonho looked at him for a couple of seconds before rushing to him in fast steps.

he didn’t even know when it happened but the next thing he knew was that he was being kissed hungrily. his hand found it’s way to hold onto the wrist that was cupping his face. the skin was rough. he could feel it even in his dizzy state. pulling back from the lips that were devouring him wasn’t an easy thing to do but he somehow managed it. he looked at wonho for three seconds, before moving his eyes to the wrist he was holding. the skin was red and even had a cut on it. it wasn’t a deep cut, more like a scratch but it was there nevertheless. he noticed that the band-aids were newly wrapped.

“ what happened? why is your wrist like this?” he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on the reddened skin.

“ let’s just say the police handcuffs aren’t as friendly as they look.”

hyungwon’s eyes widened. “ handcuffs?! they… what the hell were you thinking?” he found himself yelling all of a sudden. wonho seemed taken aback by the outburst.

“ what was i supposed to do? sit there and listen to him badmouth about you?”

“ so the only thing you could think of was to beat him up? what if he files a lawsuit against you? for violence? how do you think that will look to the public’s eye when they report it?” wonho took a step back and stood beside the bed, taking his clothes off.

“ stop nagging. i’ve heard enough from kihyun already.” he then left to the bathroom and a few seconds after he heard the shower being turned on.

 

 

 


	63. Sixty Three

“ you know we can still cancel the whole thing and stay in bed instead, right?” wonho asked as he back-hugged him, looking at his reflection in the giant mirror.

“ he will be really upset and i don’t want that. neither should you. he is your little brother after all.” hyungwon replied fixing his tie thoroughly and turning around to do the same for the older. wonho’s expression hardened as he loosened his hands around him but still didn’t let go.

“ i know… but i really hate these family gatherings and everyone’s gonna be there tonight with their stupid, STUPID questions and then there’s our mother, don’t even get me started on that, and THEN..” he looked at the younger with eyes that held a kind of sadness in them as he started caressing hyungwon’s clothed back up and down. “ then there’s you. you’re still healing. it’s been only two days since you were discharged from the hospital. i don’t wanna make your condition worse.” hyungwon wanted to get rid of the sadness so bad. it had been there ever since his boyfriend had found out about this whole mess and there had been nothing any of them could do. of course, he denied it but hyungwon was a psychiatrist, he knew better.

“ i told you a thousand times baby. i’m really fine. i can also dance! but well, i have an over-protective boyfriend who is not letting me.” wonho snorted as he furrowed his eyebrows at him and leaned back a bit.

“ damn right he won’t! just kiss dancing goodbye for at least a week or something.” he completely let go of him and walked away through the bedroom door as he continued talking with a higher volume.

“ you know how clumsy you can be. the last thing we need is for you to accidentally trip over your feet and land on your rib.”

“ so much for optimism.” hyungwon whispered under his breath as wonho walked back into the living room with his car keys and phone in hand. he put them both down on the kitchen counter and poured some red wine in the crystal glass, downing it all in one go.

“ optimism is nothing but a myth. i’m sure you know it by now.” hyungwon looked down as he hummed then back up as the older grabbed the bottle again. he was fast to rip it out of his hands and putting it back at the cabin.

“ what are you doing?! i’m not gonna drive a half-drunk wonho, who by the way happens to be a sassy prick, to his brother’s birthday party.”

wonho whined and exhaled harshly as he hugged him tight as he could and buried his head in the crook of his neck.

“ wonnie~ i really don’t wanna go. why don’t you let me use you as an excuse? pretty pleeeease?” hyungwon couldn’t help a chuckle. he loved it when the older looked almost several years younger.

“ you can’t run from things forever, you know? it’s only this one night. try and bear it for our cute little wolf, hm?”

“ that stupid wolf. he can get anything by pulling those puppy eyes out of me. why can’t he be a normal teenager and have a birthday party with his college friends, getting wasted and drugged,having a threesome and such?”

“ is that what you did? when you were a teenager?” the younger couldn’t help the curiosity in his voice.

“ i never went to college, remember?” hyungwon leaned back a bit and made wonho look at him.

“ yeah, but did you ever have a threesome?” wonho bit his bottom lip.

“ let’s not bring my past into this. come on, we’re gonna be late.” the older let go of him and picked his stuff off of the counter again before walking to the entrance.

“ oh NOW you care about the party! i can’t believe you had a threesome!!! or was it more than once?” hyungwon gasped as his eyes widened comically. “ OH MY GOD! you didn’t have a foursome or more, did you? oh my god WONHO!”the latter looked at him looking confused and shocked.

“ what? No! i didn’t participate in anything that involved more than three people. it would involve too much dicks and even i am not gay enough for that.”

hyungwon finally walked towards him and started putting his shoes on.

“ but when was it? when was the last time you’ve had a threesome? did you top or … wonho! did you let them fu-” wonho looked down at him with narrowed eyes as he interrupted him furiously.

“ Hyungwon NO! i’ll never let anyone, okay? let’s just say i was a bit adventurous and not at all faithful before minhyuk.” hyungwon stared at him with a smirk as he stood up.

“ oh, so you were the handsome fuckboy!” wonho rolled his eyes and grabbed the younger’s wrist, dragging him gently towards the door and they finally walked out of the apartment but his boyfriend didn’t let go of the topic.

“is it good? i’ve never had one. how did it feel? how did you choose which one to fuck?” wonho looked at him from the corner of his eyes as they were waiting for the elevator.

“ don’t get curious on me now. there’s no way i’m sharing you or letting anyone as near as laying a finger on you.” he looked at his chest, or was it his ribs? “ at least, not again.” he whispered to himself but hyungwon heard him though he decided not to comment on it.

 

 

the whole ride to wonho’s parents’ house, or as he addressed it ‘mr. shin’s house’, was quiet. not even a word was spoken between them. the closer they got, the more uncomfortable wonho became but hyungwon decided to keep the silence as he knew the older wasn’t really a fan of conversations at moments like this.

they finally arrived and changkyun jumped into his brother’s arms as soon as they walked in. there were too many people inside, almost no space for anymore and wonho was obviously trying not to look directly at anyone but still was observing, eyes searching around the place.

“ hyungwonnie hyung, my room is upstairs. feel free to just go there and lay down whenever you get tired, okay? it’s the door with the wolf picture on it.”

“ okay kyunnie, thank you. where are your parents? i have to say hi to them.” he felt how wonho looked at him immediately and grabbed his wrist.

“ no you don’t.”

“ yes i do and so do you. come on you buff boy. it’s just a simple greeting.”

he tried to follow changkyun but the hand around his wrist tightened.

“ you don’t understand. saying hi to them means them showing us to everyone and then we’ll have to fake smiles and have a conversation with people who don’t give a shit about any of us ever and are here to probably gather some good gossip material. i don’t wanna do that.” hyungwon looked at him thoroughly as he turned around completely to face him and cupped his face, robbing his thumbs on the soft skin of his cheeks.

“ it’s the same for everyone wonho. relatives tend to be like that. no-one really cares. i don’t like it either but it’s the only moral thing to do. we can’t just go around without greeting them, can we?” wonho groaned in frustration as he took his hand in his and kissed both palms softly before holding on one hand in his tightly as if scared to let go.

“ you owe me big time for this pink evil.” he eyed changkyun “ you too big bad wolf.” his brother stuck his tongue at him as he walked to the direction the parents were at. hyungwon placed a quick kiss on wonho’s cheek before following the younger and taking wonho with him.

 

“ mom, look who’s here.” changkyun said in a high pitched voice, all excited. both of the parents turned around and looked at the three of them. mr.shin was the first one who spoke.

“ Hello! so we finally get to meet the hyungwon we’ve heard so much about.” he stretched his hand towards the said boy who shook it immediately with a smile.

“ hello, it’s nice to finally meet you as well. i hope you’ve heard good things. hi, mrs. shin.” he shook their mother’s hand as well.

“ of course dear. changkyun really adores you, you know. thanks for taking care of our boy here. i know he can be difficult at times.” she said with a happy smile on her face. wonho listened to the whole conversation as he chewed on the inside of his cheek and looked at hyungwon with an unreadable gaze. he was so out of it that he almost fell forward by mr.shin’s pat on his back.

“ wonho, i didn’t think you’d come boy. it’s been a long time since we last saw you.” wonho cleared his voice and his features softened a bit.

“ i…have been very busy. everything good with your business?” there was a small smile on his face. like he wanted to smile more but he didn’t let his body.

“ as good as it could be. though everything has been going way smoother due to the program you made for us.” wonho nodded and let the smile become a bit wider as he shook the man’s hand firmly.

there was a moment when he looked around and then the smile suddenly disappeared as his lips parted and he took his hand back almost immediately. hyungwon followed his gaze to a man, grey hair and beard, buff and tall but bent down a bit due to his age, maybe even taller than hyungwon.

wonho’s breathing picked up as he turned his head to his mother with a deep frown, his eyes almost dangerous.

“ what is he doing here?” his voice was low and deep as it could be.

“ who?” his mother looked at where he was looking.

“ oh, him? come on darling. he is grandpa’s friend. we couldn’t not invite him after inviting his family.”

wonho sighed and chuckled before biting on his lower lip.

“ so this.” he nodded to himself as he looked down and took a step back.

“ this is how you’re gonna be after all.” he kept his stare on his mother, hurt and disgust pouring out of his eyes.

“ sorry kyun, it’s your mother’s fault i won’t be here ever again.”he turned around and walked away in fast steps but was stopped by a tall figure. looking up, he was met with the grey-haired man.

“ oh, wonho! long time no see little boy.” the man put his hand on the latter’s shoulder as wonho stood there. hyungwon didn’t know what was going on but what he did know was the fact that this man had done something. something so bad that had left wonho powerless. so he walked to him, grabbed his hand and made him walk with him out of the house and to the car. wonho was cold. very cold but his face was as intense as ever. hyungwon cupped his face and placed a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. wonho seemed to come back to reality at the touch as he blinked a few times and relaxed a bit, letting a breath he was holding out.

“ give me the keys babe. i’ll drive.” hyungwon whispered while brushing the older’s hair out of his eyes.

wonho took the keys out of his pocket and handed him before going around the car.

“ where are you going?! what the hell happened?” changkyun shouted as he ran towards them. wonho stopped amidst getting in the car when he heard his brother’s voice.

“ go back inside kyun.” his voice was demanding.

“ no! why do you always have to be like this? it’s my fucking birthday!” he yelled again as he reached the car. wonho wanted to say something but closed his mouth and eyes as he took a deep breath.

“ i’m sorry kyun. we’ll have a party ourselves later. let’s go won.” hyungwon gave changkyun an apologetic look as he got in the car and drove away.

 

wonho’s feet were heavy as they walked to the apartment. he took his jacket off and threw it on the ground as he went by the glass wall and breathed heavily. hyungwon followed slowly behind him and picked the jacket off the floor, folding it and putting it on the sofa.

“ won, baby, what’s wrong?” he said carefully as he closed the distance between them. as his hands touched wonho’s shoulders, the latter flinched, turned around and pushed his hands away almost on instinct.

“ did… was the guy the one you mentioned before? the one who… who was being inappropriate with you when you were a kid?”

wonho wasn’t looking at him but somewhere behind him. the latter didn’t reply and instead, he walked past him, poured a whole glass of wine and gulped it down. he was about to pour another one when he gave up halfway and just took the whole bottle in hand, walking to his studio room and closing the door behind himself.

hyungwon wanted to let him be, he wanted to let him have some time to his own but alcohol was not good for him and the bottle was almost full. he would drink it all and later have his stomach bothered. so he loosened his tie and walked to the room his boyfriend was at.

he knocked but didn’t wait for the permission before opening the door. wonho was sitting on the comfy chair at the far end corner of the room that was covered in darkness. the first thing hyungwon did was turning on the light. darkness only made things worse and he didn’t like it.

“ please talk to me.” he plead as he closed the gap and stood in front of him. wonho had already drank half of the bottle in mere moments and took yet another big sip. hyungwon reached out and tried to take the bottle but wonho slapped his hand away.

“ leave.” he demanded.

“ no. i’m not leaving until you talk to me. you don’t have to keep it all in. i’m on your side no matter what.” wonho snorted and stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“ so you were glad to ‘finally’ meet the parents, huh?”his voice was mocking and a smirk was visible on his face.

“ what?” he was a bit taken aback “ i said it to be polite!” he defended himself.

“ oh? so you lied!” the smirk disappeared and his expression became void.

“ it..i.. it doesn’t count as lying. it’s being polite.” he suddenly remembered how much the older hated lying like it was the greatest sin.

“ okay. could you leave now?” he took another sip and laid back on the chair.

“ no wonho for god’s sake! talk! i’ve waited for almost 8 months now. what are you so scared of? i won’t judge you.” hyungwon was frustrated and helpless. there was no way to get to the older and he was supposed to know ways to get through people.

“ what do you wanna know?” his voice was low and quiet.

“ the thing that’s making you swallow that bottle whole right now.”

“ okay, alright…” he sat up. “ the guy is a family friend. i was around 10 i guests, right after my father had left us or something. one night, my aunt, mom and him, and i, went for a ride. they left me in the car with him and i was sitting at the passenger’s seat. and then he started to touch me. i grabbed his hand but he hushed me and took my hand away. i didn’t know what was going on. no-one ever warned me. the only thing i was thinking was the fact that they could come back at any second so i kept looking around while his hand was going everywhere. and when i saw them i told him ‘ they’re here’ and he took his hand away like nothing had happened.” he took another sip.

“ time passed and he came by more often, they would all go to different places of the house, minding their own business and as soon as we were alone, he would grab me, place me on his lap and well, touch me.” he laughed “ once, he told me to undress. you know why i didn’t? i told them no, others can come in and see. it was like i was his bitch. he even told me that my body liked it. that my body got heated up due to his touch.” he sighed. hyungwon felt how the tears began falling down on his cheeks silently as he listened.

“ once, they saw him moving his hands over my clothes. they didn’t say anything to him, they didn’t confront him as if it was okay to do. when he left that night, they asked me what he was doing and what he was whispering to me. i said he was saying whether he wanted me to make my father come back. i came up with a lie as fast as i could cuz i felt like i shouldn’t tell them that he was doing those things. took me years to get over the feeling of being a whore who can enjoy whoever touches him. guess i was lucky enough i didn’t get raped.” he laughed sarcastically and took yet another sip, emptying the bottle.

“ what… made him stop?”

“ he? he didn’t stop! i just… i just stayed out of the house or hid in some room when he came around.” hyungwon felt like going back and punching the man to death for what he did.

“ i’m sorry won, i’m so sorry to hear that. but… you know that it wasn’t your fault right?” he reached his hand out to hold wonho’s. as soon as his hand touched the older’s, wonho took his hand back and dropped the bottle to the ground.

“ i don’t need this. i don’t need pity.” wonho stood up and stormed out of the room.

 

 

 

wonho hated this. he hated being confronted by his past memories. he hated talking about them and yet, his so-called mother had invited the man she knew for a fact abused him and his boyfriend made him talk about it. he couldn’t be around them now. he couldn’t be around anyone. he just wanted to be alone. he felt like he hated everyone and everything.

‘ you’re over-reacting.’ great. he was a little dizzy due to the wine, he couldn’t drive and he couldn’t find his phone to call an uber, his stomach was beginning to ache and now the sweet voices in his head were about to hit him again. he needed to leave, fast. the last thing he wanted was for hyungwon to see him struggle with inside his head. ‘ everyone gets touched inappropriately one way or another during their lifetime, you’re just being a pussy.’

‘ grow up already! you didn’t even get raped!’ it seemed like his own brain was laughing at him. he placed his hands on his ears forcefully and stopped in the middle of the hallway. ‘ you did like the touch though, maybe you are a whore after all’ he shook his head repeatedly, trying to refuse the thought. he wasn’t a whore, it was just a biological reaction. ‘ you went on and slept with every boy he could find just to prove you were the fun who fucked not the one who gets it in the ass.’ he bit on his lip hard enough to tear the skin, being a bottom is nothing to be ashamed of so why was his head saying it like that?

stop. stop. you’re wrong, just stop. please. he didn’t realize the fact that he was indeed speaking those words aloud. hyungwon had been watching him for a few moments now, too scared to get close and he had stayed away to observe the situation to know what exactly was going on. wonho was sitting by the wall, head down in his hands as his body kept shivering. hyungwon heard as the older kept repeating the words ‘stop’ and ‘please’.

he walked towards his boyfriend and sat down in front of him.

“ wonho” he called his boyfriend softly but received no reaction.

“ wonho, baby.” he placed his hands on the older’s. hyungwon took his hands down from his ears and cupped the beautiful face in his palms and moved his head upwards. wonho’s gaze was unfocused as he curled in a ball, pulling his knees close to his chest and curled his arms around them.

“ wonnie~ look at me babe.” he kissed his forehead.

“ i love you.” he kissed his left eye.

“ i love you so much.” he kissed another kiss on his right eye and followed it by several kisses all over his face. after a million pecks, wonho finally met his eyes.

“ hyungwon?” hyungwon smiled at him through his tears. wonho’s eyes were surprisingly dry but his face was flushed and his skin stone cold.

“ what…happened?” he looked around and uncurled his arms from his knees as he stood up slowly.

“ oh no… did i… you saw it, didn’t you?” hyungwon stood up as well and hugged him tightly.

“ it’s okay. there’s nothing to hide. i love you and that’s all that matters. i’m sorry i forced you into talking when you clearly didn’t want to. this is my fault. i triggered this. i’m so so sorry baby.” wonho’s hand were hesitant but he finally hugged back and took a deep breath filled with the taller’s scent. hyungwon’s scent always helped him calm down no matter the situation.

“ does this happen often?” hyungwon asked in the hug.

“ no,” wonho shook his head. “ it hadn’t happened for years. until recently, it first came back at the hospital and now was the second time. i don’t know why now. i was okay for a long time. am i really crazy?” the last sentence held so much fear in it that hyungwon had to get out of the embrace to be able to look at his lover.

“ no, you’re not crazy. don’t ever think that. you have a sensitive personality, you’re pure and innocent, unlike the image you try to pull off. you had a rough childhood and this is completely understandable. we’re gonna fix it okay?”

wonho swallowed painfully as his face winced.” i don’t wanna go to the hospital again.” hyungwon pecked him on the lips before pulling him back into a hug again. “ you have a doctor right in your house. there’s no need for a hospital. i’m gonna help you get rid of those voices. can you trust me with that?” he talked his words slowly. wonho nodded and buried his head deeper in the crook of his neck. after a few seconds, hyungwon felt how wonho’s hands tightened on his shirt and he heard his lover hiss in what seemed to be in pain as he pushed him away suddenly and ran to the bathroom. he threw all he drank up again and now he was gonna be in pain for a few days. hyungwon really had to get rid of all the alcohol in their house. and he definitely had to call himchan and discuss the whole situation with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii~  
> just in case anyone's upset, i wanted to say, there is nothing wrong with foursomes (or more) as long as the person enjoys it. i just had to put it like that in the story for wonho's character here.  
> bye~ ^.^


	64. Sixty Four

“ so, this is all, just let me talk and i’ll handle everything. there’s no way i’m letting him file a lawsuit against you.” daehyun explained.

earlier today he had called wonho to inform him about the court they had to go to the next day and had asked them to visit him at his office so that he could explain how they were going to do things. it was settled that they were going to bring shownu and jooheon with them as witnesses.

“ but wonho did hit him so how can you not let him file a lawsuit?” hyungwon asked as he kept his hand on wonho’s thigh. he’s been worried about this for the past week and no matter how many times wonho told him it’s gonna be okay and that deahyun was one of the best lawyers of the country, he still couldn’t rest.

“ i could explain all the paragraphs and titles of the law rules to you but you’ll fall asleep mid-way. just trust me on this one hyungwon, okay? i’m a fan of wonho regardless of my job and i’ll make sure nothing can be a threat to his publicity.” daehyun smiled at him as he kept the eye-contact. hyungwon could only nod after a couple of seconds.

 

 

 

to hyungwon’s surprise, wonho had been completely calm about the whole situation and hadn’t really given a single fuck about it all. it seemed like he couldn’t care less about the consequences of this mess. first, he had just called jongup to tell him he won’t be attending his schedules for a while, just like that, and then he had told hyungwon that even if the maniac did in fact file a lawsuit it wouldn’t matter much. he was 180 degrees different from the usual responsible man who loved and cared about his job a little too much. the CEO of their company was pissed at him and the older just shrugged it all off.

“ how can you be so calm? this could mean the end of your career!” hyungwon said as he looked up from the older’s chest at his face. wonho didn’t look at him and kept on looking at the ceiling while caressing his naked back.

“ it won’t be that bad. you clearly have no idea what obstacles i’ve had in my way and i’ve overcome them all.” he looked at hyungwon and smiled before pecking his lips. the older kept looking at him.

“ seriously pinkwonnie, there’s nothing for you to be worried about. we’re gonna go to the court and it’ll all be over before you even notice it. and then i will finally release the album after a hundred fucking years.” he sighed and put his head back on the pillow and threw his free hand over his eyes. hyungwon eyed him from the side, his jaw, his lips, his beautiful neck that was now covered in the marks he had left. if this mess had one good outcome, it was the fact that he could leave hickeys on his lover without worrying about them being seen for the time being.

 

 

 

 

***********

 

**MX squad**

 

 

JHoney: won, did you take my cap again? ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ

 

WonHo: ?!

WonHo: i have not Once taken any of your caps!

 

JHoney: i didn’t ask you!?

 

H.One: no.

H.One: 

 

 

Ki.HamD: one of these days, we’re gonna HAVE to use different short-names for the 2won…

 

JHoney: bitch that is MY cap on your filthy head!! (ノ°益°)ノ

 

H.One: i do not know what you are talking about…

 

WonHo: how can you go to starbucks without me? (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 

H.One: i did not.

H.One: this is an old and empty one i found at the trash can.

H.One: i would never betray the love of my life like that.

 

WonHo: …

WonHo: YOU JUST POSTED THIS PHOTO ON TWITTER WITH THE STARBUCKS LOCATION!

 

H.One: someone must have hacked my account then. ┐(‘～` )┌

H.One: i would never steal hats nor go for drinks without my boyfriend.

 

JHoney: i WILL beat the shit out of this annoying kitten one day. 凸( ` ﾛ ´ )凸

 

WonHo: HEY!

WonHo: only I can call him ThaT!

 

WhaleMin: calm your titties.

WhaleMin: it’s not good for bunnies to get upset. (o˘◡˘o)

 

WonHo: shaking your puppy tail for your boyfriend, min?

 

WhaleMin: there’s no need for that.

WhaleMin: i have full access to his pants whenever i want. ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ

 

JHoney: i’m feeling attacked right now… (￢_￢;)

 

WhaleMin: it’s true tho…

 

JHoney: i know (⌒_⌒;)

JHoney: I’m all yours my minmin (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ ) ♡

 

Ki.HamD: ugh ew ew ew ewwww (╯°益°)╯彡┻━┻

Ki.HamD: take those disgusting conversations elsewhere.

Ki.HamD: won, aren’t you supposed to be at the meeting rn?

Ki.HamD: why are you texting?!

 

ShoBearNu: *sigh*

 

WhaleMin: which won are you referring to?

 

Ki.HamD: well, wonho, he had a meeting with the ceo..

 

H.One: i had a meeting too <(_ _)>

H.One:

 

WhaleMin: you had a meeting with that starbucks in your hand, didn’t you?

 

H.One: yes(≧◡≦) ♡

  
WhaleMin: (￣ ￣|||)

WhaleMin: i know him too well…

 

JHoney: people are having REaL meetings with their bosses or their employees and then there’s this turtle having a date with his starbucks wearing mY caP

 

H.One: hey!

H.One: i didn’t get this sulky when you took my contact lenses!

 

JHoney: Those were mY contacts that you stole!!

JHoney: I just took them BaCk ((╬◣﹏◢))

 

Ki.HamD: just to be clear, those contacts originally belonged to me.

 

ShoBearNu: then why were they at jooheon’s?!

 

Ki.HamD: well… good question!

Ki.HamD: why do my cleaning materials always end up in either Min or your place?

Ki.HamD: you all are a bunch of thieves and you know it.

 

ShoBearNu: *siiiigh*

 

WhaleMin: oh for fuck’s sake, use the damn emoji hyung!

 

ShoBearNu: emoji*sigh*emoji

 

WhaleMin: (ಠ_ಠ)

 

WhaleMin: where is my lil wolf tho?

WhaleMin: i haven’t heard from him in the last few days

 

WonHo: he hasn’t been talking to me since i left his birthday party

 

WhaleMin: that reminds me…

WhaleMin: WHAT THE FUCK SHIN WONHO

WhaleMin: why the fuck couldn’t you suck it up for like three hours????

 

WonHo: guys, i think our ceo is possessed

 

WhaleMin: well, i wasn’t really expecting an answer to my question in the first place knowing him, but getting ignored still can hurt even if you’ve gotten used to it.

 

Ki.HamD: min…… let’s not do this rn

 

H.One: what happened babe?

 

WonHo: first of all, you owe me a starbucks.

WonHo: second, i was expecting some shouting or angry words of some sort for just not going to schedules and stuff like that

WonHo: BuT! instead!! he told me he’s finally letting me release ‘shoot out’ as a single in the next 10 days!! they’re gonna release the teaser after the court!!

 

H.One: REALLY??? omg!!! Finally!!!

 

WonHo: IKR! i’ve had that song since forever (along with the whole goddamn album) but he’s finally being the nice person a ceo has to be and letting me release it. he even said, we’ll be releasing the album after the single’s promotions finish ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

  
Ki.HamD: why didn’t he let you release it months ago when you were supposed to?

 

WonHo: he was busy promoting our new girl group

  
ShoBearNu: why not putting shoot out in the album and releasing them all at once?!

 

JHoney: shoot out was supposed to be a single from the start and it features two rappers, so it’s best not to be put in the album

 

WhaleMin: who were those rappers again?

 

WonHo: jackson and hyunbin

 

WhaleMin: oh! thanks for replying Mr.Shin!

 

ShoBearNu: Min.. !! ***sigh***

 

WhaleMin: aight then, i’ll be attending some paperwork now if you’ll excuse me

WhaleMin: bye bitches

WhaleMin: prince fabulous out.

 

JHoney: i have to go too. those songs won’t finish themselves.

JHoney: BriNg mY caP bacK turtle kitten.

JHoney: the baddest swag out.

 

Ki.HamD: (－‸ლ)

Ki.HamD: what am i ever gonna do with these toddlers

 

ShoBearNu: won, what time do we have to be at the court again?

 

Ki.HamD: which won?

 

ShoBearNu: doesn’t really matter actually..

 

H.One: 10 AM.

H.One: but it’s better if we go a bit sooner.

H.One: so that you and honey can talk to deahyun and get stuff sorted out

 

WonHo: we’re going there at 9.

 

Ki.HamD: i hope this whole thing finishes tomorrow and won’t be one of those long ass cases that just continue forever

 

WonHo: you haven’t met daehyun yet! it’ll be finished tomorrow. no worries.

 

Ki.HamD: you were always so fond of this guy! i always wondered why you didn’t ever date him!

 

WonHo: he is married to youngjae, remember!?

WonHo: and he is a top! what would be the use?!!!

 

H.One: ehem

 

WonHo: ♡ i love you ♡

 

H.One: clearly not as much as your lawyer

 

WonHo: baby!!

 

H.One: i’ll arrange you a date with him.

 

WonHo: pinkwonnieeeee

 

H.One: who knows, maybe he’ll like you enough to let you top..!

 

WonHo: kitten i’m sorrrrrryyyyyyy ｡･ﾟﾟ*(>д<)*ﾟﾟ･｡

 

H.One: don’t kitten me now.

 

WonHo: (｡•́︿•̀｡)

WonHo: i didn’t mean it like that (｡•́︿•̀｡)

 

H.One: eh…

 

WonHo: baaaabe!

WonHo: how can i make it up to you?

 

H.One: … (︶︹︺)

H.One: by letting me resume dancing.

H.One: and i won’t buy you starbucks.

 

WonHo: wait…

WonHo: did you just put up this whole act just so i would say yes to you resuming dancing?…

 

H.One: NO!

H.One: i was really hurt!

H.One: the audacity!!!!!!

 

WonHo: well, my answer is no.

WonHo: you can be mad at me in our home while being perfectly safe

 

ShoBearNu: won! you can’t not ‘Let’ him do stuff! he’s not a child.

 

WonHo: yeah but what happens if he trips and falls or something?

WonHo: or if some other crazy ass ‘fan’ decides they can get to me by hurting him?

WonHo: OR! if that maniac sends someone after him??

WonHo: i’m having enough stress right now knowing he’s at the starbucks ALONE

 

ShoBearNu: this is being over-protective and over-possessive and you know it.

ShoBEarNu: just because something happened once doesn’t mean it will happen again.

 

WonHo: yeah well it doesn’t mean it won’t happen again either.

WonHo: either way, it’s a no until he fully heals and after that i might be getting him a bodyguard.

 

Ki.HamD: just ignore him hyungwon.

Ki.HamD: you can always go back to dancing whenever you want.

Ki.HamD: he can’t tie you up or lock you in or anything.

 

WonHo: well………….

 

Ki.HamD: JESUS WONHO! for the hundredth time i do NOT need to know about your sex life. why do we have these two horny freaky couples as our friends!?

 

ShoBearNu: tying people up is not necessarily a freaky thing to do.

ShoBearNu: it can be very pleasurable. try it sometime.

 

Ki.HamD: yeah thanks for the suggestion dad!

 

WonHo: aaaah you were this close to call him daddy :(((

 

Ki.HamD: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Ki.HamD: i’m gonna go chop some eggplants hoping they were yall’s dicks

 

WonHo: & then when you cook & taste them, you’ll be tasting our dicks (*^.^*)

 

Ki.HamD: fuck you. i’m out.

 

WonHo: lololololol

 

ShoBearNu: i wonder…

ShoBearNu: have you noticed that your boyfriend had been silent while you were teasing kihyun?

 

WonHo: oh shit! gotta go make my kitten love me again!

WonHo: i’ll see you tomorrow then. byeee

 

 

 

 


	65. Sixty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hello annyeong~  
> WE WON TWO AWARDS TODAY AT AAA!!!!! WHERE ARE MY PROUD MONBEBE AT??? i loved what they were wearing! omg they are so handsome :']  
> also IU won, toooooo. i was just happy today!!! all my faves won!  
> anyways, who's up for some dramarama?

My Won

‘ where are you? ‘

 

 

hyungwon rolled his eyes after seeing wonho’s message and placed his phone on the table next to him. he had come to the hospital to talk to himchan about the latter’s condition and now was having a drink with the head doctor and kai.

“ but when are you planning on making it official?” kai asked taking a sip from his coffee.

“ we are official!” hyungwon replied confused. he had told kai before about their relationship.

“ i mean to the public. to his fans.” hyungwon nodded in understanding.

“ i wanted to keep it a secret for as long as possible but they saw us yesterday at the court and they have already recognized me in the photos i had taken with other guys.” he sighed “ these fans are better than Fbi at gathering info i tell you that!” himchan giggled.

“ you knew what you were signing up for from the start.” he said

“ of course. the only reason i wanted to keep it to ourselves was for something like this Not happening. now that this has happened, i think it’s only best we, as kai said, make it official. wonho went to his company to discuss it with his managers and ceo.” both men nodded repeatedly.

“ so, the case is closed now? completely?” the nurse asked. hyungwon hummed.

“ he didn’t really have a lawyer so daehyun won the case pretty easily.”

“ how many years did they give him?”

“ 3. but he can come out if he behaves well. i low-key wanted them to give him more. that way won would be safe for a bit longer.”

“ it’s naive of you to think there’s only one person with that kind of behavior out there hyungwon. you should know better.” himchan said while placing his cup on the table carefully. he crossed his legs and intertwined his fingers together, placing the palms over his knee.

“ for now, let’s focus on wonho’s condition. hearing actual voices in head is somewhat serious but you also said that it hadn’t happened for many years until it came back recently. so if he is busy or at ease it doesn’t happen. if he was here, we would try to trigger him under enough observation to know the exact details but you’re alone there so let’s just keep the eyes open for the behavioral patterns.”

“ what makes me confused, is that he had passed the whole accident and minhyuk getting injured and then the break up without hearing the voices. i just can’t understand why he would be triggered with something as minor as this.”himchan shook his head.

“ you’re wrong. it might appear minor to you but for him it must have been serious enough to make them come alive again. i think, and i’m talking only from what you told me, that he is traumatized.”

“ by what exactly? so many things have happened to him..” hyungwon said as he leaned a bit closer, listening thoroughly.

“ i think by the accident. he almost lost minhyuk. people are always stronger the first time something happens but the times after that has them weak because they have experienced the pain and the horror. so when you got attacked, all the fear of losing a loved one and the guilt came back to him when he was the weakest. the second time he went through a similar episode, again, was because of trauma. a different kind but he had been at his lowest power so it got triggered again.”

“ makes enough sense.” hyungwon said as he kept biting on his bottom lip. he felt kai patting him on the shoulder from next to him.

“ he’s gonna be fine hyungwon. he has you. you’re one of the best doctors i’ve worked with. just do according to what himchan told you and he’ll be perfectly fine.”

 

 

 

 

wonho had gone to the company to discuss some matters concerning hyungwon with both jongup and the ceo. when he had left in the morning, he had especially told hyungwon to be careful and to not go anywhere unless there’s someone with him. the fans had somewhat guessed who hyungwon was and it wasn’t safe for him to go out alone. the reporters and paparazzi were everywhere, trying to figure out the reason they were at the court the day before. he spent a fair amount of time discussing the matters with the company, mind at ease thinking his boyfriend is safe at home. when he came back and saw the apartment empty, the first thing he did was calling hyungwon but the latter didn’t pick up. he called shownu to see if he was at the dance school but he wasn’t. a couple more times calling and he was about to lose his mind. his last resort was to send a message, hoping he would get an answer but the latter hadn’t even opened it. he checked the social media to see whether there was any reports or photos taken of the younger but there was nothing. that was a relief meaning he wasn’t caught by the crazy people, or at least not yet. to everyone else’s eyes, he was being over-sensitive, over-protective, over-everything but he had seen what anti-fans and some very crazy fans were able to do. he had received weird stuff, death threats, all sorts of things that he never told any of his friends about, not wanting to make them concerned. he decided he would wait for another hour before going out to search for him. walking back and forth around the place, he kept on looking out the glass wall in hopes of seeing his lover and after around 50 minutes he did. he saw hyungwon’s car coming close and then disappearing in the entrance of the building where he couldn’t see him anymore. all the concern and helplessness he had felt during the past hour was being replaced by anger by the second and there was nothing he could do to stop the process.

 

 

 

 

hyungwon looked at his phone when he walked out of the hospital and saw wonho’s 8 missed calls and panicked. his phone hadn’t even vibrated and it hadn’t shown the missed calls on display when he saw the notification of the message. maybe that was why he hated technology so much. they always tend to get wrecked in the sensitive times. pushing his phone back into his pocket and running to his car, he drove at full speed to get home as fast as possible and hope the older wasn’t having yet another panic attack.

 

 

tapping his fingers on the elevator wall, he kept looking at the digits showing the floors as it kept going higher. finally arriving at the 21st floor, he ran out and to the door. he took off his shoes, not caring to place them neatly and walked inside in fast steps, looking for the older. wonho was standing by the glass wall with his phone in hand by his side and the other hand in his pocket.

hyungwon closed the distance, a bit hesitant in his last couple of steps, as he knew if the other wasn’t having an episode, he would be upset as hell. letting a small gap remain between them, he stopped behind the older and reached out his hand to touch the other’s shoulder.

“ babe, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to ignore your calls. my phone didn’t make any sound. it’s not even on vibrate. the stupid device.” his fingers tightened on the older’s shoulder, wanting to get closer but knowing better. wonho was the type of person you had to give the space to unlike himself who wanted others to get close to him. wonho was more like his sister than he had guessed at the start.

wonho didn’t move. after a few seconds of silence, he heard the low tired voice finally breaking the ice. “ where were you?”

“ i… “ he hesitated. he didn’t wanna lie but he also didn’t wanna make the other uncomfortable telling him about sharing his condition with himchan.

“ i went to see himchan.” he decided it was best to tell the truth as lying was #1 on the not-to-do things for the latter.

wonho turned around slowly, face expression unable to be read and looked at him for a couple moments. hyungwon’s hand was still on it’s place. wonho raised the hand that had the phone in and unlocked it. hyungwon was about to ask what he was doing when his phone suddenly started ringing in his pocket. looking down at his pocket and up at wonho again, he frowned his eyebrows.

“ seems to work perfectly fine.” wonho said as he looked at him from under his black bangs that covered his forehead. “ this-“ he moved his own phone in his hand in front of hyungwon’s face “ is for telling people where you’re going the times you’re not supposed to be going out.” he took a step forward, making hyungwon take one back and taking his hand down. “ this is for answering the calls or the messages you receive. but what’s the use of it when you decide to ignore it as easy as that.” he threw the phone away, it hit with a loud sound somewhere on the ground and making hyungwon flinch at the sudden unexpected action.

“ what are you doing! i told you, it didn’t ring for me.” wonho looked almost scary and hyungwon was not liking the look on his face at all. he placed his palms on the older’s chest, not wanting him to get close to him at this point and pulling his serious face on in response.

“ i told you not to go anywhere. i told you to stay at home until i got back.” it was like wonho was controlling himself from breaking things. hyungwon’s raised his eyebrow a bit.

“ i’m a grown man. if i wanna go somewhere, i will. i think you misunderstood things when i didn’t go to the dance school after you telling me not to. i’m not someone who does only as he’s told.” wonho’s face finally changed from the emotionless expression to something that resembled…hurt? hyungwon watched as the older looked directly into his eyes back and forth and bit his bottom lip shortly before chuckling. wonho looked at the ceiling, taking a deep breath and looking at the palms that were on his chest before his eyes settled on hyungwon’s again.

“ you think i want you to obey me? that’s the kind of person you think i am after spending so much time together?“ hyungwon could swear he could see the other’s eyes getting a bit teary before he stepped away and turned his back at him, looking out the windows again.

“so? what did the big doctor say? did you tell him how crazy your boyfriend is? hearing things and everything. has he diagnosed me with schizophrenia yet? ” there was a bitter tone in the way he spoke. it made hyungwon’s blood start boiling.

“ schizophrenia? no! what are you even talking about!” he said louder than he intended. hyungwon closed the gap again and turned wonho around by force, keeping him in place by having his hands on either of biceps and looking at him deep in the eye.

“ listen to me. listen to me carefully because i’m only saying this once. you are not crazy. don’t you hate labels? why are you labeling yourself absent-mindedly by schizophrenia then?” he paused a bit to see if the other would say anything but when he didn’t he continued with a softer tone.

“ yes i talked to himchan because like it or not, he is a genius at his job and i love you so much, i wanted to get his opinion in ways i could help you get rid of those voices that live in your head.” wonho wanted to move but hyungwon kept him in place by all the strength he had. wonho’s frown deepened.

“ do i think you want me to obey you? what do you want me to say? i know you’re worried but this isn’t the way to deal with the situation. i was in my car, perfectly fine and safe. i was the one saying we should keep our relationship a secret in order to play safe. i’m not some kid that can’t understand danger. if i thought it would be harmful to me in any way, i would stay at home. i don’t need anyone telling me what’s best for me.” his voice was firm as he really needed the other to understand. he had played along with the older’s protectiveness but he was really starting to have enough of it.

“ are you done?” wonho said as if he had been talking to a wall.

“ No i’m not fucking done.” he yelled and shook wonho by his grip before letting him go roughly. “ what the fuck is wrong with you? i just didn’t answer some calls and you’re being like This?” he gestured towards wonho. “ you wanna clash phones? fine, let’s clash them.” he took his own phone out and did the same thing as the older, throwing it nowhere special as the same hitting sound echoed in the living room. wonho didn’t even flinch, he just kept staring at him through it all.

“ now what? should we start breaking things?” he paused, looking at the man who was just standing there without any reaction what-so-ever.

“ you think i’m not stressed by this whole situation? you think i didn’t die each second during these past few days, thinking your whole carrier would be over because of dating me? or let’s talk about this now that we are on the topic of cell-phones.” he exhaled harshly and crossed his arms on his chest. “ who have you been texting lately?”

 

 

wonho’s face fell as the question left hyungwon’s mouth. his lips parted and his eyes widened in disbelief. he couldn’t believe what the younger was suggesting. he finally found his voice to talk again although his heart felt like it was being crushed in a tight fist.

“ ji-eun… i’ve been texting ji-eun.” he pressed his lips together as he could feel his eyes starting to burn. hyungwon chuckled and looked to the side, shaking his head.

“ hyu-hyungwon… do you think i’m having some kind of an affair?” his voice broke in the middle, quiet and hard to hear. he was even afraid of hearing his own voice saying those words. hyungwon didn’t answer his question, instead he shot him another one.

“ what do you talk about with her?” wonho swallowed a couple times before answering.

“ i’ve been talking to her about my,,uh,, my thoughts. the things i hear in my head or the,,the stuff that was going on these days.”

“ and you think i’m supposed to feel better than you having an affair right now?” hyungwon asked with a sarcastic grin.

“ huh?!” wonho asked, not understanding what the other meant at all.

“ what am i to you really? why do you not talk to me, us, your friends about the things that concern and bother you, instead of some nurse you met just few days ago?” hyungwon felt helpless as he let his hands fall to his sides and sighed “ why do you always distant yourself when things get a bit serious…” it was quiet for a while, only the sound of the clock ticking breaking the silence.

“ i don’t wanna make you worried. i don’t,, i don’t wanna put the weigh of my thoughts on your shoulders.” wonho looked down as hyungwon looked up at him.

“ and you can put the weight on her?” they looked at each other’s eyes again after minutes of avoiding each other’s gaze.

“ no! no stupid. that’s why i can talk to her easily. she doesn’t know me. she won’t get worried like you or the other guys do. she just listens to what i have to say and then let’s go, continuing her job. if i tell you, it’ll consume your entire brain until you come up with some sort of a solution. you have enough on your plate as it is. i don’t wanna add to you or others’ worries.”

“ what the fuck are friends for then? what does even a relationship mean if you put it that way?”he paused “ won, i… i can’t think right now. i think i wanna be alone for a bit.” he turned around, walking towards the entrance as he felt a hand stopping him.

“ no, stay. i’ll go. just,,, please. i’ll leave. it’s safer for you to be here.” hyungwon was about to say something but wonho interrupted him.

“ i’m not being over-protective. you’ll end up in some bar and get drunk and it can’t happen right now. i’m saying it in concern for my own carrier, okay? so stay. i’ll come back tomorrow.” he said slowly before letting go of hyungwon’s hand and walking towards the door.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... my brain is half-dead today-literally-  
> i hope i didn't have any mistakes in typing or grammar or the whole plot and stuff...........


	66. Sixty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey~  
> i'm thinking about posting a full smut chap at chapter number 69 later on :D but idk yet... i don't really write smut that well, nor do i like writing it as it always ends up being not so normal... :/  
> anyways, did you know leaving comments add to the author's lifespan? lol !!! but seriously though! i write stories for my own good, just wanting to let it out of my mind and all, BuT! it would be good to know what ya'll think reading them!

wonho threw the keys on the table as he let himself fall on the chair. he came to his studio after he had left the house earlier, wanting to be alone as well.

he leaned back, making the chair go lower as he threw his hand on over his eyes and groaned. it was their first fight and wonho hated everything about it. he didn’t even know why he had become so angry in the first place. he was so fucking worried about his lover and then in a blink of an eye he was as angry as he could be, although he had controlled it for the most part. he had heard a few times that he was scary when he became ‘really’ angry and he didn’t wanna be that kind of person towards hyungwon. he had to change. hyungwon deserved so much better than the treatment he had given him.

thinking about their argument, he found every turn it took, wrong. he should have turned around, run to the door and hugged the younger instead of this mess. now his boyfriend even thought he was some douchebag who wanted him to obey whatever he said and even questioned his infatuation with him, asking if he was anything to him at all. suddenly he was feeling really tired so he just switched his place to the comfortable chair at the corner of the studio, changed it so he could lie down and closed his eyes, falling asleep surprisingly not long after.

 

 

 

 

hyungwon stood there processing everything. he couldn’t believe that wonho had really walked out of the door. he was really going to just get a drink from the coffee shop across the building, have some fresh air and come back, fight or talk about it until they had solved everything. but then, he could use some alcohol in him right now and maybe wonho was right assuming he would end up in a bar. either way, he was now standing in the middle of the living room, alone. turning around, he saw their two phones on the ground. wonho’s phone was in one piece but his own has been divided to two pieces, the battery no-where to be found. he sighed as he started looking under the furniture for it. he should really buy a new one.

finding the battery and standing up, his eyes went dark for a second due to the blood rush and he had to grab the closest thing not to fall down. only it resulted in one of their photo-frames falling down and it’s glass shattering. it was one of the photos wonho had taken the day they had confessed to each other on the beach. hyungwon suddenly missed the older to death. the desire to just run after him, hug him and never let go crawled under his skin. but he ignored it. they needed time apart to calm down and then talk things through when they weren’t as tense.

he picked up every last piece of the shattered glass carefully from the ground, and then vacuumed the whole living room, not wanting the smaller pieces to go unseen. wonho tended to walk bare-foot sometimes and that would be dangerous.

 

 

 

 

it was 3 AM when wonho woke up due to some shuffling behind the door. walking there and looking through the peephole, he saw the night guard. he ran his fingers through his hair to make it less messy before opening the door.

“ oh,,, hey mr. shin. i thought there was some sort of a thief in your studio.” the guard said looking taken aback.

“ nah just me. why are you surprised? i’m always here.” he rubbed the back of his neck. he must have fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position.

“ you haven’t been at this place as much as you used to be these past months. you haven’t stayed overnight even once for like 6 months.” wonho blinked at him in confusion at the realization that he, in fact, had been spending most of his time at the studio he had at home instead of his professional place. ‘that’s the kind of power hyungwon holds.’ he chuckled to himself.

“ thank you for being so careful. i really appreciate it. i’ll be staying here tonight so no worries.” he patted the guard on the shoulder and smiled at him before saying goodbye.

as he turned around, he looked at the studio he used to spend his days and weeks in without the desire to go out. but there was something wrong. it felt really empty now. he still loved making music and singing and dancing but… being alone there like that just didn’t feel right anymore. he felt like he was the only remaining person on the whole planet in the silence of the acoustic room.

his head filled with words, a melody. a sad but beautiful one and he rushed to the table, sat down and grabbed a pen to write it all down. maybe he could do what he’s best at, making songs, and let hyungwon know how he really felt about him through it.

 

he didn’t know what time it was, only that the sun was shining through the window after looking up when he finished and saved the file. he stretched his body and yawned. standing up, he was about to go lie back down when he heard the bell ringing. he was so tired he didn’t even bother checking who it was first and just opened the door. it was hyungwon, his hyungwon, standing there with his big eyes and parted lips. before he could say anything he was pushed inside and the door was closed by a loud bang behind the younger. hyungwon was upset.

“ do you have any fucking idea how many places i have searched for you until it crossed my mind that you workaholic asshole would just be here??” to say that wonho was shocked was an understatement. he had told the latter that he would come back tomorrow so what was it all about.

“ why would you search for me? i told you i’d come back tomorrow. it’s still ‘tomorrow’ “ hyungwon looked at him with narrowed eyes.

“ you have no idea what time it is, do you?” wonho raised his eyebrows and turned around to see the time on the screen. it was 5PM. he had worked on the song for 14 hours straight without eating or anything. now he knew why hyungwon was that upset. he was supposed to go to the house in the morning. that’s what he had intended on doing.

turning back to hyungwon, he bit his bottom lip as he couldn’t find any excuses.

“ i’m sorry… i was working on this song and i completely lost track of time.” he didn’t know how much the other must have worried.

“ you’re funny, you know? going all berserk on me for not answering my phone and then leaving without having your phone with you in the first place.” the younger took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on the table before looking at the screen.

“ is the song at least worth the years that had been taken away from my lifespan due to this mess?” he said in a much softer tone. wonho smiled and took hyungwon’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers together and looking into the younger’s eyes, he hummed.

“ i made it for you. like all the other songs i’ve been making recently. but this one, i think you’ll like it as it was meant to deliver the things i can’t deliver while simply talking.” hyungwon’s body relaxed a bit at the touch as he listened to him thoroughly.

“ play it then.”

“ no, first, let’s talk.” he let go of the younger’s hand and walked to the comfortable chair, sitting on the edge of it and gesturing for hyungwon to sit on the other chair. after hyungwon sat down, he took a deep breath and started talking.

“ hyungwon, i’m sorry for snapping like that yesterday. i was worried to death and you not answering made the worst thoughts cross my mind. it didn’t matter that you were in your car, if someone wants to hurt you, they will find a way. daehyun found out about something that i didn’t wanna let you know but since i’m being accused of being a douchebag, i’m gonna tell you.” standing half-way and taking the phone off the table, he sat back down and searched through the gallery. he found the picture he was looking for and gave his phone to hyungwon.

“ he is the maniac’s brother. ever since the police had caught the guy who attacked you, his brother has been sending death threats of all sorts to me. he said if i didn’t agree on taking the charges back, he would hurt you. i was pretty much losing my mind over it until daehyun suggested to just keep you inside and double the security of the building. that’s why i’ve insisted on you not going out alone.” hyungwon looked at the picture and back at the older in shock with eyes as wide as they could get while biting on the corner of his lips with a deep frown.

“ but,,, why didn’t you say anything?” his voice was hesitant as he couldn’t understand why the older would rather come off like that instead of telling him the truth.

“ you were pretty shaken as it was. i didn’t wanna make you more stressed out than you already were.” wonho looked down at his hands, picking on the rough skin of his palms while answering. hyungwon pressed his lips together and smiled a bit. he put the phone on the table behind him as he leaned closer and took the older’s hands in his.

“ you don’t have to keep it all to yourself. we are in a relationship together. if you don’t wanna tell the guys, i’m not gonna force you but with me it should be different.” as wonho didn’t react, hyungwon removed on of his hands from the older’s and cupped his face, making him look up.

“ i want you to talk to me. i wanna be the one you can rely on when you’re feeling down or stressed. up to now, you’ve always hidden the ugly things from me. i don’t want you to do that anymore. i know, i understand that you do this to protect me but…” he paused, looking deep into his lover’s eyes that were looking back at him, looking so pure and innocent. “ but i’m not really as fragile as you think. i can take it. so please just share what you need to share, even the things you don’t feel the need to, i love to hear it all, to know it all. i hated that stupid fight we had yesterday.” he winced remembering it and tightened his hand around the older’s. the latter smiled and rubbed the skin of his hand with his thumb as he mumbled ‘me too’

“ look, the thing is..” he caressed wonho’s cheek with his thumb shortly before removing his hand and standing up. wonho followed his every movement with his eyes as he closed the small distance and crawled on the older’s lap, placing his legs on either side of his thighs. wonho was surprised at the act and grabbed hyungwon’s slim waist as he leaned back further on the chair for hyungwon to have more space and be more comfortable on his lap. “ the thing is-“ hyungwon brushed the black bangs away from the older’s eyes as he continued talking. “ i’m a very jealous boyfriend. i don’t like you constantly texting other people. especially when they are as sweet and pretty as ji-eun… or jackson.” wonho grinned at the mention of the two people.

“ are you sure you’re not the one finding them attractive instead of me?” wonho teased the boy on his lap as he pulled the thin limbs closer to his body, caressing his hand up and down his sides. the question earned him a slap at his bicep.

“ not funny!” hyungwon pouted. “ you’re a celebrity. a very hot one. and there are all these hot people around you. you can’t blame me for being jealous or cautious…” he looked to the side with the pout still on his lips, making them even plumper than they already were. wonho chuckled seeing the whole scene and he couldn’t help it anymore as he took hyungwon’s chin with his index finger and thumb, turning his face back at himself.

“ they may be hot, pretty and whatever else you wanna call them, but they’re not you. i only love you and there’s no-one in the whole world who is hotter or prettier than you.” he closed the gap between their faces and kissed the deliciously pouted lips. he pressed his own closed lips on hyungwon’s, feeling the soft texture under his own as he inhaled through his nose. the smell of hyungwon’s cologne clouded his mind. it felt like he hadn’t kissed his lover for a thousand years. he wanted to just keep kissing him for the eternity in hopes of making up for the one day they had missed. hyungwon shifted on his lap, circled his arms around the other’s neck and pressed his body flush against wonho’s. the latter was fast to react as he circled one of his hands around his waist and the other at the back of his head, pulling him even closer as he deepened the kiss. they kissed for a long time before hyungwon started rolling his hips on wonho’s crotch, making the older exhale roughly at the action. smiling to himself as he had wonho where he wanted him, he placed his palms on the older’s chest, pushing him backwards until he was lying down on the chair with hyungwon sitting on him. wonho was looking up at him, biting his lip and his hands helping him in the movement of his hips. hyungwon removed his hands from the other’s chest and grabbed his lover’s hands in his, intertwined their fingers and moved them above wonho’s head, keeping them there as he leaned down and attached their lips together again for a couple of minutes. moving on despite of not having enough of the older’s curved lips, he placed feather-like kisses on the porcelain-like skin of his neck. wonho let a breathy moan escape his mouth as he closed his eyes and tilted his head, baring more space for hyungwon to ravish. the soft kisses changed into small bites and wonho’s fingers tightened around hyungwon’s above his head. wonho really wanted to just spin them around and have his own way with hyungwon but it was better to give the younger full-control from time to time when he wanted it. like right now. he could tell that hyungwon wanted to be in control this time. he just had to be patient and play along with his lover’s never-ending teasing and the painfully slow acts. he even deserved it all after putting the beautiful gorgeous dancer through so much.

 

***

 

they were lying on the big comfy chair, calming down from their highs. hyungwon was basically on top of wonho still and the older kept caressing the smooth skin of his back with a light touch of his fingertips.

after a while of nothing but silence, wonho spoke up.

“ hyungwon” the younger hummed lazily, probably already half asleep.

“ do you wanna become one of my dancers?” hyungwon was fast at sitting up and looking at him with big eyes.

“ w-what? “ wonho pushed his body up on his elbows.

“ i’ve been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now. i even talked with our management yesterday. they have seen your dance already and they love you.”

“ but… i mean, we were planning on telling your fans about our relationship. wouldn’t I becoming your dancer make things awkward publically?

“ why would it be awkward?” wonho raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“ because we would be a couple dancing and performing together and stuff. i don’t want you to lose fans because of appearing ‘too gay’ or something.”wonho burst out laughing and reached out to grab hyungwon’s arm that held his body up, pulling him back into his arms.

“ it won’t be too gay. fans are used to this kind of act. boy groups are always doing gay-ish stuff on stage so you don’t have to be worried about that. i bet they’re even gonna love it and want us to show them more. i just wanna have you with me 24/7 and now that i’m gonna be releasing new songs and all, the tours are gonna start again and i really Really don’t wanna leave you here.but it’s really up to you.”

“ i’ll… i’ll think about it….”


	67. Sixty Seven

wonho had been standing in front of the door for about 5 minutes now. his head was already hurting and he really didn’t wanna ring the bell, but he had to. he had been trying to get in contact with his brother for the past few days but the latter seemed to be really upset with him this time after he had left his birthday party the other day. he hadn’t even gone to any of their friends’ houses, he just seemed to really not want to see the older.

as much as wonho didn’t like his mother, he still had to fix things with changkyun cuz he simply loved him. so that had led him to one solution, he had to go to their house, cuz changkyun despite being 22 years old, still didn’t have his own place.

sucking a deep breath in, he gathered himself and rang the bell at last. a few seconds passed before the door was opened and wonho couldn’t believe he was actually going to step foot in there by his very own will. as soon as he went inside and closed the door silently behind him, he saw mr.shin coming at his way with a smile on his face. how this man ended up with his mother he would never know.

“ son! it’s a surprised to see you here. come in, come in.” he was welcomed by a strong pat on his back and the very hand held on his shoulder and led him inside almost as if the man was scared wonho would flee at any second.

going in, he spotted his mother coming out of the kitchen and that was it as he turned his whole body towards mr.shin.

“ is kyun home?” he knew he would be home at this hour on a wednesday, studying his butt off but he still had to ask. he couldn’t go around people’s house just like that. yes, it was the house he spent some of his years in, but it’s not like he had ever considered it a home. he was really more comfortable at the hospital than this house. maybe it was because that place had hyungwon in it? ‘aaah, let’s not think about your boyfriend for one second, just one freaking second of not thinking about him wouldn’t kill.’ he said in his head or rather he heard in his head, either way he ignored it. thinking about the beautiful boy always made him calm down anyway so that voice could go fuck itself. 

“ yes, he’s in his room.” mr.shin answered a little bit taken aback by wonho standing face to face with him. the man was still taller but there was a look of adoration in his eyes when he looked at the top of wonho’s head back to his eyes. 

 

mr.shin was secretly coo-ing over how grown up wonho had become compared to the first time he saw him. this was really the first time, the younger was standing so close, looking at him with a not-annoyed face. he had always tried to get close to him but there had always been this wall separating them, adding to the fact that he was almost never home and then he ran out as soon as he got the chance. when his wife had become pregnant, he was seriously worried about the way wonho would react to the news but he was shocked when the years passed and he witnessed the endless love the older had shown changkyun. he would always be there for him, one call away, whenever the kid was in need of help or support of any sort.

 

“ okay, thank you.” wonho said politely and turned toward the stairs but as he was going to take the first step up, he felt a hand on his arm, holding him weakly. he turned his head a bit to see a not-so-clear sight of his mother.

“ i’m sorry.” the woman said in a voice that didn’t really have much emotion in it or that’s how wonho felt.

“ no you’re not.” he pulled his hand away from his mother’s grip and ran upstairs.

knocking on the door with the sign ‘ welcome to my world ‘ actually carved on it, he didn’t wait for permission before going in.

changkyun had his headphones on, towering on a pile of books, deeply concentrated he hadn’t even noticed wonho coming in.

wonho stood there for a few seconds for the older to notice him but he decided he had no choice but to tap on the latter’s shoulder that would probably scare him to death. but on second thought… he took his phone out and typed a message.

 

changkyun saw his phone screen lit up from the corner of his eyes. it was a message, a short one, from his brother: ‘ behind you’ he read confused and looked behind himself, his soul jumping out of his body when he saw the broad figure of the asshole brother standing there with a wide grin on his face. he took the headphones off and let it fall on his shoulders as he frowned. “ what made your grace come to this hunted house?” 

 

wonho had actually expected a much more sarcastic comment on him being there so he wasn’t bitter really cuz to him this house really was like a hunted one. hunted by his past and all the stuff related to it.

“ you’ve been ignoring my calls, i had to come to discipline your rude ass a bit.” changkyun rolled his eyes and closed the book he had been practically eating, before turning his chair completely at the older’s direction who was still standing in the middle of the giant room.

“ why would i answer? it’s not like you care.” he said with a deep frown, remembering how his brother had just left after having arrived a mere minute.

wonho pressed his lips together and stared at him.

“ i had my own reason.” taking a few steps to the side to sink down on the chair next to the shelf with the many anime-figures, he took a Kakashi one and smiled, looking at it.

“ you still have this!” changkyun’s frown didn’t disappear, it only deepened. he stood up and closed the distance between them, stopping a mere step away and taking the figure out of wonho’s hand, putting it back at it’s place before crossing his arms on his chest and looking down at wonho.

“ of course i do, you bought it for me with your first paycheck. what is the reason for you abandoning your own brother at the very day of his birth?” 

wonho wanted to punch himself for not having thought of a logical reason and he hated lying so he couldn’t come up with some stupid story either so he decided on saying a part of the truth.

“ mom invited someone she knew i didn’t wanna be around.”

“ you don’t wanna be around so many people i wonder if you end up dying alone at some far away land.” he sighed and went back to sit at his chair.

“ hey! that was harsh! and also not true! i don’t hate that many people. i just don’t wanna be around the ones i do hate.” he shrugged.

“ like you don’t wanna be around mom?” wonho looked at him for a moment. he never really talked about the reasons why they don’t get along with the younger. he didn’t wanna give him any reason to not like her, he was having a good family life and wonho wanted to keep it that way.

“ i don’t hate her, i just… we just always end up fighting and i don’t wanna fight cuz i don’t wanna disrespect her. and when we do fight, mr.shin and you end up getting hurt as well, which is also something i don’t want.” he sighed and got up by putting his hands on his thighs for help. his knee hunted a bit from the day before when he had fallen during the dance practice but no-one needed to know that.

“ do you have a test or an assignment tomorrow?” changkyun shook his head.

“ good, cuz we’re having a small party for you at ki’s place. get ready and let’s go have some fun. i wanted to reserve you a stripper but in all honesty, i don’t know whether my own brother is into girls or boys so i left it for you to decide.” 

“ a stripper?! no freaking way! i’m a dedicated christian you sinful giant.” wonho laughed as his attempt of changing the mood had indeed worked. he knew there was no way changkyun would agree to have a stripper giving him a lap dance. but he really did want to know what his sexual preferences were. the younger just never seemed to want to talk about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ heeeey! i’ve missed our little wolfie.” hyungwon said as soon as they step foot in kihyun’s apartment with a bottle in his hand and hugged the ‘little wolfie’ as tight as possible that actually made changkyun cough and struggle to breathe.

“ i’ve missed you too hyung but i really can’t breath.” changkyun tapped on hyungwon’s forearm in hopes to get released. the taller did let go of him and hanged himself around wonho’s neck instead as he looked into the older’s eyes with his half-lidded ones. he was smiling like a fool and that smile made wonho feel butterflies in his stomach. he pinched hyungwon’s cheek and kissed the tip of his nose.

“ when did he manage to get this drunk and why did you let him?” he asked, looking past his boyfriend at hyungwoo and others who were waiting for them to come inside.

“ you know he’s a lightweight and he has clearly learned some sassiness from you cuz we honestly weren’t able to stop him from drinking.”

hyungwon giggled in his embrace as he hid his face in the crook of wonho’s neck, looking like a 2-year-old kid who just wants to be safe in his mother’s arms. wonho knew there was no way he could detach his boyfriend from himself ( and he didn’t want to ) so he just grabbed his thighs and made him jump up as he held him and went inside to sit on the sofa with hyungwon on his lap, head still hidden in his neck as he held the older tightly. wonho reached out and grabbed the bottle behind his head from hyungwon’s hand and put it on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“ where are the touchy couple?” he asked looking around for jooheon and minhyuk. changkyun who has been busy eating grapes only noticed his favorite hyung wasn’t even there.

“ did you make me come here when honey isn’t even around???” he whined.

kihyun flicked his forehead lightly “ they’re in that room. minhyuk was tired to death when he arrived a couple of hours ago and just collapsed on my bed and jooheon has been trying to wake him up for about 15 minutes now.” he paused and looked at the direction of his bedroom “ or at least that’s what i’m hoping is happening. if they make my sheets dirty, i WILL skin them both.” 

“ i’ll check on them.” changkyun said as he jumped up and ran to the room. he put his ear on the door first and then knocked quietly, but then opened the door with a fierce force, going in.

 he looked out of the room, stretching his neck “ they’re both asleep. should i jump on them?” wonho smirked and hyunwoo giggled while kihyun acknowledged him to do it. soon there was the sound of shouting and yelping in pain and surprise at the sudden attack and they all cracked up. even hyungwon lifted his head up to see what they were laughing about and chuckled upon seeing an annoyed jooheon tripping out of the bedroom.

“ i’m gonna kill you. just wait till i’m fully awake.” minhyuk groaned as he let himself sink on the sofa next to wonho and threw his hand over his eyes.

“ rough day?” the latter asked.

“ rough week, month, year, ugh, i’m thinking about selling it all and traveling the world instead.” a tired and upset minhyuk was a very moody one and you had to be careful when talking or else he would snap.

wonho left his left arm from around hyungwon’s waist and landed it on minhyuk’s thigh, squeezing gently.

“ i can always help in whatever way i can, you know. i know i no longer have any shares but it doesn’t mean i wouldn’t help.” minhyuk raised his hand from his eyes and looked at him from the side and then at a koala hyungwon attached to him before letting his hand fall on his eyes again, head resting on the sofa.

“ no you can’t. you have your own work and when you’re free, you have to spend time with that turtle koala frog or whatever he is, i’m not sure anymore.” he sighed as if it was a real struggle to know what animal hyungwon represented “ i’ll be fine, it’s just that i have accepted so many things at once and now i’m going insane.” wonho hummed and forgot that his hand was still on the latter’s thigh as they all turned around when they heard a scream from someway in the hallway, showing the fact that jooheon had taken their revenge from changkyun at last. and then they both walked into the living room with messy hair and clothes.

“ i swear to god all of you are just a bunch of 5-year-olds mentally and i’ll end up having to teach you the basics of human ways of interaction and you’ll never learn.” kihyun said with a smile he was trying so hard to hide. jooheon ended up with his head on minhyuk’s lap and legs hanging off the armrest of the sofa and changkyun moved on to biting shown’s arms, while shownu didn’t seem bothered by it one bit as they all started talking about this and that. not long after, wonho felt how hyungwon’s hand let go of his neck and traveled down, following the hand that wasn’t holding him. he grabbed his hand and took it off of minhyuk’s thigh, leading him to circle it back around him before he hugged his neck again.

wonho’s eyes widened a bit as he questioned in his head whether hyungwon was bothered by the fact that his hand was on minhyuk’s body or he had just wanted the hand back around him. looking around to see if anyone had seen it, he only found shownu looking at him with an unreadable expression and back at changkyun who still had no plan on stopping abusing his skin. finally, he placed his palm on the youngest’s forehead and pushed him away from his now quite-red bicep and took a beer can from the table.

wonho felt how hyungwon’s body shivered a bit. he let his hand travel under the younger’s shirt to see if he was cold and yes, hyungwon was freezing. it wasn’t that cold but wonho’s body temperature had always been higher so maybe it was cold. either way, he let hyungwon fall off his lap next to him on the sofa as he stood up to go get some blanket. when he came back, hyungwon was sitting there with his knees in his chest. he must have been really cold then. wonho covered him in the blanket and made a hyungwon burrito, snapping a picture from him right after as he kept on smiling sheepishly at how cute he was with his messy hair and his cute puffy face being the only part of his body on display.

“ what happened to the stripper?” hyungwon asked not noticing the photo his boyfriend had just taken.

“ changkyun had made a vow to die a virgin apparently, so no strippers.” he answered eyeing his brother from the side and sticking his tongue at him.

“ but why? sex is so good! you don’t even know what you’re missing! even jesus is pitying you right now. just get a girl or boy and fuck already.” his boyfriend said and everyone went quiet. a hyungwon who talked about sex as open as that was indeed a drunk one cuz a sober hyungwon was still shy talking about the topic. his little burrito boyfriend didn’t stop there and graced everyone with the unnecessary information about their sex life while pointing at him with his long bony index finger that he managed to bring out of the blanket, “ i’ve made him fuck me countless times the past few days cuz i have to save up for the time he’s away.” he pouted right after saying and blinked cutely with a light frown several times. everyone’s eyes landed on wonho and back at the many hickeys on hyungwon’s neck in sync like they were part of an orchestra.

“ wow, i do NoT know what to do with this information.” jooheon said fixing his shirt just for the sake of having done something. hyungwon turned towards him and laughed showing his beautiful set of white teeth.

“ you’re going somewhere?” minhyuk asked after hyungwon was done laughing.

“ yeah,” he replied while going by hyungwon’s side and squishing his face between his palms, moving his head and laughing at the cute boy that was his lover. “ the single will be out tomorrow and then we’ll immediately go to japan for a few days, i don’t know why exactly, but we’ll be promoting there first before here.”

“ huh! so that’s why he drank and went all koala on you again.” kihyun giggled taking a sip on his drink.

 “ he always gets drunk when you’re leaving and then over-works himself at the dance school.” shownu added, patting changkyun’s head that was now lying on his shoulder.

“ the pattern is like deja-vu to me.” changkyun simply stated and then went quiet right after at the realization of what he had just implied.

“ kyun, it’s your fault this supposed party is so boring, there were supposed to be some strippers around, giving us all lap dances and dance and twerk and everything, you’re such a party pooper nerd.” wonho huffed after a few moments of silence. 

“ it’s not my fault you all are perverts and know no other way to spend your time joyfully. besides, it’s not like hyungwon hyung would watch and let anyone give you a lap dance! he would murder the person who dares to even get near you!” he snorted and everyone seemed to force themselves to hide the giggles and smirks that wanted to appear on their faces.

“ we have two very creepy couples in our circle of friends, seeing ya’ll, i don’t even dare thinking about a relationship.” kihyun said while shaking his head.

“ hey! what’s wrong with us?!” jooheon protested looking offended.

“ you two are even more creepy than those two! i don’t even wanna know the kind of stuff you do and yes, i saw you picking up some random boy at the club the other night.” kihyun spat back and raised his eyebrow, knowing they would back down. jooheon looked panicked as he turned his head upward to look at minhyuk who seemed pretty unbothered.

“ well, we love experiencing new things, not everyone has a stick up their asses like you do.” minhyuk said and jooheon looked even more panicked now that his boyfriend had openly confirmed everything.

“ you guys do threesomes with total strangers?!” hyungwon squealed and made wonho jump as he had thought the younger had fallen asleep or something. he didn’t wait for an answer though as he pointed that same index finger at him again, this time it poked wonho’s cheek “ he won’t do it. he had done it already but won’t agree on doing a threesome with me.” his pronunciation was funny with how he was talking half-asleep and being totally wasted. it seemed that they were the ones making this party fun after all.

“ let the boy have a threesome wonho” minhyuk said with a smirk

“ yeah, why don’t you?” shownu joined the teasing squad

“ not you too, shownu!” wonho groaned and everyone burst out laughing.

“ you all will have a lot to answer for at the gates of the underworld.” changkyun said sighing roughly.

“ please! your spiritual attitude is nothing but a mask. you are the most creepy out of all of us! kihyun is the most saint one around here” jooheon said nonchalantly.

“ oh wow! i! am! offended!” changkyun held his hand to his chest dramatically and let his mouth hang open. 

the night went on with them teasing each other endlessly and laughing and then eventually someone started a game on tv and the usual game squad, including everyone except for shownu and wonho, joined it. hyungwon was a bit sober so he did his very best, trying to focus on the game console and the moves he had to do.

wonho and shownu were now talking to each other at the kitchen table, eating the ramen they had made for the two of them.

“ did you talk to him about joining the back-up dancers?” shownu asked

“ hmm, he said he would think about it. i wasn’t expecting him to be hesitant to be honest. i thought he would be all happy and jumping around or something.” wonho said while chewing and glancing towards his lover.

“ he should have his own reasons. actually, from what i saw tonight, the way he moved your hand from minhyuk and the other times i’ve witnessed similar situations, i think he’ll be pretty annoyed at your fans at the high-touch events and such.” 

“ i know… i was pretty shocked tonight, too. i mean, he had literally said he’s a jealous person right in my face but, i didn’t think this much. not that i’m complaining though. i kinda like,” he smiled to himself remembering the whole thing “ but, it could be a serious problem if he did join the dance crew.” he ran his finger through his hair “ i don’t know man, i just really want him by my side 24/7, i can’t even dare thinking about leaving him for days starting tomorrow. i just miss him too much.” shownu chuckled under his breath. “ what?!” wonho asked confused

“ nothing, just that it really is like deja-vu like kyunnie said.”

“ it’s not, okay? i know i’ve said all these stuff about min before and he even did the same thing, getting drunk and over-working, but the feelings are totally different. i’ve never felt as strong as i feel about hyungwon for anyone else. and he may do those things but he’s really much stronger than you guys think.” 

they were interrupted by a new voice talking  “ we know he’s strong, he went through all that stuff about his sister and you being you and everything, it’s just that neither one of us want the past to repeat itself, won. i’ve said it before but i’ll say it again. he is too innocent. take a very good care of him and give him all the attention in the world. don’t let him break the way i did.” minhyuk said as he poured himself a glass of water, on his way out of the kitchen he placed a hand on wonho’s shoulder “ i’m really happy with jooheon now but that was just me being lucky, we both found the very right person for us. don’t let him slip out of your hands just like i’m trying my best at spending every second of my free time with honey.” he patted his shoulder and walked out, leaving them in a thoughtful silence.


	68. Sixty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Hi Hi (o^ ^o)  
> This is one of those picture-filled chapZ again!  
> i didn't put usernames for fanpages cuz it's soooo tiring to do! mianhae hajiman i'm not sorry! ( listen to solo by jennie while you're at it and Stream shoot out! )

{ Hyunbin ( from former JBJ ) } 

\---------------------------------------------------

 

 

**WonHo**

****

**1,967,999 Likes          912,892 Comments**

#wonbebe did you like #shootout?

 

 **H.One** : that lip piercing… (｡T ω T｡)

   **WonHo** : **@H.One** ♡( ◡‿◡ )

 **JHoney** : yo yo yo! this is so swag!

   **WonHo** : **@JHoney** don’t pretend like you haven’t listened to it 100 times already!

 **ShoBearNu** : hyunbin and jackson did some dope job, making this beat.

   **WonHo** : **@ShoBearNu** what about the lyrics i wrote for it?? -_-

      **ShoBearNu** : **@WonHo** your lyrics are always the best! 

         **WonHo** : **@ShoBearNu**  the dance you choreographed for us is the best as well(´｡• ω •｡`)♡

 **WhaleMin** : **@JHoney** you traitor!!! you said you hadn’t listened to it!!!

   **JHoney** : **@WHaleMin** i can explain T_T

      **WhaleMin** : **@JHoney** NO. you’ve lost your chance.

         **WonHo** : **@JHoney @WhaleMin** get this fluffy argument out of my sight.

 **kkukkung** : that’s my brother for ya’ll *mic drop*

 

 

 

 

**ShoBearNu**

****

my man **@WonHo** just dropped a new single. make sure to listen to it a lot #shootout #wonho #wonbebe

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Ok, hold up! hold THE FUCK up!

i have too many god damn questions about this music video!! WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON?! #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

 

****

so apparently we survived through the whole teaser and photoshoots in hopes to see a yellow-orange wonho performing BUT HE DYED HIS HAIR BACK TO BLACK! No, I'm NOT here! I'm hiding in MY closet CRYING WONHO! #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

YES WONHO! i'm talking to you! WhY did you dye your hair back to black why why why, we wanted that yellow-orange hair soooo bad!!!!! #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

 

 

istg !! idc about his hair, have you seen the comments under his latest update??? the way he and shownu kept complimenting each other and then shownu updated a very intimate and friendly selfie from them both ( they looked like a couple omfg! ) and then there was fucking MINHYUK commenting there and wonho replying!!! didn’t they break up!!?? and who is even that other guy who wonho replied to with a heart emoji?!!!!??!! aaaaaaaa #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

 

 

****

zgfkwcn wonho just posted this on twitter and said “ thanks for always helping me make killer choreos.”

are they seriously hinting on something??!!!!??? #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

ok so i checked out @H.One ’s page and OMG! is he a model??? the aesthetics!! also, is he the guy we were all going insane over a few days back?…

 

 

 

 

istg! how can everyone around wonho be just as freaking god-like as he himself?!? LOOK AT THIS GUY!!!

 

 

 

 

 

it doesn’t matter who he is or is not dating, shut up and go stream #shootout !!! we’re aiming for an all-kill ! HURRY UP #wonbebe

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? TT wonho are you dating again? TT

 

 

 

 

***********

**MX squad**

 

Ki.HamD: won

Ki.HamD: wonho!

Ki.HamD: wonho and shownu, get your asses here.

 

ShoBearNu: won is probably on the plain rn, what is it?

 

Ki.HamD: oh nothing, just that the social media thinks you and won are dating

 

ShoBearNu: what…??

 

Ki.HamD: yeah, the fans have pretty productive minds and have linked the pictures the two of you uploaded with the compliments you gave each other and have shipped you.

 

WhaleMin: lol imagine the two of them together! the bed would crack :v 

 

ShoBearNu: min! N.O.!

ShoBearNu: this is so stupid! why are they assuming something like that?!

 

Ki.HamD: people tend to have boring lives and these things are entertaining to them.

 

kkukkung: someone please tell my brother to call his boyfriend. i have a test coming up and this turtle won’t get off of me.

 

ShoBearNu: hyungwon, get off kyun and come to practice already.

 

H.One: oh look! it’s my boyfriend’s boyfriend |ʘ‿ʘ)╯

 

ShoBearNu: *rolls eyes*

 

JHoney: appa will NeVeR learn how to use emojiZ properly *sigh*

 

 

***********

 

 

 

Wonho read the messages as soon as they landed. he couldn’t believe that fans were assuming he and shownu would be a couple. who even would top when they were both dominant as fuck!! shit, that wasn’t the right thing to think about. he should call him and make it all go away. he does call hyungwon and the latter reassures him he’s really fine with this whole thing. wonho asks one last time if he really was ready for them to go public and hyungwon was positive.

 

 

 

**WonHo**

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**2,014,237 likes        1,249,348 comments**

my two adorable babies ❤

 

 

 

 

 

guys! GUYS! wonho updated his instagram AGAIN with the picture of the guy we’ve been talking about ALL DAY! he probably is really DATING this guy and because we were being suspicious about him and shownu, he updated this to tell us he is dating this H.One guy and not shownu???!!!????!! #Shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

 ( ok, imagine min and ki are jackson and hyunbin here! )

remember the vlive wonho had a couple of days ago and he suddenly started counting? was he counting the number of his boyfriends? :D  #shootout #wonho

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right in front of my salad...! TT

 

 

 

 

 

but the main question remains: can he cook ramyon? >_<

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chap will be smut :D   
> \- i see ya'll pervZ saying thank you,next to this chap and jumping on the 'next chapter' button ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴


	69. Sixty Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *******WARNING*******  
> This chap is just smut, you can skip this if you don't wanna read, there is nothing that is important to the plot in this chapter.  
> this was my first ever hyungwonho smut so... enjoy, i guess...

wonho had been abroad for about 12 days now and hyungwon was going truly insane. it didn’t matter how busy they were with their dance practice, the thought of wonho wouldn’t leave his head one second. it was all the same for wonho as well, he could tell.

with the sudden photo of him that wonho had posted the day he had left, there was a lot of news and articles going on about the both of them. people had practically dug in his life and figured out that he was a part of shownu’s crew. wonho hadn’t been joking about getting him a bodyguard and now he was going everywhere with this very big dude following his every step. there had been a billion reporters everywhere but the bodyguard had successfully helped him escape them through backdoors every time.

the whole thing was a giant mess but wonho and the two rapper’s song had been a huge success worldwide and as soon as he would land the next night, his boss and a few other staff of the company would come to their apartment, to both have a small congratulation party and discuss the matters on their relationship.

 

 

 

It was already around midnight when everyone had left and the two of them were alone. at last. wonho had missed hyungwon dearly and he’s been longing for him the whole night.

he was currently sitting on the sofa’s armrest, watching hyungwon as he went back and forth grabbing stuff from here and there and putting them in their place. he had told the younger that he would call a cleaning lady tomorrow but the latter was still cleaning some of the mess they left behind up. not a mere minute later, wonho grew impatient as it seemed the younger hadn’t really missed him. not with the way he wasn’t paying any kind of attention to him whatsoever. so he stood up and walked a few steps forward, catching hyungwon on his footstep while he was headed to the kitchen.

wonho grabbed hyungwon’s upper arm and pulled him close, flush against his body. the younger yelped at the sudden action and looked at him with widened eyes while he himself had a look of admiration and a slight smirk on his face. they stood there like that for a few seconds. hyungwon’s hands were the only thing between their bodies, resting on his muscular chest.

“ hey boyfriend.” wonho said playfully while looking deep into his boyfriend’s eyes.

“ hey handsome.” hyungwon replied with a kind smile and eyes full of love.

“ i’ve missed you.” the older said while he wrapped his arms around the thin waist tightly, making him get even closer.

“ i’ve missed you too.” hyungwon freed his right hand from between their bodies and brushed a strand of hair out of the older’s face.

“ you have? it certainly didn’t seem like it though. you’ve been ignoring me all night.”

“ your boss was here. i couldn’t act all gay in front of him.”

“ you are gay though.” wonho teased him and leaned in, pecking the younger’s lips shortly which the latter leaned forward to. but wonho pulled back quickly. not wanting to let him enjoy it as easy as that. he had been ignored all night and hyungwon had to pay for it a bit.

“ i’m gay but you should learn how to keep your d*ck in your pants sometimes.” the dancer teased him, pinching his ear playfully.

“ should i now? well then off you go. i’m gonna practice it from now on.” hyungwon raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth in surprise. he did not see that coming. wonho completely let go of him and took a step back, gesturing towards the kitchen with his hand, showing him he should continue what he was doing. hyugnwon didn’t really mean what he said though. all night he was thirsty for wonho’s touch. even a peck but he had been too shy cuz there were people he had never met before in his entire life at the apartment. pouting and frowning, he looked at wonho with puppy eyes but didn’t take any steps towards the older. he wanted to make the latter come to him, show him how much he wanted him. but his boyfriend just stood there, with his arms crossed on hi chest while looking at him with a blank face.

“ are you for real right now?” he was becoming frustrated.

“ what? i’m just doing what you said. i’m keeping my d*ck in my pants. i can’t fuck you with having it covered so what’s the point?” he shrugged nonchalantly

“ what’s the point?! i wasn’t even talking about now, you know, but what? if you can’t fuck me there’s nothing else? you could make out! you could touch me! or is fucking me the only thing you want?” he was becoming pretty angry at this moment. he hadn’t waited all this time to be treated like this.

“ meh, i think i’ll pass.” the older shrugged again and released his hands to his sides and took his phone out of his pocket, unlocking it and looking through it. all the while hyungwon stood there and looked at him in shock. how could he do this to him? he had just told him that he had missed him and this was so unlike him. what was going on?! huffing, he shifted a bit before starting to walk past wonho who was still on his phone. as soon as he was one step past the older, he felt a hand on his wrist, making him turn around and pushed so his back was touching wonho’s chest. they were standing in front of the big mirror that was placed across from the kitchen, just before the hallway path started. wonho circled his right arm around hyungwon’s waist, holding him in place in case he wanted to leave. with the back of his left hand, he caressed the younger’s arm,starting from his shoulder down to the back of his hand, intertwining their fingers after. he was looking at his tall thin boyfriend through the mirror.

“ you look so delicious like this. i love how easily i can provoke you.” he whispered near his ear, staring at the younger’s eyes through their reflection. hyugnwon frowned and bit on his lower lip. he let go of the older’s hand and tried to free himself. wonho was having none of it. he wrapped his left hand around hyugnwon’s chest, around his arms and his right hand circled around the latter’s hands as well. he had no chance to run away now. he was keeping him firmly in place, not even letting him move his hands one bit.

“ didn’t you say you wanted to practice taming the little won?” hyungwon teased while raising his eyebrow at the reflection in the mirror.

“ oh believe me, tonight i WILL tame the little won. i’m gonna teach him not to ignore me ever again.” wonho smirked and connected his lips to the skin of his boyfriend’s neck at the area behind his ear. he started with feather-like kisses, light touches of his lips only to make the younger impatient and craving for more. hyungwon titled his neck to the side, giving him more space to devour him. he smiled and licked his neck from the bottom to his jaw, blowing cold air over the wet skin right after. he felt how his boyfriend shivered a bit and moaned quietly with how hard he was biting on his lower lip, probably not wanting to give in that easily. but he was determined to make him wreck. he was going to tease him to the point the younger would beg to be fucked.

hyungwon tried to free himself again only to be pushed back strongly and be held more tightly. tight enough to make it hard to breathe. wonho moved his left hand upwards, grabbing hyungwon’s jaw and turning his head to the side so that he could capture his lips roughly. he had missed hyungwon and he could not hold himself back anymore. he needed to devour him now. and so he did. he kissed him slow but rough. biting on his lower lip and sucking on his tongue. the younger was turning jello in his hands. nibbling on hyungwon’s lower lip and capturing it with his teeth, he leaned a mere centimeter back with his lover’s lips stretching. he let go of his jaw that he had gripped not so softly and curled his fingers around hyungwon’s neck, applying a little pressure. the younger let out a louder moan and his eyes rolled back. he knew all his weaknesses by now. he knew how his lover loved to be chocked. the younger leaned his head backwards with his mouth open, gasping for the air that was hard to get because of the pressure on his pulse and the tight hand around his body, keeping him from any movement. soon his face was getting a bit red and wonho loosened his hand around the beautiful neck a bit, letting him talk if it was too much. but hyungwon only turned his head back to him, clashing their lips together in a deep rushed and sloppy kiss. wonho tightened his fingers around the latter’s neck again and earned himself a needy moan right into his mouth between the kisses. the more pressure he applied the moans became louder but he was always careful not to hurt hyungwon. his skin was probably already irritated by now. loosening his fingers, hyungwon groaned and detached their lips, looking at him with half-lidded eyes and an open mouth inhaling roughly.

“ let go of me.” the younger whispered with the little breath he had.

“ no.” he replied smirking.

“ please. i wanna touch you.” he tried to move his arms but to no avail. the older was too strong for him.

“ you’re not allowed to touch me kitten. not after everything you’ve done tonight.”

“ i didn’t mean any of it. i was too shy in front of them.” hyungwon was panting roughly becoming more impatient by the second, especially with how the fingers around his neck continued applying a light pressure on his pulse before it suddenly got tighter and made hyugnwon open his eyes to the fullest and gasp in shock. he arched his back and threw his head backwards moaning louder.

“ look at you losing all your senses just by a little pressure around your beautiful neck. do you want me to let you go?”he loosened his grip when he saw his face getting red again. hyungwon panted roughly, relaxing his body a bit and nodding furiously while swallowing before he would drool.

wonho nibbled on his earlobe, sucking it in his mouth. he let go of the abused bud and moved across his neck, leaving marks by his bites that he would lick after to sooth the skin a bit. hyungwon was a moaning mess. both of their necks were their weaknesses. the most sensitive parts of their bodies. well hyungwon’s entire body was super sensitive to be honest and he loved it about him. how he would wreck under the slightest touch and give in. he leaned back to look at hyungwon. he had his eyes closed with his head thrown backwards. his mouth open and a thin line of drool on the side of his lip cuz he wasn’t able to swallow due to the grip on his neck. he looked at the caramel coloured neck that was now covered in angry hickeys. he had not intended to go easy on the boy from the beginning and he wasn’t feeling sorry now, seeing that hyungwon was enjoying it all just as much.

“ i’m gonna let you go. you’re gonna be a good boy and stay still. if you touch me or move an inch, i’ll leave you in this state, understood?” hyugnwon swallowed hard and nodded for a few times, leaning his head against the older’s shoulder.

wonho loosened his grip slowly, tracing his fingertips on the younger’s waist until he was completely free. he had let go of his neck as well. he took a step back, making hyungwon stand by his own, which was hard cuz his feet already felt like jelly and he had been leaning most of his weight on the older till now. he wanted to turn around and close the gap between them, touch the muscular body of his boyfriend he loved and missed so much. he wanted to kiss those curved lips and taste them so bad. he wanted to feel those strong arms around him again even if it meant they held him in an iron grip. he was regretting his request of being free. he was standing there all turned on and not being able to move. he knew wonho always stood by his words so he wasn’t gonna risk anything. he knew he had to be patient and do as he is told or he would really end up getting nothing from the other.

wonho stood there, three steps behind hyungwon, looking at him through the mirror and admiring every part of his body. there wasn’t one detail he didn’t like about his boyfriend. he loved it all. he loved him with all he had.

not wanting to torture hyungwon any further he walked towards him and stopped when there was only a very small gap between their bodies. he circled his hands around the younger from behind and started undoing the buttons of his shirt one by one in a painfully slow pace. he could feel how impatient hyungwon had become just by the look on his face and the constant biting on the cheek.

undoing the last button, he took the shirt off and threw it on the ground. he curled his hands around the younger’s waist this time, unzipping the jeans and pulling it down along with the underwear, leaving the younger completely naked. he took a step back again and started undressing himself, again in a slow pace, all the while he stared at hyungwon’s eyes through their reflection. hyungwon’s eyes traveled along his exposed skin hungrily as he repeatedly licked over his plump swollen lips due to the heavy make-out session.

when he was completely naked, he closed the gap between their bodies and pulled hyungwon flush against himself. their hot skin touching made them both feel euphoric. he nuzzled his head in the crook of the younger’s neck, breathing his scent in. he could get high just by smelling his lover’s scent.

hyungwon leaned back into the touch, resting his head on wonho’s shoulder and humming quietly at the feeling of having him close like this. he could feel how hot his body was. wonho was always hotter than him. maybe that’s why he had a sex drive of a god, ready to please him as many times as he wanted.

“ look in the mirror wonnie.” he did as asked. he slowly raised his head and looked in the mirror at the older who was looking back at him while placing kisses on his shoulder passionately. it was like all the roughness from earlier had vanished into thin air to be replaced by a romantic aura. wonho kept caressing hyungwon’s skin everywhere he could reach. his arms, his sides, his back and waist, everywhere. and he could feel the latter relaxing at the touch, the tension from earlier disappearing completely.

“ look at yourself. look at your beautiful eyes.” and the younger did. slowly taking his gaze away from his lover and looked at his own eyes.

“ look at your lips. your neck.” wonho looked at the younger’s neck as he told him to do the same and caressed it’s skin smoothly with the back of his hand. the place where he had chocked him earlier was red, making it obvious what had happened. he looked back at the reflection of his boyfriend again.

“ your arms, your beautiful chest, those tiny cute nipples, your flat stomach. your lean thighs and those long legs.” he was whispering it all in a breathy voice. he was aching to touch the younger in all the ways he wanted. he himself was growing impatient but he couldn’t stop admiring the beauty that was hyungwon. the latter looked at every part of his body he was told, feeling a tiny bit shy but not wanting to show it. wonho kept peppering his shoulder with countless kisses.

“ i love you so much. every inch of you.” he heard the older whisper in his ear in a very low volume, like he was afraid anyone else was going to hear it if he said it a bit louder.

“ i love you too. please let me touch you. i feel like i’ll die if you won’t let me.” he whispered back but in a desperate voice, nothing like the dominance that was pouring out of his boyfriend’s.

“ feel free kitten. but don’t ever ignore me again. you know how in need of your attention i am.” hyungwon immediately curled his arms around wonho’s neck, still facing the mirror. he let his fingers roam through the latter’s hair, massaging his scalp.

wonho had his arms loosely around hyungwon’s waist. he moved his right hand downwards, curling his fingers around the younger’s groin. hyungwon moaned immediately at the touch. voice restrained and tired although they hadn’t even started yet.

wonho started stroking him in a slow pace, barely moving and he could feel how hyungwon’s body was giving out. the grip on his hair got tighter.

“ please. just- “ hyungwon moaned loudly and jerked as wonho squeezed him hard.

“ what is it babe?” he was teasing hyungwon to his limit and he knew it very well himself. after all, he had planned on wrecking him from the start.

“ let’s move to bed. i can’t stand any longer.” he plead. wonho continued his super slow strokes and he squeezed him once again, making hyungwon’s teeth clutch as he threw his head back and shut his eyes tightly.

“ bad boys don’t get to be comfy in bed. “ he let go of him altogether. hyungwon panicked, thinking wonho was gonna leave him there like that. he would go insane if he did.

“ sit on the chair.”

hyungwon wanted to protest but gave up as there was no point fighting with wonho when he was in his dominant mode. he walked towards the chair, feeling annoyed at how it was at the far end of the leaving room, just a few inches away from the glass wall. wait! the glass wall! what if someone saw them through it?! he stopped at his track and turned around to wonho panicking.

“ but there are windows everywhere! someone will see!” wonho raised his eyebrow and chuckled shortly. he walked towards him, grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the chair, making him sit. the older spread his legs and sat between them.

“ let them see then.” hyungwon wanted to say no and move but wonho was already deep-throating him from the very start, so he couldn’t really make a sentence cuz he was fucking gone at this point. wonho was so good at this. it made his mind blow every time he felt that skilled mouth around himself. the older wasn’t going easy on him, continuously letting him hit the back of his throat and bobbing his head. he was so gone, he didn’t even realize when exactly a finger had entered him. he only knew that the pleasure was getting more and more every second. wonho was keeping a steady pace only going faster if hyungwon’s moans turned down or going slower if he felt him twitch or tighten around his fingers inside. he was three fingers in deep and hyungwon’s sanity was nowhere to be found. he kept looking at him while doing all he was doing. at how beautifully fucked out his lover was by his touch. he had his left foot on the armchair, his whole body had turned a bit to the left as his left hand was holding the backrest tightly enough to make his knuckles go white.

“ i’m c-close. h-hyung s-stop.” hyungwon tried to push wonho’s head away by the grip of his hair he was fisting but the older had other plans. he went all the way down to the shaft and closed his mouth tightly around him as his fingers sped up, going in and out as fast as he could, hitting the sensitive spot inside almost everytime. it didn’t take him longer than 10 seconds to cum down his boyfriend’s throat. he grew limp as the older sucked him through his high.

wonho stood up from his knees and bent down to capture a breathless hyungwon’s lips into a hot kiss. the younger didn’t hesitate to kiss back, curling his arms around his neck and pulling him closer to himself. the action made wonho bend down more until his knee was between hyungwon’s legs on the chair and he was holding his weight on his left palm on the armchair while his right hand was cupping the beautiful boy’s face, his thumb caressing his cheek.

“ are you finally gonna fuck me now?” the younger hissed at him before a soft smile appeared on his tired face.

“ i don’t know. i was told to learn how to keep my d*ck in my pants.” he smirked against the younger’s lips and earned himself a weak punch in his bicep.

“ shut up and fuck me already hyung.”

“ needy. didn’t you just cum? i think you’re tired. maybe i should let you rest for now.” hyungwon had had enough of it. he pushed wonho back with all the strength he had and jumped on him right after, resulting in the older laying on the carpet and hyungwon sitting on his lap on top of him. before his boyfriend could pull any other trick and tease out of his gorgeous ass, he sat down on the d*ck he was so thirsty for all night long. going down on it slowly, he felt how wonho wrapped his hands on each side of his waist tightly, cursing under his breath. soon he was seated and their skin was touching. he had missed this feeling. being so full, it was hitting all the sensitive spots inside him. taking a few breaths to catch up on the ones he lost, he started riding his lover under him. he kept the eye contact as he rode him. he loved the pleasured look on wonho’s face. the way he hissed. the way his eyes rolled back when he rolled his hips. the way he bit on his lower lip while making him sit down on his groin with a little bit more force. he started going slower, wanting to tease the older a bit after having endured so much himself. the grip on his waist tightened and wonho groaned and threw his head back with his eyes closed. he sat down completely again and stopped moving altogether.

hyungwon leaned down and attached his lips to wonho’s neck. nibbling hard and licking on the spot afterwards. he found his pulse and bit on it with his teeth, stretching the skin a bit as he held it between his teeth. wonho was quick to grip a fistful of his hair and take him away from his neck. wonho’s neck was off-limits for rough bites that would leave marks. or his chest. or his stomach. sometimes hyungwon wanted to show a big fuck you all to everyone by posting that one photo he had taken of wonho when he had covered him in so many hickeys from his neck to his stomach. why the fuck should he be always careful while the other always went all out on him. but this time, wonho had made it worse himself. he had pulled hyungwon away from his neck with force while the other had a patch of his skin between his teeth. it made his skin crack and it started to bleed. he could feel the hot liquid slowly dripping down his neck to the side but he couldn’t care less at his current position. upon seeing the few tiny drops of blood, hyungwon was ready to panic and get up to go get some tissues or something but wonho was quicker. he pulled hyungwon down, flush against his own chest and curled his arms around his back and waste to keep him in an iron grip, not able to move. and then he started to thrust in him as hard and fast as he could, which was pretty much and you could tell by how loud hyungwon’s moans were while the latter wasn’t able to move a muscle even if he wanted to. it was like he was completely paralyzed, only able to moan at the top of his lungs. wonho didn’t go easy on him nor did he slow down. he kept thrusting until he felt how hyungwon tightened around him and with a mantra of his name he came between their bodies. wonho himself didn’t last much longer and released himself inside of the younger.

hyungwon wanted to care about how sticky it felt, with all the sweat and cum between their bodies but he couldn’t find any strength to move. he was lying on top of wonho, his weight completely on the older and he was panting roughly. he was completely worn out and ready to pass out at any second. knowing wonho, there was no way he would let him get into bed like that. his lover hated the bedsheets to be dirty and he hated it to feel sticky. but it was his own problem so hyungwon always made him carry to the bathtub or the shower and clean him himself if he wanted a clean body to lie on his sheets. currently though, he just wanted to stay in that exact position forever. he loved the way one of wonho’s hands was roaming on his back and the other in his hair, while he whispered praises in his ear.

“ you did so well wonnie.” wonho kissed his cheek.

“ i love you so much.” another kiss.

“ sorry if i was too rough.” and another.

hyungwon raised his head from his lover’s shoulder and connected their lips in a lazy passionate kiss.

later on wonho would hug him bridal style with him curling his arms around his neck and carry him to the tub. he would lean back against the older’s chest and they would talk about this and that in their quiet hoarse voices. probably mentioning their love for each other and a few more kisses as they never seemed to get enough of the other’s lips. then wonho would wash their bodies and rinse them both. finally, he would wrap hyungwon in a towel and carry him back to their bed, cuddling the hell out of him and falling asleep after confessing their love for each other one last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was it at least a bit good? ......... i'm nervous hehe


	70. Seventy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JingleBall has finished. i'm so proud of my boys!  
> btw, do you think forgotten characters need to re-appear in this story again?

weeks passed and the promotion for the song “ shoot out “ finally finished. the three idols went on an asia and north-america tour, and that resulted in all three of them being more known than they were before, meaning more fans, more places to be and less free time. currently, it had been almost three months since the last time wonho had been home.

hyungwon was sitting on the floor at the practice room, waiting for his students to come. he had been teaching a class since last month. to say that he missed wonho was an understatement. now, he kinda knew why minhyuk was having such a hard time and he had gone with this for so many years while they had been together for about 11 months now. his boyfriend was doing all he could, calling every day and texting in every little break he had but it wasn’t enough. he had even bought him tickets the times hyungwon had a day or two of free time, when wonho himself was at a nearby country, and they had spent the whole little time they had in each other’s arms. the last time they had made love to each other at their home was the time they had sex by the window which got hyungwon being mocked by wonho later on. wonho had laughed so hard at him the next day when hyungwon had nagged to him about the possibility of someone having had seen them. after minutes of laughing, wonho had told him that the glass was not see-through. hyungwon had felt like such an idiot.

he found himself smiling, although it faded soon, and decided to check his phone to see if he had any new notifications from his lover. there wasn’t. it was truly odd cuz he hadn’t received a single message from wonho during the last 23 hours, not that he was counting, but yeah, he kinda was. he was feeling uneasy about it so he decided to call the ex to see if something like this was normal.

“ wonniiiieee, what’s up? why didn’t you come to our place on sunday?”

“ hey, minmin, sorry, i had something to do and by the time i was done, it was already pretty late. did you guys have fun?” 

“ yeah… i mean, sunday fun day,right?” he giggled. “ hold on a sec”

this usually happened when they were talking over the phone. minhyuk would be interrupted by his employee all the time. after around 40 seconds of listening to their conversation about something minhyuk didn’t wanna sign and the other man insisting on it, he heard the happy vitamin of their group semi-shout and that was the end of that discussion.

“ uh, some people really can’t handle being treated well. anyways, why did you call?”

“ um,,, this might sound stupid, but wonho hadn’t messaged me for like 24 hours now and i’m starting to get worried. he never does this.” there was a short silence before the other man spoke again.

“ he might have just blacked out. you know, like the times he over-works himself and then his body shuts itself down so he sleeps for many hours. i just hope his stomach-flu case isn’t on again.”

“ yeah i though about it at first, too but … i don’t know. i have this feeling.. uhhh,, ignore me, i’m being a spoiled cat nagging cuz his boyfriend hadn’t given him attention.” 

“ ayyyy, you ARE a kitten so… and if you’re a spoiled cat, then won is your owner, not your boyfriend. do you have slave kinks wonnie?” there goes the teasing again. 

“ how the fuck did our conversation turn this way?” he sighed feeling defeated. he was shy when it came to talking about sexual things. it took him a great amount of time, being okay around wonho, showering together and walking around naked and everything.

minhyuk laughed like the devil he was “ i’m sure he’s fine baby. don’t think too much about it. oh! look at the time. don’t you have a class to teach kitten?” 

“ one, don’t call me that. you know wonho doesn’t like it. two, yes i do. i hope it helps to get my mind off of this horrible feeling.”

“ look at you being concerned about upsetting your boyfi. i do what i want though. he didn’t like being called bunny either but he’s used to it now. go and teach those kids some dope moves. oh and we’re gathering at shownu’s place tomorrow night. don’t ditch us again.”

“ hmm, i know. shownu hyung had threatened me in case of ditching already.” he chuckled at the memory of shownu telling him he should go or he would throw him at a wall.

 

 

 

it had been a long day. teaching hadn’t made him feel better. dancing or talking to shownu and other colleges hadn’t helped either. it had been around 36 hours now. he was going insane.

hyungwon undressed completely, letting every piece of clothing fall on the ground, making a path as he made his way to the shower. he thought maybe taking a bath would help him feel better. taking the glass of wine he had poured himself and placing it next to the bath-tub, he turned the water on and waited until the tub was full. glancing at the cabinet where the bombs were, he took a pink one that wonho loved so much although he himself preferred the blue one better.

after his body adjusted to the water temperature, he held his breath and went underwater. being underwater, the feeling of floating and not able to breathe somehow always made him calm down and think better. it had been maybe around 5 minutes already when a thought crossed his mind and his eyes opened wide. feeling stupid at why he hadn’t thought of it till now, he raised his body up and leaned back, taking his phone from the towel he had placed next to the tub on the stone.

the thought was: check social media. the fans always know everything.

he hadn’t checked his social media the whole day yet. maybe wonho had been busy doing something.

twitter, instagram, fan cafe, etc. no-one knew anything. no-one had seen him or posted any news about him. then when he was about to give up and lock his phone, he saw a tweet.

“ in last night’s concert, wonho suddenly went backstage in the middle of the song. jackson ran after him while hyunbin continued singing his part. i don’t know why no one's talking about this but when he came back a song later, he had a band-aid on his arm. i think they injected him with something to help him come back on stage? i was at the front row and he came close to us so i saw it. but you could tell he had wanted to hide it by his sleeve.” the tweet had no hashtags and so it only had two likes and maybe that’s why no-one really knew about it. but that was it for hyungwon. this was enough for him to finally lose his mind.

hurrying out of the bath-tub, making a huge amount of water splash all over, he dialed jongup’s number and waited for him to pick up, chewing harshly on the inside of his cheek.

the manager didn’t pick up. he called again but nothing. after four times, he gave up. tapping his foot on the ground, he remembered jooheon was a good friend of jackson’s so he called him.

“ joo, could you send me jackson’s number please real quick?” he said as soon as jooheon picked up.

“ woah woah! what’s wrong?” 

“ JOOHEON!” he realized that he had actually shouted, “ i’m sorry, just send it. i’ll explain later.” 

“ o..kay..” he hung up and not a second later a message with the contact info was received.

 

jackson picked up the second time.

“ hello?” his voice was tired and raspy

“ hi, this is hyungwon. wonho’s boyfriend. do you know where he is?”

“ uhhh,,, why don’t you ask him that?!” 

“ cuz he hasn’t picked up since yesterday!” he was feeling really irritated. if he had no reason to dislike jackson till today other than pure occasional jealousy, he had one now. 

“ hmm, hyung didn’t feel well yesterday. maybe he’s just resting or something. do you want me to check up on him? no, don’t answer that. now i’m worried as well. let me just put something on.” he heard shuffling and seconds later the sound of the door opening and then knocking.

“ he’s not answering the door. let me check on jongup.” and then knocking again.

“ hyungwon, jongup’s not answering either. have you called him?”

“ yes. when was the last time you saw wonho?” he tugged at the towel he had wrapped around himself.

“ i haven’t seen him ever since the concert. i mean we came back in different cars so that was the last time…” none of them spoke for a long time, hyungwon was losing his mind. he wanted to cry and to slap himself and fly there right now. he felt so helpless like this.

“ i’m gonna … “ jackson spoke again. “ i’m gonna go ask my manager and the staff. i’ll call you if i find anything out.” 

“ okay. thank you jackson.”

 

 

thirty minutes had passed but he the rapper didn’t call. hyungwon had put on clothes and was going back and forth in the whole apartment. he had bitten on his lip so many times, he could taste the blood. hearing his ringtone, he answered without looking at the name.

“ did you find anything?” he asked quickly

“ what?! was i supposed to?” the other was confused

“ oh joo…” hearing jooheon’s voice, he felt his whole self-control shatter and tear into pieces. he had held himself together to be strong but now that he was hearing one of their friend’s voice, it seemed like he could no-longer stay composed. he felt his eyes getting teary and his heartbeat going higher. “ joo,,, something’s wrong.” he sobbed in the phone.

“ won, what’s wrong? walk to me.” jooheon’s voice went from confused to terrified in less than a second.

“ it’s wonho… he’s not in the hotel. he’s not answering his phone. nor is jongup.”

“ is that why you asked for jackson’s number?” 

“ yeah, he went to check on wonho and jongup but they’re not at the hotel….. i’m losing my mind.” he swallowed hard, trying not to cry cuz he had to stay strong. maybe it was nothing. maybe they were just exploring the city or something. maybe they were sleeping at their hotel rooms, tired enough not to be awakened by the sound of knocking. but wonho was a light sleeper.

“ we’ll be there in a few hyungwon, okay?”

“ okay…” he threw his phone on the kitchen counter and let himself fall on the chair nearby, his head hidden in the palms of his hands. he really wanted to just buy a ticket right now and fly to his lover.

 

 


	71. Seventy One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** MONSTA X ***  
> YES! my kings! DID YOU WATCH MAMA? IF NOT THEN WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??????

“ hyungwon, sit down! you walking around nonstop and not eating is not gonna solve anything. “kihyun said trying to stop hyungwon in his track. he felt how the slim body was shaking inside.

“ you don’t understand. it’s been two days. if he, wherever he is, doesn’t take his medication on time or at all, it’s possible for his body to go into shock.” hyungwon said, gesturing his hands and on the edge of crying. he kept it in. he had to be strong. he couldn’t just break into tears every ten minutes, thinking the worst things.

“ medication? what for? i thought you cut him off months ago.” jooheon asked confused.

“ it’s… it doesn’t matter now. we have to find him guys. we have to find him soon.” hyungwon plead and checked his phone for the nth time in hopes of seeing a message from wonho. none of the texts they had send him or jongup were seen. when they called, it went directly to voice mail.

“ it matters.” jooheon replied standing up and walking closer to the tall boy. “ it matters hyungwon. the company is not taking it seriously, saying he’s just gone somewhere without telling us beforehand again. feeling at ease, only because jongup is supposedly with him. if his health is on the line, maybe they will do something.”

hyungwon had never seen jooheon like that. he had seen him angry and it was terrifying but this, the way his eyes were filled with worry, sadness and anger was something else. he swallowed before letting himself fall on the chair next to the glass-wall and hiding his face in his palms. rubbing his face roughly a couple of times, he pushed his hair off his face as he took a deep breath.

“ won, he,…, he showed some new symptoms, serious ones. i talked to himchan, the head doctor at the hospital, and we came up with a treatment. i can’t tell you more cuz wonho didn’t want you guys to know. “ hyungwon knew the older would be upset when he would find out about this but he had no other choice.

everyone went quiet for some seconds.

“ is…. it still because of the accident?” minhyuk asked with so much hesitance.as soon as the words left his mouth, jooheon turned to him and pursed his lips together, looking at his boyfriend.

“ min…”

“ no, it’s not. it goes way back. it’s not because of you. don’t worry.” hyungwon forced himself to smile at the older guy who was nearly panicking at the thought of him being the reason of yet another break-down in his ex-lover.

“ are you sure you can’t track him down? “ shownu asked after minutes of ear piercing silence. minhyuk shook his head.

“ wonho,, he is a genius when it comes to coding. he always makes all of his devices unable to be hacked. i assume he had done the same thing to jongup’s phone as well cuz i can’t get through the wall. it’s just unbreakable.” they all sighed in defeat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 days ago, wonho and jongup had disappeared. hyungwon had contacted jackson and the latter had searched every corner of the hotel and asked everyone if they had seen them. no-one had. basically, they hadn’t even come to the hotel after the concert. that concert had been the last one wonho would be at before coming back home and that meant no more schedule for the singer to be present at. that resulted in the company not being concerned about the whereabouts that much and keeping silent, not wanting the fans and the public go crazy over their idol and manager missing.

shownu and jooheon had fought so many times with the ceo in just two days already, to know that there was no way the company would risk the image of wonho, in case the idol would be just chilling somewhere. they didn’t want the public to go all crazy on wonho when he was back, resulting the company so many unwanted problems. so they kept quiet. saying if they didn’t show up in another two days, they would go to the police. the reason was logical, it’s what any company would do. they wouldn’t want the fans to be worried over nothing. but that was something the group of friends wouldn’t understand in their current worried sick situation.

everyone had been at wonho and hyungwon’s apartment the last two days. waiting for a call or a text or their messages to get delivered. but nothing. minhyuk had been trying every way he knew to get the whereabouts of either wonho or jongup but he just couldn’t. he had always said wonho was better at hacking although officially he had always done the projects related to that and wonho had always made programs. it was rather wonho didn’t like hacking much so he refused the projects that involved that kind of work. but he had done one or two of the big ones with minhyuk nevertheless.

minhyuk could still remember that one time, they were still rookies at the big company they worked at. it was a few months after wonho had began working there, when they were finally getting some praise from their bosses. they were about to leave the company building late at night, when one of the higher-ups called after them to follow her.

 

( 8 years ago )

“ shin wonho, lee minhyuk. you two work as a pair in projects, am i correct? “ the man who they hadn’t seen around, not even once, asked them. he was sitting behind the desk that normally their ceo would sit. it was his office after all, but right now, the ceo was standing by the man’s side and the boys were standing in front of the desk, confused by the whole situation and getting suffocated by the thick aura that surrounded the supposedly some government man in that chair. they had never worked for the government before.

“ yes sir.” wonho replied firmly.

“ and you specialize in… hacking?”

“ yes sir.” wonho answered again and minhyuk turned his face to look at him with widened eyes. he didn’t know wonho knew to hack. not until that day.

“ and you, lee minhyuk? do you specialize in hacking as well?” minhyuk looked at the man again

“ yes…sir” he was a little bit, no, a lot intimidated by this man. he didn’t like being there but standing next to wonho, who seemed like he would make a hell of a good soldier, he felt a bit calmer, like he could get through this in one piece.

“ and where would you have learned such skills?” the man’s face was rough. it was like he had never smiled once in his whole life.

“ i learned the basics in school clubs. the rest, i taught myself.”

“ smart.” the man nodded his head “ and you?” he turned his fierce gaze to minhyuk.

“ i…. i , my father, he was a cyber defense strategist.”

the man hummed, going through the folder he had in his hands before closing it. he picked another thick folder and threw it to the other end of the desk, closer to them.

“ read the details by dawn. we will pick you up at 6AM. you will be working under us for the next few days. do not talk about this to anyone. ever.” and the man left after. just like that. like they didn’t have a say in this whole situation.

wonho was the one to pick the folder up and look through it.

“ daniel, are we really doing this? this is… big!” wonho asked their ceo who was now the only one at the room beside them. the man had an apologetic smile on his face as he shifted in his chair a bit.

“ i’m so sorry kids. when they wanna do something, there’s nothing stopping them. they always keep track of smart people in this field of work, rather all fields of works and you two happen to be the young geniuses they always like.” the old man sighed “ i just hope they let you go after this one and won’t want to make you their puppets.”

minhyuk was panicking. he hadn’t seen the folder yet but from what it sounded like, it was something very important. walking closer to wonho and looking over his shoulder, his eyes widened the further in the documents he read. when they were done reading the first few pages, he looked up at wonho who was looking surprisingly calm.

“ are you insane? we can’t do THIS! i’m a good hacker and i suppose wonho here is too but, we’re not capable of hacking through such a giant system! they have millions of alarms set in every word of their codes.” his whole body was shaking at this point. it wasn’t something they could get away with if they were to mess up. it would cause war. he definitely did not want to be the reason for millions of people dying and he was sure it wasn’t what wonho wanted either.

“ listen minhyuk. there’s no way out of this. if they want you to do it, you just do. they won’t let you be otherwise.”

“ are you okay with this whole thing?” he asked wonho frustrated. the latter was still going through the files with complete concentration.

wonho lifted his head up and focused his attention on a trembling minhyuk instead.

“ of course i’m not okay! but Daniel is right. we have no other choice and i think i’ve already found a hole in their defense wall. so it won’t take much time.” wonho closed the folder and placed it on the big desk again before taking minhyuk by the shoulders gently and looking into his eyes softly.

“ it’s okay. we’re gonna do this and then we’re gonna tell them to fuck off afterward.” minhyuk’s lips parted as he looked back into the latter’s eyes. they seemed genuine. but..

“ but if we can tell them to fuck off, why not telling them that now?” he grabbed the hem of wonho’s t-shirt.

“ because they’re on a deadline now. they won’t accept it. but if we tell them after this, beforehand, they’ll know they can’t count on us again.” he smiled his beautiful smile at him and it made him a bit calmer. made sense, what wonho had explained. minhyuk swallowed roughly “ okay… but only this once. i don’t wanna be a part of the government’s dirty work.”

 

 

oh if only he knew what amount of stuff he was going to do after having his own company. he had skilfully refused the big and messed up projects but sometimes there just was no escape.

wonho had done as he said. he had told them they would never participate in such ‘projects’ ever again firmly, like he meant it and wasn’t afraid of the consequences. the man and other people had thrown him a death glare but hadn’t said anything further. they had never contacted them again.

wonho was a genius. so much that it shocked everyone in the whole building when they found out he had given up on programming to become a singer. it was like giving up a whole personal island to go live in a shack in a faraway desert to them. little did they know, he would prove himself in the music industry as one of the most talented ones as well. and right now, only wonho could break through the defense wall of the cellphone they were desperate to break into, in order to find their locations.

 

 

 

 

the sound of hyungwon’s ringtone broke through the silence of the apartment. jumping up, hyungwon looked at the caller ID and couldn’t believe his eyes.

“ hello?!”

“ hyungwon. it’s taehyung. i think wonho’s in danger.”


	72. Seventy Two

“ i think wonho’s in danger.” the word danger kept ringing in hyungwon’s ear. it took him a good three seconds to gather himself and put the phone on speaker.

“ what- do you m-mean in danger?” his throat felt dry, like he hadn’t drunk anything in days.

“ i saw a bunch of giant men taking him and another guy to this building. i don’t like the aura of this place hyungwon. do you know what is up or is he really in danger?” taehyung said in a quiet voice. there was a voice whispering something that could not be heard on this side of the line but showed that tae is not alone.

“ hi, this is minhyuk. could you send us your location? are you still at that place?” minhyuk said and pressed a few keys on the keyboard.

“ yes, wait..” a few seconds later hyungwon’s phone showed a notification. minhyuk saw the numbers and entered them in his laptop.

“ this! this is in the middle of the nowhere! “ he semi-shouted and was about to send the location to the policeman he knew in that country when a message showed up on his screen. realizing what it was, his eyes widened and his lips parted.

“ guys… wonho just sent a message.”

“ what!?” nearly everyone shouted in sync. hyungwon sat next to minhyuk, looking on the screen in search of the said message.

“ where? there’s just a bunch of codes here.”

“ this is a language we created. a code language just for the two of us.” minhyuk explained with a voice not louder than a whisper.

“ well? what does it say?” shownu asked and curled his arm around changkyun who seemed to be on the edge of crying.

“ we’re fine. stay put. we’ll be back. don’t reply.” he bit on his lips. where was wonho that he had to use their code language to send him a message like this? no one said anything after that. if wonho had told them to stay put and not do anything, that was what they were gonna do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ why are we in separated vans?! we can all fit in one!” wonho asked as soon as the van started. jongup made himself comfortable in his seat.

“ i don’t know. i guess they wanted to make a good impression or something!” he chuckled.

“ good impression my ass. the whole crowd was dying from the heat! i will never perform in this hall again.” he groaned, remembering the fan that had fainted due to the high temperature. he himself had gone dizzy and went backstage to get some good amount of water to dehydrate, and well, some magic medicine they had injected him with that had cured all his cells and given him a ridiculous amount of energy. that shit was good. he should have asked them what it was.

“ then don’t. i’m really sleepy. i know you won’t sleep now, so just wake me up when we arrive at the hotel.” jongup said and closed his eyes, drifting to the dreamland a second later. wonho raised his eyebrows due to the surprise. jongup was never that tired to just ditch him and sleep. he shrugged and took his phone out, wanting to message hyungwon. but then… what happened then? he couldn’t even remember unlocking the device. everything seemed to have gone black after that.

 

waking up slowly, his winced cuz his head was throbbing so bad he couldn’t even open his eyes completely. he wanted to massage his temples to ease the pain a bit but soon he realized he couldn’t raise his hands. trying a bit more and failing, he suddenly forgot all about the pain and opened his eyes wide, checking his surroundings.

he was in an unfamiliar place. it looked fancy but… where was he? and then he remembered jongup. looking around, he didn’t find his manager in the small room.

the door opened and a couple of giant men walked in, followed by an old man.

“ oh! so it’s you.” he chuckled sarcastically and shut his eyes tightly to maybe get rid of the throbbing in his head.

“ yeah. who else would kidnap you and bring you to such a fancy place?” the old man laughed while lighting his cigar.

wonho hummed. “ that is maybe your only charm. now tell me where my manager is.” he looked straight into the old man’s eyes.

“ he is alive and okay. for now. we’re just keeping him in some other place,” he paused“ for insurance.”

wonho narrowed his eyes and licked his dry lips.

“ what do you want?”

the man smiled wide and took a chair, placed it in front of wonho, sitting and crossing his legs like a king.

“ now we’re talking. there’s something i want you to do.” he took a puff of his cigar, holding the smoke in a bit longer before letting it out.

“ of course. what is it this time?” wonho asked and tried to change the position of his arms cuz they really hurt.

“ i love how you’ve become such a good boy. remember the first time? you were so arrogant back then. made me want to explode that genius brain of yours.”

“ would be better. i choose death every time over doing shit for you. but then you always play dirty like the piece of trash you are.” he spat and earned himself a very strong punch right in the stomach. his breath hitched and his eyes widened in pain. a few drops of blood ran down from the corner of his lips, landing on his jeans while he was bent in half with his head low, panting.

“ there’s someone important i need you to find. he’s been captured by one of those underground red networks. i need you to help us find him and get him out.” the old man threw the rest of the cigar out of the nearby window and closed it again.

“ that’s not a hard thing to do. one of your little hackers could do it as well. there was no need to bother yourself with all this drama.” his voice was weak and hoarse. he felt like throwing up. he didn’t wanna get involved with the red networks.

“ yes but then they would leave traces. you’re the only one i know that never leaves any traces behind.” a fistful of his hair was grabbed and his head was pushed back harshly as the old man’s face came close to his.

“ you see, you’re my favorite bitch out of all my bitches.”

“ bitches can always chop your dick off when you’re balls deep in their throat you know.” wonho moved his head out of the tight grip however painful it was.

“ yeah, but then you have too many beloved ones. you don’t want that pink haired beauty of yours with a nasty scar on his face, do you?” wonho hissed at him and gritted his teeth.

“ that’s what i thought.” the old man patted wonho’s cheek two times before stepping back and sat back down on his chair and gestured one of the men to free his arms.

a folder was thrown at him by his feet. something the man loved to do.

“ all the info you need is in there. we need this girl back as soon as possible. you should find where they’re keeping her and then hack the security system for us while we go get her out, capiche?”

wonho swallowed painfully and bent down to grab the folder from the ground. the girl was really beautiful but she had gotten herself into some fucked up situation. basically, she had stolen a large amount of information and then had gotten caught by the nasty ‘red’. it was now a matter of time before they would start torturing her.

“ i wanna see my manager first.”he said looking up from the documents. “ i have to confirm his well-being.” the old man groaned.

“ he’s fine! do the job fast and both of you will be set free like nothing had ever happened.”

“ i need! to see my MANAGER! “ he insisted firmly. “ i won’t do anything until you take me to where he is.”

 

it took them two days to finally realize that wonho wasn’t joking. he hadn’t eaten either. so they were left with no choice but to bring him where jongup was. it was way out of the city, in some ruined building, surrounded by an endless amount of trees. for a second, he wondered whether that place had any access to wifi.

he saw jongup. they kept him locked up in one of the rooms with men watching the whole place.

wonho reassured his manager that everything’s gonna be okay before he sat behind the computers they had prepared for him. he knew the guys back at home would be panicking by now, not knowing where he was. the risk was high but he had to be quick and send a message to them, ensuring them that they’re fine. he almost got caught by the other hacker that was observing him but he had sent it after all. now he had to do what he had been asked and then get the hell out of that place with jongup.

 

looking for someone in those shady places wasn’t an easy thing to do but it was easy if you knew where and how to look. it didn’t take wonho much time to find the girl in one of the nastiest, most scary places on earth. she was being held in one of the most protected bases of the organisation. the hacker, or rather his spy, informed the old man and two hours later he was there.

“ that didn’t take you long! i’m seriously surprised by your work every time.”

“ i just wanna get away from you as soon as possible.” he murmured and rolled his chair aside for the man to see the information on the screen and look through the security camera’s that wonho had access to now.

“ okay. we’re going to get her out tonight.” he patted wonho’s hair like a fucking dog “well-done kid” he was about to leave and wonho was back at his spot behind the desk when they saw the girl being dragged out of her cell. the man who was forcing her out had grabbed his hair and was dragging her on the ground by his grip. there was no sound but it was obvious the girl was screaming in pain. she had a very small and delicate figure. wonho seriously wished he could rescue that girl on his own right now but that would only get him killed.

the old man was not happy about what he was seeing as the girl was tied to a bed tightly and a notification popped up, saying that a live broadcast had started. the hacker next to wonho clicked on it and it showed a screen, the lights were all red and the girl was screaming in horror, begging the man with the mask on to let her go. that she didn’t know anything.

the man in the mask whispered something in her ear and her soul seemed to have left her body with how she went quiet and her body went limp, like she had given up on her life already. he started torturing her, breaking her piece by piece and asking her repeatedly if she was ready to confess. each time, she would shake her head, screaming she didn’t know anything.

wonho couldn’t watch anymore. he lowered his head, closed his eyes and was about to cover his ears when the rough fingers in his hair made him look up again.

“ don’t you dare look away from her. this is all your fault. you wasted two days and now she’s being tortured because of you. look what you’ve done. all that’s happening to her right now is your fault.” and then the fingers were gone as soon as they have appeared and wonho’s head hung low as tears started running on his face.

“ get ready to get her out. and Robert, keep your eyes on that brat. we’ll need him to take care of the security alarms soon.” the sound of the footstepsand the girl’s endless screams kept digging in his ears as the images of the girl being tortured filled all of his being. his body began trembling as he couldn’t get the old man’s words out of his head. it was his fault. it really really was his fault for finding her late and now she was a toy to break for that masked man.

 

 

when he pressed the last key on the keyboard and sat back, it was already dawn. he had taken care of everything like a robot after having cried for an hour straight. as soon as they made sure no traces were left behind, the old man told them to let jongup out. the manager was in the black car, waiting for wonho to get in so they could leave that damned place.

wonho stopped on his step and turned around to face the old devil.

“ this was the last time. if you ever contact me again or ask me to do anything for you, i’ll take my life. with me dead, you won’t be able to blackmail me into doing your dirty work anymore.” his voice had no emotions to it, nor did his face. he felt empty. like the place where his heart had been, was now nothing but a dark black hole. he knew that the devil in front of him knew he was being serious. he wished that he was being clear enough cuz he was sure, he would never ever do anything for him again. he would rather kill himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, originally, it was meant to be this fucked up shit show. i wrote a whole chapter and then deleted it cuz it would be REALLY brutal and someone could die in that scenario so i just changed everything to this.  
> i didn't mention the name of any country cuz organization don't wanna badmouth any place ( although all the countries on this planet are the same anyway! )  
> i'm probably gonna finish this story at the 100th chapter..


	73. Seventy Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second half of the chapter will contain smut.

they were at their hometown a few hour later. they weren’t at a far away country anyway and they had been sent back by the devil’s private jet.

jongup kept asking him about what had happened. he couldn’t tell the truth but he also couldn’t lie. he ended up saying it was something related to one of his projects from his old job which wasn’t a lie. he told jongup to not tell the company about it. they would tell them they had been chilling somewhere in the days of their free time. he had to lie to the ceo but a lie was the least of his problems right now.

the taxi dropped jongup off at his place first. he really wished for everyone to be at their own houses not at his but he knew that would be impossible. they had probably slept there the whole days of his disappearance. going in the elevator and pushing the button of his floor, he looked in the mirror. he looked like a body without a soul, or even worse. dark circles were visible under his eyes and he hadn’t eaten anything for the past few days. it wasn’t like he could down anything after witnessing someone being tortured, mainly because of his delayed actions.

slapping his cheeks a few times to bring some colour to his paler than usual face and failing, he sighed deeply and walked out of the elevator and towards the door of his apartment. he was two digits in when the door opened furiously from the inside. on any other day, he would at least yelp but now he didn’t even have the energy to be shocked.

looking up, he saw hyungwon’s face for less than a second before the tall and slim figure jumped forward and hugged him as tight as he could and started crying.

wonho looked ahead and saw five pairs of eyes on them. they were all there. detaching hyungwon from himself, he smiled a half broken smile at him and walked passed him inside the place.

the next person to just randomly jump on him was his brother, changkyun. this one was even more eager and circled himself around his body completely. he was in pain. his stomach, his head, his whole being hurt and people just kept hugging him out of nowhere.

he waited until the younger let go of him before he resumed walking towards the bedroom. he didn’t waste any time in getting rid of his clothes and going under the shower, locking the glass door and closing the blinds behind himself. he wanted to be alone, floating in the warm water of the bathtub in the peaceful silence. he desperately wished for the images to leave his head. he could still hear the screams in his ears clearly, like the girl was standing right next to him, begging him to do something, to help him. he felt like suffocating, he hated himself for ever having learned hacking. he hated himself for waiting those two days. he just hated himself in general at that moment and he didn’t wanna get out of the tub cuz then he had 6 people he had to answer to and right now, he hated all of them and every other human being on the planet as well.

after what seemed like nearly an hour he finally went out. he didn’t bother with a towel and just put on clean clothes on his wet body, wetting the clothes as well. the material got stuck on his body which irritated him but he didn’t do anything about it.

dragging his feet on the floor, he went to the kitchen without looking around. opening the frig, he felt like puking even looking at any kind of food, especially the meat. he had seen enough meat being torn apart for the rest of his life, he couldn’t even think about eating those right now. closing it without taking anything out, he let himself fall on the chair and took a chocolate bar out of the cabin. ripping the package apart with his teeth and biting a small piece, he forced himself to swallow it but found out it was not a good idea cuz he could feel his stomach burn. he threw the chocolate away and looked up in front of him.

his eyes landed on hyungwon who was standing by the tv, observing his every move with his big eyes while fiddling with his fingers. he knew he should’ve been yearning for the younger but he just didn’t. he just..he just didn’t feel anything at the moment.

“ glad they’ve left.” he forced the words out of himself.

hyungwon bit on his lower lip before starting to take slow hesitant steps towards him.

“ they… figured you’d want to rest for now.” his voice was low and quiet. every action of him was with so much hesitance.

“ what are you so stiff for? i’m not gonna kill you for talking.” he said in his dead robotic voice.

“ i… don’t know. you just didn’t seem to want me to hug you, so i don’t know… i don’t wanna pressure you.”

wonho hummed and stood up. he went back to the bedroom and crawled under the covers and drifted off to dreamland soon after that. he didn’t realize how hyungwon sat on the edge of the bed, watching him with worried teary eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it had been almost a week since wonho had come back. jongup didn’t say anything other than they were chilling somewhere, no matter how many times they asked him. and wonho? well, he would sleep for most of the day, then went out alone to god knows where and went back and slept again. he hadn’t even got close to hyungwon once the whole time and the couple of times that the younger had wanted to start something, he would just push him away. hyungwon had intended on giving him time to calm down, to be ready to talk to him but the latter didn’t seem to want to do that any time soon. wonho was drowning and all of them could see that.

he had to force things out of wonho again.

changing the passcode of the apartment in case wonho decided to run away much like he had been doing every time the topic came up, he sat next to his boyfriend who was watching one of the saw movies on tv. he was quite shocked to see wonho stopping on this channel cuz normally he would never watch disgusting stuff like this.

taking the remote from the older’s hand and turning the tv off, he didn’t even get confronted with any objection. it was like wonho wasn’t watching it after all really. he seemed to be deeply drowned in his own head.

“ wonho “ he called him gently.

“ wonho, baby…” hyungwon caressed the side of wonho’s bicep. the latter jerked upon feeling his fingers on himself and pushed hyungwon away and then looked at him with widened eyes while breathing heavily. his eyebrows had a deep frown on them and then it seemed like the whole situation had made sense to him as he held his hand out for hyungwon to grab and made the younger sit up properly again.

“ i’m sorry. you scared me.”he let go of hyungwon’s hand as soon as the other was balanced.

“ it’s okay. wonho..” the other hummed while looking at the black tv screen.

“ why don’t you tell me about what happened? where were you? why was your phone off the whole time? who were those men that took you?”

wonho turned his head slowly to him. “ men? how do you know about that?”he had asked a question but didn’t carry the tone.

“ taehyung called me. said he saw a bunch of giant men taking you to some shady place. he even sent us the location. we were about to report to the police when we got your coded message.”

“ who’s taeh-,,, ah! taehyung!” hyungwon was surprised. how could wonho not know who taehyung was! the older was very fond of the blond boy and had been constantly worried about him.

“ yeah…… so,, would you tell me what happened please?” he placed his palm on top of wonho’s hand that was resting the sofa next to his thigh. he had lost a lot of weight. it was really obvious with how he felt the older’s bones under his palm.

“ there’s nothing to tell.” wonho just simply took his hand away and inter winded his own fingers together.

“ look at yourself babe. you’re not eating much, nearly starving yourself. and when you eat, it’s just a small piece of fruit or chocolate. and you’re sleeping like 23 hours out of 24!” he moved a bit closer slowly, not wanting to drive wonho away.“ you know you can talk to me. i won’t judge. please. i wanna be able to help.”

he heard a low chuckle and wonho man looked at him again. tilting his head while staring at him, like he was analyzing his facial features or something. eyes jumping from one spot to the other and then his gaze moved to other parts of his body. it was like hyungwon was his pray. he didn’t like it. he didn’t like the way wonho was looking at him, made him feel small. the look was unfamiliar and annoying and made him lose the patience that he had learned to have while working as a doctor.

he stood up and walked towards the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of wine and gulping it all down in one go. it seemed like a dead end this time. there was a thick layer of wall, one that no-one could get through unless wonho himself decided to let them.placing his glass on the corner of the counter and placing his palms on the surface, putting his weight on his arms, he sighed before speaking again.

“ we’re worried wonho. you disappeared. for 4 days. only telling us you’re fine by sending codes to minhyuk. even jongup is not saying anything. how are we supposed to-“

hyungwon was still not done talking when he felt wonho hugging him from behind. at first, he thought it was just a hug, but wonho wrapped his arms tighter around him and moved his palms all over his body. soon one of the older’s hands found it’s way under his shirt and roamed over his skin until the index finger brushed his nipple.

“ what are you doing?! we’re not done talking yet.” he said as he tried to push wonho away. he was being serious but the latter seemed to not care at all.

he felt wonho pressing his body flush to his back before a hot tongue started drawing paths on the skin of his neck. he wasn’t turned on. in fact, he was annoyed.

“ wonho. stop. HYUNG!” he shouted and finally managed to push the muscular man away from his body and turned to face him with a deep frown.

“ what are you doing!? is this a joke to you?”

wonho had that look on his face. that carefree look that could sometimes drive hyungwon crazy when the situation was serious but the older didn’t seem to give a single fuck. that look.

the older closed the distance again and wrapped his arms around him.

“ what?! everything’s over now. i’m here. it doesn’t matter anymore.” he buried his head in the crook of the younger’s neck and inhaled his scent. he had missed this scent so much. he had thought he could never smell or hug or feel the beautiful human in his arms ever again a few times during that couple of days but now that he was having him close, nothing mattered. he just wanted him. he needed him to forget. to forget the thing he had done. although no one needed to know about it and the guilt still didn’t leave him be.

“ i love your scent. makes me wish i was a vampire so i could bite your flesh and taste you thoroughly.” he bit rather hard on hyungwon’s shoulder after saying that and that made the younger actually wince in pain. pure pain, no pleasure to it what so ever.

hyungwon didn’t have time to react before he was roughly turned around like a doll and bent over so that his chest laid flat on the kitchen counter and he was held down by the hand on the side of his head, pushing his face on the cold surface.

it was all strange. from the moment he had seen wonho, the latter had been strange. and now this. wonho was not someone who would treat him like this. he felt like he was being raped or something. he was really sure that wonho’s teeth had left a clear scar on his shoulder earlier as it was still stinging and now his face was really being pushed on the hard surface like he was being punished for something he hadn’t even done.

wonho leaned down until his lips were by hyungwon’s ear.

“ be a good boy and let me fuck you like this. i’ve missed you so much.” he sucked his earlobe in his mouth and normally hyungwon would be losing his mind already but not this time. this time, his mind was cautious and confused and he just didn’t seem to get turned on by anything. if it was their normal act, he would be a moaning mess, even asking wonho for treating him rough but this felt different. wonho felt different.

“ wonho,,” he tried to oppose but wonho didn’t wait for him again as he simply bit into his neck after bearing more of his skin by pulling on his hair and making his head move backward a bit, face still pushed to the counter. wonho sucked hard on his skin and he could feel his skin moving between the older’s teeth.

while his neck and shoulder were being literally abused and left with so many dark red and purple marks that would last probably like two weeks at how rough they were, he felt wonho’s other hand traveling down between his legs, unzipping his jeans. as soon as the zipper was undone, wonho let go of him completely and removed his jeans and underwear, leaving him in his loose t-shirt only.

the rough fingers didn’t return in hyungwon’s hair. he started wondering what was wonho up to, as he couldn’t really see behind himself in the position he was at when he felt the familiar tongue of his boyfriend playing with him and soon after that entering him without any kind of warning. it was all so fast, happened like there was some sort of a time limit to it and had to be done as soon as possible. his hands that were spread on the counter next to him until now, found their way to the edge above his head, holding onto it for dear life. sure it was just a tongue, but it could feel weird and a bit painful even, when you weren’t turned on one bit with a million thoughts going on in your head.

“ hyung. stop… we shouldn’t be doing this right now.” he made his voice as firm as he could but his message didn’t seem to have delivered well.

“ wonh-“ he wasn’t even able to finish the name when two fingers entered him. his eyes opened as wide as they were capable of and he gasped in shock from the sudden action. wonho didn’t waste any time as he curled his fingers and hit the spot he knew by heart dead on in the first go.

hyungwon screamed, more of pain than pleasure.

“ won,, hyung, stop. what are you doi-“ another hit and his grip on the edges tightened, making his knuckles go white.

wonho stood up and leaned close to him, his fingers moving fast and hitting every time, leaving a not-so-turned on hyungwon trembling a bit.

“ why? you don’t want me to touch you?” his voice was a breathy whisper. hyungwon could tell that the older was already rock hard from the looks of it.

“ i-it’s not that,,” he groaned as another finger entered him. “ we should finish our talk first.” he found himself moaning suddenly. the fingers moving skilfully as ever were making his body temperature go high bit by bit. he felt the blood starting to rush down to his groin. his lips parted and he let out a shaky breath.“ we- we shouldn’t do this now…” his voice was weak. and his body was starting to like the movement of the fingers, so roughly abusing his prostate. he was turned on a bit now, but still not enough to endure the kind of pressure that was being applied on the spot. one particular extra curl of fingers hurt way more than it should and he found his body wanting to curl up but that resulted in the friction to be way more, causing the pain way worse and instead he hid his face on the cold surface and between his arms.

“ slow,,,down… it hurts.” the digits did not slow down. instead, extra fingers curled around his groin, squeezing him painfully for a few seconds, making him bite on his lower lip harshly, before wonho started stroking him fast from the very start. again, any other time and he would have come already but this time, it almost felt like he wanted to cry. he was a psychiatrist. he knew not to surrender when he didn’t wanna do something but was there anything he could do right now? wonho’s whole weight was on him, pressing his body on the kitchen counter as both his hands were busy with his lower parts and leaving several kisses and licks on his cheek and shoulder.

the fingers slowed down a bit and that actually made hyungwon’s body get warmer, his mind getting clouded a bit by the pleasure that was finally showing itself. he heard wonho’s voice as a whisper near his ear again, hot breath tickling his skin. “ the lube is too far away. i want you to take me raw. you’ll be a good kitten and take it, am i right?” the words were followed by a lick on his lips as the fingers left him completely. hyungwon was stressed, even a bit scared. he had never taken wonho raw before. his boyfriend was rather huge in size and even with lube, it was hard to adjust to without proper prep. wonho seemed too eager in his actions as seconds after that, he felt his huge member filling him in one move. it hurt. his lower back hurt and his ass hurt even more. the action had been smooth but the whole length had entered him in one move nevertheless, causing his insides to burn like there was an actual fire in there. he was panting, arms weak with the pressure he had applied on his grip during the past minutes.

suddenly he felt his hand being removed from the edges of the counter and held at his sides.

wonho gripped hyungwon’s long arms straight by the slim boy’s body and held them there by the wrists and started thrusting into him. slow at first but picking up the pace by each and every thrust. hyungwon curved his spine and lifted his head from the counter, moaning at the sensation. he was turned on but the friction was too much. after so long not having wonho inside, taking him like this was a bit too much for his slim body without lube. it seemed like wonho didn’t like the fact that hyungwon’s upper body wasn’t flush against the surface anymore as he crossed the slim arms behind hyungwon’s back, held them like that with one of his hands and pushed him back on the now warm surface. following that, he pushed hyungwon’s head down again by his other hand, restraining him completely and beginning to pound into him mercilessly.

the pleasure kept building up inside hyugnwon. it was still rough, he loved rough but with his lover, not the stranger that was inside him now, but he decided he should let his body relax at this point. there was no way he could fight against the strong hold that somehow seemed stronger than all the times before.

wonho kept thrusting into him, fast, hard and deep, making sure he would hit all the sensitive parts and making hyungwon scream in both pleasure and pain with each of them. he himself was moaning louder than he usually would.hyungwon’s arms hurt a bit at the grip on his back and he tried freeing them but the grip got even tighter so he just curled his long fingers around the hand that was holding him there like that. all vulnerable and without a chance to flee. when the pleasure was at it’s highest and hyugnwon was about to come, wonho put his hand on his mouth, covering his nose as well.

hyungwon’s eyes widened at the realization that he couldn’t breathe. he couldn’t breathe and he was about to come, which usually meant he needed more intakes of air but now no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get air in. the pleasure kept building up more and more by the now rougher and deeper thrusts, the hand on his back holding his arms in an iron grip and the hand on his mouth and nose, blocking his air. his eyes rolled back and he whimpered in the palm nonstop and soon after that, he came so intensely that he had never experienced before. wonho held the hand on his face for a couple of seconds into his orgasm and then let go of him completely after that. hyungwon started inhaling dramatically, making up for all the air that he had lost, lifting his body from the counter a bit for his chest and lungs to have proper space, with his shaking arms. not being able to hold himself up for long, he ended up falling on the counter again unwillingly, still panting with a dry throat.

he was still full, meaning that wonho still hadn’t come. and then suddenly, like all the other actions during the past half an hour, he was lifted up in the air. he closed his eyes, trying to gather himself a bit from the strangest orgasm he had ever had in his life. he found himself on the soft sheets, finally his back feeling a bit at ease but the feeling didn’t last much as wonho was inside of him again the second they were on the bed. it took wonho a good amount of thrusts to finally come inside him and leave him in his sore and over-sensitive state. and then he pulled out, kissed hyungwon in a sloppy open-mouthed kiss and let himself fall on the sheets next to him, falling asleep not long after.

it was like wonho had pressed the switch and turned off his body to fall asleep just as fast as that. the whole situation was really really strange. hyungwon stretched his hand to pick the tissues from the nightstand and cleaned himself up, something he was doing himself for the first time. wonho had always done the aftercare until now. falling back on the bed and turning to wonho who was now curled into a ball like a baby with his mouth parted a bit, he found himself wanting to cry again. have something happened to his lover the few days they had basically kidnapped him? the whole 40 minutes of literally fucking him against his will was nothing like the wonho he knew. even in his days at the hospital, he had never shown any behavior like this. moving closer to the older, he curled his arm around wonho and kissed his eye and forehead and closed his eyes. trying to sleep as well, cuz he knew tomorrow would be a long day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone tell wonho that he is a vampire in the other story so he doesn't have to bite our poor kitten here. >.<


	74. Seventy Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *******WARNING*******  
> This chapter contains some violent stuff that may not be suitable for everyone.  
> p.s.: i'm sorry we're going a bit off road from our lovey-dovey fluffy hyungwonho love story but every story needs its salt. just a bit.

 

 

‘ wonho is the luckiest kpop artist ever ‘

‘ the bravest kpop male artist to come out of the closet ‘ 

‘ the first solo kpop artist to hit it big worldwide ‘ 

‘ is there even anything wonho doesn’t have? ‘ 

‘ wonho on top 10 of the richest idols of the year again ‘

‘ many people saying: i wish i was wonho ‘

‘ the kpop artist who has it all ‘ 

.

.

.

.

 

 

the articles made him laugh. every time an article came out, saying he was perfect and had such an amazing life, one they wrote about in fairy tails and assuming wonho was living one, he wanted to laugh. well he really wanted to cry but.. laughing was always a better option. especially in media conferences and interviews where they were cameras and people everywhere. 

was his life perfect as they said it was? no. it was far from that.

 

going through his rough childhood, the amount of mental abuse he had to endure, he thought by becoming an adult, he would be okay. he thought wrong.

he had learned to hack as a joke. a way to prank his friends and teachers with. one time he hacked into the school’s system and changed everyone’s grades to A++. grades didn’t matter anyway. he became the Robin Hood of the area that year, before he left the city to start working at that big company.

after the first time of doing the dirty job for that disgusting old man who seemed to never wanna die, he told him straight in the face that they wouldn’t do any favors for them ever again. he was childish to think a big government mafia man would take him seriously though.

something like 8 months later, he got kidnapped. the old man loved making scenes, the ones in those shitty mafia movies, with the head of the gang sitting with a coat hanging over the shoulders, a cigar between the lips and a hand circling the ridiculously expensive wine, all the while looking at the person who was tied to a chair with a gun over their head, terrified and clueless.

that was how he had felt the first time. terrified and clueless. he wasn’t even 20 and he had somehow managed to upset one of the most powerful men in the country, enough for him to threaten him with a gun, with his life.

he said he didn’t wanna do anything for that old fuck but the man had a different opinion. upon seeing that he didn’t really care if he was killed right at that moment, the strategy was changed. he was told if he didn’t do what he was asked for, minhyuk, the boy who was as bright as the sun, would be the replacement, if not in danger of dying. that’s how he ended up being, as the mafia boss liked to call him, his ‘bitch’.

after winning the dance competition and coming back to their works, he was contacted by them again. he couldn’t keep doing this. he just couldn’t. after a month of weighing everything in search of a way to both guarantee everyone’s safety and being secure from the man himself, or rather being secure from not being forced to do something he really didn’t wanna be a part of, he came up with an idea. he had to become famous. famous enough that no-one could touch him.

sure he had really and honestly enjoyed being on the stage and all the applause he had received while dancing but that wouldn’t be enough for him to leave programming, the thing he was really passionate about, behind. it was perhaps the only fortunate thing in his life, that he happened to really love being a singer and doing what he did from that point on as well. his original dream had been earning enough money for himself until 35 and then retiring, traveling the whole world and then it didn’t matter anymore. as long as he had seen every place, it didn’t matter when and how he would die. everyone died at some point anyway. it wasn’t like anybody really cared or loved him. his own parents didn’t seem to care so why would anybody else.

but of course, although he had grown up a bit, he was still naive to believe being so ridiculously famous, would stop the person he hated the most on this planet from forcing him into doing things.

he meant it, when he said he would take his own life if they ever summoned him again, he meant it. every last word of it.

but it didn’t matter whether they’d take him seriously this time or would just kidnap him again in half a year or something. the damage was done.

the screams, the look of horror and all the redness didn’t leave his mind. her screams were loud enough in his head that wonho couldn’t hear the voices that were being so active the past few days. he knew they were there, digging and feeding on his sorrow, but he couldn’t really hear them clearly. how could people want to be him? how could anyone want to be in his place? constantly having nightmares, not once sleeping a whole 8 hours without waking up in fear, unless he was dead tired. but then they weren’t to blame, no-one knew about his dirty little secret. and they would never know. he would never tell anyone about what kind of a person he actually was. he did a mafia boss’s dirty work. he had done it exactly 7 times now. each time had left a permanent scar on him but the last one had been the final straw. it had broken him and no matter how many miles he ran, no matter how much he cried while sneaking out of the apartment and going deep into the woods outside of the city where he was alone and screamed his lungs out in helplessness, he didn’t seem to be able to put himself back together.

and then there were the people around him. he didn’t even know why they bothered with him. he wasn’t worthy of all the worry in their eyes. he had let a girl be tortured and get ripped apart, he definitely didn’t deserve to be cared for. sometimes he couldn’t even hear them talking. they would talk and talk and he would float in a sea of the color red, filled with that beautiful girl’s blood, and would let himself drown. a shake of his body would pull him out of that state, the look on the one who had been talking to him, showing that he should give some sort of an answer, but he had none cuz he hadn’t been able to listen to their words in the first place.

he remembered how it had felt loving the tall guy. he did have beautiful pink hair but now he really didn’t know what all the fuss was about. he knew one thing, that he hated being touched but hyungwon kept trying to get close to him. that’s why he stayed out more and came back only to fall straight asleep on the sofa in the living room.

but that day, the person who was living with had another idea. he watched how the slim boy changed the passcode and locked it from the inside but he didn’t really care. he could easily mute his surroundings so the guy could talk all he wanted. but then, something on tv had caught his attention. a scene pretty similar to the image he had in his head. he remembered again. he had forgotten a second ago, focusing on the boy and now the memories were back. when he came back to reality by the annoying touch of his….boyfriend, he felt the desire to wreck him. at first, it was just a tiny dot in his head but with each word and each inch that the younger boy moved closer to him, the desire grew bigger. he really wanted to see him in pain. why did he always have to be the only one suffering alone?

and that’s when he acted on the voice that told him to break the fragile looking boy into pieces. to ruin him so badly, it would leave him in red, black and blue. that’s what he had intended to do but something was stopping him from going completely berserk. something, someONE, was begging him to stop from the inside. it was like someone was caged deep inside the dark hole in his chest, screaming and begging him to stop. he didn’t. he only went as gentle as he could on the boy under him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

his head hurt. he was hungry, so much that he felt like he could eat a whole elephant in one sitting. wonho groaned as he opened his eyes and found himself in the bedroom of their apartment, next to his beautiful lover. he smiled, seeing his innocent looking face pressed on the pillow. but his smile didn’t last long as he saw a scratch just below hyungwon’s left eye, on his cheekbone, and remembered the events of the day before.

‘ hyung, … stop ‘

‘ stop, wonho, stop ‘

‘ we shouldn’t be doing this ‘

‘ slow down, it hurts ‘

hyungwon’s voice and the pained look on his face filled his head. he couldn’t believe it. he couldn’t believe he had done such a horrible thing to the most precious human being.

his hands were shaking like crazy when he reached out for the blanket that was covering hyungwon to his head, covering his whole body, and after hesitating for a second, not ready to actually see what he had done, he pulled it off of the sleeping figure completely. his breath got stuck in his lungs as he saw all the marks that could easily sell off as actual bruises with how intense they were. hyungwon was covered in them. his wrists were a faint purplish red and had an imprint of his fingers around them where he had held him tightly. his shoulders and neck were a crime scene. a big angry bite mark was more than visible and showing off on the crook of his neck. wonho couldn’t spend a whole 3 seconds looking at his doing without tearing up. the warm liquid started rolling down his eyes, dropping on the sheets like a waterfall. he was frozen. he couldn’t turn his head away from the person who was sleeping so beautifully, covered in what he had created, but he couldn’t keep his eyes on him either. he found it hard to breathe and without him knowing, his grip on hyungwon’s forearm tightened. so much that it made hyungwon’s body jerk in sleep and he shifted his body, opening his eyes slowly at first. upon seeing wonho by his side, looking at him, he woke up completely and smiled wide, like he had forgotten what he had gone through a few hours back. like he didn’t blame his ass of a boyfriend at all.

“ hey baby “ the sweet voice talked to him but it didn’t pass his eardrums really. hyungwon’s fingers curled around his grip on the latter’s arm warmly, and that’s when he realized he was crushing his bones under his palm.

wonho let his hand off hyungwon’s body in an instant, jumping back and off the bed. he stepped all the way back till his back hit the wall. his hands were scratching on its surface as his whole body was trembling and tears kept falling down without him being really aware of it.

“ hey.. what’s wrong? wonho? babe, what’s wrong?” hyungwon panicked upon seeing wonho like that and tried to sit up but failed as his body curled on its own due to the sudden pain that shot through his spine. swallowing hard, he made himself stand up and put a robe on quickly to cover the evidence, failing cuz most of the horror was located on his neck and shoulders that couldn’t be covered by that and walked towards wonho who was looking at his every move with terrified eyes.

hyungwon straightened his hand, trying to reach wonho, to calm him down but his hand was pushed away as wonho slipped further away from him and slid down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest and curling his arms around them. the older hid his face in the little space he had between his arms and his body started moving back and forth.

he looked so small like that. curling up in the corner of the room, trembling and sniffling. hyungwon walked to him again, and he let his fingertips brush against wonho’s hair but he was pushed away instantly.

“ Stay away from me “ wonho yelled at him, having looked up at his fallen body to the ground.

“ stay away. please. i… i hurt you..” his voice cracked and he grew paler.

hyungwon sat up and crawled to him again, cuz he really couldn’t manage to stand up anymore, and hugged wonho like that. he let his hands circle tightly around his boyfriend and stroked his hair repeatedly.

wonho’s head was hanging low.

“ shshsh, i’m fine. it was a bit rough but nothing my body couldn’t handle. okay? we’re fine.” he whispered slowly, making sure his words would pass the chaos that wonho’s head must have been in at that moment.

wonho looked up at him, making hyungwon to loosen his arms a bit as he looked into the now red eyes of the older due to the endless tears.

the older let go of his knees as he raised his hand and stroke over the bite mark hesitantly. hyungwon didn’t even feel the touch with how light and careful it was. for a second, he thought wonho had calmed down a bit but little did he know what was about to come.

wonho looked at him with teary eyes, tears having slowed down a bit but still came out of the corner of his eyes one after the other. the older took his hand in his both palms and pressed his lips to the back of it.

“ hyungwon … i’m sorry …” it sounded like something final. like the last words someone would say before leaving. hyungwon was scared, it was nothing like he had ever seen as the older let go of him and curled up again, clutching to his chest and struggled to breathe. it didn’t take long for him to fall to the ground completely while shutting his eyes tightly and inhaling roughly, only to fail. he couldn’t get any air in. wonho was going through so much pain, physically and emotionally and none of it was in his control. he had lost himself. there was nothing left he could do. everything was ruined. he had believed that hyungwon was the only person that really loved him, the only one that only looked at him and him alone. but…. after what he had done, he had ruined it all. hyungwon couldn’t possibly be looking at him or feel the same way about him ever again. he had lost it all. his sanity, his lover, his will to hold on to something. he was as good as gone. darkness got closer and closer to him as hyungwon’s panicked screams calling his name got further away. and then, a while later, he was in peace. he didn’t feel anymore. he just wasn’t anyone, anymore. he let the oblivion swallow him whole. it was the best thing to do.

 

 

 

 

 


	75. Seventy Five

  

{ park bo-young, jeonghan } 

 

 

 

 

“ it’s been two days. why doesn’t he wake up? “ jooheon asked for the nth time,peeking through the small glass in the hospital room’s door.

 

“ the doctor already explained it, joo. he went through a terrible shock. his brain is keeping the body in check by forcing it into remaining unconscious.” kihyun replied.

 

“ yeah, but how can we know he’s okay in there? being unconscious and all. “

 

“ we don’t know. “ hyungwon walked to them from the place he had disappeared to some minutes before. “ we just have to wait for him to wake up. “ his tone was rather cold. like he was one of the doctors, explaining the situation. just a doctor.

 

jooheon narrowed his eyes. “ how can you be so calm? “ he suddenly felt the need to punch hyungwon. even he didn’t know where that came from.

 

the tall boy let out a silent chuckle and looked down “ calm… “

hyungwon exhaled and looked back up again “ there’s nothing we can do. it’s not a movie. we can’t hold his hands and talk to him and then he magically wakes up. he has to overcome this on his own. “

 

jooheon gritted his teeth and got out of his seat, bumping into hyungwon purposefully, pushing him aside on his way out of the hallway.

 

hyungwon sat down beside kihyun and leaned his head back on the white wall. he was starting to get sick by all the whiteness. a little cooler wouldn’t kill anyone in the hospitals.

 

“ i saw you holding his hand and talking to him a few hours ago though. “

he heard ki say and smiled bitterly.

 

“ that’s the only thing i can do. it won’t help him but it will help me relax a bit. “ he sat up properly.

“ aren’t you supposed to be in the restaurant? it’s okay. i’m staying here anyway. he won’t be alone.”

 

“ yeah, but you will. and the restaurant is okay. my assistant is a hell of a chef herself anyway. she’ll take care of things. “

 

“ what was her name again? “

 

“ bo-young “ he chuckled remembering her almost setting the whole kitchen on fire the first day he started working for him.

 

“ ay! i see you mr. i-don’t-care-about-love ! you like her! “ hyungwon poked kihyun on his side with his elbow.

 

“ i don’t not care about love. i’m just not as gross as you guys are. “ he laughed and pushed hyungwon away teasingly.

 

“ hmmm, wait till you fall in love and then you’ll be just as gross. “ and that was it. for a second they had forgotten the situation they were at. silence fell upon them again as they waited for the older to wake up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ hyungwon… wake up.” he sat up quickly, rubbing the sleep off his eyes.

“ i’m up. what is it?” he said still half asleep.

“ he’s… awake. “

hyungwon smiled wide and jumped up, basically running to the bed on the other side of the big VIP room. there were a doctor and three interns by the bed.

 

wonho was sitting, looking perfectly fine and stable. the latter looked at him briefly and then looked back at the doctor. no sign of interest was shown on his face. something was wrong. no-one was talking. why wasn’t anyone saying anything?

 

“ so… am i free to go? i’ve been dying to be free for a looooong time now. “ wonho said but didn’t wait for an answer as he pushed the covers aside with more power than needed, resulting in the material to fall on the ground by hyungwon’s feet. he jumped down the bed, stretched his body in every possible position before standing straight in front of the doctor, who seemed quite confused.

“ never mind. you can get paid by his credit card, meaning i don’t need your permission to get out. “ he fixed the doctor's name tag, winked at him and went to the bathroom.

 

hyungwon was lost. “ you look like something’s wrong. what is it?” he spoke quietly, scared of hearing the answer, whatever it could be.

“ he…uh,… he said he’s not shin wonho anymore. “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

there they were again. back at where they met the very first time. the hospital hyungwon used to work at. wonho was sitting at the exact same spot he had sat the time hyungwon had walked into himchan’s room, accepting the folder that had the singer’s info in it. but sitting in the exact same spot didn’t mean everything else was the same. it wasn’t. everything was different. to the point that hyungwon didn’t know if it could be fixed this time.

no-one had ever found the literal reason for this kind of coping strategy the brain would come up with. no-one had found any actual treatment either. that’s something hyungwon had never seen in his time of working as a doctor. even himchan was lost, saying he had only seen one case before in his early years.

alas, there they were. all seven of them. wonho as the patient and the others as confused, worried and lost friends and lover who didn’t know what would be next.

 

“ so, you’re saying you’re not wonho anymore.” himchan asked.

“ for the millionth time, yes.” he answered calmly.

“ who are you then? “

“ no-one in particular. “ wonho shrugged.

“ what should we call you? do you have a name? “

the latter inhaled and pouted his lips, seeming in thought. “ i don’t. “

“ you don’t? “ himchan appeared surprised. “ how can you not have a name?”

“ well, you see the thing is, “ he shifted in his seat, getting more comfortable and spreading his arms on the armrest. “ wonho here, believed that names are useless. every label to be more precise. so when i came around the corner, he didn’t really try to give me one. “

“ but if names are useless, then how would people address each other? how would they communicate? “

“ i don’t know! you tell me! “ he chuckled playfully. “ but if you really need a name, what about lucifer? “

“ lucifer?! that’s not a good name…”

“ why? lucifer was a beautiful angel. the fact that he didn’t wanna bow down to a filthy human doesn’t mean he’s evil. he actually got a point. “ his smile fell all of a sudden. “ humans are the evil ones. they did terrible things to wonho. he really didn’t deserve it.”

“ what did they do to wonho? “

“ i can’t tell you that. “

“ why? “ no answer.

 

“ you know that wonho created you. that’s not a common thing to happen. how are you aware of that? “

“ i didn’t know it either. at first i mean. but then, when he got diagnosed, which he doesn’t remember, i figured it all out. i sorta knew, cuz it’s just the both of us. the doctors kept searching for others but there’s none. it’s just me and him. “

“ do you wanna hurt him? “ wonho looked at himchan from under his bangs for several seconds. something changed in him. a moment ago, he was like this pure, playful innocent kid that answered everything and even came along with them to the hospital willingly and now his gaze appeared almost dangerous.

“ i wanna protect him. “

“ from what? “

“ from himself. from his memories? he’s a sensitive little girl. he can’t handle stuff very well. raping that pinkie was the last thing he did before he reached out for me. Fucking finally!” he pointed at hyungwon. everyone looked shocked as they looked at the tall boy with wide eyes.

“ oops, i guess he hadn’t told you about it. yeah, he basically-“

“ enough.” hyungwon shouted. “ he didn’t mean it. he was… not himself.”

“ he was. “ he smirked and hyungwon hated that smirk. it looked disgusting even. himchan cleared his throat and wonho tore his eyes away from him and looked back at the head doctor.

“ so, you know the occurrings in his life? what else do you know? is it like you’re witnessing his life or…? “

“ it’s like i’m living with him. just that he doesn’t know it. as for the other stuff i may know…. “ he looked around the room and his eyes settled on kihyun.

“ you should really decide to whom you wanna confess. really dude, having crushes from both genders at the same time, is not healthy.” the next person he looked at was shownu, who was standing by kihyun. he grinned devilishly.

“ if he was a switch, he would definitely let you fuck him. i mean he thought about it the first time he saw you.” then he leaned in towards shownu, pretended he was whispering “ fun fact is, he is a switch, he just doesn’t know it yet.” then he laughed out loud, holding his stomach.

“ he is not a switch!” minhyuk said. “ believe me! i tried! “

“ oops, you caught me. i lied.” then he laughed again. “ and you should be really thankful towards him. wonho is sensitive but he is stronger than you. he's a fighter. if you were in his place, you’d probably kill yourself by now.” minhyuk blinked repeatedly, not having any clue what he was talking about.

“ what do yo-“ he was interrupted.

“ he really liked your soft lips that one time you guys kissed. i actually don’t know how you never ended up fucking but anyway..”

the next victim was changkyun, who hadn’t said one word this whole time.

“ i’m sorry kid but you should really start using some other cologne cuz the one you use doesn’t cover the weed’s smell really well.”

changkyun frowned and then his mouth opened but he didn’t say anything.

“ you smoke weed?!” kihyun yelled at changkyun who didn’t show any response.

“ and you… your sister is most probably dead. this hypocrite, he says he hates lying but then has so many secrets! “ hyungwon really wanted to punch this guy. he bit on his lips hard enough to taste the iron on his tongue.

“ you said you want to protect him. why are you spilling all this information then? it’s not exactly in the protecting protocol.”

“ fuck protocols. plus, i’m not planning to give the wheel back to him. it’s not like he wants it back anyway. “ he said and chewed on the big gum inside his mouth, smirking.

 

 

they walked out of the office. all of them behind himchan and wonho, or the guy they knew as wonho.

“ we’re done for today but you have to choose a name for yourself.”he looked around the place which was filled with many patients walking around until his eyes fell upon a boy. his long platinum hair was spreading on his shoulders and would bounce as he walked past them.

“ hey, “ he grabbed the boy’s forearm and made him stop and look back at him.

“ what? “ the boy said, irritation obvious in his tone.

“ what’s your favorite name? “

“ huh?! “

“ just tell me a name you like. “

“ hoseok.” the boy simply replied and pulled his arm out of now hoseok’s grip, threw him a death gaze and walked away.

“ hoseok it is then. “ he looked back at all of them and smiled like he hadn’t terrorized them all a while back.

“ good. let’s get you to your room then hoseok. “ kai said and started leading him towards the steps.

“ don’t let jeonghan’s soft features fool you. he can get very violent if you trigger him.”

“ ooooh kinky. i like it.” hyungwon heard them talk as they moved away.

he wanted to cry. he wanted to go to the darkest corner of the world, curl up and cry. his wonho was gone and now this hoseok guy, who was apparently a douchebag lived in his lover’s body. he remembered all the papers he read during his studies about this kind of disorder. all of the odds of wonho coming back was against them. they were really screwed this time. the only silver lining was that this hoseok guy had actually agreed on staying here. which didn’t make any sense at all. nothing did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... yeah :)  
> my friend always loved this plot and i wanted to fulfill her wish :)  
> this story was meant to be held in the psychiatric hospital the whole time and then it became a love story along the way so we're just going back to the roots for a bit again.  
> i know it's not how this disorder usually works, but i wanted to bend it a bit, just cause this is a fanfic and i can hehe.  
> i'll be updating rapidly cuz the whole plot is floating in my head and i have to get it out so you guys won't be left upset and thirsty for my blood for long.


	76. Seventy Six

  

{ Kim Eli } 

 

 

=====================================

 

“ are you okay? “

hyungwon was currently feeling half, if not fully, dead as he let himself fall on the chair in the corner of himchan’s office. the head doctor had the audacity to ask him if he was okay. how could he be? he felt like he had lost his all, along with the ability to breathe.

 

“ no! “ he forced the two-letter word out as he covered his eyes with his palm, head resting on the back of the giant therapy chair.

 

“ don’t be so hard on yourself, hyungwon. he’ll be okay. “ the doctor patted his shoulder but the words made his blood boil in a matter of second. he sat up feeling all kinds of anxious and glared at the older man, standing by his side.

 

“ oh will he? we don’t know any certain facts about this disorder. no-one knows how it really works. i’ve been reading all sorts of researches and articles and yet, here i am. i have not a single fucking clue of how we should bring him back. “ he sighed in defeat and bent down, resting his elbows on his calves, looking at the wooden floor.“it’s been three weeks. three fucking WEEKS! he doesn’t give us any info, nor does he talk to us. i thought he would co-operate when he agreed with coming here.” he shook his head and rubbed his face repeatedly in frustration. “ he doesn’t even look at me. all he does is mocking and pranking others, making them angry at him and then hide in jeonghan’s room in case they come to whoop his ass. i REALLY hate him. he is nothing like wonho. ” he took a deep breath after talking nonstop and blinked repeatedly to push the tears back.

himchan sat next to him and hugged his shoulder, making him rest his head on the older man’s and he felt how a gentle hand stroked over his hair softly.

“ i know it’s hard for you and that you really hate him. it’s even obvious in the way you look at him. hoseok is really stubborn. more than wonho everdecided to be. do you think he’ll come near you after all the death glares you’ve thrown at him? i think you should take the first step. go talk to him. not fight, just talk. see if you can become friends even. maybe that will help us get information out of him cuz i’ve tried everything and he still doesn’t talk. and to think that i thought wonho was a hard patient to deal with! phew! “ he chuckled remembering the time he really wanted to choke wonho the first week he had came to the hospital, being an ass and all. it almost felt like a good memory comparing the amount of patience he had to come up with to deal with hoseok.

 

a knock on the door made himchan stand up and walk towards it while the door opened and a rather handsome man in a suit came in. they shook hands firmly and the man glanced towards hyungwon who was still seated on the chair, not really caring about manners.

“ hyungwon, this is doctor Kim. he has several experiences working with dissociative identity disorder patients in united states. i wrote him a mail a couple of weeks back and he was interested in wonho’s case. so he agreed to come to help us for a while here.” upon hearing that, hyungwon’s eyes lit up and he jumped up, basically running to the well-built man with how fast he walked. the action must have been funny to the man who chuckled and stretched his hand for hyungwon to shake. he didn’t hesitate, shaking the offered hand many times more than necessary.

he was a bit shorter than him but still taller than wonho and he had styled up black hair and a body that hyungwon was sure would make the nurses drool after.

“ please, call me Eli. i’m not into honorifics. “ the man smiled kindly at him.

“ hyungwon. “

“ i know. i read your thesis. it’s a shame you don’t work in this field anymore. i could tell you would have a promised future had you continued. “

“ you read my thesis?! but why?! “ he couldn’t understand why a doctor from the united states would read something he had written in a country on another side of the planet. it hadn’t even been that big a deal.

“ why?! it is a rather new topic no-one really dares going into and a student had just dived right into it. of course, i found it interesting.”hyungwon smiled for the first time in god knows how long and it wasn’t even a crooked one. he was genuinely happy hearing that from the man whose he still was holding hands with. ‘ YOU ARE STILL HOLDING HIS HAND HYUNGWON! ‘ his head screamed at him and he looked down at their linked palms with wide eyes. him being how he was, pulled his hand away in a rushed act instead of acting nonchalant and made himself so embarrassed in front of the doctor who had just talked so highly of him. he bit on his bruised bottom lip and looked down to his feet, head hung low.

he heard chuckles from both men and felt a hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the sofa. they all sat down. Eli next to him and himchan across from them.

 

“ so… i’ve read all the information you sent me but could you tell me in person as well? i wanna know more.” eli said as he opened the two buttons of his suit and sat back comfortably, patting hyungwon’s shoulder once to make him collect himself and pay attention.

 

“ as i said earlier, the host’s name is shin wonho. hoseok, the only other personality we’ve seen who claims there’s only the two of them, is the person we’re currently dealing with. or should i say, trying to deal with. there’s just no way getting through him. “ himchan explained.

 

“ you said he has mood swings? did wonho have them as well? “ eli looked at hyungwon who didn’t really look like he was listening. “ hyungwon? “

 

hyungwon heard his name and the question registered in his head.

“ uh,,, he did have mood swings but it was for when he had an addiction. as soon as he was clean, he rarely had those. he is actually a sweetheart. nothing like this devil who is possessing his body right now.”

 

“ you know, for someone who explained everything so logically in their thesis, you are an extremely emotional person. i’m surprised! “ and then the now familiar chuckle followed and the doctor looked back at himchan.

 

“ the thing with dissociative identity disorder is that the patients often show signs of other mental conditions as well. we have mood swings, which i think could be more of a borderline personality than a mood swing in hoseok’s case. and you said he was addicted? what was wonho addicted to and why did he start? “

 

“ drugs. alcohol. he… and his ex had an accident which led to his ex being in a coma for a while and they broke up after so the trauma led him to the addiction. he even over-dosed several times. “

 

“ over-doses? were they over-dosing or suicide attempts? “ with this question, hyungwon grew pale. back then, he had been too occupied with lili that he never really thought about the possibility of wonho having had suicide attempts. suddenly he felt like all of his short career as a doctor had been a major fail as he looked at himchan for help. the latter cleared his throat and looked at him concerned before he started talking.

 

“ i think a couple of them might have been failed suicide attempts. wonho never confirmed it but the few times i brought it up he didn’t deny it either. knowing that he wouldn’t lie even if his life depended on it, i think he somehow confirmed me by not opposing me. “

 

“ what?! “ hyungwon heard himself asking. “ why didn’t i know about this?”

 

“ you had too much on your plate back then.” himchan looked apologetic almost.

 

“ oh! i almost forgot. the thing that made me the most interested in this case,…” eli shifted excitedly as if he was about to get the most delicious food there is on earth “ you said wonho heard voices talking to him. do you know what they said exactly? “

 

“ he didn’t say… but i could tell they weren’t friendly. the two-three times i witnessed it, he would just curl up and beg them to stop until i found a way to distract him. he said they’d been more active when he was a child and then they had suddenly disappeared until recently.”

 

“ what happened recently?”eli asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“ i got attacked by one of his fans. long story. basically, he thought he was the reason for my injury and felt guilty. he always feels guilty! “ hyungwon groaned and hid his face in his palms again, helplessness piling up with every passing second. couldn’t wonho come back already? was he even trying in there or … had he really given up on them? hyungwon felt selfish to think about himself and whether wonho was somehow thinking about him wherever he was in this whole mess.

he felt a hand on his back, rubbing soothing patterns. “ it’s okay hyungwon. we’re gonna bring him back. i’ve had several cases with this disorder and have managed to make someone with 24 personalities stable. we’re only dealing with two here so it should be okay in time. you just have to be patient and try to get close to him. hoseok, i mean. maybe wonho will feel the need to resurface if he feels and hears you around. “ 

sitting up straight, hyungwon barely nodded, thinking about the fact that he needed to spend time with hoseok who was apparently always eating jeonghan’s face whenever he saw them around the corners. that was all he was gonna think they were doing. he refused to think any further. the very kissing wasn’t even allowed in the hospital but both jeonghan and hoseok could be quite violent so no-one really did anything to separate them anyway. that was the main reason hyungwon had stayed away. he couldn’t look at his lover’s body, kissing someone else with all the tongue and touching and ughhhh….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it was lunch time. hyungwon had been asked by Eli personally, to spend the daytime in the hospital and even stay there the whole time if he was able to. he had agreed since he had nothing else to do, he couldn’t really focus on dancing and had fallen down too many times for shownu to just dismiss him for the time being. jobless and frustrated, he spent most of his time at the hospital and went home for a shower or some sleep. this had been his routine for the past ten days. Eli had tried talking to hoseok several times and the latter had actually talked to him but the doctor hadn’t started getting any serious info out of him yet, saying he should try and become friendly with him first before going into his doctor mode.

hyungwon himself had tried his very very very best to at least talk to hoseok but… yeah, he had failed. every time he had found him asleep or playing around with some other troublesome patients or making out with jeonghan. the guy was beautiful and hyungwon had always appreciated beauty but at this point, he was literally thirsty for the long-haired boy’s blood.

picking on his food and not really eating it, he saw hoseok, jeonghan and… ji-eun?! walking in. was that ji-eun?! what was she even doing there? and she was in the nurses’ uniform. curiosity got the best of him as he stood up and walked to them, stopping in front of the girl, calling her and making the three of them look at him with surprised expressions.

 

“ ji-eun?! what are you doing here?! “

“ aah, i forgot you guys knew each other.” he heard hoseok say but didn’t look at him.

“ i got transferred here for the replacement of one of the nurse’s going on her maternity leave. i saw wonho and his handsome friend on my way to the dining room.”

“ that’s not wonho. that’s hoseok. haven’t you introduced yourself to her, hoseok?” hyungwon glared at the man who was looking at him like he was rather entertained by his frustration.

“ aaaah, here you go ruining all the fun! i wasn’t gonna tell her yet!” the latter replied and grinned in a nasty playful way.

“ what?! hoseok?! does wonho have a twin brother or something?” ji-eun asked dumbfounded, looking back and forth between the two who appeared to be in some kind of a staring contest.

“ nope. wonho’s had the multiple personality disorder without anyone knowing. hoseok is the other one.” hyungwon replied without looking away from the older’s eyes. it was actually the first time in a month he had looked at him this close eye to eye. for a mere second, he forgot it wasn’t wonho and was about to jump into his arms that weren’t as muscular anymore cuz hoseok was lazy as fuck.

“ oh! look at you being so sweet. i actually thought you were gonna say some really mean thing about me but you explained it just the way it was and not as ‘ he is the demon who is possessing my boyfriend ‘ or something similar. “ hoseok circled his arm around jeonghan’s waist who was just looking at them uninterested and they walked past him and sat behind one of the empty tables, starting their food.

 

“ is it true? is he….. not wonho anymore? i thought it was strange that he stopped texting me all of a sudden.” hyungwon tore his eyes away from the joking duo and looked back at the tiny feature of ji-eun.

“ yeah… i’m sorry, i should’ve told you. you must’ve worried.” he felt ridiculous now that he had once felt jealous of the kind-hearted girl. she was the sweetest and it was no wonder wonho was so fond of her. kind people tend to be really good friends after all.

“ no… it’s okay. you must be going through a lot right now. well, i think it’s not a bad thing i got transferred here after all. i’ll be keeping your company during this. just…. just talk to me or let me help in whatever way i can, okay?” ji-eun held his hand in her small palms and looked at him with her big eyes. hyungwon smiled and hugged her briefly before going back to his tray of food. ji-eun sat next to her and they ate their food in silence. something was floating in his head. did hoseok think hyungwon was being mean to him?….

 


	77. Seventy Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i hate myself for writing this chapter.

 

_**' Company announces hiatus for the Kpop solo artist, Wonho, due to mental health issues.** _

_According to the company,_ _wonho_ _has been struggling with severe depression for a while now. the artist's condition has been getting worse, resulting in the decision to take a step back and get proper treatments. **'**_

 

 

 

 

 

*******

 

Hyungwon didn't know what was worse. the fact that the company had made an official announcement or the fact that they had lied.

after almost three weeks of having no sign of wonho what-so-ever, the company's CEO had paid a visit to the hospital, having a long talk with both Eli and Himchan and had decided to make the singer's hiatus official. the fans had been going crazy, making the #whereiswonho and #findwonho hashtags trending nonstop and they deserved some kind of an explanation.

but, they had lied. of course, it was for the best. after all even having 'severe depression' was equal to being mental in public's eye, they couldn't go ahead and tell them about the multiple personality disorder or wonho's career would come to an end right on the spot.

they had talked to wonho's mother, like Eli had wanted to and even now, after about a week, hyungwon was still processing everything. he had thought out of the two of them, he was the one with more drama in his life while growing up, having an unstable sister with parents who really didn't understand why she was the way she was, but hearing wonho's mother say all those things,,, he wanted to punch himself. he had let the older embrace him and help him calm down and get back on his feet after his endless crying sessions. he had fallen asleep countless times, alone, while thinking that the older was performing and doing what he loved and enjoyed while he was alone and cold. he knew it wasn't true and that wonho missed him dearly, but like all other people, he thought wonho was actually finally having it all, despite all the episodes he experienced here and there. and boy was he wrong.

wonho had told him about his childhood. not everything, not in detail, but he had. and even the little bit of the older's past that he had decided to share with hyungwon, had hurt him back then. every time he had dared to think about the things wonho had to go through growing up, his chest had ached. all those times that he had hugged wonho out of nowhere and got the older by surprise was the proof of it. he had wanted to make all those memories disappear so that maybe wonho would finally be able to have a peaceful all night sleep without having night terrors. only that all that he knew wasn't the reason for the nightmares. wonho himself couldn't remember the real reason apparently. 

it is a common coping strategy. the human brain tends to erase the painful memories or the ones that had caused fear. wonho had lost a memory as well. the one that had brought hoseok to life. he could still hear wonho’s mother’s voice clearly…

 

“ wonho’s father and i… we didn’t get along well. he was a drug addict and had no proper job. he would disappear for days. sometimes we didn’t have any food and because we lived in another city than my parents, i couldn’t ask them to bring us any either. he was still an infant. he was hungry, crying until he got tired. i didn’t have any milk so i just played with him until he fell asleep. the times he was home though, we would be moving from one house or city to the other, running away from all of the people he owed money to. i had to cover the windows with thick blankets so that it wouldn’t show any shadows from the outside so that they would think no-one was home and wonho could play or watch tv freely. he wasn’t a loud kid though. somehow all the hushes and shut ups that he heard from him made my poor kid silent in his first couple of years of living. and then one day he put us both in his car and drove us to my parents’ house. he said i don’t want you two in my life anymore and left. i actually felt a bit relieved but little did i know that the maniac would lose his mind in a short time after that. wonho was, i think he was around 9? when one day i couldn’t find him when i went to pick him up from school. after searching everywhere, one of the mothers said she saw a man picking won up and that he had run to him with a bright smile on his face so no-one had suspected anything. that asshole kidnapped my kid. he wanted us back but i refused. he said he would do something that would leave me no choice but to go back to him. kidnapping wonho had been his solution. he didn’t let him go to school for the next week. he just called and let me talk to him to show he was okay. wonho was happy during that week. the asshole had been treating him really good, like never before and my baby was over the moon from all the affection he was receiving for the first time from his father. after a week, he got tired of waiting. he called me and threatened to kill both him and wonho if i didn’t go back. i didn’t understand, he didn’t even like me but wonho’s life was in danger so i went to the place he told me to with my father. it was a half-built building way outside the city, in the middle of nowhere. wonho was in the car. i didn’t notice him there first but then when a dog started barking next to it, i saw wonho inside. trembling and crying in fear. my father made the dog escape and i tried to get won out but it was locked. he was crying so loudly, saying he was scared and to please let him out. the asshole had left him there alone for hours. after a few minutes of struggling to open it, but to no avail, i screamed for him to come out already. i knew he was nearby, watching and enjoying it all. he was crazy. he enjoyed watching other people suffer. he walked to us like he had done nothing wrong with a smile on his face, opening the door and hugging wonho in his arms tightly. when wonho stopped crying he put him down and took his little hands in his giant ugly ones. i called won to come to me and he wanted to but the maniac tightened his hand and made won hiss in pain. i can still see his tiny little face looking up at his father with his scared eyes while having his hand crushed in the grip. anyway…. he told us to talk inside the building. the talking as you can guess didn’t end well. we ended up fighting. my father and i were beating him and he wasn’t exactly holding back either. wonho was trembling in the corner, watching us and crying to himself silently. he ran into the only room that had a door and locked it behind him. it took us a while to notice the steam that was coming out from the cracks during all the fighting. the alladin had caused a fire in the room won was in. we tried to open the door but it was locked. his father broke it down and we found wonho curling up in the far corner staring at the flames. he went inside and hugged wonho but as soon as they were out of the room, wonho bit him hard. he let go of wonho and as soon as he was on the ground, he started running. we were on the third floor. my baby was so out of it and scared of all of us that he didn’t see the stairs and fell down….. when he woke up the next day, he was completely different. he didn’t talk, he didn’t show any reaction to his name or anything anyone said, he would just keep his distance from us. he would just draw and play around alone. after a while we took him to a doctor and after months of weekly visits, he explained to me that wonho wasn’t being himself anymore. that was when i first found out about it. but he didn’t have any name back then. changkun said he’s calling himself hoseok now?… well, hoseok hated me, a lot. he also hated my father. he didn’t say anything but we knew from the way he looked at us like he wished to just murder us in sleep. and one day, all of a sudden wonho was back. i don’t know what made him come back but he did and i thought he was okay and that the doctor had been wrong all along and it was all a shock but… seems like i was wrong. i was just happy that he didn’t seem to remember anything about what had happened.” 

 

 

hyungwon felt the tears that ran down on his cheeks again. every time he remembered those words he would start crying without any control over it. the need to just run up those stairs and hug wonho, although he was not being wonho at the moment, was strong. but he held back. he was still not even remotely close to hoseok. they had talked a couple of sentences here and there but they still ignored and avoided each other for the most part.

“ why are you crying? “ he heard a voice say as two skinny legs appeared in front of his blurry visions. it was dark and he had been hiding in the corner of the yard lili used to hide back when she was here. he couldn't believe someone would find him here.

looking up, he met the long-haired boy’s eyes.

“ jeonghan, what are you doing here? you should be asleep. “ hyungwon said while raising his hand to wipe the tears. jeonghan crouched down and grabbed his wrist in one hand and wiped his tears, rubbing his thumb on his cheeks gently, with the other. hyungwon was taken aback. he looked at the long-haired beauty in front of him who was talking to him for the first time ever after all those weeks and wiping his tears?!

“ you shouldn’t be crying alone. “ jeonghan said in that emotionless voice of his. that was the thing about this boy. he never showed any emotion in his voice or on his face as if he was a black hole in the form of a human body. hyungwon had read his file, jeonghan has had his fair share of shitty life as well. almost too harsh for a fragile soft looking boy like him.

 

“ who should i be crying with then? “ he sniffled. “ it’s okay. let’s get you back inside. it’s chilly here and you’re not wearing anything. “ it was true. the boy was just covered in a thin light purple robe.

before he could stand up from his position, his leg was pushed down and jeonghan’s head landed on his lap, looking up into the sky.

hyungwon’s eyes became wide once again at the action. what was all of this attention suddenly about?!

seeing he had no other option, he relaxed and leaned back against the stoned wall again, looking at the boy that was reflecting the few stars of the night in his eyes.

“ do you think the stars are really what people say they are? that anyone who dies becomes a star so the ones on earth can always look up and see them? “ his voice was no more than a quiet whisper and his fingers were intertwined together, resting on his flat stomach.

hyungwon looked up to the sky as well. there weren’t many stars there and he was kinda sure the ones that were showing were actually satellites.

“ i don’t know but i think it’s a beautiful thing to believe in. that way you can always have them by your side and remember them whenever you look up.” he felt jeonghan’s head move as the boy tore his eyes away from the unlimited black and looked at him instead. hyungwon followed suit and their eyes met.

“ do you remember anyone when you look up, hyungwon? “ he almost looked like a kid, with how innocent he looked under the moon light. looking at him and waiting for his answer as if he knew all the answers in the world.

hyungwon hummed and smiled. there was a strand of hair that was blocking a bit of the beautiful boy’s eye that he brushed away from his face with his own long finger. “ i remember my sister.” he looked back up. a star was blinking repeatedly. “ although i’m not even sure if she’s up there or not.” 

“ i think she is. “ hyungwon caught the boy’s gaze again.

“ why do you think that? “ he asked carefully. 

“ the room i’m staying at, hoseoki said it used to be your sister’s. i asked him where she is now and he said she disappeared. i think she disappeared to up there, finally finding the peace we all deserve and don’t have down here.” he pointed at the sky and his eyes lit up and hyungwon could swear he saw a smile before it vanished a second later like it had never been there.

“ i just hope that she’s having that peace, wherever she is.” he exhaled, looking at the boy who didn’t seem to want to rip his eyes away from the nature’s ceiling. they sat there for a long time. jeonghan looking up and him looking at the boy who had his head on his lap. there was something calm about him like this, unlike the unleashed devil he was during the day.

 


	78. Seventy Eight

hyungwon was sitting in the dining room, playing with his food and watching Dr.Eli interacting with a patient on the table across the room. a sudden noise made him jump as someone sat next to him and basically threw their food tray on the table. bringing his hand to his heart due to the shock unconsciously, he looked to the side to see who the sudden visitor was. it was none other than hoseok. the source of his misery. all of their misery actually.

with the appearance of hoseok, so many things had changed. at first, the six of them would gather repeatedly, always in one of their houses but after the first month, when nothing any of the doctors did or said changed anything or made hoseok give them the info they needed to know, they all kind of… gave up.

they would all message hyungwon daily to know if there had been any progress, but they hadn’t visited in maybe two weeks,,, or more. they all kind of drowned themselves in their works, wanting to avoid the fact that their friend wasn’t with them anymore.

hyungwon couldn’t blame them for not being there, though. he himself wanted to just run to a faraway place or strangle hoseok enough to make him leave. preferably the second one. the only ones that had visited every second day were changkyun and jooheon. changkyun hated hoseok even more than hyungwon and hyungwon had been the one who had to witness all the filth hoseok did. jooheon, on the other hand, had become quite friendly with the stranger. hoseok would sit with him and even joke around with him and listen to him talk about the song he had composed or the dramas that were going on in the company. at those times, hoseok would sit and listen to him for hours like a kid who had been thirsty of his father’s attention and was finally getting it, euphoric and with heart-shaped eyes, nodding to every word and laughing loud at every joke jooheon managed to come up with.

hyungwon couldn’t do it. he didn’t know why but he just couldn’t get close to hoseok. it was like the latter had built this wall that pushed him away every time he wanted to get just a bit close to him. if hyungwon would sit next to him in the yard, hoseok would reply his greeting with a smile and a nod and the next second he would stand up and walk away. hyungwon felt helpless. utterly, completely helpless.

surprisingly, minhyuk had been the one to call him on a daily basis and ask him about how he was doing. the ceo had been on a business trip for over two weeks now, traveling from country to country, to a chain of conferences, promoting their new software that was getting quite a lot of attention. minhyuk was sweet. he was the epitome of sweetness but there had always been this distance between them, the one the ex and the new partner would always have and hyungwon had always felt that space was there because he himself had put it there. but now, it seemed like he couldn’t feel more comfortable with anyone other than minhyuk. not even shownu and not even yongguk who he had wanted to call a countless amount of times but didn’t.

kihyun had been mostly MIA, after the day they had got hoseok to the hospital that is. minhyuk had mocked him about what hoseok said, having two crushes from both genders, wanting to brighten the mood but kihyun had frowned and left without a word. he hadn’t talked much in their group chat, nor had he paid a visit. only asking hyungwon if wonho was back in their private conversation. hyungwon’s answer had always been short: no.

 

to say that he missed wonho was an understatement. he missed him with every cell, no, every atom of his body. you’d think just because the looks were the same, one would get the same vibe but no, hoseok and wonho were different in every little detail. even the sound of their chuckles, the way they walked, or the way they held the chopstick was different. wonho would open his mouth as wide as he could and raised his eyebrows if he was shocked or surprised. hoseok only listens until the end of the sentence in silence and tilts his head, instead. wonho would run to the person who needs help or would react fast if he saw someone falling, whereas hoseok only stands still and watches others handle the situation. the only exception had been jeonghan. he would only react properly when it came to the long-haired boy. which was why hyungwon was shocked when he saw him sitting next to him, instead of the younger boy who was sitting on another table, alone.

“ he’s very handsome, isn’t he? “ hoseok said with a nasty grin on his face as he fixed his chair and took a bite of his sandwich.

hyungwon’s eyes were still wide and his heartbeat was fast due to the sudden ‘bang’ the tray had made.

“ who? “ he asked almost automatically while staring at the other.

“ Eli “ hoseok pointed at dr. kim with his spoon after looking at the guy for a second before lowering his head to take another bite.

hyungwon let his hand fall on the table as he took the spoon in his right hand, resuming the playing with his food and not eating again.

“ he’s fine. “ he shrugged.

“ he’s married. so you better not be developing weird feelings toward a straight married man. “ hoseok said while munching and staring at him with his tilted head.

hyungwon stopped his hand’s movement and looked back at him in shock with his mouth slightly open.

“ what the fuck are you even talking about?! “

“ oh shut up! you were staring at his ass for 10 minutes straight. “ hoseok chuckled after saying that and took a huge bite which resulted in him coughing to death, trying to down it with something but the water was out of his reach and he was kind of in the middle of dying.

hyungwon considered to watch him suffer for a bit longer but rolled his eyes and gave the glass of water to him instead, patting his back to help him with the coughing. “ i was spacing out you idiot. i didn’t even realize who i was looking at. i’m in love with wonho and besides, i’m a bottom so even if i had stared at his ass consciously, that wouldn’t mean anything.”

wow, that must have been the longest sentence he had ever said to the still-coughing man who now had tears at the corners of his eyes. hoseok didn’t say anything while taking a tissue and cleaning the mess he had caused thoroughly.

hyungwon noticed jeonghan from the corner of his eye. the young man had worry written all over his face at the near-chocking to death incident. he had jumped up when it happened but had sat back down again and had only been looking at hoseok instead. it seemed as if he had been told not to come to them.

“ why are you here and not with jeonghan, hoseok? “

the latter threw the tissues in the small trash can next to the table and smiled at him. a smile that didn’t look teasing for the first time. one that almost reminded hyungwon of the way wonho smiled.

“ that was the first time you said my name like that! “

“ ‘like that’ ? “ he was confused. what did ‘like that’ mean?!

“ yeah! like you didn’t wanna kill me.” he smiled again and looked to his back at jeonghan who lowered his head the moment he saw hoseok turning around.

hoseok didn’t answer his question, he only stared at the younger boy for a couple of seconds before turning around again and resuming his meal. hyungwon sighed and did the same, taking the first spoon full of soup into his mouth. wonho would have killed him if he was here seeing the way he hadn’t eaten anything nearly enough for days now. ‘ if you wait until you’re hungry, you’ll end up dead cuz you never feel hunger. ‘ he had heard it many times. the memory made a smile appear on his face that seemed to catch hoseok’s attention.

“ do you miss him? “

“ to death. “ he didn’t even hesitate to reply. hyungwon felt the tears that started gathering in his eyes as he bit down on his lip hard enough to taste the iron on his tongue.

they fell into silence for minutes. it felt like ages with how stretched the sound of the big clock ticking filled the now mostly-empty dining room.

“ where is he now?…. wonho… is he like, aware of the things that are happening?” he finally managed to put the question he had for the past two months into words. he was scared of the answer but he had to know. now that they were sitting next to each other, actually conversing, would be the best opportunity to ask.

“ no. he’s not aware.” hoseok answered and paused. for the first time, hyungwon saw a sign of desperation on the other’s face. hoseok’s eyes became extremely sad as he tried to hide his face by turning his head to the other side where hyungwon couldn’t see. “ he’s kind of… asleep. unconscious. he won’t remember any of it when he’s back. “

“ will he?” hoseok turned around to face him again at his question.

“ hm? “ his face was rather emotionless. no sign of the mischievousness present.

“ will he be back? “ he felt his bottom lip trembling as he desperately hoped for the answer to be positive. a very sad smile appeared on the other man’s face as he stared right into his soul.

“ as much as i want to believe i’m real and that i deserve to live freely, i’m not. it’s really cruel but i have dealt with it after the many times it had been reminded to me. i can’t stick around forever, hyungwon. i’m only…. temporary.”

hyungwon couldn’t find any words. the other man had left after saying that and he had been sitting there for the past 20 minutes, recalling every word in his head. he had ignored the pain hoseok must have been through. after all, it wasn’t easy to know you’re a replacement. it wasn’t easy to bear all the hatred that hoseok received from them either. maybe, just maybe, beyond all of that aggressive shell, there was a soft heart. hyungwon decided to find out. maybe they could really become friends like himchan had said.


	79. Seventy Nine

“ it’s not fair. you said you’d come with us. “ hyungwon whined and tried to make wonho stand up from his chair.

 

“ wonnie, i have to finish this baby. i’m sorry, okay? i’ll promise i’ll make it up to you.” wonho took hyungwon’s hand that was pulling on his shirt and kissed the back of it before going back to his work.

 

“ what’s the name of the song you’re working on? “ he asked after slapping wonho’s bicep.

 

“ hmmm, not sure yet but i’m thinking ‘goodbye’ ? “ the latter replied without looking up from his screen. “ why do you ask? “ he asked after a moment, clicking through the many bars in the software.

 

“ so that i will hate it when it gets released? you deserve it for ditching us last minute like this. “ hyungwon was upset. really upset. they all had set their schedules such that they would be free on that day but here wonho was, canceling again. it wasn’t his first time.

wonho laughed but stopped himself a second after, biting down on his lower lip that he sucked into his mouth to just control the laughter. hyungwon was cute even if he was trying to appear angry, which was the exact thing the younger was going for at the moment, but no matter what he did, it was always super cute with how his lips got super pouty and his eyebrows raised more than usual.

the singer got out of his chair and hugged hyungwon for a couple of seconds before letting go, cupping his face and pressing a gentle kiss on the delicious plump lips.

“ is my pinkwonnie angry? “ he caressed hyungwon’s soft cheek and chuckled to himself. hyungwon was frowning. “ baby, i swear i really wanna go too but they told me to make a song for the drama that’s going to air in 12 days a week ago. i have to finish it by tomorrow. “ he pecked hyungwon’s lips again. still, hyungwon didn’t react to any of the touches.

 

“ why is your company always throwing things at you the last minute? can’t they just,, i don’t know,, be a little punctual? “ he sighed and set himself free from wonho by taking his hands away from his face.

“ whatever, i’m gonna be late. have fun working. “ without any sign of a small smile or anything that showed hyungwon had at least forgiven him a tiny bit or understood the situation, he left. wonho looked at the now closed door of the studio and felt his heart ache but there was nothing he could do. he had a deadline and the melody was floating in his head and he needed to finish the song as fast as possible so that it would no longer repeat itself in his ears. even if he had time, he probably would stay behind to finish it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“ why are you alone? did he ditch us again? “ changkyun asked as soon as he arrived at the place they had agreed to meet.

“ well, is there any other reason why i’m here and he’s not? “ hyungwon was still upset. he was upset that wonho had to work without sleep for the past week and had barely gone home when the company could tell him to make a song way sooner or just use one of the many brilliant songs he had in his hard drive that had never been released.

“ don’t worry. you’ll start getting used to it in like two years or so.” minhyuk patted his back strongly and laughed in a mocking way.

 

 

they got into the mini-van that shownu had rented and hyungwon offered to be the driver to at least let his mind focus on something other than his boyfriend, mainly not hitting any animals that decided to randomly jump in front of the cars on the countryside.

the weekend turned out to be actually pretty fun. they met kihyun’s cousins and spent their whole day outdoors, playing soccer and volleyball and other games under the sun, resulting them all to have a perfect tan. no-one mentioned wonho like it was some kind of a taboo and the singer never called. he’d just sent a ‘good morning’ in which hyungwon replied to with the same two words. he just didn’t wanna think about wonho, cuz thinking about him would result in him noticing that he wasn’t there while they were all having fun and laughing their asses off, meanwhile wonho was at his studio, working. something told him that wonho could even have orgasms from working on songs and him being absent didn’t mean that the guy was being tortured, that he was maybe even having more fun than them with how much in love with the whole producing process he was, but the guilt for being the only ones in the fresh air didn’t leave him be. that’s why he tried to not think about him as much as possible.

no matter how much he forced himself to avoid the image and the desire to have his lover by his side the whole day, when they got back to the house and lied down in the darkness of the room to sleep, his mind flew right back to their apartment. he thought about how good it’d be if wonho was there right now, holding him in his muscular arms, pressing his head to his chest and placing endless kisses on his forehead. giving up on his ‘ ignoring ‘ game, he reached for his phone and unlocked it and was about to call wonho when his phone got snatched out of his hand.

“ hey! “ hyungwon almost cursed but stopped himself. minhyuk, who was the intruder, locked his phone again and lied down next to him on his stomach, holding himself up on his elbows and looking at him.

“ don’t give in that easily. don’t repeat my mistakes. you’re gonna have to demand time and attention from him or else he’ll never know. i told you before as well, you have to put everything you expect from him into words cuz he’s really bad at assuming. “

“ how am i supposed to do that when you take my phone away? “ hyungwon turned to his side, facing minhyuk completely.

“ it’s not a good time to call now. he’s been working all day and is tired and cranky as hell. you never wanna push a tired, sleepless, stressed, on a deadline wonho. trust me! “ hyungwon had seen a tiny bit of what minhyuk described before but not to the extent the man next to him must have been talking about. he sometimes got quite curious about the side of wonho everyone seemed to have seen, the sassy, asshole, short-tempered side. he had never seen it. wonho had always found a way to make himself cool down right before things could get messy around hyungwon. sometimes he didn’t know how to feel about it. it could either mean that he was loved so much that his boyfriend couldn’t get mad at him the way he did at others sometimes or that wonho simply wasn’t comfortable enough around him to show all of himself to him.

he was drowned in his thoughts when he felt an arm around his neck as minhyuk hugged him closely and nuzzled his head in the crook of his neck.

“ let’s just sleep now. you can talk to him when we get back. “

hyungwon smiled and circled his arm around minhyuk’s waist, pressing him closer.

“ isn’t joo gonna get sulky if you leave him alone like this?”

“ honey has a koala changkyun attached to him right now. there’s no way in separating those two when they’re together.”

“ i just really wanna see the look on showki’s faces right now. two straight awkward men having to sleep next to each other on a double bed.” hyungwon said and chuckled at the thought alone. minhyuk laughed rather loud before pressing his mouth in hyungwon’s neck further to make himself stop.

“ oh my god, i don’t even wanna imagine being in that room right now! i bet the air could be cut by a knife. they won’t be able to sleep. “ they laughed some more silently before finally closing their eyes and falling asleep.

in the other room though, the two mentioned men were sleeping soundly, sharing a blanket and not minding the other’s presence at all.

 

 

 

 

 

Three months, two weeks and… 19 hours.

hyungwon let his hand fall on the silky mattress of his bed. their bed. he had been wearing wonho’s favorite watch for a while now, counting every minute. these days, he usually found himself recalling every little memory, every tiny moment they had spent together. and whether sad or happy, he cherished it all. because there was a slight chance he would never experience any of it again.

looking at the watch, he knew he had to get ready to go to the hospital. Eli had specifically told him to be there today since they had another session with hoseok.

speaking of, they had become a bit friendly. not friends, but not strangers/enemies they used to be. they could hang around each other and talk like civilized human beings now.

 

he forced himself to get out of the bed and put on his clothes. right before he was about to exit, he remembered that jongup had told him to make hoseok take a selfie so that they could upload it on wonho’s social media, to tell the fans that he was doing okay. it was ridiculous but won’s fans were going absolutely insane from worry and it was the least they could do.

hyungwon took his shoes off and walked back to their bedroom, grabbing the phone that had been turned off and on the nightstand, pushing it into his jean’s pocket.

when they had found out about hoseok, they had taken the phone from him. the latter didn’t seem to be interested in modern technology one bit anyway. in fact, he was like a grandpa time traveling from a century ago sometimes. he didn’t know the most basic stuff about so many things. he just knew how to be a rascal as it appeared.

 

 

 

 

 

wonho was dead asleep when hyungwon entered the bedroom. the older must have been really tired cuz even though he accidentally hit his foot on the chair and stumped, the other didn’t move at all. hyungwon decided to take a shower before sleeping as well, cuz if wonho found him laying in bed with a body that had been spending time in the woods, sweaty and all, he knew he would get scolded.

washing himself first, cuz he liked it this way better, he filled the tub. it had been nearly three days of constant hiking, running and playing and his body was quite sore. sitting in the tub, he went underwater and closed his eyes. it was something he really enjoyed doing, made his head clear a bit and that was what he needed. like minhyuk said, he had to talk to wonho. it was not healthy to work like that at this point anymore.

as soon as he went back up, steps echoed in the bathroom. before he could turn around, he was pushed forward gently as his boyfriend slid behind him in the tub and pushed him back to his chest and hugged him as tight as possible.

wonho nuzzled his head in hyungwon’s hair at his nape and inhaled his scent as he hummed in pleasure.

“ i missed you so much. i thought i was going crazy.” the older whispered as he circled his arms around hyungwon tighter.

“ you are crazy if you come into the tub with your clothes on. what the hell? “ he was dying to hug back. to turn around and kiss his lover but he had to be strong. he had to stand his ground this time. for both of their sakes. right now, he was basking in the feeling of wonho’s wet clothed chest pressing to his naked back and the arms that were caressing his like feather.

“ i didn’t have the energy for that. “ even his voice was tired, hyungwon could barely hear him.

“ besides, i couldn’t waste time on undressing when i knew you were home. “ he felt hot lips pressing against the skin of his neck for several seconds. his whole body covered in goosebumps as he tried really hard to keep his hands from touching wonho.

“ is the song at least worth it? “ he cursed himself in his head. he was supposed to be angry at the older, not ask if the song he had been dumped for was any good. but it was too late now and he was kind of dying to hear it.

“ hmmm, you’re gonna love it. i changed it a bit so that it fits the kind of vibe you enjoy. “ the lips didn’t leave his neck. wonho kept pressing closed-mouth pecks on his skin, continuing the firework in his heart.

“ i said i’d hate the song, remember? changing it into my taste won’t change anything. “ he leaned back on wonho’s chest a bit to get more comfortable and let his head rest on wonho’s shoulder as his hands gave in and he took wonho’s in his, playing with the older’s fingers.

“ you said you’ll hate it once it gets released. it’s not released yet. and they have actually pushed the date of the drama back a couple of weeks so you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy it before hating it.”

hyungwon had never turned around that fast in a tub before in his entire life. his anger went from 0 to 100 in a millisecond. the sudden move, made the older shocked as his eyes widened in surprise but didn’t move at all as he really didn’t have that much energy to move muscles.

“ WHAT?” hyungwon yelled. “ first they make you produce a song with a deadline, keeping you from proper sleep, and then they push back the date? what the fuck is wrong with them? i hate your company! “ he was furious. he was actually this close to run all the way to the company, preferably after putting some clothes on and burn the whole damn place to the ground.

“ it wasn’t the company’s fault. the drama is for a station that had to postpone it due to some incidents. the main actor had an accident or something. and they only offered me the contract. i could reject it. they didn’t force me. the company is not that bad really. “ wonho said as he caressed the younger’s arm up and down. when he was finished, he turned hyungwon’s body into the previous position again, having to use a bit of force cuz the latter’s body was stiff due to the current anger.

“ so you accepted it knowing that you’d have to ditch us. perfect. “ he crossed his arms and let his whole weight rest on wonho’s chest as he looked to the side, biting on his cheek. strong arms circled around him again as he felt a kiss on the top of his hair.

“ i thought i’d finish it by then. it was my own fault for being lazy and not working fast enough. i’m sorry i couldn’t come. “

“ lazy?! “ hyungwon didn’t turn his body around this time and just tilted his head a bit to be able to see wonho’s face behind himself.

“ wonho you didn’t sleep for like three days straight at first, wanting to come up with the perfect melody after reading the whole damn script! you may be a number of things but lazy is not one of them! “ his voice was louder than usual. he wanted to kick wonho in the gut for calling himself lazy when he was there, with little to no energy, literally on the edge of falling asleep any second.

“ can you scold me later? i just wanna stay like this with you for now. “ wonho tightened his arms again and sunk a bit lower in the tub. hyungwon’s head was on the same level as the older’s and he felt the latter’s face, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. the familiar lips pressed on his skin and stayed there. not even a couple minutes later the arms loosened as the older’s breathing pattern became slower. he had fallen asleep in the tub with hyungwon in his arms just like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

it was hell. seeing hoseok as soon as he step foot in the hospital after remembering very vividly how their bodies felt against each other in the tub hurt. before, when he hated hoseok, it was easier. now that he was looking at things from his perspective a bit though, it was not. he couldn’t even wish for hoseok’s disappearance anymore since the latter, despite being created by wonho, was a person as well.

hoseok was leaning on the wall, talking with jooheon. no, actually he was listening to jooheon talk. like always. hyungwon was surprised to see jooheon alone but as soon as he got closer to them, he saw the younger sitting at the small table by the window, playing monopoly with… jeonghan!

everything was confusing these days. he couldn’t get his brain to work. for someone who had finished his Ph.D. and had started working as a doctor at the age other people usually enter the university, he felt quite dumb. he didn’t know what was going on. he had seen kihyun exiting his restaurant with his assistant, who was actually prettier than the photos he had seen on instagram. kihyun had avoided them for ages now, such that minhyuk threatened to kill him when he got back which seemed to be in a far away future, cuz he had been assigned to work with an american facility for like 6months or something. he had seen shownu waiting outside of the hospital once, thinking he was there to see him or hoseok, but no! he was there to pick up ji-eun. they had met on tinder apparently. which was weird as fuck cuz none of them seemed like a tinder kind of person. and now, he was seeing changkyun playing happily with jeonghan when they all kind of knew changkyun was all ‘ science comes first. romance is a waste of time and not logical. ‘ type of guy.

shaking his head to get rid of the thought, cuz come on hyungwon! since when is playing monopoly something romantic that indicates two people being attracted to each other?! since monopoly is the BEST BOARD GAME EVER! he literally facepalmed as he cursed his brain for the bullshit it was coming up with.

walking the rest of the way to hoseok and joo, he lifted his hand as he was not in the mood of talking words.

“ hyungwon! “ hoseok’s face lit up upon seeing him with a giant smile that looked exactly like wonho’s. hyungwon stopped and froze on his spot. for a second, he was thinking what if this is wonho? what if he is finally back? but the moment didn’t last long as he found himself bent in half, his head locked between wonho’s arm and the latter’s body. it was something he loved doing. tapping hoseok’s thigh in surrender cuz he wasn’t able to breathe from the pressure on his throat, the older laughed like the devil himself and let him go. frowning, he took the phone out and stretched his hand toward the literal 2-year-old that was still laughing his ass off.

“ why? “ hoseok asked in between, tilting his head in question a bit.

“ why what? “ hyungwon asked a bit annoyed cuz his neck felt like it had been broken.

“ why are you giving me wonho’s phone? “ the laughter finally stopped as hoseok circled his arm around jooheon’s waist who was just watching them unbothered.

“ you have to take a selfie so that we can upload it on wonho’s social media. “

“ why? “the question didn’t seem to be teasing. hoseok was actually curious.

“ because hoseok! wonho’s fans are used to him update selfies or other stuff every day and he’s been MIA for months now. “ hyungwon huffed and took his hand back cuz it was getting tired of hanging in the air. hoseok hummed.

“ but i’m not wonho! “ his voice was a bit lower than a second ago and he kept the eye contact with hyungwon firmly.

“ yes, you’re not but you both share the same face so could you please take one photo? “ hoseok kept staring at him and he could swear he saw a sparkle in his eyes. the happy face from before disappeared as hoseok held out his hand.

“ alright then. give me the phone. “ hyungwon did so but hoseok just kept turning the device around and staring at it like a fool.

“ what are you doing?! “ jooheon asked chuckling.

“ i don’t know how to work with a phone! “ he said with raised eyebrows.

“ what the fuck?! you’re almost 30. how can you not know how to use a phone?! “ hyungwon pursed his lips and took the phone back, unlocking it and opening the camera, before handing it back to hoseok.

“ last time, and the ‘only’ time i was out i was like 9. there was no smartphones back then. “ he looked at his own image curiously, changing the angle several times and giggling like a kid.

“ just press that circle on the bottom and it’ll snap the photo. “ jooheon explained to him and patted his back in a friendly way.

a few seconds later the photo was taken. hoseok stepped closer to hyungwon, grabbed his hand and put the phone in his hand, smiling. he didn’t take his hand away and just kept hyungwon’s between his own two palms. they spent quite a number of seconds staring at each other before hyungwon finally snapped out of it.

“ didn’t you say you observed wonho’s life? how come you didn’t learn these stuff while observing? “ he didn’t try to take his hand away. it felt nice. he didn’t know why. he knew it wasn’t wonho touching him but the hands felt so familiar that he wanted to just bring them to his lips and shower them with endless kisses.

“ i didn’t observe everything! it would be really tiresome!! “ hoseok let go of his hand and took a step back. “ i was aware of the stuff happening in his life when he was in pain. and that’s only because he kept calling for me unconsciously at those moments. i can’t stand awake all the time. it’s depressing to watch without being able to participate! “ he shrugged and started chewing on his gum again.

right when hyungwon was trying to come up with something to break the heavy atmosphere, cuz he kind of-not kind of but surely- was feeling bad for hoseok, they heard a scream from the side of the hall where he had seen changkyun and jeonghan before.

hoseok was the first one to run to them. this kind of screaming was for when jeonghan was having an episode. jooheon and hyungwon followed next. the older hugged jeonghan strongly to keep him from thrashing around and hurting himself till the nurses would arrive. he kept whispering in the boy’s ear who was just shouting and crying, trying to break free nonstop. kai arrived not long after along with two more nurses but they just stood there watching them.

“ why are you not injecting him?! “ hyungwon yelled at them. jeonghan was not stable at the moment and he could hurt himself or others unintentionally.

“ wait for it. “ kai replied without looking away from hoseok and the boy in his arms. hyungwon looked at them as well to see what kai was talking about. as a former doctor, he knew if this went on for a bit longer, it would be really bad for jeonghan’s body cuz the amount of pain, emotional pain, while having an episode was destructive.

to his surprise, a couple of minutes later, the boy started calming down a bit. jeonghan wrapped his arms around hoseok tightly and cried in fear instead this time. the latter started caressing his long hair as gentle as possible while still whispering things none of them could hear but the boy who was calming down by the second in his arms.

this was the first time hyungwon had seen this. he was never around when jeonghan would have this bad of an attack before and he wondered if this is how it goes every time. it must have been since kai and others knew hoseok would be able to calm the boy by now.

as soon as the crying turned into silent whimpers and sniffing, kai walked to them.

“ let’s get jeonghan to his room, okay? “ hoseok nodded and helped the boy to his room. when they disappeared from their sight, hyungwon turned to changkyun who was still looking terrified as hell. he looked like he had just witnessed someone being murdered.

“ it’s okay now. he’s gonna be fine. “ he said softly, putting his hand on the younger’s shoulder.

changkyun looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

“ what happened? did i do this? why did he panic like that? oh my god, what did i do hyung? “ the younger grabbed his wrist and he looked like he would burst into tears any second now.

hyungwon kneed down in front of him and cupped his face with his other palm.

“ would you tell me what happened right before he panicked? “ his eyes didn’t lose the tiny tear that ran down changkyun’s eye.

“ he… i won and-“ he sniffed “ i wanted to tease him, to cheer him up a bit, i pointed at him and laughed and then he froze and-…. and then he covered his ears and… “ he paused looking down as his fingers tightened around hyungwon’s wrist. “ you were here for the rest of it…… i triggered him, didn’t i? i’m such an asshole.” he let go of hyungwon and buried his face in his own palms, growling in frustration.

“ hey, it wasn’t your fault baby. he is sensitive to people’s reactions. “ hyungwon patted the younger’s hair several times till jooheon came to them and hugged changkyun tightly.

 

hyungwon stood back up and approached kai who was standing there silently.

“ had this happened before? “ he whisper-asked

“ yeah. hoseok is a cure for jeonghan, i tell you that! he can always calm him down. i don’t know how he does it but i’m very thankful. “ hyungwon bit on the inside of his lip, looking at the stairs that the duo had walked up a few minutes ago. kai must have felt his uneasiness as he put his hand on his shoulder in reassurance.

“ hey, wonho will come back. hoseok may be around jeonghan now but when wonho’s back, there will be the two of you again. “

“ yeah… but, … what will happen to jeonghan?…” he heard himself saying. doctoral side or whatever it was, he couldn’t think of jeonghan losing the only person that could manage to stabilize him. he couldn’t be that selfish. and if what hoseok said was true, if wonho had been so in pain that he had called hoseok out and was now unconscious peacefully, who was hyungwon to want him back to a life that was clearly full of sorrow for the older? he couldn’t help but feel like a failure. he had failed at being a comfort zone for wonho like hoseok was to jeonghan. sure, he had done the exact same thing a number of times when his lover had experienced attacks but they had been useless obviously, only calming him momentarily. maybe it was best to let things go… maybe, just maybe hoseok being around, was a better choice for both wonho and jeonghan. he could deal with loneliness. he had lived with that for years already before wonho came along.

 

his phone buzzed and it was jongup asking if he had taken the photo. he hesitated. what was the point of giving hope to the fans if wonho was not coming back anymore? he decided to just not think and do whatever he was told so he uploaded it with the caption the manager had sent him.

 

 

**WonHo**

****

 i'm fine wonbebe. don't worry ♡

 

 

 

 

hyungwon put his headphones on and played the song he was supposed to hate. he couldn't hate it. not when it was wonho who had made it and not when it matched the situation so well...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi~  
> i literally died writing this chapter. idk what's wrong with me but as soon as i sit to write, i lose focus. anyways, i hope you enjoyed it.  
> p.s.: the song i mentioned is goobye by jonghyun


	80. Eighty

“ hi hoseok. how’s your day been? “ eli smiled as soon as the latter walked in.

“ same as always. kai is mean! “ he pouted and jumped on the sofa, crossing his legs on it.

eli laughed out loud. “ that’s because you’re a literal brat! you gave that man a dead rat saying it was an old plushie. where did you even get a dead rat from?! “ the doctor was saying it with such amusement that for a second hyungwon, who was sitting on the chair in the far away corner of the room by the window, thought he enjoyed all the trouble hoseok made. actually, hyungwon was sure that eli had grown a liking in hoseok. he was always laughing like a fool whenever the nurses told him about the mess the latter had made. he could bet eli was the only person who found them funny. well him and hoseok’s partner in crime aka jeonghan!

“ the yard! but still, kai didn’t have to lock me in the room for a whole 5 hours. i was starved. “

“ no one dies from 5 hours of not eating! “ hyungwon snorted.

hoseok turned back to look at him. the chair was behind the sofa therefor he was sitting behind hoseok.

“ for someone who’s only skin and bones, maybe. “ he pointed at hyungwon, showing it was him he was talking about. “ for me, on the other hand, it’s actual torture. can’t believe that fool went days without food. “

hyungwon’s smile cut off from his face as he heard it. did someone starve wonho in the past?! why was there so much he didn’t know about? how could anyone do that to a person like wonho? he was a literal angel. is. he IS a literal angel, hyungwon. he had lost all hope in having his lover back that he was using past tense now. great.

 

“ i’ll buy you some snacks. hide them in your room so that the next time kai locks you in, you’ll have food. “ eli winked at him. “ by the way, who’s that fool? wonho? why did he starve?! was he too lazy to go get food or something?! “

hyungwon knew what eli was doing. he had done it so many times himself as well. acting all dumb and friendly just to get the info you wanted to know.

 

hoseok shook his head while pouting again. he looked like a kid like that. it was actually kind of cute.

“ nope. he was given a choice. to do what he was asked and go home or get locked in and starve until he agreed to do so. he chose the latter. went for days until neared death. they had to take him to the hospital and that’s why he got that stomach condition that he sells off as ‘ stomach flu ‘ and somehow everyone believes him. well, at least they actually let him go that time. “ he paused “ whoops, i didn’t mean to tell you that. “ he said with a devilish smirk that showed that he indeed had meant to say that.

 

“ ay, you’re not someone who just lets things slip out. why did you tell us if it’s supposed to be a secret? “ eli smirked back at him.

“ just to show that he’s not as much of a saint as hyungwon here might think. “ he turned around to look at hyungwon again.

“ he says he hates lying, right? but he actually lied to everyone about this. even to you! “ he sat properly again and shrugged. “ me on the other hand, i would never go through something like that in the first place. he is too soft for his own good. “

 

“ couldn’t you take over and do the task so that they would leave the both of you alone? “ eli asked, completely focused on hoseok.

“ well, … despite what you might think, and that’s because you haven’t met wonho, he is strong. like ReaLLy strong. i can’t come out until he is seriously damaged. at that time, he had his will on fighting against the system or something equally stupid. besides, i don’t know shit about what they wanted him to do. “

 

“ correct me if i’m wrong, but… you seem to adore wonho. i mean you always talk good about him whenever he comes up. well, if we put the insults aside that is.” the doctor chuckled.

“ he is an idiot but he is a good person. but! it’s sooooo much fun teasing him. he thought he was actually going mental when i started talking to him again. “ hoseok laughed out loud like he had genuinely enjoying torturing wonho like that. hyungwon could never forget how the poor soul had slid down the wall, crying helplessly, trying to get the voices to stop.

 

“ that was you?! all those voices telling him he was trash, were you!? what the fuck is wrong with you! why would you torture him like that? “ hyungwon found himself yelling at the guy who was just looking back at him with an expressionless face. and then he just shrugged and turned back to eli, like nothing had happened. hyungwon wanted to choke him to death. he couldn’t stand being in one room with him anymore so he just stormed off without saying anything.

 

 

it was after launch, almost everyone was taking naps so the yard was rather empty. hyungwon sat on the rock by the fountain they always used to sit with wonho. tears were rolling down his face nonstop. he had wiped the first few ones but then had given up as there was no point if they kept coming down. he watched how his own tears fell down on the grass, disappearing there.

he heard quiet steps before someone sat beside him. he knew the body scent by heart so he didn’t even look up. it was hoseok.

the latter handed him a canned coffee, which he accepted cuz his throat was really dry. but he didn’t look at him at all.

“ i didn’t do that to torture him. he was in pain. you have no idea how much he blamed himself for what happened to you. “ hoseok spoke slowly, so much unlike his usual tone.

“ he was in pain and then you decided to add to it by saying those things. noted. “ hyungwon spat and took a sip from his coffee.

“ no. you don’t understand. i wanted him to give in. to let me out so that i could take care of things. when i’m out, he doesn’t feel pain anymore. i had to do something in order to make him crack. talking to him had been the only thing i could think of. “ the voice kept getting quieter as the words continued.

hyungwon was surprised, no shocked from the motive behind all that. he turned his head and stared at hoseok with wide eyes. the latter smiled slightly, that smile looked… apologetic.

“ when i first came out, he was so young and so broken. he felt unloved. like someone who shouldn’t have been born at all. there were flames everywhere. and when that man came in, and rescued us, i couldn’t stand being around them. i hated them all for what they have done to wonho. so i just ran. i ran away until… well until i fell down and everything went black. i stayed for a while. making sure everyone knew that i absolutely hated them. i didn’t talk to any of the fuckers who dared to call themselves won’s ‘family’ “ hoseok said that word with such a poisonous tone that hyungwon could feel it deep within his heart.

“ and then after a while, he just… somehow found his way back and pushed me to the side. as soon as he was out, he started hurting again. i hate the way they looked at him, blamed him and called him out for being ‘that guy’s son’ when he did something that didn’t meet their expectations. so i started talking to him. i knew how he blamed himself for everything when it was absolutely not his fault at all so i just took advantage of it. i actually managed to come out for a few hours but he fought his way back again. that’s when i knew i can’t beat him. when… “ hoseok’s voice shook a bit and he cleared his throat. hyungwon was listening to him silently. the sound of water the only thing that broke the short silence.

“ when you got hurt, his whole soul got crushed. i couldn’t stand it. i hated you for being the cause of his suffering. i hated you even more than i hate minhyuk. i just wanted him to let me out. so i started talking to him again but he wasn’t that weak kid anymore so he didn’t let me out. and then i decided to up my game. i decided that i would need to make you believe he was actually crazy so that you would leave him and that would be the end of his suffering and also the ultimate breaking point where he would just crawl deep inside and let me handle it for him. but then…” hoseok who had been looking at the ground until now, turned to him and looked at him with such soft eyes that made hyungwon’s heart skip a beat.

“ then you ran to him, hugged him and didn’t stop saying caring words. i could hear them, everything you said and everything you did to make him calm down. i was so shocked that it made me shut up and let you be the one who fixed him. i… i started hating you less… “ there was that genuine smile again, the one that actually met hoseok’s eyes and wasn’t fake like most of the time.

“ you actually did a good job, for the most part, you kept him stable. everything was going perfectly until… they kidnapped him again. “ the older bit his lip hard enough to break the skin as he frowned.

“ they made him watch an innocent girl get torn into pieces. the image didn’t leave him. and he just, he just shut down his whole feelings. he didn’t feel anything, not even towards you! and then he did… that… i’m sorry you had to go through it. he wasn’t in his right mind at all. “

“ thank you. “ hyungwon smiled at him. “who’s …they hoseok? who did this to him and why? please tell me. “ he spoke as gentle as he could. for some reason, hoseok looked so breakable at that moment.

the latter made eye contact with him again and hesitated for a few seconds.

“ some people who learned to take advantage of his skills in computer stuff by threatening. that’s all i can tell you. he doesn’t want anyone to know. “ he paused “ anyway, i wanted to take over while he was asleep and at his weakest but also, was kind of curious if you could also make him calm then and how you would even react after what happened, so i just waited. i was sure you would just leave him or beat him or something but you .. you smiled at him and everything. i didn’t understand your behavior. no one had ever loved him that way. so… unconditionally. and then he went rogue. and then i took over. he would really lose himself if i hadn’t. i’m gonna be honest, i hated you at first. if you had just left him, he would be busy doing his music happily and not feeling all those guilt and hurt. i couldn’t even look at you or stand to be around you. “ hoseok inhaled deeply, straightening his back. he closed his eyes and smiled.

“ little by little, i got to know why wonho loved you so much. little by little..” hoseok tilted his head toward him “ i fell for you “

“ i got to understand how deep your feelings are for him. these months, i’ve tried every way, said every bad thing about him that i know to make you disgusted and go away but you stayed. despite the hell i put you through, you still stayed and never lost hope. “

hyungwon couldn’t even dare to breathe. he was so taken aback by the confession, all of it, that he was just sitting there, staring at the person who was so different from what he thought. none of them talked for minutes that felt like hours. until hoseok pulled his bratty self again and grabbed him by the shoulder. hyungwon was pulled up by the grip and before he could do anything, hoseok threw him right into the fountain. he struggled for some seconds, shocked and all from the coldness of the water and the fact that this asshole had the audacity to do this to him after such a heartfelt conversation. he threw a death gaze toward hoseok who was just standing there, laughing and pointing at him like there was no tomorrow. there were actual tears on the corners of his eyes from how hard he was laughing at hyongwon’s misery.

 

“ YOU FUCKING PUNK! “ hyungwon screamed at him and splashed water at his way. the water did hit the older but he just stuck his tongue at him like a freaking 2-year-old and started running away.

hyungwon got out of the fountain, freezing but determined to make hoseok pay for what he had done. he ran after him.

he caught him just as hoseok was about to close his room’s door and managed to overpower hoseok and get in. he started punching him and hoseok just laughed harder.

after a while, while hyungwon was still not satisfied with his revenge, his whole body started trembling, shaking from the coldness of his wet clothes. he stopped his beating and circled his arms around himself “ i hate you. if i catch a cold, you’re seriously dead. “

hoseok chuckled and picked his blanket from the bed. he walked to hyungwon and wrapped it around him hurriedly. “ let’s get you to your room so you can change your clothes before you die. your lips are turning purple. it’s not even that cold! tsk tsk “ he licked his tongue with a judging look.

“ shut up. you’re not the one with water dripping down their clothes. “ he wrapped it around himself tighter and started walking fast toward his own room.

 

 

“ are you gonna stare at me like that all the while i’m changing or something?! “ he said, raising his eyebrow at hoseok who was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking at him.

the other shrugged and looked down. “ you’re not even that hot! “

“ then that’s more reason for you to not look. “ he undressed completely and changed into new ones in the speed of the light. “ done. “

hoseok looked back up with a smirk on his face and a pillow came flying at hyungwon’s direction. “ i. am. cold. hoseok. don’t throw pillows at me. it hurts.”

he deadpanned and picked the pillow up, walking to hoseok and hitting him several times with it.

hoseok didn’t dodge at first but then he grabbed the pillow suddenly, pulled it toward him, pulling hyungwon along with it and turned such that hyungwon landed on the bed on his back and hoseok on top of him. that pillow the only thing between them.

it was like those cheesy teenager movies. they stayed in that position, looking at each other's eyes without even the sound of their breaths interrupting the moment. hyungwon didn’t know what was going on but he also didn’t push the other away. he just stayed and looked into hoseok’s eyes in search of something. anything that meant the other really had meant the things he said, that he had really cared.

hoseok looked back at him, with such a soft look that it almost reminded him of how wonho used to look at him. and then he started leaning in. he closed the distance between them slowly, getting closer to hyungwon’s face and staring at his lips.

just when he was about to press their lips together, hyungwon tilted his head. he might have liked hoseok now but he wasn’t the one he loved. and the way he liked the latter wasn’t in any way romantic.

hoseok giggled and let himself fall next to hyungwon on the bed, making them both bounce on it a bit.

“ from a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love him? “ the question was childish. how could he put what he felt for the singer in a mere 10? .. but then again, hoseok was more of a kid than a grown up.

“ 11 “ he answered simply.

“ that’s all i needed to know. “ hoseok said before he jumped off the bed and left the room, after blowing him a kiss and a wink right after. he didn’t understand what hoseok meant by ‘that’s all i needed to know’ but he just shrugged it off.

he crawled under his blanket and soon he fell asleep.

.

.

.

.

.

The rays of sunshine hit his face. groaning and pulling the blanket over his eyes, he decided to surrender and wake up. he sat up and opened his eyes… only to find himself in an unfamiliar place. where was he?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, this is in no way how the disorder actually works, so do not misunderstand.


	81. Eighty One

blinking a few times and trying to get his brain to work, he tried so hard to remember if he had drunk last night and ended up in this place somehow. did he drink with jackson and others last night?!

 

he looked around in search of his phone but couldn’t find it. he got out of bed, deciding it’s best to get out of the room to see where he was even.

 

as soon as he stood up the door to the room opened and hyungwon walked in.

“ wonnie “ he smiled wide, knowing that he wasn’t alone there.

“ what kind of a sick game are you playing with me this time, hoseok?! what is this note? what does ‘i’ll take care of everything’ mean? “ the latter had a deep frown on his face and his tone was really nothing like how he always talked to him. did he do something to upset him? and most importantly, who the fuck was hoseok?!

 

“ who’s hoseok?! “ he simply asked, looking at hyungwon with wide eyes in confusion.

hyungwon stood there and just stared at him for a couple of seconds before he narrowed his gaze.

“ so is that it? you’re gonna have to update your pranks. i’m not gonna fall for that again you ass. how many time have you done it already?! “ the latter crossed her arms on his chest and leaned on the wall, throwing him a very judgmental look. something felt off.

“ i…. really don’t know what you’re talking about…. anyway, where are we? i can’t remember how we came here. “ he said, walking to the window and looking outside. and that’s when he recognised the place. it was the hospital. he was at the HOSPITAL!

he felt like his breath hitched and his lungs closed. why was he here again? why was hyungwon talking to him like that? why couldn’t he remember anything? did…. he do something?!

“ won, … why are we in the hospital? “ he said quietly, fear crawling under his skin. turning his head towards the tall figure that was now standing straight with his hands hanging by his sides and watching him like he was some unknown creature.

“ d-don’t do this hoseok. it’s not funny. “ his tone was serious, threatening even. he had had enough of it. walking to hyungwon with fast steps, he grabbed the younger by the shoulder with both palms and looked straight in his eyes.

“ tell me why we’re here…. please “

hyungwon’s eyes jumped between his and in less than a second they became teary. tears started rolling down on his red cheeks like a waterfall. those cheeks were not as round as he saw last night. even holding hyungwon like that, he could feel the latter’s bones straight under his palms. hyungwon was so skinny. how could he have lost this amount of weight?! was he missing something? he wasn’t that skinny the last time they had video called which was… yesterday! right before the concert.

worried as hell because of hyungwon’s outburst, he hugged him as tight as he could. hyungwon started crying loudly and coughing, clutching on his t-shirt and pressing his face in the crook of his neck. wonho could feel the flowing tears wetting his skin.

he stroked over hyungwon’s beautiful pink hair, letting the strands roll between his fingers as he waited for his boyfriend to calm down. he didn’t know why he was crying, what he did know was that he had never seen him cry like this, not after lili’s disappearance many months ago. hyungwon was trembling in his arms, he looked so small although he was taller, way taller than him.

“ shshshsh…. it’s okay baby. it’s alright. i’m sorry if i did something wrong. i love you won. i love you so much. “ he whispered in the younger’s cute little ear before kissing his temple repeatedly.

after a couple of minutes, hyungwon calmed down a bit and leaned back. he let go of the fabric of his t-shirt and instead started touching him and looking at him up and down. his arms, his chest, his shoulders, before those big palms cupped his face like feather.

“ it’s really you. “ hyungwon just knew. he was sure it was wonho. from the way those beautiful eyes looked at him, full of passion, to the way his name rolled off his tongue, to the way he had tried to calm him down. he just knew wonho by heart.

 

hyungwon let his thumb caress the smooth skin of wonho’s cheek as he stared at him and tried to stopped the tears. he couldn’t put into words how much he had missed the hands that were circling around his waist at that moment. without hesitation he leaned forward and pressed their lips together, deepening it roughly from the very start. he couldn’t control his feelings. he was thirsty for wonho. he needed the body contact to finally believe that this was real. that wonho was really back and that it wasn’t just another dream. cuz no dream would do his lover’s lips justice.

 

wonho was taken aback by the… actual rough move of hyungwon. he was acting so different for a reason wonho couldn’t figure out at all. after a couple of seconds of the other basically ravishing his lips, he started kissing back. he was so damn worried about what could have been the cause of other’s behavior. the way those long arms circled around his neck tightly and that very slim body, way past the healthy way of being skinny, attached himself to him were so full of emotion. it was like wonho could feel the desperation hyungwon was feeling. he kissed back, looking at hyungwon who had his eyes closed shut. he couldn’t keep up with hyungwon at that point. he couldn’t keep up with the speed, the roughness, or the overflow of emotions. everything just left him completely confused. hyungwon was kissing him while crying his heart out and he didn’t know why.

 

wonho hugged hyungwon tighter and focused on their kiss. if this was what his precious baby needed, he would gladly give it to him. he would give him everything he had and more.

hyungwon broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. “ take me “

he looked so fragile, like one small touch from wonho could break him into pieces. “ take me babe, please. i need to know this is real. “ even his voice was shaking.

 

wonho didn’t need to be asked twice. grabbing hyungwon’s thighs, he made him jump up and circled his hands around his waist. hyungwon crossed his legs behind him. his hair was longer than he remembered, the roots had grown so much, the black color in contrast with the pink parts of his hair. those silky strands covered his eyes which wonho brushed away with his palm and kissed his forehead right after. “ i love you “ he whispered against hyungwon’s lips before closing the gap and kissing him. this time slowly and passionately. to his surprise, this time the kiss seemed to actually help in calming the younger down as the tears stopped and hyungwon’s breathing became deeper, and he looked like he was lost in the moment.

 

wonho made his way to the door, closing and locking it before he walked back all the way to the bed. the bed wasn’t made for two people but would do for now.

he placed hyungwon down on the covers gently and got rid of his t-shirt. hovering over hyungwon, who was checking him out like this was the very first time he had seen him naked, he connected their lips again. their tongues dancing in coordination. he could feel the younger’s long fingers running through his hair smoothly.

opening his shirt one button after the other, he grabbed hyungwon’s waist and sat him up. wonho took his shirt off while those big eyes never left him. he was dying to know what was this all about but now, he had a more important thing to do, namely making love to his one and only to help him calm down.

 

hyungwon was rather impatient as he let his hand travel on wonho’s bare chest, to his abdomen and under the waistband of his sweatpants. pulling both the pants and his underwear down, he helped wonho in taking them off before he laid back down, eyes focused on his face all this time.

“ Undress me “ that beautiful low voice said quietly as his eyes sparkled with what must have been the remaining tears in his eyes.

wonho unzipped the youngers jeans and took them all off from him.. he crawled between those delicious legs and circled his hand around his right thigh. hyungwon had really become way too skinny. he could see his bones through his skin. his ribs were showing, his stomach had even become hollow. it hurt wonho’s heart to the point that he wanted to curl up and cry for eternity but he had to be strong in order to be of help to the younger.

leaning down, he bit into hyungwon’s inner thigh gently. the younger moaned silently and covered his mouth right after. breaking the eye contact for a mere second, he reached behind him and took the pillow and put it under his head, probably to be able to look at him easier.

 

wonho started teasing him with slight bites and licks all over his inner thigh, leaving traces behind that disappeared a couple of seconds after with how light the touches were.

fingers found their way back in his hair as hyungwon pulled his head away from his limb. “ i need you inside me “ those blood red lips spoke with eyes full of lust and something between sadness, relief, and euphoria.

“ okay baby. anything you want “ he replied and placed a kiss on his ribs and then his stomach before closing his mouth around one of his cute little nipples. hyungwon moaned but muffled it with the hand on his mouth. they were at the hospital so he couldn’t be loud. rolling the bud around his tongue and biting on it, he felt hyungwon getting harder against his lower body. letting go of the erect nipple and sitting up, he looked around briefly.

“ do we have lube around here?! “ he hated it when sex needed to stop in order to get lube. that’s why he always prepared everything beforehand but he had forgotten this time, due to the rather sensitive situation.

“ i touched myself right before coming here, you don’t need to prep me. just… just fuck me already. “

wonho stared at him for a couple of seconds. why would hyungwon touch himself when he was literally there? the younger never did that with wonho around.

“ we still need that lube kitten. i don’t wanna hurt you in any way. you know how sensitive you are. “ he said while caressing hyungwon’s cheek.

something in hyungwon’s face changed as his lips parted and tears gathered in his eyes again. the hand that had been keeping him from moaning loudly, now seemed to be held there due to some kind of shock. his eyes widened, making them even bigger as he just kept staring at him. he didn’t know what he said for hyungwon to react like that.

a single tear rolled down hyungwon’s temple and landed on the mattress and as soon as it happened, hyungwon looked away, almost as if he had wished to hide his expression.

 

wonho made him sit up again and hugged him tightly after having kissed both of his eyes. it had always been easy carrying hyungwon around but right now it felt like he was even lighter than paper. “ what’s wrong baby? why are you crying? “ he said so quietly, even he himself had trouble hearing it.

hyungwon circled his arms around his waist lazily and shook his head slowly. he shifted so that he could get closer to wonho, crossing his ankles behind the older’s back.

the dancer's eyes focused somewhere between his chest and neck, unfocused, and started biting on the corner of his lips. he always did that when nervous.

wonho did as always. he brought his thumb to those beautiful lips, pressed it on the corner hyungwon was chewing and dragged it downward so that the latter had to stop abusing it. he then made him look up by the index finger under the pretty chin.

“ why aren’t you looking at me? did i say or do something that upset you? please tell me what made you cry like that. it hurts to see you like this. “ he kissed every part of hyungwon’s face.

“ you… you don’t remember? “ the younger asked with so much hesitation.

“ remember?! “ wonho raised his eyebrows. “ remember what baby? tell me. “ he brushed the pink hair back a couple of times with his fingers as he observed hyungwon’s face.

his boyfriend opened his mouth, appearing like he wanted to say something but closed his lips again and shook his head.

“ nothing important. will you lie down with me? i really missed you.”

wonho smiled and pecked the addictive plump lips. “ of course i will wonnie. i missed you too. so so much. i kept talking about you so much that jackson kicked me and told me to shut up. “ he chuckled recalling that day and in an attempt to brighten the mood a bit. hyungwon smiled back and leaned in, kissing his lips for one last time before they lied down. the younger’s head was on his chest, his fingers drawing patterns on his chest. his own hand was running through the pink silky hair as he watched them move between his fingers.

“ whatever happened, whatever i did, i promise i will make it up to you if you give me a chance. i’m sorry i hurt you. “ he spoke quietly, not daring to break the silence that surrounded them. it must have been really early with how the whole hospital appeared asleep.

“ you didn’t hurt me. “ hyungwon replied back, his lips moving against the skin of his chest.

“ i must have done something for you to cry like that. “ he answered immediately. “ rest a bit for now and then you’ll have to tell me everything cuz i don’t remember shit. “

he only heard hyungwon hum before they fell into complete silence. he knew hyungwon wasn’t asleep but he didn’t wanna break the calm that the younger seemed to have finally achieved after that horrifying breakdown minutes ago. the answers he needed could wait.


	82. Eighty Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content in the end :)

wonho currently was wrapped in hyungwon’s arms in their own bed at their apartment. A doctor called Eli had told him everything. himchan and hyungwon had looked so worried while he was listening to the doctor telling him that he apparently had another…personality?! living along with him and that, that other personality/person had been riding his body for the past four months. it was strange cuz he didn’t remember anything. the last thing he remembered was leaving the concert with jongup and getting in the van and then he had woken up in the hospital.

some things were quite confusing. if what they said was 100% true, this personality had been there since the fire incident. why come out now? why did he wait for so long before making an appearance and why did he leave now?! there should have been some kind of a trigger from what Eli explained to him but none of the three people there said anything about that. he asked but didn’t get a proper answer. they gave him something along ‘ tiredness ‘ and ‘ weak body and mind conditions ‘ being the reason the other could take over. it sounded fishy but wonho trusted hyungwon enough to accept it. there was no sign of lying in the latter’s face so there mustn’t have been anything special to it.

he still couldn’t quite understand it or deal with the fact that somewhere inside?! him there lived another person?! and that was the reason why he hadn’t been able to fall asleep, resulting in hyungwon embracing him closely and humming reassuring and loving words in his ears.

another reason, or another confusing thing, was this guy. the one with that long hair. when their session with eli had ended and he had exited himchan’s office, there had been this long-haired guy, standing a few meters away and looking at him like he was an alien. but there was something very, very sad to his eyes. while wonho was passing by him, he had grabbed wonho’s hand and just stared at him for several seconds before letting go and running away from them. kai had followed him. he really wanted to know who that guy was and why he looked so sad looking at him.

 

the doctors himchan and eli had wanted to keep him there but he hated that place so he just convinced them with the fact that he had a psychiatrist right by his side and that would be enough.

the said psychiatrist was sleeping soundly with his beautiful lips parted a bit. his hands were still tight around him almost like he was holding him in his dreams as well.

he had wanted to inform jongup first thing when they had gotten home but hyungwon didn’t let him. he said ‘ let me enjoy a couple of days with you before you jump right back into heavy schedules ‘

he wanted to be with hyungwon, he did, but he had been absent for four months already and that meant A LOT in their industry. he couldn’t think of losing fans or falling back one bit. he loved his job too much for that.

knowing the preparations would take a couple of days anyway, wonho reached out and took his phone from the nightstand, messaging his manager that he was back and totally fine to resume his activities. he needed to FINALLY release that album that seemed like to be cursed!

 

hyungwon had sent a message to their group chat, informing them that ‘wonho is back’ but told them not to come until the next day cuz ‘ i don’t wanna share my boyfriend with anyone today ‘

 

remembering his pout when he had typed it, wonho chuckled and kissed hyungwon’s forehead before slipping out of his hold. he thought it would be like the usual, the usual meaning that he didn’t have to be careful in the process cuz the younger wouldn’t wake up anyway, but he obviously thought wrong. as soon as he moved a tiny bit, hyungwon’s body jerked and he opened his eyes, looking at him.

“ where are you going? “ he asked in his hoarse voice.

“ shower. wanna join me? “ wonho asked brushing the hair out of hyungwon’s eyes. he really needed to cut his hair a bit.

“ no, i showered in the morning. “ he shook his head and stretched his body thoroughly, groaning. wonho had missed this so much. watching a grumpy hyungwon right after he had woken up was one of the best things ever.

“ just go back to sleep pinkwonnie. i’ll shower and then i’ll come back to cuddleeee. “ he stretched the last word and tickled his skinny lover. the latter bent in half immediately and looked at him like he had been betrayed.

“ it huuuurt you jerk. “ he almost yelled, rubbing the spot.

“ that’s because you’re literally skin and bones now. “ he cupped the younger’s face and squished his almost non-existent cheeks, making his lips plumper “ you know what? don’t go back to sleep. just get up, get ready and we’ll go out. i’m gonna have to stuff you with a shit ton of food to get you back in shape. “ 

“ ughghghgh, don’t wanna. we’ll just order something. “ he let himself fall back to bed.

“ no, we won’t. i’m serious hyungwon. from what i heard your life has been hell for four months, always in the hospital and all. get your flat ass out of bed. now. “ he deadpanned and waited for hyungwon to follow.

the latter sat up frowning “ you insulted my ass “

“ because you have none anymore. if you want me to worship it like before, you’re gonna have to gain back all the weight you’ve lost and more. “

“ AND MORE?! no way in hell. I’m perfectly fine with my model like figure thank you very much. “ he said while posing in some gracious way, basically hands on his waist, shoulder a bit tilted and hollowing his cheeks, to show off his ‘model like figure’

wonho burst out laughing as he stood there and watched him get the covers off and get out of bed. hyungwon blew him a kiss before walking past him to the bathroom. of course wonho didn’t lose the chance to spank him on his way there as well.

 

he turned on the water and waited for it to get hot.

“ i texted jongup. “

hyungwon who was washing his face stopped and looked at him with a ‘ i can’t believe you went behind my back ‘ kind of look.

“ whatever. “ he sighed and resumed what he was doing.

“ no, babe, it will take like 4-5 days for them to get me schedules. we’ll have time to spend with each other. besides it’s not like i’m immediately going on tour or something. “ he said while stepping under the shower.

“ what.ever. you still did the one thing i asked you not to.” the younger shrugged and it was obvious that he was really upset.

he finished brushing his teeth and looked in the mirror for the last time, observing his dark circles before clicking his tongue and looking away.

“ i’m not in the mood for going out. you can still go with whoever you want. “ hyungwon started walking out of the bathroom with a serious face while brushing his hair back annoyingly.

wonho panicked and ran out of the shower, grabbing hyungwon before he was completely out of the bathroom. he circled his arms around hyungwon, and pushed him back to his wet body.

hyungwon tried getting him to let go but obviously failed. he didn’t have one bit of strength left.

“ let go of me. “ he said and his voice didn’t show any emotions. wonho felt like crying. he shouldn’t have texted jongup. hyungwon was more important. he had always been more important and his stupid brain had forgotten the priorities in that moment.

wonho tightened his grip and leaned his head on hyungwon’s shoulder.

“ i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i was panicking cuz i’ve been gone for 4 whole months and god knows how many fans i’ve lost. … there are no excuses that can make it okay. i’m so sorry. “

hyungwon turned around and hit his palms on his chest hard enough to make him take a step back. his eyes were full of anger. those big eyes were piercing through his core with that intense gaze he had never seen before.

“ yeah. you were gone for 4 fucking months. i was here alone while none of your precious friends cared enough to still hang around after the first couple of weeks. i was utterly lonely, having to deal with hoseok, who by the way is a handful. all i asked in return, was you NOT telling the company that you were back so that we could spend like two days, in peace. but of course you care more about ‘the fans’. are they really ‘fans’ if they ditch you just because you’ve been absent for a while? are they really worth it then? “ he shouted and then just stood there looking at him. his eyes were filled with sorrow but there was no sign of tears in them.

“ i…. you’re right. i never thought about it like that. you’re.. absolutely right. oh my god, i’m so sorry hyungwon. “ wonho closed the gap between them and hugged hyungwon hesitantly.

“ i keep messing up everything. what should i do? do you want me to spend a couple of days away so you can calm down? i’d rather stay and spoil you with millions of kisses though. but… if you don’t wanna see my face, i understand. “ 

hyungwon leaned back and stared at him, lifting his eyebrow up a bit.

“ are you fucking crazy?! i didn’t wait 4 months to tell you to fuck off as soon as you were back! i just want you to understand that while it’s awesome to love your job, it’s not good to get too attached to it. and that you also have a boyfriend who had missed the hell out of you but you don’t even miss the first chance to upset him. jerk. “ he paused “ but then again you’re you and i fell in love knowing all of this. so while you can’t help but attach yourself to your job, i guess i’m gonna change where i work and attach myself to you.”

wonho raised his eyebrows and pouted his lips in confusion. was hyungwon saying that…. “ OH MY GO- babe!!!!!! are you finally agreeing to become my dancer???? “

“ well, i mean… yeah! it’s dancing which i love and it involves being by your side everywhere which i also love. “ 

“ oh my god oh my god oh my god wonniiiiiiieeeee!!! “ he practically squealed and hugged hyungwon as tight as he could. “ i’ve wanted this for soo long. it’s gonna be perfect! oh my god, you’re the best. i don’t deserve you!!!! “

hyungwon laughed and hugged him back tightly, burying his head in the crook of his neck. “ yeah yeah whatever “

after a minute of squeezing hyungwon in his arms, wonho smirked devilishly right into hyungwon’s eyes, grabbed his thighs and made him jump up and got him under the shower that was still on.

hyungwon screamed and punch him, trying to get out but it was already late and his clothes were completely soaked.

“ what the fuck! you ruined my clothes. “ he said with another punch.

“ you are too dramatic. “ wonho chuckled and kissed those delicious plump lips.

“ i’m just the right amount of dramatic, not too much. “ hyungwon murmured in the kiss and started kissing back right after. 

wonho smiled and deepened the kiss passionately. his hand traveled under hyungwon’s hoodie and roamed on his equally wet skin.

 

“ may i fuck you against the shower tiles model chae? “ he teased hyungwon after breaking the kiss.

“ you may “ the younger smiled and closed his eyes kissing him again.

after a few minutes of palms wandering on the other’s skin and tongues dancing together, hyungwon pushed his legs down to show wonho he wanted to stand on his feet. the older applied as he carefully let go of him until his feet touched the cold tiles. getting rid of his own clothes while he held the eye contact with his boyfriend, hyungwon grabbed him by the shoulder and turned them around such that wonho’s back was pushed to the tiles. the older hissed from the coldness. hyungwon grinned and kneeled down between the juicy thighs.

sucking on a sensitive spot on the older’s abdomen he knew by heart, he heard the older moan lowly and closed his eyes for a second before focusing on him again. he didn’t waste any time cuz he was fucking thirsty and closed his lips around the already half-hard erection and rolled his tongue around the head.

wonho moaned a bit louder and grabbed his hair. hyungwon let go of the erection and slapped the older’s hand away.

“ you’re not allowed to grab my hair today. it’s your punishment for upsetting me. “

“ you know i can’t “ wonho said looking down at him with eyes full of lust.

“ you will or i won’t suck you for a month. “ he replied and licked over his bottom lip in a filthy way a couple of times while looking up at wonho with puppy eyes. he knew it made him look innocent and that his boyfriend loved it.

wonho threw his head back, hitting the tiles rather hard and groaned.

“ fine. you’re mean. but i guess i deserve it. “ he bent down, grabbed hyungwon’s chin and licked into his mouth for a few seconds, earning himself sounds of pleasure from him before standing up again.

 

hyungwon took the erection in his hand and stroked it fast a few times before letting it slip into his mouth again, this time all the way till the head hit the back of his throat and stayed like that. wonho groaned loudly and reached out to grip his hair but stopped midway and placed his palms flat on the tiles.

“ you’re killing me. move babe. please move. “

instead of moving, hyungwon opened his mouth widely and let go of the erection and sat back on his knees. wiping his mouth with the back of his hand just for the view it made, he sucked on his index and middle finger and let his tongue roll between them. wonho was looking at him thoroughly, eyes intense like he would grab him and make him take it any second. but he knew better than that, so he just observed him silently while licking his lips repeatedly. 

the water kept running down on their bodies, steam adding to the whole situation.

hyungwon was a step away from wonho. sitting in front of him and teasing him with what he could have if hyungwon decided to give it to him. 

he let his wet index finger run on his chest and circle around his nipple as he looked into the older’s eyes playfully, tilting his head to the side a bit.

“ do you wanna fuck my mouth? “ he bit his lip for effect.

wonho licked on his lips and bit on them right after. “ yes. “

“ i shouldn’t let you though. “ he said and looked down between his own legs. “ aah~ i just changed my mind. “ he stood up and let the skin of their bodies touch as he sucked on wonho’s neck, making sure he’d leave a mark behind. the latter moaned in his ear, frustration obvious.

hyungwon drew a straight line from wonho’s neck to his chest, to his abdomen before he circled his index finger and thumb around the very hard erection.

“ this is what we’re gonna do. “ he whispered breathily in the older’s ear, his eyes fixed on the other’s closed one.

“ you’re gonna be a good responsible boyfriend and make us both cum by your beautiful hands at the same time. and then in a few days, if you have spoiled me enough, i’ll suck you and let you fuck me. “ he went back to abusing the skin of the older’s neck on the previous spot that was already red.

 

wonho opened his eyes fast after hearing that. swallowing hard, he gripped hyungwon’s jaw and made him let go of his skin. he was sure the younger was doing this on purpose cuz he knew he didn’t like it when hickeys were on him where people could easily see. he didn’t mind it per se but his career required not having love marks.

staring into those big eyes, that had a whole galaxy inside them, he spoke in a low tone “ you’re gonna be the death of me. “

wonho attacked those plump lips and caught the bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it continuously. hyungwon moaned right into his mouth which turned him on even more. it was torture but if his lover wanted it that way, he would do it. he couldn’t force himself on him anyway and he absolutely deserved it after what he’d done.

wonho let go of hyungwon’s jaw and let his hand travel down, circling around hyungwon’s erection. as soon as he squeezed him, the younger let the filthiest sound escape his lips. he made hyungwon move bit so that he was in front of him directly and took both of their erections in his hand, and started stroking. the friction was making them both insane. the knowledge that this was all he was allowed to do was making him lose his mind. he wanted to touch hyungwon everywhere in every possible way but the younger had been clear about the way he had wanted him and he wasn’t one to object.

after the first few strokes, he picked up pace and hyungwon lost all control over keeping his own body up. the younger circled his long arms around his shoulder and buried his head in the crook of his head, parted lips and hot breath touching his skin. every moan and whimper that left the other’s beautiful lips, sent goosebumps all over his body.

“ faster “ his boyfriend said and let his palm roam on his nape.

wonho went faster and moaned louder. it was a real punishment like this. he let go of hyungwon’s waist that he had been gripping on and grabbed his jaw again, kissing him roughly as soon as their lips touched. hyungwon was just as eager, kissing back hungrily and starting to fuck into his hand a bit. he was so gone although it wasn’t anything special.

the younger must have been close, just like himself, as he leaned back from the kiss and started breathing faster. he hid his face where it had been before and licked over wonho’s collarbone. he moaned and cupped the younger’s butt tightly.

hyungwon was a moaning mess, every moan louder than the previous one and it didn’t take him much longer to cum as he bit into wonho’s shoulder harshly and groaned. he had always loved rough treatment so the pain that the teeth on his flesh had caused sent him over the edge and he came just a second after his lover.

stroking them both through their highs, he let go and let the water wash the cum off of his hand.

“ can i touch your hair now? “ he asked, caressing the younger’s back and sides with his fingertips in feather-like touches.

hyungwon regained his strength and leaned back. 

“ no “ he smiled and pecked his lips one before stepping back and letting the water clean the remaining cum from his body. it didn’t even take a minute and as soon as he was done, he turned around to wonho.

“ wash up fast. i’ll get ready first. we were going out, remember? “ hyungwon’s eyes jumped from his eyes, to his neck and back to his eyes as a nasty grin appeared on his face before he walked out.

 

wonho walked to the mirror to see what had given such pleasure to the younger and … yeah, he was doomed. apart from the dark purplish-red circle, big circle, on his neck, there was an obvious teeth mark on his shoulder, just above his collarbone. how he was gonna cover this was a hopeless act he knew he wouldn’t be able to do.

walking back under the shower, he sighed and tried to come up with a number of ways to spoil his kitten, to make him forgive what he’d done. why he had done it in the first place was a mystery to him now after the reaction he had got. he made a mental note to never put his fans above hyungwon ever again.


	83. Eighty Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be using some photos that are not theirs from now on occasionally.  
> 널하다 = neol hada = i do love you  
> as always, there will be no username for fanpages.

 

(ig) 

 

**WonHo**

****

**2,134,034 likes        1,324,352 comments**

missed me?

 

  **kkukkung** **:** why the fuck are you not answering your phones?!

 **ShoBearNu** : where are you?

 **WhaleMin** : this is pure betrayal!

 **JHoney** : yo! The... we were supposed to meet today!

 **Ki.HamD** : i did not abandon my restaurant to come to an empty apartment!

 **H.One** : ❤

 

 

 

 

 

**H.One**

**120 likes     34 comments**

I Won

 

  **WhaleMin** : WHERE are youuuuu two :((

 **Whale Min** : i miss youuuuu :((((((

 **WhaleMin** : please call me as soon as you finish fucking :(((((((((

 **ShoBearNu** : **@WhaleMin** dude! 

 **JHoney** : **@WhaleMin**  babe! lmfao :v

 **kkukkung** : i will break your heads when you're back. this is not okay.

 **Ki.HamD** : @WhaleMin that is not appropriate.

 **WhaleMin** : @Ki.HamD you were MIA for so long i forgot all my manners :)

 **WonHo** : 널하다

 

 

 

*******

 

 

(fan cafe)

 

WonHo: wonbebe~ Hiiiii (// ▽ //)

did you miss me? i miss you so much (╥ω╥)

i’m sorry i was gone for so long. wait a bit longer and i’ll come back with what you’ve all been waiting for, okay?

 

 

WonHo: wonbebe~ there’s someone i want you to meet….

 

 

WonHo: the past few months were really hard. i know you got worried about me and i’d like to apologise to all of you. i’ll make sure something like that will never happen again TT

 

 

WonHo: anyway,,, meet hyungwon ^^

it’s because of him that i was able to find my way back. he stood by me for every second of it, supported me through it all and never lost faith in me. please love him a lot ^^

 

 

WonHo: i’ll go back to the studio life next week. we’ve already finished the album a million years ago so setting a date is all that’s left.

 

 

WonHo: they had to push the release date back because of me TT i’m sorry :(

 

 

WonHo: isn’t he beautiful? he outshines the most beautiful cherry blossoms! kkk

 

 

WonHo: i’ll read all of your letters this week. i love you wonbebe TT thanks for waiting for me TTTTT

 

 

*******

 

 

 omg!!! guys!!!!! I SAW THEM TODAY!!!!! I SAW THEM!!!!!

ok so i went to my grandma's house, which is in this small valley and my camera broke. i went to the nearest shop and THAT’S WHERE I SAW THEM!!!!!! hyungwon was teasing wonho so much he had to hit him with his cap to make him stop!! >_< hyungwon is such a cutieeeee!!! his laugh was so adorable like he laughs in this high pitched tone UwU !!! i totally understand why wonho’s in love with him!!!! i just saw him and i’m totally in love ! kkkkk

 

 

 

 

jfhglakhgluhfg so i went to this small tiny diner with my friends today and aaaaaaaa!!!!!! WONHO AND HIS BOYFRIEND WERE THERE!!!! I ALMOST SCREAMEDDDD!!!! THEY ARE SO FREAKING CUTE!!! the guy is taller than wonho it was sooooooo cuuuuuteeee hahahahaha TT

i assume his boyfriend saw us gushing over them, then he called wonho over and whispered something in his ear. wonho turned back and looked at us with a smile and winked. ahjgksjdahg i DIED!!!!! he is sooooo beautiful!! i missed him so much TT

 

 

 

 

we saw them again on our way home and hyungwon recognized us!!!!! he pointed at us and told wonho “ your wonbebe “ ajdfahgf why is he so cute!!!

wonho turned around and laughed and asked us if our meal was delicious TT he had this pack of lays in his hand that he was about to open but when he saw us, he gave me the pack!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER EAT IT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 (nevermind the mic)

ISTG today is this town’s lucky day! everybody is saying they’ve seen the nation’s boyfriends!! my sister and i were hungry so we decided to go to this diner my cousin went for lunch and saw them there. and *screaming loudly* THEY WERE THERE AGAIN!!!! i asked wonho why they came again and he said hyungwon loved the pork they served and he hadn’t had an appetite because of him lately so they wanted to eat again before leaving.

wonho is so whipped for him guys! he calls him 'wonnie' TT the way they looked at each other was just pure love TT

 

 

 

 

 

the wonbebe who live in this town recognized the diner and came there and waited outside to see them. there were like 20-30 wonbebe there. hyungwon came outside sooner, i guess wonho stayed back to pay or something. anyway, he saw us there and went ‘ oh! ‘ and smiled so brightly ( i’ll post his smile after this! )

wonho came out and because we were keeping quiet and his eyes can’t see anyone other than hyungwon apparently!! he didn’t see us standing across the street and hugged hyungwon’s waist but then hyungwon leaned over the little table in front of him and pointed at us. wonho quickly took his hand away ( which was honestly so sad because although everyone knows he’s gay he still has to ‘act appropriately’ in public! i don’t know why hugging his bf should be inappropriate!) anyway, this was his face at that moment! and then he came closer and shook a couple of wonbebe’s hands and told us to go back home quickly cuz it was getting late!

p.s.: he paid for our meal!!!!! TT

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

hyungwon's smile ( or should i call it laugh? idk :D )

a wonbebe asked why wonho wasn't replying mx's calls and he said he didn't want anything to disturb his time with hyungwon TT bunny is whipped TT

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

it’s 4AM and i was in the subway station cuz i had to stay overnight at work and i was seeing all these posts about wonho being in town with his boyfriend. i was sooooo mad and jealous cuz he had been literally a street away from where i live and i hadn’t been able to see him. then i hear someone saying “ we need tickets baby “ and laughing afterwards. i looked up to see who was this person who didn’t know they had to have tickets to get in and guess what?! it was THEM! wonho laughed and left to buy tickets and i got pictures of his boyfriend and honestly? he is the most beautiful person ( girls included!!!! ) that i have ever seen!!!! they didn’t notice me but they were walking hand in hand afterward and i didn’t wanna bother them but just look at him! UwU

 

 

 

 

*******

 

 

(fan cafe)

 

WonHo: what is this? kkkk

 

WonHo: we traveled to a small town by the sea, thinking no-one would know us there but wonbebe were everywhere TT i’m so happy i got to see you everyone~

 

WonHo’s reply to someone saying hyungwon is beautiful: right? ^^

 

WonHo: ah~ i love hyungwonnie so much!

 

WonHo’s reply to someone asking where is hyungwon right now: he’s asleep kkk

 

WonHo: tomorrow we will travel abroad for a couple of days. we couldn’t celebrate our anniversary cause i was… ill. i have to make it up to him for all he did for me these four months.

 

WonHo: mx guys…. i’m upset with them a little at the moment kkkk

 

WonHo: i hope i got to answer most of you tonight. i love you wonbebe. sleep tight. chu~

 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

 

**H.One**

  

**1,002,312 likes     400,324 comments**

get me my coffee already TT he stole my hoodie TT

 

  **WhaleMin** : oh no! hide your hoodies before he claims them all!

 **JHoney** : bro where the hell are ya’ll!!

 **kkukkung** : that moment when you have no source but fans’ pictures to know your brother is alive…

 **ShoBearNu** : that looks good on him though

 **Ki.HamD** : istg answer your phones or i’m never cooking you shrimp again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

**WonHo**

 

**1,424,945 likes        934,234 comments**

in short, the shrimp wasn't to his liking. he was insulted by the way it tasted!

 

 **Ki.HamD** : see? that's why you should come back so i can cook for him!

 **JHoney:** i will ignore you for a year if you keep ignoring me wonho!

 **kkukkung:** serves ya'll right -_- ****

 **ShoBearNu:** let's go to ki's restaurant when you're back.

 **WhaleMin:**  i'm hungry TT

 

 

 

 

( 2 days later )

**WonHo**

**2,345,685 likes     1,234,003 comments**

Thiland was lovely. thanks to the wonbebe who gifted us these beautiful teddy bears! we love them ^^ we're on our way back home.

 

 **Ki.HamD** : imma go buy some first class shrimps!

 **JHoney:** *ignores* meh~

 **kkukkung:** *shows middle finger* gfys

 **ShoBearNu:** we'll come there in the evening.

 **WhaleMin:**  i miss my koalaaaaaa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	84. Eighty Four

hyungwon had been so nervous about wonho finding everything out. he had texted eli before they went in himchan’s office, informing him that wonho appeared to not remember anything about what had triggered him and asking him to not tell anything about it. somethings were better left unsaid. it would do no good if they told him that he had gone through something they didn’t know exactly what and watched a girl being tortured and then practically raped hyungwon.

wonho on the other hand, had taken it quite well. all three of them had been actually surprised with the nonchalance the latter had shown. he had asked many questions about how that could be even possible and what it actually meant and was left quite confused but he didn’t show any discomfort what-so-ever. eli was quite fascinated with how wonho had reacted and said it had been the first time he saw someone not panicking over this news.

 

they had come back home. hyungwon had texted every one of the friends to NOT ever mention anything about what wonho had done to him and deleted the messages right after he had made his point clear. they had promised to do as told.

sleeping in the arms of the man he loved, he had fallen asleep without a constant pain in his heart for the first time in ages. he hadn’t intended on telling wonho how nearly everyone had left him alone in this but it had slipped his mouth at his angry state.

he had wanted to fuck wonho so much that it took all the self-control he had and more to stop himself and set it as a punishment for the older for having done the one thing he had asked him not to. he knew they would have their free days nevertheless, but he wanted to make wonho understand a few facts, like he had to be his first priority cuz he deserved it. if he wasn’t then there was no point in any of it.

 

getting ready and waiting for wonho, he was cursing himself for telling the other man about his friends. it wasn’t even completely true. they had messaged him every day to see if there had been any progress. or jooheon and changkyun had paid visits at least three times a week. he had to tell the other man that it had been just some angry talking and get over with it. but he didn’t have a chance as wonho walked out of the bathroom, went to the walk-in closet and started packing clothes in a suitcase.

“ um,,, what are you doing? “ he somehow panicked, standing at the entrance, thinking wonho was actually considering leaving him for a few days after what happened.

“ pack the stuff you need. we’re going on a trip. pack for like 4-5 days. “ hyungwon stood there looking at him with confusion written all over his face.

“ where are we going and why? the guys are coming here tomorrow. “ he said watching wonho put more items into the case.

“ well, i’d rather spend time alone with you than some people who would just leave you alone like that. they’re just gonna have to wait if they’re so caring. “

wonho was angry. hyungwon could tell although he was trying to appear calm. he had that intense look in his eyes, one that he controlled while he was around.

“ babe, no, they were stressed as well and i-“ wonho cut him by throwing the Louis Vuitton handbag he liked the most at him.

“ i don’t care why they did what they did. let’s talk about this later. just pack your contact lenses and other stuff in that. “ he kissed his cheek on his way out of the closet and went outside of the bedroom.

 

that was how they had ended up in the small town, that was more like a village, by the sea. wonho had picked there saying ‘ i’m not that famous to have fans there. ‘ and boy was he wrong! they were everywhere. literally everywhere! but they had been so nice, that they ended up having a fun time interacting with them in the two days they spent there. their friends kept calling but wonho told him strictly NOT to answer them. he had such a great time chilling in that town that he was kinda sad they had to leave. the food was amazing at that tiny restaurant they had picked randomly and he had gotten to know just how famous and loved his boyfriend was. and that said boyfriend had just shown him all the love in the world in every second. how could it get any better?!

he thought they were going back but wonho seemed to have other plans as they ended up in Thailand.

there was a Mercedes waiting for them at the airport. hyungwon looked at wonho with confusion and the latter just smiled at him and patted his back to get in the car as the driver had already opened the door for them.

 

getting in, hyungwon looked at wonho who was texting someone. pursing his lips together, he narrowed his eyes. “ you’re not texting the guys, are you? i swear if you end up making me look bad…”

wonho looked up at him with widened eyes “ what? no! of course not baby. “ his voice was so soft hyungwon wanted to melt.

wonho put his phone back in his pocket and leaned toward hyungwon, slid his palm slowly on his cheek and pecked his lips, letting their lips stay pressed on each other for a few seconds. leaning back just a couple of centimeters, wonho looked into his eyes with so much passion and adoration, it almost made his heart explode. well, it did explode but just internally.

the thumb on his cheek started caressing his skin very gently as they kept looking at each other, it was like the time had stopped and they were the only ones in the whole world. “ i love you “ his boyfriend said in that sexy low voice of his. hyungwon smiled brightly as he closed his fingers around the wrist of the hand that was on his cheek and tilted his head a bit, leaning into the touch.“ i love you too “

their little moment was over as the driver got in the car after having put their stuff in the trunk. “ shall we go? “

wonho pecked his lips quickly before sitting back and answering the driver with a nod through the mirror.

the phone vibrated again and his boyfriend was quick to check the text. unlocking his phone, the older smiled at whatever text he got and typed something fast and slipped the device back into his jeans. hyungwon raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on it. he was sleepy. he hadn’t been able to sleep in the plane and now the tiredness was catching up to him.

sinking into the seat a bit, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. wonho must’ve noticed as he moved closer to him and told him to lay his head on his shoulder. he did cuz it felt way better to sleep on a muscular pillow. his boyfriend intertwined their fingers and caressed the back of his hand with his free one. he had wanted to sleep but he couldn’t cuz the other’s touches were so delicate, he found himself basking in every second of it. and the way his soft lips felt on his skin when wonho moved their hands up to his lips? don’t even get him started!

“ it’s gonna be a bit of a ride. sleep. i’ll wake you up when we’re there. “ he said, brushing his hair out of his face which hyungwon was thankful for, cuz they had been on his nerve but he didn’t have the energy to do it himself.

“ i can’t sleep if you keep kissing and caressing my hand. it feels too good to miss. “ he said without opening his eyes. wonho chuckled and kissed his forehead.

“ not my fault you’re this delicious. i’m sorry. i’ll stop now. “

hyungwon smiled and copied what the other had done. he kissed wonho’s hand and let the intertwined hands fall back on his lap before he let himself go into the dreamland.

 

he woke up to lips whispering his name against the skin of his temple and fingers playing with his earlobe. “ wonnie, we’re here. “

opening his eyes and stretching a bit, he looked out of the window. he completely forgot about sleep when he saw the gigantic luxurious hotel they were in front of.

“ come on, let’s go. “

they got out of the car and an employee came to greet them and take their luggage to their room.

 

“ welcome mr. shin. “ the clerk welcomed them with a smile. hyungwon could swear he saw hearts pouring out of her eyes as she looked at wonho giving her their passports for required information.

“ everything's been set as you asked. here’s the key to your room. enjoy your time. “ she handed them two cards and smiled so bright as wonho shook her hand. “ thank you. “

 

they walked to the elevator. the older pressed the button and hugged his waist and pulled him closer to himself.

“ they’re watching. “ hyungwon whispered as he looked around.

“ so? “

“ … what if they take pictures?! “

“ again, so?! “

hyungwon looked at wonho and frowned. he had taken his hand away with the speed of light back at the small town and now it was okay?

the door opened and they walked inside. wonho pressed the very top floor and leaned back against the elevator wall.

“ why are you frowning? “

“ ha? uh,,, nothing. i just thought we’d have to keep a certain distance in public. “ he explained as he moved his hands to show that it wasn’t anything serious.

“ hmmm,, we don’t necessarily. you know our home country has a number of traditional people. so… yeah maybe it would be better to not hug and stuff there. but here it’s okay. come here. “ he said and pulled hyungwon flushed against his body, attaching their lips together.

“ i caught the driver staring at you twice. i mean i can’t blame him but once more and i was ready to fight. “ his boyfriend said as he locked his fingers behind his back, keeping him close. hyungwon’s hands were resting on wonho’s chest.

“ why was he staring at me!?! “

“ i don’t know. why do you have to be so beautiful to mesmerize everyone who looks at you? “ wonho said and buried his head in his neck, inhaling his scent in a deep breath. “ beautiful and delicious. “ he whispered probably to himself but hyungwon could hear with how close they were. didn’t elevators have cameras?….was someone behind the screen, watching them be all lovey-dovey right now?! oh god no!

his eyes widened as he pressed his palms on wonho’s chest and pushed himself away. wonho was left confused as he raised his eyebrows at him. hyungwon looked up and found what he was looking for. looking back at wonho, he pointed at the camera that was spying on them.

the older looked at the direction he was pointing and laughed, shaking his head.

“ you being shy is my biggest kink. “ the older pinched his cheek. the door opened with a ‘ding’ and wonho took his hand in his, walking out of the elevator.

“ i’m not shy. i’m just not comfortable with some stranger watching us make out. “ as soon as his sentence finished, wonho who was looking back at him smiled softly and patted the back of his hand.

“ sure baby. whatever makes you sleep at night. “ he grinned and the left side of his mouth curled up.

hyungwon rolled his eyes and was waiting for wonho to open the door so he could crash on the bed and sleep some more. jet lag was no joke.

their luggage had already put there before they got in but that wasn’t the thing that caught his attention. the whole suite was.

it was big and everything about it screamed EXPENSIVE. it looked like one of those chambers in a castle with big chandeliers and folded curtains at every corner and even at the entrance. there were candles in fancy holders everywhere, scented ones cuz there was this satisfying scent in the air, like freshly cut roses. that was not even the most important feature though, it was the small pool right in the middle of the suite.

 

 

hyungwon found himself staring at the whole place with a parted mouth in awe. it was… beautiful. and he had lived in the most beautiful house he had ever seen for a little more than a year now! the whole design took his breath away much like the first time he had been in wonho’s apartment.

“ this is magical! i feel like i’m in Delilah's chamber! “ he said as he turned to look at wonho who had been looking at him all this time.

“ Delilah? as in Samson and Delilah?! “ the older asked raising his brows in question. hyungwon nodded and licked over his lips.

“ oh god. don’t ever tell me you’re not dramatic ever again. “ wonho loud loudly and grabbed his wrist, making him move along.

turning to the left, he saw the bed that had been hidden from them where they had been standing. the whole bed was surrounded by silk curtains. it was so beautiful, hyungwon wanted to just hug it. only if his hands were long enough…..

 

 

“ EVEN THE BED LOOKS LIKE THE ONE IN DELILA’S CHAMBER! “ he squealed at wonho who laughed harder at him fanboying over the place.

“ i’m happy you like it. come on, there’s something i wanna… give you. it should be on the bed. “ he let go of his wrist when they were standing by the bed and crouched down to grab something. it was a black box and as wonho was standing in front of him again, he panicked. what was inside the black box? it couldn’t be…. no, no, NO! it was bigger than a ring box but… what if it was?! they were on good terms but nowhere near the whole marriage thing. and was it even legal in thiland?! oh no, why did it turn upside down so quickly? should he say yes? would wonho be upset if he said no? please let it be anything but a ring please please…

 

he must have gone pale or something as wonho patted his forearm and chuckled. the pat was a much-needed help for him to regain his focus.

“ relax, it’s not what you think! “ wonho chuckled again and started struggling to open the box.

“ i had so many plans for our anniversary but in the end, i ended up not being around when it came by… “ he managed to get the main box out and threw the one that was empty now on the bed. “ i will do my best at loving you endlessly and giving you presents. this will be the first one. it’s few months late but happy first-anniversary hyungwon. “

inside the box were two watches. couple ones. one silver and one rose gold. they were Audemars Piguet, the brand he had always loved but never dared to go near to as the prices were just mind-blowing.

 

 

wonho kept the box in front of him “ which one do you want? “

he answered without hesitation “ the silver one “

his boyfriend smiled and took the silver one out and put it on hyungwon’s wrist, humming in satisfaction. “ just like i imagined it’d look. “

wonho was a fashionista. he always knew just what to buy.

“ this is beautiful. thank you baby. thank you for all of it. “ he jumped up and closed his legs around his boyfriend’s hips. the older hugged him tightly.

“ i love you hyungwon. i’m sorry i forget to remind you of that sometimes. and i’m sorry i forgot my priorities and took you for granted. i’ll make sure to confess my love every day with endless kisses and all the gifts you deserve. “

hyungwon wanted to slap him at that moment. wonho basically told him how much he loved him at every chance he got, kissed him every spare second or every time they were close enough. sure he had done one mistake with texting jongup but that didn’t mean he had taken him for granted. jesus!

“ what are you even talking about! when did you ever take me for granted!? “ he attached himself more to the muscular body that was holding him up like he weighed nothing.

wonho turned a bit and sat on the edge of the bed with hyungwon sitting on his lap, making the curtains fall over their shoulders a bit. he leaned back to be able to look at his lover’s beautiful face, his arms still around the other’s neck and legs crossing behind his back.

“ we’ve been together for more than a year now and this is the very first time i’m taking you on a decent trip. even this one isn’t enough as we have to go back after two days. we basically spent all of the free time i could squeeze out of my schedule in the apartment. you must have felt sick of those familiar walls… “ wonho looked down and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. his face was extremely sad at that moment. hyungwon started playing with the strands of black hair, soothing both of their nerves while waiting for wonho to continue.

“ but it will be different now. now that you’ve finally agreed on working with me. we will travel together everywhere. you won’t have to stay alone at home, waiting for me anymore and i won’t have to lock myself in the hotel room, working like crazy to keep myself from ditching everything and fly right back to you. “ the older looked up and smiled at him, showing his straight teeth.

hyungwon returned the big smile and poked the left side of wonho’s lip corner with his index finger. “ i love how this corner of your lip lifts higher than the other side. “ he chuckled “ and yes. it will be amazing. i would go crazy if i had to wait for you to come back one more time. i can’t stay away anymore. i’m too whipped for that. “ they both smiled as they looked deep into each other’s eyes. it was as if they could see past the surface, straight to the depth of the other’s soul, the core of their emotions. the reflection of the candles had made a tiny heart in wonho’s eyes. seeing that, hyungwon smiled to himself and leaned in, slowly pressing their lips together.

he moved closer to the older’s body, locking his legs tighter around him as he deepened the kiss. wonho gripped his waist and rubbed his thumb on his sides, something hyungwon enjoyed a lot. he hummed into the kiss as he slid his tongue in his boyfriend’s mouth and waited for the other to start manhandling him cuz he missed it so much.

for some reason, wonho seemed to be under control and not pushing hyungwon into the mattress like he normally would have done by now. the reason was soon clear as the phone to their room started ringing. hyungwon didn’t wanna let him go so he took wonho’s bottom lip between his teeth to prevent him from moving. wonho struggled a bit to free himself but he tightened his limbs around the older as the phone kept ringing.

his boyfriend chuckled and moved his head backwards slowly, with his bottom lip still caught by hyungwon’s teeth, and tickled him. hyungwon screamed, resulting the other to quickly escape his arms as he let him fall on the bed and went to answer the damn phone that didn’t know timing at all.

he laid back on the fluffy covers and straightened his limbs all over the bed. it was seriously magical. the silk curtains were wrinkled and the way they filtered the light from outside was just overwhelming. he couldn’t wait to have sex in there! the shadows those curtains would draw on wonho’s body…

 

he was getting turned on just from the thought itself as wonho’s head appeared between the small gap the silk material provided.

“ get up won, we have a whole table of food waiting for you to eat. “ the older stretched his hand for him to grab, which he appreciably took and got out of bed.

“ what? so you didn’t plan on having sex after that whole romantic moment from the start?! i feel betrayed “ he said while fixing his clothes and hair.

“ you said i’m under punishment until you say otherwise, remember? i didn’t think a mere watch would make you that emotional. let’s go. “ hyungwon noticed wonho had already put his own watch on as he interwind their fingers and started walking.

“ a mere watch?! baby it’s Audemars Piguet!!! this costs more than some people’s whole year salary! “

wonho stopped on his track and turned his whole body to him.

“ didn’t know you were that materialistic but okay. i’m gonna keep that in mind.” he smiled and fixed hyungwon’s shirt a bit, a wrinkle that he himself must have missed and checked his whole body from top to bottom once before nodding to himself and resuming walking.

“ i’m not materialistic. i’m just saying that it’s not just a ‘ mere watch ‘. i’ve been in love with this brand my whole life! you don’t have to buy me ridiculously expensive stuff for me to love you and ‘ get emotional ‘ “

wonho shut him up by kissing his lips for a few seconds before placing one last peck and opening the door, holding it for hyungwon to go first.

 

“ i know you’re not materialistic. i was just teasing you. you’re the perfect friend and lover anyone could wish for. you don’t lack anything. “ wonho said as they got into the elevator, pressing hyungwon between himself and the elevator wall with both of his hands on either side of the younger next to the slim waist.

“ babe, the camera. “ he said but also circled his arms around wonho’s neck. the reason? because he knew how sneaky people could be. what if he pushed wonho away, which he wanted to do cuz there was someone of not more watching them, and then they sold the footage to some cash-crazy reporter and they made it look like wonho was forcing himself on hyungwon? he had seen these cases too many times with celebrities, he didn’t want it to happen to his boyfriend.

“ i should tie you up and fuck you while recording you some time. see if you’ll still be able to be worried about a camera. “ wonho whispered against the skin of his neck.

“ okay, first, don’t say stuff like that. i’m already this close to waste all the money you spent on the food we’re going to eat and drag you back to that room to fuck me. second, that would be different. that would be for us and not the whole world to see. “

“ mmm,,, i would love that. but sadly my desire to watch you eat is way more than hearing you scream my name while i fuck you into the mattress. preferably with your hands tied and a gag in your pretty mouth so you wouldn’t be able to order me around like you did last time. “ the older said and bit into his neck lightly, keeping his skin between his neck for a couple of seconds.

hyungwon was dying. he could feel his pants getting tighter. he knew wonho was doing this on purpose to rile him up. he loved playing games with him in public like this.

“ you wanna tie me up so you can fuck me like a sex doll without a chance to protest? “ he hissed at the teeth on his neck and gripped wonho’s sides, his fingertips pushing into the muscles.

“ i wanna tie you up so you won’t be able to force yourself to stop. i know your horny behavior hyungwon. you were dying for it just as much as i was. you can’t fool me kitten. “ the low voice whispered in his ear and the vibration from it sent several shivers down his spine. wonho’s leg traveled between his as wonho used it to make friction on his half-hard erection.

hyungwon moaned quietly as he tightened his grip on wonho’s hips and hit his head on the elevator wall. “ take me back to the room… please.. “

wonho’s tongue slid over his lips once before he let go of him altogether and took a step back. “ no “ he said with a smirk and ran his fingers through his black hair.

the usual ‘ding’ informed them they had arrived to the first floor. wonho took his hand in his and winked at him before walking before walking out of the elevator and dragging an unfocused horny hyungwon after himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	85. Eighty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *******warning*******  
> smut ahead :)

hyungwon had been so desperate. so in need of even one touch from all the teasing he had to bear in the elevator. but then they had walked to the table that was already set for them and the view… the view had been so breath taking he had forgotten all bout his desires. the way the city lights and the big round moon melted into each other was like fairy tail.

wonho had pulled the chair back for him to sit, something he always did, and that made the waitresses literally go crazy with the noises they made. had they not seen someone do this before?! for god’s sake!… he was feeling really shy! and loved! because wonho apparently was going to let the whole world know how much he loved hyungwon with all of this public affection showing.

 

after they had come back to their suite, jet lag had already got the best of them as they just got rid of their clothes and crawled under the covers, in the curtain surrounded bed and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

 

when hyungwon woke up it was still dark outside. looking at his watch, the only thing on his body, it showed that it was 3 AM. he had slept for almost 6 hours. turning around, he saw an empty bed. before he had time to panic, he saw a small note on the pillow ‘ i went to the gym ‘

stretching his limbs, he decided to take a shower and get ready for when wonho came back.

 

his shower took a bit longer as there was already a galaxy glitter bath waiting for him. his boyfriend was all about the details and the little things. he did’t rinse his body as he got out of the bath, purposefully letting the glitters stay on his skin. walking out, he saw wonho in the small pool, floating with his eyes closed.

 

“ why didn’t you join me? “ hyungwon asked calmly as he let his robe fall on the ground and entered the pool.

wonho opened his eyes as soon as he heard his footsteps and stood up, water covering a little higher than his waist. it wasn’t a deep pool after all.

“ i already showered in the gym. “ he answered and stretched his arms towards him and helped him get into the pool and immediately pulled him into his embrace.

“ you smell like mint. i must have mistaken the bath bombs. “ his boyfriend said as he loosened his arms and hyungwon saw him wince a bit.

“ what is it? did you hurt yourself in the gym again? “ worry crawled up his mind as he recalled the last time the older had hurt his knee and had to stay in bed for a week, nearly losing his mind in the mean time.

“ no, i just worked out a bit too much and now i’m sore all over. “

hyungwon pursed his lips “ turn around “ he made wonho turn his back to him and started massaging him. “ why did you over work your body like this? your muscles are all tense “ he said as he used more strength on the knots.

wonho moaned, probably in pain as he grabbed to edge of the pool with his palms. “ my body is so out of shape. did the guy-… hoseok, he didn’t exercise at all, did he?! “

hyungwon’s hands paused at the mention of his name for a second before resuming again. “ hoseok is the laziest person i’ve ever known. “ he chuckled unconsciously remembering the times he actually had to play hide and seek with him so that he would move his body a bit.

wonho turned his head back and looked at him briefly with a puzzled expression before looking away again.

“ how was- … is, how is he like? “ he asked right before a groan when hyungwon massaged a particular spot without mercy.

 

“ hmmm,,, let’s see… he is an actual brat. kai nearly lost his shit several times because of him and jeonghan. they did all kinds of pranks together. once he climbed a tree so high, the tree actually started bending over due to his weight. we all thought he would just fall and break some bones but he landed on the ground as smooth as a cat. “ he recalled how terrified he had been for wonho’s safety that day.

 

“ WHAT?! “ wonho turned around so fast the water splashed around them.

“ he climbed a fucking tree?! with my body?! doesn’t he know i’m terrified of heights?! “

“ well, you are, he isn’t you babe, therefore he has no fear. he’s quite carefree. “ hyungwon said as he turned his boyfriend around again and kissed his shoulder before resuming his massage session.

 

“ he sounds like fun. i wish i could be carefree. i still don’t quite get how this whole multiple personality thing works. i just have to keep myself in check not to let him out again. “ wonho semi-whispered as he pushed his lower body back due to the pain he was under at the moment. his ass touched hyungwon’s groin and the older immediately turned around and gripped his wrists.

“ alright. that’s enough. thanks. “

hyungwon looked at him in shock for a couple of seconds before he burst out laughing, actuating bending in half and clapping.

“ you’re too much of a top for your own good. you literally panicked because my dick got in touch with your ass for like a millisecond! “

wonho frowned and narrowed his eyes, looking at him laughing like there was no tomorrow. hyungwon turned evil as the corner of his lips curved up and he lifted one of his eyebrows.

“ have you never tried it? ever? “ he asked in a playful tone.

“ hyungwon! “ wonho said in a warning tone.

“ what?! it’s just a question. i’m just innocently curious. how can you know whether you like it or not if you’ve never let anyone near yourself before? “ the expression on his face was anything but ‘innocently curious’

“ i could even help you with a little experiment “ he wiggled his index and middle finger in the air in front of wonho’s face as he grinned.

wonho slapped his hand away. “ haha very funny. maybe i should make you run a little experiment on yourself while i watch. what do you think? “ he turned hyungwon around and pulled his back flush against his muscular chest, holding hyungwon’s wrists on his slim chest in an iron grip. the act had been so fast, the younger didn’t even realize when he ended up being held like that.

wonho’s muscles must have screamed at him because of the sudden movement as he hissed and loosened his arms around hyungwon a little.

chuckling, he eased his way out of the older’s arms “ i’ll keep a bit of distance mr. nothing-gets-near-my-ass. just turn around and let me finish my massaging session so you can return the favor. i’m thirsty. “

wonho laughed as he stared at him in disbelief “ wow talk dirty to me “

 

the older turned around and hyungwon got back to his work. a pleasant silence fell between them, water splashing gently from time to time the only sound around them.

“ hyungwon..”

“ hm? “

“ that boy… the long-haired one, who is he? “

“ jeonghan? he and hoseok got pretty close, why? “

“ i don’t know. i just… keep thinking about him. the way he was looking at me… it somehow breaks my heart every time i remember the look in his eyes.”

hyungwon stopped completely and looked at older’s side profile that he could see from that angle. he didn’t know what to say so he just remained quiet.

“ do you think… i don’t know, maybe i should pay him a visit or something? see if he needs anything? that kind of stuff? “

“ that kind of stuff? “ hyungwon heard himself repeating. his heart was beating fast in his chest, suddenly remembering all the insecurity he had felt because he had seen jeonghan and hoseok making out several times.

“ yeah like, if there’s anything i can do to help him with whatever his situation is. “

“ and what if his situation is missing making out sessions with hoseok? will you help him with that? he’s from a rich family, he doesn’t need your help. doesn’t have a lost lover like taehyung for you to find either. “ he didn’t know why he felt so bitter all of a sudden but it was just how he felt and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

wonho turned around slowly and embraced hyungwon in his arms and made him rest his head on his shoulder, caressing his hair gently.

“ did i trigger my pinkwonnie’s jealousy again? i’m sorry baby. i didn’t mean that. i had no idea you had to watch them go at it. i’m sincerely sorry. “ his voice was soft and caring, making the younger’s heart melt over and over again. hyungwon curled his arms around wonho’s neck loosely.

“ i just… it was hard, watching someone’s tongue with your appearance deep in some other boy’s. it felt like i was watching you cheat on me. “ hyungwon’s eyes widened and he leaned back to look at wonho’s eyes a little bit frustrated

“ tell me the truth, do you- are you attracted to him? “

the older’s mouth parted comically and his eyebrows raised as high as they could as he just stared at him in awe. “ are you stupid? “

wonho pulled him back in a tight hug “ i’m not attracted to him. i just walked past him once, how can i be attracted to him hyungwon, jesus! “

“ so what? if you meet him a couple more times, you might just fall for him? “ hyungwon moved his lips on wonho’s skin as he hugged back.

“ i swear to god, who i don’t even believe in, that i’m this close to throwing you out of the window. “ his boyfriend swayed his body around furiously, making water splash all over.

“ you wanna throw me out of the window so you can go live happily with your long-haired beauty? what about me? what about the hyungwon who cooked you so much ramen?? the hyungwon who gave you too many surprise blowjobs in the morning? “ he pouted dramatically as he pulled his puppy eyes out.

wonho kept staring at him like he was utterly amused by his act.

“ i see you’ve decided to be a brat today. “ the older cupped his ass with both of his hands in the water.

“ hyungwon is my one and only and i will make whoever dares to say otherwise beg for mercy. “ wonho grabbed his cheeks and made him look at him. “ are you ready to beg baby? “ mischievousness was pouring out of his eyes. before hyungwon could even answer to that, he was moved to the corner, was told to grab on the edge and keep his body floating on the surface of the water. he did without objection, body and mind already clouded by lust.

 

wonho grabbed under his hip to keep him steady as he bent down and started sucking him off right away and as he had said, with no mercy. hyungwon had trouble staying on the surface and if it wasn’t for his boyfriend’s strong grip he would have lost his balance by now. he had become a moaning mess in no time at all with that skilled mouth and was just about ready to let go when the mouth left him.

“ stand up “ wonho said as he wiped the corner of his mouth.

“ wait, i wanna try something. “ hyungwon exhaled as he stood before his lover and turned them around so that wonho could lean on the edge if he wanted to. he was about to sink down when he was stopped and brought back up.

“ what are you doing?! “ the older was looking at him with widened eyes.

“ i wanna blow you underwater handsome “ hyungwon winked at him but the hands didn’t let him go.

“ are you crazy?! no! it’s too dangerous. “ his lover shook his head.

“ babe! it’s okay. you know i can hold my breath for around 10 minutes. i’ll come up if it gets too much. just relax and enjoy, okay? “

wonho was hesitant but still nodded and pecked his lips with open eyes.

“ i want you to do something. block my nose so i won’t breathe through it accidentally. “ he said as he kneeled under water between his lover’s legs.

“ you’re crazy. just come up or pat my thigh if it gets too much. “ the older said as he brushed his hair away but they moved around in the water with his every movement anyway. wonho did as asked and blocked hyungwon’s nostrils with his fingers. he loved breath play so he was actually looking forward to this maybe way more than the person who was getting the blowjob.

 

parting his lips, he let the tip of his tongue out and left kitten licks on the beautifully hard erection. wonho hissed and rearranged his fingers on his face. hyungwon didn’t wanna waste time as he couldn’t stay for that long to do foreplays and all, so he relaxed his throat and went all the way down on wonho until he hit the back of his throat. staying for a second, he opened his mouth wider and made his way further until he had the whole length inside.

wonhho groaned and let his head fall back as hyungwon swallowed around him. the younger stayed there and hummed around his length and it could be enough for him to cum already. but then his beautiful tease came back all the way and let the tip of his erection touch those plump sinful lips.

hyungwon leaned in and bit into wonho’s thigh. it was unannounced and sent multiple electric shocks through his body. everything was more intense because of their situation. wonho was worried about hyungwon’s safety, knowing that the younger was careless when it came to breath-play and would push himself too far but it felt so good and hyungwon was so god damn perfect at what he was doing that it didn’t really give him time to protest.

his pink haired beauty deep throated him again and twirled his tongue around him. the problem with hyungwon was that he was really a kitten and kittens, they bit. but wonho loved the pain that came along with pleasure so when hyungwon pushed his teeth in his base, as he was around him, as careful as it had been, an intense amount of pain and pleasure exploded in his every nerve. grabbing a fist full of hyungwon’s hair and tugging at it harshly the moment he felt the sensation overflow, he pulled the younger’s head back, making him let go of his erection and slapped him. it was a light slap as he didn’t have the heart to hit him any harder than that. it was something he knew wasn’t too much for hyungwon. they were both kind of sadists. the biting side of hyungwon however, came out whenever he was angry or dissatisfied with something. wonho was guessing the whole jeonghan thing might have been the trigger this time. he could never get used to it as situations like this were so rare.

after the slap, he let his palm remain on the soft cheeks as he grabbed and squished them with his thumb and fingers, dragging hyungwon out of the water. “ bad kitty, no biting or i’m gonna have to put a gag on you. “

hyungwon pouted and let his nails travel all the way down from wonho’s chest to his abdomen, leaving thin red lines behind.

 

the younger opened his mouth wide and flattened his tongue for a second, looking up at him, before he bit his bottom lip and licked over it right after.

“ fuck my mouth baby “ hyungwon was so gone, it was a sight to see.

wonho smirked at the fucked out face of his lover, as he tugged at the soft strands again. “ remember what i said about you begging? i’m not gonna just give it to you that easy. you were being a brat. “

hyungwon hissed and leaned into the touch, the thumb that was caressing the cheek that had been slapped.

turning his head toward wonho’s thumb, he sucked it in his hot mouth and moaned around it.

“ please. fuck my mouth till i’m out of breath. please baby.. “ hyungwon took a deep breath and went under water again.

wonho wasn’t gonna ask for more than that as begging was really not his forte. parting the sinful lips with his thumb, he slipped his rock hard erection inside. hyungwon immediately closed his mouth around him. the younger took his palm and placed it on his nose, telling him to block his oxygen intake like the last time and then kept his hand behind his back, waiting for wonho to start moving.

the older started fucking that mouth, moaning and biting his lips repeatedly. hyungwon was a whole kink, sitting there like a good boy with his tongue twirling around him every time he moved back a bit. the younger had his eyes closed cause water would burn his eyes otherwise and wonho loved it. everything about this situation was just perfect. hyungwon having to hold his breath, he himself holding himself back from touching wonho, and the fact that he couldn’t see because he had to keep his eyes shot. it was like he was restrained without wonho putting anything on him.

it must have been around 7-8 minutes when he saw hyungwon fidgeting with his fingers behind his back. he was one step away from the edge but couldn’t risk anything. pulling out and getting hyungwon to stand, the younger opened his mouth and started breathing heavily.

“ your face is all red won, what the heck. i told you to stop when it got too much. “

“ i was about to. that was amazing. “ the younger inhaled and a satisfied smile spread on his lips.

“ you kinky brat. come on, i’m dying to fuck you. “

 

wonho got out of the pool and helped hyungwon get out as well. walking to the bed, the younger pushed him on the mattress and crawled on top of him.

wonho was looking at him thoroughly. the shadows that the curtains made were just perfect on his boyfriend’s skin. the same look of adoration was visible in the other’s eyes. something told him they were gonna get curtains for their bed after this.

 

hyungwon leaned down and pressed their lips together in a barely-there touch. his hand went under the pillow next to wonho’s head and looked like he was looking for something. and soon he got to know what the younger had in store for him.

“ you see, i really hate it when you talk about other people. i get jealous and then i wanna bite and mark you all over. “ his boyfriend said playfully as he slid a black ribbon on his chest, moving against his nipple and making him bite his lip.

“ but you already bit me. “ he said with his half leaded eyes as his hands gripped the slim waist tighter.

“ that? that was my teeth barely coming in touch with your skin. “ hyungwon shrugged nonchalantly.

“ you bit my dick hyungwon. “ wonho said in an intimidating tone, wanting to make his point clear that although he had painfully enjoyed it at that moment, he really didn’t wanna experience it again.

“ but! how are you gonna make my jealousy go away? “ hyungwon said as he sat on his knees that were on either side of wonho’s hips and put both of his fists on his abs, resembling a fucking kitten with that ribbon between his fingers. he knew, he just knew that the younger was doing all of this on purpose. he knew he loved playing innocent.

 

“ what do you want me to do for you baby? what does my kitty want? “ he asked as he rubbed his index finger on the plump bottom lip before the boy on top of him licked on it briefly.

wonho rolled his wet finger around one of hyungwon’s nipples slowly, looking at him and waiting for his answer.

the younger moaned silently and bit his lip again.

“ i wanna tie you up and ride you. will you let me do that? “ that low hoarse voice talked while tilting his head to look even more innocent with those widened eyes. those damn eyes…

 

“ everything for you my prince “ the older said and brought both of his arms above his head. he had never once let anyone, not even minhyuk tie him up. he just didn’t like it back then but with hyungwon, he didn’t really know why even this felt right.

 

his boyfriend smiled and told him to close his eyes and to not open until he said as he kissed both of his eyelids.

wonho had thought that he was gonna get tied by that thin ribbon, meaning he could just tear it apart and push hyungwon down whenever he lost patience but of course his little devil had other plans. that other plan included two individual handcuffs, cuffing him to each side of the bedposts.

 

“ you know you’re gonna pay for this later “ he said as a matter of factly.

“ whatever. you’re at my mercy right now and that’s all that really matters. the tables have turned my king. “

hyungwon repositioned himself a bit and spread his legs and leaning on his left hand that was behind his back, therefore minimizing his weight on wonho’s abdomen.

“ you wanted to watch me run a little experience? well, you’ll get to see it now while i’m sitting on your lap fingering myself while you’re completely restrained. “

hyungwon was what they called ‘ a hoe in bed ‘ . he was, as he had said a thousand times, a whole kink. everything about him could make wonho lose his mind. had the situation been different, with hyungwon not as horny as he was now, he would never, ever do or say these things. he would rather turn as red as a tomato and hide in wonho’s embrace like an adorable toddler. he loved both sides of him insanely.

 

the slim boy pushed one of his lubed fingers inside, hissing and licking his lips repeatedly. it didn’t take him long before he pushed the second one in and moaned loudly as he moved his fingers in and out.

hyungwon forced himself to keep his half-lidded eyes open to keep the eye contact. wonho’s eyes were jumping between that beautifully fucked out face and those long fingers disappearing inside that tightness.

 

“ i can’t wait anymore. i want you inside. “ he wiped his fingers on the previously prepared tissues and lubed wonho up.

“ two is not enough baby, use one more. “ the older said as he saw hyungwon lining up.

his lover shook his head “ i wanna feel you stretch me more. i wanna feel every inch of you moving inside of me. “

 

hyungwon was tight. he was so tight wonho felt like dying, like his entire soul was getting crushed. moaning and tugging on the chains, he kept his eyes on his beauty on top of him and the way he was disparaging inside that hot body inch by inch in a torturously slow pace.

when he was finally fully seated, they both took a couple of deep breaths due to the way they had held it in.

 

wonho waited for a while for hyungwon to get used to the feeling, thinking he would move on his own but the boy just kept kissing and licking him all over without an inch of movement. that brat would convulse around him every few seconds, making him moan and his eyes to roll back but it didn’t seem like he had any intentions on moving any time soon.

when hyungwon found his sweet spot behind his ear and kept sucking on it, he nearly lost it as he moaned louder than usual. “ move baby “

 

instead of implying, hyungwon stopped everything he was doing and sat up, staring at him.

“ beg “

it was completely quiet for a couple of seconds before the younger spoke again.

“ i did and now it’s your turn. you were the one who upset me after all. “

“ i won’t beg. “ wonho said in a serious tone and a straight face.

“ it’s just a word. why can’t you say it while i always do like a mantra? “

“ all you have to do, is say ‘please’ and i’ll start moving. “ hyungwon slid his index finger on his chest as he talked.

wonho’s eyes jumped from one of his eyes to the other.

“ i won’t beg. “ he repeated himself, this time throwing an intimidating gaze at his fragile boy.

“ then i guess i’ll just jerk off with you buried deep inside me and then leave you like this. “ his tease started stroking himself very slowly, moaning at the feeling.

“ you know what i’ll do to you once i’m free. you can’t keep me tied forever. “

hyungwon didn’t react and just simply convulsed around him again, making him hiss. he would moan but he was trying to be as dominant as he could be so moaning wasn’t an option at that moment.

the younger gave himself a couple of faster strokes before he let go and leaned down, their faces only a few inches away. he could feel the hot breath hitting his skin.

“ beg “ the younger whispered as he looked deep into his eyes.

wonho narrowed his eyes before he closed them and took a deep breath.

“ i wanted to play along with your little game but you brought this upon yourself. “

next thing hyungwon knew was that he was being pressed against the sheets, caged by wonho’s muscular body. his eyes widened in shock as he didn’t really understand what happened.

“ next time, make sure you put the cuffs on me correctly. “ the older said with a grin and smashed their lips together hungrily. he was still inside the younger, having used one of the martial art techniques he knew to flip them.

 

hyungwon moaned loudly and curled his limbs around the older, pulling him closer and getting visibly impatient.

wonho pulled nearly all the way out and slammed back into the tight body. his hot boyfriend lost it as he begged him repeatedly to do that again and to fuck him hard. it was really amazing how a mere minute ago hyungwon had wanted control but now was giving it all away so willingly. that was what really got him going. pretending to have control and do things to piss wonho off just that he would get the rough treatment cuz that’s how he could get the older to not care about hurting him so much.

 

picking up the pace, he continued fucking the gorgeous body deep, adjusting the angle so he would hit the spot every time. hyungwon was fucking gone. tears were gathered at the corner of his eyes and one rolled down in time with wonho slamming into him harder than before.

“ please make me cum, please, fuck me wonho, fuck me up baby “

a few more thrusts and hyungwon came with a loud scream as his body kept trembling in wonho’s arms.

he rode hyungwon through his high and was about to jerk himself off on that lean stomach when his boyfriend sat up.

“ i want you in my mouth “ that sexy hoarse voice spoke as he started bobbing his head on him.

“ yes won, just like that…. good boy “ wonho was breathless as the pretty lips kept working around him and before he knew it, he had come down his lover’s throat with a loud groan of his name.

 

calming down a bit, he cleaned hyungwon up and pulled him into his arms.

kissing his forehead, he let his hand ghost on the golden skin that was magically breathtaking under that light.

“ i can’t believe i didn’t do the cuffs right! “ hyungwon chuckled and hid his face in wonho’s chest, looking embarrassed.

“ i’m happy you didn’t. or else i would lose my sanity. “ he smiled and squeezed the younger in his embrace.

“ all you had to do was saying ONE word. “ hyungwon looked up at him and rolled his eyes.

“ anyway, do you wanna take a shower…. please? “ wonho said with a smirk, looking down at his lover who was looking at him in disbelief.

“ you are SUCH a JERK! “ hyungwon punched his forearm several times as they both burst out laughing. wonho took hold of the slim wrists and pinned him down on the bed. again. he leaned in and started kissing the only and only love of his life slowly and passionately. there was still all morning to shower. right now, he still needed to taste those plump lips more.


	86. Eighty Six

_' Company announces the return of_ **Wonho** _to the industry_ _after 4 months of hiatus along with the release date of the soloist's 4th full album. '_

 

_*******_

 

__

_' **Wonho** to finally release the long-awaited album. fans could not be happier.'_

 

_*******_

 

__

_' Kpop solo artist, **Wonho** , spotted on a romantic date with his new boyfriend in Thailand_ _.'_

 

_*******_

 

__

_' **Wonho** 's airport fashion trends #1 worldwide'_

 

_*******_

 

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_' Netizens have put Wonho and his dancer boyfriend under fire for being " too public " '_

 

_*******_

 

 

**WonHo**

__

2,100,434 likes       1,000,003 comments

' dancer boyfriend's name is Hyungwon. #thankyou_next

 

 

*******

 

**MX squad**

 

 

 

JHoney: lmfao won snapped!

 

WhaleMin: why did my koala snap?

 

JHoney: wonho babe, not wonnie.

 

ShoBearNu: my head will burn wires from these two’s names, soon.

 

Ki.HamD: what happened?

 

ShoBearNu: oh ki, long time no see man!

 

Ki.HamD: yeah… hey!

 

WhaleMin: awkward………….

WhaleMin: but what happened honeybee? tell us!

 

JHoney: istg… do you guys never follow the news?!

JHoney: netz are backlashing 2won, right?

JHoney: allkpop went ‘ wonho and his dancer boyfriend ‘ and won was like he has a name and it’s hyungwon.

JHoney: he ready to fight for his bae! am jealousy!

 

Ki.HamD: omg! just saw the post!

Ki.HamD: he even used #thankyou_next :v

 

WhaleMin: …. i hate these netz. they made my life hell back then.

WhaleMin: i hope hyungwon is okay…

 

kkukkung: it’s what they deserve after avoiding us for days. suits them well.

 

ShoBearNu: kyun! can you not?

 

kkukkung: no i can’t not!

kkukkung: ya’ll were too busy with your own stuff but i went through hell and the second he’s back, he cuts us off.

kkukkung: he always says i’m different for him but the truth is he dislikes me just as much as he dislikes our parents, well, my parents.

 

JHoney: kyuni, i’m pissed at him too but saying he doesn’t love you is too farfetched. you know he’d take a bullet for you.

 

ShoBearNu: we’re all angry at each other somehow.

ShoBearNu: these past months haven’t been easy for either of us.

ShoBearNu: let’s just go to their place tonight and talk it out.

 

Ki.HamD: don’t eat anything guys, i’m bringing all your favorites.

 

WhaleMin: god knows how much i’ve missed your cooking!

WhaleMin: scratch that! even god doesn’t know!

 

JHoney: babe, will you pick me up? i didn’t take my car today.

 

WhaleMin: it’ll cost you.

 

JHoney: … we just had sex this morning!

 

WhaleMin: yeah but it lacked you know what.

 

JHoney: FINE! but this’ll be the last time! i’m bruised all over!

 

WhaleMin: YAY!!!! love youuuuu

 

Ki.HamD: i do NOT want to know about your weird kinks. fuck off.

 

ShoBearNu: ….

ShoBearNu: anyway, see you all at 9.

ShoBearNu: kyun?

 

kkukkung: i’ll be probably late. i’m going to the hospital first.

 

JHoney: jeonghan?

 

kkukkung: yeah.

 

 

 

 

*******

 

 

 

 

 


	87. Eighty Seven

“ but promise you’ll be easy on them? i was just angry talking when i said those things. “ hyungwon said as he continued unpacking.

 

“ there’s no such thing as angry talking hyungwon. you wouldn’t have said it if there wasn’t a reason behind it. “ wonho said as he ruffled his hair with the towel, walking out of the bathroom.

 

“ yeah, but… it wasn’t to the degree i made it look. jooheon and kyun visited every second day. min called me every day. shownu and kihyun messaged every day as well. they weren’t gone gone you know “ he said as he stood up and walked to wonho, getting the towel from him to dry the black strands himself, knowing that it would calm the other’s nerves.

 

“ but did they ask you how you were doing? “ wonho asked as he looked into his eyes.

“ min did… “ hyungwon answered quietly as he bit his cheek.

“ min has too much love in his heart, he gives it to everybody. i would be shocked if he didn’t care for you. “wonho said as he took hyungwon’s hands in his and rubbed his thumbs on them.

“ look, i’m not looking for a fight. we’re all grown-ups. we’re just gonna talk. there’s nothing for you to worry about. really. “ the older leaned in and pressed his lips on the plump ones. the sound of the bell stopped them.

 

“ oh god, they’re here. they’re gonna kill us for ignoring them won! what are we gonna do? “ hyungwon was panicking as he looked at his boyfriend with a perplexed look.

wonho laughed as he spanked the younger male. “ don’t worry. they’re my friends. they’re used to getting ignored. go let them in while i get dressed. “

 

hyungwon actually felt guilty for causing this whole mess. if he hadn’t said anything none of this drama would have happened and therefore he wouldn’t be so god damn nervous about how to confront them after having ignored their calls and messages for days. there had been times he wanted to just reply to them but then again he didn’t wanna go behind wonho’s back.

 

walking to the door, he opened it and was attacked by minhyuk hugging him instantly.

“ my koala, i missed youuu. you okay? why didn’t you answer my calls? the only reason i didn’t track you down was that i knew you two were okay. you’ve gained some weight i see. it’s looking good on you. “ he ranted as he squeezed hyungwon in his arms. he hugged back and giggled at the nonstop words that came out of the latter’s mouth, throwing questions at him without giving him a chance to reply.

 

“ where’s he? where’s that asshole? i’m gonna beat the shit out of him. “ jooheon said with a deep frown on his face, making his eyes almost disappear. he looked intimidating like that although hyungwon knew he was basically one of the sweetest people ever.

“ uh,… he’s.. “ hyungwon leaned back from the hug and pointed at the bedroom. jooheon didn’t wait for him to say that the older was getting dressed and just stormed off to the room.

“ won’s naked. do you think joo will scream? “ he asked minhyuk with a smirk.

“ nah, they’ve seen everything there is to see. “ the latter answered laughing as he closed the door and walked inside.

“ wonnie, we were really worried. why didn’t you guys answer our calls? “ minhyuk said as he put the wine they had brought on the kitchen counter.

“ min, i messed up. i got angry at won and then said i was left all alone and then he held some kind of a grudge against you guys i guess. “ he sighed and sat on one of the chairs by the counter.

“ well…. i mean, you weren’t completely wrong there. ki went completely MIA, which i will bite his head of for as soon as he gets here, that brat. as for shownu.. i don’t even know why he got himself that busy all of a sudden! it was so unlike him to act like that. and kyun… he’s just a hot-headed kid. he was too caught up hating hoseok’s ass that i’m sure he didn’t stop to wonder how you were doing. so what i’m saying is that you are entitled to feel a bit abandoned. “ minhyuk said as he got two crystal glasses from the mini bar and poured some wine for the both of them, sliding one of the glasses on the counter to hyungwon.

“ i’m not gonna lie. i did feel alone. to the point i actually considered calling my parents and asking them to come here for a while but… i don’t wanna be insensitive. everyone has their own coping mechanism. i don’t know about others but shownu got himself busy to be able to deal with all of this. he even went on and got himself a date to help distract him more. i don’t really blame him. or any of you. “ he said taking a sip of the wine. it tasted amazing.

“ shownu is dating someone?!!! WHO?! why do i not know about this! this is IMPORTANT news! “ minhyuk practically screamed the words but before he had the time to answer, they were distracted by the sound of wonho’s pleas for jooheon to stop hitting him.

 

 

 

 

 

wonho was putting his shirt on when he heard fast footsteps and two arms wrapped around him from behind tightly. he knew this way of hugging by heart by now. jooheon had back-hugged him like this whenever he was really stressed.

he put his hands on jooheon’s patting them lightly and waiting for the other to calm down. they stayed like that silently for a few minutes with jooheon resting his forehead on his shoulder as he held him as tight as he could.

“ you bastard “ he heard his best friend whisper before the arms unwrapped and the latter started punching him.

“ you fucking bastard “

“ do you know how scared i was? i thought i lost you for good.” he tried running away but joo would just run after him and attack him wherever he went.

“ joo, stop. ouch ! stop man! violence isn’t the answer. “ he shouted between his screams in pain. ( well it wasn’t that painful but he had to exaggerate for the other to stop! )

“ violence isn’t the answer but ignoring the fuck out of your friends is? what kind of shitty logic is that? “ he got hit once again, this time really hard.

“ it wasn’t cool man. you got us worried. if it wasn’t for your paparazzi fans taking pictures we wouldn’t even know whether you were alive. “ jooheon stopped and looked at him like he had betrayed the whole country.

wonho grabbed both of his wrists to prevent him from further punches.

“ do you really think i would have ignored you if i didn’t know the fans would update 24/7? i am an asshole but not to that extent! i just… i needed to show hyungwon that he is my priority. you know how fragile he can be sometimes. plus, i was really mad at them for not being there for him. won said you visited often. thank you. “

“ well, i did what i could. by the way, they sent jongup to tokyo for some messed up situation. he got updates on you every day from me. “ jooheon said as he was about to sit on the edge of the bed.

“ WOAH! “ wonho nearly shouted as he stopped jooheon. “ no sitting on the bed with dirty clothes, remember?! “

jooheon was looking at him like he was an alien as he blinked repeatedly.

“ yeah yeah “ he said as he nodded his head mocking him. “ you and your OCD for bed sheets. “ he grinned and started walking out of the room. wonho followed him.

minhyuk and hyungwon were sitting by the counter, drinking wine.

“ hyungwon, there’s something i’m really curious about. “ jooheon said as he sat beside the latter. wonho was standing a bit away cuz there was wine there and he preferred not drinking but it was safer to stay away cuz wine always attracts him. his boyfriend took a sip as he hummed in question.

“ does he force you to get up and shower right after you finish fucking because your bodies are ‘dirty’ ? “

minhyuk burst out laughing as hyungwon choked on his drink and started coughing. wonho walked towards them, took the glass out of his boyfriend’s hand and put it on the counter before he started patting his back.

“ of course i don’t. what do you take me for? “ he hissed at joo who was laughing and enjoying it way too much.

“ well… he doesn’t ask you directly. but he does ask you to have a shower with him if there’s too much cum involved. so, in a way he does ask you to stand up on your feet right after he fucks you to oblivion and honestly, it was torture! “ minhyuk replied enthusiastically and took another sip of his wine, blowing him a kiss.

hyungwon was as red as a tomato and was playing with his sleeves as wonho stood behind him and hugged his shoulders, making him lean back on him.

“ shut up. both of you. i don’t do that to won and now stop. “

before anyone got a chance to say anything further regarding their sex life, the bell rang. wonho squeezed hyungwon’s shoulders once before he walked to the door. it was kihyun and shownu with hands full of bags and containers.

“ did you bring the whole restaurant?! “ he chuckled “ come in “

neither of them said anything and simply walked past him into the apartment.

shownu put the stuff on the counter, turned around and hugged him so tight he was about to throw his lungs up.

wonho patted the older’s back repeatedly. “ woah woah, this is the first time you hug me. “ he teased in order to brighten the mood as it suddenly seemed so gloomy. shownu didn’t say anything and held on him as tightly as he could. a couple of seconds later, he felt a tear on his neck. his eyes widened at the realization that shownu was crying.

“ hey, please! you know i’ll start crying if you cry. i’m okay now, aren’t i? “ he said as he rubbed the older’s back, attempting to calm him down. shownu wasn’t someone who cried often so it was hard for all of them to see his tears.

“ we thought we lost you. for real this time. “ the older said as he leaned back and let go of him, wiping his tears with the tissue kihyun handed him.

“ i’m sorry “he whispered as he smiled bitterly.

“ there’s nothing to be sorry about. it’s just that with hyungwon being there, i thought you’d finally be stable so it really caught me off guard. i was expecting you to be happy, not.. to be pressured to the point that someone else had to take over. “ shownu said ruffling his hair.

“ i still don’t know what caused me to break though. “ he pursed his lips and shrugged “ anyway, what did you bring us mom ? “ he asked kihyun with a nasty smile knowing the latter hates getting called ‘mom’

the room went silent for a second like everybody was frozen before kihyun talked.

“ fuck you. “ he earned himself yet another punch. “ but come here. “ the latter said as he hugged him as well. thankfully not as strong as shownu had but still tight.

“ i swear to god, i’m gonna end up crying a river tonight if ya’ll keep this up. “

 

“ did you two come together? “ minhyuk asked as soon as they were apart.

“ no, i bumped into him in the parking lot. thankfully! cuz there was no way i could’ve brought all of this up by myself. “ kihyun said sorting the containers out.

all of them started chattering about this and that. they told wonho about all the things he had missed. shownu and jooheon about the company’s tea, minhyuk about this new program he wrote that wonho didn’t understand anything about, and kihyun kept making them taste the food he was making. hyungwon and minhyuk started playing games at one point, shownu was helping kihyun with the food and joo was playing him the new song he made, asking for his opinion on a few bars.

 

“ is my little brother not coming?! it’s almost 11! “ wonho asked as he was terribly missing the little brat.

“ uh,,, he was at the hospital. texted me about 30 minutes ago saying he was on his way. “ jooheon replied not looking away from the game.

“ why was he at a hospital?! “ he nearly panicked thinking he was hurt or something.

“ to visit jeonghan. “ his friend simply answered.

“ the long haired boy, jeonghan?! “ he looked at hyungwon who was sitting between his legs, leaning on his chest on the sofa. “ but why? “

“ they became friends while we visited you, not you, hoseok. wait, was it you we visited or him? ugh i don’t know. anyway, the boy is really lonely and kyun enjoys being around him and i quote that! “ joo said tilting his head and looking confused.

he didn’t quite understand it but decided his brother was old enough to choose his friends. the mention of the other boy’s name reminded him of the way he had looked at him. that look, that sad look in his eyes, didn’t seem to leave him alone. he wanted to talk to jeonghan but he didn’t wanna risk upsetting his boyfriend.

feeling the younger’s eyes on him, he looked down and met those big eyes, looking at him with an unreadable expression. wonho smiled at him and placed a kiss on his forehead. hyungwon kept looking at him a couple seconds more before looking back at the screen.

 

just when they were about to start dinner, changkyun arrived. he stood there staring at him with his wolf like eyes without saying a word. as much as he wanted to let the younger dig that hole he seemed to want to put on his head with that gaze, he had missed him too much so he was the one who took the steps forward and squeezed his brother in his arms. changkyun didn’t even hesitate as he hugged back eagerly.

“ if you do this one more time, if you ignore me again, i’m gonna hate you for the rest of my life. “ the younger mumbled into the hug as he tightened his hands.

“ understood. “ he chuckled and ruffled the boy’s hair which had the latter letting go of him and push him away.

“ stop. i’m serious. you nearly died so many times and put me through so much trauma. i don’t deserve being ignored like that hyung. i didn’t do anything wrong for you to treat me like that. “ changkyun literally snapped at him as he shouted.

the room went completely quiet as everyone was watching the two of them.

wonho looked at the younger with a slight frown and a serious expression.

“ you’re upset i ignored you for five days? why did you ignore hyungwon for 5 months then? “ he simply said like it was facts, no anger in his voice what so ever.

“ let’s eat. we’ll talk about it after dinner. “ wonho said walking to the living room where the others were already sitting and sat beside hyungwon.

“ i don’t know what you’re talking about. i visited the hospital every second day. i didn’t ignore him. as much as i love you, don’t you think you gave him the wrong info? that you’re being unfair? “ changkyun asked looking at hyungwon.

“ yes, i actually did give him the wrong info and i told him about it. and yes, you visited several times a week. for wonho and jeonghan. “ hyungwon replied and smiled one of his smiles that actually looked like a threat combined with the look in his eyes.

“ what do you mean? i met you on each day! “ his brother defended himself, voice still a bit high.

“ yes you did. you did say ‘ hi, where is he ’ every time you came. “ he replied calmly and sighed right after.

“ look, the point is, i have no one. my life was dedicated to lili so i never bothered making friends and the ones i have are our mutuals who i don’t talk to right now. you guys always told me to hang out when wonho was away and that i am your friend regardless of him being there or not. people usually need others in these kinds of situations. someone who pats them on the shoulder and says ‘hey, everything’s gonna be alright.’ or just someone who sits beside them and they don’t say anything. just them being there is enough. but i was left completely alone. now i don’t hold any grudge. the past is the past and i’m happy we’re all here together right now but i just wanted to make this clear on my side so that we’ll get over with it. fact is, we all would have a much easier time dealing with it if we had stuck together. but everyone has their own coping strategy and i understand wanting to be alone and away than face it. it’s completely understandable to me and i shouldn’t have said that about you.now that we’re clear about me and the fact that i’m not upset with any of you, let’s just talk about you guys because the tension in this room is actually suffocating me and you’re all just avoiding ‘the talk’ “ hyungwon said and looked at each one of them briefly with wide eyes and a small smile on his face, expecting them to start talking.

moments like this, when hyungwon appeared so wise and like he was the oldest among them, was so hot to wonho. he felt so proud that out of all people hyungwon had decided to love him.

 

shownu was the first one to break the silence.

“ i…’m sorry hyungwon. i should’ve stuck around. it’s just that, i don’t know, i couldn’t even think about the situation. i tried everything to keep myself so busy that i didn’t have time to think and worked myself to the point that i would just pass out from exhaustion. the least i could’ve done was to text you and ask you how you were doing but i guess i was just too busy trying to silence my pain that i forgot to consider yours. i’m really sorry.”

hyungwon smiled wide at him and they ‘bro’ shook hands.

“ thank you for saying that. i appreciate it. “ he paused and looked at kihyun and minhyuk who haven’t talked to each other all night apart from the greeting. raising an eyebrow, he looked at them expectantly.

“ what? “ minhyuk said

“ you know what. why are you two acting so weird? aren’t you supposed to be best friends or something?! “ hyungwon said crossing his arms on his chest and leaning back on wonho who was sitting next to him.

“ i thought so too but then apparently not. “ min replied

“ what’s that supposed to mean? “ kihyun asked laughing

“ don’t you dare try to escape it too kihyun. where the hell have you been this whole damn time? everyone was somewhat around or atlas we knew what they were up to, but you just disappeared. “ minhyuk emptied all his anger to the shorter man.

wonho looked at changkyun who was still standing quietly, looking at his feet or something. calling his name, he told the younger to come sit next to him but changkyun betrayed him and sat next to hyungwon, circling his arms around him and burying his head in the crook of his neck. his boyfriend circled one of his arms around the younger as well.

“ i had my own reasons, okay? i’m sorry for bailing on you hyungwon but… my life became totally messed up for a while and i had to take care of so many things all at once. can we eat now? the food is already cold. “ kihyun said as he gestured toward the neglected food. minhyuk narrowed his eyes and was about to say something when shownu cut him off.

“ yeah let’s start. i’m starving. “

as if on cue, everyone grabbed their plates and filled them with the food they wanted. all except two. changkyun who was still clinging on hyungwon and the latter who couldn’t move because of the wolf hanging on him.

“ let’s eat kkukkung. how was jeonghan? is he doing okay? “ hyungwon asked him as he patted his fluffy hair.

“ i’m sorry hyung. i didn’t look at it from your perspective at all. i was just thinking about myself and how alone and miserable i felt. i was being so selfish.. “ the younger mumbled into hyungwon’s neck which made him tilt his head and shoulder and giggle.

“ don’t speak into my neck. it’s ticklish. “ he giggled again “ it’s okay. really. if you look at it correctly, i didn’t approach you either. these things are supposed to be two-sided. i can’t put all the blame on you. “

with that changkyun leaned back and looked into hyungwon’s eyes.

“ you’re the best hyung. seriously! you are the bestest and my brother doesn’t deserve you at all. “ he stuck his tongue out at wonho who was chewing on his food and adoring the hell out of these two’s interaction.

“ yeah i don’t deserve him and i know that. now let go of him and start eating and let your bestest hyung eat his favorite shrimp as well. “

 

 

they ate their food while talking. jooheon and minhyuk were putting food in each other’s mouths which was completely unnecessary as both of them had tow fully functioning hands, making everyone cringe. soon, every little tension was forgotten and even minhyuk and kihyun started laughing at shown’s dad jokes together, teaming up and teasing the hell out of changkyun, making him pout and hyungwon just enjoyed his food quite vocally, calling kihyun the god of shrimps over and over again, praising him for his cooking. changkyun was texting through the whole meal and afterwards which was a new thing because he was one of those ‘ be in the moment- don’t use your phone while you’re with others.’ kind of people.

 

after they were done eating and was sitting with their very tasty tea that kihyun had brought, the mentioned guy cleared his throat, announcing that he had something to tell them.

“ there’s something i need to tell you guys. uh…. “ he paused and bit on his bottom lip, looking hesitant. “ i’m becoming a father. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> have you watched 'we are here' teaser?! i can't wait!! it looks so lit! i LOVED the TEASER!


	88. Eighty eight

“ i’m becoming a father. “

 

 

no-one said anything. they all just sat there, staring at him with their eyes as wide as they could get and their lips parted in confusion.

“ you’re kidding, right?! “ jooheon asked, gesturing his hand in ‘time time’ movement he did often.

kihyun shook his head and bit his lips again.

“ well, wha-, who- ha?! “ minhyuk seemed to want to ask questions but couldn’t make the sentences.

“ you know my assistant boyoung, right? well… she’s the mother. we’ve had feelings for each other for quite a while now but none of us said anything until… this one night we kind of got drunk and you know the rest. we started officially dating after that but when i was about to tell you, wonho’s situation happened and then one week after hoseok came around, she told me she was pregnant. at first, we decided to, um, you know, abort, but then, none of us could get through it. we even went to the clinic but canceled the moment she was about to go in. “

“ you’re seriously becoming a father? like… for real?! a FATHER?! “ changkyun asked furiously.

“ yeah… i guess i am… “ he chuckled nervously and looked down at his fingers that were playing with each other.

“ she must be in her 5-6th month? right? “ wonho asked, hugging hyungwon tightly from behind as his eyes sparkled with excitement. he’s always been whipped for kids. kihyun nodded without looking up.

“ so? boy or girl??? “ he almost screamed with how high his voice was.

“ it’s a girl “ kihyun smiled brightly as he replied, looking up at the older who squealed and jumped up, ran to him, kneeled in front of him and hugged him as tight as he could.

“ i’m so happy for you ki. we’re gonna have a little adorable princess running around. “ he said as he felt tears gathering in his eyes. kihyun was someone who never showed any interest in anyone and that’s when it suddenly hit him and his blood froze as he leaned back and looked at kihyun terrified.

“ but… do you love her? or are you just being together for the baby? “ he hesitated while letting each word out.

kihyun chuckled and punched his shoulder lightly “ of course i love her dumbass. i wouldn’t sleep with her if i didn’t. she’s the cutest. you’re gonna love her. “ there was so much passion pouring out of his words and his eyes that wonho couldn’t help but break into happy tears for his friend as he hugged him again.

“ i’m sorry, these are happy tears. “ he said with his shaky voice as they all laughed at him.

“ but ki… your parents…”shownu started and was cut by minhyuk “ are they okay with this whole thing? they’re so conservative… “

“ they were not actually. they were this close to murder me but that’s when the next big news comes. we’ve been busy arranging everything and you’re all invited to my wedding next weekend. “

 

again, no one said anything. they were all looking at kihyun with their eyes so wide, their eyeballs could pop out any second.

changkyun and minhyuk looked at each other and both let out a very high note noise that had the rest of them bringing their palms to their ears and wince at the frequency of it as the two hyper men/children jumped up, hugged each other before running to kihyun, literally throwing wonho to the side and squeezing him between themselves.

“ you’re really an adult now. i can’t believe it. i’m a proud father. “ minhyuk exaggerated as he rubbed his head to kihyun’s chest.

“ hey! you’re not married nor are you having any kids and YOU are the proud FatHer? if anyone’s a father here, then that’s me! “ kihyun said as he flicked the two ( annoying/lovely ) ’s foreheads and had them let go of him with a big laugh.

and then not even a second later his whole face fell.

“ oh my god… guys… “

kihyun said and everyone stopped their laughter and looked at him in worry.

“ i’m gonna be a father. oh fuck! IM GONNA BE AN ACTUAL FATHER! what do i do? i don’t know the first thing about kids! oh my god i’m gonna be a horrible father! “ his breathing pattern got messed up as he seemed really close to a panic attack.

hyungwon jumped up and sat beside him, having changkyun move aside. he started rubbing kihyun’s back as he told him to follow his lead in breathing in and out. not three minutes later kihyun was calm again with hyungwon’s help.

“ i know this came to you when you didn’t expect it at all but it’s here now. she, your cute baby, and your soon to be wife are with you now. and i know you kihyun. you’re a very kind and caring person. you’re gonna score the father AND the husband role. you love them both, don’t you? “ hyungwon said with a warm tone as he kept on rubbing soothing patterns on the latter’s back.

“ i love them. i love them so much. i couldn’t stop crying when we heard her heartbeat. i cried longer than boyoung. “ kihyun laughed with his eyes full of tears saying that.

hyungwon chuckled as he looked at him. “ there’s no need to be afraid. there’s still time to learn. i believe you’re already going to those classes they have for new parents? “

kihyun nodded at the question.

“ amazing. you’ll learn all the essentials by the time the princess comes and we’re all gonna be there to help you. something tells me we won’t be able to get wonho and minhyuk out of your house anymore. “ he laughed as he looked back at wonho who was just looking at him with all the love there was in the world. the older just smiled at him and sniffled.

“ let’s go shopping tomorrow then. all of us. wonho has to help me pick a suit. “ shownu said excitedly as he smiled so wide his eyes disappeared.

wonho noticed jooheon had been silent this whole time and turned around to see what was the reason. just as he had expected, jooheon was sitting there, silently crying tears as he pouted deeply, looking at them.

when jooheon noticed wonho who was approaching him, he stood up and hugged him. “ i love us “ he said in such a spoiled tone that broke everyone’s teary state into loud laughter.

 

seconds later, everyone joined them and they group hugged for minutes. they were a damn good group of friends.

 

after a while, when they were all calm and composed again, shownu cleared his throat.

“ i have to tell you something as well. i’m not a father or a husband but i’ve been seeing someone. actually, you know her. jieun. “

 

“ ji?! you’re dating ji?! “ wonho screamed yet again from where he was, wrapped around hyungwon’s arms.

“ you call jieun unni, ji?! “ changkyun asked his brother in disbelief.

“ well yeah! we’re pals! “ the older replied, shrugging and looking back at shownu.

“ hmm, we met through tinder. actually, i wasn’t expecting much, because well, it’s tinder we’re talking about, but she’s a great woman. she’s just so passionate about her work and the patients. she’s so busy but always finds time to go out with me. i just can’t wait for us all to hang out and let our girls get to know each other as well. i’m sure they’ll become good friends. “

 

“ wow! i’ve never heard shownu talk so much! he must really like her! “ minhyuk teased the older and they all laughed and decided to have a gathering with the two new people in their lives soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

it was 3AM when the boys left. normally they’d stay the night but as they were going to meet tomorrow to go shopping and stuff, they decided it’s best to sleep at their own places.

wonho pinned hyungwon to the wall as soon as they were alone. he would have kissed the soul out of his gorgeous boyfriend sooner but he knew the other was super shy when it came to those acts and didn’t wanna put him in an uncomfortable position.

pausing the kiss, he looked deeply into those big eyes that were looking back at him in surprise.

“ what?! “ hyungwon giggled and pecked his lips again, leaning back against the wall he was pinned to and imprisoned between two muscular arms at each side of his head.

“ i just love you so freaking much. “ wonho said, not able to tear his eyes away from him. the way he had comforted kihyun, made him sure that everything would be just fine had been so damn hot. not in a sexual way, in a ‘ how can you be so damn perfect ‘ kind of way.

“ i love you too baby. can we take this to bed though? i really wanna lay down. my back is killing me. “ hyungwon said caressing the older’s cheek with the back of his hand and placing a quick kiss on his nose.

the younger took one of wonho’s wrists and took the palm to his lips as he kissed it before intertwining their fingers and making the other follow him to their bedroom.

they washed up, wonho dried his lover’s hair with a tower while he sat on the stones next to the sink.

 

“ lay on your stomach. “ the older told hyungwon as they got into the bed.

the latter followed and let his head rest on his arms. he didn’t even need to ask to know wonho was going to give him a massage.

the older moved and placed each of his thighs on either side of his thighs as he started massaging him, starting from his neck, to his shoulders, downward.

 

they were silent. wonho focused on the way his fingers moved and hyungwon deep in his own thoughts.

“ wonho… “he called and the other hummed.

“ why didn’t you and min hug tonight? you know, when everyone was hugging you…” he was talking slowly and in a quiet tone.

“ why do you ask? “ the older said with the same tone as he continued massaging him.

“ i just don’t want you to avoid each other because of me. i’m not gonna make a fuss out of a hug. “

wonho’s hands stopped as the older tilted his body to the side to be able to maintain eye contact with him. hyungwon turned his eyes to the side as well so that they could look at each other in that position.

“ it’s not because of you baby. why are you so precious? “ wonho said in the softest tone as he brushed hyungwon’s hair out of his eye.

“ then why? everyone hugged each other, everyone hugged you except min. “ hyungwon said as he turned around slowly, making wonho to rearrange himself and move in between his legs.

“ it’s not that easy… “ the older said as he let his fingers run up and down on his boyfriend’s lean thighs.

“ we used to be together hyungwon. meaning, we’ve been close and jooheon had been there, seeing and hearing us going at it. he might not show it but he really hates it if minhyuk’s attention gets divided. i’m sure minhyuk didn’t hug me because he didn’t wanna risk upsetting joo. he’s as much whipped for the honeybee as i am for you. “ wonho explained as he wrapped the younger’s legs around his waist and leaned down until their faces were just a few inches away.

“ What do you say we buy some curtains for our bed tomorrow? i really loved the shadows they made on your flawless skin, defining every shape and line on your beautiful body. “ he whispered as his hands caressed the fragile skin carefully and in a feather-like touch.

hyungwon bit his lip and arched his back as he kept looking at him and circled his slim fingers around the muscular biceps.

“ i say that’s a brilliant idea. “

wonho smiled at his lover genuinely and pressed their lips together once again. the younger melted right away and let his hands travel to the black strands of hair, bringing him even closer.

 

“ thank you for loving me. “ wonho whispered into his ear just before the dreamland took over them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway, are ya'll ready to say goodbye to these boys soon?


	89. Eighty Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a looong photo chapter. you can skip if you want.
> 
> p.s.: i only pay attention to hyungwonho's hair color! it's impossible to just match them all.

 

 

 

 

 

 (fan cafe)

 

 **WonHo** : 

 **** ( hair is pink! )

all i asked was for him to do 100 push-ups! 

**comments:**

**H.One:**

****

 

**

**WonHo:**

feeling like myself again.

**comments:**

**H.One:**

****

**fan:** get yourself a boyfriend who will comment on your posts with your own memes.

 

 

***********

 

 

(instagram)

 

 

 

**WonHo**

  

**2,938,930 likes       849,540 comments**

picked lil bro up. gonna make him wear the suit and tie he hates so much ^^

 

 **Ki.HamD:**  i’m gonna end him if he doesn’t wear formally ^^

 **WonHo: @Ki.HamD**  you and me both ^^

 **JHoney: @Ki.HamD @WonHo**  leave my child alone >.<

 

 

**

 

 

**JHoney**

****

**41,340 likes       1384 comments**

swag B)

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** dab dab

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** where are you… :(

 **WhaleMin** **: @JHoney** a meeting came up. Omw :*

 **Ki.HamD: @WhaleMin @JHoney** gross  <_>

 **WhaleMin** **: @Ki.HamD** sorry DADDY! 

 **Ki.HamD:** where is hyungwon when i need him… 

 

 

**

 

**kkukkung**

****

**280 likes    48 comments**

we got ditched by a bee and a turtle! their loss! we had iced coffee :)

 

 **H.One:**  HOW DARE YOU HAVE ICED COFFEE WITHOUT ME!

 **kkukkung: @H.One** you shouldn't have ditched us then ^^

 **H.One: **@ **kkukkung****** WE JUST WENT TO GET MIN!

 **kkukkung: @H.One** he is a grown man. i'm sure he could find the way on his own.

 **H.One: **@ **kkukkung****** you had iced coffee without me... :'(

 **WonHo: @H.One**  i got you one baby dw ^^

 **H.One: @WonHo**  best boyfriend EVER!

 **WonHo: @H.One** just by a coffee? you're easy to satisfy! 

 **H.One: @WonHo** not just any coffee babe.  I C E D COFFEE

 **WonHo: @H.One**  i know baby. come fast before the ice melts

 **H.One: @WonHo** coming

 **kkukkung: @H.One **@WonHo**  **it's social media. don't update your sexual records here.

 **H.One: **@ **kkukkung****** stfu!!!!!!

 **kkukkung: @H.One** ^^

 

 

 

**

 

**WonHo**

**3,637,950 likes      734,487 comments**

gave them food before dragging them to every mall in the city :))

 

 **kkukkung** **:** it's only been an hour and i already hate everything.

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** shush

 **kkukkung** **: @WonHo** what was wrong with the suits we saw at the first gallery??

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** they were ugly.

 **WhaleMin** **: @kkukkung** they were ugly.

 **H.One: @kkukkung** they were ugly.

 **kkukkung** **:** i hate ya'll.

 

**

**ShoBearNu**

**25,847 likes      1,400 comments**

couldn't decide between two options wonho chose for me, so i asked for her opinion.

 

 **H.One:** whipped culture

 **JHoney: @H.One** right?! lmao! hyung was like oh jieun this oh jieun that. jieun what do u think about this? he's W H I P P E D :v 

 **WonHo:** you and ji are so cute together. my pals :')

 **WhaleMin** **:** omg their height difference! so freaking CUTEEEE!!! i'm squeaking!! 

 **ShoBearNu: @WhaleMin** thank you and now stop making unnecessary noises!

 **kkukkung** **:** i love jieun so much!! she even shared her playlist with me and OMG WE HAVE THE SAME TASTE IN MUSIC!

 **JHoney: @kkukkung** she blew my mind away with that playlist! tressure her @ShoBearNu !

 **Ki.HamD:** can't wait for both of them to meet!

 

**

 

**Ki.HamD**

**21,748 likes     2,840 comments**

asked her to join us for lunch. went to an open-door restaurant. min and bo turned it into a water gun fight!

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** I LOVE HER!

 **Ki.HamD: @WhaleMin** yeah. i guess we all know that by now :D

 **WonHo:** she is an actual angel. so happy for you ki!

 **ShoBearNu:** i'm glad they got along well ^^

 **Ki.HamD: @Ki.HamD** i knew they would. they're both so amazing ^^

 **kkukkung** **:** and then they ditched us to go have their girls' time -_-

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** you're just bitter that you're the only single one ^^

 **kkukkung** **: @WonHo** :))

 

**

 

**H.One**

**398,438 likes     5825 comments**

so...karaoke was fun!

 

 **WonHo:** all of you betrayed me. how could you stand and watch while they attacked me?

 **H.One: @WonHo**  i'm sorry :( it was too fun to watch :((

 **WonHo: @H.One** you're sleeping on the couch.

 **WonHo: @H.One** for a week.

 **H.One: @WonHo** you sure?

 **WonHo: @H.One** no baby. ily ❤

 **H.One: @WonHo** :D 

 

**

 

**Ki.HamD**

**34,348 likes       2849 comments**

missed this..

 

 

 **JHoney:** lies... you ditched us the moment wifey appeared!

 **WonHo: @JHoney** ikr!!! the disrespect!!

 **Ki.HamD: @JHoney @WonHo** are any of you carrying M Y baby? no? then shut up.

 

 

**

 

**ShoBearNu**

**69,083 likes       2,439 comments**

but do we really need a baby in this group when we have a whole wonho?

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** bunnyyyyy

 **H.One:** my HEART! please send me this! gonna frame it! LOOK HOW CUTE!

 **ShoBearNu: @H.One** sent ;) 

 **Ki.HamD:** i won't be able to throw him out of my house, will i? -_-

 **WonHo: @Ki.HamD** nope :D

 **JHoney:** lmfao why bro  **@WonHo**

 **WonHo: @JHoney** bro! idk bro! i just did what my head told me to :p

 **Ki.HamD: @WonHo** what about not listening to whatever your head says?

 **ShoBearNu: @Ki.HamD** why? it's cute.

 **WonHo: @ShoBearNu** love you ^^

 **Ki.HamD: @ShoBearNu** don't spoil him.

 **kkukkung** **: @Ki.HamD** look at you being all father like ^^

 **H.One: @WonHo**  loves me more.

 **Ki.HamD: @kkukkung** stop talking with a full mouth.

 **WonHo: @H.One** i love you the most ❤

 

 

**

 

**WonHo**

  

**3,123,983 likes        1,234,875 comments**

a group of dancers + kkukkung! 

 

 **kkukkung** **:** omg i hate using my body in those torturous moves. leave me alone.

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** baka

 **JHoney: @kkukkung** it's okay. you use your brain instead ^^

 **kkukkung: @JHoney** honey hyung ♡ :(  

 

**

 

 

**WhaleMin**

**45,457 likes    2,334 comments**

you mean to tell me THIS guy is about to marry AND become a father?!

 

 **Ki.HamD:** DELETE!

 **WhaleMin** **: @Ki.HamD** bite me ^^

 **Ki.HamD: @WhaleMin** oh believe me i will if you do not d e l e t e

 **JHoney:** what sorcerry is this

 **WhaleMin** **: @JHoney** this is the power of alcohol babe :v 

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** babe :v 

 **H.One: @WhaleMin @JHoney** :v 

 **Ki.HamD: @H.One** you wore it too. what are you :v-ing for?!

 **H.One: @Ki.HamD** there is no evidence therefore i didn't.

 **WonHo: @H.One** um...

 **H.One: @WonHo** NO YOU DIDNT!

 **WonHo: @H.One** :)))

 

********

(fan cafe)

 

**WonHo:**

hyungwon doo doo doro doro kihyun doo doo doro doro

**comments:**

H.One: pfft! please!

 

WonHo: aw ^^

 

 

*******

 

**WhaleMin**

**41,489 likes     1,284 comments**

going to a cat café was wrong...

 

 **JHoney:** these are OUR KIDS you are talking about lee minhyuk.

 **WhaleMin** **: @JHoney** but baby! who's gonna take care of them while we're out?

 **JHoney: @Whalemin** kyun! duh!

 **kkukkung** **:** guess i'll be taking care of them then... -_-

 

**

 

**JHoney:**

**75,349 likes     3,483 comments**

went out to buy clothes. came home with two cute little kittens ^^

 

 **H.One:** is that yoshi or gucci?

 **Ki.HamD: @H.One** that's yoshi

 **WhaleMin** **:** i don't think i can ever tell them apart!

 **Ki.HamD: @WhaleMin** shut up! they're so cute and loveable. i still like dogs more tho.

 **H.One: @Ki.HamD** just love both!

 **WhaleMin** **: @H.One** you couldn't suggest going to a dog cafe, could you?! -_-

 **H.One: @WhaleMin** omg min. stop it already! they're gonna be with him at his studio anyway!

 **WhaleMin** **: @H.One** well yeah! they're gonna REPLACE me! :'( 

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** oh baby i love you more than all the cats in the world :*

 

**

 

**WhaleMin**

**54,843 likes     6,390 comments**

bought a couple of more whales. today was fun ^^

 

 **JHoney:** soon our house will be filled with whales, it will barely have space for us!

 **WhaleMin** **: @JHoney** yeah, and?

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** and? you had that whale plushie already! why buy another one?

 **WhaleMin: @JHoney** because?i? love? whales? and your kids already stole the old one -_-

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** our. OUR kids.

 **WhaleMin: @JHoney** eh whatever.

 

**

 

**H.One**

**53,194 likes      2,384 comments**

thought this was a bunny all my life. turns out it's a piglet!

 

 **JHoney: @WonHo** can you believe they ditched us?!

 **WonHo: @JHoney** i'm too shocked i can't even tpye!

 **kkukkung** **:** the amount of 'ditching' today :D they even took similar pictures! bff goals! :D

 **ShoBearNu:** this friendship is so rare and beautiful!

 **Ki.HamD:** remind me again why i'm the first one to be a father while there is shownu!?

 **WhaleMin** **: @Ki.HamD** do you really need me to remind you of what happened on worldwide internet?

 **Ki.HamD: @WhaleMin** do shut up please!

 

***********

**MX squad**

 

 

 **kkukkung:** i had a hard time today.

 

 **WonHo:** why?!

 

 **kkukkung** **:** because:

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** omg! you saw them too? they were kissing ALL the time!

 

 **JHoney:** and then he calls US gross!

 

 **ShoBearNu:** wait, i got one too!

**ShoBearNu:** it's from earlier when she and ji dropped by to give us snacks!

 

 **H.One:** you mean when they came to check whether we had strippers for the 'bachelor party' or not.

 

 **WonHo:** omg was that what it was? lol, i thought it was weird to come all the way to give us 'snacks' !

 

 **Ki** **.HamD** **:** wait, how do you know?!

 **Ki.HamD:** also, kyun, please stop acting like a virgin! and joo, you and min are seriously gross when you're eating each other's face!

 

 **H.One:** it was obvious! how can you not know?! their body language was screaming 'we're lying'

 

 **ShoBearNu:** we didn't really notice... maybe that's because you studied these things.

 **ShoBearNu:** do they not trust us?

 

 **Ki.HamD:** my question as well! does bo really think i'm a stripper kind of guy?!

 

 **H.One:** first of all, don't put shame on strippers. that's a job like any other.

 **H.One:** second, what do you both expect? they don't know you that much. takes time to trust someone fully. and that trust can still be broken after years of relationship.

 

 **Ki.HamD:** they could ask instead of going all detective on us!

 

 **H.One:** ask? ' oh btw are you having strippers over tonight? '

 **H.One:** do you think anyone who does, says the truth to their girlfriend?! no!

 

 **WonHo:** look at my sexy doctor being all delicious!

 

 **Ki** **.HamD** **:** .. guess you're right.. but still..

 

 **H.One:** make up your mind about your opinion on my 'doctoral' side won!

 

 **WonHo:** it's sexy as long as it's not directed at me :D

 

 **ShoBearNu:** i'm just happy we didn't have strippers then!

 

 **Ki.HamD:** when did we ever?!

 

 **JHoney:** that one time for wonho's bday when we were just back from WOD

 

 **Ki.HamD:** oh yeah! i forgot! i think i still have the videos i took :D

 

 **kkukkung** **:** wait! when was this?! why wasn't i there?!

 

 **JHoney:** we didn't know you then and you were underaged anyway.

 

 **H.One:** a stripper? like giving him lap dances and stuff?

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** oh yeah! won was gone, we had to stop him from fucking the femboi!

 

 **H.One:** femboy?! are you into that won?

 

 **WonHo:** i was wasted!!! i don't even remember any of it!

 

 **H.One:** that wasn't my question tho?!

 

 **WonHo:** i don't have a 'type' baby! and it's not like i was in love with him or something. 

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** yes he is into femboys. remember that trainee years back? i caught you staring at him and then you got all nervous because you thought i thought you were into the guy which you were but it was just sexual tension so we ended up having a threesome ^^

 

 **H.One:** a THREESOME?!

 

 **WonHo:** oh jesus! did you really have to say it min?

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** what? what did i say??!

 

 **JHoney:** do it bro! if he wants it you should!

 

 **WonHo:** he doesn't. he just likes pestering me with it. i bet he has a smirk on his face now.

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** i checked and yes he does! :D

 

 **ShoBearNu:** but do you really want it or not hyungwon?

 

 **H.One:** nah. i'd cut whoever's hand touches his body ^^

 

 **kkukkung** **:** oooOOooh kinky ;))

 

 **WonHo:** can't i just come inside and give you one kiss? please????

 

 **H.One:** noup :D

 

 **WonHo:** :(( but you're being all delicious right now and i really need to kiss you :(((

 

 **kkukkung** **:** it's official. my brother gets hard over 'jealousy'

 

 **JHoney:** if you go, i'll go! haven't kissed min all day :(

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** no one's setting foot in this room. we wanna have some private time to ourselves away from our boyfriends. understood? 

 

 **kkukkung** **:** oooOooh bossy ;))

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** OOoooh shut up :))))

 

 **JHoney:** bro??

 

 **WonHo:** let's go bro

 

 **ShoBearNu:** please be gentle. we can hear your screams from here.

 

 **Ki.HamD:** i was on the phone with bo and then suddenly i hear screaming! what happened?

 

 **kkukkung** **:** won and honey went to give their boyfriends some unwanted 'kisses'

 

 **Ki.HamD:** oh lol

 

 **ShoBearNu:** i just hope this doesn't become a foursome

 

 **WonHo:** omg shownu!!!!! hahahahaha

 

 **JHoney:** we're back. that was good. i think i'll sleep now. night night ^^

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** i can't believe what i just observed! hyungwon completely melts at wonho's touch! and they only kissed!!!! why is he so adooorableeee

 **WhaleMin** **:** night joohoney :* dream of me :*

 

 **ShoBearNu:** well wonho is being all giggly and soft here so i think they're both 'adooorableeee'

 

 **Ki.HamD:** i'm gonna sleep too.

 **Ki.HamD:** thanks wonho for you know, helping us choose the outfits. they're perfect!

 

 **WonHo:** you are very welcome. i'm glad you like them ^^

 **WonHo:** i'm just sad ya'll didn't let me buy that dress :(

 

 **ShoBearNu:** it was a woman's dress!

 

 **WonHo:** yeah but it was really beautiful! i could give it to boyoung as a gift :(

 

 **Ki.HamD:** actually, i bought it hehe

 **Ki.HamD:** it was too beautiful to not buy! she'll look perfect in it!

  **Ki.HamD:** ok. gonna faint. ki out.

 

 **ShoBearNu:** shownu out too. i'm seriously tired! night all.

 

 **WonHo:** kyun has fallen asleep as well. i'm all alone out here :( 

 **WonHo:** who am i going to cuddle tonight? no-one... i'm utterly alone :(

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** wonnie and i are cuddling so we're good.

 **WhaleMin** **:** he's asleep too. seriously, how can you take his cuteness!? he's like a baby koala!

 

 **WonHo:** i can't! i die from his cuteness every time!

 **WonHo:** sleep min. i'll go to fan cafe to answer some letters.

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** you know you need sleep like the rest of humanity, right?

 **WhaleMin** **:** sleep! those letters can wait!

 

 **WonHo:** not sleepy and no, they can't. they write them for me to read!

 

 **WhaleMin** **:** why do i even bother... good night won.

 

 

***********

 

(fan cafe)

 

WonHo

good night wonbebe ^^

comments:

H.One:

WonHo: weren't you asleep?

H.One: just woke up

 

**

WonHo: one of our friends is getting married so we went shopping today and then to karaoke.

**

WonHo's reply: yes, hyungwonnie was there too ^^

WonHo's reply: you want his picture? okay, wait ....

**

WonHo:

this is him when he said he wasn't tired after lunch!

comments:

H.One:

this is him when he said he wasn't sleepy after cat cofé!!

**

WonHo:

when he betrayed me and sat in Shownu's car. 

comments:

H.One: ^^

 

**

WonHo:

minhyuk+kihyun's evil doings while he was asleep. he woke up with these on him.( not from today )

comments:

H.One: (not from today )

**

WonHo:

when changkyun tore a poor rose into pieces and he just did this...

comments:

H.One:

**

WonHo: lol, he's replying to them all. cute ^^

**

WonHo's reply: no. he didn't have pink hair all along. he had black before this.

\

comments:

H.One: how?! when did you take it?!

WonHo: ^^

**

WonHo: and then he threw the glass away and became this: 

  

**

WonHo: have you watched him dance? if not, then do! he's really hot!

comments:

H.One:

WonHo: :D stop it!

**

H.One: should i use fan cafe to share your photos with wonbebe? :))

comments:

WonHo: N O

**

H.One: wonbebe, tell him we should adopt a kitten too :(

comments:

WonHo: no, we don't. we don't have time to take care of it.

H.One: :((

**

H.One: i waited for him to reply and when he didn't i went to check on him. found him like this:

H.One: don't wait for his replies anymore cuz he fell asleep. good night^^

 

***********

 

( instagram fan page )

 

i was coming back from work and i looked to the side and aaaaa there he is! wonho!!! in all his glory!!! he was taking to someone on the other side of the street, i didn't catch who it was cuz i was busy dying over him and then he saw me and waved, asking if my knee was better!!! HE REMEMBERED ME FROM THE FAN SIGNS! i told him about my knee injury last time i saw him at a fan sign! i love him soooo much :')

 

**

 

i work at a cartier's branch and today all the guys came in!! i was really about to faint! imagine all of MX there! right in front of your eyes!!! it's been so long since i've seen them together!!!  they're all so freaking hot!!! they all bought something! guys i think kihyun's marrying! our boy is all grown up omg!! and then this happened! wonho and hyungwon were inseperable!!!!!

 

**

 

at this rate i might as well just change my name to hyungwonbebe with how much i see him and update about him!! i saw him today AGAIN! and he looked just as cute, sexy and hot as ever! i seriously envy wonho at this point! lol! what happened here is that they were at this gallery and were trying on many outfits ( i was shopping with my brother ) and he was just sitting there quietly but then got startled from the guard that was standing behind him.

fun fact: they were all set on having matching black suits for this wedding they're going to and were about to buy when wonho suddenly said: no. it's too boring. i'm not feeling it. AND NONE OF THEM SAID ANYTHING. they just nodded and got changed again. it was honestly hilarious! and impressive!

**

 

 

{ the next weekend, the wedding day }

 

**WonHo**

**600,372 likes    3,826 comments**

i didn't spend hours finding what fits you best for you to dump them all and come to the wedding like this shin changkyun!

 

 **H.One:** he looks hella hot tho!

 **JHoney:** my child looks like an adult UwU

 **kkukkung:** i don't do formal suits. i wore a tie. leave me be.

 **Ki.HamD:** not now, but i WILL beat you later.

 **WonHo: @Ki.HamD** i'll help.

 **WhaleMin: @Ki.HamD @WonHo** lmao. he looks good guys. stop it.

 

**

 

**Ki.HamD**

**348,834 likes ****250,902 comments**

****she is the most beautiful girl ever!

 

 **WonHo:** i swear i'm not crying...

 **H.One: @WonHo** you pretty much are baby

 **WhaleMin:** even shownu is crying. how are we, the weaklings, are supposed to hold back!?

 **ShoBearNu:** i just can't believe one of us is marrying

 **JHoney:** now i wanna marry too

 

**

 

**WhaleMin**

**487,928 likes    34,819 comments**

****our groom is here ^^

 

 **WonHo:** i'm so happy boyoung liked my choice! look at how handsome!

 **ShoBearNu: @WonHo** you should seriously consider the fashion industry!

 **WonHo: @ShoBearNu** lol i'm not that good but thanks!

 **JHoney: @WonHo** i've known you for YEARS and i can say that you are THAT good!

 **WonHo: @JHoney** okay, let's focus at the task at hand aka ki's wedding?!

 

**

 

**ShoBearNu**

**468,289 likes    3,291 comments**

i didn't know you could sing so beautifully ♡

 

 **kkukkung:** as i said, the best.

 **JHoney: @kkukkung** can you believe out of all the songs, she sang THAT? an intellectual!

 **H.One:** that was my one of favorite songs!

 **WonHo:** gonna have to collab! lmao! angelic voice!!! i'm speechless!

 

 

 

***********

 

( the photos taken by the photographs at the wedding )

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  

 

  ( didn't find another pic )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent three days on this chapter and i regret nothing :))


	90. Ninety

hyungwon woke up to wonho’s gentle voice calling his name and his soft hand caressing his hair. they were going shopping with the guys today.

“ you can still sleep but i set your alarm on 9. get up and get ready. i’ll pick you up after the gym. “ his boyfriend told him when he opened his eyes.

“ where are you going? “ he asked still half asleep. they’ve only been sleeping for like 3 hours.

wonho chuckled and pinched his cheek gently.

“ i just told you. i’m going to the gym. sleep baby, you’re still tired. “ he replied as he got up from the edge of the bed.

“ no wait. i’ll come with you. “ hyungwon said as he fought with his body to get out of bed.

“ what? to the gym? “ wonho asked with his eyes wide open. hyungwon only nodded as he stood up.

“ why?! “ he had not once set foot in any kind of gym so it was only logical for his boyfriend to look dumbfounded.

“ i don’t wanna sleep alone. “ he said with a hoarse voice, shrugging and went to take a quick shower. sleeping alone was one of the reasons, but the main reason was that he was still too scared of letting wonho go anywhere alone. it was like he was afraid that somehow something would happen if he wasn’t under his watch and the latter would break again. he couldn’t risk it. he just couldn’t. plus, he had been fed too much food by this boyfriend of his and was about to have a belly if he kept being a couch potato any longer. a bit of exercise never hurt anyone.

 

except, it did. he had no idea his boyfriend could be so strict. he was dying from the exercises the older was making him do and he had been at i for only 20 minutes. the last straw had been the ‘100 push ups’ . he gave up and just let himself fall cuz there was no way in hell he could keep himself up for even a second longer.

“ i’m never going to the gym with you again. “ he said in between his rough and dry pants.

“ you’re such a weak ass. “ the older said as he gave him a bottle of water.

“ excuse you. my ass is doing a great job taking you! “ he frowned and curled up at how his lungs were giving up on him. “ i’m dying “

wonho chuckled and crunched down, making him sit up.

“ does it hurt anywhere? i didn’t go hard on you wonnie “

“ no. my throat is just really dry. also, i never wanna be the person who you ‘go hard’ on in the gym! poor soul! “ he said as he just inhaled the whole bottle.

“ better? “ the older asked and he nodded, wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

“ good. then just go shower and lie down in the changing room while i work out. “

“ no, i’ll just sit here. i wanna watch you work these muscles. “

“ ok then. “ the older grinned and started his routine.

at some point a buff guy, way bigger than wonho, came and helped him at bench press and he thought wonho would die under those weights any moment. his face was so red and his muscles had grown bigger than usual. it was a breath-taking sight and hyungwon found himself drooling over this sexy man he got as his one and only.

 

“ can’t we go home first before joining the guys? “ he asked wonho after taking his photo, which he said he would post on fan cafe later.

“ why? we can shower here. “ the older replied after saying his goodbyes to the buff guy from earlier.

hyungwon waited until they were alone. “ so that you can fuck me? i’m barely keeping myself from jumping you right now. how can you be so damn sexy while working out? look at these. “ he said as he gripped the stone-hard biceps and tried to squeeze them but couldn’t cuz they were well.. stone-hard!

“ we don’t have time baby. i’ll fuck you tomorrow after the gym. deal? “ the older spanked him before starting to take off his clothes as they walked in the shower area.

“ no. i want you now. like right now. i’m wearing over-sized so you can’t see but i’m painfully hard babe. please…we’ll be quick. “

wonho looked at him as if in thought before he told him to wait there as he put his top back on and left the showers.

a few minutes later, he came back with a key in his hand and told him to follow him.

“ i told johnny that you’re really shy and can’t take a shower there and asked him to give me the key to this one. it’s private. go in.” the older held the door for him.

“ but, i can’t be quiet. they’re gonna hear me. “ he said with worry in his eyes. he didn’t want anyone to hear him moan. oh god, never!

“ well baby, you have two options. first one is me giving you a blow job to take the heat off cuz we don’t have lube and there’s just no way i’m fucking you in a place like this. second, you’re gonna take a cold shower to cool off. which one is it gonna be? “ wonho asked as he took hyungwon’s clothes off one by one after he himself was naked, pushed him back till his back hit the cold tiles and kneeled down in front of him.

“ i really want you to fuck me but i guess a blow job will do. “ he breathed out as he felt hot air on his groin. wonho’s face was so close to him.

“ i don’t wanna hear a single moan. clear? “ the older looked up at him from under his bangs with an intense demanding look. hyungwon’s knees felt weak at the sight as he nodded and bit on his bottom lip.

 

remaining quiet was perhaps, one of the hardest things he had ever done in his entire life. studying back to back for exams in university hadn’t been this hard. it was painful and he hated it. he couldn’t understand why people found ‘making yourself stay quiet’ a turning on material. he hated it and he wanted to moan really bad. he wanted to call his boyfriend’s name repeatedly, the person who was sucking him so good he felt like he had died and was in heaven. another thing that he hated was the fact that he couldn’t grab those black strands and pull at them cuz well, he had to keep them on his own mouth, stopping himself from letting ‘ a single moan ‘ out. he also wanted to look at the owner of those skilled lips and tongue that was just making him lose his sanity but couldn’t cuz he had his head pushed back into the wall and his eyes shut tightly. another few attempts at deep throating him and he came as the back of his eyelids became white and starry and his body grew limp.

looking down at the person who was keeping him in place and looking up at him, he saw the older was licking his lips repeatedly to get the remaining cum off them.

“ better? “ he smirked, still kneeling.

“ hmm, get up and hug me. “ hyungwon sort of demanded cuz he really needed a hug or some sort of touch after an orgasm. always.

wonho stood up and hugged him loosely as they kissed.

“ let’s switch so i can pay you back. “ the younger whispered.

“ we don’t have time. i’ll take the cold shower. “ wonho said as he winked and pecked his lips one last time.

 

 

the day went on and they went to several malls and galleries, wonho making them try various styles and matching things with each other. they all kept listening to him and do as they told him and in the end, everyone seemed happy with what they got. well, except for changkyun cuz although, he had a less formal kind of suit, he still didn’t like it.

jieun and boyoung had joined them and they had such a good time that they were actually sad that they decided to go have some time by themselves than stay longer with them.

walking out from the last gallery, hyungwon saw a cat café across the mall and basically dragged everyone inside. kihyun started sneezing right away but kept playing with them. everyone played with them except for minhyuk who was just sitting there and answering company calls.

jooheon was so in love with these two kittens that he told the owner of the cafe that he would literally pay however much they want to have them. of course, minhyuk had meddled in and took them at a reasonable price with his businessman intelligence but he still wasn’t happy about the fact that they had two cats now.

on their way back to minhyuk and jooheon’s house, hyungwon kept asking wonho to let’s adopt a kitten as well but the older didn’t accept and he said he was gonna sleep with minhyuk that night. ( who had told jooheon that he was gonna sleep alone for not considering his opinion on the kittens )

 

 

hyungwon fell asleep in the middle of chatting but it didn’t take him long to wake up due to a bathroom emergency. walking back to the bed, he saw his screen was on by wonho’s fan cafe updates. he kept on teasing the other with his comments and then.. then wonho posted a picture of him with black hair. the black hair he had while the older was still at the hospital, meaning he took it during his stay there.

‘ when did you take that picture? ‘ he texted wonho.

he didn’t get a reply and didn’t get any notifications from fan cafe either so he decided to go check on him.

he found his boyfriend asleep on the couch in a very uncomfortable position. not wanting for him to have a sore body in the morning, he decided to wake him up to sleep properly.

“ won “ he whispered his name quietly.

wonho was a really light sleeper so he immediately opened his eyes.

“ hm? what is it baby? “ he asked as he rubbed his eye and sat up.

“ why are you sleeping like this? lie down properly. “ hyungwon said as he brushed back the older’s hair with his fingers.

“ come here “ wonho held his arms open for him to crawl on his lap.

smiling, he put each of his legs on either side of the older’s thighs and sat on his lap, circled his arms around his neck and put his head on his shoulder, in the crook of the older’s neck.

wonho hugged his waist and pulled him closer to his boy before letting his fingers run through his hair and ghost on his back.

“ why did you wake up? did you miss me? “ the older said as he chuckled.

“ nah, still upset with you. i just had to take a piss. “ hyungwon bit on wonho’s shoulder briefly but it still made the older hiss and pull on his hair.

“ you can be upset all you want. i won’t agree to it. “ the older massaged his scalp as he was probably feeling bad about the pull a second ago.

“ but i really want a kitten! “ hyungwon leaned back and looked at him with pouty lips and puppy eyes.

“ you want a kitten? “ wonho asked and he nodded with his pout still present, making his lips plumper than ever.

“ wait a sec “ he said as he leaned to the side and fumbled with his jacket.

“ what? are you hiding a kitten in your jacket or something?! “ hyungwon knew his idea was dumb but couldn’t understand why the answer to his desire of having a kitten would be in the pocket of his boyfriend’s jacket.

well, didn’t take him long to figure it out tho! the answer was none other than a choker with the word ‘kitten’ on it that he saw briefly before wonho put it on him.

[picture](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/9c/83/a5/9c83a56aaec3dfc1d4e6c654e0b1b075.jpg)

“ there. you’re officially my kitten now. “

hyungwon snorted and rolled his eyes. “ smooth. but no. why can’t we have one if they can have two? and when did you even buy this?!“

“because their lifestyle is different from us. jooheon is gonna take them to his studio with him and he wasn’t joking about changkyun taking care of them sometimes either. who’s gonna take care of the cat when we’re both back at our jobs? hm? and,  i saw it at the store next to that Swarovski gallery. “ wonho said before sliding his index finger under the choker and pulling him close to his lips. “ i’m more than happy with the kitten i got and so should you.” the older licked over hyungwon’s lips before kissing him passionately, the choker taking its effect pretty clearly.

“ mmm, can’t wait to fuck you with this choker on. “

hyungwon blushed and hid his face in the delicious neck of his boyfriend.

a few minutes passed as none of them said anything and just enjoyed the embrace.

“ babe… when did you take that photo? you know, the one i had black hair in..” hyungwon whispered into the older’s skin, making him giggle cuz he was really ticklish there.

“ back at the hospital of course! “

“ but why? “

“ i don’t know. you just looked really breath-taking that day. i mean you always are breath-taking but that day you had dressed up and styled your hair and that glass.. oooff! i just had to capture it! “ wonho replied before lifting the younger’s chin and kissing him again.

“ why do you ask? i’m sorry if you didn’t want me to post it. i’ll delete it later if you want. “ the older said with a slight frown.

“ no! no, it’s fine. i just… i didn’t know you even looked at me back at the hospital. when i had black hair at least. let alone considering me attractive and taking pictures.  “

wonho just stared at him for a few seconds.

“ do you still think that one of the reasons i love you is this pink hair hyungwon? “

his tone was so serious all of a sudden and his hand movements had stopped altogether and the combination sent a shiver down hyungwon’s spine. times like this, he felt smaller even though he was taller.

“ no… “

“ then why do you keep dying it pink? i told you a hundred times you’re gonna hurt your scalp if you kept this on but you just don’t listen. “ wonho let his hands fall at his sides, completely off of hyungwon’s body and it made him feel insecure all of a sudden.

biting his lips, hyungwon took wonho’s wrists and placed his hands back on his waist. the older took the hint and curled his arm around him, pulling him closer and made him lay his head on his chest with his other hand. hyungwon could hear his lover’s heartbeat and it calmed him down with the combination of the fingers in his hair.

“ i like that you like this hair. and i really love it too. i know my scalp is beginning to get angry with me but i wanna hold on to this pink as long as i can. plus,… you won’t be calling me pinkwon if i don’t have it anymore and i kinda love that nickname! “ he murmured into the built chest as he fumbled with his boyfriend’s shirt.

“ i’ll be calling you pinkwon as a memento for the good pink haired times then. is that good enough? “ wonho chuckled and started playing with his earlobe.

“ it is. but i’m still staying with this pink until my hair screams at me. “

“ you’re a stubborn kitten, aren’t you? “ the older tugged his ear playfully before placing a kiss on his hair.

“ i love you hyungwon. regardless of your appearance. i just want you to know that.”

 

 

 

hyungwon ended up falling asleep next to wonho on the couch and when he woke up, he wasn’t embraced by the warm body he loved so much.

it was around 10 when minhyuk woke him up.

“ where’s won? “ the latter asked him as he fixed his tie in the mirror.

“ i don’t know. “ hyungwon mumbled sleepily and checked his phone.

“ aah,,,… he got a call from the company. wow, he sent me this message at 6AM! “

“ guess he really is back to business then. “ minhyuk finished fixing his hair and turned to him.

“ we have everything you’d possibly eat for breakfast so make sure to eat before you leave. kyun is still asleep but he probably has his alarm set so no need to worry about waking him up if you have somewhere to be. everyone else has left already and i’ll be going now. oh .. and i dig that choker. suits you pretty well. “ minhyuk threw a nasty wink at him and he remembered that he had that ‘kitten’ choker around his neck still.

blushing like hell he took it off and waved at minhyuk before the older left. walking to the kitchen, he looked in the frog but didn’t have any appetite so he decided on not eating and just going home to shower and freshen up. he was going back to the dance school today after all.

 

he was freshly out of the shower when his phone started ringing. it was an unknown number.

‘ hello. is this chae hyungwon? ‘

“ yes. how can i help you? “

‘ wonho had talked to us about his desire of having you as his dancer. could you come to the company to discuss it further in person? ‘

“ oh… sure. “

‘ good. please be there at 4PM. goodbye. ‘

“ okay. goodbye. “

 

 

hyungwon sent a couple of messages to wonho but the older must have been busy cuz they remained unread. it was 3:50 when he arrived at the company. parking his car, he was walking through the entrance when he heard his name being called.

“ hyungwon “

“ oh! hey guys! what are you doing here? “ it was shown’s crew. the one he was a part of for a while before wonho’s hospitalization.

“ we’re here with shownu. he’s parking the car. apparently, the company wants to sign a contract with us. aren’t you here for the same reason? shownu said you’re back this morning. “ one of the guys said.

“ i… really don’t know! i got a call to be here for wonho’s dancer position. “

before they could talk further, shownu came and told them all to go inside.

they followed him to a hallway that led to a big office.

as they were getting closer to it, hyungwon could hear wonho’s voice talking in a bothered tone. one he rarely ever heard and was almost never directed at him personally.

 

“ what do you mean you gave my dancers away? who did you even assign them to?! “

he couldn’t hear the reply because unlike wonho’s frustrated voice, the other’s must have been composed.

“ why?! did you think i was done for good? that i wasn’t gonna come back?! “

“ what kind of logic is that?! where am i gonna find good enough dancers to get the hard choreos fast? we’ve got two weeks before the comeback. we won’t find anyone good enough! “

 

they could hear his voice more clearly as the office door opened and jongup came out, closing it behind himself.

“ angry wonho? “ shownu simply asked.

“ angry wonho. “ jongup replied. it seemed as if ‘angry wonho’ , whatever it was, was like an accepted fact or code around here.

“ oh, hyungwon. long time no see. how are you? “ the manager smiled at him gently.

“ hey, i’m good. how about you? and what is going on? “ hyungwon couldn’t focus on the person in front of him with how he was trying to hear the conversation from inside the office.

“ i’m good too. just got back from japan. and… apparently the ceo had assigned wonho’s dancer’s to an idol group. but what are you all doing here? “

“ we are his new dancers. “ shownu winked at jongup before he knocked and went inside without waiting for a reply. they all followed him in.

 

“ oh there they are. surprise! “ the ceo said with a huge smile on his face. wonho didn’t even look at them at first. only when the ceo pointed at them, did he turn his head and saw them there. he had this intense expression on his face that immediately softened upon seeing hyungwon.

“ what do you mean? are they supposed to be my dancers or something? “ wonho chuckled sarcastically, looking at the ceo again.

“ exactly. i always say you’re smart at getting things! i assigned the dancers to our other group cuz it was time for you to collaborate with a professional dance crew. after signing the contract today, you’ll be working with the trespassers. “ the ceo explained and wonho’s eyes widened.

“ did you know about this? “ he asked jongup who quickly shook his head and was equally shook.

working with a professional dance drew was something not many idols did as it costed way more than hiring individual dancers and it was considered something really prestigious.

“ but the trespassers are a really busy dance crew. how are they… “ wonho paused and turned toward shownu “ how are you gonna be able to come on tour with me and everything? you have a school to manage and teach and stuff.. “

“ let me worry about the school myself. right now, i’m really happy to get to work with you like the old times. aren’t you happy? or why are you not showing it? “

shownu replied laughing.

“ i’m beyond happy! all of you are really insanely talented! i just didn’t know you’d be available or i’d ask sooner! “ wonho said shaking his head and laughing back.

“ thank you. this was a pleasant surprise. i appreciate it. but i wish you didn’t let me waste my voice for an hour about this! “ he told the ceo who was still smiling like crazy.

“ well, what would the fun in that be? ok then, go back to your schedules and i’ll talk with these gentlemen about the contract. “

wonho nodded and turned around, walking toward the door where they were still standing. exchanging approving looks with the crew, he got to hyungwon and patted his forearm with a beautiful smile on his face before leaving.

 

 

hyungwon and the rest of the trespassers had signed the contract and were told to start practicing from tomorrow so he decided to just join wonho in his studio for the rest of the day but then when he didn’t answer his calls, he texted jongup, asking whether they were at the studio and the answer was no. so he went back to the dance school to practice some with the guys.

 

it was around 11PM when he finally let himself fall on the floor, panting and sweating and tired after months of not practicing. but he forgot all of his bodily exhaustion as soon as he unlocked his phone and got confronted by a new twitter post. a post that announced the release of an OST by wonho for this upcoming series. the series didn’t matter to him cuz they didn’t really watch tv that much. even the song itself was secondary to what hyungwon was seeing at that moment. there, in the twitter post, was a PURPLE-haired WONHO!

hyungwon was so overwhelmed, he actually sat up and zoomed in on the image. it couldn’t have been from before cuz he knew all the colors wonho had tried by now and purple was not one of them! after minutes of mixed emotions about this new look, he connected his phone to the speakers and played the song. it was called ‘ myself ‘ and just like every other song, it was completely made by wonho himself. and well… it was beyond amazing. it was kinda sad and had this mysterious vibe to it but it was just pure perfection. hyungwon could still remember the last OST he released. it was a song called ‘ goodbye ‘ and got a great response from the country itself. he knew this one would too.

 

**WonHo_Official**

‘Myself”, an OST for ‘ XX ‘ drama is out now. you can listen to it on online streaming platforms.

 

 

 

the remaining days until kihyun’s wedding passed by countless hours of practicing wonho’s choreos, sometimes even without him being there because they were new to the moves and there were so many songs to learn and the choreos were just insanely hard sometimes, even though they were all rather quick at memorizing them.

wonho had been super busy attending variety shows and performing myself here and there. it actually won 3 awards although OSTs never won that many awards really. fans were really happy that they got this song while waiting for the upcoming album that would release 5 days after the wedding. they were all really hyped up by the teasers already.

all in all, they both were beyond busy and they haven’t had much time to spend with each other. wonho’s studio being out of the company’s building didn’t help it either. hyungwon saw jooheon and shownu more than his boyfriend but it was okay. they couldn’t be together all the time!

 

 

 

“ look at my sexy boyfriend. come here. “ wonho said as soon as he walked in where they were all sitting at the waiting room for the groom and his best men ( which was ALL of them! )

hyungwon smiled as wide as he could and ran to him, curling his arms around the muscular guy.

“ i missed you. “ 

“ i missed you too baby. “ wonho had gone to japan for a fan sign for 3 days and it left him alone, dealing with a kihyun who’d panic from time to time as the wedding got closer.

“ you look hella hot! and your hair is … poooof! my pinkwonie! “ the older chuckled and pulled him down for a kiss that got deeper than they had probably planned but none of them could help it. it’s been around 5 days ever since they last saw each other.

“ ehem! other people in the room and a guy that is really losing it and you two shoving your tongues into each other’s throat doesn’t help it.” kihyun nagged.

“ please! you kiss bo ALL the freaking time! “ minhyuk argued

“ yeah! but it’s just a peck not this french all tongue and stuff kissing and that’s not even the point! guys, what if i fail? what if i forget my vows? what if i drop the ring?”  kihyun was visibly losing his sanity.

“ yo kihyun! man, chill out! you’re gonna be just fine and forget about all of your nervousness the moment you see her walking down the aisle! she loves you and you love her and that’s all that matters. even if you drop the ring or forget your vows, it doesn’t change the fact that you two are in love. now shut up and let me kiss my boyfriend. “ wonho said with a grin as he patted kihyun with more strength than necessary.  

“ why are you black again? that purple was good on you and it reminded everyone that you’re still an idol! “ jooheon said chewing on his banana.

“ it’s still purple. i just sprayed it black to be formal. don’t want a purple head floating around in the wedding pictures! “ the singer replied as he sat on the couch and pulled hyungwon on top of his lap.

“ you look so hot in this “ hyungwon said, caressing wonho’s cheek that was as soft as ever. he’d gain a bit weight.

“ you picked it for me. what else did you expect? “ the older smiled and pulled him in again, connecting their lips.

 

 

 

“ i do “ 

“ i do “

rings and vows were exchanged. they were now officially husband and wife. pretty much everyone was crying while standing and clapping loudly.

they all hugged kihyun in a group hug and congratulated boyoung one by one.

wonho was holding hyungwon’s left hand in his and rubbing it with his thumb. had hyungwon been distracted, he wouldn’t catch the way wonho looked down at their linked hands and rubbed over his ring finger, looking in thought.

the olde caught himself pretty quickly, noticing hyungwon’s eyes on him and smiled before taking his hand to his lips and pressing a long kiss to the back of it.

hyungwon didn’t know what he was feeling but he knew that he couldn’t care less about all the people that were about to witness them kissing. he just turned to face wonho properly, pulled him in by his shirt and kissed him.

none of them heard the not so few gasps and whispers from the people around them with how they melted into one another, but even if they had they couldn’t give a single shit. they were in love and nothing or no one else really mattered. 


	91. Ninety One

**WonHo_Official**

**4,718,920 likes      2,847,100 comments**

#shine_forever Music video OUT NOW. 

 

 

**WonHo**

**4,838,200 likes      2,910,555 comments**

did you like shine forever? the album will be out in a few ^^

 

 

**WonHo**

**2,848,999 likes     1,038,826 comments**

#wonbebe, are you ready? i'll see you in a bit at the showcase ❤

 

 

 

the day millions of people were waiting for finally came and wonho's new album _' Are you there '_ was released. a showcase for the album was being held at the Art center's concert hall in the evening.

the company had hired Doni and Coni for the showcase and they were hyping wonbebe up until wonho would come on stage.

when wonho set foot on the stage and saw thousands of his fans, cheering and screaming for him, he felt so overwhelmed, he couldn't keep himself together. he broke into tears that very second as he kept looking at the beautiful people that were standing on their feet for him.

bringing both of his hands to his mouth, he bit his lips hard to maintain some self-control back.

' ok, sit down. i think he won't stop crying as long as you're cheering for him. ' coni said.

" wonbebe... hiiii! " wonho made himself say between his sobs.

" i'm sorry i'm being like this. it's just been too long since the last time i saw you and i missed all of you so much. " he paused and wiped his tears away with the tissue that was handed to him. they all sat down on their chairs.

" to be honest, i kind of thought that... because of two long hiatuses back to back, i'd lost many fans but seeing you here like this just reminded me that my wonbebe are loyal to me." 

everyone started saying encouraging words to him but because they were like 15-16k wonbebe present there, none of the words were understandable, but it was still heart-warming.

" so... did you like the album? "

'yes~ ' they all replied

" i actually wanted to promote it with the same hair in the mv but it's been so long since we filmed it that it felt like repeating the past so i dyed it purple. is that okay? "

' yes~ ' 

wonho giggled and spent a few more seconds just looking at them until Doni started talking.

' there are 9 tracks in the album plus the intro. coni and i were listening to them just before this and... all of them are good! there wasn't a single average track in it! how do you do this?! did you do everything yourself again this time?'

wonho laughed at the compliment. he could never get used to it.

" thank you so much! yeah. i did everything. but you know, there are always people i get advice from and ask for their opinion and stuff. "

' so there's shine forever. which by the way had a very beautiful and cinematic music video. who were the people acting in it? ' 

" oh, the director that i usually work with recommended them. they were theater actors from his daughter's university. he said it'd be more interesting to use new faces instead of actors that are known so we did. and they're all really good guys. we had a fun time recording. "

' track number two is called ' beautiful ' and you worked with jackson and hyunbin again. are you guys a unit now or what? '

" well, for beautiful, i really wanted rap parts because it wouldn't have the same dynamics with only vocals. and i love both jackson and hyunbin so much and we're all in the same company and our voices match so yeah! we'll probably work together more in the future. did you like beautiful wonbebe? " 

' yeeees~ '

' hyungwoni's beautiful oppa ' one of the girls screamed at the top of her lungs and everyone burst out laughing.

' aaaaah, hyungwon, your boyfriend, right? ' Doni asked

" yeah! " wonho nodded still laughing.

' where is he? is he here? ' 

" ooooh"  he hesitated "yeah.... he's backstage "

' so is he beautiful? i haven't seen him yet. ' coni wiggled his eyebrows teasingly

" he's... very beautiful " wonho got shy from talking about this in front of all those people.

' okay, so you wrote beautiful for hyungwon, which of the other tracks were for him? or is the whole album for him? " the mc teasing was never ending as it seemed and wonho found himself laughing and clapping like the audience.

" Actually, there's a song in this album that hyungwon wrote the lyrics for. 'underwater' "

' he's a lyricist? ' coni asked shocked 

" aah, no, but he writes poems and i really loved this one so i asked whether i could use it and he said yes. "

' underwater? that was my favorite track! i was thinking you should have made it the title track while listening ' Doni said

" oh really? thank you! yeah it's a really beautiful song and mostly it's because of the lyrics, they're really touching. but i added it to the album later on, we've recorded the mv so we couldn't change title track. "

' let's watch a preview of the album together, shall we? ' 

 

the preview had a bit of every song in it.

Are you there album had 9 tracks:

_Shine forever_

_Beautiful_

_oh my_

_mohae_

_by my side_

_gravity_

_heart attack_

_fallin'_

_underwater_

 

 

after that, the mc s asked wonho to talk about the album and each song a bit.

" to be honest, i did write most of this album thinking about hyungwon. each of them has their own story and contains my feelings on a different day. like, i wrote mohae while i was on tour, we were thousands of kilometers apart and.... i was missing him like crazy! being a singer and going tour has these things to it. you'll be apart from your loved ones most of the time. you have to really love your job to be able to handle it. " wonho said shrugging with a huge smile on his face. the audience went 'awwwwwwww'

' so that's why you were all ' where are you what are you doing' in the song. got it ' coni nodded ' and the rest? '

" mohae, heart attack, gravity, shine forever and beautiful are just me ranting about him and how much in love i am. " wonho giggled " oh my and fallin' are about my beautiful wonbebe. i wanted to gift them songs that they can dance and have fun with. underwater has a different story to it that i can't share. "

' and by me side? this song was really sad '

" by my side is... " he moved in his chair a bit " you know most people are still not accepting the lgbt+ individuals and are giving them a really hard time. i could easily just live in the shadows and no one would ever know that i'm gay but i didn't like it. i wanted to be a strength to others like me. a face, to tell them that it's okay. there's nothing wrong with us. but still, as i said, there are so many people struggling and attacking. when rumors of me dating a guy again started spreading, there were thousands of hate mails and hate comments which i always ignore.  because i know myself and i know what they say about me is not true. i'm not dirty. i'm not committing any kind of sin or doing anything illegal. i'm just loving someone with my whole heart and i don't know why that should offend anyone. if anything, it's a sacred thing, love is a sacred thing. anyway, when hyungwon's face and identity was revealed, he had a really hard time. people kept surrounding him, reporters and media, they wouldn't leave him alone. to the point that he actually was attacked and got wounded and we had to get him bodyguards for a while. at that period of time, seeing how much pressure he was under, i was really scared. scared of him not being able to deal with it all and just deciding to leave. so that's how and why i wrote by my side. i wanted it to be a song that people like us could use to ask their partners and lovers to stay by their side if possible. and i'm really glad he decided to stay after everything. "

 

the showcase went on with various fun events and they called a few fans on the stage to do matches with. the next morning, the internet was all about wonho.

 

 

_'Solo_ _kpop_ _artist, Wonho, explained the reason _ _of_ _coming out of the closet to the public._

_wonho's_ _new album was recently released. at last night's showcase, he explained why he didn't stay closeted: **'  i wanted to be a strength to others like me. a face, to tell them that it's okay. '**_

 

 

_'  after many months of waiting, fans got to gather together with their favorite soloist, wonho, in an album showcase. just when we thought all of the tracks of the new album were romantic, he dropped the bomb by saying 'by my side' is dedicated to the pressure lgbt+ individuals feel in the society : **'**_ **i** **wanted it to be a song that people like us could use to ask their partners and lovers to stay by their side if possible.'**

 

 

_' fans experienced an emotional storm at_ _wonho 's_ _showcase. last night the artist told the fans the behind story about his song 'by my side' and had the fans in tears when he both_ _him_ _and his boyfriend were under attack by media and homophobes.'_

 

 

( fan pages )

 

 

he is an actual angel sent on earth by gods. no one can convince me otherwise.

#shine_forever #wonho

 

 

 ( the gifs are supposed to be cuts from the mv)

every comeback we say that's it. he can't get any better. yet every comeback he outshines himself! #shine_forever baby #wonho

 

 

can i just say how in love with #shine_forever i am? the whole album is a bop!

#shine_forever #wonho

 

 

did you watch last night's showcase's vlive? omg... he is really an angel. he wrote a whole song to support lgbt+! of course it was mainly for hyungwon but still! the fact that he talked about it knowing he'd get backlash again was a really brave move. he is a true fighter!

#shine_forever #wonho

 

 

so, #wonho #are_you_there #shine_forever #by_my_side #support_lgbt_wonho are trending worldwide and it's been hours! the power of our king!

 

 

lkjadhoiuh can't believe they already dropped the behind-the-scenes only one day after the mv! LOOK AT HIM BEING ALL CUTE AND SEXY! who sits in the car like that lmfao :v i love him soooo much!

p.s.: are you there showcase has reached 900M views!!!!! and twitter is filled with the cut of his speech about lgbt+! how can anyone not love him smh..

 

 

**

 

**H.One**

****

**980,123 likes    515,027 comments** ****

this is my favorite part of #shine_forever

he is so hot in that white shirt! **@WonHo** well-done baby. i love you ❤

 

 **WonHo:** i love you too ❤❤❤

 **JHoney:**  awww

 **WhaleMin:** awww2

 **ShoBearNu:** awww3

 **Ki.HamD:** awww4. my favorite gays.

 **kkukkung** **:** ewww

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** shut up

 

 

 

**

**Soompi**

_Wonho sipping his coffee on his way to burn the stage once again with his new song ' shine forever ' at Mcountdown_ _._

 

 

 

**WonHo**

**3,001,478 likes     1,239,949 comments**

first stage, here we go ^^

 

 

( three weeks later )

**WonHo**

**3,193,820 likes    1,948,003 comments**

comeback stages are over. i'll miss this era so much :(  

i had the honor of working with @The_trespassers this comeback and i hope we'll continue to work together in the future. thank you guys. you're amazing!

i saw many new #wonbebe this comeback. thank you for all your love and support. you know i love you back even more, right? ^^

and thank you for the 7wins for #shine_forever. it was beautiful. you worked hard wonbebe. i love you. ♡ i'll see you in the tour soon iwonbebe ♡♡

 

 

**ShoBearNu**

**598,839 likes      4,837 comments**

****his face when he saw #are_you_there at #1 on Billboard album chart ^^

 

 **H.One:** UwU

 **Ki.HamD: @H.One** you learned fan culture language way too fast!

 **H.One: @Ki.HamD** let me drop all of my uwus for my bf! go take care of your wife, dad.

 **WonHo: @H.One** i still don't know what uwu means but thank you!

 **H.One:** *face palm*

 

 

 

**H.One**

**910,929 likes      61,928 comments**

so what were the two of you arguing about? **@WonHo**

 

 **WonHo:** :v

 **WonHo:** he was saying he loves you more than me.

 **H.One: @WonHo** smooth.

 

 

 

 

( fan pages )

so, let me sum this cb up!

we got wonho winning more than ever and being on top of so many charts around the world for three weeks straight ( keep it up! )

we got the trespassers aka our king shownu's crew performing the cb stages with him WHICH INCLUDED HYUNGWON AND IM LIKE WTFMJBDFJGHLJHGDF!!!

but sadly, we didn't have any ' hyungwonho moments'  :(  they were really professional and didn't even touch each other on the screen ( which is kinda sad cuz everyone knows they're together but they still have to keep distance on tv.. )

good news is! THEY DROPPED THE WORLD TOUR DATES! i already bought my ticket! can't wait to see them!!!! i wonder if hyungwon and the trespassers would go on tour with him or not! that would be awesome and the first time to have a pro dance crew as dancers!

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to give shine forever all the wins it deserved because in reality all it got was disrespect!  
> anyway, be ready to stream your asses off when they drop the new album! i dont want any monbebe to be lazy!


	92. Ninety Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~  
> i'm dying from the amount of the stress i have over the comeback!  
> anyway, i wrote this chapter ages ago and just had to add a little part to it but couldn't because as i said: stress!  
> sigh, please check the notes in the end!  
> oh and this chapter contains smut :)

the preparations for the world tour were crazy. they were practicing nonstop. wonho would come up with so many ideas that the whole crew and hyungwon were just left speechless. shownu wasn’t though, he must have known by now.

 

hyungwon got it as soon as he started working for the company and as wonho’s dancer. the fact that his boyfriend was serious when it came to his job. he was an extreme perfectionist that would easily get stressed if the tiniest thing didn’t go to his plans. that had been the reason why he had seen him angry for the first time in months. the world tour teaser was not what he wanted even though he had insisted on a special scene to be included. hyungwon saw many occasions like this, when wonho would just lash out at the staff. he wouldn’t shout but he would just look at them with such intense eyes and sometimes use harsh words that he kinda understood why people at the company had given him the nickname ‘asshole’

and honestly? the staff didn’t make it easy to like them and be on their side. they messed things up so often that hyungwon was convinced wonho had become that big only because of his constant hard work and ideas of concepts, etc.

the cherry on top was when they were a week prior to the tour and they found out that one of the concert halls had canceled on them. apparently, they were supposed to send them a certain percentage beforehand but the staff forgot so the concert hall management had thought they didn’t want it anymore. and it was after they had sold out the tickets.

 

“ how stupid can you be? it’s your job!!! it’s literally what you’re paid to do! how the fuck could you forget? “ wonho said, hovering over the staff’s desk and looking down on the boy.

 

hyungwon had just arrived and was walking to the practice room, hoping that his boyfriend had come since he had a schedule to go to when he heard the ceo’s shouting and then wonho’s voice. he followed the sound and ended up at the staff’s office.

 

“ i… i’m sorry. there was so much to do that i.. “ the boy stuttered, looking like he was about to cry.

 

“ i don’t care about you being sorry. 40 thousand people had bought the ticket to a concert that is not gonna happen. how is you being sorry is gonna fix anything? “ his boyfriend said, obviously trying to hold back.

the boy didn’t reply and just kept looking down.

 

“ is there nothing we can do? i don’t wanna refund them. i wanna hold the concert. i can’t just cancel on them. “ he asked from the ceo who was just as frustrated.

 

“ i’m gonna have to call them again. i’ve called twice already but they said they’ve already rescheduled and it’s not available. “

 

hearing that, wonho ran his fingers through his hair repeatedly, messing them up. closing his eyes, he breathed deeply a few times to calm down.

 

“ what about other places? other places in the same city. is anything available? “ he asked again from the staff boy.

 

“ i… don’t think so. it’s not easy finding a hall with that capacity in such a short time. “ and that, had been the wrong answer, the wrongest he could come up with.

 

wonho exploded as he picked the pile of papers on the boy’s desk and threw them at him. “ i know it’s not fucking easy because you fucked everything up. now what about taking some responsibility and working your ass off till you fix your mess instead of telling me you don’t think it’s possible? “ he shouted without a breath.

“ i don’t work 24/7 for people like you to carelessly ruin it. get your shit together and fix this or i’ll make sure you get fired. “ he said as a final statement and turned around. he was so angry that he didn’t even see hyungwon there and just passed by him in fast steps.

 

taking a final look at the boy, he turned around and ran after wonho. his boyfriend went into the practice room and ignored everyone’s greetings as he made his way to his bag. taking the top out of the bag, wonho kept holding it in his hand for a few seconds before throwing it to the bag again harshly. he rubbed his palms over his face furiously, clearly unable to calm himself down.

 

hyungwon walked the few steps toward his lover after watching him for a few seconds, as other crew members were looking at them back and forth in confusion.

“ won “ he called him quietly.

“ not now hyungwon “ was the deadpanned reply.

“ baby “ hyungwon didn’t give up and took both of the older’s hands in his as he rubbed his thumbs over the smooth skin. “ it’s gonna be okay. they’re gonna come up with a solution. “

“ and what if they don’t? “ wonho took his hands away and leaned against the wall, hitting his head on its surface.

“ then you’d just refund them and reschedule it for another date. it’s not something that will solve if you keep stressing yourself over like this. “ he said in the calmest voice he could manage as he walked in front of wonho and hugged him slowly.

“ it’s not as easy as you put it. “ the older replied as he circled his arms around hyungwon’s waist loosely.

“ i know. i know it’s not baby. but eating yourself up like this won’t solve anything, right? “ he said as he pressed a kiss to the older’s cheek and kept the contact for a few seconds longer.

wonho’s hands tightened around him as he inhaled deeply.

“ your scent.. it calms me down.” he inhaled again “ it won’t solve anything but i can’t just be nonchalant about it. the concert sold out in 15 minutes and they were so hyped up about it. i can’t just tell them it’s canceled. “ he explained a bit relaxed as he pulled hyungwon closer to himself.

“ if, if they weren’t able to come up with something, you should just tell the fans about what happened. i’m sure they’ll understand. “ he said playing with wonho’s earlobe between his index finger and thumb. it somehow was the cooldown button of the older.

“ they already don’t like the company. they’re gonna hate it even more. it’s more complicated than that hyungwon. “ wonho said and sighed as he pressed his forehead on his.

suddenly a sound of camera shutter broke the silence of the room. hyungwon and then wonho looked to the source’s direction as the sound repeated.

“ sorry, the guys have to see this. “ shownu was the betrayer who took the photos of them.

wonho was absolutely not in the mood of any kind of joke so he just threw a look at the older and grabbed his shirt again.

“ let’s start the practice. “

 

 

 

they had come home after about 4 hours of practicing. wonho kept messing up cuz he couldn’t focus so they just called it off.

“ babe, enough! if you keep staring at your phone like that i’m afraid you’ll put a hole in it with that gaze! “ hyungwon teased him, trying to change the atmosphere but it didn’t work as wonho ignored him completely.

the ceo told them that he was gonna do all he can and now wonho was just sitting there on the sofa with his phone in hand, waiting for any kind of update.

hyugwon sat next to him, facing him, and put his chin on his shoulder.

“ i’m bored. “ he pouted.

“ go to sleep. “ his boyfriend said without looking at him.

“ no, i want attention. you haven’t kissed me the whole day! “ he pouted more and pulled his kitten eyes on.

wonho looked at him and raised his eyebrow. leaning down, he pecked his lips briefly before sitting straight again.

narrowing his eyes, he thought of something else to distract his boyfriend.

hyungwon let his fingertips ghost over the older’s arm length as he took his hand and brought it to his lips. with the help of his other hand, he isolated the index and the middle finger apart and took them both into his mouth. he sucked and licked on them sensually, making sure to move his tongue just right to both make filthy sounds and feel good.

wonho looked at him from under his bangs. “ are you trying to seduce me? “

“ me? of course not! “ hyungwon closed his eyes and shook his head as he sucked on the fingers harder and moved onto the older’s lap in one swift move.

he didn’t let go of the fingers as he kept the wrist between his hands and started grinding on the wonho’s crotch.

“ hyungwon, stop. “ wonho’s other hand grabbed his waist but he kept on going.

“ what? i’m not doing anything. “ he said with the fingers still in his mouth as he stuck his tongue out and licked the finger from bottom to top before taking them inside his mouth completely and humming, all the while he looked straight into wonho’s eyes.

“ you’re such a brat. stop it or it’ll cost you. “ the older said as he licked over his lips.

hyungwon sucked his way up and let go of the fingers with a sound and licked the tip of them once. “ but hyung! i’m just sitting here. why would sitting on your lap cost me anything? “ he said in an innocent tone and expression as he started sucking on the fingers again but this time, he let one of his hands slide down on his own body and slip into his shorts. he closed his fingers around the tip and teased himself. moaning quietly around the fingers, he kept on grinding on his boyfriend as he started jerking himself and kept the eye contact.

“ i see you decided to pull the hyung card again. “ wonho said as he slapped his hand, making him let go of his erection. “ don’t touch what’s mine. “

hyungwon couldn’t help but moan in satisfaction at hearing that and smiled warmly.

“ i love sitting on your lap hyung. it’s so comfy. “ he said as was about to continue on the fingers when wonho pulled on his hair with his other hand, brought his head closer to himself, tilted it and fucked into his mouth with his 4 fingers roughly.

“ how’s getting your mouth fucked with my fingers while sitting on my lap? still comfy? “ the older whispered in his ear and moved his fingers further and faster. hyungwon gagged and shut his eyes tightly. wonho didn’t stop and continued until a second later hyungwon gagged again and wonho pulled his fingers out.

“ undress and kneel “ the older said in a demanding tone as he licked over his lips once before letting him go altogether.

hyungwon wanted to kiss him so bad but he had awakened the beast now and was no longer able to delay the demands unless it was in the form of their safe word.

sliding down from his boyfriend’s lap, he undressed and kneeled in front of him with his hands on his own thighs.

wonho stood up and took his belt out before undressing completely as well. stepping closer, he took each side of the belt in his hands and put it around hyungwon’s head as he pulled him closer by it.

“ lick it like the good kitten you are. “ his lover said as he tugged the kitten choker around hyungwon’s neck, the one he had put on to make a mood which was obviously a success.

 

speaking his tongue out, he let its tip to dig into the slit first before he left kitten licks on the rest of the head. wonho bit his lip as he kept looking down at him with his intense dominant gaze.

hyungwon didn’t take him in and just kept on teasing him with brief licks for a while. it seemed as if wonho’s patience ran out as he hissed and pulled the belt toward himself, making hyungwon taking him all in. the tip hit the back of his throat and went even further without a warning and he gagged again but wonho didn’t loosen the belt for a couple more seconds, making a single tear run down from the corner of his eye.

“ how’s that? you still wanna be a brat? “ the older asked as he let hyungwon take a breath.

“ i don’t understand what you call me a brat for, hyung “ hyungwon said innocently as he wiped the corner of his lips with the back of his hand while panting.

“ i’ll make you understand, don’t worry. “ wonho threw the belt on the floor. he walked back and sat on the sofa as he gestured at hyungwon with his index finger.

“ come here “

hyungwon crawled toward his boyfriend on his knees and sat between his legs. wonho didn’t waste time as he grabbed a fistful of his hair with one hand and blocked his nose with the other and kept his head down still.

“ open up for me baby “

he opened his mouth wide and flattened his tongue cuz he knew what was next.

wonho pulled his head and lead him down on himself till his nose hit his abdomen and kept him there. this time hyungwon didn’t gag because he was ready for it and had relaxed his throat. he swallowed around the erection in his mouth and took a hiss out of the older again.

“ pat me twice if it got too much “ wonho said although they knew their rules very well by now.

without another second, his boyfriend started fucking into his throat, moving his hips and keeping hyungwon’s head still and his nose blocked, just like he liked it. he knew that it was supposed to be some sort of a punishment for him but his heart was happy because as kinky as it was, it was something he liked and for wonho to have chosen to do this among all the things he could do was just so freaking heartwarming, showing that he knew him very well, although he had a giant dick down his throat!

feeling his lungs’ running out of air, he opened his mouth wider and inhaled a bit in between the thrusts before he closed his lips around the thick erection again and hummed. it wasn’t for show, he really loved everything about this.

wonho stopped and bent down as he took his face up with his grip on hyungwon’s cheeks and kissed him hungrily and deeply. their tongues danced together and he moaned into the older’s mouth, feeling his own erection twitch.

after a good several minutes of kissing, wonho leaned back and let go of him. he took the lube from the drawer nearby and held it infant of hyungwon.

“ go on baby, fuck yourself with those beautiful long fingers of yours. “

“ but you said not to touch what’s yours “ he didn’t stop his innocent act as he opened the bottle and coated two of his fingers. he looked back up at wonho who was staring at him with pouring lust in his eyes.

“ you’re making me lose my mind hyungwon “ his boyfriend said as he slid his thumb over his plump bottom lip and then inside his mouth.

hyungwon closed his lips around the digit as he moved his arm to his back and pushed his two fingers in. he moaned and his lips parted.

turning his face away from the hand, he leaned in and took wonho in his mouth again, keeping his head still as a sign for the other to continue what he was doing. wonho was quick as he grabbed his hair but this time didn’t block his nose and started fucking into his mouth again.

the sounds of both of their moans mixed with each other and created a beautiful music to their ears. hyungwon was losing his mind and he needed more. he had started it as something to make wonho burn in lust but now he was the one burning.

“ hyung, please. “ he breathed out when he patted wonho’s thigh twice for the other to let him go. “ please, i’m ready for you. “ he said as he kept moving his fingers and moaning.

 

“ come sit on my lap baby “ wonho said as he bit on his lips. the sight was too much for him to handle. hyungwon was pleasuring himself and begging him for more.

he grabbed a tissue and wiped the beautiful boy’s fingers with it.

“ you’re perfect, did you know that? “ he whispered against the younger’s lips as he kissed him passionately. he could have continued like that but a whimper from his painfully turned on lover, reminded him that hyungwon was in his super horny mode and needed to be taken care of.

lubing up and taking the base of his erection, he waited for hyungwon to slide down. the younger sat on him carefully, knowing better about his own tightness and hissed at the sensation.

“ fuck! “ wonho exhaled roughly as he let his head fall back and closed his eyes.

hyungwon grabbed his shoulders tightly as he sinked down deeper, slowly.

taking a deep breath, hyungwon sat down in one move when he was about halfway in. he couldn’t help the loud whimper as he leaned in and rest his forehead on the older’s shoulder.

wonho kept kissing his temple and rubbing over his back in soothing patterns.

a minute later when hyungwon was getting himself ready to move, wonho got one of his hands from his own shoulder and intertwined their fingers together as he kissed the back of his hand. “ i love you “

hyungwon half smiled as he got up almost all the way before sitting back down fast, resulting in both of them moaning loudly.

a few more times and his body gave out on him, he couldn’t keep it up, his thighs were shivering and he couldn’t keep going up and down.

“ i can’t, bab- hyung, please, please fuck me “

wonho grabbed his waist without hesitation and slammed into him. hyungwon’s body grew limp as he let himself land on wonho’s. the older wrapped his arms around him to keep him in place as he started to thrust into him fast and deep.

hyungwon had no power to do anything so he just grabbed the edges of the sofa’s backrest for dear life and moaned at the top of his lungs as he got fucked real good.

wonho was so close to the edge after all the blowjob he was gifted with and he didn’t wanna cum before hyungwon. letting go of hyungwon’s hand, he reached between their bodies and started jerking him off in sync with his thrusts.

a couple of minutes later, hyungwon’s body started convulsing more rapidly as he felt teeth sinking on his shoulder and his boyfriend came with a mantra of his name, forgetting all about the fact that he had kept calling him hyung earlier.

the electricity that teeth on his flesh sent through his body, made wonho come a few seconds after hyungwon, inside him. riding through their highs, he stopped when he heard a hiss from his beautiful boyfriend who was just laying on his chest with no energy. he must have been tired beforehand from all the constant practicing.

“ you okay hyungwonie “ he asked as he caressed all the skin he could find.

his boyfriend was still sitting on him “ yes…. hyung “

wonho spanked him rather hard upon hearing the nickname. hyungwon’s body moved away from the hit and he hissed. “ ouch! that hurt hyung! “ hyungwon said with a smug grin on his face as he finally leaned back from his chest and looked at him.

wonho’s hands were on his waste, he smirked at hyungwon as he gripped the thin waist in an iron grip and thrust into him again without any warning.

the pink-haired boy’s body jerked as he yelped.

“ i dare you to call me hyung one more time “ he said as he raised his eyebrow and looked at the younger’s beautiful shocked blissful face.

“ i don’t know what you’re talking about.. hyung “ hyungwon smiled and bit his lip as he was getting aroused again.

wonho spanked him once more and hyungwon whimpered and closed his eyes out for a second. “ i think i’ll die after this “ he swallowed and chuckled “ but it’ll be so worth it. fuck me baby, fuck me again like i know you want to. i can feel you getting hard again inside me. fuck me like there’s no tomorrow. i love you wonho. i love you so much. “

if wonho had any intention of going wild at him again, it all was washed away as he turned into a puddle with the sweet words that hit him out of nowhere. the hyung kink suddenly turned into a beautiful sexy love confession and he didn’t know what he wanted more, to pinch hyungwon’s cheek and rub their noses together or to kiss him passionately for eternity while making love to him.

“ hold on tight wonnie “ he said after a peck of his lips and on his cheek as he grabbed the younger’s thighs and stood up, walking to the bedroom cuz they couldn’t mess the sofa up. they would change the bedsheets after this so it was okay. he had cum inside hyungwon and it wouldn’t be the neatest way to fuck him right after like this.

sitting on the edge of the bed, he let himself fall backward on the mattress as hyungwon was still sitting on top of him, on him.

wonho gripped his waist and made him roll his hips. hyungwon was so good at this that every time he felt like he could die and that would be a happy death. throwing his head back, wonho moaned and thrust up unconsciously as his boyfriend kept on rolling his hips.

 

 

 

 

*

*

 

they had showered again, wonho had changed the sheets and they had gone to bed to get some sleep before the endless practice hours come again. he kind of felt guilty for making hyungwon’s life so busy. if he hadn’t become his dancer, he wouldn’t have to practice this hard. he’d only have their crew’s performances and the classes. but now he had to practice his songs’ choreos in addition to all of those.

he hadn’t been able to sleep, he’s mind being too preoccupied.

he knew hyungwon had done what he had to distract him but as soon as the other fell asleep in his arms, the thoughts came right back to him. he really didn’t want to cancel it. he had read their tweets and fan letters, so many people had bought airplane tickets to come from another city or country and reserved hotel rooms just to see him. it wasn’t only about refunds. they had spent too much money on him. he couldn’t disappoint them.

caressing the soft hair carefully, he placed a kiss on hyungwon’s cheek before slipping out of bed. he went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine and walked to the glass wall. standing there and taking small sips from his drink, he thought about what he could do to manage this situation somehow. standing there and looking down was scary. he could never stand so close to the edge on this height if there wasn’t this glass wall protecting him but it was still scary. that feeling helped him push his troubles to the back in some fucked up way. he didn’t know whether it was the wine that he had terribly missed or the scary view but his head started working again.

walking to his little studio room, he turned the laptop on and opened the venue’s webpage. he called the manager and he talked and talked but it seemed as if they really had rescheduled another event at that day and there was nothing he could do. so he started looking up for other possible places. there was nowhere else that could fit that many people. but then he found something. it was one of those old art universities. the building was very big and if the authorities would accept, the hall would be able to fit the 40k fans. he called jongup and told him about his idea. the manager looked it up over the phone and told him he’d call them right away.

tapping his fingers on his thigh impatiently, he thought of drinking another glass of the perfect wine but stopped himself with all of his will power. his phone vibrated and jongup told him that after 30 minutes of discussion, they had accepted to do the concert there although they had never let anyone there before. there was one condition and it was for him to have a little meeting with the producing seniors of the university before or after the concert. turned out that the daughter of the person jongup had talked to had been a huge fan of wonho and that was how the guy knew about him and that he was a producer. the place was solved but now the problem was the seats and the prices the fans had paid for those. jongup told him not to worry about that and that he was gonna come up with a solution and that he had done enough.

 

sighing in relief and closing his laptop, he turned the pc on. it felt like it had been ages since he last sat behind that chair and worked on music in that room. as soon as the screen was up, he saw a folder with the name ‘ watch me ‘

he knew it wasn’t his way of naming folders so he opened it. there was only one video in the folder.

 

 

 

{ check [Alligator](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3C3hIJg4rHo) out :D while you're here }

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not kinky, you are!
> 
> so, i have a question that i would like ALL of you to answer please, i'm talking to you silent readers hehe :D
> 
> i'm thinking about writing a texting/social media ff. because as you might already know i'm crazy about photos!  
> so i've been thinking, what if i made this kind of ff about Don't fall? like there would be a whole chaptered fanfic about these same characters we have in this fanfic? would it be okay? would you guys like that?  
> should i make a texting fanfic about don't fall or make one with a whole new characterizing and new plot?
> 
> honestly i love dont fall too much that im trying to cling to it with however way i can lol. so tell me which one you would like to read more.
> 
> ( don't forget to stream Alligator )
> 
> author out.


	93. Ninety Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi monbebe~  
> congrats on the 2 wins.  
> please, make sure to stream on yt, melon, genie and other platforms. our views are very poor...  
> don't forget to vote for our boys tomorrow live via sms.  
> the live stream is at 6pm kst and you can use https://www.smsrr.com/ to vote for free.  
> text ”몬스타엑스" to +822336
> 
> alright, i hope you enjoy this chapter ^^
> 
> p.s.: let's hope our bunny gets well soon :(

hyungwon was dreaming about something. wonho, lili and himself were in some kind of a garden. a mesmerizing, bright garden decorated with beautiful statues. lili was laughing at something wonho said. hyungwon walked to them. he was away from them for some reason but he tried to approach them. yet no matter how much he walked, it didn’t seem like he was getting any closer. they were just standing there, talking and laughing to each other and would occasionally look back at him with warm smiles on their faces. and then they started walking away, bidding him goodbye. hyungwon started running. or at least he tried to run. but he couldn’t. he couldn’t get his limbs to move fast. he tried and tried but it didn’t work. and then he realized it must be a dream. because lili was gone and wonho.. wonho would never leave him behind like that. he wouldn’t… he forced himself to wake up.

 

opening his eyes, he heard himself panting as he sat up. the covers fell and landed on his hips. a second later, while he hadn’t quite collected himself yet, he remembered the dream. of wonho leaving him for an unknown reason. looking to the side as his hand reached out for his lover, he saw the bed was empty and cold, meaning the other had gone out of it a while back.

panicking, he threw the covers away and jumped down as he pulled the robe on his skin and tied the belt.

he checked the bathroom first but it was empty. walking fast steps, he opened the bedroom door. the smooth sound of piano sent a spark of relief throughout his entire stressed out body. but not completely. it was a sad melody. the older always played sad melodies when he was… sad. but there was no reason to be sad. sure he was stressed out because of the whole concert hall situation but it didn’t qualify for the piece that was being played at that moment. and the older definitely didn’t look sad after their lovemaking the night before.

 

walking the few steps to the room across from their bedroom, he turned the knob slowly and opened the door. as expected, wonho was sitting behind the lilic grand piano. the one that always reminded him of his sister’s beautiful hair.

the older was pressing the keys with the fingers of his right hand. his left arm was on the fallboard and he had his forehead resting on it. the piano was placed such that the other had his back to the door. wonho’s aura screamed _‘sad’_

 

inhaling, hyungwon started walking toward his boyfriend, making sure that his feet made a bit of sound so that the other knew he was there and wouldn’t get startled. yet wonho didn’t react to it at all.

reaching the piano, hyungwon stood behind the older and placed his palm on his shoulder gently and rubbed his back a bit.

“ what is it baby? “ he asked quietly.

he felt how his lover’s body shivered under his palm but the older didn’t say anything and just continued playing.

hyungwon didn’t push it any further, knowing by now that he had to wait a bit for the other to start talking himself. he sat down next to him as he continued caressing his clothed back, listening to the very sad minor notes quietly.

and then they stopped. it was like the whole universe was standing still with how silent their surroundings were. there wasn’t a single sound breaking the stilled atmosphere. wonho remained like that, with his head on his hand and then, in that absolute silence, hyungwon heard the sound of the tears dropping on the black and white keys.

after long minutes of him sitting there, terrified of what was the reason for the silent tears of his beloved, wonho sniffled and started sitting up slowly.

 

the older sat up, looked out of the window for a couple of seconds and then stood up.

hyungwon’s hand fell as the older left the chair and his heart dropped when the images of his dream came back to him. he was about to say something, to jump up and hug the other so tightly, he would never be able to leave but then wonho turned around.

he turned around after getting out of the chair and hyungwon could see how drenched in tears his face was. but the older didn’t look at him. he had his eyes on the floor.

walking the step that was separating them, wonho kneeled in front of him and leaned down, wrapped his arms around hyungwon’s waist and rest his head on his lap, hiding his face, as his body was shaking in another flow of the silent tears.

he didn’t know what had happened, he had a hundred questions floating in his head but he let his fingers travel through the equally lilic hair as gentle as he could. wonho was very much like his sister sometimes. like when he was sad, he didn’t need words. he needed the touch, the presence. something about ‘it’s the actions that talk not the meaningless words’. so hyungwon did exactly that. sitting there quietly as he caressed his boyfriend’s hair and let his other hand ghost on the arm that was around his waist.

he didn’t know how much time passed but it must have been a while when the shivers lessened a bit and then..

“ i’m sorry.. “ wonho’s voice was so broken that even though hyungwon couldn’t see his face, he could feel what sadness those beautiful dove like eyes must have had in them at that moment.

he didn’t reply and continued the soothing touches, waiting for the older to continue.

“ i’m so sorry hyungwon. i don’t deserve you. i really don’t. “ his shoulders trembled as his voice cracked.

“ shhhh, it’s okay. “ hyungwon whispered and caressed the other’s back as he leaned down a bit. “ you’re an amazing person and you certainly do deserve me.”

“ no, i-… it’s not about me. i-…” a sob made him stop and he sniffled again.

“ i can’t even bring myself to ask for forgiveness. i can’t even remember any of it..” wonho’s voice cracked again as he sobbed harder and tightened his arms around hyungwon’s waist and his body trembled intently.

“ i love you so much hyungwon. please don’t leave me. please.. “ the desperate voice of the older made his heart clench as he got out of the chair and kneeled on the ground, in front of wonho. he tried to make him look up but couldn’t manage as the older hugged him again immediately and hid his face in the crook of his neck. he could feel the tears soaking his skin.

hyungwon circled his arms around him tightly and placed a few kisses on his shoulder and neck.

“ i love you too baby. i’m not going anywhere, ever. “ he whispered in the older’s ear. he still didn’t have one clue about what was going on but he had to reassure his one and only that he wasn’t gonna leave, even if he didn’t know why the other assumed he was.

wonho’s sobs were the only sound in the whole apartment as his arms tightened around hyungwon. the older didn’t seem to be even near the point of calming down.

hyungwon’s heart was aching at the desperate behavior. he didn’t know why his lover was so insecure all of a sudden. what had happened in the few hours that they’d slept?

when wonho’s breathing pattern started getting hectic, hyungwon panicked, scared of his boyfriend losing it again.

“ shhhh, it’s okay. we’re okay. we love each other, right? we’re perfect for each other. no-one and nothing can come between our love. i love you wonho. i love you so much. “ he whispered in the older’s ear as he caressed his lilic hair and slipped his hand under his shirt to caress the skin of his back. wonho’s body was burning.

“ i- “ it seemed like he wanted to talk but the rush of tears and the shortage of air in his lungs didn’t let him. he started panting and hyungwon knew a panic attack was on its way.

he leaned back easily, as wonho didn’t seem to have much strength left and cupped his cheeks, lifting his face to be able to look at him. he was really pale.

wonho avoided hyungwon’s eyes and just stared at the floor while he raised on of his hands and grabbed his shirt where his heart was.

“ i’m sorry hyungwon. i’m so sorry i hurt you. but if i did it once, there’s no guaranty i’m not gonna do it again and i.. i don’t want that to happen. you’re too precious to be treated like that. “ wonho winced as his hand tightened on his shirt and stood up. without looking in hyungwon’s eyes, he turned around and ran out of the room and before hyungwon could even react, he was out of the apartment.

he didn’t know what to do. wonho was not in a condition to be left alone. not with the waterfall of tears or the way he seemed to be in pain and not his mental estate. so hyungwon ran after him after a couple of minutes of standing in the living room, shocked and not knowing what the hell was going on. he ran out of the elevator as soon as it was on the first floor, to the street. but no matter how long he looked around, he didn’t see wonho. he went to the parking lot and saw the car was there so he was actually relieved that he at least wasn’t driving.

 

going back up to the apartment, he grabbed his phone and dialed the older’s number but after around 10 times he gave up.

so he decided to call the others.

“ hey wonnie “ minhyuk greeted him in a sweet tone.

“ min.. “ he only managed to keep his voice steady until then and he suddenly broke into tears. “ he left “

there was a few seconds of silence.

“ w-what do you mean he left?! “ minhyuk’s voice was showing how shocked and slightly afraid he was.

“ he just left. he said he can’t guaranty he won’t hurt me again and just left. i don’t even know what it was about. i followed him but he was already gone.. “ his voice cracked and he let himself slide down the wall as the tears ran down his face. “ i can’t live without him min.. “

“ it’s okay… it’s okay.. just.. hang on hyungwon. i’m on my way there. “

 

 

 

around 15 minutes later, minhyuk was there. he entered the password himself and got in, finding hyungwon right next to the door, on the ground and crying his eyes out silently.

without a word, he crouched down and pulled the younger into his arms. hyungwon hugged him back desperately.

“ he doesn’t pick up. i’ve called him a million times but he doesn’t pick up. what if something happened to him? he was hurt. i’m so scared min. what if he does something stupid? what if- “ he was rambling, his nerves getting to him.

“ hyungwon “ minhyuk cut him.

“ breath, calm down and tell me what happened. “ he paused “ but before any of that, let’s go inside. “ he pulled the taller up and guided him to the couch.

hyungwon did manage to calm himself down a bit.

“ i woke up and found him crying. he hugged me, asking me not to leave him. and then suddenly, his face changed and he said he doesn’t wanna hurt me again. he didn’t even look at me.. “ he wiped his tears with the sleeve of his robe.

“ i don’t understand. he never hurt me. not once. i don’t know what he’s talking about.. “ he said as he dialed wonho’s number again.

minhyuk was looking at him and listening to the sound of the beeps that wasn’t picked up.

“ i.. think i know what this is about.. “ he said and with that he got hyungwon’s attention as those big eyes landed on him.

“ you never told us what happened but.. hoseok, he said something about wonho ‘raping’ you.. and then when he was back, you told us not to say anything because it seemed like he doesn’t remember any of it.. so, maybe he remembered?.. that’s the only thing that could make him unstable like this.”

hyungwon paled as he stared at minhyuk and keeping his breath. “ no “

“ no no no no.. he can’t remember that. he should never remember that “ he began to panic, thinking about the outcome of the older remembering the incident. “ we have to find him min. please, please find him before he does something stupid or just disappears again. “ he was practically begging the other with his eyes.

“ relax won! even if this is the case, it’s gonna be okay. we should just give him a couple of days and he’ll be back on his own. he can’t stay away from you.”minhyuk said as he took his phone out.

“ you don’t understand. he is perfectly capable of hurting himself, in more ways than one. please min.. “

“ my phone is dying. “ min said as he threw his phone on the coffee table and rubbed his face with both palms. he knew he couldn’t track wonho down. he never let anyone be able to track him down through his devices.

“ i know i can’t but let’s just give it a try. do you know the password to his pc? my stupid ass forgot to take the laptop. “

hyungwon hesitated a bit“ no… but you can use mine. “

“ no it won’t do. general laptops don’t have what i need to do the work. “ minhyuk shook his head.

“ let’s just hack into his pc then. we don’t have any other choice. “

they both stood up and went to the studio room. the pc was on, but it was on sleep mode, meaning they’d have to put in the pass.

“ give me your phone. “ minhyuk said and held his hand in front of the taller as he sat behind the pc.

he got the phone and opened their group chat.

_‘ if you see or hear from wonho, inform me. ‘_

“ before anything, let’s try this… “ minhyuk said mostly to himself and entered a password. ‘ 15011994 ‘

“ AHA! i told you there’s no need to be concerned. he even has your whole birth date as the password hyungwon! “ he said looking back at the younger who was still calling his boyfriend and only gave him a glance before going back to pacing back and forth around the room.

there was a video open on the screen. the thumbnail was wonho himself so minhyuk decided to play it and see if there was any clue of what exactly happened.

 

_‘ first of all, i had no idea how to record and put this here and i had to ask that mean kai for help so you better appreciate this! ‘_

 

upon hearing his boyfriend’s voice, hyungwon hung up the phone and got closer to the screen.

minhyuk paused the video. “ what does he mean he didn’t know how to record?! “ he asked confused.

hyungwon’s eyes wandered a bit in thought until he got it.

“ it’s not him! it’s hoseok. min, play the video. hurry. “ his tears had dried on his face.

 

_‘ i wanna tell you about what happened because i figured being the sweetheart he is, hyungwon will never tell you. but you should know so you can treat him like the perfect human being he is and not become an asshole once you spend a few years together and get used to each other._

_they kidnapped you again, wonho. and you witnessed something so violent that you weren’t even yourself anymore. you pushed everyone away and didn’t really pay attention to him. and then.. i still can’t understand it but you went completely nuts and.. you went really rough on him. so rough, he had to beg you to stop because you were hurting him. you left bruises all over his body. if you look close enough, i’m sure the trace of the scratch on his cheek is not gone yet._

_i decided that i should let you take control again at some point because as much as i wanna live too, i don’t know anything about the outside world and he loves you. and i love him so i don’t wanna see him miserable. you have no idea how lonely, terrified and helpless he has been these months. but you’re still not okay and i can feel it so i have to stay a bit longer.._

_when you see this, i want you to not break down again. instead, i want you to hug him so tight and never let him go and always, always treat him the best you can. you can never find anyone that loves you as much as he does wonho. he deserves everything and you should give him your all. or else, i’m gonna take over and never let you out again. treat him well for both of us. ‘_

 

when the video finished, none of them said anything for minutes.

“ won..” minhyuk looked at the younger who was kneeling on the ground with his head leaning on the edge of the table.

“ don’t say anything. “ hyungwon interrupted him “ he wasn’t himself when he did that. it’s a basic human mental coping strategy. what he did is not his fault. and i should find him, i should hug him and tell him that it’s never been his fault. “ he stood up and went to the bedroom to get dressed.

“ where are you going? “ min asked when he saw hyungwon walking toward the door.

“ searching for him. “ he said as he put his shoes on.

“ wait. let’s go together. i can’t track him down like this anyway. “

 

they spent the whole day searching every possible place they both could think of. the company called hyungwon, asking why the hell they weren’t there for practice and he had to lie, saying wonho was really sick.

 

“ you can stop if you’re tired. i still wanna search for him. “ hyungwon argued as minhyuk basically dragged him inside the apartment.

“ and where are you gonna search? we went everywhere. we even checked every hospital. we can’t find him when he doesn’t wanna be found. “

minhyuk laid down on the carpet and hyungwon sat on the couch, eyes glued to the door all the time.

 

 

***********

 

**MX squad**

 

 

 

 **Ki.HamD:** still nothing?

 

 **WhaleMin:** yeah..

 

 **Ki.HamD:** i’m gonna punch the hell out of him for this.

 

 **kkukkung:** hyung!

 

 **ki.HamD:** No! hyungwon doesn’t deserve this shit!

 

 **JHoney:** alright, let’s calm down.

 **JHoney:** from what min told us, he thinks if he stays, he’s gonna hurt him again. and we all know how his brain works..

 

 **kkukkung:** how is he?

 

 **WhaleMin:** not good.

 **WhaleMin:** i’ve wrapped two blankets around him and he’s still cold but refuses to go to bed.

 

 **Ki.HamD:** should i come over? make him eat something at least?

 

 **WhaleMin:** no ki! your wife is close to giving birth any second now. we can’t risk anything. besides, he won’t eat.

 

 **ShoBearNu:** guys.. he just showed up on my door.

 **ShoBearNu:** and i’ve never seen him like this before. he’s a complete mess.

 

 

***********

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me :D


	94. Ninety Four

he couldn’t figure it out. no matter how hard he forced his brain to think of a solution, a way that could guaranty he wouldn’t go berserk again, he couldn’t find any. if he had done it once, there was always a very good chance he’d do it again.

he knew he was fucked up in the head. he knew it very well although his own psychiatrist lover and his close friends always tried to make him believe otherwise. after all, he had done whatever there was to do. drugs, alcohol, crime, creating this hoseok guy, being a fuckboy, attempting to end himself, hurting other people’s emotions intentionally or unintentionally. but this, hurting hyungwon was the cherry on top. it was a line that should have never been crossed. and now there was nothing he could do to undo it.

it didn’t matter if hyungwon had forgiven him or if he didn’t think it was his fault. because it was. he had done it. he couldn’t remember what that maniac made him do for him to lose it like that but it didn’t really matter. he had done something so terrible, he could never look his perfect hyungwon in the eye ever again.

his heart was aching so bad and he felt dizzy. but he couldn’t stay. he couldn’t misuse the beautiful boy’s affection and love toward himself. there was no way that deep down hyungwon wasn’t actually hurt by the whole thing. he still remembered asking him what the small scar on his cheek was and the younger had laughed it off nervously, saying he had hit the wall while walking sleepily. he knew he was lying but didn’t push it. he should’ve pushed it. he should’ve made him say it out loud and yell at him for what he’d done. hyungwon should’ve thrown him out of his life. instead, he embraces him so warmly and never even mentioned it.

he felt like dying. what was life without hyungwon? nothing. simply nothing. he wished his heart would give out and that he would just drop dead right on the spot. death always seemed like a good end to all the suffering and the problems.

he got in a taxi as soon as he got out of the building. the driver asked him the destination but he just told him to drive far away.

 _‘ are you okay mr. shin? is something the matter? ‘_  the old driver asked, looking at him with worry through the rearview mirror.

he looked back at the man  _‘ i lost everything ‘_

the old man did exactly as he was asked. he drove far far away until they were by the sea, in the town he had grown up. in the place he and hyungwon had confessed to each other at last.

_‘ my mother lives here. she cooks deliciously. why don’t we go there so you can relax a bit and enjoy a good meal? ‘_

he didn’t understand why this old man was so kind to him. he was as old as his grandfather when he was but a kid and was abused by their harsh words every day. he didn’t have anywhere else to go or anything to do so he nodded, not really able to function. and that’s how they ended up in a very old grandmother’s house. the lady must have been around 90 something but she was really active and energetic for her age.

 _‘ oh my. you’re very handsome my boy. come in. come in. ‘_ the old lady welcomed them kindly.

 

 

he sat on the porch, looking at the dogs and hens going around as he leaned his head and body on the column next to him.

“ here. drink this. it helps you calm down. “ the old man said as he handed him a cup of.. some kind of tea? he didn’t care. they could poison him and do whatever they wanted with him. he just didn’t care anymore. after all, there was no explanation for the kind way they were treating him. they must have wanted something in return. people always wanted something in return. everyone except for his hyungwon. he never wanted anything and just continuously gave him his all.

biting down hard on his bottom lip, he took the cup and drank it all in one go. it was really hot and it burned his throat but it didn’t matter. he deserved all the pain there was in the whole world for having done such a terrible thing.

his phone started vibrating again. it had just stopped for maybe 15 minutes. he couldn’t dare to pick up. he didn’t know what to say to the beautiful boy that was calling him nonstop.

taking the device out of his pocket, he looked at the screen.  _‘pinkwon’_ and a picture of the ethereal boy was showing on it.

“ don’t you wanna pick it up? he must be really worried. “ the man said with a gentle tone.

“ i.. can’t. it’s better this way. “ he said quietly and put the phone on the ground next to him.

“ better for who? for you? “

he shook his head slowly. “ for him “

there was a silence surrounding them for a few minutes. only the sound of the animals breaking it.

“ i don’t know what happened. but from what i see, your phone hasn’t stopped ringing the whole time. maybe you should let him decide what’s better for him”

the old man said while petting one of the dogs.

wonho kept looking at him. and the area. it looked peaceful. they were in the same town but this house was so so calm, unlike the one he had grown up in just a couple of streets away.

 

“ help me set the table my boy. i cooked you many delicious things. “ the grandma said as he gestured for him to follow her inside the house. “ why are you sitting out there in this weather. “

without saying a word, he set the table together with the man and sat behind the small traditional table on the ground.

“ well what are you waiting for? start eating! you look like you could faint any second. “ the lady pushed a pair of chopsticks in his hand.

wonho bowed his head as he picked a piece of meat but he just couldn’t bring himself to eat. his stomach was aching like crazy and he felt like vomiting. there was no way he could down anything. he put the chopsticks on the table slowly.

“ what? you don’t like this? you should’ve told me what you like, then i would’ve made you that. “ the grandmother said.

it was getting on his nerves. the driver taking him to his mother’s house and this lady just treating him like his own out of nowhere.

“ you don’t need to do this. “ he said as he kept looking down at his hand on the table.

“ do what? “ the lady asked.

“ this. cooking me food and being nice. why are you even being nice to me? “ he pointed at the pile of food on the table as he spoke a bit harshly, letting out all the frustration in his chest.

the grandmother and his son were both quite shocked at his outburst. the old lady smiled warmly as she put her wrinkly hand on his and squeezed it a bit.

“ being nice doesn’t need a reason. my son brought you here and i know him. he is a good person so you should be a good person too. and you look sad. so even if you don’t have an appetite, eat. people always think better with a full stomach. “ she said and put a bowl of soup in front of him. “ go on “

chewing on his bottom lip, he ignored his phone that was still vibrating nonstop and picked the spoon up. but he couldn’t even manage to put it in his mouth when he suddenly broke down again and the tears started falling once more. it was the first time he was crying in front of people he didn’t know like this.  _‘ crying is for the weak. men shouldn’t cry. ‘_ his grandfather’s voice rang in his ear. he told him that once he started crying because he was told some cruel thing about being such a burden yet again. back then, he wasn’t even allowed to cry as he liked.

“ oh my poor boy. what’s wrong? come here. “ the old lady said as she slid closer and wrapped her thin arms around him tightly and started patting his back. she guided his head on her chest and caressed his hair softly.

wonho couldn’t help it. he was sobbing loudly like a baby. he wrapped his arms around hers as he hid his face in the fabric of her blouse.

“ cry my boy. let it all out. “ and just like that, it was like the door that he had locked for many, many years finally opened and all of the pain and the hurt was let out. he couldn’t tell for how long he kept on crying and soaking the other’s clothes in his endless tears.

“ what am i supposed to do now? i left without even saying goodbye. how am i supposed to live from now on? i can’t even breathe without him. “ he said between his breathless sobs and realized a second too late that he had basically told the old lady that he was in love with a man. the shock made him stop crying for a moment, ready to be pushed away.

but to his surprise, the latter didn’t react in any way and only caressed him with more passion. “ you love him a lot, don’t you? “

“ he’s my other half. he’s my everything. “ he sniffled “ i.. i only felt completely alive since he came into my life. without him, i’m as good as dead. “

“ well, he clearly loves you just as much. just look at how he hasn’t given up on calling you. he must be worried sick. “ the old woman said as she wiped his tears with the scarf around her neck.

“ he does. he loves me but i don’t deserve it. i don’t deserve any of the things he does for me. and he has done a lot. “ he shook his head as he leaned back, sat properly and tried to finally get himself together. he wasn’t supposed to be this open with people he didn’t know. they could always use it against him in so many ways. but for some unknown reason, he really felt in place there.

the lady patted her leg “ put your head here. “

wonho’s eyes widened as he looked back and forth between her face and her hand that was on her thigh. she wanted him to lay his head on her lap? but why?!

the other must have read his expression as she tilted her head “ why? you never lied on your grandmother’s lap before? “

“ my family wasn’t exactly the loving type. “ he murmured and leaned down.

she smelled like exactly how old people smelled but there was some warmth to it. it was strange but as soon as the old lady’s fingers started brushing through his hair, it was like he was shot with those things they used to inject him back at the hospital, the ones that calmed him down immediately.

wonho exhaled and closed his eyes, basking in the affection the grandmother was gifting him with.

“ there are times, people do regretful things to their loved ones. things they can’t forgive themselves for. but you should always consider the person you hurt in the first place as well. wouldn’t it hurt him more if you disappeared on him like this now? if he is willing to forgive, maybe you are worthy of that second chance and the love he gives you. it’s the first time i see you and it’s true that we don’t know each other but i’ve been around for 94 years now. i can tell what people are like with the look they have in their eyes. and you, my handsome boy, i can tell that your heart is broken. i bet you are strong. but there are days that one gets broken beyond repair. when you feel the hurt to the very core of your soul. but what matters, is how you put the broken pieces back together. i don’t know what you did, but leaving like this will only break him again. he will be left thinking you didn’t love him enough to try and overcome the hardness.” she said quietly as she continued caressing his hair.

“ you know, my husband, i loved him more than anyone else. and he loved me too. our love was the talk of this whole area. after we got married, when we had our third child, he lost his job. he was having a hard time and one night he got really drunk and he beat me up really bad. the next day, when i woke up, he wasn’t there anymore. he only left a letter, saying he was sorry and that he can’t look me or the kids in the eye anymore. he sent money for us until the day he died. and then, when we had to go collect his things from the house he rented, the pictures of the whole family was everywhere. i heard from one of his friends later that he always kept talking about how he loved us and how terribly he was missing us. “  she paused and squeezed wonho’s forearm. “ go back to him. if you are sorry, go back to him and shower him with all of your love and affection until the day you die. don’t let the both of you suffer like this. you’ll only regret it at the moment the angel is coming to take you. don’t live a life of regrets and what-ifs. “

 

 

they were on their way back to the city. the old man, trying to lift his mood, told him his daughter and son were both my fans and that he knew basically everything the fans knew because they were always talking about him. he even knew hyungwon and told him he is lucky to have such a handsome boyfriend.

_‘ here. mom said to give you these so you can eat them together with hyungwon later. ‘_

wonho took the many containers of food, being utterly speechless by the unconditional love.

_‘ are you sure you don’t want me to drive you back to your place? ‘_

the answer was obviously a yes. he was sure that he was still not ready to accept the risks. and that’s how he ended up in front of shownu’s door at 11pm. he was the only one who wouldn’t attack him with a million questions.

 

 

“ you look like shit. “

shownu said as he gave him a beer can that he took and placed on the table. it wasn’t like he was able to drink it anyway.

the older sat down next to him and sipped on his own drink quietly.

“ have you talked to him? “ he asked after a long silence. shownu hummed and took another sip without looking at him. he was upset. it was really rare to see him upset.

“ how is he? “ wonho asked, playing with his shirt.

“ how do you expect him to be? “ shownu looked at him for a few seconds with a raised eyebrow before looking away again.

“ what you did wasn’t cool, man. you fucked up real big this time. i hope you have plans on how to make it up to him. “ he paused “ he searched the entire town wonho. every corner, every station, every hospital. minhyuk had to literally drag him back to the house. “ he emptied his can and threw it to the bin across the living room, successfully.

“ i don’t. “ wonho whispered and threw his head back, staring at the ceiling that was designed with crystals.

“ hm? “ shownu looked at him puzzled.

“ i don’t have a plan on how to make it up to him. i don’t even know if i should go back or just leave. he deserves to be with someone better. someone who never hurts him. “ his stomach pulsed again, screaming at him for the nth time but he ignored it once more. the only thing he did was to put his palm on it subconsciously.

“ there is no such thing as a relationship without getting hurt. sure, what happened was extreme but it doesn’t mean you two are over. he is in pain won. if you don’t make it up to him, i don’t wanna be your friend anymore. hyungwon doesn’t deserve this. not after everything. “ shownu said before leaving him all alone in his gigantic living room. he must’ve fucked up really bad this time for even shownu to say that.

 

 

~

 

 

 

it had been around three hours now since they got the message from shownu, saying wonho was at his place. hyungwon had stared at his phone for a long time, longer than normal and then locked it, threw it away and lied down on the sofa while wrapping the blankets tighter around himself and quite visibly trembling at how cold he was despite the temperature being okay.

but after three hours, he had suddenly jumped up without a warning, startling minhyuk as he was half asleep by the sofa.

“ where are you going? “ he asked as he stood up and followed hyungwon who was going toward the entrance.

“ to shownu’s. “ the younger said with an empty impression.

he didn’t make it even to the hallway when the digits sounded in the apartment and the door opened.

hyungwon stood on his track as he stared at the figure that had just come inside.

it was wonho. he looked like he had lost weight in those hours he had been away. minhyuk, knowing that things would get personal, squeezed hyungwon’s shoulder and left without as much of a glance toward the singer.

 

 

wonho didn’t dare to look into his boyfriend’s eyes. the only thing he let himself do was taking his shoes off and taking a few steps toward the taller.

hyungwon stood there, looking at him as his chest rose and fell, breathing heavily.

after long minutes, the younger closed the distance between them and stood right in front of him.

“ look up “ he said with a demanding tone, so unlike the way he had talked to him till then.

wonho slowly lifted his head and hesitantly looked at those big eyes. as soon as their eyes met, hyungwon slapped him hard. the sound echoed through the otherwise silent apartment. wonho didn’t let the pain show and looked back at the latter again after a couple of seconds. another slap. he had no idea hyungwon was capable of such strength. the skin of his cheek was on fire. but of course he deserved them and more.

“ you can’t leave me, you hear me? you’re not  _allowed_ to leave me. “ hyungwon said, teary eyes jumping from his left eye to his right.

“ i don’t care about you and lili’s philosophy on how no-one belongs to anyone,  _you_  are mine. “ his bottom lip was trembling.

“ and i am yours. i will fucking rip you apart if you do this ever again. got it? “  a tear rolled down on his blushed cheek due to the frustration.

wonho was staring at him with widened eyes and parted lips. he couldn’t bear the sight. hyungwon was beyond devastated. he was trembling badly and the look on his face was just of pure helplessness. once again, he had made his beautiful boyfriend miserable.

“ GOT IT? “ the younger yelled and wonho flinched as his eyes grew wider and he nodded rapidly.

“ good. “ hyungwon said firmly before he pulled him in and smashed their lips together. wonho’s hands circled around the younger’s waist automatically but it took him a few seconds to register what was happening and kissing back. he could feel the heat that was coming off of hyungwon’s body. he was really hot.

the kiss didn’t last more than 10 seconds as wonho leaned back with a bit of struggle, hyungwon was holding onto him very tightly, and placed his palm on the younger’s forehead and cheeks.

“ baby, you’re burning. “ he said quietly and cursed himself a million times in his head for all the shit he had put his beautiful lover through that day and literally making his sick like this.

“ promise me. promise me you won’t leave. i can’t live without you. i don’t care about what you did. it healed. i’m okay now. promise me..” hyungwon’s voice broke as the tears kept rolling down. his eyes were extremely sad.

“ i won’t. i promise i’ll always be by your side. always. “ wonho said and wiped the tears with his thumbs.

“ but you should promise me back. if i ever lose my mind like that again, you should stop me. stab me or whatever, i don’t care. never, NEVER, let me do something like that to you ever again hyungwon. okay? “ he said as he held his tears back.

the taller, who ironically looked so small at that moment, sniffled a couple of times before slowly nodding. wonho wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. hyungwon hugged him back immediately and buried his head in wonho’s neck as he sobbed loudly and gripped on the older’s shirt for dear life.

“ i -… “ he coughed between the sobs “ i was so scared. i thought… i thought you really left me won. i though i lost you. i- … “

“ shshsh, i was only away for less than a day but that was more than a lifetime to me. i realized i can never be away from you. i wanted to kill myself the minute i walked out of here because without you by my side, everything is meaningless. “ he caressed the pink hair he loved so much and inhaled his boyfriend’s scent. “ you are my whole world hyungwon. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry for all of this. i’m such a mess and i make your life a mess too. i’d stay away if i could but.. i can’t. i simply love you too much. i’m sorry for what i did baby. i’m so fucking sorry. “ wonho bit hard on his lip not to break into tears again. he couldn’t. not when hyungwon was shaking in his arms like that.

“ don’t say that. you made my life beautiful. “ the younger leaned back a bit and looked at his eyes. “ i know we have our ups and downs but i love every second i spend with you. i don’t regret anything. i knew what i signed up for wonho. don’t think you’re a burden on me. you’re not. you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. “ he said as his delicate long fingers brushed over wonho’s cheek that was probably red due to the two hard slaps.

hyungwon leaned in and pressed a kiss on the red skin, keeping the contact for a few seconds.

“ you’re the best thing that ever happened to me as well. “ he whispered into his small ear.

when hyungwon leaned back again, wonho noticed beads of sweat forming on the younger’s face.

“ let’s get you to bed baby. you’re having a fever. “ he lead them to the bedroom and helped hyungwon change into his pyjamas before tucking him under two blankets.

he stood up to go get a bowl of water and towels and some medicine as hyungwon’s hand stopped him when he took his wrist.

“ where are you going? “ he asked with a very tired voice. he was sweating like crazy and his eyes were half-lidded. his skin was really pale for his skin color and he was panting.

“ i’m getting towels and pills. i promised hyungwon. i’m not going anywhere. “

 

 

the night was long. hyungwon’s fever was at 38.9 C and he had to force so much juice down his throat between the times he changed the towels. it was obvious that the younger was fighting with his body not to fall asleep, scared that he would disappear if he did but his brain put him to sleep nevertheless only for wonho to force him up again.

it was around 7 AM when his fever was finally gone and he had stopped sweating. the older had to make him sit up as he changed hyungwon’s wet clothes two times. now that he was finally back to a normal temperature and sleeping soundly, wonho let himself fall next to his pink-haired beauty on the bed and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close in his embrace.

he could never forget this, nor could he forgive himself. but he was gonna make sure to remind his lover that he must stop him in case of that situation happening again. he was gonna make sure that hyungwon understood what it meant. he was serious when he said he had to be stopped even if it meant he would be stabbed.

with a last kiss on hyungwon’s forehead, he closed his eyes and let the darkness take over him, wishing he’d have a peaceful sleep with no dreams.

 

 

 

he didn’t know what time it was. only that he felt something move along his forehead and then his nose and lips. opening his eyes, wonho saw hyungwon’s ethereal face in front of him as he was sliding his index finger on his face gently.

“ hey “ the gorgeous boy said smiling warmly.

“ you’re so beautiful “ wonho said as he, once again, was overwhelmed by what he saw.

hyungwon chuckled and rubbed his head on his chest repeatedly, making his own hair messier than it already was. it tickled his skin so he wrapped his arms tighter around his boyfriend and pulled him flush against his bare chest, making him stop the movement.

they fell into a comfortable silence as hyungwon pressed kisses on his skin.

“ i met a grandma yesterday. she was really lovely. she told me to bring you to her so that she could make us delicious food. she actually gave me the food she made yesterday to eat together with you but i forgot them at shown’s place. he probably ate them all by now. “ they both laughed at the mention of the eldest’s appetite.

“ how did you end up at a grandma’s house?! “ hyungwon asked as he looked up at him, cheek pressed on his chest and his fingers drawing patterns on his forearm.

wonho told him all about the day before. the old man and his kids, the dogs and hens, the grandma and the things she had told him. her being the main reason he decided to come back and not jump off some bridge.

“ i really feel the need to meet her. i have to thank her for giving you back to me. “ hyungwon said after listening to it all quietly.

“ we’ll go there after the tour, hm? “ wonho said as he pecked his lips.

“ let’s get ready. i think jongup will murder both of us if we don’t show up for the practices today. “

“ aaah~ and here i was, thinking we could just stay like this for the rest of the day.. “ the younger sighed deeply and sat up, ruffling his hair.

wonho sat up after him and hugged hyungwon from behind.

“ wonnie, i wasn’t joking. you should stop me if i- “ he wasn’t able to finish his sentence when the younger’s index finger landed on his lips.

“ i know. i’ll have to stab you if i have to. i got it the first time you said it. but i don’t think it’s gonna happen again. “ he tilted his head to the side and kissed wonho’s cheek.

“ let’s go. not only jongup, but shownu also will murder us. “

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this last night but forgot to update!!!!!!!!!!!  
> i hope it wasn't bad cuz well my mood was shitty when writing it... anyways.. 4 wins was all we could get the boys this comeback. i hope the fandom will grow with dedicated fans until the next one :)  
> 


	95. Ninety Five

**WonHo**

****

**2,940,919 likes       581,003 comments**

When did you grow up so much? you were as big as a kimbap when i last saw you three months ago! how did i lose so much in mere three months? i feel like i wanna stick in this city by your side forever to witness every inch you grow..!

 

***********

 

 

( 3 months ago )

 

 

the world tour had started and they had just finished their second and last night in their city. they would leave for their first destination in a week.

tonight, after the concert had finished and they were on their way backstage, wonho was teasing hyungwon about something he had done on stage. they were playing around and giggling, energetic from the adrenaline of the after-concert, when suddenly hyungwon flew down the stairs and landed on his left knee. he had his two palms on the ground as he was on all fours. 

wonho had never ran down the stairs that fast in his entire life.

“ wonnie, fuck, are you okay baby? “ he said as he put his hand on hyungwon’s back carefully, not wanting to hurt him further.

the younger had his head hung low as he winced in pain and tried to get up but failed and held himself on his right knee and palms instead.

“ah,..  my knee hurts so bad.. “ he exhaled shakily.

wonho hugged his waist carefully and helped him turn around and sit. it was a hard and painful process but they managed. it took a couple of minutes for him to do that small turning around action with how slowly they did it.

shownu and other dancers along with a few of the staff members were circling around them and looking at the situation with worried eyes.

“ please tell me i didn’t hurt my knee right before the tour. “ hyungwon said desperately, eyebrows frowning due to the amount of pain he was enduring and the thought of having to stay behind again.

wonho looked at him with extremely worried, sad and teary eyes before he looked back at his knee.

“ shownu “ the older called as he looked around in search of the dancer.

“ yeah won? “ 

“ can you please take him to the hospital? i still have the hi-touch. “ wonho looked up at him with such pleading eyes.

“ of course. “ shownu replied and crouched down to help the younger up.

“ no, i got it. just go get the car ready. “

wonho circled his arm around hyungwon’s thigh and the other around his waist.

“ try and keep your knee in the position it is right now as i lift you up. “ he said as he looked into the pained face of his boyfriend who nodded, eyes not leaving his own knee. the younger circled his arm around wonho’s neck as he lift him up and kept his knee in the position it was with so much effort. it really hurt like a bitch.

the older walked carefully toward the exit. shownu was already there in his car, waiting for them.

the dancer opened the backseat door for them and helped wonho at putting him inside the vehicle.

“ i’m sorry i can’t come with you now. i’ll come as soon as the hi-touch is over. “ the older said as he caressed his cheek with his thumb, looking at him with such apologetic expression and a weak smile that was meant to be reassuring.

“ it’s fine. i understand. i’ll just.. “ he moved to get himself more comfortable and didn’t expect the pain that shot through his entire body. he winced and placed his hand on his knee that was resting on the backseat.

“ Careful! “ wonho said anxiously but got himself under control and rubbed his own palm over hyungwon’s on the latter’s knee.

“ take good care of yourself until i get there. “ he said gently before turning to look at shownu. “ take him to the central hospital and ask for doctor Lee jong suk. i’ll call him to let him know you’re on your way. “ the older said and with one last caress on his cheek, he crawled out and closed the door, waving his hand for shownu to start the car.

 

wonho got there around three hours later. he didn’t really remember a thing from the whole hi-touch event with how his mind was with hyungwon.

walking in the direction of Dr. Lee’s room, he saw shownu and hyungwon coming from across the hallway. he was sitting on a wheelchair and wonho’s heart stopped upon seeing that.

“ what happened? what did they say? does it still hurt? “ he asked as soon as he stopped running toward them and knelt down in front of the younger.

“ don’t sit on the floor won! it’s not clean here. “ hyungwon said upon seeing his knees getting in touch with the white floor.

“ we’re just back from getting an MRI. we should show it to dr. lee now. “ the younger pointed at the doctor’s room. he was a bit pale.

wonho stood up and brushed hyungwon’s hair off his face to the sides and nodded at shownu.

knocking on the doctor’s door, wonho held it open after they were given the permission for shownu to take hyungwon inside.

“ oh wonho! long time no see man! “ dr. lee stood up and circled his desk, hugging the singer tightly as he patted his back firmly.

“ sorry suk, i just didn’t have many chances in getting hurt as i’ve been on hiatus. i’ll make sure to make it up to you. “ wonho giggled and earned himself a slap on his bicep by the doctor who was looking at him fondly with the brightest smile on his face. you could say hyungwon did not like their little encounter.

“ don’t be ridiculous. i don’t wanna see any other broken bone or spring or whatever on you. you’ve injured everything there is to injure once at least during these years! not to mention your knee condition!” dr. lee said as he crossed his arms on his chest and looked down at wonho. he was probably taller than hyungwon.

the singer smiled crookedly at that as he had never mentioned anything about his knee to the other two present in the room. it was just something he kept to himself as it was something that came from time to time when he overworked himself to the fullest both on stage and in the gym.

“ anyway, shownu, give me the MRI please. “ the doctor stretched his hand toward the dancer.

as he went to put the results on the board, wonho knelt down in front of hyungwon again and took both of his hands in his, placing kisses on each one carefully and rubbing them with his thumbs. not only pale, the younger was also cold.

“ hmmm, you’re very lucky hyungwon. nothing is broken. your bones don’t even have a scratch on them. with what you told me and how in pain you were before the painkiller, i was sure you’re injured but there’s nothing. “ dr. lee turned around and smiled at him genuinely.

“ it’s not even swollen. you’re thin but your bones seem to be strong in built. you’re good. “ he winked at him and went back to his desk and sat on his chair as he wrote something down.

the doctor had quite a playful and cheery personality. 

“ wonho, mind putting your handsome boyfriend on the bed for me? “ the doctor said with a smirk as he looked at the singer with a naughty gaze.

“ on bed? for you? never “ wonho looked at the doctor, smirked back and giggled right after.

hyungwon was sure his face was as red as a tomato from the obvious innuendo and squeezed the older’s hand in warning.

wonho turned back to him instantly and mouthed ‘ sorry ‘ with a slight smile.

“ hold on to me baby “ the older said as he carefully hugged hyungwon and lifted him up from the wheelchair, putting him on the bed as gently as he could. if his knee was okay, why the fuck was hyungwon in so much pain even though he took pain killer an hour ago?

“ i’m gonna show you how to massage hyungwon’s knee. his bones are okay but the muscle tissues are tensed. you need to massage them in order to loosen them again. “ dr. lee explained as he walked toward the bed. he started massaging his knee slowly while explaining to wonho every step and the things he had to be careful about.

“ just do this for two days and it should be okay. “ then he looked at hyungwon “ if, by any chance, you still had the slightest amount of pain after a couple of days, come here again and we’ll do dry needling. “  hyungwon nodded and wanted nothing more than to go home, shower and go to sleep. he was really sleepy and the sweat that had dried on his skin was driving him insane. not to add the fact that he was in pain and the doctor’s way of looking at his boyfriend was pretty much on his nerves.

“ is there any medication he should get? “ shownu asked, hyungwon suspected to break the invisible tension.

“ no. just buy some painkillers on your way home if you don’t have any. “ he stood straight and smiled at the dancer. yep, he was definitely taller than hyungwon.

 

 

 

 

“ here. hold onto my shoulder. “ wonho said as he helped hyungwon put his sweatpants on. his expression was of pure helplessness.

“ i told you it’s not your fault. i didn’t see the steps myself! “ the younger said as he put his hand on wonho’s shoulder for support as he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “ and it’s not even serious. even the doctor said it’ll be okay in a couple days. “ the hard process of showering and putting his clothes on was finally done. every little movement caused him pain but he hid most of it cuz his lover didn’t need to know exactly how much it hurt. he felt guilty enough as it was for no reason what-so-ever.

“ i was the one distracting you. if i wasn’t talking to you, you would be looking to the front and you’d see those fucking stairs. “ wonho mumbled quietly as it was obvious he was punching himself in his head. he helped hyungwon to lie down on the bed as he put a pillow under his left knee.

“ is it comfortable? “ he asked as his hands were still in the air close to his knee. hyungwon giggled and nodded.

“ yeah it is. can you hug me? i’m in terrible need of your embrace now. “ 

“ of course pinkwonnie. “ he leaned in and pecked the younger’s lips.

“ just let me go get a glass of water for you first. “

wonho sprinted out of the bedroom and hyungwon was left smiling to himself. he always put a glass of water on the nightstand cuz he was often thirsty during the night. now that he wasn’t able to get it himself, the fact that his lover remembered to do it for him, warmed his heart even more.

wonho came back and put the glass on his side. 

“ i’ll put it here but wake me up if you’re thirsty. don’t move to take it yourself. “ he said before turning around their round bed and crawling on it right next to hyungwon.

“ mmm, i will. “ he said with a smile although he was perfectly capable of getting the glass himself but didn’t wanna make the other sad by declining. he knew he would be sad if he did. something about not being able to do anything for him in that situation.

wonho got closer to him and covered them both with the fluffy blanket.

“ take your shirt off. i wanna feel your skin. “ hyungwon said after he figured the other had no intention on undressing although they always slept naked. he himself was wearing clothes at that moment only because he was terribly cold and the older had insisted on it.

“ but i wanna be fully clothed and ready if your pain became unbearable and we had to leave for the hospital again. “ wonho said as he looked down at him.

“ i’m really okay. now take that shirt off and give me my muscled chest. “ he poked the older’s chest playfully and licked his lips as he removed the fabric.

“ don’t lick your lips on me now. nothing’s gonna happen tonight. “ wonho warned him with a raised eyebrow as he circled his arm under hyungwon’s head and sunk his fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp gently. he intertwined his free hand’s fingers with hyungwon’s.

the younger leaned in until his face was in touch with the chest he wanted and rubbed his cheek over the smooth skin a few times as he hummed satisfyingly.

they were silent for a few minutes as wonho kept on playing with his hair and rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb, kissing him repeatedly on the hair and temple.

hyungwon seemed in thought but wonho didn’t say anything. that was of course until the younger brought their linked hands to his face and bit down on his thumb, hard enough for the shape of his teeth to be printed on his skin.

wonho hissed as it was slightly painful but giggled and didn’t intend on rescuing his thumb before it falls off.

“ what was that for? “ he asked and giggled again as hyungwon let his thumb free from his sharp teeth after a few seconds.

“ nothing “ the younger shrugged and pressed his cheek further into his chest.

“ tell me! you bite me only when something annoys you. what did i do? “ wonho knew something must have triggered his pretty jealous boyfriend again but he didn’t wanna use the word ‘ jealousy ‘ in his question.

he waited for a reply but hyungwon just pressed a long kiss to his chest with closed eyes and purred into his hug right after.

“ hyungwon! baby tell me! what is it? “ he insisted as he got up and propped his body on his elbow, resulting in him getting away from his lover a bit.

hyungwon pouted as he was no longer in contact with his favorite body and looked at wonho’s eyes.

“ did you… “ he looked away for a second before looking back at him again. “ was there ever something between you and doctor lee? “ his eyes were sparkling with worry as he started biting on the corner of his lip.

“ why do you think so? “ wonho asked gently as he let go of hyungwon’s fingers and pressed his thumb on the corner of the plump lips, for the younger to stop abusing the flesh.

the pink-haired boy kissed his thumb “ just that.. he looked at you the way.. the way people look at someone they love. “ he paused “ like i look at you. “ hyungwon forced himself to say those words as he drew patterns on wonho’s chest with his index finger. the sensation tickling his skin a bit.

he looked down into his beautiful boyfriend’s eyes and it was his turn in biting his lips. a slight frown appeared on his face.

“ we hooked up a few times back in high school. but he doesn’t love me or anything. his gaze is just intimate like that. “ he said in a low quiet voice, afraid of whether it would upset his lover or not.

“ he wasn’t looking at me or shownu like that.. “ hyungwon said in a whisper as he looked down.

wonho took his chin with his index finger and thumb and made him look up. he pecked hyungwon’s lips once, twice, three times before he leaned back and looked into his eyes passionately.

“ he looks at the people he knows and are friends with like that. if you want, we can gather up with jooheon as well and you can see that he looks at honey just the way he looks at me. he will look at you the same way even, if you guys become friends. he’s just.. he’s just friendly and playful like that. “ 

hyungwon looked at him intently while he talked and smiled when he was finished. pouting his lips forward, he closed his eyes and silently asked to be kissed.

wonho leaned down again and kissed him slowly and passionately, pouring his heart out through the kiss to show his delicate boyfriend that there was nothing or no-one he loved apart from him.

they kissed for a few minutes until suddenly his phone started vibrating on the nightstand.

at first, he wanted to ignore it but then hyungwon’s palm that was on his chest pushed him back a bit.

“ check who it is. i got weird chills like something’s going on. “ the younger said as he leaned back and looked at the direction of the nightstand.

wonho sat up and reached for the device. it was minhyuk. why the hell would minhyuk call him at 5 in the morning?!

“ hmm? “ 

“ SHE’S COMING! OUR BABY IS COMING! “ he screamed into the phone. wonho took the device away from his ear automatically with how loud the other was. and then the words suddenly registered in his brain.

“ WHAT? NOW? “ he shouted into the phone and caught hyungwon off guard as he watched him with curious wide eyes.

“ YES! WE’RE ON OUR WAY THERE. COME FAST! “ and then minhyuk hung up.

their friends had come to the first night of the concert but they had no idea hyungwon was injured on the second night. wonho looked at the black screen of his phone and then at hyungwon and didn’t know what he was supposed to do at that situation. on one hand, he couldn’t leave him, on the other, he didn’t wanna miss the birth of kihyun’s girl! he had waited long months for this exact moment.

“ well? what’s going on? “ hyungwon asked.

“ our baby is finally coming. kihyun and boyoung are probably in the hospital and min and joo are on their way there. “ 

“ OH MY GOD! what are you waiting for? put on your shirt and LET’S GO! “ hyungwon said as he got all excited and threw the blanket away.

“ wait what?! you’re not going anywhere! you need to rest! “ wonho said as he grasped the younger’s wrist to keep him from moving any further.

“ the hell with resting! i am not missing this! hurry up and help me or i’ll stand up on my own. “ 

 

 

 

 

it wasn’t easy. especially with how hyungwon didn’t wanna be carried around in the hospital so he had to just hug his waist as the younger had his arm around his shoulder for support when they walked into the building and all the way to the private vip waiting room. their friends were all there, along with boyoung’s family. her mother, father, sister and her sister’s small boy and a couple of her friends.

setting hyungwon down on the chair next to the wall sideways, the younger leaned on the wall behind him while wonho put the taller’s legs on his thighs and started massaging his knee as they talked with each other.

“ what the hell happened? why are you two always injured or sick?! “ minhyuk asked observing hyungwon from head to toe.

“ you should’ve stayed home won. why did you bring him here? “ jooheon said as he judged him with his narrowed eyes.

wonho felt betrayed and wanted to say something as his eyebrows raised and he pouted his lips first but right when he was about to talk hyungwon took his hand and squeezed it.

“ i insisted on coming myself. don’t corner my man like that. look how pouty he already is. “ the younger giggled and pressed his palm on wonho’s still very pouty lips.

“ did any of you call kyun? why is he not here?! “ shownu asked.

“ i called him. he said he wasn’t home and would take a few to get here. “ jooheon explained.

“ he isn’t home?! where is he then?! “ wonho asked as his protective brother instinct kicked in.

“ they went somewhere with jeonghan. “ the latter replied.

wonho was left confused but didn’t question it further. he decided to have a talk with his little brother later about it. for now, he focused back on massaging the hurt knee.

 

 

minhyuk went and sat beside shownu, who was sitting across from wonho and hyungwon, and leaned his head on his shoulder.

“ i’m surprised they’re okay. i thought they’d fight when they get home. “ shownu whispered to minhyuk while looking at the lovey-dovey couple who were talking silently and giggling across from them.

“ what do you mean? why would they fight? “ minhyuk looked up at him without moving away.

“ wonho met with jung suk. “ shownu simply said.

“ oh shit! “ minhyuk sat up straight and looked at the couple and then back at shownu.

“ holy shit! i bet hyungwon’s face was a sight to see! his gaze becomes so intense when someone gets closer to wonho than necessary! “

“ he was ready to kill, i tell you that! but i’m really curious to know how wonho always manages to cool the fire afterward! they don’t seem to have any big fights over these situations. “ shownu rubbed his chin.

“ well… he uses his mouth pretty good. “ minhyuk wiggled his eyebrows at shownu who frowned in confusion and then laughed in understanding.

minhyuk had just leaned his head on the broad shoulder again when a running changkyun entered the room, followed by the long-haired boy. they were both panting.

“ are we late? “ the younger asked.

“ no, we’re still waiting. “ jooheon said as he walked towards them and shook hands with them both.

jeonghan locked eyes with wonho and quite visibly froze on his spot. the slight smile that was on his face until that second, disappeared but he kept staring.

“ hello there. “ wonho said smiling.

jeonghan didn’t reply and tore his eyes from him as he looked down and saw the knee pad on hyungwon’s leg. his lips parted and his eyes widened and was it worry in his eyes? 

the long-haired boy started walking toward them and knelt next to hyungwon as he reached out and touched the pad carefully and barely.

“ are you hurt? “ he asked as he looked at the taller.

hyungwon smiled warmly at him and shook his head. “ it’ll be okay. it doesn’t hurt that much. “ 

jeonghan didn’t seem to be convinced as he kept looking at the knee on wonho’s thighs.

“ how have you been? “ his boyfriend asked as he started playing with the ends of the boy’s hair that was resting on his shoulder.

jeonghan didn’t answer his question. a couple of minutes left until he sat on the floor completely and crossed his legs, grasping hyungwon’s hand with both of his own.

“ i missed you. you used to sit in the yard at night. but now.. it’s all empty. “ he paused and looked at their hands. “ i used to look at you from afar. hoseok always said you look so beautiful when you’re looking at the sky. i couldn’t agree more. “ the boy smiled, perhaps recalling a memory.

“ you looked at me from afar? why didn’t you come and sit by my side? we could use each other’s company. “ hyungwon said in a sweet tone as he curled the long hair around his fingers repeatedly, looking at the boy fondly.

“ you… you didn’t seem to like me. or hoseok. we talked about you a lot in my room when he stayed with me. “ he shrugged as he kept staring at their hands.

and then suddenly he looked up at wonho.

“ you’re nothing like him although you share the same body. “ and then he pouted and looked down to his lap “ i miss him so much. “

a few seconds passed. wonho didn’t know this boy or how he should talk to him. so he didn’t have anything to say really.

“ is changkyun treating you well? are you comfortable with him? “ hyungwon asked caressing his hair. jeonghan leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

“ he kisses better than hoseok “ he chuckled. and then his eyes widened and he looked at hyungwon with a terrified-looking expression “ we only kissed. hoseok told me to tell you that. but then you left before i got a chance of talking to you. “ he started playing with hyungwon’s fingers “kissing always calms me down and he did that for me. “ 

the taller stared at him with widened eyes without blinking and wonho looked back and forth between the two boys, feeling quite out of place.

“ can i.. can i stay with you here? i mean, next to you while i’m here? i really like you. “ jeonghan seemed really shy while saying that, not quite meeting hyungwon’s eyes.

“ of course. “ the taller smiled and seemed to be shocked by what the boy said.

“ i… i’m just gonna go sit over there. you can sit here. you can’t sit on the ground like that. “ wonho said as he carefully stood up and waited for jeonghan to get up and sit where he was sitting and placed hyungwon’s legs on the boy’s thin ones.

looking at hyungwon, the taller nodded at him before he looked back at the long-haired boy.

 

wonho went across the room and sat next to shownu, signaling changkyun who was standing at the far end of the room to come to them. the younger sat next to him.

“ little bro! what’s going on between you and jeonghan? “ he asked as soon as he sat down.

“ uh…. “ changkyun looked at the said boy before he looked at the three heads that were looking t him expectedly.

“ i’m kinda in love with him “ he said as he played with his long sleeves.

“ WHAT “ shownu, wonho and minhyuk whispered-yelled with their eyes as wide as they could get.

“ what?! what’s so strange about me loving him?! “ he frowned.

“ no! nothing’s wrong. i just never thought of you being in love! “ wonho smiled so wide, his lip corners could tear. he hugged his brother tightly “ my fans use this word, U-W-U when something’s cute. that’s exactly how i’m feeling right now. my little wolfie is in love.” he squished changkyun some more before ruffling his hair and finally letting him go, only to be suffocated by a hyper minhyuk. shownu was looking at them smiling, with wrinkles at the corners of his eyes.

“ so? so? does he love you back? are you guys both in love?? “ minhyuk asked jumping on his seat.

“ i think he does… i mean, he hadn’t said it yet but he acts like he does “ he paused “ in his own ways “ 

“ i’m so happy for you kyunie! aaaah~ we finally know what gender you prefer. now we only need to know who tops “ shownu looked at him from the corner of his eyes, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

“ OH MY GOD HYUNG! STOP! oh god! jesus! you all should go to church and pray for forgiveness “ changkyun placed his palms on his ears and acted ever so dramatically.

they all laughed from the bottom of their hearts.

" stop acting all innocent! we won't buy it anymore! " minhyuk pinched him.

“ imagine mom’s face though. both of his sons are gay. she will never have those grandchildren she always wanted so badly. “ wonho chuckled and let himself lean back on shown’s body.

“ about that… “ his brother looked perplexed all of a sudden “ i’m really scared. what if dad gets angry at me? what if they disown me? i’m terrified hyung! i can’t… i can’t tell them. maybe it’s better not to tell them. “ he said as his eyes became a bit teary.

“ oh no kyuni! if there’s one thing i’m satisfied with mom, it’s the fact that she accepted my sexuality just fine. or maybe she just didn’t care i don’t know. but … “ he pursed his lips together as he grasped the younger’s hands in his “ whenever you decide to tell them, you can tell me and i’ll be there by your side. just so you’re not alone there. i know how terrifying it can be. and i didn’t even give a shit about how anyone would react! “ 

“ you would do that for me? “ changkyun looked pretty emotional.

“ anything for my little brother “ wonho smiled at him.

the younger hugged him this time and hid his face in his neck “ thanks hyung. thank you very much. i think i’ll have the courage to tell them if you’re there. “ he leaned back and looked at his boyfriend? again.

“ we talked about living together once he’s discharged from the hospital. it’s gonna be better for both of us. he says he wants to continue studying. he majors in astronomy. i could study better as well. you know how our home is always filled with noises. i can use a bit of peace and quiet while living with my boyfriend. “ 

“ wow! he finally goes independent! i fully support your decision. whenever you guys decide on moving in together, just tell me and i’ll get you a house. “ wonho said as he patted his shoulder.

“ but if you guys could have a kid, he or she would become the next einstein! you major in quantum physics and he majors in astronomy! fucking smart couple! “ minhyuk screeched.

“ please! who in this group is NOT smart! “ jooheon said as he smiled sheepishly and sat down on minhyuk’s lap who circled his arms around him immediately.

“ probably me and kihyun! “ shownu said laughing.

“ pfft! you have one of the sexiest brains around here! i mean how can someone come up with so much perfect choreography continuously?! “ minhyuk mumbled, his lips pressed on jooheon’s shoulder.

 

wonho looked across the hall at his boyfriend and well, his brother’s boyfriend. he was about to get up and go to them when suddenly someone attached themselves to his feet.

looking down a bit startled, he saw a cute little boy, who was asleep until now, hugging his legs and looking up at him with the cutest little smiley face.

“ wonto hyung   i love you so mucH! “ the little boy said and giggled loudly right after.

wonho lifted him up and hugged him close to his chest as he caressed his hair.

“ i love you so much too! “ he said as he kissed the kid’s forehead.

“ what’s your name baby? “ 

“ seokwoon “ the kid answered as he kept looking at wonho and playing with his necklace.

“ little seokwooni~ why are you so adorable~ “ he pinched his cheek gently and rubbed over his stomach. the cute boy laughed and curled in his hands. he was attached to him through the next hour until the nurse came out and told them their princess was finally born.

 

 

 

when a half an hour later, they were finally allowed to see boyoung and kihyun’s newborn baby, wonho and minhyuk broke into tears as soon as they step foot inside the room.

boyoung looked really tired and pale but she was looking down at the baby in her arms so passionately as tears kept running down her cheeks quietly. kihyun wasn’t doing any better. it was obvious he wanted to get himself under control but it was also obvious that he failed with the amount of wetness on his face.

they had gotten a wheelchair for hyungwon earlier so he was sitting on it as wonho took him inside and to boyoung’s bedside.

“ why is she so small? “ he asked between his tears as he was dying to hold her.

“ they’re always small when they’re born. she’ll grow just fine. “ shownu said not tearing his eyes from her with a big smile on his face.

minhyuk was basically crushing jooheon in his arms and the latter was hugging him back just as tightly. changkyun was standing by hyungwon and had his hands on the taller’s shoulders as they both as well were adoring their friend’s kid.

“ can i.. can i hug her please? “ wonho asked as he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“ of course “ boyoung handed her to him carefully.

“ oh my- … guys “ a new flood of tears rushed out of his eyes “ she’s so beautiful. “ he couldn’t stop looking at her.

“ let me see her. “ hyungwon said and grasped the hem of his shirt.

wonho crouched down slowly and carefully until he was at eye level with his boyfriend.

the taller’s breath hitched as he looked at her with loving eyes.

he reached out and caressed her tiny little hand with his index finger in a feather-like touch and she suddenly opened her little fist and held his finger in her hand tightly.

hyungwon’s mouth parted as he stared at her and the way she held on his finger for several seconds until a tear rolled down his face. he leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss on his tiny hand.

“ enough for you two. let me hold her. “ minhyuk took her from him. changkyun, jooheon and him were dying over her for a couple of minutes until shownu hugged her. she was so so tiny in his arms.

“ what are you gonna name our princess? “ the dancer asked, looking at kihyun and boyoung.

their chef friend took his wife’s hand in his and smiled at her. she nodded at him in response and said “ Audrey “

“ Audrey “ shownu replied and looked back at the tiny girl he had in his arms.

“ actually, .. we decided on something.. “ kihyun said and shownu looked at him. “ we want you to be her godfather “ 

“ me?! “ shownu asked with a very much shocked expression. even his voice was high pitched!

kihyun nodded chuckling.

“ i’m … i’m very honored. thank you very much! “ shownu smiled ridiculously wide and placed a warm kiss on her forehead and gave her back to boyoung.

 

they went out a couple of minutes later for boyoung to have some alone time with her family and friends.

minhyuk attached himself to kihyun from behind as he hugged him.

“ Audrey. our prince Audrey. kiki is Audrey's daddy “ he said and laughed enthusiastically.

“ guys, i love her so much already! “ kihyun broke into tears again and they were all quick to group hug him. only jeonghan and hyungwon stood aside.

 

 

 

 

it was around noon when they got back home. hyungwon had looked so tired but didn’t seem to fall asleep.

“ what are you thinking so hard about? “ wonho said as he caressed his side up and down. 

“ jeonghan “ was the simple and quick answer he got.

“ what about him? “ he asked again after a kiss on his forehead.

this time the reply came a bit hesitantly.

“ the whole time i was there, he didn’t talk to me. didn’t even come near me. well apart from that one time i was sitting in the yard. he just came to me and laid his head on my lap, looking at the stars with me quietly. “ hyungwon spoke as his lips moved against the skin of his chest. he was pressed against him again.

“ i didn’t have any idea they talked about me so much. i can’t help but feel that i was being so mean to both him and hoseok. “ he seemed in thought again “ i wish i’d been more gentle and open to them.. “ 

“ hey “ wonho brushed the stubborn hair out of the beautiful face and made him look up.

“ you had enough on your plate. it’s perfectly normal for you to distance yourself from them. i mean, with them kissing and all.. “ wonho kept on caressing his cheek with his thumb.

“ yeah but… the way he talked to me tonight… i don’t know. i wanna make it up to him somehow. “ a smile appeared on his face “ you know, he told me they never did anything more than kissing. he said hoseok was so bad at it at first but then learned how to kiss properly. he said they never even got hard and only did it to get jeonghan calm! i don’t know how that works but that’s all it was! i was being jealous and upset over nothing! as per usual of course! “ he giggled and hid his face in the crook of wonho’s neck, embarrassed of the many times he had become jealous over stupid things.

“ maybe it’s not healthy but i like it when you get all jealous! i don’t know, it’s just so hot to me! i wanna just kiss and make love to you until the feeling goes away and you’re reassured you’re the only one for me forever. “ 

hyungwon didn’t get out of his hiding place and started kissing and biting on the skin of wonho’s neck.

the older hissed and tugged at the pink hair, making his lover let go of his neck.

“ stop! you’ll get me all turned on. “ he said as hyungwon refused to be separated from him.

“ so? what’s the problem with that? “ he mumbled into his skin.

“ it’s not gonna happen until you’re fully healed. i don’t wanna go nuts and accidentally cause more harm to your body. “ he said as he let his hand travel under the thin boy’s shirt.

“ will you rub over my back until i sleep then? i really love it when you do that. “ hyungwon said looking up at him.

“ i know you do. of course. just sleep already. your eyes are all red and puffy with sleepiness. “ wonho said as he started caressing the smooth skin of his lover’s back.

the other hummed and made himself comfortable on his chest and circled his arm further around him and finally closed his eyes but not before playing a kiss on where his heart was.

“ i love you wonto “ hyungwon said giggling, calling him like the little boy had called him in his child’s language.

“ i love you too pinkwonnie “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ***********  

 

 

**Ki.HamD**

**481,323 likes     34,910 comments**

i love you so much Audrey. welcome to our lives my beautiful princess.

 

 **WonHo:** how am i supposed to leave her in a few days for three whole months? TT

 **H.One:** i can still feel her tiny adorable hand around my finger TT

 **ShoBearNu:** my god-daughter TT

 **WhaleMin:** can i stop by tomorrow?? please! i already miss her so mcuh!

 **JHoney:** i think we're all going there tomorrow! **@WhaleMin**

 **WhaleMin: @JHoney** TT

 **kkukkung:** i never thought a kid could be so adorable TT

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** you should've seen yourself when you were a kid! you were soooo cute!

 **kkukkung: @WonHo** T^T hyung T^T

 **Ki.HamD:** i think you guys cried more than us!

 

 

 

 

**H.One**

**990,128 likes       189,028 comments**

i love me a man who's even loved by kids!

 

 **WonHo:** (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄) i love Y O U.

 **H.One: @WonHo** i love you M O R E

 **WonHo: @H.One** i love you M O S T

 **Ki.HamD: @WonHo @H.One** please make sure to contain your hormones in front of my child when you visit!

 **H.One: @Ki.HamD** (¬‿¬ ) 

**WonHo: @Ki.HamD** (￢‿￢ ) 

**WhaleMin:** even their emojis show their size difference :v 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	96. Ninety Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ^^ moooost of this chapter is fanpages' posts but we also have gc and their own posts on ig. the ones with no username are fanpage! kindly ignore all of hyungwon's mics! these posts are in a time span of three months while they're on tour and that's why it will probably be really long! ( also, i don't think i will write the chatfic for this story after this finishes so i wanted to do it all one last time. ) there are stuff happening in the time span of these posts here which will be explained in the next chapters.
> 
> ps: MoonYeop is jongup's @

 

 

 

**MX squad**

 

 

 **ShoBearNu:** last selfie with a lilac wonho.

**ShoBearNu:**

 

 **H.One:** i'm still bitter. (⇀‸↼ ‶)

 

 **WonHo:**  the promotions are over wonnie. it was time to change it.

 

 **H.One:** * silent treatment *

 

 **WonHo:** (× _ ×)

 

 **WhaleMin:** i never understood why he should change it once the promotions are over. just give it up. let him do his thing. we muggles will never understand how the idol world works.

 

 **H.One:** i can only come to you with my pain, min. only you understand me. (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 

 **WhaleMin:** there there (っ ´ω`) ﾉ (╥ω╥)

 

 **JHoney:** i love how dramatic the two of you are :v 

 

 **Ki.HamD:** hey guys...

 

 **ShoBearNu:** oh hey ki

 **ShoBearNu:** how's being a father going?

 

 **Ki.HamD:** i haven't slept in three days. i'm dying. she keeps crying all night.

 **Ki.HamD:** i think i will faint from sleep deprivation soon.

 **Ki.HamD:** and she throws up most of the things she eats.

 **Ki.HamD:** she threw up on my favorite gucci shirt.

 **Ki.HamD:** boyoung looks like a zombie. literally.

 

 **WhaleMin:** oh wow. way to say how beautiful your wife looks and how much you love your child (ｏ ・ _ ・)

 

 **Ki.HamD:** my wife is the most beautiful and i love my child to the moon and beyond.

 **Ki.HamD:** but. we should definitely get a nanny. 

 **Ki.HamD:** this won't work any longer. we'll lose our minds.

 **Ki.HamD:** how can taking care of one tiny not even half a meter human being be so much constant work?

 

 **JHoney:** well, i mean... you are talking to an all gay community and a shownu hyung who isn't even engaged yet. so.. we're not really of any help here!

 

 **Ki.HamD:** (。。)

 

 **kkukkung:** did you just send boobs?!

 **kkukkung:** hyung, i know it's hard on you but please don't lose your conservative spirit!

 

 **Ki.HamD:** shut up kyun. it's an emoji. it's supposed to mean i'm perplexed. which i am.

 **Ki.HamD:** i don't even know how things are at the restaurant. fuck.

 **Ki.HamD:** we definitely need a nanny. or two nannies.

 

 **WhaleMin:** i don't believe a word you say. our princess is perfectly well-mannered and all happy and giggly whenever we're there (´ ω `)

 

 **JHoney:** i know right! all men do is lie. (◡‿◡)

 

 **Ki.HamD:** you only saw her when she's not hungry or sleepy or during her stomachaches.

 **Ki.HamD:** she turns into a nonstop screaming machine.

 **Ki.HamD:** oh shit. here we go again. she woke up. screaming.

 **Ki.HamD:** wait i'm gonna record this.

**Ki.HamD:** _[ audio file ]_

 

 **WhaleMin:** bro! how can she be this loud!??!! 〣 (ºΔº) 〣

 

 **JHoney:** i'm ... suddenly so happy males can not get pregnant...

 

 **ShoBearNu:** don't your neighbors complain about the noise?

 

 **Ki.HamD:** the walls are sound-proof.

 **Ki.HamD:** gtg. ttyl.

 

 **kkukkung:** :v he used slang :v 

 

 **H.One:** that... is one hell of a throat she has... wow.

 **H.One:** anyways, DID YOU WATCH WONHO'S RETURN OF SUPERMAN EPISODE TODAY?

 **H.One:** wait a sec, brb

 

*******

 

 

**H.One**

****  


**791,904 likes      274,001 comments**

it's safe to say that i melted after throwing all my UwUs at him.

 

 

*******

 

**MX squad**

 

 

 **WhaleMin:** did you just scream here and then stopped to go scream on ig?

 

 **kkukkung:** whipped culture ┐ (￣∀￣) ┌

 

 **JHoney:** like i said. d r a m a t i c ┐ (￣∀￣) ┌

 

 **ShoBearNu:** honestly, i think wonho would make the best father out of all of us.

 

 **H.One:** he doesn't even let me adopt a kitten. (ノ _ <。)

 **H.One:** all i ever asked for was one tiny kitten ゜ ゜ (´Ｏ`) ゜ ゜

 

 **WhaleMin:** please! you two are always sick one way or the other.

 **WhaleMin:** and even one tiny kitten is so much work. we took yoshi gucci to the clinic three times last week!

 

 **H.One:** (╯︵╰,)

 **H.One:** where is my boyfriend anyway?

 

 **JHoney:** he's here recording.

 

 **H.One:** recording what? he didn't tell me anything about new songs?!

 

 **JHoney:** it's top secret (─‿─)

 

 

*******

 

 

 

**WonHo**

 

**1,930,972 likes      500,129 comments**

who wore pink better? (O_O;)

 

 **ShoBearNu:** obviously me! (.❛ ᴗ ❛.)

 **H.One: @ShoBearNu** i mean if it helps you sleep at night!

 **ShoBearNu: @H.One** it does. please let me have my moment (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **H.One: @ShoBearNu** everything for our leader shownu of course :D

 **WhaleMin:** can't believe i lived long enough to see the day  **@ShoBearNu** uses R E A L emojis!

 **ShoBearNu: @WhaleMin** you should thank ji eun for that! she nagged me too much about it.

 **WhaleMin: @ShoBearNu** i've been nagging you about it since FOREVER

 **ShoBearNu: @WhaleMin** yeah well.. you're not her :D

 **WhaleMin: @ShoBearNu** wow. the disrespect.

 

 

 

 

**WonHo**

****  


**3,917,390 likes       927,130 comments**

thanks to my homeboys who came and supported us at the very first night ^^

are you ready #wonbebe? the world tour officially begins \,,/

 

 

*******

 

( fanpages )

 

   

i couldn't be happier that the tour is being held in summer :D

( *whispers* doesn't hyungwon ever like.. bite or suck on his skin?! why is he always so hickey free? hehe )

 

 

 

 

  

OMG! OMGGGGG!! IT HAPPENED! WHAT WE WANTED TO SEE HAPPENED AND IT'S ONLY THE FIRST STOP OF THE TOUR!

they did the from zero solo part TOGETHER! they could NOT contain their smiles when they looked at each other. guys im so SOFT TT he patted his hair right after this. it was sooooo freaking cute and soft and hot and aaaaa T^T

 

 

 

 

so we didn't have the cute from zero interactions tonight as they didn't perform it BUT LOOK! wonho hugged hyungwon from behind during jealousy and then made him siiiiing and his voice was so warm and beautiful TT hyungwon is like an adorable kitten TT he was completely melting into the hug and everyone in the stadium was cooing over them TT

 

 

 

the usage of our king's muscles for his boyfriend: microphone holder (・ ・)?

 

 **H.One:** no, but like, the mic was heavy!

 **UserID:** lsdahflhjgd he REPLIED. gotta go private. my page is NSFW!

 **H.One:** too late :D i already checked it out :D your page is cute ^^ thanks for loving wonho ^^

 

 

 

 

wonho made him start working out, didn't he? (・ _ ・;)

TONIGHT was SO MUCH FUN! they were all showing their abs and then when it came to hyungwon, wonho went like okay, let's sing the next song aksldjalhgf he didn't wanna show us his body :V such a jealous boyfi :V but then the whole stadium went ' hyungwon's abs ' and TA-DA! we saw it for like two seconds until wonho turned him around :D i had no idea he is this possessive :V

 

 **H.One:** and he shows his body to the world all the time. smh (¬_¬)

 **UserID:** what the &!*@ omg! nooo, we should all go private. it's not safe anymore.

 **UserID:** but like, i love your dancing skills and you're so beautiful and cute TT

 **H.One:** thank you so much ^^ you're very beautiful too ^^

 

 

 

*******

( fancafe )

 

**WonHo**

hyungwon stop leaving comments on fanpages and upsetting my manager challenge: failed.

 

**comments:**

**H.One:**

**WonHo:** did you just pose and told shownu to take this pic so you could reply me with it?!

 **H.One:** yeop ^^ 

**WonHo:** ┐ ('～ `;) ┌ 

 

*******

 

( fanpages )

{ last night of tour }

 

   

Wonho culture: pinching hyungwon's cheek and giving him back hugs in which he completely restrains his movements. i do NOT want to let my mind get kinky about this. STOHP.

PS: HYUNGWON'S HAIR.

 

 

uwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu

 

 **H.One:** hate to break it to you but he can't get what uwu means..

 **UserID:** H O W

 **H.One:** *sigh* no idea..

 

 

 

 

 

the tour finished with hyungwon changing his iconic pink hair to blond TT which also suits him very well TT he is beautiful so every color would TT

but like aaaa jkhadsbf HE HUGGED HIM TONIGHT AND SPUN AROUND! it was like the way husbands carry their spouses in the wedding TT wonho always makes sure he shares everything with us TT

 

 

 

lol. @ **H.One** we all get it fam. we all get it.

 

 **H.One:** (≧ ▽ ≦) 

 

 

*******

 

 

**ShoBearNu**

**853,965 likes     391,001 comments**

****gym pals.

 

 **H.One:** yum yum.

 **WhaleMin: @H.One** wonnie :v 

 **H.One: @WhaleMin** what? the beef i'm having is yummy! 

 **MoonYeop: @H.One** can you not?

 **H.One: @MoonYeop** (⁀ᗢ⁀) 

 

 

 

**H.One**

**815,172 likes     328,123 comments**

****i woke up to my favorite shirt being completely ruined. **@WonHo** you are buying me another one.

 

 **WonHo:** you started it! you should've accepted it when i told you, you will not wake up no matter what when you're drunk! i literally spent 30 minutes writing and drawing on your shirt and turning you around and you DID NOT even flinch!

 **H.One: @WonHo** well NO ONE wakes up when they're wasted!

 **kkukkung: @H.One** i do

 **Ki.HamD: @H.One** i do

 **ShoBearNu: @H.One** i do

 **H.One: @kkukkung @Ki.HamD @ShoBearNu** i hate ya'll

 **WonHo: @H.One** i do :D

 **H.One: @WonHo** shut up. you're still buying me this shirt.

 **WonHo: @H.One** i so am not!

 **H.One: @WonHo** don't argue with me! my head hurts TT

 **WonHo: @H.One** painkiller+that thing you drink for a hangover on the nightstand.

 **H.One: @WonHo** ugh you're a real life saver babe

 **H.One: @WonHo** but you're still buying me that shirt you ruined.

 

*******

_( direct message from WonHo to H.One )_

 

you should buy me all the sheets YOU ruined then ;)

 

and who's fault were those?

 

your gorgeous body that gets me all crazy of course :)

 

hmmm, get here so we can ruin another one 

 

on my way :* 

be there in 20.

 

*******

 

**H.One**

 

**1,273,178 likes     300,123 comments**

how he poses vs. what he ends up posting

 

 **WhaleMin:** the struggle is real :v

 **kkukkung:** what sorcery is this

 **Ki.HamD:** showed the second pic to Audrey. she started laughing and clapping!

 **ShoBearNu: @Ki.HamD** she's already a wonbebe!

 **JHoney: @WonHo** bro! check your email bro!

 **WonHo: @JHoney** oh shit! is it finished already?!

 **JHoney: @WonHo** yeop ^^

 **WonHo: @JHoney** fuck, i love you so damn much!

 **H.One: @WhaleMin** these two (  **@WonHo @JHoney** ) are doing something behind our backs and it's been three months.

 **WhaleMin: @H.One** i gave up after the first month! he won't tell me!

 

 

 

**ShoBearNu**

**873,167 likes     120,721 comments**

being on stage with these two is so much fun!

 

 **WonHo:** awwwww ❤

 **H.One:** UwU 

 **ShoBearNu: @H.One** uwu

 **WonHo: @ShoBearNu** you know what that word means?!

 **ShoBearNu: @WonHo** yeah, it's like emoji.

 **WonHo: @ShoBearNu** i don't think i'll ever get it.. *sigh*

 

 

 

 

**H.One**

**1,572,999 likes     429,019 comments**

i think i'm turning into a #wonho fan page. but can you really blame me? look how H O T!

 

 **WonHo:** lmao ♡ (⇀ 3 ↼)

 **JHoney:** let me guess, he took all of his clothes off first thing when you got back to the hotel room because they're ' dirty '

 **H.One: @JHoney** well...

 **WonHo: @JHoney** i was lying on G R A S S! it's what everyone steps on with their shoes! their DIRTY shoes!

 **Ki.HamD: @JHoney** it is dirty. i agree.  **@WonHo**

 **kkukkung: @WonHo** OCD

 **WonHo: @kkukkung** shut up, it's not OCD. it's called being C L E A N.

 

 

 

**WonHo**

#wonbebe go listen to ' neol hada ' on my sound cloud ^^

this is for my one and only  **@H.One**  ❤

 

 **H.One:** stop making me cry so much in one day! i love the song so damn much! ❤❤❤

 **JHoney:** i can finally breathe again. it was devastating to keep it a secret from min :')

 **WhaleMin: @JHoney** i forgive you. it was all for a good cause :')

 **Ki.HamD:** i don't know whether it's the father emotions but i'm crying again :') ❤

 **kkukkung: @Ki.HamD** it's hyungwonho being the best gay couple ever emotions. we're all crying :')

 **ShoBearNu:** you should perform it because i just thought of the perfect choreo!

 **WonHo: @ShoBearNu**  damn! already! 

 

 

 

**H.One**

**628,918 likes     23,129 comments**

i'm scared.

 

 **WhaleMin:** don't worry. he's gonna love it!

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** what did you two do this time??

 **WhaleMin: @JHoney** it's top secret!

 **ShoBearNu:** oh. hehe ^^

 

 

 

 

**WonHo**

**2,168,018 likes   500,283 comments**

****he is BLOND! and ever so beautiful TT

 

 **WhaleMin: @H.One** see? i told you he'll love it ^^

 **H.One:** but i'm no longer pinkwon (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **WonHo: @H.One** you're always gonna be my pinkwonie!

 **ShoBearNu:** didn't know you had a silver tooth! @ **H.One**

 **Ki.HamD: @ShoBearNu** it's because we never saw him smile so brightly!

 **WhaleMin: @ShoBearNu** you scare me sometimes with your observation skills.

 **JHoney: @WhaleMin** man our 'top secrets' suck big time :v

 **kkukkung:** (ಥ﹏ಥ) hyungwonie hyung (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 

 

 

 

**WonHo**

  

**1,268,837 likes     371,910 comments**

i think his taste changed with his hair color! he chose burgers over shrimp! what is going on!!

 

 **H.One:** i wanted you to have this restaurant's burger while we're here. it's very popular and you love burger.

 **WonHo: @H.One** stop making me fall in love with you over and over again. i'm already completely yours!! what else do you want from me!!

 **H.One: @WonHo** well, i want the cola you stole back please ^^

 **kkukkung: @H.One** :v savage

 **JHoney: @H.One** *dabs* swag!! :v

 **WonHo: @H.One** not before you give me back my fries!

 **WhaleMin:** hafjhf  THE PLOT TWIST :v

 

 

 

 

**WonHo**

**4,819,018 likes    1,382,928 comments**

#wonbebe thank you so much for being with me during this world tour. i had so much fun ^^

we had the encore back home tonight and with that, the tour officially ends TT

i'm gonna miss you all TT wait for me a bit and i'll be back with new stuff ^^

 

 

*******

 

( fancafe )

 

**WonHo**

like this, a new page in our lives begin

**WonHo:** aah~ we were too lazy to get out of bed after Milan's stage.

 

**WonHo:**

hyungwon, it's been only a day... where is it? TT

**comments:**

**H.One:** it's .... i can explain!!!!

 

 

 


	97. Ninety Seven

leaving kihyun’s newborn was harder than they had thought. Audrey had just been born and the three of them had to leave right after.

 

the world tour had never been better though. wonho had expected to have lost many fans but it seemed that he had instead gained way more with how all of the super big stadiums were filled with them. and then the very best part was having the love of his life by his side on the stage and along the tour. he could barely contain himself from just kissing and squishing the hell out of hyungwon the times he was dancing perfectly and with extra sexiness. he had been worried about his boyfriend’s reaction to the fans and the times they touched him but in the end it was him who was quite aware of the way some of the audience ate hyungwon up with their eyes or when he wore a very hot outfit on their walks around the city after the concerts and people would check him out from head to toe. wonho did NOT like that. at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

***********

 

 

**MX squad**

 

 

 **WhaleMin:** what’s with all the proposals recently?! is it some kind of a wedding season or something?! six of my employees are going to get married this year!

 

 **JHoney:** it was valentines day a few months ago. the ratio of unplanned children is probably high.

 

 **Ki.HamD:** i was going to say i feel attacked but then again that IS how i got married in the first place so..

 

 **H.One:** at least you and boyoung really love each other.

 **H.One:** some people just get married because of that and then completely ruin the kid’s life in the process.

 

 **kkukkung:** but like, when are ya’ll gonna get married?

 

 **ShoBearNu:** who exactly are you referring to?

 

 **kkukkung:** all of you

 

 **ShoBearNu:** well, i don’t have any plans any time soon.

 **ShoBearNu:** it’s barely half a year since ji and i know each other.

 **ShoBearNu:** don’t wanna rush anything. maybe after 4-5 years. if we were still going strong that is.

 

 **H.One:** really? i always thought you would be the kind to propose as fast as they could! what a surprise! my personality reading skills are getting weak. shit.

 

 **ShoBearNu:** that kind of person would be your very boyfriend actually.

 

 **H.One:** wonho? haha. very funny.

 **H.One:** he doesn’t believe in marriage. says it’s just a useless piece of paper that involves the government even further into our personal lives.

 

 **kkukkung:** sounds to me more like, in case of a divorce, he doesn’t wanna split his money in half.

 

 **WhaleMin:** :v no one roasts wonho as bad as his own brother does.

 

 **ShoBearNu:** but what about you hyungwon?

 **ShoBearNu:** do you wanna get married someday?

 

 **H.One:** i don’t know. never really thought about it.

 **H.One:** when you’re gay and living in a country that doesn’t allow same-sex marriage, there’s really not much to think about anyway.

 

 **Ki.HamD:** but like, hypothetically, if you could, would you wanna?

 

 **H.One:** i mean… would be nice to have a ring that shows you’re each other’s forever

 

 **JHoney: ‘** each other’s forever ‘

 **JHoney:** i’d like to use my twitter language knowledge and say UWU

 

 **kkukkung:** if my brother was here, his respond to hyungwon’s message would be: ‘ you don’t need a ring to know you’re someone’s forever and vice versa. ‘

 

 **H.One:** hahaha, that would exactly be it :v i can even hear his voice saying it!

 

 **ShoBearNu:** what about you two? joo and min?

 

 **WhaleMin:** if he doesn’t propose, i’m gonna kick his balls.

 

 **JHoney:** what?! like, do i have to propose today or something?!

 

 **WhaleMin:** not today. but eventually ^^

 

 **JHoney:** of course baby ^^

 

 **kkukkung:** wow. no romance in that whatsoever.

 

 

 

***********

 

 

 

hyungwon was giggling at his phone screen as he read the messages in their group chat. jooheon and minhyuk had a very strange kind of relationship. none of them seemed to really understand how it worked but it worked for them and that’s what mattered.

his limbs were all over the king-sized bed as he was lying on his stomach, chatting with his legs spread on the soft white mattress.

 

they had gone out to explore the city a bit and ate at a very good restaurant earlier. they always went out to the city they were having the concert at, before or after the event. whenever they had free time actually. once, when wonho wasn’t in the room with them, jongup had thanked hyungwon telling him how the singer always spent his time in the hotel rooms before. apparently his boyfriend never went out into the city and just spent his time in the gym or working on songs. which was very sad and wrong and hyungwon was so happy when it was wonho himself who told him to get ready because they were gonna go out the very first city they arrived at.

but the result was that, once they were back, wonho would shower and jump right on the chair, put his headphones on and start working. meaning hyungwon had to either sleep, read a book or just play with his phone. which was fine really. just that the whole tour they had only had sex properly like 4-5 times and they’ve been on the road for two and a half months now.

 

“ what are you giggling so adorably at? “ he heard his lover’s soft voice next to his ear as his body was a bit pushed to the mattress with the weight that appeared on top of him.

wonho pressed him down with his own body gently, his hand on his back and the other caressing along hyungwon’s arm from his shoulder to his wrist and finally the older took his phone out of his hand and put it on the nightstand.

“ the guys are being stupid again “ he giggled and turned his head to the back and captured the soft lips that leaned in. it was a short but pleasant kiss.

wonho took both of his wrists with his hands lightly and pressed hyungwon further into the bed. he tried to move his legs and somehow entangle them with the older’s but the position they were at made that somehow impossible.

as if wonho read his thoughts, he let go of his wrists, moved to the side and lied down on his back with his head on the fluffy pillow. without a second to spare, the older took hyungwon’s arm and literally dragged him on the mattress, pulling him in, until he was pressed against his body with the muscular arms securely wrapped around him.

“ you were perfect today. that dance stage you have with shownu while i go backstage to change leaves me breathless every time. “ wonho said in a tired hoarse voice as he caressed hyungwon’s back lazily.

“ everything about you is perfect. “ the older said as his voice got quieter.

hyungwon raised his head from the older’s clothed chest and looked at his face. his eyes were already half-lidded.

“ you weren’t so bad yourself. “ he winked and pecked wonho’s lips once.

“ sleep baby. your body is screaming at you. “ he rubbed over the older’s chest and stomach up and down in a soothing way before he placed a kiss on the clothed chest and rest his head on it again right after.

“ i’m sorry i can’t make love to you tonight pinkwonnie. my body is shutting down… “ the last words were barely a whisper and just like that wonho fell asleep. he hadn’t slept more than minutes here and there for days now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they had finished their last night in australia, meaning they only had the encore concert left which was back at their hometown. but it was in another three days so while the team went back, wonho wanted to take hyungwon to some place to ‘ have some proper rest in the beauty of the nature ‘ the truth was, he had no idea where the older was taking him. he only knew that they got into a helicopter, which he had never been in before at it was hella loud but the view was perfect so he was really happy about this new experience.

the problem was his supposedly strong-willed fighter-like boyfriend who was sitting in the middle of the seat, with his hands curled into tight fists that turned his knuckles white because well they were in a helicopter and wonho was afraid of heights.

“ baby, why did you get us in here when you’re this terrified? you’re really pale. “ hyungwon took wonho’s fist between his palms “ pale AND cold “ he had actually never seen him struggling with heights before as the older had perfectly avoided any kind of situation the best way he could.

“ i-i-i’m okay “ it was obvious how ‘okay’ he was with the way he stuttered.

“ you’re not won. we should just tell him to land or something. “ hyungwon pursed his lips as he got worried the further they went. acrophobia wasn’t something that could be taken lightly. it could really scare the shit out of the person with the phobia. which it clearly was.

 

“ we’re here “ a voice said in the headphones they had on.

wonho looked out immediately and looked back at hyungwon with the brightest smile on his face.

“ look out pinkwonnie “ the older said without stuttering and put his other hand on hyungwon’s.

he followed suit and looked out. his eyes widened at the view and his breath got hitched. he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

they were flying toward a big lake surrounded by endless trees. they were flying toward a big lake that had PINK water.

 

 

with parted lips, hyungwon stared out of the window and at the beautifully bubble-gum colored water in awe.

“ this is. … “ he said but couldn’t finish.

“ can we go down? “ he asked as he looked at his lover with big excited eyes.

wonho wasn’t really looking outside. instead he was admiring hyungwon with a soft smile on his face. he nodded “ yeah but we can’t go in the water. “

 

 

a few minutes later the helicopter landed and wonho’s fists opened. his nails were actually printed on his palms.

he got out and held his hand for hyungwon to take as he helped the younger out as well.

“ this is breath-taking. it’s so beautiful. so mesmerizing. how did you find this place?! “ hyungwon suddenly turned to him with his whole body. his eyes were still as wide as they could get and full of child-like excitement.

“ it wasn’t hard. i just searched ‘pink lake’ “ he shrugged while smiling and brushed his fingers through hyungwon’s messy and equally pink hair. the wind had messed up the beautiful silky hair.

“ i love it. thank you for taking me here baby “ the younger jumped into his arms and circled his own around wonho’s neck, as he kissed him, not giving a single fuck about anyone seeing them like he usually did.

he wrapped his arms around hyungwon’s thin waist and pulled him closer to his body as he deepened the kiss. the air smelt like the woods and salt of course because the lake had an insane amount of salt in it. but it was very pleasant. they were lost into the kiss like it was just the two of them in the whole world.

after several long minutes, wonho leaned back and looked deeply into hyungwon’s eyes as the other looked back into his with the same gaze that screamed ‘ i love you ‘

“ come. let’s go closer to the lake. “ wonho smiled gently and took the younger’s hand in his as they walked toward the lake. they stood there admiring the while scenery for a while in complete silence and took a few pictures.

 

“ hyungwon “ 

wonho rubbed his thumb over the other’s hand as he talked.

“ i was a mess before you. an actual completely drowned mess. i still am but you can say you kind of tamed that part of me. the part that wanted to lash out at everyone, throw everything to the side and just hide away. now i don’t even really remember how it must have felt like anymore. “ he said slowly, looking straight at the lake in front of them while hyungwon’s head had turned to look at him as he spoke.

 

turning around, he took both of hyungwon’s hands in his and made him turn around and face him as well.

“ you showed me that one can actually enjoy living. i love every second i spend with you or every second i spend thinking about you while we’re not next to each other. “ he looked back and forth into hyungwon’s round eyes that were watching him intently.

chuckling, he looked down for a second before looking back at his lover. 

“ if you keep looking at me like that with those beautiful eyes of yours i’ll get lost in them and forget all about everything else! “ he said as he couldn’t help himself but to steal a quick kiss from the delicious plump lips that were quick to kiss back.

“ you’re being.. weird. what is going on?! “ hyungwon asked with a nervous chuckle as he leaned back a bit and rubbed his thumbs on the back of wonho’s hands and looked at him with a slight frown on his face.

“ you colored my world pinkwonnie. you colored it with your beautiful voice as you talked to me at night by that fountain. you colored it with your endless emotional support and the shoulder you offered me each time i broke down. you colored it with the trust you put in me when you first told me to touch you. “ wonho couldn’t keep the eye contact as he remembered all that he had put the other man through in the small amount of time they’ve been together. but then he forced himself to look back up and smiled.

“ you colored my world again and again each time they started to faint. “

“ what is this? are you trying to break up with me in a sweet way or something?! “ hyungwon’s face was giving away just how uneasy and confused he was feeling.

“ no. of course not. it’s quite the opposite. “ wonho shook his head and let go of his lover’s hand as he took a small step back.

 

taking a small box out of the pocket of his jacket, he got on one knee and held the opened box in front of hyungwon.

“ i know we can’t actually put it on paper yet but… chae hyungwon, will you marry me? “

 

hyungwon’s hand were quick to cover his wide open mouth as he gasped upon seeing the older get on his knee with the box in his hand. he couldn’t believe it. he couldn’t believe any of it. being in a place as beautiful as there with the lake that was the exact same color as his hair, kissing the love of his life on the sand surrounded by jungle from one side and ocean from the other. he couldn’t believe wonho was proposing to him. now, just like the older said, they couldn’t put it on paper as gay marriage wasn’t legal in their country but the gesture, the showcase of the full commitment and the amount of thought the older had put into this was what brought tears into hyungwon’s eyes.

 

he got on his knees as well and circled his arms around wonho as he hugged him as tight as he could while he let his happy tears roll down his cheeks. the older was quick to hug him back, just as tight, and shower him with kisses everywhere he could reach. his cheek, his temple, his eyes, his neck. the final kiss was on his clothed shoulder as he spoke “ is that a yes then? “ there was a beautiful chuckle after that sentence.

“ yes. a thousand times yes. “ he said into his lover’s neck and leaned back to look at him. he was met with wonho’s equally wet cheeks and a ridiculously wide smile.

“ i love you so god damn much i think i’ll need a million more lifetimes to be able to get enough you. “ the older said as he leaned in and pressed their lips together in a closed mouth feather-like kiss.

“ just a million lifetimes? “ hyungwon pouted playfully “ i’ll need an eternity and even then i would want to have you to myself for more “ he leaned in and was about to kiss wonho again when the older pressed his fingers on his lips and stopped him.

“ there’s someplace else we have to go to now. come on. “ he said as he stood up and pulled hyungwon up as well.

taking his left hand, wonho took the ring out and put it on him slowly.

once it was done, the older bent down and kissed his hand where the ring was.

hyungwon closed his eyes unconsciously at the kiss as the smile on his face kept still. when his lover was standing straight again, he took the other ring out.

hyungwon raised his left hand in the air, palm up and silently asked for wonho’s hand. the older smiled, took his hand with his own and watched thoroughly as the taller put the ring on him.

he kept his left hand next to wonho’s and just stared. it was beautiful. their ring fingers were now decorated with identical rings that each had the other’s name carved on it.

unfortunately, he couldn’t keep the moment for too long as wonho intertwined their fingers together and started walking back to the helicopter, hand tightening around his the closer they got.

the older hid his face in the crook of hyungwon’s neck the whole time they spent in the air to get to wherever they were going next.

 

 

 

about fifty minutes later they landed again. wonho’s body was actually trembling a bit but he was trying his best at hiding it and getting it under control.

the sun was already setting and the sky was a beautiful mixture of colors as they walked in a beach hotel hand in hand. hyungwon was not really paying any attention to his surroundings as he kept glancing at his hand.

that’s why he didn’t realize when they walked inside a wooden cabin and was quite shocked when they were confronted with the loud sound of screaming, clapping and shouting of their friends.

 

 

“ what? when did you all get here?! “ hyungwon asked as he held a hand on his chest due to the surprise.

minhyuk and changkyun basically jumped and strangled him instantly, causing their hands to fall apart.

smiling at the scene and nodding to the rest of his friends, he walked to the piano that was placed at the corner and sat behind it.

a few seconds later, he cleared his throat in the mic. the two intruders got the point and let go of hyungwon. the younger’s eyes landed on him right after as his already smiley face became even brighter.

without further ado, wonho put his fingers on the piano keys gently as his eyes were still on his beautiful lover who was just standing there still.

“ this is for you baby “ 

he started playing and the notes filled the air. hyungwon was standing on his spot, eyes only locked to his for the first verse but then he started taking slow steps toward him until he was standing right by the piano and looking down into wonho’s eyes as he sang to him.

 

[The song ( neol hada piano ver. )](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xozZ_qZZjUU)

 

_‘ new life, you’re the one who gave me these big wings as a present_

_it’s a little weird to say this but i don’t have a lot of time because of you_

_even when i look out the window when i wake up i keep seeing your smiling face_

_i’m busy, today to you to you, now that i see you, i’m busy_

 

_i like you, i like you, even explaining it with words it’s lacking_

_i love you, i love you, even explaining it with words_

_i do love you, i do love you_

_there are still more night to go out, things to do with you love_

 

_my heart runs to you faster than me_

_go ahead and take the heart ‘_

 

when the song finished, they were all silently holding their breath. hyungwon kept looking into wonho’s eyes as his won sparkled with tears. there was a sea breeze that messed the pink hair up as the tall figure walked the few steps toward him. wonho turned to the side and reached his hands out for hyungwon to take. the younger took them and crawled on his lap and without hesitation, pressed his lips on wonho’s in the sweetest kiss.

after a couple of minutes, when despite not having enough of each other’s lips they leaned back, hyungwon cupped wonho’s cheeks and put his forehead on the older’s and closed his eyes.

“ i _do_ love you “ the younger whispered and smiled again.

just as sudden as the cabin had fell quiet when wonho started playing, it was filled with another wave of laughter and their friends shouting their congrats at them. their group now had four more members. boyoung, jieun, jongheon and their little princess, audrey. that night, with all of them by their side and their rings on their fingers, couldn’t get any better.

 

“ let’s make a toast!!! “ jooheon said loudly as he clicked a small spoon to the champagne he had in his hand. everyone raised their glasses.

“ here’s to my dear friend who finally sucked it up and proposed. seriously man, you’ve been eating my brain ever since kihyun’s marriage with all your doubts and ‘ omg what if he says no ‘ “ jooheon laughed out loud, looking at wonho who was obvious that wanted to jump up and make him shut up.

“ oi! you’re not supposed to say that out loud! shut up! “ wonho threw an olive at him which jooheon ditched perfectly.

“ anyway, to wonho “ the latter said laughing his ass out.

they all took a sip of their drinks.

“ i’d like to make a toast as well. “ shownu said as he let go of jieun’s hand and stood up from the big round table they were all sitting at.

“ here’s to hyungwon who didn’t give up on our friend despite the many ups and downs. you both deserve to be happy and i’m so glad to see this day. to hyungwon “ they all drank again.

“ what’s this? i’m getting goosebumps all over. stop being cheesy everyone “ changkyun said rubbing his arms with his palms. they all laughed.

 

they ate dinner and audrey was in wonho’s arms the whole time. hyungwon was mostly distracted playing with her than eating his food but the older made sure he would eat as he fed him from his own plate every time he took a bite himself.

 

“ are you gonna move in a new house? “ jieun asked once they were finished eating.

wonho looked at hyungwon with a puzzled look.

“ i never actually thought about that. we could move if you want to. “ he told the younger.

“ why?! what’s wrong with the one we’re living at?! “ he asked back and they both looked like two dumb teenagers at jieun who was just laughing at them for the answer.

“ there’s nothing wrong with your house. it’s just that usually people change their place once they’re married. “ she explained.

wonho looked at hyungwon from the corner of his eyes again. he really didn’t have any emotional attachments to the apartment. if his lover wanted to change, then they would. as long as it wasn’t some ridiculously big house like shownu and kihyun’s. he didn’t like big places.

“ nah, i like the one we’re living at a lot. it has all of our memories in it. i don’t wanna move just yet. “ the younger was his exact opposite when it came to stuff like that. he was apparently very much attached to the place.

wonho was about to say something when he felt the cute little head getting heavier on his arm. looking down, he saw that audrey had fallen asleep. biting his lip not to scream out from how soft he was feeling, he looked up at boyoung. the younger girl smiled at him and stood up to take her from wonho. she put audrey on the couch she was sitting at and put kihyun’s jacket on her.

“ isn’t she gonna wake up if we keep being loud like this? “ jeonghan asked. actually for the first time that night.

“ nah. she’s a deep sleeper. thank god! “ the mother replied.

“ wow. we have two hyungwons in this group now. “ minhyuk exaggerated and facepalmed comically.

“ actually, we have three. “ changkyun chuckled. “ i think jeonghan and hyungwon can compete in who will sleep through any natural disaster “ 

“ huh! for real?! “ wonho asked with widened eyes, not being able to believe there was someone who would be a deeper sleeper than the chae hyungwon!

“ yeah. jeonghan won’t wake up no matter what! “ hyungwon replied laughing and shaking his hand.

wonho wanted to ask how the younger knew but then recalled the fact that they were both at the hospital.

 

the rest of the night went by smoothly with them dancing to the music that was being played in the whole area. wonho had rented it all for three days from months ago since he didn’t wanna have any headaches trying to hide from paparazzi or stalking fans with their cameras.

they were having some safe kind of fun until they heard a massive splash of water. yes, minhyuk had indeed pushed jooheon into the pool by the cabins. as if that had been a cue, the rest of them jumped into the pool as well and started a water war. the whole place was filled with loud laughter and screams. jeonghan was sitting on a chair next to the pool with audrey in his hands as he refused to get in the water because he was scared of it.

somehow, and it was totally unintentional, hyungwon and wonho ended up kissing in the water with water dripping down their hair. which didn’t last long as all the others started splashing water at them and shouting at them to stop being gross. the younger blushed as he realized that he had just kissed him in front of jieun and boyoung and hid his face behind his palms and leaned into wonho’s embrace. the older chuckled and ruffled his hair.

“ then go on and be gross yourselves as well. no one’s stopping you!” the singer said and splashed water back at few of them.

 

hyungwon ended up playing around in the water with minhyuk and changkyun. they were gonna compete in who would be able to hold his breath longer under water.

“ pfft, you will all lose to pinkwonnie “ wonho snorted.

they went underwater but the snakes decided to tickle hyungwon to make him lose and it worked as the younger was extremely ticklish. he came up out of the water in a matter of seconds, coughing and laughing like crazy and trying to escape from the evil hands and failing.

laughing, wonho swam to them and took the hand hyungwon stretched toward him and pulled him out of the two devils’ reach.

“ you lost. now you gotta do the penalty. “

before they could see what the penalty was, kihyun spoke.

“ guys, it’s getting cold. do you mind if we head to our room? i’m afraid audrey will catch a cold if we stay longer. “

“ of course not! go ahead. “ wonho shook his hand in the air “ and thanks for coming all the way here. it really means a lot to me. “ 

kihyun patted him on the shoulder firmly and smiled reassuringly before getting out of the pull and helping his wife out as well. getting their stuff, boyoung took her daughter from jeonghan, thank him and with exchanging ‘ good nights ‘ they left to their room.

“ okay. back to the penalty. “ jooheon clapped his hands.

“ what penalty? they tickled me! it’s not fair! “ hyungwon whined and pushed his wet hair back, displaying his forehead.

“ let’s do a rematch. no tickling this time! “ shownu said as he joined in the competition as well.

“ i’m in “ jieun raised her hand excitedly.

the five of them went underwater with jeonghan’s signal as he was in charge of the timer.

the first one to got up was none other than changkyun followed by minhyuk not even 10 seconds after they went underwater. about a minute later shownu came up as well. but jieun and hyungwon didn’t come up for at least another three minutes.

“ god, this is actually getting scary. someone pull them up please! “ minhyuk looked at the two boyfriends who their partners were competing.

“ let me check on them “ shownu went underwater again.

“ can you believe they’re down there smirking at each other?! “ the older said as he came back up.

wonho just laughed cause he could perfectly imagine it. in the end it was jieun who came up first. hyungwon came up after that when he was sure he won. he wiggled his eyebrows and did his signature dance which was basically just shaking his hands on top of his head and wiggling his hips.

wonho pulled him in his arms and hugged him tightly as he whispered in his ear

“ stop being cute. “ he paused as hyungwon wrapped his arms around him “ or come be cute in my bed “ he added in a breathy voice and bit on the cute earlobe gently right after. he felt how the younger’s fingers dug into the muscles of his back through his soaked shirt.

“ take me to your bed then. “ hyungwon whispered back and placed a quick kiss on his shoulder before leaning back and crawling out of the pool.

“ shit. why is it so cold! “ he screamed and curled into himself as soon as he was out.

“ i think we should all head inside. it’s getting really dark and cold here “ shownu said and hugged jieun as he got out of the pool with her in his arms. wonho and changkyun followed.

“ you guys go ahead. we’re gonna stay a bit longer. “ jooheon waved at them.

 

 

they were leaving a path of water drops on their way to their room. hyungwon was shaking so he told wonho to show him their room and then he grabbed the older’s wrist as they ran toward its direction.

as soon as the door was closed behind them, the older started taking hyungwon’s clothes off. his own followed right after and they crawled under the thick blanket, squeezed to each other.

 

after a while of silently shivering, when it was finally getting warm again, hyungwon heard the gentle low voice of his man talk

“ i’m sorry i can’t hold a wedding for us. i would take you to the most beautiful place on earth and have our wedding there with everyone we care about, present. i’d give you two little kittens and maybe a dog as your gift and we’d let them play around freely in our backyard.” wonho chuckled imagining that kind of life. “ i’m sorry i can’t do any of that hyungwon.. “ 

the younger leaned on his elbow as he lifted up his body and stared down right into his eyes with his own big ones.

“ you.. you fantasized about that? “ he asked with a shocked expression “ to have a house and a yard and raise pets with me? “

wonho smiled “ of course. i.. “ he let his hand travel upward on his lover’s side and caressed the plump lip with his thumb before letting his hand land on his own stomach. “ i often think about the future. whether you’d be able to tolerate my lifestyle for a long time. whether you’d feel lonely if i take the steps that i wanna take in my career a few years from now. whether you’d get sick of my thing, the way i look at things, by then “ he talked slowly as their eyes never left each other.

hyungwon moved and sat on his lap. he leaned down until their faces were only a few inches apart.

“ you don’t have to care about what the future holds or the present time. you… everything you have is mine. you’re mine. “ the younger whispered as he got closer bit by bit and pressed his soft plump lips on his lover’s curved ones for a few seconds.

“ say that one more time. “ wonho said into the touch and looked at hyungwon with an eye smile.

the younger smiled widely and pecked his lips. “ you “ another peck “ are “ and another “ mine “

suddenly the older grabbed his waist tightly and turned them around, hovering over him.

“ who is whose? let’s ask your body that. so the answer will be clear. “ wonho said with a mischievous smirk as he leaned in to take hyungwon’s breath away in a hot kiss.

 

 

 

the next morning, jooheon and shownu came to their room and took wonho out with them to the beach. hyungwon was by no means able to move. the exhaustion of the tour and the hours of lovemaking from last night kept him glued to the bed. he had the perfect view though so he wasn’t missing much.

 

 

only that his peace and quiet didn’t last long as a very wild minhyuk broke into their room with a bag in his hand.

“ wonniiiieee~ “ he jumped on the bed screeching.

“ get up, we’re gonna do something adventurous “ minhyuk took his wrist and pulled him up in a sitting position.

hyungwon whined and stretched his limbs but knew there was no way he could win against the latter so he just decided to go along with whatever he wanted to do. that was UntiL he got to know what the ‘ adventurous thing’ actually was.

 

“ fuck no! there’s no way in hell i’m dying my hair blond! “ he pushed minhyuk away from himself.

“ but whyyyy, i’m sick and tired of your sakura hair “ minhyuk whined and pouted.

“ it’s natsu’s hair and i love it. i don’t wanna go blond. what if- “ he stopped himself before he talked any further.

“ what if your husband doesn’t like it?  he will! he’s gonna love it! “ minhyuk dragged him to the bathroom and forced him to sit down.

“ it’s so… weird… calling him my ‘ husband ’ “ hyungwon got lost into his thoughts as he played with the ring on his finger as a smile appeared on his face.

“ awwww, look at you all giggly just because of a ring. you didn’t even get the real deal but you’re this happy! not that you shouldn’t be though. but i wish the world was more LGBT-friendly. “ minhyuk started putting the color on his hair.

“ hmm, me too. but… this means a lot to me min. you know how he is. his mindset. for him to do something like this, is a big step. “ he remembered the events of the day before again. his cheeks started burning as a hue of pink appeared on his skin. hyungwon wrapped his arms around himself and wiggled his legs excitedly.

“ i loved yesterday. the lake was sooooo beautifuuuuul. won was like this adorable little scared bunny, breathing fast and unsteady while we were in the sky. and then he started talking and i melted but also was thinking ‘ oh god, no, he’s gonna say let’s break up after all the sweet talk, isn’t he? ‘ and then he got on one knee and “ hyungwon couldn’t continue as he pretty much screeched for the first time in his entire life and buried his face in his palms, shaking his head repeatedly.

“ the song was perfect. i loved it so fucking much and his voice and the way he plays the piano and his whole being. i just love my husband SO damn MucH “ he shouted into the spacious bathroom and it echoed and came back to his ear. he giggled and hugged minhyuk’s waist who was just smiling widely as his stupidity while putting the hair dye on the not-for-much-longer pink hair.

 

 

40 minutes later they washed hyungwon’s hair and… it was safe to say he looked fine. at least the blond wasn’t yellowish but..

“ HE’S GONNA HATE IT “ he grabbed fistfuls of his own hair and looked in the mirror with a terrified expression on his face. he looked so different.

“ no! he’s absolutely gonna love it! you’re adorable and a permanent kitten with whatever color but this blond suits you even better than the sakura hair “ minhyuk caressed his hair and messed it up while blow drying it for him.

“ perfect! now that my job’s done here, i’m gonna go change my outfit. you change too. they are waiting for us in the garden. “

“ what?! waiting for us?! why are they waiting for us?! to see my hair?! i’m not taking a single step out of here. “ he ran to the bed and hid himself under the blanket. “ i want my pink hair baaack “ he whined and curled further into the covers.

“ ew you’re so spoiled! get your ass out and get ready. i’ll come pick you up in 15 “ minhyuk said laughing and then left.

hyungwon took his phone from the nightstand and turned the front camera on. looking at his hair and how it surrounded his face, he sighed and took a picture, posting it on twitter with the caption ‘ i’m scared ‘

 

 

 

 

 

 

wonho had been thinking about it for a long long time. actually it never really mattered to him. if you loved someone with your whole heart then that should have been enough. a piece of paper that you wrote your names on with your signature shouldn’t have meant anything. not to straight people not to any of the individuals from the LGBTQ+ community. he just couldn’t understand the whole concept of marriage.

but then kihyun’s wedding happened. and he still didn’t care but when they were putting the rings on each other, saying their vows and kissing right after, he suddenly felt how empty hyungwon’s hand in his was. rubbing on the younger’s ring finger with his thumb, he made his decision to ‘ put a ring on it ‘

at first, he thought they could travel to a foreign country where same-sex marriage was legal and get properly married there. he looked for the best plaza they could hold the ceremony at. he thought about what kind of outfit would best fit them but it all crashed down in front of his eyes when daehyun, his lawyer, told him they couldn’t do it. their country didn’t accept that kind of action even if it was filed out of the country. it sucked.

for days, wonho was considering saying goodbye to his singing career and leave to a country where they could get married and have a house of their own. maybe even adopt a kid and some pets. he could always produce music from any other country out there anyway.

but.. but he wouldn’t be able to go on stage anymore. sure, maybe a number of fans would stick by his side but it wouldn’t be the same as it was now. he loved performing. the feeling, the endorphins, the excitement, he loved it all. so he came up with a solution. he would do his job for as long as he enjoyed it, and then, when they both got enough of the stage, if hyungwon wanted it as well they would leave.

but for now, he really really deeply wanted to see a ring on both of their fingers.

he told jooheon about it first. his friend was so shocked to hear that, asking if he was drunk or something.

wonho kept looking for the perfect ring. they were all very beautiful but the unfortunate thing was, that they couldn’t have a fancy and eye-catching ring. it was one of the downsides of his career as an idol. he had to keep his sexuality at the lowest although every god damn human in the country knew about it.

that’s why he ended up keeping it simple. a simple ring in a shade of gold that would match both of their skin tones the perfect way but he couldn’t leave it as simple as that. so he told them to put each of their names on. it was cheesy or not an old gesture but he couldn’t help it. having a ring on him with his lover’s name on it would be the perfect ring for him in the whole wide world. he hoped it would be the same for hyungwon. they could always change their rings if the younger didn’t like it.

 

he started making plans as soon as he got the tour schedules. in his late-night researches, when hyungwon was sleeping in his arms soundly, he had found this very beautiful pink lake in australia. knowing that he would have three free days there, he surfed through the web further until he was sure they could get to the lake and land. the rest was easy. he just had to call and reserve the small beach hotel in advance. in addition to reserving a private jet so that their friends could get to the island comfortably.

 

a month prior to the date, he created a group chat without hyungwon and informed them of his plans. they were all showing mixed emotions and couldn’t believe it. he himself was panicking asking them ‘ what if he says no ‘ and ‘ would that mean he doesn’t wanna stay with me if he says no or that he’s just not ready for that yet ‘ it’s safe to say that for the next month, his friends went nuts from his constant messages of worry.

that’s until the night they started talking about marriage in their group chat with hyungwon. he was siting by the desk pretending to work while he was really reading their messages. a sparkle of relief showed up in his heart as he read what hyungwon wrote there. and then he couldn’t help himself but to jump and kiss his beautiful boy.

 

 

 

when he knelt down, he was dying of stress inside. hyungwon was just standing there looking at him with wide eyes. for a moment he was sure the answer would be a ‘no’

 

singing the song he made just for hyungwon with the piano was like a dream. there were 9 other people in there with them but at that moment, it felt like it’s just the two of them. his eyes could only see the tall boy and everything else was a blur. they had of course recorded the studio version of the song in jooheon’s studio because he was gonna release it and let the whole world know of the day they finally fully committed to each other but for now, it was only him and the piano.

 

he was never a fan of ‘ I’m yours ‘ and ‘ you’re mine ‘ either. and he still wasn’t. not really. but when the three words rolled on hyungwon’s tongue, they sounded so delicious that he couldn’t help himself anymore. he just wanted to devour this perfect angelic aesthetic boy he had to himself.

 

 

 

 

“ i’d much rather go back in my room and accompany hyungwon as he’s alone in bed than sitting here with you two. you should be with your partners as well and not separating me from my.. husband! “ wonho pursed his lips and frowned as he said the word out loud.

“ it is REALLY weird to call him that! can’t we keep the rings but remain boyfriends? “ he looked at the two friends desperately. they both chuckled.

“ you’re still technically boyfriends so call yourselves whatever you want! “ shownu shrugged.

“ yeah but i’m sure for hyungwon this was just as real as a wedding can get. although i wished i could do the real thing for him.. “ he sighed “ man being an idol sucks dick in situations like this “

“ it’s fiiiine! it’s hyungwon we’re talking about. he’ll understand. “ jooheon patted his back.

they were silent for a few seconds. 

“ nope. i miss him. gonna go back to our room. “ he huffed as he put his hands on his thighs in an attempt to stand up.

jooheon was quick to grab his arm and stop him “ min is with him right now. he’s not alone. don’t worry. they’re gonna join us soon. “

while the other was saying that, jieun and boyoung appeared on the other side of the table and sat down. one by one the others joined them but there was still no sign of hyungwon or minhyuk and wonho didn’t know why but he just felt like he was dying to see him for some reason.

he heard the sound of steps getting closer to them from behind but as soon as he was about to turn around, shownu took his head and hugged his head into his chest tightly. he struggled to set himself free but couldn’t. it was of no news that shownu had always been stronger than him.

he heard the others gasping and a lot of ‘ oh ‘ and ‘ aaah ’ s while he was trapped by the older.

“ okay. you can let go of him now. “ he heard minhyuk’s voice saying.

he gave shownu an annoyed look before turning around and freezing on his spot on the chair with his eyes and mouth wide open.

hyungwon’s hair was blond.

HYUNGWON’S HAIR WAS BLOND.

 

 

 

*******

 

( fan cafe )

 

**WonHo**

forever.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the ' come be cute in my bed ' is from somewhere else. i don't know where exactly. i just know that i read or watched it somewhere. and the ' let's ask your body ' part is from a Thai movie which i also don't know the name of. i wrote these two dialoges down a long long time ago becuase i loved them so much and wanted to use them here ^^
> 
> ps: next chap is smut :p


	98. Nighty Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!
> 
> this chapter is completely smut. you can skip it if you want. i wrote it months ago so plz don't mind it if there are any typos or idk mismatched info in there.( i think i refered to them as 'boyfriends' when i wrote this but whatever ) i'm currently not comfortable with 'smut'  so i'm posting it without re-reading :) enjoy!

 

 

it’s been a long time since wonho had gone on vlive due to being on an asian tour. they’ve been traveling around for a month now. having finished the concert, showered and everything, he decided to surprise the fans with a late night talk.

 

he set his phone in the perfect angle on the desk of the hotel room. the room had a perfect view of the whole city. just as he was about to sit on the chair to start the live, he was pulled back and pushed to the bed that was only a step or two away from there.

without a moment of hesitation, hyungwon hovered over him. his beautiful boyfriend had his favourite silk robe on without anything underneath. the robe had slid down on his right shoulder due to the position they were at and the belt was loose around his thin waist.

hyungwon looked into his eyes for a few seconds, his gaze full of love as he cupped his cheek with his right palm while holding himself up on his left. there was a small smile on the plump lips, adding to the angelic beauty features. his blond hair was just perfect on him. he had never thought of hyungwon with any hair colour other than pink but god bless minhyuk and his sudden actions.

his lover bit his bottom lip before closing the distance between their lips and kissing him in the most slow, passionate way possible.

their lips were the only linked parts of their bodies. wonho lifted his left hand, in an attempt to touch him, to feel more of him already but hyungwon took his hand in his before he could reach the younger’s waist and brought it above wonho’s head, letting it rest on the sheets while they intertwined their fingers sensually.

the kiss went on for long minutes. their lips melting into each other while they kept caressing each other’s hands with the linked fingers that still rest there. they didn’t speed up the kiss. it was somehow delicious this way, tasting the ice creams they had eaten just a while back on each other’s tongues that danced together in the most romantic way.

wonho loved hyungwon like this. on top of him, on all fours and in control. it was really sexy and such a fucking turn on. he would probably take all the control away later but he was basking in it in the time being.

hyungwon moved his body closer a bit, making the robe go lower on his shoulder, showing off that beautiful collarbone.

wonho couldn’t go on without touching him anymore, as he freed his hand from hyungwon’s easily and cupped his small face, deepening the kiss and exhaling through his nose. when it came to the beauty on top of him, he was the weakest being on earth and right now he didn’t want anything but to have the other close to him. as close as possible without ever letting go.

sadly, their hot sensual moment didn’t last much as the door to the hotel room suddenly opened and jongup stood at the entrance, shocked because of the scene he had just walked into.

hyungwon, being his super shy self when it came to nudity, pressed his whole body on wonho, hiding his face in the crook of his neck, away from jongup in less than a second.

wonho reached out and pulled the cover over them both. the robe hyungwon had on, covered him enough but he just knew that the younger was feeling completely naked and exposed at the moment.

jongup turned around after his tiny shock and covered his eyes.

“ i swear i didn’t see anything. “ his voice sounded quite panicked for someone like him, always being pokerfaced and all.

wonho laughed and rubbed his hand on hyungwon’s back up and down under the cover. the younger didn’t seem to want to get out of his hiding at all, fisting his t-shirt tightly with his left hand and grabbing onto his bicep with his right, his nails digging in his skin a bit. he was just begging wonho to make his manager leave through his subconscious body language. it was really seriously cute and adorable. he never understood why someone with features like hyungwon’s was so insecure when it came to showing skin.

“ there was nothing to see actually. we are both completely dressed. why the sudden visit, though? “

as soon as he finished his sentence, he felt a hot wet tongue touching the hollow spot between his neck and collarbone. the teasing tongue applied enough pressure to make him bite his lip to keep quiet and not moan in front of his still present manager.

“ you told me you wanted to go live so i came to give you the phone. “ he spoke quickly.  “ i already logged in and posted about it, thinking you were being serious so your fans are kinda waiting for you. “

“ i was being serious but a little situation happened. i was gonna log in with my own phone but now that you’re here, please leave it there. mine doesn’t go well with the app. “ the tongue was still at it. sliding slightly and even adding the teeth to make his point clear. hyungwon wanted jongup gone.

“ just make sure to go live. even if it is for 5 minutes. sorry hyungwon. “ jongup said and practically stormed off the room.

wonho ran his fingers through the strands of the boy on top of him gently, caressing and massaging the scalp while the other didn’t stop devouring his neck. the tongue was running on his sensitive skin, leaving no trace behind but making him crazy. it wasn’t rushed, just like their kiss hadn’t been.

he wanted to keep going. he wanted to, but jongup was right. he had to go live shortly and then he could come back to the arms of his partner.

“ baby, you have to let me go for a bit. “ he whispered softly in the cute little ear, sucking the earlobe into his mouth and biting on it gently.

hyungwon bit on his shoulder with a little bit more pressure at that.

“ don’t wanna. “ he said briefly before loosening his fist on his t-shirt and letting his long slim fingers run through his wet black hair and pulling lightly.

wonho pushed the cover away and cupped the cute little butt with both of his palms. it was no struggle for him to just stand with hyungwon attached to him like that. when he sat up, he moved one of his hands under hyungwon’s thighs while the lean legs circled around his waist tightly and his other hand ran back through the light silky hair, stabilizing hyungwon in case he lost balance while standing up.

taking the two steps, he sat on the edge of the chair in front of the desk with a very koala-like hyungwon on him attached ever so tightly.

“ i have nothing against going live with you attached to me just like this. are you sure you’re okay with it though? i’m gonna press start. “

he knew the reaction would be fast as hyungwon jumped down and away from him in one blink, looking at him like he had betrayed him the worst way ever.

wonho chuckled and sat back, watching the tall prince in all of his barely robe covered glory. “ i’ll make sure to keep it short. i love you. “ he blew the younger a kiss and started replacing his phone with the one jongup brought. 

“ i hate you. “ hyungwon huffed and jumped on the bed, hiding his face in the pillows.

the desk was facing the door, meaning the bed was on it’s side and not showing in the camera.

 

“ oh it started. hi wonbebe~ “ he smiled brightly and waved at the screen. because of jongup’s post, there was already too many people waiting for him that came into the live show right away.

“ woah! aren’t you guys sleepy? why are there too many of you here? “

“ oh! you were at the concert tonight? was it fun? did you get home safely? “ 

“ hmm, we already ate. i wanted to sleep but decided to talk to you a little, i won’t be staying for long though. “ 

“ where is hyungwon? hmmm, he is here. hehe.” 

“ hahahaha, no, he can’t come to the camera. he is currently a little mad at me. “ 

“ we looked good together? oooh~ thank you! he is very handsome, isn’t he? “

“ hahahahahaha, hyungwon, they’re saying they can’t wait to see you. they’re going to the next stops of the tour.”

“ what should i do? seems like hyungwon has replaced me in your hearts kkkkk “

he was reading and talking to the fans, barely 5 minutes into the broadcast as he felt two hot palms on his thighs. his body jerked and he looked to the side, where the younger had laid a few seconds ago. only that he was no longer there. he was under the table, having had crawled from the other side of it quietly and was now settling between his legs that were spread with the help of those big hands.

wonho swallowed hard and focused back on the comments.

‘ what happened? ‘

‘ did you see a ghost? ‘

‘ is hyungwon playing pranks on you? ‘

‘ kkkkk i’m in love with these boyfriends. ‘

the viewers knew something was up but they could never know that THIS was it.

hyungwon sat on his knees and looked up at him. he had placed the phone a little pointed to the wall, so he wasn’t sitting behind the desk properly, making it so easy for hyungwon to crawl there and for wonho to have a view of those big beautiful kitten eyes.

“ hmmmm, drama? i don’t know. i’ve had a few offers but the scripts weren’t interesting. “ 

his brat of a boyfriend, leaned in and mouthed his half hard erection through his sweatpants, fingertips applying a bit of pressure on his thighs.

this was still okay. it was hard but he could keep his face straight with the help of concentrating on the comments, reading every one of them and sliding them back up to read the ones he had missed with the speed they passed.

“ i’m not working on any songs now. i decided to just chill on my time off during this tour. we actually visited the famous tower of the city today with hyungwon. “

the mentioned boy decided to up his teasing game as he took his now hard buddy out of his pants and blew cold air on it.

a visible shiver ran down his spine but he shrugged it off, pretending it was a reaction to a comment he had read. in reality though, he had missed a shit ton of them, not being able to focus anymore.

he decided to read out loud the first comment that his eyes caught, his mind too caught up to know what he was actually reading.

“ oppa, you’re neck is red. did hyungwon leave his mark before the live for us to see? “ as soon as he read the last word, he understood what he had done. it was one of those comments the celebrities had to ignore but he had just read it out loud. he decided to do what he always did towards inappropriate comments. he stared right at the camera and held his gaze while shaking his head a bit.

while doing so, he felt a cold fingertip, probably hyungwon’s index finger, sliding his length from base to the top and circling it around the tip several times.

holding his eyes on the camera, to appear like he was still scolding the last person and reading the next comments, he let his hand find it’s way under the table, between his legs. as soon as he felt the fluffy hair, he fisted on it rather harshly. instead of this action appearing as a threat for hyungwon to stop the torture and have some mercy on him, it apparently had tempted the tall devil even more as he closed his plump lips around the tip and sucked hard. his fingers tightened unconsciously as he barely managed to cover his sudden uncontrollable moan with a chain of coughs.

“ wonbebe, wait a second. “ he said into the camera and grabbed the water bottle, gulping down a huge amount of it, in order to calm down but to no avail. he was absolutely dying. letting the bottle cap fall down on purpose, he bent down to ‘ pick it up ‘. he fisted hyungwon’s hair and pulled his head off of his erection harshly, mouthing a ‘ stop ‘ to him before letting go. he was turned on. he was so turned on it hurt but this was out of the line. there were underaged people watching this and even if all of them were +20 it was still not appropriate to do this. his career and his reputation were on the line. hyungwon was teasing him way too far that it was actually making him mad.

 

 

hyungwon was angry. wonho had spent at least 6 hours with the fans. it was time for him to get some attention now and instead his boyfriend had decided to choose the fans over him. he had admitted it already, to his lover, that he was indeed a jealous type of person. pushing him away to go live to share the undying love with other people was a big no. so he decided to get the attention in his own way. he knew he held so much power over the muscular guy. it was a risky move but he knew wonho could handle it… to some point at least. the other just had to finish his little ‘moment’ with fans and turn his attention to him if he wanted the torture to stop.

the pull in his hair, along with that deadpan ‘ stop ‘ and that intense gaze, turned him on so much, he didn’t think it was even possible. as he had predicted wonho was handling the situation pretty well, covering everything right before it revealed the truth. he had started this game and he wasn’t about to back down now. he would just have to deal with the ‘angry’ wonho later in bed. which he happened to…kinda, sorta love? cuz it brought the super kinky wonho out and that meant an unimaginable amount of pleasure for him. so yeah, he was definitely not gonna ‘stop’ .

looking up at his lover with pouty lips and pulling those pussycat kitten eyes, he sat there with his head a centimeter away from the fully hard erection. wonho was looking at him from the side of his eyes. he just knew it. he knew the older could never take his eyes off of him when he was between his legs.

taking both of his palms off of the juicy thighs, he put them on the cold floor and arched his back, making sure to look as innocent as he could. wonho had told him he looked like an actual kitten in that pose and he didn’t mind being one.

he stuck his tongue out just enough to leave kitten licks on the sensitive tip, all the while his big puppy eyes didn’t leave wonho. his boyfriend licked his lip and bit on his bottom one right after but keeping his expression straight otherwise.

he heard his boyfriend reading a comment and laughing at it, saying something in reply and that made his blood boil. if he wanted the attention he had to work harder. nothing was given easily.

taking a deep breath, he opened his mouth, relaxed his throat and took the older’s whole length in completely. it hit the back of his throat and went a bit further, as the other was quite big, but he was happy he almost never had gag reflexes.

wonho’s eyes widened and he held on the sides of the chair with both hands, his knuckles turning white from the pressure. hyungwon kept himself there, swallowing and hollowing his cheeks to add to the sensation.

“ okay wonbebe. sadly i won’t be able to stay with you more than this tonight. i’m kinda tired and wanna go to bed. i’ll make sure to come here again soon. hmmm, you too. hahaha no, hyungwon is not making me end it soon. okay, i gotta go. byeee “ 

 

 

wonho made sure that the live show had ended and he had turned the device off, cuz you could never trust those stupid devices anyway, before he bent down a bit, but not too much cuz he couldn’t while having his whole length in the younger’s mouth as he felt his very soul being sucked out through it.

‘let go’ he said in a serious tone but the other didn’t do as he was told.

wonho gripped hyungwon’s throat rather tightly, not minding the pressure as it was meant to be a threat to make his point clear. ‘ let.go.’ this time he spelled them thoroughly.

the younger that looked like an actual kitten, no… way cuter and hotter than any kitten, choked visibly and let go of his erection, coughing several times due to the pressure his fingers had applied. wonho used this moment while hyungwon was recovering to stand up and walk to the other side of the table.

bending down, he grabbed his bratty boyfriend’s tiny waist and just dragged him out on the floor from under the table. hyungwon yelped in shock and fell forward, landing on his palms just before he would fall on his face. that damn robe was still hanging from that bony shoulder, showing off the beautiful golden skin. there were no lights on except for that small bulb by the table. that meant the room was dimly lit by the city lights that shone through the windows.

he heard hyungwon hissing, probably due to the fall but he just didn’t care at the moment. he was way angrier than that at his jealous tease.

circling his hand around hyungwon’s waist, he lifted him up easily, letting him hang like that in half for the two steps before literally throwing him on the bed. the bed was semi-bouncy so hyungwon’s light body actually jumped back up a bit due to the push and landed on the sheets again, holding a hand on his stomach. this time, probably hurt from the way he had carried him from the floor to the bed. he still didn’t care. he had almost moaned on live broadcast many times during the 15 minutes of the show, which would be less had hyungwon not been a prankster, and now he was gonna make sure the younger would pay for his actions.

 

“ sit up. “ he said in a demanding tone, taking his clothes off and throwing them to the corner. hyungwon still wasn’t listening, still lying on his stomach, body tilted a little to the side only to be able to hold his hand on his stomach.

wonho crawled on the bed and reached out for that hand and grabbing it tightly. he made hyungwon turn around and pulled him up in a sitting position. his actions weren’t rushed. he was being steady, but made sure to deliver his points well through intensity.

he gripped hyungwon’s cheeks, making his lips become plumper than they already were. “ you made me really angry with your little teasing game. now you’re gonna be a good kitten and listen to everything i say. understood? “ 

hyungwon was a sub. there was not a single dominant bone in his tall and handsome body. the younger nodded a couple of times while looking deeply affected by the whole thing. wonho knew his boyfriend liked it rough. that’s why he allowed himself to be a bit careless sometimes. he still made sure not to hurt him though. they even had a safe word and everything. ‘ tentacle ‘ was their safe word cuz they had been watching some weird ass hentai porn at the moment they came up with it.

wonho looked at those blood red lips, pouty due to his fingers, and couldn’t hold himself back anymore as he attacked those juicy lips and devoured him hungrily. hyungwon’s arms that were previously behind his body, steading him up and making the robe fall down on both of his shoulders, made their way to his hair, pulling on them and showing how needy he already was.

breaking the kiss after becoming breathless, wonho looked around the room in search of the things he wanted. the first object, the ribbon hyungwon had put around his neck earlier at the concert with it’s bow on his nape, that had made him look like a fucking present, was on one of the chairs across the room.

he took both of hyungwon’s wrist and slid the bony hands down from his hair slowly, kissing both palms briefly before letting them go and crawling out of the bed.

 

 

hyungwon’s hands landed on his lap as he felt a bit sad that he was left alone in bed. again.

wonho walked to the chair they had left most of their clothes on and took his own black tie and the black cotton ribbon he had put on earlier, to cover the hickey wonho had left on him in the elevator just before going on the stage at the last minute. he was too occupied with feeling sad and left alone to think about what his boyfriend was gonna do with those objects. it didn’t take long but that 40 seconds that he was left alone was enough for him to actually want to start crying after all the ‘no attention’ he had gone through that night.

“ what are you so pouty for? i haven’t even started with you yet. “ his muscular daddy material boyfriend smirked at him while walking back to the bed rather calmly.

“ exactly. you haven’t STARTED YET. “ he emphasized on the last two words and pouted some more, adding a bit of frowning to it as well.

wonho chuckled at his childish act and crawled back on the bed, sitting next to him on his knees.

“ never wear a ribbon the way you did tonight in front of other people again.“ he said in a quiet low voice as he put the silky material around his neck and tied it, rotating the bow so that it was on his nape just like he himself had done it earlier that day.

“ you left an angry hickey on me. see? “ he let his fingers ghost on the spot he knew by heart to show wonho what he was talking about. “ what was i supposed to do? let everyone see it?! “

“ put on a choker or wear something with a turtle neck or just cover it with makeup next time. i don’t care, but do NOT put a ribbon on ever again. am i clear? “ wonho looked straight into his eyes with that intimidating gaze of his. he nodded, smirking.

“ why? did it look that good? “  he looked at his lover as he stretched his body over hyungwon’s legs and took something from the nightstand. hyungwon didn’t see as he was busy eyeing the muscles of his back flexing over his lap. a second later everything went dark without him even noticing it. wonho had put a blindfold on him. the black one that was on the nightstand.

“ noooo, no, please no. not a blindfold! i wanna see you.” he seriously whined and tried to reach out to remove the one thing he hated during sex but he was prevented as his both wrists were taken away to his back and soon he felt them being tied up with ,probably, the older’s tie.

as soon as his hands were tied tightly enough, he felt fingers around his throat as a breathy voice whispered in his ear. “ didn’t i tell you to listen to everything i say like a good kitten? do you want me to leave you like this, right here, right now? “

this was a real threat. he had tasted it before and it had been frustrating. he knew better to oppose so he shook his head repeatedly.

“ talk. “ that demanding tone was back and it sent several shivers down hyungwon’s spine.

“ no. please don’t leave me like this. i’ll listen to you. “ 

the fingers left his neck and he felt a soft kiss on top of his nose.

at that moment, he was just grateful that wonho’s favorite object of torture, the ring, wasn’t there. if it had, he was sure he would be getting a taste of it because of his actions earlier. he was too needy for that tonight. he just wanted wonho to fuck him into oblivion and make him cum already.

a few seconds later, he felt a finger sliding on his bottom lip as a sign for him to open his mouth.

 

 

wonho spent a good ten seconds looking at the blindfolded, wrist-tied beauty with that touch of ribbon that just added to the whole scenery in more ways than possible. he didn’t know why but that ribbon had turned him on so badly that he had barely managed to not jump his boyfriend right then on the stage. hyungwon had delicate features. his tall, slim and lean body, those big mesmerizing eyes and those dreamy lips, his cute nose and his little puffy cheeks could not handle the addition of a fucking ribbon like that. wonho didn’t want others to see him with that material cuz he knew others would be drooling over the model-like dancer just like he himself had.

sliding his index finger on the plump bottom lip, hyungwon got the sign and stick his tongue out a bit, licking the single digit before closing his lips around it and sucking it into his hot mouth. wonho bit his lip. how could someone be that hot? he was like a gift that the creator, whoever it was, had sent him. he knew he had said it so many times already but it would never be enough.

he slid another finger in as well, playing with hyungwon’s tongue and letting it run between and around his fingers. at one point, the actual resemblance of kitten, bit on his fingers rather hard with those straight teeth of his and kept his teeth on them like that. wonho hissed at the pain that shot through his hand and tried to get his fingers out but to no avail. he knew that hyungwon was being rebellious and he needed to do something about it or else his fingers might just start bleeding with the adding pressure. he did the only thing he could think of.

wonho closed the oxygen intake of the blindfolded boy with the thumb and index finger of his other hand that was not being tortured. but soon a devilish smirk appeared on the plump lips and that’s when he remembered: hyungwon could hold his breath for at least 10 minutes. as his first strategy had failed, he could only think of only one other thing: to pinch that super-sensitive spot on his ribs.

smirking back although the other couldn’t see it, he let go of the cute nose and pinched him without hesitation. hyungwon’s body jerked dramatically and let go of his poor fingers at last.

“ you’re mean.”  his panting boyfriend exhaled.

“ you bit me! “ he said in a louder tone, not believing what had just happened as it was quite new for hyungwon to behave like that.

“ it’s your punishment for not giving me the attention i need.” his boyfriend said with a smirky pout, showing he was enjoying himself quite a bit.

“ oh as if you are in the position of casting punishments. “ he said and grabbed the back of the younger’s neck, pushing his face to the sheets and pulling his hips up in the air with his other hand that was still stinging from the hard bite. hyungwon’s teeth were printed on the skin of his fingers. 

“ you bit me really hard wonnie, i think you know what’s awaiting you now.” wonho said as he let go of hyungwon who had no choice but to stay like that, with his face pushed into the mattress, because of his hands being tied behind him.

without warning or hesitation, he started rimming the younger who jerked at the first touch of his tongue on his hole.

not even a second later, hyungwon started to moan, loud and hot enough to make its way between wonho’s legs and make the blood rush there, making him harder than he had ever been.

all the moaning encouraged him to rile hyungwon up further. he wanted to make him cum just from his tongue and he knew with the over sensitive body of his golden-skinned lover, he would indeed cum untouched like that.

he was ghosting his right hand on the side and back of the slim body while keeping hyungwon steady with his other. it didn’t really take much for hyungwon to start trembling at his touches, responding to every little one, with those sexy filthy sounds he made.

“ hyung, hyung stop. i’m really close. “ the younger cried out but he didn’t stop. he had planned on making hyungwon cum multiple times tonight and leave him without an ounce of energy for all the rebellious he had shown.

“ fuck, hyung, no, i don’t want it to end like this. “ the younger said that but couldn’t hold himself back as he came while moaning nonstop.

wonho stopped and hovered over hyungwon. he opened the tie, turning him around with little to no effort. wonho pecked the parted lips and smiled seeing his fucked out face and that blindfold. he had slept with a number of people but no-one was as beautiful as hyungwon like this. or ever.

“ who said anything about it ending? we’re just getting started baby. “ he said and placed a kiss on his cheek. wonho grabbed the now free wrists and placed them above hyungwon’s head, tying them to the headboard this time. hyugwon still had the robe on but it was hanging around his body poorly. the white color of the silky material matched with the blackness of the objects limiting hyungwon’s actions, perfectly.

 

 

hyungwon’s eyesight was still blocked with that stupid blindfold. at first, it was okay cuz his face had been pushed into the mattress anyway. but now, in their current position, he really wanted it gone. he wanted to see wonho. his boyfriend’s body was art itself and it was such a shame if he couldn’t look at it.

he had cum but he hadn’t got what he wanted. namely, getting fucked. so he wasn’t pleased yet. not at all.

“ can’t you just fuck me already? “ he whined, trying to free himself from the tie that prevented his hands from touching his lover and spreading his legs in invitation.

“ Patience. i have to prepare you first wonnie. “ wonho said as he heard some shuffling but couldn’t fucking see anything.

“ you just rimmed me into orgasm. i’m prepared enough. “ he nagged, the need clouding his mind.

a slap landed on his inner thigh without any warning. he yelped and closed his legs on instinct. the slap hadn’t been that hard per se but it still left his skin stinging.

“ quit the nagging or i’m gonna have to gag your pretty mouth as well. open your legs. “ a hand pushed his leg a bit, showing him the source of the voice had not been joking about making him pay for his actions. not that he was complaining though!

he opened his legs slowly but far enough to fit his boyfriend between them as he knew he would probably crawl between them to kiss him. and that was what he was waiting for, lips pressing against his, so when a hot tongue ran on the skin that had been slapped his body jerked.

the tongue kept soothing the skin. wonho must have been angry at himself for the redness of the skin and was now trying to make it go away.

“ it’s okay baby. just,… kiss me? “ he was thirsty for those delicious curved lips. wonho’s lips were way softer than they appeared, they made you addicted. it was a real struggle.

his boyfriend complied for once that night and crawled up between his spread legs, caressing his skin with both of his palms in light touches before the lips he had desired finally landed on his. they kissed, like it was their first time. like they hadn’t kissed for years and were now making up for the lost time, hungrily but passionately.

after a few minutes, wonho moved down to his neck, pressing light kisses on the sensitive areas but not giving him the full touch he wanted.

the kisses kept happening, every time on a spot he couldn’t predict therefor his body would betray him and jerk slightly due to the surprise. each time a surprise happened, it was like an electric shock went through his body, making him covered in goosebumps.

“ hyung,… please… “ he breathed out, body already tired of the wait but still burning from the touches.

he bucked his hips in hopes of creating friction but his strong buff lover pushed him down and kept him there.

wonho closed his lips around a nipple, circling his tongue. hyungwon moaned loudly and arched his back. his lips were parted as he couldn’t keep quiet anymore. he was so turned on it was physically painful and he had just cum a few minutes ago.

when his boyfriend felt like the kisses and touches had been enough, he left him. hyungwon heard a click that must have been from the bottle of lube. once again, he was expecting a finger circling around him and then entering him but what he got was an actual betrayal that made him angry to the point he took a mental note to bite down on wonho’s neck so hard the next day, no make up would be able to cover it. what was the betrayal? HeadPhones, those big ass ones wonho used to block the noise from the outside world, on his damn ears. he was blindfolded, tied up and now he couldn’t hear a single fucking thing. just perfect.

hyungwon talked, cursing his boyfriend and telling him to go fuck himself, not caring if his voice would be loud due to the loudness of the music that was playing in his ears. the song was chosen carefully. ‘ simon curtis’s flesh ‘

 

two fingers entered him. carefully at first but as soon as they were inside, they were curled up, mercilessly applying pressure and rubbing over the bundle of nerves. his hips were held down in an iron grip with those huge biceps he was not able to see and could only imagine.

 

‘Push up to my body, sink your teeth into my flesh

 

Bite into me harder, sink your teeth into my flesh’ 

 

the music sang right into his ears, not making it easy for him to hold back. his whole body was shaking in sensation. not being able to see or hear or move, multiplied his every sense, blowing his mind.

hyungwon was sure he was moaning. he couldn’t hear it himself but he was certain. he felt the vibration of his own vocal strings and knew that he might have been moaning louder than suitable for a hotel room but he couldn’t bring himself to care at that point. there were two fingers in him, pushing him up on every wall and not giving him what he actually wanted at the same time. he was close again. 

 

‘Hold my arms above my head and push my face into the bed

 

'Cause I'm a screamer baby, make me a mute

 

You put your hand upon my neck and feel the pulse beat-beat-beat-beat

 

It's like a trigger get me ready to shoot’

 

he screamed, or the voice in his head did, telling his lover that he was so close to the edge. but as soon as he said that, hot lips closed around his tip, sucking hard on it. hyungwon came with what he assumed was a loud, full of curse groan. his body went limp. he had cum twice without being fucked even for a second.

 

 

wonho had never seen a better scenery than what he was seeing at the moment. his dancer kitten was laying there, so out of breath and panting roughly. his knees had fallen down to the mattress. the robe wet from the sweat while those big hands that had been trying to set himself free previously, were just resting on the pillow tiredly.

he had taken hyungwon’s tip on this mouth just before the latter had cum and he was still around him. he didn’t even give the boy a moment to calm down a bit and just moved down the length to the base, taking him all in.

hyungwon groaned again, throwing his head back and grabbing the tie around his wrists helplessly. he heard a shaky “ hyung, i’m sensitive, wait, please wait “ but he had not planned on listening to anything the other was gonna say tonight. not until it would be ‘tentacles’

he started moving up and down the whole length, bobbing his head and circling his tongue around the now half hard erection.

hyungwon’s chest was rising and falling repeatedly but it was clear he didn’t have as much energy he had used at moaning that loudly anymore.  he was just letting out low breathy ones. wonho was kinda sure the whole floor had heard hyungwon a little while back when he had kept hitting the spot dead on until he came.

 

 

hyungwon was losing his senses. he had just come but he didn’t have the slightest time to recover as the sinful mouth went down on him and started blowing him the best way possible. wonho was too good of a blower for a top. he had always considered it a gift from heavens but right now, with his post-orgasm over-sensitivity, he was dying. he knew wonho was punishing him like this. making him lose all his energy, cum several times so that he himself would give up on what he had wanted cuz he wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.

those lips, that tongue and the skilled movements made him go absolutely crazy. soon, the over sensitivity turned into full-on erection again. the fingers had left him right after his orgasm but now he was wishing to have them back. he was turned on. so high on the edge but not able to jump down from it because of the previous ones.

 

‘Hold me up against the wall

 

Give it 'til I beg, give me some more

 

Make me bleed, I like it rough

 

Like it rough, rough, rough’

 

he sure did like it rough. maybe that’s why not even 3 minutes after, he started begging wonho to make him cum again already.

hyungwon grabbed on the tie for dear life as his thighs trembled violently, not able for him to stop and also not caring to do so. his head thrashed from side to side, biting on his bottom lip and pleading his lover.

he felt fingers massaging his balls and that was when he was graced with the release at last. he had lasted much longer the third time. his body was screaming at him to stop.

 

 

wonho swallowed everything again and let go of the poor kitten that this time, looked like he had literally lost his soul.

he was fast as he sat up and removed the headphones, turning them off and throwing them to the nightstand.

hyungwon was in a complete fucked out state. his body was covered in sweat, he didn’t even have the energy for panting anymore and he was just laying there in all his tired, used up glory. his body was so hot, it felt like there was actual volcano under his skin but the shade was a bit pale, not the original golden it had been.

wonho leaned in next to the cute curved ear and whispered “ you good? “ 

it took hyungwon a couple of seconds to react to him, making him think that he had already fallen asleep. three times had always been the boy’s limit.

the younger swallowed hard, showing how dry his throat must have been, and nodded tiredly after.

“ do you wanna shower or will you go to sleep right away? “ 

he was hard as fuck. he was actually going insane but he couldn’t possibly ask hyungwon to let him fuck his mouth at this point and the latter must have been way more sensitive and energyless to be able to handle his dick inside at his current state.

he untied the beauty’s wrists and moved his arms slowly downwards, knowing that they must have fallen asleep after such a long time being held above the latter’s head like that. 

“ you haven’t fucked me yet. “ those red plump lips whispered in that sexy low voice.

wonho’s eyes widened in surprise. he had not expected hyungwon to still want that. the latter had always fallen to the dreamland right after the third orgasm.

“ i’ll fuck you tomorrow. just sleep now. “ he was soothing the irritated skin of those bony wrists with his thumbs as he spoke.

hyungwon sat up completely, the robe hanging from his elbows.

“ you’re gonna fuck me tonight, wonho or i’m gonna wear this exact ribbon for the rest of the tour. “

what was wonho supposed to say? no?!

he cupped hyungwon’s cheeks that were covered in a deep blush and pressed his lips on the plump ones. from the dryness of the skin, he remembered that he had wanted to give hyungwon some water.

reaching out for the bottle right next to the bed on the stand, he opened the cap and pressed it on the younger’s lips. “ water “

hyngwon drank without a word and moved away when he had enough. the lights were falling on him, creating shadows on his body perfectly.

“ remember our safe word? “ 

 “ yes “

the younger laid back down, his head on the fluffy pillow from before, spreading his legs and stretching his arms toward were he had assumed wonho must be.

he didn’t waste a second before he lubed up, crawled between those long lean legs, threw them over his shoulders and moved inside the still tight walls. the younger circled his arms around him desperately. he didn’t think hyungwon would be able to take him tonight after he was done playing with him therefore he had used only two fingers. that’s why the always tight hyungwon was now even tighter.

moving in completely, he stilled and leaned down. he had enjoyed the restricted hyungwon enough and now he wanted to see those beautiful big eyes half-lidded while he fucked into him. 

he slowly took the blindfold off and hyungwon blinked several times to get used to ‘seeing’ again.

“ hi there “ wonho smiled at him.

hyungwon on the other hand, just stared at him, moving his gaze from eye to eye before he pushed him down with his hands and heals and attached their lips again. it didn’t last long as hyungwon pulled back. 

“ move “ the younger said and bit his lip right after, keeping it between his teeth.

wonho applied, he moved out nearly all the way before pushing back with as much force as he could. hyungwon’s eyes rolled back as he arched his back and nails dug into his shoulders. the younger screamed loudly, not able to keep himself under control.

“ again. please just fuck me senseless baby “ 

unlike hyungwon, wonho had his energy on full bars so he went all out. he fucked hyungwon deep and rough, making the younger mumble incoherent words. his arms had fallen to the mattress for a while now as he had no energy left to keep them around wonho anymore. he was half conscious, mind and body completely used and kept on the edge of his last orgasm before shutting down.

wonho himself was moaning and groaning from the tightness and the fact that he hadn’t even touched himself the whole act. for someone with a high endurance as wonho, he didn’t last long.

hyungwon must have felt he was close as he kept telling him to cum inside between all of the words that wonho couldn’t put meaning to at this point. the younger was completely out of it.

it didn’t take him more than a couple of thrusts before he buried himself deep inside hyungwon and came inside him. it was like hyungwon had been waiting for him as the younger let go and came for the fourth time on his own stomach. wonho rode them both out of their highs before pulling out slowly and carefully. reaching out he took some tissues and cleaned hyungwon up. as soon as he was done, the younger stretched his limbs lazily, again like a tired kitten.

wonho chuckled and sat next to him on the bed.

“ is my wonnie’s body sore? “ he asked with a childlike voice while massaging the younger’s thighs. 

hyungwon frowned slightly and pouted. “ hmmm, i can’t feel anything. “ his voice was so hoarse, wonho could spend the rest of his life living in that exact moment.

“ you came four times baby. what do you expect! “ he slid his hands on the beautiful skin until he reached the arms and started massaging them as well.

“ and whose fault is that?! “ hyungwon opened his eyes a bit, looking at him and throwing him a judgmental look.

“ yours! what if i had actually moaned on the live show won?! our lives would be over! we would have to run to some far away isolated island, away from other people and the internet cuz that shit would spread fast worldwide! “ he finished and slapped hyungwon’s cheek playfully.

the latter had the nerve to chuckle as his head moved a bit due to the gentle slap.

“ imagine the headlines! “

“ imagine the headlines?!!! imagine th- “ wonho repeated furiously, not believing the nerves of this tall dancer. his hands stopped massaging for a couple seconds as he stared at the younger, shaking his head.

“ it’s clear that after cumming four times like that, you still haven’t learned your lesson. “ his hands started moving again, back to the legs.

“ oh it was a lesson?! i was busy enjoying the shit out of every second of it, sorry. “ hyungwon smirked at him with his mischievous eyes.

“ what am i supposed to do with you! “ he said smirking back and leaning in to peck the addicting lips.

hyungwon stretched his long arms towards him like an actual baby 

“ cuddles “

wonho wanted to just as they said “ wrap hyungwon in a blanket and put him in his pocket “ at how cute his little koala was. laying down next to the love of his life, he wrapped his arms around him and kissed his forehead.

“ i love you. “

hyungwon moved closer and rested his head on his chest, circling his limbs around him. “ i love you too. “

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually have another smut chap ( which i also wrote mooooonths back for the very last chapter of this story ) but i don't think i'll update it. now that i think about it, it's super weird and i don't like it anymore! ...
> 
> { but don't worry Naj, i'm gonna send it to you in private cuz you've been waiting for too long hehe }


	99. Ninety Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi~
> 
> so i sent the other smut chap to my friend and she basically ordered me to post it so here we go. this chap is also only smut. skip if you want.
> 
> also, the next chapter is the epilogue. Don't fall will finally come to an end.. 
> 
> ps: i'm sorry if this chap is too weird. idk what i was thinking while writing it back then! :/

Wonho woke up first and looked at the beautiful man sleeping peacefully in his arms. he was gonna be home all day but hyungwon had a little thing he had to attend to for a couple of hours. it didn’t matter how long they’ve been together or how many times they’ve had sex, wonho didn’t seem to be able to get enough of his boyfriend, ever. right now, his fingers were aching to touch the gorgeous body, in whichever way possible. but a naughty thought came to his mind and he was ready to perform it on his innocent-looking boyfriend. smirking to himself and thinking how hyungwon would love it in the end, although he was sure he would be cursed at and glared at a few times during his plan, he started kissing the boy’s neck and sucking on the sensitive spot that still hadn’t recovered from three days ago when he had marked him. he knew hyungwon wouldn’t wake up this easy so he moved a hand down between their bodies and started stroking his boyfriend’s d*ck very slowly and tenderly. hyungwon sure did flinch but still didn’t wake up, he was the heaviest sleeper wonho had ever seen in his life. he knew what he had to do for his lover to wake up. he moved his head downwards until he reached a special part of the younger’s skin, on the side of his ribcage. this was the most sensitive part of skin hyungwon had in his whole body. one touch and he would just bend in half. wonho placed a soft kiss on the spot he had mentally memorized. hyungwon whined and shifted a little. this time wonho bit on the spot gently and then licked the spot when hyungwon’s body jerked and a hand traveled in his hair, gripping on it rather hard. looking up, he saw hyungwon’s sleepy eyes open and looking at him. he crawled up and touched the younger’s lips with his, not kissing, just rubbing their lips together. his hand was still around the now half-hard erection of the boy in his arms.

“ why are you doing this to me? “ hyungwon pouted and tightened the grip of his hand in wonho’s hair. wonho looked at his eyes and lips back and forth, not knowing which one he wanted to kiss more. licking on his lip on the thought of the things he wanted to do to hyungwon, he leaned in closer until their lips were nearly touching, staring straight into the younger’s eyes.

“ hyungwonnie, baby, will you let me play with you today a little? “ he paused and placed a kiss on hyungwon’s nose. “ hm?”he continued the slow strokes and pecked every part of hyungwon’s face. eyes, cheeks, lips, jawline and more. hyungwon looked at him intently, not sure if he had enough energy for it. he had been practicing really hard these days and his body was not in the best condition for wonho’s adventures, which he knew would be a lot to take and at the same time ridiculously satisfying. not being able to refuse the offer as he knew wonho would never push him too far if he wasn’t comfortable with something, he nodded slowly. wonho smiled brightly at him, very pleased with the answer. he nibbled on his earlobe before his cheek and finally pressing his lips in a closed mouth kiss to hyungwon’s.

“ take a shower and get cleaned up babe. i want you to have a plug today while you’re at your little meeting. would you do that for me? “ his boyfriend whispered in his ear. the thought of being plugged during a very formal meeting with the company made a shiver run down his spine. but he wanted to know how it would feel to be kept on the edge without being able to jump so he nodded again and got off the bed to go to the bathroom, earning a spank from wonho on his way.

after cleaning up, he came out of the shower naked cuz he knew there was no point in putting any towel around him. he knew wonho would throw him on the bed as soon as he was out. his boyfriend had a sex drive of a god, not that he was complaining.

and so it happened as expected. as soon as he walked out, wonho hugged and pushed him against the wall, kissing him passionately while his hands traveled up and down his body. after several minutes of melting into the kiss, wonho picked him up and put him down on the bedsheets, crawling between hyungwon’s bent knees himself. he wasted no time in taking the younger’s erection in his mouth, immediately deep throating him and keeping his head down, making hyungwon ’s body tense and then relax while he inserted a lube coated finger inside his boyfriend. hyungwon hadn’t expected it so soon so the shock added to the intensity and he moaned loudly. louder than he had intended. he grabbed on wonho’s hair tightly without realization, making wonho hum around his d*ck and sending him to the oblivion. pushing his head further in the pillows, he felt how wonho inserted a second finger and started moving slowly while also bobbing his head at the same speed. hyungwon was always a lost cause when it came to slow actions of pleasing sensation. he would cry in pleasure and lose himself. right now, he would do anything for wonho to just make him come. he couldn’t take this for long as he needed to release soon. adding a third finger and stretching him enough, wonho stopped everything he was doing and moved his fingers out, looking down at a furious whining hyungwon. he leaned in and kissed hyungwon again, tongues dancing together while his hand caressed the younger’s inner thigh.

“ not so fast wonnie. i wanted to plug you, remember? “ he whispered in his face, hot breath tickling hyungwon’s skin.

“ just do it already, i’m dying. “ hyungwon said and his boyfriend giggled, pecking his lips once before sitting up and coating the plug he picked up from the nightstand with lube. placing himself between the younger’s leg again and kissing the inner thigh, he looked up at the big beautiful puppy eyes “ take a deep breath babe.” and when hyungwon did, he inserted the plug slowly inch by inch. it wasn’t a big one cuz he didn’t wanna make the younger uncomfortable or hurt, he just wanted to tease him to death and make him go crazy. after the entire thing disappeared in the gorgeous ass, he kissed along the inner thighs tenderly again and put his boyfriend’s briefs on him. hyungwon’s eyes widened with anger at the action, slapping the older’s bicep rather hard.

“ are you gonna leave me hanging like this?! i’m fucking dying. “ he snapped, glaring at the older who was just smirking, showing those beautifully straight teeth. he knew his boyfriend was a tease, a very very tortuous one but this was a whole new level of everything he had ever done to him. how was he supposed to even put on pants without his erection saying hi to everyone like this?

wonho captured his lips again, this time in a long-lasting kiss and a slower one, sucking on his tongue and bottom lip. hyungwon was lost in the action again until he remembered he was supposed to be mad so he pushed the older away. wonho laughed out and brushed hyungwon’s hair out of his face repeatedly, admiring his face by looking at each part with heart-shaped eyes and a wide smile on his face.

“ god, you’re so beautiful. i’m so lucky. “ he placed a kiss on his forehead. “ and regarding you’re little issue here, you could take a cold shower.” he leaned in again very dangerously close as his face changed into a naughty expression and his voice became an octave lower “ but don’t you dare touch yourself baby. “ then he got off the bed, leaving a frustrated hyungwon frozen there. hyungwon had taken that cold shower in the end cuz it was his only hope at making the erection disappear.

walking around with a fucking plug in his ass wasn’t as hard as he had thought. the hard part was the continuous friction. he couldn’t focus on anything. he had barely been able to talk and all he could think of was the way wonho would touch him and make him feel things when he got back home later. to add to his frustration, the meeting had gone an hour more than it was planned to so he was literally ready to cry, yelling at everyone that he needed to be fucked so it was time for them to go fuck themselves and let him go home already.

while hyungwon was gone, wonho had gotten everything he needed for the party he had planned for his sexy boyfriend, ready. he wanted to make him lose himself and completely let go of his sanity. he wanted to hear those sounds and see that delirious face he had missed so much. it took hyungwon more than he thought to come back and he actually felt a little bit guilty for putting the toy in him cuz he knew hyungwon was very very sensitive but he decided that he would definitely have to make it up to him later.

hyungwon finally got back home and as soon as he opened the door and saw wonho standing by the kitchen counter, looking at him, he rushed towards him, clashing their lips together furiously, breathing loud and fast through his nose and taking his jacket off immediately. he needed their skin to touch. he needed it now.

wonho hugged hyungwon’s body tightly and turned them around, making hyungwon’s back be pressed against the counter, taking the tie off, he wasn’t patient enough to unbutton the whole shirt so he decided to just rip it apart full-force. hyungwon yelped at the action but soon more lust rained in his eyes and he grabbed wonho’s hair and moved his head and made him attach his lips to his neck. wonho got the sign and went for abusing the sensitive spot of the younger’s neck, biting and sucking on it harshly, making hyungwon moan very loud while he moved his hips forward to get some friction but as their erections were about to touch through cloth, wonho grabbed his hips and made him stay in place and unable to move. he then undid the button and the zipper and freed his boyfriend’s long lean legs from the unnecessary material. making him jump up on the counter and spreading his knees with his hands, he bent down and bit into the golden skin of the inner thighs, leaving small marks behind. hyungwon groaned in frustration, he was horny, so horny and his boyfriend wasn’t giving him what he wanted. he grabbed a fist full of wonho’s hair and made him look up.

“ i swear to god if you keep on teasing me, i’ll kick your balls. now fuck me. “ wonho smirked at him, not taking any of the threats hyungwon gave him seriously, ever.

“ there’s something i want you to do for me first. i told you i wanna play with you today. you didn’t think i would let you off that easily, did you? “ the sassy teasing asshole of a boyfriend was back at it again. sure hyungwon would always thank the god of sex or whoever had invented pleasure afterwards but during the action, he would always want to kill the tease right on the spot, make him choke on his d*ck.

“ play with me then, fucking start your play already.” then he thought of a strategy that had always worked on wonho in getting what he wanted. pulling his puppy eyes out and pouting his lips a bit , he lowered his head a little so he had to look up with his eyes into wonho’s eyes “ play with your kitten, please. “ he said in a playful innocent tone. as he expected, it effected wonho immediately as he licked his lips and bit on the lower one harshly, making the smooth skin crack a bit before picking him up from the counter in an iron grip, taking them both to the bedroom. but hyungwon did not expect what he was seeing at all. there was a chair in there he had never seen before. one of those they only used in those fancy bdsm porn videos that had ropes and cuffs on them that would keep the body perfectly still. hyungwon was silent and wonho was looking at him closely, to see his expression. the younger finally looked back at wonho who was still holding him up while standing, like he weighed nothing.

“ where did you get that?! “ hyungwon asked with huge eyes and wonho grinned.

“ why? you don’t like it? “ his boyfriend’s tone was as teasing as it could get, spanking him and therefore making the plug cause a little more friction inside him. he flinched at the sensation and bit hard into wonho’s shoulder for revenge which made wonho hiss in pain while digging his fingers in the hyungwon’s thighs. hyungwon felt his own d*ck twitch so he knew his body was already excited about what was to come.

“ i won’t know if you don’t start doing whatever it is you’ve planned. “ that was all wonho needed to start, a hungry hyungwon, willing to do whatever he asked him to. he got hyungwon right where he wanted without the poor boy even realizing and he was supposed to be the one who was good at reading other people’s actions as he used to be a psychiatrist.

wonho put him down on the bedsheets slowly and spread his legs, taking the end of the plug and moving it out carefully. hyungwon hissed at the sensation as moving out a toy was never comfortable for him. after taking it out and throwing it aside, wonho didn’t waste any time to lean down and start licking his hole, fucking him with his tongue in the best way possible. hyungwon lost it immediately and became a moaning mess, grabbing every patch of sheet he could take hold of. wonho began stroking the younger’s d*ck while his tongue was doing it’s job, thus making the younger harder than before. he didn’t do it for long though as he needed hyungwon in another way.

hyungwon glared at him for the nth time to know why he had stopped again and saw his boyfriend was coating a dildo shaped vibrator with lube. the dildo wasn’t very thick or long, it would be just enough to press against the prostate and he knew already his body would end up shaking like hell like the last experience he had with a similar toy.

placing the toy between the younger’s legs, wonho placed a few kisses on hyungwon’s stomach before slowly pushing the toy inside and looking at his boyfriend’s pleasing expression. eyes half closed, looking at him with his mouth open and hands holding on to the sheets above his head. it was super hot and wonho died everytime he looked at a horny hyungwon just to be brought back to life with the hot moans. when the toy was all the way in, he moved up, kissing every patch of skin he could reach until he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked hard but slow on it, twirling around it with his tongue and looking at hyungwon who was looking back at him with eyes full of lust. giving the left self-control up, hyungwon threw his head back breathing harshly.

“ i can’t wait anymore, wonho, please, just start already. “ wonho pecked his lips one last time and got off the bed and pointed at the said chair.

“ sit on that chair for me babe. “ hyungwon looked at him with narrowed eyes and then looked at the chair before standing up and walking to the chair, sitting on it and hissing at the friction the toy in his ass caused. this one was bigger than the plug so the sensation was double. he wanted to just fuck himself with that toy and then show a middle finger to wonho for all of this. but he couldn’t. he knew he was about to experience a different kind of pleasure so he just did everything that he was asked to.

wonho walked to the chair and started tying the ropes around him. they were fluffy so they wouldn’t harm the skin but with what hyungwon was seeing, he knew he wouldn’t be able to move, at all, once they all were applied. cuffing his ankles to each side so that his legs were spread and his hands behind the chair wonho placed kisses on his shoulders and collarbone,standing behind him and caressing his hands on the upper side of hyungwon’s body. he put on a choker on his neck, not so tight but tight enough to evoke him some more and tugged at it for the sake of seeing a heavenly reaction hyungwon gifted him with. eyes moving back a bit and a low moan echoing in the room. it was no news to him that hyungwon loved applying a little pressure on his neck. then he nibbled on his earlobe again before whispering

“ i really want to put a gag on you but then you wouldn’t be able to say the safe word if it becomes too much.” wonho bit on his jawline after. hyungwon moaned quietly at the thought of a gag.

“ i’ll find some other way to show you if it becomes too much.” wonho smirked at him, knowing that his boyfriend loved this as much as himself, taking a gag from the nightstand and putting it inside hyungwon’s mouth but not closing it tight so that the younger could make out some words if he needed to. he didn’t wanna hurt hyungwon in any way.

wonho moved in front of him and knelt between his spread legs, breathing against the hard erection. staring into hyungwon’s eyes with an innocent gaze, he took the younger’s erection into his mouth completely, bobbing his head back and forth a few times. hyungwon closed his eyes and threw his head back and just when he thought it had started and he could finally bask in pleasure, he felt something around his d*ck. looking down in a shocked expression, he felt his blood boil upon seeing a c*ck ring at the base of his erection. he tried to move to protest but he was just unable to move and now he was kind of regretting the gag cuz he couldn’t even curse wonho like this. he just shot him death glares and the older had the audacity to smirk at him in amusement. there hyungwon was, completely bondaged, spread legged with a vibrator that hadn’t started yet in his ass, a gag on and a choker he could feel his heartbeat against and of course the damn ring.

wonho took some steps back from hyungwon and took the view in. his boyfriend was sitting there, all tied up in all of his glory, glaring at him like he could just kill him if he had the chance. he took one more step backwards and sat down on a chair in front of hyungwon, taking his shirt off and spreading his legs, all the while hyungwon’s eyes never left him.

smirking, he picked a remote from a table next to the chair and without warning, started the vibrator. hyungwon’s body tensed fast and he shut his eyes with force and bit down on the gag but tried to relax soon after. opening his eyes again and looking at wonho with clouded expression, he moaned repeatedly at the sensation. wonho looked at him while even forgetting to blink properly, biting on his lips and chewing his cheek while his breathing pattern fastened by each passing moment of a fucked out hyungwon in front of his eyes. he slowly picked up the vibrator speed until it was on full speed. hyungwon would have come already if it wasn’t for the ring. not being able to move, he gave up the eye contact he loved to keep and threw his head back, closing his eyes, trying to ignore the pain the ring made by the pleasure the rest of it all gave him. just when he was getting used to the feeling and trying to sort his breathing pattern a little, he felt an electric shock entering through his whole body and pushing him over the edge. his eyes wide open, screaming at the sensation, not knowing where the electricity was even from and cuming dry. his body kept jerking through the ropes and cuffs and he became oversensitive soon after but not pleased cuz he hadn’t been able to release because of the stupid ring. he threw his head back, breathing harshly through his nose and feeling a few tears rolling down from the corners of his eyes. the orgasm was a very intense one, having caused by electricity inside him but it still wasn’t enough.

upon realizing the oversensitivity of his boyfriend he turned the vibrator off and walked towards him. he was still in shock because of the intense way hyungwon had reacted, screaming in that beautiful low voice of his and body jerking furiously through all those ropes. reaching his boyfriend, he immediately undid the gag and threw it away, taking hyungwon’s head in his hand and pressing it on his chest, caressing his hair while the other was still out of it, eyes closed and mouth open, inhaling freely without the gag. he bent down and placed a kiss on each of his temples, therefore clearing the tears from his boyfriend’s face and kissing his eyes and lips afterwards while whispering

“ you did good hyungwonnie. you did amazing. i’m the luckiest man alive.” then he started to undo the ropes and the ankle cuffs while kissing the reddened skin underneath. hyungwon had opened his eyes and was looking at his every motion silently. when he was done with the ropes and looked up at hyungwon while being between his legs he asked

“ how do you want me to reward you baby? i’ll do whatever you want. “ wonho caressed his thighs while waiting for the answer.

“ just take that fucking ring off already. i’m going crazy. “ hyungwon swallowed hard, realizing how dry his throat was now that he was talking. wonho wasted no time in doing what he was told and took the ring off carefully. he then stood up and reached for a glass of water he had put there before and placed it on hyungwon’s lips so he could take a sip. after that he went behind the chair, freeing hyungwon’s hands from the fluffy cuffs, grabbing them in his own hands instead and moving them to the front. wonho stepped back between hyungwon’s legs again and kissed his wrists that were a little redder than other parts of the wrapped skin. he felt like it should hurt from the color it was showing and he started to worry. hurting hyungwon was the last thing he would want.

“ does it hurt? “ he asked with fear visible in his tone. hyungwon looked at him with gentle eyes and smiled kindly, shaking his head. “ no, the cuffs were fluffy enough. “ he caressed wonho’s cheek with his thumb, thinking how lucky he was to end up with this kind-hearted man. wonho hummed and his tensed body relaxed at the touch.

“ tell me baby, how do you want me? i’ll do everything you want. “ wonho said while kissing his skin all over and running his hands up and down his thighs. it was so intensely affectionate. taking the view in, hyungwon inhaled deeply.

“ i want your mouth first, but then you’re gonna fuck me senseless cuz i fucking deserve it after all the teasing. “

“ of course you do baby. you deserve the world. “ wonho placed one last kiss before moving back a bit and sitting up on his knees, hands on top of his own thighs, eyes looking at hyungwon who had stood up. he slowly opened his mouth and moved his tongue out a bit, covering his bottom teeth. the view was enough for hyungwon to say bye to all his sanity and grab a fistful of the man’s hair who was sitting there, looking so soft and vulnerable as fuck, not anything like the smirking tease from a short while ago. making wonho look up by pulling his hair, hyunwon bent down and kissed him sloppy and open-mouthed and causing a string connecting their lips when they parted. hyungwon licked on wonho’s deliciously curved lips before standing straight and pushing his erection deep in wonho’s mouth, feeling it hit the back of the older’s throat while keeping his head in place by his grip. he knew wonho was able to take him completely in his sinful mouth so he just stayed there for a moment before pulling out and repeating the action a few times. the last time he did it, he kept himself inside for a bit more and a single tear rolled down on wonho’s face, looking adorable and hot as fuck. and then he started moving in and out of the other’s mouth, slowly at first but picking up the speed at each move. wonho tightened his lips around his boyfriend’s erection and played around the tip with his tongue each time it moved back and forth, adding to the sensation. after a short while, he felt hyungwon’s erection twitching and hyungwon pulled out, stopping the action and breathing fast. pulling at his hair again, hyungwon made him look up

“ you have to fuck me wonho, fuck me or i’ll seriously go insane. “

wonho didn’t need another invitation as he stood up on his feet immediately and hyungwon found himself thrown on the bedsheets in a blink of an eye. the adorable wonho from a second ago nowhere to be found. his boyfriend took his pants off at last and hovered over him. coating his thick erection that hyungwon was sure he was able to take easily at this point after all the torture, he pushed all of his length in one intense thrust. hyungwon saw white dots behind his forcefully shut eyes as he screamed out loud. he deepened his fingers in wonho’s back and scratched over it, being sure that the pressure would leave red lines behind.

“ do that again babe, please, do that again.”

his boyfriend had him right where he wanted him. begging nonstop for him to gift him with that ridiculously hot d*ck of his. he moved almost all the way out before slamming back in full force, having no mercy whatsoever as he himself was going insane by only watching hyungwon at the chair and not even touching himself through it all. he continued the fierce thrusts with speed and adjusted angel so that he would hit the prostate each time and he was being blessed with hyungwon’s painfully hot moans.

“ tell me when you’re near wonnie. “ he leaned in and whispered in the younger’s ear. he was hoping the other had understood his words as he seemed too out of it, eyes half shut and rolled back, body limp and just loud moans coming through his mouth. hyungwon’s body was sensitive. extremely sensitive. he felt like he was sent to him from heaven cuz he always loved the sensitive ones more and here he was, having a gorgeous boy as his lover with the body he always thirst for. hyungwon was delirious, producing sounds that wonho was sure the younger was unaware of producing. so when he felt his body tightening around him and hyungwon holding his breath a little, he slammed harder than before and kept himself balls deep inside hyungwon and not moving an inch, at the same time pressing down his thumb at the spot a between the balls and the hole, sending hyungwon to oblivion with how intense he came, yelping at the double pressure from inside and out on his prostate and gasping for air. he finally released between their bodies screaming wonho’s name and wonho started stroking his erection throughout the orgasm. wonho himself was very very close and the sight of hyungwon lying there all fucked out, sweaty and breathless, with his hands on each side of his body spread out on the sheets and his legs giving out and falling on the mattress, he moved out slowly and started stroking himself fast. it didn’t take him long before he came while hyungwon was looking at him and caressing his thigh with his hand. wonho wiped both of them clean and threw himself on the bed next to a completely energyless hyungwon. he knew his precious boyfriend would fall asleep soon so he pulled him into his arms and locked him in his embrace while inhaling his scent sharply and rubbing his hand on the smooth skin of the younger’s back. hyungwon didn’t even have the energy to hug him back so he just pressed his face in the crook of the older’s neck and placed a lazy kiss on his skin.

“ thank you for today. you are amazing. i love you so much. “ wonho said in a low but soft voice, kissing hyungwon’s forehead. hyungwon just mumbled a ‘ i love you too ‘ before drifting off to the dreamland and wonho couldn’t help a smile that formed on his face. it didn’t matter where they were. his home was where hyungwon was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to this day, i still have no idea where that chair suddenly came from :v


	100. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~  
> i'm sorry it took me so long to write this last chapter. i was in the mood of ' underwater ' ( my other story ) so i was writing that.

the cheering sound was still loud and ongoing when they were done getting changed. the fans were still singing the encore song even though the concert had finished about ten minutes ago.

 

“ please tell me you’re coming home with me. i don’t wanna sleep alone again tonight! it’s been a week. “ hyungwon said tiredly as he back hugged wonho on their way to the van, dangling from his body.

“ i still have a few things to take care of. but i’ll go home tonight if my baby wants me to. “ the singer said as he bent down a bit, took hold of the lean thighs and made hyungwon jump up so he could piggy-back him the rest of the way.

“ hmm, i want you to. i really really do. although i’m gonna fall asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow, i still want you to hold me. “ the dancer murmured into his neck, probably already half-asleep.

“ everything for you blackpinkwonnie. “ he pecked the plump lips once they were in the van.

 

 

it was still unfamiliar to wonho. the path to their new home was, although it had been around 6 months already.

 four years into their relationship, they decided to move to a bigger place. it was still an apartment, but it was a fancier one, with more rooms so they could have guest rooms since the number of people having a sleepover at their home had increased. kihyun and boyoung had their second child, a boy, two years back and the two kids loved the hyungwonho couple so much that whenever they came to visit, they just wouldn’t leave. they made one of the new rooms a kids’ room, filled with toys and two beds, so the siblings could stay whenever they wanted. shownu and jieun had gotten married a year ago and she was pregnant with a baby girl as well. something told the celebrity couple that their new angel would wanna stay with the siblings at their place as well. and then there were the joohyuk couple with their now two dogs in addition to the two cats. they wouldn’t leave them at home so hyungwon made sure to build a corner for the pets with cute small houses and pet toys and everything. everybody hung out in their place whenever they were in town and on tour so they kinda had to have these things prepared for all of them to enjoy their time together without worry. the kids would play in their room, the pets would play in their place without breaking anything and the grown-ups had the living room to hang out and drink or do whatever they wanted to do. the only couples with no pets and no kids were the shin brothers and their partners. and they had to have another guest room as well, since hyungwon’s parents started visiting them more often lately, after years of being cautious about wonho and how he treated their son, but they finally realized he wasn’t a shitty husband and so they came with lots of home-made food and big smiles and stayed the night.

 

wonho being wonho, he had gotten used to his singing and producing career a couple of years back. he still loved it when he performed and when he worked on music but it was no longer enough. he wanted more. he had to start doing something else before he would get sick of his music which he really didn’t want happening. thus, he started his own brand with the help of two very talented and creative women with great ideas. it didn’t take long for their company to start having a decent amount of profit since they had wonho’s unbelievable popularity behind them. all of this resulted in needing one giant room in the house. one that the celebrity could both do his music in and work on his fashion-related stuff. but every good thing had some bad sides to it as well. although he was successful in the fashion industry with the unique styles he and his colleagues came up with, he now had even less free time. there were nights they all had to stay at the company for getting everything thoroughly prepared for the announcement of their new collection. there were nights he had to stay at the music company because he was now a respected senior and had to tutor the trainees from time to time in specific areas.

 

 

“ hyungwonnie, baby, we’re here. “ wonho caressed his lover’s cheek gently. the younger had his eyes closed but he knew he wasn’t asleep.

“ i’m so freaking tired. i just want you to force me into the shower fast and then i wanna sleep for three days straight. “

 

hyungwon had been quite busy as well. he had been contacted by so many modeling agencies as soon as he danced in wonho’s music video with the rest of the trespassers a few years back. he didn’t really wanna accept their offers, being quite nervous and panicking about _‘ i don’t know shit about modeling wonho. stop saying i should call them back. i’ll just make a joke out of myself ‘_ but alas, the singer was successful with his constant praises and sweet words of reassurance that he was gonna be perfect and it was just posing for pictures and nothing more.

hyungwon’s modeling contract wasn’t one that required him to do runways and stuff, it was just about posters and commercials and such. but soon, his face and body and the whole aura of him attracted quite a lot of attention from the media and his email was flooded by offers. so much that they had to ask jongup to manage him as well as wonho.

 

“ you can sleep as much as you want. you’re free for a whole week anyway. “ wonho kissed the back of the younger’s hand as they walked to the door of their apartment.

 

“ SURPRISE “ a sudden wave of screaming and clapping and whistling attacked them as soon as they step foot inside. wonho was frozen on spot for a few seconds, eyes wide, as he just observed what was happening.

everyone was there. their group of friends with their partners and their kids and pets, dr.himchan and kai, daehyun and his boyfriend youngjae, jackson and hyunbin and a number of other celebrities that wonho was friends with, taehyung and jimin who by the way came back to town two years back and tae started doing music again while jimin worked at wonho’s label as a model along with hyungwon now, ( yes, of course wonho used his ethereal boyfriend as a model in his company, what about it!? ), hyungwon’s parents, jongup and a few of the company staff they were close to, dr.lee ( although hyungwon still didn’t like the guy very much and became jealous whenever he was around but he was wonho’s friend so he had to suck it up for the night and invite him ), yongguk ( hyungwon made up with him a year ago at fucking last when he was visiting the place his sister loved and saw the other man was there as well and they started hanging out more whenever they had free time which wasn’t very often really ), and at last.. wonho’s stepfather. his mother passed away a year ago while he was on tour and he didn’t really feel anything about it. he just wished he had the chance to say goodbye and that he never hated her but just got disappointed in her repeatedly until he didn’t care anymore. but the past was in the past and now mr.shin was a permanent member to their get-togethers with changkyun and his boyfriend, jeonghan.

 

“ what is this?! “ he asked laughing as he looked back at hyungwon who didn’t look sleepy at all anymore.

“ HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY! “ his beautiful black-haired lover shouted as he lifted his arms in the air dramatically causing everyone to giggle. a second later all of the people present started singing him the happy birthday song as he was pushed inside by hyungwon since he was too shocked to move apparently.

“ make a wish baby. “ the taller said as he brought the cake to wonho’s face.

he just stared at him. at how beautiful and perfect hyungwon was. he was searching for something to wish for but he couldn’t find anything. he had everything he could ever want and more, all collected in this one man standing in front of him with that bright smile and big eyes that were looking at him with so much love.

“ what should i wish for when i already got you? “ he said and leaned in to kiss those inviting delicious plump lips, not really caring about the possibility of catching on fire while doing so.

‘ ew ’s and ‘ get a room ‘ and ‘ there are children here ‘ echoed in the living room but the laughter that followed showed that no-one was really disgusted by the kiss and they were actually admiring these two love-birds whose love only seemed to get deeper.

he loved it. he loved him. if all the shit he had gone through was necessary for him to end up with this gorgeous human, he loved it all. if there was a next life, he wanted to fall in love with hyungwon again and again and again until he would fade into nothingness. until hyungwon would get sick of him and ask him to leave him alone, but he knew that would never happen. he could see in those eyes that the man loved him just as much as he did if not more. 

“ i love you for this life and all the lives after. “ he whispered against the red lips.

“ i love you forever and more. “ hyungwon handed the cake to the person next to them, not really knowing or caring who it was as he circled his arms around his man’s neck and kissed him passionately.

 

the party went on. hyungwon was busy playing with the kids cuz they just loved him so much and then the sound of the bell attracted all the attention to the front door.

“ are we expecting anyone else? “ wonho asked the beautiful black-haired man.

“ not that i know of “ he shook his head, putting audrey down and going to the door.

 

 

 

“ hey little brother “

there, at their door, was a girl with lilac hair and a gorgeous smile on her face. she was back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and just like that, after 100 chapters and many months, don't fall has come to an end. i'll miss my babies so much tbh..
> 
> a huge thanks to everyone who showed interest in this story, to all the comments and hits and kudos it got.
> 
> i have many other stories as well, make sure to check them out some time. i'm shitty at saying goodbye so i'll just finish this here. i hope you enjoyed this story to the very last chapter.  
> Bye~~~~


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